#but they were awakened after a bargain with a higher power to get revenge after his entire town was massacred

[haliaiii]

Oc posting 5: Juno

[shirtlesssammy]

13x13: Devil’s Bargain

Welcome to a Very Buckleming Episode! Our intent is to keep things humorous but even going in with low expectations, this episode was a wild ride.

Then:

Here is a picture of Badass Cas to ease you into tonight’s recap

Now:

We open with a montage/flashback of Cas in a forest, weakened and with blood pouring from his mouth, remembering his fight with Lucifer. How did Cas get to the forest? Why is he coughing up blood? Why is he so weakened that he’s unconscious for hours? We just don’t know. Two boys come along to see the dead body one found earlier, and they poke it.

Cas awakens with a start, and the boys scatter to the wind.

Cas - who had been banished by Lucifer? - walks back to the insane asylum, but no Lucifer.

We’re suddenly in a Lifetime movie! A woman, in a tan trench-like coat, is rollerblading down the street and trips, falling literally and figuratively for a man, with close cropped light brown hair (and slightly elfin ears), who catches her. The elaborate wedding cake he was carrying is destroyed in the process. A creepy dude watches approvingly, when Lucifer surprises him and reveals he’s actually an overdressed Cupid! He steals his grace and then kills him.

Cas is now in the bunker and giving the brothers the lowdown on all that’s been going on this season. Poor Sam has to learn that Lucifer is Earth 1 side. Dean has to learn that he hasn’t been talking to Cas this whole time.

The boys also learn that Mary is alive (which Jack showed them already?)

Lucifer hams up the almost-human bit. He’s cold and hungry. (I don’t rewatch 9x03 because it’s hard to watch Cas in this position. This is just annoying. Will Lucifer burn out his vessel on borrowed grace? Fingers crossed.)

Asmodeus and Ketch meet to discuss recent events. What was Asmodeus’s “important errand”? In any event, it’s pointed out by Ketch how monumentally stupid Asmodeus is. Ha. I mean, he really fails at a lot.  

Asmodeus tasks Ketch with killing the devil. Ketch seems less than impressed with the idea.

Luci tries emulating another homeless man, but fails. The other man offers to get Lucifer some food, and while they’re dumpster diving, he tells Lucifer about Sister Jo, a faith healer. Luci has his next meal lined up!

At the bunker, Dean and Cas finally have a couple minutes alone before Interrupting Moose interrupts.

Dean apologizes for not knowing Cas was captured. Cas deflects the unnecessary sentiment. He also deflects Dean’s question on whether he’s fine. CAS.

Sam arrives at the bunker and he has Donatello with him! He’s here because they have a plan. Use the demon tablet to open a door to the AU, throw Lucifer into that world, get their mom and Jack back, and escape before Michael follows them. Why use Donatello to translate the demon tablet if it’s only a maybe that the spell is on it? As many people have pointed out, why not use Kevin’s Elamite translations? (Boris: I watch 9x06 more than is allowed and wondered this right away!) (Natasha: at first I assumed they were going to unwrap Kevin’s translations and give Donatello a head start.) Ahem, rolling with the plot. Cas hears on Angel Radio that an angel was killed.

Cut to Sister Jo and her miraculous healing abilities, and Lucifer watching.

Team Free Will investigates the angel murder. They put it together that Lucifer is feeding on grace, trying to restore his power. Dean flirts with Cas. Cas flirts back. Sam looks distressed.

Lucifer introduces himself to Sister Jo, who is not impressed or intimidated. She’s really Anael, a rogue angel that Hannah and Cas didn’t find back in season 10. She’s a savy businesswoman who knows what she wants and how to play the game of humaning, so I’ll handwave that away. She talks Lucifer into using her grace a bit at a time. Apparently angel grace can recharge?! Gah, I’ve read theories (but can’t find them now!) that Cas’s grace didn’t recharge because of his depression. I’ll take all the positive head canons for this episode that I can find.

Meanwhile, the guys start asking questions about the death of the cupid. Sam interviews the homeless man that helped Lucifer. “Actually we had a lovely chat.” Sam’s eyebrows couldn’t get much higher. Oh, Sam. The man leads the guys to Sister Jo.

Ok, Stop.

I am 1000% creeped out by the whole new way to extract angel grace. So. Fucking. Unnecessary. And. Gross.

Ok, Go.

That night, we find Lucifer feeding on Anael’s grace. He admits to killing the last angel, and Anael gets worried. Who knows who will come to her place next?

Team Free Will, that’s who.

They enter Jo’s meeting hall, to find...Ketch.

Ketch greets them like old pals. He tells them he’s in the area to kill Lucifer. Sam wants to know who he’s working for and Ketch dodges the question by suggesting a teamup. 

Cas is...not swayed by this argument. They stuff the unconscious Ketch in the trunk of the Impala and Dean suggests that they head back to the bunker, “find out what he knows and put a bullet in him. Burn his bones, and flush his ashes.” Cas in ON BOARD. Sam distracts them from their revenge fantasies to show them video of Sister Jo, who Cas immediately recognizes as fellow angel Anael. They head off to search for her body. Sam put a tracer on her credit card and when it’s used, they’ve got a clue on where to find her...or Lucifer.

Meanwhile, Sister Jo’s credit card is getting busy at a motel and so are...Sister Jo and Lucifer. Lucifer slowly sucks her grace in a sexualized manner and I just...

Basically, to me this approach to angel grace extraction with Sister Jo uses non-consensual (or at the very least, dubiously consensual) sexual overtones as a lazy shorthand to an imbalance of power between a man and woman. Of course, we’re overly sensitive to this because it’s essentially on a bingo card for these writers. We’ve seen the use of non-con or dub-con before by these writers in the past couple of seasons. (For example: in 12x2, 12x13, 13x02, and 13x13) When it appears, we throw up our hands and rant, regardless of how fair that is, because we’re steeling ourselves for it. On the other hand, maybe I’m still just pissed about what Toni Bevell did to Sam and how that was just brushed aside.

ANYWAY, afterward Anael and Lucifer collapse onto the bed breathlessly and talk about how less grace makes you feel more human emotions. Emotions are a wild ride that majorly weirds out angels. “When I’m in that place I can see how there’d be pain but there’s also hope. Love even.” Anael keeps it positive and then she reflects on the lot of angels. She was an unhappy cog in the machine in Heaven and falling to Earth was a blessing. It freed her.

Down in Kentucky Fried Hell, Asmodeus is catching up on his reading when a demon minion interrupts to tell him they’ve located the prophet. Donatello, meanwhile, is purchasing copious amounts of fried chicken wings. 

Cas appears and asks how his work with the Winchesters is going. Donatello blithely spills ALL the beans. His work with the demon tablet is going great and soon he’ll unravel how to open a door to another world (facepalm). Oh Donatello. “The ingredients are very, very complicated,” Donatello frets, talking about the spell to open a rift and NOT for example seven secret herbs and spices. Casmodeus then slips into his southern accent, freezes Donatello, and compels him to become his spy. Casmodeus sniffs at the fried chicken in a nod to fandom’s nickname for him.

The next morning TFW rolls up to the motel where Anael is staying. They draw her out by pretending to be motel management checking on her credit card. When she sees them and they ask about Lucifer she asks them for help. 

Sam and Dean greet Lucifer in the hotel room. “Morning sunshine,” Dean says and we both growl protectively over that phrase which should NOT BE SULLIED by being applied to Lucifer. Lucifer’s awkward while Anael quietly clues Lucifer in to the fact that TFW thinks he’s still depowered. Thanks, Anael. “Trapped” by TFW Lucifer engages in small talk, makes a crack about Sam’s hair (fuck you Lucifer), and asks about their plans for him.

Suddenly Anael and Lucifer team up to hurl TFW across the room with their rather powered up angel mojo. Lucifer does the patented heart-clench with his fists and Sam, Dean, and Cas writhe in pain on the floor. Suddenly Ketch appears and chucks a spell at the ground.

Lucifer and Anael flap out of there and wind up in the woods somewhere. “I help you and you help me,” Anael tells him. Lucifer accepts this at face value and asks her for further direction. I can see she’s manipulating him but we both fear that this is going to lead to a sudden death for her at some point towards the end of the season. We both hoping we get to see her written with a little more depth later on in the season, and not just some fleeting medium-bad adjunct.

Back in the hotel, Ketch thanks TFW for their rampant gratitude. He then suggests that they pool their resources and go after Lucifer together. He confesses to working for Asmodeus. “How is that supposed to make us feel better?” Dean demands. Ketch says he’ll pass intel on to TFW. Apparently Ketch draws the line at letting Lucifer prance around the planet.

For Science:

Back to Lucifer, he’s chatting with a few of the angel host out by the Heavenly sandbox. Threats are traded between them but Lucifer promises to make more angels if they raise him up as ruler of Heaven. Duma laughs at this offer at first but Lucifer offers to give them back their wings. Ooooo now we’re talking.

Speaking of wings, Donatello adds more bones to his ridiculous pile of consumed chicken. Donatello’s...on edge. He’s enjoying the tablet translation headache that Kevin always suffered from. (Kevin! I weep) He promises that he’s working out all the necessary ingredients.

As TFW gets closer to opening a rift to rescue Mary and Jack, Lucifer assumes his throne in Heaven with Anael just chillin’ by his side.

Some time later Ketch chats with Asmodeus and they bond over liquor. Ketch worries that he can’t defeat the devil at full power. Kentucky Fried Demon pulls out a prized acquisition: an archangel blade.

It can only be wielded by an archangel which seems to make things tricky. However, Asmodeus has one more secret in his pocket. He leads Ketch to a cell with a mysterious figure in it. The figure looks up and….IT’S GABRIEL! (Asmodeus is using Gabe’s powers headcanon)

In summary, holy shit.

Southern Fried Quotes:

That money’s going into the ol’ leg fund.

Most of what we do are long shots. You get used to it.

All that time you were with Asmodeus, I..I, we should have known it wasn’t you.

The usual, bewildered.

“We’re boned.” “Epically.”

I’m the lesser of at least three evils.

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