#but they can offer you a nice bandage and healing salve and surgery in this trying time

[lucaanis]

i keep forgetting that it's technically within the realm of possibility that lleyth COULD have healing magic. but it just feels like a tall order on top of everything else they have going on

[a-court-of-illyrian-warriors]

Wings and Ruin

For my awesome friend @cassians-wingspan (sorry it took so long, I was pretty busy this week!)

Summary: The war with Hybern is over, but Cassian’s wings still have to heal. It’s kinda like his inner dialogue at first.

Word count: 2648

(I think there might need to be a trigger warning on this for bad thoughts/ depression)

—

She said I might never fly again. 

My wings might never heal. 

The rest of my body healed rather quickly thanks to my Illyrian blood, but my fragile wings were healing at the rate of which a human would heal. The healer gave me a large tin of salve to apply twice a day. It would help with the pain and healing. 

I offered the job to Nesta, thinking she would appreciate the trust I was placing in her, even though it would be absolute torture for me. But she snapped, like always. 

“No, Cassian. If you’re looking for pity you’ll find none here. I won’t do your dirty work.”

So Azriel agreed to tediously rub the salve– which stinked, might I add– into my wings, then bandage them back up. Besides that hour of interaction each day, I was mainly on my own. The inner circle spent most of their time correcting things that Hybern wronged, while I was ordered to stay in the townhouse (and in bed) as much as possible. Nesta seemed to avoid me as much as she could.

I tried to keep in mind that my wings had been shredded once before, and they healed. And I flew. And Azriel had his wings shredded. And now he’s fine. 

Like they say, your greatest enemy is your mind. I never really believed that, being the Commander of the Night Court’s armies. But now, as I lay in bed, the words one of Rhys’s most trusted healers spoke wrapped around my head and stuck like thorns in flesh.

“Your wings may never be strong enough to fly. Or even worse, they may never heal at all.”

What was an Illyrian who couldn’t fly? Or an Illyrian with no wings? Nothing. They we’re nothing. 

Wings are the pride and joy of the whole race. If you didn’t have them you’d be an outcast, many wingless Illyrians were hunted by the more ruthless Illyrians and killed, considered less than, disgusting, or a disgrace. 

What if that was me? What if that was me?What if that was me?  

I couldn’t be the General of an army, let alone the armies of the most powerful High Lord in history if I didn’t have wings. Rhys would act like it was fine, he’d let me continue leading. But I couldn’t, not if I knew there were more capable people out there. Not if I knew that I wasn’t as good as I used to be, and would never be better. 

—-

I walked through the Illyrian war camp, watching as the soldiers trained and sparred with each other. I had no place here, among the Illyrians. Especially not as their Commander. The wind wove through the camp, brushing against the remaining stubs of my wings. Rhys dragged me out of bed, insisting I come to the camp to see why I fought, and why I should continue to fight. But all I was feeling was the absence of the heavy weight on my back and the glares of the soldiers. 

It felt like there were a thousand eyes on me, all watching and judging. “What is that? It’s missing it’s wings! I don’t think that’s even Illyrian,” they seemed to whisper. Suddenly I felt like Azriel, having the shadows sing to me. But their voice was getting louder. “That doesn’t belong here. Just put it out of it’s misery.” My eyes were glued to the ground, watching the space in front each foot as I walked through with Rhys and Azriel. My messy, unkempt hair hung around my face, preventing me from seeing the stares, but i could still feel them. And the voices, real or in my head, we’re even louder, yelling at me.

“Disgusting, pathetic, worthless." 

They were so loud, I couldn’t hear Azriel repeating my name, trying to bring my attention back to him.

"NOTHING. NOTHING. NOTHING.”

—

I shot up in bed, my heart racing and tears streaming down my face.

“Its just a dream, Cassian. Your wings will be fine,” I murmured to myself, willing my heart beat to calm. If anyone else on the whole street was awake they could most likely hear it. I wiped away the tears, fresh ones rushing in to fill their place. I gritted my teeth against the hurting in my chest. I covered my mouth with a hand as my body shook, trying to repress all the emotions I never had the chance to express. 

I had never mourned, not properly. Not for all the lives lost in the war, not for all the soldiers lost. I mourned my wings. I faced the fear that I may never fly again, and remembered the last time I did. To Nesta, screaming my name like it was the only word she knew, so I wouldn’t die with my army. I should have stayed, should have turned to ashes on the wind like they did. Then she held me in what she thought were the last moments of her life, only to ignore me afterwards. Does she simply have a fear of dying alone? Was she craving comfort in those last moments? I poured out my heart to her, was that in vain? Did it mean nothing to her?

I mourned the soldiers that we’re decimated as I flew to some girl who would not even give me the time of day. MY soldiers. Something changed in Nesta after the war, and I mourned that too. 

—

I woke up just as the sun started to rise, an ache throbbing through my wings with each tiny movement I made. Somedays the pain was bearable, others, like today, it was more intense. I groaned, rolling onto my stomach and flopping down and burring my head into the pillow. 

I hear the door squeak and lifted my head just enough to peek through my dark hair. Azriel popped his head in, smiling as he saw that I was awake. It was nice to see him smile, and it sparked something in my heart that I had long since thought had turned to stone. Ever since that night I had cried untill the stars disappeared, it had felt as if I poured out every ounce of emotion I had, and now there was nothing left to feel. 

“Oh good, you’re up! I just got back and thought we should take care of your wings as soon as possible. I brought you a bagel and cream cheese, and some fruit, in case you want to eat while I put that stuff on your wings.”

“Thanks,” I muttered, sitting up, wincing as pain echoed through my wings and shoulders. I should have accepted Rhysand’s offer to apply the salve while Azriel was gone for a day and a half. 

“Bad day?” The Shadowsinger asked, sitting down on the side of the bed. 

“Yeah,” I replied, bracing myself and then scooting around so Azriel could reach my wings. He handed me the plate as he started to unwrap the bandages. 

“Is it still that right side?” He asked as he unwound the bindings. I nodded. It had been a few months since my wings were crushed, and the healer said they were doing well for the amount of damage done, and it should be only a few more months if all goes well. But for the last few days my right wing had been hurting more than the left. I had pushed it out of my mind, insisting that nothing would go wrong. 

“This one looks good. It’s healing nicely, I think,” Az observed quietly, it seemed more to himself than to me, as he folded up the bandages from my left wing. “Come on, Cass. Eat something, please,” there was a hint of desperation in his voice. He stopped, not yet working on the right wing. I know he was concerned, I had barely eaten since my wings were hurt. I didn’t see a point in eating when there was a possibility that I’d never fly again. But for Azriel, I picked up the bagel and tore off a small bite, chewing it slowly.

“Your body needs extra nutrition so it can heal,” he told me, and I knew he was right.  He started unwrapping the right wing while I ate in silence. The bandages had to be put back on while the salve was still wet to help moisturize my wings, so when it was time for the bandages to be removed again they stuck slightly to my wings. As sensitive as they are, it hurt quite a bit getting the bandages off each time. Thankfully Azriel was careful and gentle, but that meant it took more time.

I swallowed my fourth bite when Azriel gasped. “What?” I ground out, anxiety rising inside of me. His fingers brushed over the exposed upper half of my wing, his fingers oddly cold. “What?” I demanded, starting to stretch my wing out to examine it myself.

“There’s something wrong. It looks… infected maybe. It’s hot. And red.” Azriel shuffled around me, got off the bed and said something about finding the healer. The plate rattled to the floor as I shot up, rushing to the mirror despite the burning feeling on my back. My jaw dropped as I observed how it shimmered red in the light instead of the normal hints of purple and brown. I was an idiot. An Illyrian’s number one priority is their wings, and it’s my fault that my wing is infected. 

I stood there, shaking, for what felt like only seconds when Azriel rushed back in the room with the healer, Althea, in tow. Feyre and Rhysand followed only seconds later but Althea was already inspecting my wing. I barely felt the throbbing in my wing, my back and shoulder. I barely felt the cold touch of her hands as they moved around, assessing the damage I had done to myself. I barely heard Rhys ask my why I let this happen. I just stared at my reflection in the mirror with as much hate as I could muster. I barely knew the man staring back. Why did I let this happen? 

How?

“Cassian. Cassian! CASSIAN,” it was Rhysand, saying my name, drawing me out of my trance. He grabbed my left shoulder and turned me away from the mirror. “Did you hear what she said?”

“Uh, no,” I said, suddenly ashamed that I had ignored the woman giving her time and effort to help an idiot like me. “Sorry,” I added, as if somehow that word would take back all the wrong I’ve done. I looked at Althea, trying to focus on her instead of the throbbing in my back, in my head, or the sinking feeling in my stomach.

“The infection is spreading at an alarming rate. You should have spoken up when you first felt something wrong. I’ll need to perform surgery soon, if it’s spreading there’s not a chance that I can eliminate the infection. I can remove just the one wing, or both. There’s one more option, but it’s dangerous. I can try to salvage as much of the wing as possible, but you would run the risk of leaving some infection behind, then we would most likely have to remove both wings.”

My world was spinning. One word repeating over and over. 

Surgery. Surgery. Surgery.

“Do whatever you can. Please, try to save my wing.” My voice was shaking and I’m not sure if I really spoke the words I was thinking. Anything. Anything, as long as my wings will be okay.

She said she’d like to do surgery now. She gave me something to drink, she said it would put me out so I wouldn’t feel any pain. I downed it, ignoring the awful taste, and wanted to ask for another. Azriel came to where I was laying. He apologized, he said it was his responsibility to take care of me but he left. It wasn’t his fault, I wanted to tell him that but my tongue was lead and my head felt foggy. And then Azriel was foggy and I think he wiped away my tears. But when did I start crying?

—

I woke up to a room that was too bright, even with thick shades attempting to block out the sun. I groaned, remembering the pain in my wing. But it wasn’t there, it felt heavy, but it shouldn’t be if I had some removed. I sat up, wanting to ask what happened. I saw Azriel, dozing in a chair next to my bed, but his shadows swirled around his head and he shot up. 

“Cass!” He was beaming, a rare sight for the Shadowsinger. I watched as his hazel eyes looked at my wings. He helped me out of bed, and shushed my every attempt at asking a question. “Just wait! You’ll see,” he dragged me over to the mirror, keeping one hand in front of my eyes. 

“Azriel, what is going on?” I asked, trying to stretch out my wing. 

“Stop, Cassian,” he said, going behind me and starting to peel off the bandages on my right wing. He had turned me away from the mirror, so I couldn’t watch what was going on.

“You act like this is a surprise. There’s nothing good about losing your wing, Azriel.”

“I know. And that’s why I tracked down Nuan. Do you remember her? She made Lucien’s golden eye.” Thoughts started to swirl in my mind, butterflies of hope flying in my chest. I nodded, not being able to form words, overjoyed at the idea of what Azriel might be suggesting.

“Well, they couldn’t save all of your wing. But while you were sleeping after the surgery Nuan came and inspected your wing. They gave you more of that sleep drink and she fashioned you a new wing.” Azriel turned me around, and I saw my wing in the mirror.

The left one, scarred and still healing. And the right one, scarred only on the top half, then stopping abruptly. There it differed slightly in color, where Nuan had replaced the original membrane with something else, the bones running through the new portion glimmered in gold just underneath the surface. 

“She spent a lot of time trying to get the weight the same. Does it feel okay?” Azriel asked, running his fingers over it, seeming to admire Nuan’s craftman ship.

“Yeah,” I stumbled over the simple words. “Does it work?”

“It should. It will still have to heal where she joined it to your real wing. And your left wing has to finish healing. But then you’ll be up and flying in no time.” Azriel barely finished his sentence before I wrapped my arms around him.

“Thank you, Az. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. Thank Nuan and Althea. They fixed your wing, not me." 

"Yeah, but you found Nuan. And you took care of me,” I let go of my best friend, turning to admire my wing some more. I still couldn’t help but feel some sadness for the loss of my regular wing. 

“I shouldn’t have left–" 

"Stop, Azriel. It’s not your fault. Now let’s go find Nuan and Althea. I have to thank them, too.”

—

I let out a cheer as the wind whipped through my hair, my wings pumping air behind me. I saw my friends and family below, watching my first flight in months. It was an odd sensation, having the weight of normal wings, but not being able to feel the wind rush over half of one. I enjoyed it either way, though. 

I couldn’t help but smile as I saw Azriel take off and soar towards me, Rhysand following slowly behind, helping a hesitant Feyre fly into the sky along with us. 

She said I might never fly again. 

But right now I might never stop. 

[tipsycad147]

MEDICINE CHEST: HERBAL FIRST AID KIT

by Crooked Bear Creek Organic Herbs

Topical Herbal First Aid Kit

As you delve into the world of herbal medicine, at some point or another you take a look at your medicine cabinet and think, “What kinds of natural remedies should I stock in my first aid kit?” Many herbs offer topical applications for a variety of everyday woes, including aches and bruises, cuts and scrapes, bug bites and rashes. And conveniently, you can cultivate or wildcraft most of these herbs or find them easily at natural food stores and online herb shops. Here are a few basics to consider stocking:

Plantain {Plantago major} leaf, a ubiquitous and easily recognisable weed, is readily available in most lawns, woodland path edges, and pavement cracks. You can apply the freshly chewed or mashed leaves directly to bug bites, bee stings, poison ivy, rashes, and splinters to quickly draw out inflammation, irritation, venom, and foreign objects. How to use it: Fresh, mashed leaf poultice works best {and clean leaves store well in the refrigerator wrapped in a damp paper towel in a container}, but plantain infused oil, salve, vinegar, or alcohol also work well. Since I seem to attract any biting insect, I keep a roller vial of 50:50 plantain oil and yarrow tincture in my bathroom and travel bag to shake and rub on to disinfect and quell the maddening itch.

Calendula {Calendula officinalis} flowers also reduce itching and inflammation with wound-healing and mild antimicrobial activity but are more specific for general rashes, eczema, dermatitis, baby’s skin issues {such as diaper rash}, haemorrhoids, and minor cuts and scrapes. {Plantain works better for poison ivy and bug bites, but calendula helps out in a pinch.} For conjunctivitis, try a tea compress of calendula blossoms with some salt added to make it saline and perhaps a stronger antimicrobial like organic goldenseal. Use the tea or alcohol extract {diluted in water} as an antiseptic and healing mouthwash. How to use it: An infused oil is the most popular way to administer calendula, applied on its own or made into a cream or salve. However, it’s amenable to any form; fresh, dried, as a tea or compress, in the bath, in vinegar, and as a liniment/tincture. It works effectively solo or combined with other herbs, such as lavender essential oil.

St. John’s wort {Hypericum perforatum} fresh buds and flowers turn oil and alcohol a deep maroon red, a good indicator for potency. You can apply it to minor wounds and rashes much like calendula, and it has additional abilities to quickly ease pain {especially nerve pain}. With long-term use, it may even improve nerve repair. Consider the oil for burns, bedsores, minor injuries, and scars. For herpes {including shingles}, it not only helps limit outbreaks if applied at the start, but it can also ease itching and irritation and promote post-infection repair. How to use it: St. John’s wort is vastly superior when used fresh {not dried} with the bud and blossoms {not the whole aerial plant} – whip up a new batch every year or so. The oil is more soothing {and can be made into salves and cream}, but alcohol does an excellent job extracting and preserving the herb’s properties, and you can combine the two {shake vigorously before applying}. Use it plain or with like-minded herbs such as calendula, plantain, Gotu kola, lavender, and more.

Comfrey {Symphytum officinale} leaf oil {or salve or cream} works quite well as a substitute for the herb arnica with aches, sprains, strains, and arthritis pain. It may also speed healing when applied to a broken bone {after it’s been set properly}. Though it’s amazingly fast for wound-healing, I tend to prefer other herbs mentioned above because comfrey can heal a little too fast – it’s not sophisticated in skin remodelling, leading to scarring or sealing in infections. That said, it may promote connective tissue integrity and help work away old scars when applied regularly.

Some words of warning; comfrey contains cumulative liver-toxic pyrrolizidine alkaloids {PAs} and is best avoided internally; however, although you can absorb some PAs through the skin, the risk from topical use is minimal.

How to use it: Try it as an infused oil {which you can make into a salve or cream}, compress, or poultice.

Gotu kola {Centella asiatica} aerial parts may be more famous internally as an adaptogen, brain tonic, and for anxiety reduction, but Gotu kola offers benefits beyond these more commonly known uses. When taken internally and applied topically, both immediately and long-term, it supports connective tissue healing and integrity, reduces inflammation, and improves circulation and blood vessel lining. Consider it for wounds, ageing skin, haemorrhoids, varicose veins, as a mouthwash, post-surgery, etc. How to use it: Gotu kola works well in pretty much any form, including oil, cream, salve, liniment, compress, and bath. For added support, take it internally {as food, tea, or tincture} simultaneously.

Yarrow {Achillea millefolium} leaves and flowers offer a cornucopia of healing properties inside and out. The genus name comes from the god of war, Achilles, a nod to its use as a wound-wort for soldiers. Fresh leaf poultice helps to stop bleeding, disinfects, eases pain, and promotes healing of wounds, but its uses don’t end there. It tightens and tones blood vessels and tissues while promoting circulation – making it useful for varicose veins and haemorrhoids as well as a sitz bath and mouthwash – and can also be used as an insect and tick repellent. A wash, compress, or liniment helps clean out wounds and infections, too. How to use it: Fresh leaf poultice works best for wounds, but a liniment, saline tea, or compress can also clean wounds. Apply the liniment/tincture, salve, oil, or cream topically for various uses. Spray on a low-alcohol extract or tincture as bug spray, reapplying frequently.

Lavender {Lavandula angustifolia} flower buds also offer modest antimicrobial activity, but most notably soothe inflammation and irritations and also promote healing. Its name comes from “lavar” – to wash – and almost any skin type responds well to lavender preparations. How to use it: Lavender essential oil makes a superb, concentrated, easy-to-carry remedy that can be used “neat” {straight} or diluted in alcohol, oil, or other herbal preparations. You can also turn to standard herbal preparations like liniments, and infused oils as well as lavender flower water or hydrosol {lightly aromatic and excellent as a gentle skin toner}. I carry all-natural lavender wipes in my bag to sanitise hands, scrapes and ease rashes in a pinch.

Arnica {Arnica spp.} flowers form the basis of the most popular homeopathic remedy in the country, which can be taken or applied for bruises, aches, pains, trauma, and post-surgery. We classically use A. montana, but it’s limited in range and at risk for overharvesting. Other species can be used interchangeably, including the prolific and easy-to-cultivate A. chamissonis. How to use: Being accident-prone, I stash homeopathic arnica tubes in my kitchen, bag, and backpack to use as soon as I take a tumble. Homeopathic or standard herbal oil, salve, cream, or liniment can also be applied externally to unbroken skin.

Additional Notable Herbs

Thuja {Thuja occidentalis and T. plicata} evergreen needles, also called arborvitae and white cedar tips, work fabulously on fungal infections and other icky skin conditions and may also help with warts. Try thuja as an herb-infused oil, salve, liniment, topical vinegar, or homeopathic remedy. Apply at least two times per day for at least a few weeks after the infection clears.

Chapparal {Larrea tridentata} leaves, also called creosote bush, can be used much like thuja for all manner of topical fungal infections as well as for herpes. Apply this potent antioxidant herb to sunburns and as a light sunscreen. Like yarrow, it serves as a fabulous wound-wort, speeding healing and disinfecting with minimal scarring. Colonies of chaparral grow throughout the southwestern deserts, and the leaves are available commercially. Try it as an herb-infused oil, salve, compress, wash, poultice, or liniment.

Celandine {Chelidonium majus} fresh leaf poultice works better than anything to remove warts quickly. This common weed in the poppy family exudes a yellow-orange latex when cut. Apply the mashed fresh leaves to the area under a bandage overnight {it may stain clothing, skin, and surfaces}. Usually, the wart disappears within a few applications.

Topical Remedies

Herb-Infused Oil: Steep fresh or dried herbs in a shelf-stable oil {olive oil preferred} to extract the properties before straining. I prefer to use the alcohol-intermediary method for most herbs except St. John’s wort {fresh simple maceration works best} and calendula {any method works, but alcohol intermediary plus heat comes out the strongest}.

Salve: In a double-boiler, melt and combine 1-ounce of beeswax per 4-ounces of herb-infused oil. Remove from the heat and stir in any other ingredient {like 10-20 drops of essential oil}. Pour into jars or tubes. I will have a lip balm consistency and last six months to 1 year.

Cream: A blend of shelf-stable oil and water-based ingredients {including alcohol extract and hydrosols}, creams are versatile and absorb nicely into the skin. You may find them a bit tricky to make and keep stable.

Liniment: Per 1-ounce by weight of dry herb, cover with 5-ounces of 80- to 100-proof vodka or rubbing alcohol. Per 1-ounce of chopped fresh herb, use 2-ounces of alcohol. Fit into the jar so you can hold it all in, totally covered to the very top. Strain after 1 month. Liniments are disinfecting and long-lasting {years} but also prove somewhat drying and irritating to the skin. You can combine them with oils and shake vigorously before applying, or add them as part of the “waters” to cream recipes.

Vinegar: Disinfecting, less irritating to the skin, and affordable compared to alcohol, vinegar also soothes irritations like sunburns and poison ivy. Follow the liniment instructions and only use plastic caps {it will corrode metal}. Your vinegar will keep for at least one year.

Poultice: Mash up or chew fresh plant material and apply the wad to the affected area. Cover with a bandage if needed.

Compress/Wash: Make a strong tea to soak the affected area or dip a cloth to apply it.

https://crookedbearcreekorganicherbs.com/2019/08/18/medicine-chest-herbal-first-aid-kit/