#but there's so much background tragedy in worm

[imnotverybright]

does anybody remember raymancer? i know he shows up all of once but he's kind of haunting me. a ward who shows up to fight what was at the time an A-class threat, got radiation poisoning from an evil clone of a ward from a different branch, then he eventually "got too sick to move" and died. do you think the chicago wards thought of their teammate withering away from radiation poisoning every time they saw vista after that?

[operator-report]

In middle school, I read a short story for English class called Flowers for Algernon. Maybe you’ve read it, too. In the story, a disabled man named Charlie is given a medicine that cures his disability. Over the course of the story, he comes to realize that his “cure” is temporary and that he will “regress” into being disabled again. The story makes it clear that this is a tragedy. As a disabled teenager when I first read it, the story affected me deeply.

I’d like to talk about David and Noelle. 

Content warnings for discussion of suicide, self-harm, ableism and eating disorders below the cut. Spoilers for Worm through arc 27. 

When I was first reading arc 18, one of the things that stuck out to me is how much time the story spends on Eidolon. For me, it was the first time I paid much attention to him - prior to that, Eidolon was just an extremely powerful background character to me. But in arc 18, we learn that (1) Eidolon is losing his powers and (2) he believes that fighting Echidna will allow him to tap into some sort of reservoir to bring them back.

We find this out, of course, through Tattletale exposing him, which is always an extremely embarrassing event for Tattletale’s target. It makes it extremely clear that what Eidolon is doing is pathetic. He is going to kill a teenage girl so he can feel something. 

Which would be messed up enough, right? We don’t need to make this even worse, right? Wrong. Because Wildblow has spent the last several thousand words building up the Case 53s as X-Men style metaphors for oppressed groups, and one of the forms of oppression that Wildblow generally writes well is ableism. I think you can consider most, if not all of the Case 53s as disabled in some way. I think the link is extremely clear with Noelle.

Noelle doesn’t get her powers from traditional Cauldron human experimentation - at least, not directly. Instead, she and Krouse are facing what is, to them, a no-win scenario. They’re quarantined with limited access to medical care. Breaching this quarantine would permanently render them criminals. If Noelle survives her surgery, which is a pretty big if, she’ll become disabled, in a way that both Krouse and Noelle agree is ugly and undesirable. She won’t be able to do “boyfriend-girlfriend stuff” because she won’t be “any good to look at, after.” 

Krouse and Noelle are terrified of death, yes, but they’re also terrified of disability. They are desperate for control over Noelle’s body, control that, as of that moment, only the state has. (Remember the quarantine?) Krouse pressures Noelle into drinking the vial. Noelle is cured. 

Noelle’s cure does not last. In attempting to assert control, her body becomes uncontrollable. Her body is her trauma and her eating disorder made literal. She still needs care.

Worm would be bad if this is why her life sucks. But Worm does something better, instead. Noelle goes through hell, not just due to the sheer difficulty of having her power, but because of the way her teammates and Coil treat her. They talk about Noelle like she’s already dead. They’re ashamed of bringing her the food she needs. When Krouse “includes” Noelle in a discussion in arc 12, it’s mostly perfunctory. They do not believe Noelle is human any longer. They lock her away.

Noelle doesn’t want to be put in a cage. Noelle doesn’t want to be dehumanized. In interlude 18, when we get insight into Noelle’s thoughts, we learn that what Noelle is angry about is the fact that Krouse locked her in a concrete bunker and placated her. When she tells people not to look at her, there’s a coda to that sentence that she doesn’t get to verbalize: don’t look at me like that. 

This is the person who Eidolon is going to kill. 

Via the Simurgh, this is a person Eidolon has unknowingly created.

A few thousand words of Worm go by. It’s Gold Morning. Eidolon is fighting Scion. Now, at the end of the book, we finally get substantial insight into David, the man behind the mask. 

David takes a Cauldron vial to cure his disability. David sees this as the only way out, after an unsuccessful application to join the military, and then, an unsuccessful suicide attempt. David is bearing an immense amount of shame and internalized ableism. David is worried that father’s friends are watching him. (Don’t look at me.) David cleaves the world into two kinds of people: those who can have jobs, who are liked and respected because they are useful; and people like him, who are useless.

It’s a terrible way to think. Without that worldview, how could a person not take the vial? David wants to be used, because David wants to be useful. He never gets the independence he craves – not when he’s in that level of debt to Cauldron – but he gets to be useful, and that’s one of the best things you can be.

Like Noelle’s, like Charlie’s in Flowers, David’s cure doesn’t work. His abilities are wearing off. He is essentially told, when Doctor Mother administers his booster shots, that his medicine is too expensive. 

Cauldron creates Noelle. David, as Cauldron’s soldier, has a role to play in her creation. David knows exactly what he is doing to Noelle. It happened to him. Worm fandom talks a lot about David being a father. He’s a father in more ways than one. (David’s father is always watching him.) (Don’t look at me.)

Cauldron never cures David’s ableism. In his world, you can be useful, or you can die. David asks Noelle if she wants to win. Noelle tells him no. You can have a job, or you can kill yourself. When David tries to kill Noelle to help himself, isn’t that a mercy?

Of course it isn’t. It goes without saying that all of this is extremely fucked up. When it comes to disability, “cure” is a complicated concept. I’m not going to get into all the ways it can be treated; this post is already a thousand words long. But I do think that Worm, through Noelle and David and the concept of the Cauldron vial, provides an extremely vivid picture of the problems with cure. 

Under ableist logic, when you have a disability, a cure is something you’re expected to want. Without it, the story goes, you can’t be useful. You can’t do boyfriend-girlfriend stuff. The expectation is social, like the act of staring. Your desire for it should drive how you organize your life – it is control, like a quarantine. David is crushed by that expectation. He throws his lot in with Cauldron, the cure-makers. The expectation is passed along to Noelle, and even though David can recognize that inheritance, he cannot imagine any other way to respond to it other than attempted murder.

At the beginning of this post, I mentioned that Flowers for Algernon is a tragedy. The reason that story has stuck with me so long is that I keep going back and forth as to why. Is it a tragedy because Charlie goes back to being disabled? There’s a good chance that’s what the author intended. I don’t know. It would be a pretty shitty story if that were the case. Is it a tragedy because people only treat Charlie well when he’s “cured,” and when that stops, he’ll go back to abuse? Seems plausible. I don’t think there’s one right answer. Regardless, when you’re disabled, there’s an immense pressure to seek out a cure, and a cognizable loss when it is withheld. The fact that Worm captures that social pressure and social loss so well is extremely compelling for me, and I’m going to be thinking about these characters for a long time.

[lakesbian]

Armsmaster nodded, “Not surprising.  She’s new.  What we know about her is limited.  She made her first appearance and demonstration of her powers by way of a drawn out terrorism campaign against Cornell University.  Lung apparently recruited her and brought her to Brockton Bay after her plans were foiled by the New York Protectorate.  This is… something of a concern.” “What are her powers?” “Are you aware of the Tinker classification?”

ahem. okay. i can be normal enough about alec for long enough to liveblog. just the two notes here that

i really like the specificity of Against Cornell University. this obviously isn't something you pick up on a first read but it adds so much more character to her & background credence to the idea that villains aren't just generic people doing generic terror campaigns they're people with real lives and specific breaking points and personal tragedies going on beneath the surface. like ohhhh the Evils Horrors Of The American Schooling System got you huh

good worldbuilding and [gripping people by the shoulders] GOOD FOR WORM FANFIC WRITERS TO REMEMBER that power classifications are niche military terminology used specifically by the PRT to communicate the appropriate necessary response to particular powered threats in brief enough phrasing that you could shout it out during a fight and your fellow officer would understand what it meant + have time to react to it Before they were killed badly. niche enough that armsmaster has reason to ask a newer cape if they even know what the fuck a tinker is.

[graffic17]

Glory Girl!

Does she count towards my minor character collection? I suppose it being Worm-era Victoria makes her count.

I'll save my thoughts on Ward-era Vicky when I draw her in her Antares get-up.

As for Glory Girl, well, she's definitely a victim of both lack of focus and Worm being WB's first work. She appears a total of about 7 times, 2 of which are silent. Her first appearance being her interlude which was a clunky one, owing to WB's inexperience.

She just doesn't really much of a character. Her story is a tragedy, yes, but it's so far in the background that it's easy to forget about.

Which led fanon to turn her into "collateral damage Barbie." Honestly, just a painful twisting a character's barely established traits that, even with those barely there characteristics, make it feel like an entirely different character altogether. In a bad sense, not a good sense like with Ward-era Victoria.

Thankfully, Ward has rectified that fanon mischaracterization. At least, in the fans that actually read the books, rather than consuming purely fan-made material.

[miribooksies]

Jack and the Cockoo Clock Heart (2013)- Movie, Spoilers

HEHEHEHEHHEHHEHEHE

I watched this movie when I was a kid, tiny me, and I found it again because its songs kept worming around my head, and I'm so glad I did.

It starts with a our protagonist, Jack, being born in the coldest day on earth, his heart is frozen, so it is then replaced with a clock. It all starts from this, his heart. This movie is, in my opinion, a tragedy, but I think it's very debatable and interpretation-oriented.

The art style is very captivating, making everyone look like some sort of pristine doll. The backgrounds are very thought out and a highlight with how imaginative it is and how much it aids the story, especially regarding time-skips and travel. THE MUSIC IS AWESOME, I enjoyed this the MOST, it's very rhythmic, very thematic, and it explores multiple genres and atmospheres depending on what part of the story they're currently on. The MUSIC WAS MY FAVORITE, if nothing else just watch it for the melodies.

That being said the story is very captivating too, it's very motive driven, so it's very fast paced (including the dialogue, but I think it's because of the translation from French and not a choice to cut time) and every moment is key to the storytelling. Despite this quick pace, it is a slow burn, but they do a very good job of keeping it dynamic while keeping the tension of the main plot.

It is, however, a very sexual story, despite nothing being very explicit. The sister-figures of Jack are sex workers, when Jack meets his love interest (IMO most important part of the story, and best chorus, and very stunning atmosphere) he references tearing her dress to confetti with his teeth which ???? he's a kid in this moment so that was very confusing and weird, relationship between George Meliès and the two headed woman, and other instances of sexual innuendo achieved in many, many angles. I feel this is very notable, since Jack never is involved with anything. Being so enamored with Miss Acacia and his heart situation, we can probably assume he's a virgin, yet it doesn't stop the main and side romances from being very suggestive.

From what I hear the book is much more sexual, and the presence of it in his childhood in both book and movie is commonly tied to the sister-like sex workers, who are very open about their work and do share work stories in front of Jack.

Miss Acacia's powers are also never noted, which is strange because it isn't like every stranger walking the street suddenly sprouts thorns around their body or purple cones in their tits, it might've been very intentional though? I like the fact it was never a center of attention, and I think it really aids characterizing Acacia, pushing forward a fairly well-rounded character for the short amount of time. It helps us visually see her feelings, emotions, and intentions, kind of like wearing her heart on her sleeve.

On that same locomotive of thought, Joe has the same birthday as Jack, which is such a random piece of lore to drop, but giving it a bit of thought forms a solid idea. Jack was born on the coldest day on Earth, this is what caused for his heart to be mechanical, meaning that Joe was also born in that same coldness, but we don't see him walking around with his own pendulum, so why is that? Probably because, following the film's very direct and literal nature, his heart is simply cold, which pushes him to be as cruel as he is to Jack.

It might've been because it was 1 AM and because the beat might've scared me, but I really felt the final kiss in my chest, and I think the building up of the whole narrative really makes this such a good ending. If it's a good ending is probably debatable, but me personally I appreciated the direction in which it was taken, and that the tragedy was taken to the end, without letting go of the romantic plot for a second. It feels very complete, I guess. Even as he climbs the snowflakes, it feels very true to the story, that's probably why I like it so much.

Props to the whole team honestly they REALLY know how to make atmosphere, and the way they used those tools to convey storytelling is PHENOMENAL!!

I also see where and why the movie could be strongly disliked, if you end up hating it, but I thought it was fire.

I watched it here!

[scalacaelumxx]

Who are your top 3 favorite KH characters? ✨

I'm going to try not to ramble on this forever but thank you so much for sending this ask in! I apologize in advance for the can of worms you have opened.

Vidar (Spoilers for Dark Road incoming) Probably the least surprising thing, but currently Vidar is my top favorite. I'm fairly new to the mobile games, and full disclosure, I did not like him when I first saw him. Eraqus was so upset by Vor leaving (even though it was her own choice) that I genuinely felt for him, and therefor didn't approve of Vidar "taking" her away. But continuing the story and learning that he and his friends were so close to achieving what they had been training for for years, only for it to end in the death of not one of his friends, but four of them. And he can't bring himself to strike down what caused their deaths, because Baldr is just a kid and he (presuming that one line was about Hoder) can't bear to face her if something happened to him after she died trying to protect him His character is interesting, he's got a killer design, you can tell how much he cared about his friends, and the tragedy of risking everything to save someone for your friend, only to die by that person's hand trying to protect the friends you have left. I could talk about him for 22 hours a day.

Saix/Isa I know I don't post about him a lot, but Saix (or Isa) has been one of my favorite characters since my friend introduced me to Kingdom Hearts when I was a kid. If it wasn't for Vidar, he'd still be in the top spot! There's just something about how ruthless he was in kh2 and Days. How brutally honest and blunt his deliveries were, and how his boss fight involves catching you off guard with mechanics that don't seem to suit what you've seen of him until you really look at it and realize it does. His relationship with Axel is hilarious on surface level and depressing when you go deeper. His relationship of being Xemnas' right-hand man (next to Xigbar) while also plotting to betray him is so intriguing. And then seeing those sharp eyes and the barbed words and the ruthlessness in him and seeing those compared to the kid who made fun of his best friend and wanted to explore places he wasn't supposed to be in and help someone he had just met is heartbreaking. I loved his redemption in kh3, subtle in the background as it was, and I'm hoping to see more of him trying to be a better person and make it up to Roxas and Xion in 4.

Zexion/Ienzo This one caught me so off guard. I had gotten back into the fandom after a long while and was replaying through the old games to get caught up and Zexion blindsided me in Re:CoM. He was secretive and quiet, but really held no animosity towards Sora or Riku. Which, compared to the rest of the Organization in the castle, stood out a lot. Considering this, he really didn't deserve the death he got, which is still pretty brutal for a Kingdom Hearts death. Then he comes back and immediately throws everything he has into helping the heroes. They were more of a means to an end before, rather than true enemies, and despite their reservations about him he has no problems spending all of his time and resources into helping them stop Xehanort. He was just a kid when he helped start the fall of Radiant Garden but he still feels so guilty and wants to atone so badly. Plus you get extra angst in the "didn't have a heart for 10 odd years and now suddenly has one and is feeling" department.

Runner ups include: Baldr, Vali, Xaldin/Dilan, Vexen/Even, and Terra!

[mindshelter]

xina and miguel worms. their rift is such an understated tragedy in the narrative—in particular because it's such an uncannily true-to-life depiction of a a formerly-inseparable pair of friends (importantly, a boy and a girl) who are torn apart by the worst parts of patriarchal socialization (with the added dimension that they were two non-white kids finding kinship in one another).

xina always... glowed. was more headstrong, more well-liked, more self-assured, and i think, as a boy from an abusive background, miguel was dazzled by this bright spot of a girl. she looked out for him, encouraged him to stand up for himself—and for many, many years, miguel saw her as a source of comfort and safety.

and then they grow up. the institution they were raised in begins to tell him, a young man, that he is the smartest person in the room, and promise him a seat as a member of the ruling class.

miguel buys into the indoctrination. he has spent so much of his life feeling afraid. watching his father yell and spit and swing his fists. alchemax gives him a playbook on what he has to do to join this room of powerful white men. (the fact that tyler refuses to call him by his actual name is something he is willing to tolerate.)

xina's intelligence starts to bother him. miguel's admiration towards her, which has always, always existed, withers. she's now a threat to this new siren-song worldview that the man is the most important person in the room. she is not an extension of him. xina, who he has always loved and respected as a boy, threatens his status as a man.

(but here's the thing: miguel will never be anything but a commodity. alchemax will let him neglect his heritage and morality in the pursuit of whiteness and a faulty conceptualization of what it means to be a man—let him be "one of the good ones"—but as soon as he becomes inconvenient it becomes painfully obvious that he never mattered.)

(he always mattered to xina.)

xina doesn't know it yet, but her best friend is gone.

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s3 ep1: Basics pt 2

I don't think I've seen this one in a long time, maybe even since it first aired, because it's actually a bit different, and slightly better, than I remembered.

I did remember lots of redshirts getting killed off, and aside from wondering how they'll have any crew left when they keep dying, it was so much worse now that I've actually been paying attention to the background crewmembers and recognizing them and learning their names and the actors who played them this time around. I was absolutely biting my nails when I realized they were setting up Hogan to be the next to die- he's been in most of last season's eps, and I really did like him, and his death was sooo overtly telegraphed, like oh my god, don't be that stupid you guys! Don't kill him off that stupidly! But they did. At least everyone was properly horrified and saddened by his death, but yeah, Neelix, you should blame yourself! Who the heck tells someone to stay and pick up bones at the mouth of a cave on an alien planet where there could be unknown creatures?! Did he not think, hmm, I wonder what killed the person whose bones are sitting at the mouth of a deep dark cave?? Hogan sure did, but he listened to Neelix, and now he got eaten by a giant worm dragon. Great work Neelix, that'll boost morale! (I want to not hate Neelix, really I do, he wasn't trying to get him killed, but oh my god, this stupid writing is not helping me like him at all.)

I also remembered the badly thought out aliens on the planet. Even though it's not Earth, and they're not supposed to be cave people technically, I still hate whenever sci-fi or fantasy shows try to depict 'primitive' cultures. They always end up being violent and superstitious and having grunty 'uga buga oo' type language, and it feels too close to old timey racist caricatures of actual tribal societies for comfort. Having them kidnap Kes, the beautiful blonde girl, presumably because their men find her more attractive than their own women(!!) and must have her for themselves, is just another awful, racist, sexist trope that upholds western colonialist beauty standards, which we should not have been doing anymore, even in the 90s.

Aside from that, seeing the crew try to make do on the planet without their technology was interesting. I loved that we found out that Tuvok taught archery and made a bow, plus he looked super cool with his archery gear. Using the crew's hair to kindle fires was a nice touch- all those women crewmembers with their long hair that men usually consider frivolous just saved them all, ha!

And of course, Tom's shuttle survived, and he gets to do some major hero stuff- he's repairing the heavily damaged shuttle, while fending off Kazon attacks, and actually manages to destroy a Kazon scout ship that's twice the size of his little damaged shuttle! And he gets to the Talaxians, convinces them to come help, and comes up with a plan to retake Voyager, on the fly! And it works! Chakotay better be nice to him from now on, because he totally saved everyone's ass here, with only the Doctor and Suder for help.

Suder was the character with the arc that really surprised me here. I always remembered disliking his character, probably because Meld was such a bad episode, but actually, they gave him some very thoughtful material here. Seeing how desperately Suder actually does want to get better, and how close he is to finally overcoming his desire to kill people, and get close to a normal life, only to realize that he's going to have to kill people again to survive, is truly heartbreaking. Brad Dourif gives a very fine performance as we see Suder struggle with knowing that the only way for him to help his crew will be to lose himself again, and everthing he worked so hard for. The Doctor's attitude towards him feels rather insensitive and dismissive considering the utter devastation the situation presents to Suder, but in a way, it just adds to the tragedy. At the very least, the Doctor gives him some actual positive words of encouragement and belief in him when he leaves him with the task of carrying out Tom's plan. Suder's final scene is almost Shakespearean in it's sense of inescapeable tragic fate. He has to kill all the Kazon to save the ship, and it kills him inside, and he has to die while redeeming himself with his first and final act of selflessness. It's an unexpectedly moving scene.

Suder's sacrifice enables Tom and the Talaxians to retake Voyager, Seska dies from the system overload, and the surviving Kazon flee. (They took some escape pods though, which I'm sure they never return- how do they still have any left later??) They pick up the rest of the crew, and Tom tells them how Suder saved the day before he died. (And hopefully someone tells Chakotay that Seska's baby is actually Cullah's! Which honestly, thank goodness, because you know they'd have been chasing that kid around the quadrant for another season at least, and then what would they do with it? There's already one baby on the ship to have baby plots with, we don't really need another one, nor do we need all the Chakotay angst that would have gone with it. Thank heaven they tossed that plot thread out the window!)

Overall, this one was actually better than I remembered. I wasn't fond of the 'primitive' aliens, or the gratuitous redshirt deaths, but Suder's death was a meaningful conclusion to his story arc, and Seska's death brought her arc to a fitting end as well, with her hubris in thinking she could outsmart the Federation crew bringing about her downfall. Though tbh, it wasn't even the whole crew who outsmarted her, it was literally just Tom Paris. Lol get wrecked Seska! But actually, her death scene was pretty sad, how she tried to get to her baby- even though she's a terrible person, she's still a new mom who won't get to see her kid grow up. And they even gave Cullah a small moment of humanity when he was genuinely upset by her death. (Now let's be done with the Kazon forever please!)

Tl;dr: a fast paced adventure story that brought some of last season's story arcs to a fitting conclusion, with an unexpectedly heartbreaking turn from Brad Dourif as Suder.

[shifuto]

some closing thoughts after a little over 1 month of revisiting Yugioh Vrains

Vrains is a trainwreck in the most endearing and wonderful way

I love this show so dearly and feel like this time I finally managed to appreciate it in the way it's supposed to - problems and all. I feel like I was finally able to understand a lot of the peculiarities and subtexts that, before, I didn't have enough emotional maturity for, and it helped knowing generally what was going on because watching this show for the first time was.. not great (for reasons I talked about already in other posts from this marathon)

going through that grueling filler-plagued beginning was hell, and one of the reasons I was dreading going through this show again - it even got me questioning why I put Vrains so high on my ranking of favorite YGOs (because my memory is bad and I didn't see any reason for Vrains to be that high), but once it starts going.. oh boy it doesn't stop, this is why I finished it so fast LOL

Vrains's story is very compelling and the minimal cast helps to keep everything close-knitted (I highly prefer fewer characters like this). Not all of these are interesting, but the ones who are do make up for it. I have found love in characters I didn't pay much mind before; loved the ones I already did even more; and went batshit insane over my favorites; Spectre

I don't think we'll ever have a plot like this in the franchise and it's such a shame. Vrains portrays trauma, pain and loss without romanticizing it. The main character has PTSD and he's not magically cured after everything - none of them are, except Jin (and this is another whole can of worms I'm not sure if I want to get into....) - Vrains is not a happy show or a happy story, and this is what makes it so wonderful in my eyes. Tragedy is what kickstarts this story, and tragedy is the one thing that is consistently happening throughout it

before, I guess I didn't really like the ending very much because the story was cut short and everything was rushed and too vague? But now (and understanding why it was cut short), I can find some silver linings, for example: that open ending feels good. It's nice to have stories such as this (and also in Zexal) with a lot of openings, and holes and things to be filled with theories and ideas: if the canon doesn't provide, the fanom might as well do it

I have so many favorites and so many ships for this show now 🤣 I think I had like 2 max the other time O: surprisingly, Yusaku and Ai went kind of in the background? I wonder why..

I knew I would get obsessed with Akira even though I paid no mind to him before 🤣 what can I say, he's just my type hahahahahaha. I was already obsessed with Kengo before and it got much, much worse so congratulations me for the renewed and augmented Blood Shpeherd brainrot 🥺💜 I have always loved Shoichi and he'll remain as one of my favorite characters ever as well so it was a delight to watch this and have so many episodes and scenes with him, my heart is so fulfilled 🥺🥺🥺 I love Jin and also Lightning for all the wrong reasons (don't ask about it 🤣), and so many other characters too but lets focus on who is really important (and was very surprising): Spectre

I honestly do not know what happened that I got this much into Spectre? He was also one of those I didn't really pay much attention before, and he became.. my favorite character in this I guess???? Well one of them, but you get what I mean 😆 the long story short is probably me omega projecting on him, and his relationships with Ryoken. Let me dream, alright?

I don't know if I have the energy to talk about my ships but just know that I have a copious amount of them. It's a lot

all in all, Vrains is amazing and it would probably be my favorite YGO if not for all the production issues, really. There's several things I'd change and try to fix, but overall, it's fine and enjoyable as it is, thankfully

I don't know, I'm sad it ended and I wanna watch again right away LOL

[verminviscount]

ive been made aware that i have strong opinions on my personal ranking of percy jackson characters so im making a post about it. bc thats what we do here on tungle.hell. experiencing brain worms? spread the word. @garecc i invite you to include your own brain worms here

for those who may not know, which i expect is most of my followers here, Travis (garecc) and i go way back to the days of a trials of apollo discord server that has since crumbled under the weight of various discourse and does not exist at this time. so if anyone understands pjo brain rot, its him.

ONTO THE RANKING. ill be focusing on main characters bc if i include side characters we'll be here all day and Sally Jackson would be every character in this top 5.

1. Hazel Levesque. Deserves better in the eyes of fandom. Gained pretty good control over the mist within one book. Has a cool magic horse. Similar tragic backstory to Nico, but not sulking about it. No shame in sulking, but its cool to see someone go through bad shit and come out still feeling mostly okay.

2. Will Solace. Unfortunately for me, I haven't finished the trials of apollo series yet, so i dont know THAT much about Will as he's primarily a background character. But Apollo kids and medics both get my utmost respect and appreciation, always. and he's a little bit of a sarcastic little shit, but the kind where people dont get annoyed with you bc its almost always funny and lighthearted. i know from hearing people talk about tsats that he's also a Sad Boy (which is to be expected as a demigod, tragedy physically cannot leave you alone.), and im excited to read about someone with my personality go through a mental breakdown :D!

3. Frank Zhang. Listen to me. How can he not be this high up. I don't even know where to begin with this guy, he's so gods damned cool. He's just such a good character and a good dude too! I'd love to be his friend. What a sweetheart, iirc he was the only person at camp jupiter who wasnt freaked out by Nico? he's so nice. children of Ares/Mars are usually mean, and he's so nice. i love him so much. also his life force is connected to a chunk of wood, which is kinda neat. he's a legacy of poseidon. he's canadian. im pretty sure his first name is Westernized bc his grandma calls him Fai, my last name was westernized when my great grandparents came over so i sort of get it though not nearly to the same degree. I ALMOST FORGOT HE CAN SHAPESHIFT!!! DUDE what a cool guy. we gotta move on, i gotta cut myself off. give him more attention in your fan works

4. Nico di Angelo. obviously a fan favorite, but im talking canon Nico here. im not talking about an uwu soft emo boi. im talkin about a sarcastic, pessimistic, deeply insecure little dude. listen, im not gonna talk about the things i love about nico because its been said a million times. its nothing new. im just gonna say that i love reading about characters that go through awful awful trauma and still overcome and find joy on the other side.

5. Rachel Elizabeth Dare. so my impulse is to put Leo here bc i adored him when i first read HoO. and if i didnt really think about it, i wouldve put him. but... Rachel!! how can you not love her! a mortal lady who can see through the mist, she fought with a hairbrush, she's the liveliest and loveliest oracle of delphi camp halfblood has ever and will ever know, she’s from money and hates it, she's an activist, an artist, way more helpful than the last oracle for sure. the mummy in the attic just left you to fend for yourself, Rachel will at least try to help you interpret what a prophecy means. she's blunt and talks a mile a minute, i love seeing my "flaws" represented positively in media.

honorable mentions: Leo Valdez of course, easily my number 6 spot. Apollo/Lester, we love seeing immense character development. Grover Underwood, probably the first time i ever had a definitive favorite character. Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase, romance would be dead and we wouldnt have a series without them.

[gojuo]

It's going to be a bit of a silly question, unrelated to any useful discussion about HOTD in general, but I was wondering: do you think that you would get along with Aegon if you were a character in that universe? Would he frighten you because of his position as King? Would you find him off-putting? Or perhaps beautiful in a very uneasy way? I need to know!!!!

heh this is a very cute and refreshing question, anon ngl 😆 hmmm... to be honest, it would depend on whether I get isekai'd into Westeros with my own body and soul intact or whether I'd be born as a woman in that world. if it's the latter, then I wouldn't even be anywhere near close to King's Landing or be in a position to evwr be able to meet him, because I'd be either a Dornish peasant or an Essosi one lol. and also #reverseracism would win bc death to targaryens and all that jazz, y'know? the spirit of meria martell would possess me fr

for the former ... well I'd have the upper hand of already knowing all about his traumas, his grievances, his insecurities, his deepest needs and wants so it would be pretty easy for me to figure out how to worm my way into his good graces. the issue is, would I do that though? yeahhhhhh... I wouldn't wanna get close to him. there are just too many moral lines I will not cross and personal beliefs I would never compromise in order to become friends with a man like him. alcoholics, addicts, philanderers/cheaters, sexual harasser (book) or rapists (show), the richest of the richest of the rich .... these are not the kinds of people I want to get involved with or have present in my life. our morals would clash, and if he were a real person right in front of me? I wouldn't respect him, at all, and you can't have any sort of positive relationship with a person you don't respect.

he's too degenerate and crass (I hated how he spoke to Baela, it was gross), and in the show he's a rapist now (literally why would I ever want a rapist for a friend) and in book canon he's described as having wandering hands. I don't think any woman can be friends with a guy like that, least of all a woman like me who has a zero tolerance for bullshit attitude with a background in kickboxing and a really short fuse. I'd punch him in the face if he ever tried anything on me and the next day I'd be walking to the gallows for having the audacity to put my hands on a prince of the realm 😭😭😭

maybe not the answer you were expecting considering how much I defend Aegon on here, but my like for the character does not come from the belief that he's a good guy or something (bc he's not) nor that he deserves better, no. the reason I like Aegon the character so much is because he was born to be doomed. from the day alicent and viserys married, he was doomed. he never stood a chance. his fate was already decided long before he was conceived. he had no say in his own destiny. and I love that type of character. I just really love characters who are doomed. it's a tragedy I enjoy seeing unfold and getting to see the human psyche unravel because of it tugs at my heartstrings. so I love Aegon The Fictional Character for the tragic fate he's doomed to live, but I would never get along with or want to be friends with Aegon The Person

[hand-stuck-in-shredder]

the angst is KILLING ME up in here HELP ugh

warning this be long

lavender, man... i havent thought about Dhuurg in a while (i named my durge and didnt.. anticipate him growing on me. u dont just namechange a child at 25 thats not how that works) cause. Durgetash. but, man. i suddenly cant move onto what im actively working on/am supposed to be finishing because this shit keeps worming its way into my brain. lavender isnt even supposed to be his "canon" but i jsut think itworks so Well for him. he has puppy eyes and i need him to struggle and be anguished

i dont think id end up writing about how he Actually ends up but.. he tries to start up a new cult, become a proper god, you know. Average Tuesday shit. lots less angst of how to learn to live with yourself after getting fragmented (spoiler alert: u cant) and missing something without knowing What youre missing n Why. the body/being remembers the mind forget et cetera.. i dont think lavender would be particularly durgetash centric, i think itd be more of a solo-piece with it being more in the background, but.. still, itd be a motivator enough for him to lose his shit when doordash dies. like what do you MEAN someone so important to me vanished just like that and i couldnt do a damn thing about it?!? even if withers (note: havent finished a durge run yet and havent been 100% spoiled. let me cook) made sure u no longer got dat Bhaal in u, for dhuurg i think it kinda just went dormant until well. that. he had a fine and dandy week of being himself until oops! tragedy! ur living with a demon again yay except this time its just murderous for the sake of habit/grieving and less because of Bhaal. youre literally just like that. you are actually an evil person. good luck coping because unless u get off the bathsalts ur not gonna be able to have an iota of a sense of "self" because surprise, u and your pal are now more integrated than before and there is no seperation anymore, your tadpole is also gone and things are So much worse because of Everything. the lavender doesnt just supress the urges it supresses U now. sedation? somewhat. you live in a beautiful field of lavender out of fear for yourself and what you are. you are softlocked, is this not for the best? there are no horizons left for you, the sun has set and the stars mock you with their long-gone light.

on the lowkey.. it occurred to me that this might be slightly reminiscent of mental illness that's somewhat stigmatized and im ngl while i dont think this concept is the same as that/taking inspiration from something that really real people suffer from, i am being cautious to kinda avoid those themes and trying to be aware of what exactly im goin for. this is more a, two snapshots of two technically seperate people fight for ownership of the body that may or may not be really theirs, with different motives, its.. idk but dhuurg cannot catch a break.

i needa learn how to draw so i can draw dhuurg being cunty and sucking gort within a negative inch of his life. he deserves something good after this ok

[campbluelake]

Well The Night Weighs Heavy On His Guilty Mind | Ch4 Start (1/2)

Feeling weighed down by both your waterlogged clothing and the revelations and tragedies of the past hours, you make your way back to your cabin that night--or maybe you don’t. Maybe you find yourself trying to pull an all-nighter, begging your eyes to stay open so that you don’t have to close your eyes and see Warrick’s mangled figure, Audie’s bloodstained form, Inès’s headless body. 

Whatever you may be hoping for, though, whether it be restful sleep or blessed wakefulness, you don’t get it. Your eyelids feel heavier and heavier until Sleep pulls you under, and no matter how desperately you claw at the ground of consciousness, you eventually slip into a dream.

There is no Lack this time. You feel. You feel so strongly that you’re unsure if you’ve ever felt so electrified in your life. It’s like your entire body is covered in static electricity; if it were any more intense, it might start to burn. You can hear every movement of your muscles, each staggered breath, perhaps even the individual firing of your synapses is audible to you. Just as soon as it’s about to be too much, the door to Awareness is shut, and your mind is instead filled with that same cacophony of voices from before.

“Dearest counselors, thou have gone through another terrible, terrible trial, another bout of horrible tribulations. Don’t thy bones ache? Don’t thy spirits cry out for reprise? Children of man, don’t thou wish for blissful Eternity? Breathing souls, I offer thee this. In this beautiful reality, thou can feel warmth, safety, love. With me, thou shall be cherished; Harm and Hurt will not find thee within my bosom, this is my vow to thee."

Echoing softly in the background up until now, another entity lies in wait. A weaker force, a multilayered voice pushes through the Veil, speaking through what sounds like blown out speakers. If one is a cacophony, this one is a small choir, eager to reach you.

"Thoust living, fear not the bloodshed! You bathe so readily in it, as if it were home. Thou were meant for this, and will come to accept this in due time. If thy cannot find purchase in this paradise, there's always the option to fight for your freedom. Do not give yourselves to despair! Live on, and enjoy what is provided."

The small echoes subside, and leave the stronger and more vibrant cacophony of voices to continue. 

"Those dearly departed, allow yourselves to feel Vacancy. She, too, will welcome you, and the void of Nothing will bring you great comfort. Listen to my guidance this time: mortals do not belong in Perpetuity. Lay down your heads and rest. You don’t deserve to have to fight this fight that is not yours any longer.”

The echoed voice laughs quietly, crackling in and out of your awareness. Its grip on you is weaker, but not any less prepared. 

"Just relax and leave everything to Eternity, spirits. You're not long for this world. Thine stubbornness is the byproduct of another's hastiness and naivety! Wouldn't it be better to accept eternal rest?"

The clamor returns. A cold chill--no, not chill, gale--sweeps across your spine. It’s like your blood has frozen, and your head feels fit to explode with the sudden pain. Some sort of subarctic brain freeze grips your mind.

“Dastardly interloper, your meddling has not been forgotten. Each day, we grow closer to finding you. Your little trail of breadcrumbs has not gone unnoticed. However, the offer of mercy has thus been retracted. There exists a special place at our heels for conniving worms like you, and you shan’t escape our judgment. This disruption shall be paid back tenfold. May you scurry back to the hovel you came from before we discover you. If you do not, only Oblivion awaits you.”

Perhaps the flush of heat would be welcome if it didn’t leave you feeling ill from the sudden change in temperature. The sound of flames flickering reach just behind your ears, threatening to burn if this were not a vision. Insisting more is to be said, the small choir chirps in, its aggressions hotter than the other's chilly words.

"One will find you, and you'll be done in. Thoust end will be swift and grotesque if you do not surrender yourself! We'll be watching and waiting for you to slip up and reveal your trickery!"

The heat continues to rise, nearly hot enough to burn.

“I release you all now. Go, darling children of man, see the gifts that I have given you all, the joy that can be forever yours should you choose wisely.”

"Wakey wakey…"

And you wake up.

[gizkalord]

Initial SW Visions reviews/impressions

sw visions ranking, keep in mind i’ve only seen these once (will definitely do a second watch-through for dub/sub) and so they’re subject to change! spoilers below:

1. The Village Bride (sub) - Gorgeous music, art, and animation, and a touching, intimate story that doesn’t fall into an expository trap like a few of the others did. I am also a huge sucker for alternative force lore and religion, and this short did a wonderful job of portraying the mysticism of the force.

2. The Duel  (dub) - I started off being a little undecided at the story line, but after thinking it over, I really enjoy the reliance on pure visual storytelling rather than dialogue. The main character doesn’t say much, but his actions hint just enough at a deeper past and motivation without unraveling the romance of the ronin with no past. The art is a stand-out as well—the 3D animation is blended so masterfully with traditional ink-like art.

3. Akakiri (dub) - A pleasant surprise! I knew the least about this one going in, and until the very end i wasn’t expecting the protagonist to go full dark side, so expectations subverted lmao. I was surprised to see a lot of people didn’t like this one—I thought it was a well-paced tragedy that didn’t overstay its welcome or attempt to tackle themes that were too big for the runtime. Very creative designs and usage of strong color palettes, and the soundtrack was fantastic, especially at the climax.

4. Lop and Ochō (dub)- If only this were a miniseries/double the length and not a short, one-off episode! The themes of traditionalism vs progress and found vs blood family had so much potential but this episode just didn’t have the runtime to fit it all in, leading to some clunky dialogue and aggressively fast plot progression. But as is the case with many things SW, if i like the themes and potential it will literally give me brain worms, and this one just begs for more. Very fluid/expressive animation and the background environments are beautiful.

5. The Twins (sub) - Out of all of these, i think the twins is the most love letter-like to classic star wars, and doesn’t necessarily strive for the most substantial or original story, instead opting for bombastic visuals (which pays off!) yes i watch a lot of shonen yes the flash flash bang bang makes my brain release a lot of serotonin!!!!!!!

6. T0-B1 (dub)- I would die for this little robot boy. Yes I might have shed a tear when his master died and he decided to finish his master’s work. Very nice art, I love how some of the backgrounds are almost crayon/pastel-like, which lends to its child-like charm.

7. The Ninth Jedi (dub) - For some reason, I didn’t quite vibe with this one that much? Great animation, but the art style isn’t really anything to write home about. I did like the subversion of good vs evil appearances with the Margrave and disguised sith. I can’t really explain why this one didn’t really capture me, there’s nothing particularly wrong with it. Maybe I need to rewatch it because I see a lot people are absolutely in love with this one.

8. The Elder (dub) - I thought the story and characters were decent, but I disliked the animation to the point that it was genuinely distracting for me. The stiff character/face animation wasn’t to my taste at all and came off as very flat. Unfortunate, because I thought it was a nice, self-contained story, but the animation quality forces me to put this much lower on the list than it could be, and the story wasn’t nearly compelling enough to make up for it. The minimal use of music was a Choice that I don’t exactly agree with lol.

9. Tatooine Rhapsody (dub) - Lots of good, harmless fun and Temuera as Boba was a great treat (CROWDSURFING BOBA). This one was the weakest to me as far as emotional impact, but I had a good time watching it. What I did like was how the former padawan used his music to save his friend, rather than his Jedi skills. It’s a fresh take showing an Order 66 survivor who embraces his new non-Jedi identity and finds true purpose elsewhere.

[bookwyrminspiration]

Response to an ask from Ophelia:

Ophelia! Hello! You're not bothering me at all I love talking about Twilight so much, you're right! Also your description of your reaction to my enthusiasm is really comforting, I don't think it's weird to see

I put my twilight character rankings in order with some explanation so to save dash space I'll put it under a cut :)

Okay so I'll rank them both objectively and subjectively and start with subjective of just my personal preferences and enjoyment of the characters:

Alice: She's my special little guy. Energetic and powerful and positive and so cunning I love it. 10/10 want to be her

Emmett: Himbo bear man. He's just having a good time! So endearing and sweet and protective and just a ray of buff sunshine

Edward: He's a miserable little worm and he fascinates me. Half of what he says is a lament on his own nature and I am enraptured with his despair.

Rosalie: She's got a presence and juxtaposition with everyone I appreciate. She's bold and knows what she likes and what she wants, unafraid to speak her mind. Also hot mechanic vampire lady

Bella: Solid middle ground. I've grown attached to her seeing the series through her, but I'm not overly moved by any of her defining traits. I can appreciate her importance to others but she doesn't outright speak to me

Renesmee: Sweet little demon child. I think I'd grow to like her a lot more if there was more page time for her. She's brand new so I haven't gotten to know her as her own person yet, which is the only reason she's kinda low. Otherwise yeah she's pretty cool :)

Carlisle: This man is so so kind and I love that for him. Everything you want on terms of self control and values from a man. Another situation where I can appreciate him but he's just not what catches my interest

Jasper: I think his ability is interesting and his struggle with resisting human blood adds a nice contrast to everyone else, he's just not my kind of character. Fun to see him but I don't miss him when he's gone

Esme: I'm sorry Esme. She just doesn't stand out to me. She's motherly and concerned about everyone, but otherwise her presence feels like it fades into the background. It doesn't catch my attention.

Alice and Emmett are so special to me I love them so much. Everything to do with them is a joy and I love every moment they're on page. Also Edwards just a pathetic guy and it delights me.

As for an objective ranking, there are many different criteria I could use, but I think I'm going to go with character complexity? How rounded and explored they are? Which I admit is also a little subjective but hey

Edward: Listen. With Midnight Sun we get fully into the absolute misery and despair that is his life along with backstory. There's so much there to look through I think he takes #1 by default. We see his thoughts so clearly, even if we don't think like he does

Rosalie: I wasn't sure where to put her but her whole talk with Bella about her backstory and why she thinks Bella shouldn't become a vampire really bumped her up. We know what she thinks of herself, what she wants more than anything, and what she cares about. She wants a family and a baby and to be loved. She wants attention and is vain. She killed the people who took advantage of her in a wedding dress and refused to spill a drop of blood because she knew she'd loose control. Even if she's not on page a lot there's a lot there that I find compelling

Carlisle: He seems to be one of the most complete people in the series. We know his past and how that shaped his values, we know his beliefs and the efforts he goes to to preserve them. He feels rounded out. There's a mix of tragedy and of faith and perseverance. I think I could figure out what he'd do in a situation with high accuracy

Bella: I know everyone talks about how Bella's bland, but I'm putting her here simply because we see almost the entire story through her eyes and as such we know a lot about her. Her motives and thoughts might be boring but we know what they are and what she wants. We know who she cares about and what she's willing to do. We know her past and her future. Bland as she may be, it's there.

Alice: I'm not sure I'm totally sold on putting her here, but my reasoning is that there's just as much we don't know about her as what we do. She's positive and fashionable and bold, she takes control and her ability gives her a certain charm. But she's also pretty agreeable with Bella (they are great friends after all) so that doesn't stand out as much, even though I love her. There's also her not remembering her past, so there's gaps. She and Jasper are on about the same level for me

Jasper: We've got backstory for him and know he's not always on board with everyone else (was gonna kill Bella), but as for what he personally values it's not as explored. What does he think of things as his own person disconnected from Alice? Couldn't really tell you

Esme: We know her backstory and the tragedy of her life but it's not as prevalent in who she is. She doesn't talk about it really and seems to have mostly moved on. So there's not a whole lot going on with her (to me at least)

Emmett: I love him but he's pretty basic. Strong buff guy was killed by a bear and loves his girl. Likes sports. Endearing but there isn't as much there as with everyone else.

Renesmee: Sorry kid but you've existed for half a book and are a child. All anyone says about you is that you're sweet and lovable. Could have potential later in her life but it's not there now

That ranking took a lot more thought than the first one but I think that's about how I'd rank their complexity? Bella, Alice, and Jasper gave me some trouble so they could be switched around a bit, but my ultimate conclusion is that Edward and Rosalie are the most explored and compelling characters. Which is a little subjective but I think I also supported it with reasoning from the series so!

But yeah! Those are my rankings for the Cullens! Probably overexplained some aspects but too bad!

[millionsknives]

fma (manga & fmab) for the blorbo ask thing if no has asked u that yet!

part ii lets go!!

- blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): roy and riza like sir those are my emotional support war criminals fighting for their atonement and for their right to be justly punished for their crimes. the way everyone understands that these two people are SO in love even if the narrative never outright says it, it's undeniable and holy frick it's delicious. the devotion, the tragedy, the indebtedness, the forgiveness, the even-into-hell of it all

- scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): do not @ me but i think worm envy is very cute. that does not negate the fact that i want to put it in a jar and shake violently

- scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): major general olivier mira armstrong has me screaming flailing etc every second she’s on screen. everything she says and does is iconic and correct. remember when she stabbed that guy through the arm and buried him alive in wet cement. remember when she drove a tank up an elevator. remember when she put that guys gun to her head and said you won’t do it and oh no i just realized i very much do have a Type when it comes to characters that make me feel some type of way (fellas if there's a beautiful stern blond milf/dilf of a military commander who inspires tremendous loyalty from their men and has a sword and blue eyes and beautiful chiseled lips and tig ole biddies that's not your fave that's tumblr user rithmeres' pick-me-up-and-pin-me-to-a-wall fantasy)

- glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): winry's parents are in like 3 episodes but i have so much respect and admiration for their commitment to save lives no matter the cost, especially in the manga where the horrors of the ishval chapters aren't scaled back

- poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): i have to wonder why scar is not a more popular character and i honestly think it's because his arc makes people uncomfortable and is not the kind of thing that gets easily ‘fandomized’. narratively speaking he is probably just as important as roy and riza i think, and he has so much to offer the story in the questions that his role in the story raises. what actions are justified when atrocities have been committed? what is redemption and who 'deserves' it? how do forgiveness, atonement, and restoration factor into each other? how do we begin to understand one another as people when we have been hurt so badly? how do we move forward to end cycles of violence? and i think fandom (derogatory) will gloss over those questions because it's not happy yay fun fandom times to sit with these questions and ask yourself what it means for the real world. when scar is introduced he is blinded by hate and seconds away from killing a child who had no part in the conflict that destroyed him but when the story wraps scar is spearheading the restoration of ishval in peacetime as an activist and leader (and maybe even a priest again) and it’s a truly beautiful thing to watch him become whole again and see with eyes unclouded

- horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): yoki lmfao what a loser

- eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): bradley for executing order 66 on ishval (and also for being named king like WHO DID THAT)