#but there's nothing wrong with these traits. they're deeply human. and they're very beautiful.

[bleakbluejay]

i love you trans women. i love you fat women. i love you tall women. i love you hairy women. i love you stringbean women. i love you disabled women. i love you women covered in scars. i love you flat-chested women and endowed women alike. i love you women with only one breast or none. i love you women that are girly and women that are boyish. i love you women with strong jawlines. i love you women with hooked noses. i love you women with massive muscles. i love you women with tooth gaps. i love you women with adam's apples. i love you women with big feet or hands. i love you women with wide shoulders. i love you women. you are beautiful.

[stormblessed95]

Hi Stormblessed (dope name btw),

Don't know if this is the best place for this essay or the right time but I need to word-vomit this out, or I'm gonna be a JK-style spaced out zombie all day.

It's a truth universally acknowledged that a big part of the fandom tends to mis-characterize the members based on edits, fanfics and out-of-context clips. Something probably mostly to do with how social media platforms have been pushing for these short videos over the last few years. Why watch 300 hours of original content (some of which is behind a paywall) if you can get the gist of it (you think) from TikToks?

My particular point has to do with how that allows for the narrative (aka made up shit) especially around Jimin to grow. All of the members get that treatment, the maknaes worse due to their popularity, but due to how a big part of Army are also tkk shippers, Jimin is the one who's portrayal often skews more negative. The others' perceptions just are neutral or fantastical in a sense that they're more like badly written male leads. Don't get me wrong, solos throwing around bs is nothing singular to him but no one gets accused (said completely seriously btw) of sleeping his way into BTS or the release of his album.

After I saw this vitriol for the first time I had to actually sit down because wtf.

And then I started wondering why that is, and came to the conclusion that it is:

(Internalized) misogyny and sexism

Blatant homophobia

Jimin is the member the most obviously in tune of his femininity. He hasn't subscribed to gender norms for a decade at least, and once his hyper-masculine-esque persona from the debut days was dismissed, he ventured further. (That isn't to dismiss the growth they all have shown in that area.)

But antis, akgaes, Solos and shippers take that femininity and apply every stereotype and misogynistic idea to JM.

Traits they f.e. hate:

He is openly flirty with many people (members especially)

He is very physical, and touch is arguably one of his love languages and go-to way of comforting smn

He is pretty af and knows it

He's sensual and sexy and knows it

He's cute

He's sweet (aka a good fucking human)

But why does that make "them" hate him so much?

Because they have been taught that these traits in women (like themselves) are bad. What makes it worse, however, is that the men around JM all know these things to be true, acknowledge them as true and compliment him on them. In the case of JK (since this is about Jikook at the end of the day):

He loves flirty JM despite sometimes not knowing how to handle him (ehem the 'shameless convo'). He flirts back (fe the whole live where he was in bed begging for JM to come over)

Tkkers and such love pulling the "JK hates it" card. Which is nonsense, considering how he seeks JM's comfort when he's down (esp during concerts), actively cuddles JM (In The Soop) and never uses all his big muscles to shove JM but rather to just carry him around. Compare that to the jokingly disgusted face Yoongi pulls when Tae tries to hold his hand, and it becomes glaringly obvious that no one who says the members dislike touching each other has a leg to stand on. Calling it harassment goes so far beyond any line of sanity...

JK - like all of BTS - acknowledges that Jimin's beauty is simply out of this world. They are regularly stunned by his appearance

Just gonna point to JK's reaction to Filter, Blood Sweat & Tears, Black Swan, and Set Me Free pt 2 here. JK calls JM sexy so often it's hilarious

* inserts clip of absolutely WHIPPED JK after JM cutely punches him during that performance of Boy With Luv *. Also we know that "cute" his JK's type as he himself admitted.

Jimin has been Jungkook's comfort person for so long, and with such depth that he dedicated a whole trip and video to him. They care for each other so deeply that the only logical conclusion was to go to the military together.

Aka: he is all that they hate in the girls/women in their normal life so they can't do nothing but tear him down. They envy how comfortable he seems in his own skin, how easily he goes from sexy to cute, how loved he is by those around him. On top of that is how gay people are still perceived and treated by a lot of countries around the world. No matter what they say, being an army and shipping men doesn't make you automatically an ally and non-homophobic.

They treat Jimin like they would most likely treat the lgtbqia+ people in real life: something to be careful of, someone dishonest and slutty.

They conflate everything they hate about themselves and gay people and * boom * out come frankly terrifying tweets, fanfics and shit.

Contrast that with how these very same people fetishize the relationship between Tae and Jungkook - either viewing them like men who watch p_rn involving two women, or a self-insert with how little character they have - and that's the state of the army shipping community. They could be Barbie dolls getting smashed together and you wouldn't know the difference.

I'm not saying Jikookers are better in that, but the language they tend to use is incredibly different.

---

That was a lot.

To end on a sweet note: I saw a quote on Twitter "If you want to find out what someone fears losing, look at what they photograph."

And...well. that just screams Jikook

Hi! Thank you, I like my name too 🥰

And yeah, basically I agree. I think there is more to it as well, but that a lot of it could be boiled down to all this. And yeah, jikookers are just as guilty of this too, but not always in the same way. Sometimes in a way that is more fetishizing but is just as harmful. Take it from someone who has seen it all in my inbox from people who feel safe on anon 😂😂

Thanks for sharing! And your quote at the end is SOOOOO cute!

[nctquiteshakespeare]

duchess bonfamille is a 43 year old human based on duchess from the aristocats. she is a vocal coach with no powers. she uses she/her pronouns, and most of her memories are intact !

INFO.

full name: duchess bonfamille

date of birth: september 24th, 1980

hometown: to be added

zodic: libra sun, aries moon, virgo rising

sexuality: hetero (as far as she knows)

education: college graduate

occupation: vocal coach

height: 5'1

hair: blonde

eye color: blue

tattoos/piercings: earlobes

markings: dimples when she smiles

mother: adelaide bonfamille (adopted)

father: unknown

siblings: n/a

pets: n/a

PERSONALITY.

positive traits: classy, compassionate, protective, kind, secure

negative traits: stern, stubborn, overbearing, reserved, excessive

fears: losing her mother, failing her children

likes: white wine, cheese and grapes, cleanliness, expensive perfume, art, music, dancing, singing, everything paris, jewelry

dislikes: her house being dirty, crass language, her children hurting, fighting, being doubted, being away from her mother, an empty nest

hobbies: playing piano, singing, caring for her plants, cleaning, shopping

aesthetics: pearl necklaces on a spotless dresser, lipstick stains on wine glasses, a claw tub overflowing with bubbles, golden edged mirrors, humming to succulents, pristine white sheets, a wedding ring stashed in the bottom drawer, dangling earrings, long blonde locks without a hair out of place, the first glimpse of sunlight slipping through the window, an elegant breakfast spread, photobooks of memories, that lonely dull ache in your chest that refuses to go away, silent crying behind closed doors

HEADCANONS.

duchess is someone that tries very hard to seem put together when, in reality, she only feels like she is falling apart.

though she holds her head high, duchess often feels like she failed as a mother, a wife and a daughter. despite knowing there was nothing she could do to get back to her own mother, she misses her deeply. she is the only family she's ever known outside of her kids, never caring to reach out to her birth parents as she had everything she needed in ms. bonfamille and now, after so many years of having her in her corner, rooting her on, she feels almost completely... lost without her. she knows who she is, but does find herself doubting it from time to time.

she loves the idea of falling in love, especially now that marie, berlioz and toulouse have their own lives she's not nearly as involved in, but the idea of love is a little frightening. after her only real relationship fell apart, she's not sure she could put herself through that again. though she knows she is a beautiful woman, her lack of suitors does make her question it - maybe she is just meant to stay single?

her children are her pride and joy and she would do anything for them. she would lay her life on the line. she knows that there were times she coddled them too much, and others that she was too strict, trying to mold them into the perfect versions of themselves they could be... but all she ever wanted was for them to be happy. now that they're out of the nest, now that they're getting through life without her protection, she looks at everything they seem to struggle with and wonders where she went wrong, what she could have done to build their walls a little taller... and what more she can do now, than love them.

she is fluent in french, of course, and truly believes it is the language of love. she enjoys slipping random phrases into her sentences, even if the people around her simply do not understand what she's saying.

mother to everyone that will let her mother them. she will take everyone under her wing, no matter their age.

breakfast is duchess' favorite meal of the day! but brunch is a close second.

she very much has a taste for the finer things in life, it was simply the way she was raised.

while she doesn't miss her ex-husband anymore and knows that their lives were much better off without him, sometimes she still regrets not trying harder, begging him to stay, if only so her children would have their father.

she has a green thumb and cares about her many plants as if they're her own little pets. now that her children don't seem to need her as much anymore, and she isn't able to take care of her mother, she has to have something to look after. otherwise, after so long of doing it, she would just be... lost.

she also grows her own spices - thyme, oregano, basil, and uses them in nearly every meal that she makes.

she is a nervous cleaner. when she starts feeling anxious, out come the soap and sponges. she'll sweep, dust, mop, reorganize everything from the cabinets down to the bottoms of the walls. as if her place doesn't remain practically spotless at all times anyway.

seldom do swear words pass through her lips. she doesn't believe in using crude language.

while she isn't much of a drinker, she absolutely indulges in wine from time to time. it's the perfect way to unwind after a stressful day: a nice, hot bubble bath with a romance novel and a tall glass of whichever white wine is calling out to her tastebuds at the time... though merlot will do if it must.

a small plate of grapes, dark chocolate and cheese cubes is her favorite snack.

pearls are her favorite accessory, and gold over silver jewelry.

a morning person through and through, duchess is usually wide-eyed and bushy tailed by six am but she cannot seem to sleep past eight even if she tries, no matter how late she was up the night before.

[jackoshadows]

Do you agree with the idea that GRRM wrote the "traditionally feminine" girls (Sansa, Catelyn, Dany, Arianne) as "more flawed" than the warrior girls (Arya, Brienne, asha)? Basically, this person said that Sansa makes actual mistakes that hurt people but Arya and Brienne do nothing wrong and don't make mistakes that hurt people around them, so they're bad characters. What do you think? do you agree that Brienne and Arya are lesser than the superior Sansa because Sansa has flaws unlike the flawless Arya?

Honestly, I think that Sansa, Catelyn, Dany, Arianne, Arya, Brienne, Asha etc. are all very different, flawed characters in their own way. I don't think you can put them into these boxes like you have done.

For ex. Arya is also traditionally feminine and partakes in traditionally feminine activities like cooking, cleaning, picking flowers, gossiping in the kitchens, playing with babies, taking care of those younger than her etc. She is not a 'warrior'. Brienne can also be nurturing. Dany can hold her own as a military leader on par with any of the men on her council or army.

For example, I think that Arya and Dany have more in common than Sansa and Dany despite Sansa and Dany being grouped together as being 'traditionally feminine' and therefore more flawed.

Asha and Brienne are warriors, and yet very different in terms of personality, personal ethics and story arcs.

I think GRRM has many different kinds of female characters and has not written his 'traditionally feminine' characters to be more flawed or anything like that.

In fact, Catelyn Stark is my favorite female character in the series. She's just so human and real. She's unique in fantasy. She's a mother. She's a leader. She's a councillor and adviser. She's intelligent. Makes human mistakes. Gives into emotions. She's jealous, she's proud, she loves deeply, she's angry and bitter. She embodies the House Tully words of 'Family, duty and honor'. Family comes first, above all.

I had already mentioned this in another post, but maybe Jon Snow and Catelyn Stark having a lot in common despite hating each other is the reason for why I love both characters. They are both loyal to a fault and would do anything if they love deeply enough. Catelyn releasing Jaime Lannister for her daughters, Jon breaking his sworn oaths for Arya.

Arianne Martell is smart and ambitious. She knows what she is capable of, what she deserves and will work to see that she gets it. Dany is powerful, smart and ambitious. Is she flawed? Yes, just like all leaders and because all leaders are human and humans make mistakes. Margaery Tyrell is calculating, manipulative and knows well how to play the game.

As for Sansa and Arya - well, these two characters were deliberately written that way because Sansa was created as a literary foil for Arya, to highlight Arya's personality and characterization. That's what literary foils are meant to do and that's why Sansa came about as the complete opposite. So while Arya mingles with the small folk and befriends them, Sansa is snobby and looks down on the small folk with derision. While Sansa is vain and self-centered, Arya has self-esteem issues and thinks she is ugly due to being mocked and bullied over her appearance.

I do think that GRRM went a bit too far with Sansa in the first book. I get why he did it - The Starks were getting along too much and families are not like that and she’s there to create confict. But still, it feels like Sansa is living in a separate reality compared to the rest of the Starks. There’s being naive and then there is Sansa. 

This is a girl who grew up in the harsh North where she would heard stories of her aunt being kidnapped and raped to death by prince Rhaegar. This is a world in which 10 year olds become Lord Commanders and Ned is taking his 7 year old to beheadings and wants his toddler to play with a direwolf because 'Winter is coming'. Sansa’s naivety is incomprehensible in our modern world let alone the medieval setting of Westeros.

For ex. Sansa tattling all of Ned's plans to Cersei after Cersei ordered her pet wolf killed! Like which child would trust, let alone like, an adult who has their pet puppy killed?! Or when she sees Joffrey sadistically mutilate another child and try to harm her sister and still thinks of him as her sweet, beautiful prince. Like, how? I get what GRRM was trying to do with the character, but IMO it was a bit extreme and the character came off as his version of the cliche 'dumb, blonde' stereotype that I dislike so much.

I also find disloyalty to be an unattractive trait, and the fact that Sansa keeps throwing her family under the bus again and again and again in the first book, is what prevents me from being interested in her as a character. Not because she's traditionally feminine or is a girly girl - like her fans want everyone to think as they deliberately misconstrue any criticism of the character and equate it to misogynistic hate. In this, Sansa is the total opposite of Catelyn who lives and breathes family loyalty.

Anyways, I do hope that Sansa eventually gets smarter, is able to connect the dots with all the information she currently has, outwits and outplays Littlefinger at his own game and avenges house Stark for everything he did to her and her family.