#but there'll def be a PHASE where shes like....no i dont trust him enough for ALL that

[billysgirllol]

"why's it gotta happen at all? why can't the two people in the relationship wait on it to happen." lucy gray wonders, not realizing she sounds a little naive on how strong emotions work and how compatibility is important to most people. to her, when she thinks about it, if she really finds herself smitten for someone... it won't bother her how they work in a bedroom. eyes trailing off... well, she doesn't think. that wouldn't matter? right? or would it? a world of confusion blinds her trying to decide. "i do think they abuse god's word. take his word and use it to their awful advantage. but this isn't about those perverts. this is about how men are supposed to wait too, not just the girls of the human race. this is about how some people just find it more special, not rushin' into things. to some... it just sounds more special and beautiful to promise each other to love each other for life before sharin' their bodies. since that seems to be god's opinion." she points out. "what do you mean a good time?" she felt like she might puke her cheeks were burning so viciously, "a good time's watching a band play or going to a party. sharin' yourself with someone is much more serious than that. you just can't trust people like that, be so reckless. unless it just doesn't bother you i guess. but personally, for me, i have to know i can really trust them and that they really mean it when they say they love me." she definitely takes it serious, it's not just something to do recklessly for a good time in her mind. she'd feel like she'd been violated, if she decided to love someone and they left her. let alone expose herself and let them have her in such a vulnerable way. it's a terrible disgusting feeling thinking of it... there might be something wrong with her, she thinks. since apparently it didn't play on everybody's mind like that, like it did hers. "well, it starts with babies primarily. then the other thing secondly. both still are reserved for after marriage, though."

"okay, well that's true. but if you really won't hurt me then we can compete by bein' the best of friends. we'll make the horses and rabbits so jealous, they'll wanna be us." she decides with a giddy smile, since that's what she wanted and still wants to be reassured of... that he won't hurt her. and being told that, well that just strikes a nerve. even if he ends up not even meaning it... being told she won't be hurt by someone made her heart pang before causing emotions to well in the barrels of her honey eyes. she wasn't crying yet, but something of the way he said it made her eyes prick with tears. "gosh, that oil definitely leaves an itchy smell." blaming the oil and cloth being so close to her eyes, she thinks that could be a reasonable excuse in case it looks noticeable that lucy gray now worries about. then he puts the cloth down and closes his eyes which helps. the brunette stays quiet, smearing in lotion with both hands, rubbing it into both of his cheeks softly and then over his chin and forehead– brushing these dark little locks away so the lotion doesn't stick to his fresh clean hair. "i can't help but think you're a little crazy, thinkin' someone got me all in a matter of a minute or two?" she didn't know what he had to be paranoid like that before, because she's never lived a day in his shoes. "but..." as much as that CONFUSED her, brows knitting, "it's sweet. so thank you, for comin' to my rescue." she sheepishly laughed as features softened, truly not understanding his level of paranoia like that. but appreciative. smoothing lotion down his neck with little pats then taking his left hand, rubbing in a small spots of lotion into his skin there too then picking up his right hand, doing the same again. "both are good wishes," she corrects gently, wellbeing of her loved ones and these little things like a picnic and a necklace. "well, maude ivory usually makes it a fun day for me. it used to be my mama, but now it's maude ivory who usually brings me over a pastry and we go to the lake to play all day."

“i’m  not  sayin’  it  should  happen  with  just  anyone,”  the  dark-haired  man  counters,  a  small,  amused  smile  dancing  on  his  lips  as  he  thoroughly  enjoys  their  insightful  conversation.  jesse  has  once  told  him  that  women  aren’t  good  for  many  things,  especially  not  for  substantive  disputes,  which  billy,  of  course,  wholeheartedly  disagrees  with.  he  wishes  the  other  man  could  hear  them  now,  see  how  intelligent  lucy  gray  is  and  choke  on  those  words.  “but  if  it  happens  with  the  right  person  before  marriage,  why  would  it  make  anyone  feel  insecure?”  he  wonders  out  loud,  eager  to  hear  what  else  is  on  her  mind  when  it  comes  to  this  subject.  alice  had  a  very  different  approach,  taught  him  life’s  too  short  to  turn  down  small  pleasures.  “don’t  you  think  it  might  have  something  to  do  with  how  men  are  inherently  possessive  and  controlling,  and  so  they  feed  young  girls  these  ideas  of  purity  to  have  more  power  over  them?”  he  raises  an  eyebrow,  doubting  it  has  anything  to  do  with  proving  they  aren’t  being  used  for  their  bodies.  “quite  the  opposite,  actually…  i  do  think  marriage  is  beautiful  and  special,”  and  he’d  like  to  be  lucky  enough  to  find  someone  to  share  this  experience  with  one  day,  “but  i  don’t  believe  refraining  from  havin’  a  good  time  makes  this  union  more�� sacred.”  after  all,  how  are  two  people  supposed  to  know  they  belong  together  for  an  eternity  without  making  love  beforehand?  “maybe  it  was  originally  designed  for  both?”  pleasure  and  babies.  though,  now  that  he  thinks  about  it,  he  doubts  other  species  make  love  for  pleasure…  or  do  they?  he  doesn’t  want  to  dwell  on  it  and  risk  blushing  furiously  again.

“lucky  them.  how  can  one  not  be  jealous  of  a  bond  so  special?”  he  muses  with  a  soft  laugh,  wrinkling  his  nose  as  her  fingertips,  coated  in  the  cool  lotion,  land  on  his  warm  cheek.  “lucy  gray,”  he  briefly  closes  his  eyes,  staying  as  still  as  possible  and  letting  her  work  miracles  on  his  sun-burned  skin.  god,  does  it  feel  amazing,  even  if  it  tickles  a  bit,  “i  hope  you  know  i’d  never  hurt  you,  not  purposely.  i’m  not  that  kind  of  man.  and  i’ll  always  help  you  out.”  however  he  can,  whether  it’s  with  chores  or  by  offering  words  of  reassurance  or  by  comforting  her.  he’s  somewhat  relieved  to  hear  her  excuse  his  behavior  and  so  he  offers  her  another  smile,  sensing  she’s  not  one  to  hold  grudges.  “you  don’t  know  why  i  was  holdin’  that  lamp?”  he  repeats,  his  ocean  hues  staring  at  her  once  more.  “many  things  can  happen.  i  mean,  it’s  just  the  two  of  us  in  this  house,  right?”  does  the  preacher  leave  her  all  alone  like  this  often?  what  if  someone  knows  that?  what  if  someone’s  been  watching  the  house  for  a  while  and  saw  her  father  leave?  men  can  be  vile  and  evil,  capable  of  indescribable  things.  “and  i  kept  calling  your  name,  but  you  weren’t  responding.  i  assumed  something  terrible  must  have  happened  to  you,  thought  someone  must  have  broken  in  and  grabbed  you,  and  i  forgot  about  that  gun  under  your  pillow  and  well…  i’d  been  meaning  to  use  that  lamp  as  a  weapon.”  against  that  imaginary  captor  of  hers.  his  features  flush  all  at  once.  he  feels  silly  elaborating  on  his  paranoia  now,  but  thinks  he  owes  her  a  detailed  explanation.  “now  that’s  a  nice  wish.”  a  necklace  or  a  picnic.  he’ll  find  a  way  to  give  her  both.  “how  do  you  usually  celebrate  your  birthday?”  he  inquires,  lowering  the  towel  once  there’s  no  more  smudges  on  her  face.