#but there is no soul on the internet i trust with a nuanced take 100% of the time sorry

[elytrafemme]

trying to write a post about how people’s misunderstandings of the patriarchy on this site lead directly into misogyny, lesbophobia, racism, and transphobia through very different pathways but getting blocked off by The Horrors (having a mental health disorder that makes me feel constantly irrational for my emotions and never confident in any of my beliefs)

[albatrossmuffin]

Birthday Story: Nao

Translation of Birthday Story: Nao can be found...right here for once lol:

So this is the temporary home of Nao’s story until pillowfort gets its shit together; once they let me post there again I’ll post this there with the scans and stuff as usual (sorry I still don’t trust tumblr not to mark me mature content lol); at that time I’ll reblog this with the updated link here. 

Pillowfort has returned! Here’s the proper post.

In the meantime, I strongly suggest reading Natsuya’s first here, as they are directly related.

[Please forgive the weird spacing and nonsensical verb tense changing, it does that and I wanted you to feel my pain enjoy it as...intended? lol]

Birthday Story #04 Nao

In a gap in the clouds, I saw a rainbow in the clear blue sky. A seven-colored arch that stretches lengthwise. I feel like something good is going to happen today.

This year, practical training and assignments have increased, and the hectic days continue. On the other hand, I was able to once again meet Makoto and the others, who have come to Tokyo, so there is also a pleasant sensation.

Today I’ve been invited by Ikuya to Natsuya’s birthday party.  Very fidgety messages such as “Not yet?”, “Where are you now?” arrived from the starring player. Jeez, even though I’m sure I had told him that ‘today I’d be late because of a lecture, so I want you to start without me’. However, mysteriously I don’t feel displeased. Rather, I even feel relieved at the same-as-always Natsuya. By the time I realize, I’m caught up in Natsuya’s pace.

Come to think of it, next week I’ll have a birthday as well. Suddenly, I remembered Natsuya from around high school age.

“Rather, why don’t we celebrate our birthdays together? You see, these things are more fun when they’re lively, right!” 

In the end, the “joint birthday party” at that time did not happen. I too had passed it off as one of his funny stories. As for why I remembered a story from when we were in high school at this time, even I don’t know.     

Strength flows into the hand on the door of the building where Natsuya and the others are waiting. Now, with what kind of expression is the starring player that loves festivals awaiting with? 

“Happy birthday, Nao!” 

“Happy birthday, Nao-senpai!” 

Natsuya and Ikuya, and Hiyori’s smiles are lined up. I was involuntarily taken aback. That Natsuya, did he remember that time? 

“Why, what a surprise.” 

Murmuring that was all I could manage. Natsuya seemed dissatisfied with my reaction, and he protested with a snort of hmph. Ikuya and Hiyori are laughing happily. I pulled myself together and told them, “thanks.” 

The inside of the room was neatly divided into a space for celebrating Natsuya, and a space that appeared to be prepared for celebrating me. I discover a small aquaterrarium. It’s an item about which I had muttered, Should I buy it?, when I had gone shopping with Natsuya over a year ago.  Had he gone out of his way to buy it? I’m surprised by Natsuya’s memory and ability to take action. Even though he is this quick-thinking, why is he so clumsy, I wonder? 

In front of me, Natsuya and Ikuya are fighting about something like Natsuya ate the cake before he blew out the candles on it. I almost burst into laughter unconsciously. 

I talked with Haruka, Makoto, and Asahi, who had come earlier, about what’s going on in each other’s lives. Next to them were the students, which Makoto had brought along. 

“Coach Serizawa, happy birthday!” 

Saying that, Misaki-kun handed me a flower that he was holding with great care. Meeting his eye level, I accept it. Apparently he’d heard about today from Makoto, and had stopped by on his way home from the swimming club. 

“Thanks. I’ll come to see practice again.” 

“Okay, I’ll be able to swim much much faster than I can now!” 

I feel the growth in Misaki-kun, who smiles dependably, and in Makoto, who supports it, and my chest warms. This is why I can’t stop swimming. 

I heard about recent matches from Haruka and Asahi, and we discussed them including reflection. I keenly felt from the two of them the strength of their competitive spirit. The leopard can’t change…you know the rest.* I remembered when I was in middle school and grew nostalgic.

Even while enjoying the party, I was a little concerned if Natsuya was drinking too much. I thought I’d lightly chastise Natsuya who had, sure enough, begun to drowsily nod off, but I stopped myself. I’ll overlook it for today. Because it’s our first joint birthday party, after all. 

On the way home I lent Natsuya my shoulder. Natsuya’s body is quite heavier than it looks. Did he gain muscle again, I wonder? I’ve heard that inspired by Ikuya, the amount he’s practicing is increasing, too. 

Arriving at the station, when we were sitting on the platform bench, Natsuya murmured: 

“……Did you find out about it? I mean, the surprise……” 

If it was the usual, I probably would have replied with “I see right through a thing that Natsuya is likely to do.” 

However, at that time I just vaguely replied with “I wonder?”. I sensed that I was feeling a little peaceful. Surely, it was because of the gentle night breeze. 

I hear the sound of fireworks going up in the distance. 

Next year where will I, and Natsuya, be I wonder? It’s strange; because as I think such a thing, the sound of the fireworks, which should be stirring, sounds like a lonely sound in some way. With or without knowledge of my feelings, Natsuya suddenly laughed powerfully. 

“Next year I’ll surprise you even more.” 

“Okay. I’m counting on you*.” 

Natsuya surely doesn’t know that I have been saved by this smile. 

What will he surprise me with next, I wonder? I’ll secretly look forward to it.

 Notes:

“the leopard” – Japanese proverb time! Literally it says something like “the soul of a child of three (is the same) at 100,” meaning that the personality you have when you’re young doesn’t change even when you get older. The leopard can’t change its spots is the most recognizable translation option I found, so I went with that one. Also, he doesn’t say the entire proverb and cuts it off at the end, which is (according to the internet) a thing a lot of Japanese people do as a kind of nuance of both respecting that the person obviously knows the rest, and kind of avoiding showing off or being offensive by saying the entire thing. An interesting tie in to the subtlety of the linguistic culture I’d never heard before (like how people don’t say no directly).

“counting on” – this is one of the ways to translate this phrase but I don’t feel like it gives the full meaning so I must add lol; it has the nuance of “I’m expecting good things/I’m anticipating [it],” but in English I can’t have Nao say ‘I’m expecting great things of you/I’m anticipating you do this’ here without sounding like an asshole lololol