#but there are also whole modules missing i.e. the math stuff
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#me this morning and through out the day: i'm gonna make time to write and plays Hades and text my cousin cause i keep putting all that off#anyone want to hazard a guess how many of those i accomplished today?#i'll give you a hint#it's less than one#it is not 1 AM and I didn't do a goddamn thing today#ok tbf i did dishes this morning#and i did finally do research to refresh my memory on some terms i'll need for school#still anxious as fuck cause flipping through my binder from the last course i did#I remember exactly none of it#like it might as well be another language cause i don't remember shit#and i already barely passed that year#my bil keeps claiming that the first three years are nearly identical and it's just a repeat of first year#but like??? It's been 9 years since i did first year. i barely passed back then and now I get to do it with memory problems#like even the terms i was looking up tonight i read the same sentence like six times and it still didn't stick#i'm gonna need a huge ass binder just for notes and diagrams of all the shit that doesn't stick in my brain#and hope to hell that maybe by the time we get to doing tests that SOMETHING has stuck#also comparing my first year binder to the binder i received for this year is both somewhat reassuring and also terrifying#cause like my bil said it is fairly similar to first year#there's some minor differences in the modules where maybe a page or two is missing which i assume is cause they've revised the course#but there are also whole modules missing i.e. the math stuff#but i know they're still going to test on math stuff. i'm terrible at math stuff.#and if they test on something they're not actually going to teach on this year i'm fucked#i guess i grab my first year math modules and try to make sense of it??? i have no confidence in myself though#i'm so frustrated at my brain#and it's coming up so soon#like exactly a week from now i'll be in dorm and going to the shop class in the morning#its so soon#i'm freaking out yo
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