#but there always. always. always. comes a time when the free tier isn't good enough anymore

[dreamcatcher-roulette]

Can I admit to something? Is this a K-pop safe space? It's not drama it's just deeply personally embarrassing.

So there’s two halves to this. The relevance of both might become apparent some time before I finish rambling and get to the point but bear with me. I'm desperately trying to justify my situation.

Firstly. I'm a girl group fan. Dreamcatcher are easily and effortlessly in a tier of their own but I do enjoy and even keep up some other girl groups rather attentively. The obvious follow up question here is well, what about boy groups? Here is a collection of excuses I have previously attempted to offer up in my own defence:

Musically, I like bass and I like high notes. This kind of lends itself to prefering female vocalists, but, as I may have mentioned before, I'm not actually into K-pop that much for the music (Dreamcatcher just happen to also make the music that fits my taste perfectly on top of having the best aesthetics).

Boy group fashion kind of blows. I mean, I have high and somewhat unrealistic expectations for any stage outfits due to the standard Dreamcatcher set, but Jesus Christ the baggy pants epidemic amongst boy groups is something else. Mens fashion can be fun. I think it frequently isn't for the stages I have seen though.

The boy group hair meta also kinda blows. I'm perfectly capable of realising when something just isn't catered to me (and may well have cultural context that's flying directly over my head) and the bowl cut adjacent curtains look that's almost a default hairstyle is one of those things. Just cannot get behind it. Sorry to all the enjoyers.

And now, even though there is truth in all of those excuses, here's the actual reason why I'm making such broad, sweeping statements about an extremely diverse subgroup of artists:

K-pop is an industry that loves to feed on parasocial relationships, and I am gay in the direction that makes me immune to girlfriend fanservice but really fucking succeptible to the right boyfriend fanservice. So long as I keep pretending every boy group sucks I am safe. If I get sucked into one of them it will probably just straight up ruin my life.

Okay. Secondly. Many years ago when I was still in high school my neighbour got really into K-pop. She was a big fan of EXO, and then, this new up and coming group called BTS (anyone heard of them?) She tried, unsuccessfully, to get me to share her passion multiple times. Of the videos she showed me, these are the ones that made an impact:

LEDApple - Time is up

SHINee - Ring Ding Dong

BIGBANG - Fantastic Baby

I liked them enough to watch them on my own a few times, but that was the end of it, until in 2020 I got recommended Scream on YouTube and the rest is history. However, one of the things that amused me getting into K-pop myself was realising 2/3 of those songs reached somewhat legendary status in the time since. Even being a GG fan news from the "other side" certainly still flies across the river, sometimes with recognition, e.g. G-Dragon's semi recent drug "scandal". I remember seeing those articles and thinking huh. Wild. That's what he looks like now. It is at this point I would like you to imagine a bullet narrowly missing my head as I'm looking the other way.

On to the present. I watched MAMA 2024 live nearly 2 months ago. I like the end of year shows. My only complaint is they should invite Dreamcatcher lmao (thank you AAA 2023 that performance still lives rent free in my head) but overall, great fun. Now I must confess, for the aforementioned reasons, I always* mute boy group performances when watching shows live. Happy to critique the fashion, don't want the songs stuck in my head, which is an inevitable outcome of listening to music whether you like it or not (and I'm well aware some of it is probably good).

*Technically I have one exception in either direction, but both are irrelevant to the point.

As you may be aware, G-Dragon performed at MAMA. Everyone seemed pretty hyped. Normally this would have been a mute for me but well, momentous occasion isn't it. The king of K-pop is back. Might as well get the full experience. And it was good! I'm not exactly a fan but I did have enough nostalgia for fantastic baby to appreciate the bigbang stage, and watching all the idols freak out was so adorable. I want you to imagine three more bullets narrowly missing me while I'm looking at the aespa reaction shot.

Like, you're probably aware of where this is heading, right? But it wasn't even the stage. AFTER the stage they still had to give him the award they made up for him being there. And man. Okay. All the actual real life crushes I've had on men that I knew started out having very little if anything to do with their appearance. I'm ace so maybe that changes it but also I don't think that's exclusively it because I'm not the only person I've ever heard say that people you are attracted to become more attractive in some kind of self enforcing feedback loop. Thats why the K-pop content vortex is so brutal because as soon as you're in the variety content rabbit hole suddenly you don't just have some guy who is pretty you have some guy who is funny or thoughtful or he likes all of your favourite movies and you start feeling like you know him, even though you don't. I know that the force of that connection if you let it happen easily overpowers the baggy clothes and the shitty haircut and every other flimsy excuse but given only a muted performance stream or occasional acceptance speech there is not enough room for that personality to break through. I can watch Dreamcatcher accept an award and I see them because I've watched hundreds of hours of vlogs at this point but groups I don't know are just that. Groups I don't know.

Yeah. So about that music visionary of the year.

Holy shit man. I've never seen anyone get up and accept an award with such fucking weird and awkward vibes. I think I was gone from the moment he reached the podium. I said to the friend I was watching the stream with hey. I think maybe I should turn this one off actually. And she said no :) Because she is evil. You know how sometimes a single event can recontextualise over a decade of vaguely knowing about someone's existence? Head in my hands. Of all people. G-Dragon is really fucking attractive. Which is like. In twenty twenty four? Really? Profoundly humiliating discovery. What am I even supposed to do with this one? It's literally G-Dragon. I know there are discourse minefields the likes of which I cannot even fathom wading into this and what am I anyway? A fan? I don't think so. I saw one singular awards show and went holy shit why is G-Dragon the hottest K-pop man by actually one hundred thousand miles and then I just had to go to work again the next morning and be normal. And the thing is that I was not even remotely normal because I then decided to dye my hair bright red the following week which to be fair I have always wanted to do but well it's not UNrelated to the current crisis is it. I'm just. Existing. Really thought maybe it would wear off by now but WELL. It has not.

[rex101111]

Guilty Gear Dual Rulers episode 4 thoughts:

-okay so this was a super exposition heavy chapter so not much to say honestly but here goes.

-PARADOX APPEARNCE! OVERTURE ACKNOWLEDGED! NOT A DRILL NOT A DRILL! seriously though its really neat to see him, as well as a reminder that when push comes to shove he is ready to shove as hard as possible. He is on the side of Gears. No nuance about it. He knows humans will likely always be suspicious of his race so he's always ready to go "fuck it sure let's fight you ape come and fucking get some".

-Relatedly i forgot to talk about it but. yeah Command Gear Sin, huh? Dizzy I think did know, eventually at least, that she could do that, but being who she is, loving peace and free will, she'd probably never ever use that power because bending someone against their will is something she can't even contemplate. Sin only did that because he was bleeding, tired, and desperate beyond belief. And the first thing he does when he wakes up is regret having done it at all.

-Him displaying Command abilities at all being a possible lit match for war makes sense. If the world at large, only a decade or so removed from Justice, finds out that there's another Gear that could do the same thing, most people aren't going to wait long enough to get to know the gear to know if they would do it or not. They'd just hunt them down and be done with it, killing any Gear on the way.

-RAM AND EL! POWER SISTERS! DO THEY DO ANYTHING!? EL ISN'T DEAD! otherwise no not really so moving on.

-okay so the scene with Unika and Bridget really is as good as people said. Genuinely moving and beautiful and heartfelt. Its the sort of philosophical talk Strive kept trying to have but kept failing because it always felt like you walked in on a college professor mid lecture.

Not with Bridget. She's not trying to teach Unika anything, she just sees someone who's a bit lost in a way she recognizes, and decides that she might be able to help if she just...talks. Talks honestly and genuinely for a second, just being a person who cares for a couple minutes. This is "when's the last time you had a conversation" tier scene for me. And those who have followed me long enough know how high praise that is.

anyway next episode tomorrow, half way there~~

[crehador]

wondering what's your go to play song in ARB for farming? Cause isn't Yokohama Walker hard???

ooh okay good question! hopefully i can provide a helpful answer but bear in mind i have been neglecting arb for ummm a few months (lol) so if any new tracks that are better for farming came out in that time, i might not know about them yet

also sorry in advance this is going to be long and rambly lol

i'll include a tl;dr at the start:

yokohama walker remix part a is great for farming and specifically tiering because it's lv27 and it's short, the difficulty doesn't matter too much if you're using auto tickets, and even if you're doing it manual i feel like it becomes pretty easy to full combo after some practice but for manual i also do nausa de zuiqu part c (lv26) sometimes because when you're farming a track hundreds of times, you really need it to be something you won't get sick of hearing lmao

ok now onto the long rambly bit (this is a lot of unnecessary, unhinged information that you don't really need to read lol)

so i don't actually farm every event, if the free card is ichiro or samatoki, i'll farm until i get all copies to max their leader skill. if it's anyone else, i pretty much just do the bingo missions only

(though the bingo missions changed a while back... i think? i haven't really done them since the change, i feel like they got harder to farm than the old ones orz)

for cards i want to farm i pretty much use the 5 free daily auto tickets for 5 runs at 10x rise, and that gives me a nice chunk of currency to buy tickets for the box gacha. if i need more (depending on how poorly the box gacha goes lmao) i'll pretty much play whatever i feel like, as long as it's giving me a decent amount of points

the only times i farm seriously are when i'm trying to tier (which i only do for events that both samatoki and ichiro are in), and that's where yokohama walker remix part a comes in

it's lv27 so the points are good but more important it is extremely short. i don't know if it's the shortest track in the game, but it's gotta be close. which means i can do more runs of it than if i was doing a longer track

the difficulty doesn't matter too much because when i'm trying to tier, i'm generally using up all the auto tickets i save. but once i run out (and i always run out lol) i'll manual it (there's another reason for going manual which i'll get into)

once i'm out of auto tickets, i'll do either yokohama walker remix part a or nausa part c

both of these i can full combo pretty easily and consistently at this point, like yokohama walker remix part a isn't easy when you first start playing it, but after you've done it dozens of times, i feel like you get used to the beat map and it becomes a breeze

another reason i choose these two in particular is i'm doing these hundreds of times in an event if i'm tiering, so it's got to be something i won't ever get tired of no matter how many times i play the track lol

the fact that yokohama walker remix part a is very short is also critically important to me, because when i try to tier, i'm not aiming to climb as high as possible, i'm aiming for a specific rank (either 31 the samaichi number or 13 the ichisama number)

i've actually only tried to tier twice ever (once in the hot springs event with ichiro, samatoki, and jakurai, once in the high school au with ichiro, samatoki, and saburo) and the first time i hit 13 pretty easily. that high up, the point gaps are wide enough that you can comfortably target the number you want

(it was still basically constant grinding and checking the rankings day to night lol but like, there was a wide enough point gap between 13 and 14 that i could rest easy once the event was almost over)

after i hit 13, i tried to get 31 for the next one, which was much harder for (i suspect) a few reasons. my theory is that a lot more people are going for 31 than 13 in a samaichi event, because there are significantly more samaichi shippers than ichisama shippers to begin with, plus the point requirement for 31 is much lower than it is for 13 so it's easier to attain anyway

basically landing exactly on 31 was... stressful lol, at least a few other people were trying to get there too, so you couldn't go too high up or you would accidentally shoot into 30, and you couldn't just stagnate or you would be pushed down to 32 (or lower)

i basically did a ton of runs of yokohama walker remix where i would hit, like, 50 notes then stop and let the rest be misses to see how many points that would give. then 25 notes, stop, see how many points. 100 notes, stop, see how many points. i had a huge spreadsheet of exactly how many points i would get for x notes hit at y rise used, so that i could squeak precisely into 31

but the thing is, you can't just hit 50 notes then end the track, the points won't count that way. you have to still let the track finish playing for the points to count, so yokohama walker remix part a being super short helped a lot with that. you could finish a run fast, check your rankings, see when the person below you passes you again, calculate how many points you need to get back into 31, then go back and do another run

you can do the same thing with any track, but if it's longer, it'll take longer to fine tune your ranking

OF COURSE I UNDERSTAND MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT DOING THIS EXTREMELY ABNORMAL THING OF TRYING TO RANK IN THE SAMAICHI NUMBER EXACTLY LMAO so all this info is pertinent to, um, probably just me. honestly it's not even that pertinent to me anymore because i don't think i'll try to tier again. i already have one rank 13 plaque and one rank 31 plaque to display so that satisfies my samaichi left right not fixed heart

anyway if anyone's read this far. wow. you now know the depth of my devotion to smic uwu (as if it was not previously evident from my blog lol)

(pay no mind to the number of days login pls despite starting on day one i have missed. lmfao. A Lot)

and here's the proof that i did do the thing:

[imunbreakabledude]

Maybe im being too harsh on osrs players in general since plenty of rs3 players are having stupid suggestions as well but most of the osrs suggestions are pretty much what it would take for them to come back to the game. They range from no cosmetic worlds, which was mentioned in the video and i personally think it a tempoross bucket tier suggestion. But whatever, the technology already exists in game for this to be possible so i dont care much, a few worlds dedicated to it doesnt really matter The other suggestion i see a lot of is completely new worlds separate from the main game since the main game for rs3 is 'tainted' with mtx xp already. This was the genuinely stupid suggestion i was referring to in my last ask because rs3 already ran an event like this called fresh start worlds that was like a mini leagues and osrs players already didnt show up to that along with other reasons. It sort of just feels like people are moving the goal posts of what it'd take for them to play again, osrs and rs3 players alike, and then they most likely wont show up or care to play for any amount of time. I think the fact that this announcement/experiments are even happening has me a little hopeful for the future. Of course i'll hold my breath till the actual changes go through but I can't think of one person ive met on rs3 that likes the mtx in the game and id say most of the more involved players and me are chomping at the bit to get it reduced in any way possible. So when an announcement like this rolls around and it just leads to people posting their stupid demands that are never gonna happen and bickering with each other constantly it kind of leaves me annoyed and jaded with the community. I've certainly given osrs players flak but at least when the jmods ask for their opinions on a change or new content osrs players are generally willing to have a discussion about it. So thats why i asked you, osrs player who's willing to have a discussion about the games changes. Im not willing to give mod north any credit though screw that guy

Anyways sorry to write an essay in your asks about some stupid stuff

yeah, i can understand that would be annoying. a lot of player suggestions are naive and self-serving always, and it must be so much worse when it's talking about a game they don't even play anymore and (likely) won't want to play seriously again, even with changes.

like part of the reason I didn't watch the whole video or think about it much is because I don't go there. my thought seeing the headline was, "oh, interesting, good for jagex and good for rs3 players, I hope it works out well." but not to make suggestions because I don't even know enough about how MTX are really implemented in the current year or how they affect the non-mtx parts of the game to say anything. so it's interesting to hear from you, the only person I regularly talk to who is an rs3 player haha

cosmetic-free worlds sound like an okay suggestion at a glance to me - but the more you think about them the more weird it is, very much tempoross buckets. like, if jagex isn't *removing* cosmetic MTX transmogs, it'd be kinda strange for them to be like, "we acknowledge these are such an eyesore to some players that we will let you pay to avoid them, while also encouraging other players to pay to have them." talking out of both sides of their mouth. that's the kind of thing I think is best handled by jagex quietly allowing a third party client to offer a "hide transmogs" plugin for players who hate them without acknowledging anything in the base game. (idk if RS3 has anything like runelite, i know it's not a given to say 'someone just make a plugin', lmao, it takes infrastructure + volunteer work, but in an ideal world i think that's the most elegant solution to the divisiveness of cosmetics.)

as for the "xp reset", wow, that is incredibly dumb, i agree. you're totally right, because OSRS ALSO had fresh start worlds and they were also incredibly unpopular. that suggestion honestly sounds more spiteful than anything - wanting to punish people who played the game "wrong" in a way that would not actually make anyone who left want to play again. because be real, anyone who cared about hiscores in RS3 enough to actually feel like they'd play if not for the 'integrity breach' of MTX boosts, probably cared enough to play anyway.

as I said I can't give much of a good discussion because I really don't know that much detail about the current state of RS3, and I am honest enough about the fact that I will likely never go back to playing it in any meaningful way. admittedly, I HAVE thought about trying it out again for a short period, potentially when they have their first League, since OSRS isn't having one this year. I have a feeling I might get overwhelmed/turned off by the new interfaces and graphics, but I might give it a shot. I have no ill will toward RS3 and I hope these MTX reductions work out well for the actual dedicated community! and the best thing I can do as someone who hasn't played the game since like, 2012, is keep my mouth shut on things I don't know about lol

[loans4everyone]

Unlocking Your VA Loan Benefit: Can You Use a VA Loan More Than Once?

Key Takeaways

You can use your VA loan benefit more than once. There's no lifetime limit on how many times you can use it.

It's possible to have more than one VA loan at the same time, thanks to something called 'second-tier entitlement.'

You can get your VA loan entitlement back after you sell your home or pay off your VA-backed loan.

Even if you don't have full entitlement, you might still have enough to buy another home.

Every time you use a VA loan, you still need to meet the VA's rules and your lender's requirements.

Understanding Your VA Loan Benefit

What Is a VA Loan?

Okay, so what is a VA loan anyway? It's basically a mortgage loan in the United States guaranteed by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. The VA itself doesn't actually lend you the money. Instead, it guarantees a portion of the loan, which means if you, as the borrower, default, the VA will pay the lender back a certain amount. This guarantee reduces the lender's risk, allowing them to offer more favorable terms to veterans, active-duty service members, and eligible surviving spouses. It's a pretty sweet deal designed to make homeownership more accessible.

Key Advantages of VA Loans

VA loans come with some serious perks. Here's a quick rundown:

No Down Payment (Usually): You can often finance up to 100% of the home's value. That's huge!

No Private Mortgage Insurance (PMI): PMI can add a significant amount to your monthly payment. VA loans don't require it.

Competitive Interest Rates: Because the VA backs the loan, interest rates are typically lower than conventional loans. This can save you a ton of money over the life of the loan.

Easier to Qualify: VA loans generally have more flexible credit requirements than conventional loans. This can be a lifesaver if your credit isn't perfect.

Assumability: In some cases, another eligible veteran can assume your VA loan if you decide to sell. This can be a major selling point.

VA loans are a fantastic benefit, but it's important to remember that they're not free money. You still have to qualify, and you're still responsible for repaying the loan. Don't overextend yourself!

Eligibility Requirements for VA Loans

Not everyone can just walk in and get a VA loan. There are eligibility requirements you need to meet. Generally, you're eligible if you're a:

Veteran who meets certain service requirements.

Active-duty service member.

Eligible surviving spouse of a veteran.

Service requirements vary depending on when you served, but generally, it involves a minimum amount of active duty. There are also specific rules for National Guard and Reserve members. You'll also need a Certificate of Eligibility (COE) to prove to the lender that you're eligible for the VA home loan program. You can usually get this through the VA's eBenefits portal or through your lender. It's a good idea to get this sorted out early in the process.

Can You Use a VA Loan More Than Once?

It's a common misconception that you only get one shot with a VA loan. Good news: that's not true! You can actually use your VA loan benefit multiple times throughout your life. The key is understanding how the entitlement system works. Let's break it down.

No Lifetime Limit on Usage

There's no limit to how many times you can use a VA loan, as long as you meet the requirements each time. Think of it less like a one-time coupon and more like a reusable benefit. You served, you earned it, so you should be able to use it!

The Role of VA Entitlement

Your VA entitlement is the amount the VA guarantees to your lender. When you use a VA loan, a portion of your entitlement is tied up. The amount of entitlement available affects how much you can borrow. It's important to understand how much entitlement you have available to maximize your borrowing power. You can always check your VA entitlement to see where you stand.

Primary Residence Requirement

VA loans are designed for purchasing or refinancing a primary residence. This means you generally can't use a VA loan to buy an investment property. The home you finance with a VA loan needs to be where you live most of the time. This requirement is in place to ensure the benefit is used for its intended purpose: helping veterans secure stable housing.

Having Multiple VA Loans Simultaneously

Second-Tier Entitlement Explained

So, you're thinking about having two VA loans at the same time? It's possible! This is where second-tier entitlement comes into play. Basically, it means you might have enough VA loan benefit left over to buy another home, even if you haven't sold your first one. This is especially helpful if you're moving but haven't sold your current house yet. It's not always straightforward, but it's a great option to explore.

Conditions for Concurrent VA Loans

To swing multiple VA loans simultaneously, there are a few boxes you need to check:

Remaining Entitlement: You need to have enough remaining entitlement to cover the new loan. The VA guarantees a portion of your loan, and if you've used some of that guarantee already, you need to have enough left over.

Primary Residence: The new property must be your primary residence. You can't use a VA loan to buy an investment property.

Financial Stability: You'll need to meet the lender's credit and income requirements. They want to make sure you can handle both mortgages.

It's important to remember that lenders can have their own rules on top of the VA's requirements. Some might be hesitant to approve a second VA loan, even if you technically qualify. Don't be afraid to shop around for a lender who understands second-tier entitlement.

Situations Requiring a Second VA Loan

Life happens, and sometimes you need to buy a new home before you can sell your old one. Here are a few common scenarios where a second VA loan can be a lifesaver:

Permanent Change of Station (PCS): Military members often get orders to move to a new base. A second VA loan allows them to buy a home in their new location without selling their current one first.

Job Relocation: Similar to a PCS, a new job in a different city might require you to move before you can sell your existing home. A second VA loan can bridge the gap.

Increase in Family Size: Maybe your current home is too small for your growing family. A second VA loan can help you buy a larger home without waiting to sell your current one.

Restoring Your VA Loan Entitlement

Full Entitlement Restoration After Sale

The most straightforward way to restore your VA loan entitlement is by selling your property and fully repaying your VA-backed loan. This essentially frees up your entitlement for future use. When you sell, make sure the proceeds cover the outstanding loan balance. It's also important to officially transfer the property, either through a standard sale or by having another eligible veteran assume your loan. This ensures your entitlement is properly restored. Selling to restore VA Loan Entitlement is the easiest route.

Partial Entitlement Restoration

Even if you haven't fully repaid your previous VA loan, you might still be able to restore a portion of your entitlement. This often happens if a veteran's previous VA loan was for a smaller amount than the current loan limits. The amount of entitlement you can restore depends on several factors, including the original loan amount, the current loan limits, and any outstanding balance on the previous loan. It's a bit complex, so consulting with a VA loan specialist is a good idea to figure out exactly how much service eligibility you have available.

One-Time Restoration Option

There's also a "one-time restoration" option available in specific situations. This usually comes into play when you refinance your existing VA loan into a non-VA loan product, like a conventional mortgage. This allows you to use your VA benefit again, even if you still own the original property. However, as the name suggests, this is a one-time deal.

Keep in mind that restoring your entitlement isn't automatic. You'll likely need to complete VA Form 26-1880 and submit it to the VA. This form provides information about your previous VA loans and helps the VA update your Certificate of Eligibility to reflect your reinstated entitlement. A VA lender can guide you through this process.

Navigating VA Loan Limits and Entitlement

How Entitlement Affects Borrowing Power

Your VA loan entitlement is basically the amount the VA promises to pay your lender if you can't pay your loan. It's usually 25% of the loan. This guarantee is what allows many veterans to buy homes with no down payment. The amount of entitlement you have available directly impacts how much you can borrow without needing to put money down.

Understanding VA Loan Limits

While the VA doesn't technically set a limit on how much you can borrow, there are limits to how much they'll guarantee without a down payment. These limits are often tied to the conforming loan limits set by agencies like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. As of 2024, the limit in most areas is around $766,550, but it can be higher in pricier areas. Keep in mind that lenders might have their own limits too, based on your credit and income.

Calculating Your Remaining Entitlement

If you've used a VA loan before, you might have what's called remaining entitlement. To figure out how much you have left, you'll need to know the loan limit for your area and how much of your entitlement you've already used. Here's a simplified example:

Let's say the current loan limit is $766,550 and you previously used $75,000 of your entitlement. First, calculate 25% of the loan limit: $766,550 * 0.25 = $191,637.50. Then, subtract the amount you previously used: $191,637.50 - $75,000 = $116,637.50. Finally, multiply the remaining entitlement by four: $116,637.50 * 4 = $466,550. This means you could potentially borrow up to $466,550 without a down payment.

It's a good idea to get your Certificate of Eligibility (COE). It shows lenders how you earned your entitlement and how much you have available. You can usually get this through the VA or your lender can help you get it. Knowing your entitlement situation is key to making smart decisions about using your VA loan benefits.

Key Considerations for Reusing Your VA Loan

So, you're thinking about using your VA loan benefit again? That's great! It's a fantastic perk for those who've served. But before you jump in, there are a few things to keep in mind. It's not quite as simple as just applying again; you need to make sure you meet certain criteria. Let's break it down.

Lender-Specific Requirements

While the VA sets the baseline rules, individual lenders can add their own requirements on top. This means that even if you're eligible according to the VA, a particular lender might still turn you down. These are often called overlays. For example, some lenders might have stricter credit score requirements or want to see a lower debt-to-income ratio than the VA requires. It's always a good idea to shop around and talk to multiple lenders to see what they each require. Don't assume that one denial means you're out of luck!

Credit and Income Guidelines

Just like with any loan, your credit history and income play a big role. Lenders will want to see that you're a responsible borrower who can handle the monthly payments. This means having a decent credit score and a stable income. If your credit score has taken a hit since you last used your VA loan, or if your income has decreased, you might need to take some steps to improve your financial situation before applying again. Consider checking your credit report for any errors and addressing them. Also, make sure you can document your income with pay stubs, tax returns, or other official documents. Remember, VA home loans offer great terms, but you still need to qualify.

Occupancy Rules for Subsequent Loans

One of the most important things to remember about VA loans is the occupancy requirement. The VA requires that you intend to occupy the property as your primary residence. This rule applies every time you use a VA loan, including subsequent uses. You can't use a VA loan to buy an investment property or a vacation home. If you're buying a new home with a VA loan while still owning your previous home (also purchased with a VA loan), you'll need to demonstrate a valid reason for not occupying the first home, such as a job relocation. The VA is pretty strict about this, so make sure you're clear on the rules before you proceed.

It's important to remember that reusing your VA loan benefit isn't automatic. You need to meet the VA's requirements, as well as the lender's requirements. Take the time to understand the rules and make sure you're in a good financial position before applying. With a little planning, you can take advantage of this valuable benefit again and again.

Wrapping It Up: Your VA Loan Benefit

So, there you have it. That idea that you can only use your VA loan once? Totally wrong. It's a benefit you've earned, and you can use it again and again, as long as you meet the rules. Whether you're moving for work, looking for a bigger place, or just want to buy another home, your VA loan can help. Just remember to keep an eye on your entitlement and talk to someone who really knows their stuff about VA loans. Don't let old myths stop you from using what's yours!

Frequently Asked Questions

Is there a limit to how many times I can use my VA loan?

No, there's no limit to how many times you can use your VA loan benefit. As long as you meet the requirements, you can use it again and again.

Can I have two VA loans at once?

Yes, it's possible to have two VA loans at the same time. This usually happens if you still have some of your VA loan benefit left and the new home will be your main place of living.

What's the main thing I should know about using my VA loan multiple times?

The main thing to keep in mind is your 'entitlement' – that's the amount the VA promises to cover for your loan. Some lenders might not fully understand how this works, so it's good to talk to a VA loan expert.

Does refinancing with a VA loan use up my benefit?

No, refinancing your current VA loan, whether it's to get a lower interest rate or to take cash out, doesn't use up your VA loan benefit for future home purchases.

How many times can I get my VA loan benefit back?

You can get your VA loan benefit back as many times as you need, as long as you follow the rules. This benefit is something you've earned for life.

How long does it take to get my VA loan benefit back?

Sometimes, you can sell your old home, get your VA loan benefit back, and buy a new home all on the same day. But everyone's situation is different, so it can vary.

[georgesmith00x2]

Best Hose Repairs Powder Springs

The first factor to test underneath the hood is the hose this is answerable for delivering warm air to the firewall. Is the hose linked and in true restore? A hose that is free or is damaged from age and wear might not be capable of do the task and could want to get replaced or repaired. If the new coolant hose itself seems related to the proper supply and appears undamaged, test to look if it feels hot. If the hose isn't always warm it may be a thermostat hassle. It's a simple vehicle restore repair to your mechanic to adjust the thermostat and get your warmth flowing again.

You also can test the coolant tiers to make certain the fluid tiers are right wherein they belong. If the coolant degrees are to low there isn't enough coolant flowing via the engine to maintain the engine cool and offer a good enough source of coolant to be diverted into warm coolant. If you've got an excellent source of heat until you start to go uphill, your vehicle repair hassle can be a defective vacuum gadget. Your mechanic will need to check your engine vacuum machine and make the essential changes to hold an even level of warmth getting into your automobile even when you do pass uphill.

Finally, it could be a defective blower motor which could mean a blown fuse, a relevantly cheap and clean thing to fix or it can be a greater pricey repair such as a faulty blower motor to want to get replaced.

When you're making the choice on the right period of a pool vacuum hose repairs powder, you may need to make sure you have measured your pool vicinity before purchase. You need to make certain the distance can effortlessly reach the other aspect of your pool with a purpose to be the longest distance from you.

Another key issue in finding out what type of pool vacuum hose to get is the sturdiness of the product. All varieties of hoses are not clearly the same, and due to this, you commonly get what you pay for. If you can manage to pay for a little extra high-priced product you have to be happier with the product because it will last for quite some time within the future.

There are hose repairs powder available on the market which can be consuming water secure hoses and are labelled as such. Some hoses come with warning labels that they may be no longer for use for ingesting. But there are a few that are not labelled at all or the “first-rate print” is so small it's miles difficult to look. But even though the hose is deemed “secure”, it is a clever idea to flush the hose very well before taking a drink. And seasonal cleansing is recommended.

So, what's the first-class way to easy out a present hose?  A good manner is to submerge your hose in a bucket filled with a mixture of water and bleach and permit it soak for one complete day.  It is suggested which you use teaspoons of bleach in keeping with gallon of water.  When it's far accomplished soaking, unroll the hose and attach to the side. Let water run via it for no less than 15 minutes.

[the-earth-priestess]

IMPORTANT UPDATE! FREE BASE READING, PAID TIERS

hello everyone! i've decided i need to rework how i do readings. 🥹

i'm going to be completely transparent about it. this is because i'm not getting the results i need. the thing is, this really actually deserves to be a paid service. when i give readings, i give my all. i put 100% of my time, energy and empathy into making sure my responses are genuine, joyful and good. when you were asking for a reading from me, you were asking for messages from Spirit and advice from me. this advice comes from my learnings over time; it's hardwon and it takes effort and time to accumulate this knowledge and wisdom.

and so now, it's that wisdom that you're going to pay for.

because realistically, anyone can read for you. anyone can give you advice based on the cards, too. but if you've seen my general readings here on my blog, or been lucky enough to have received a full free reading already, then you'll know i'm highly skilled in what i do. because i genuinely wish to serve people, protect people and love people. i'm a reader who believes in the pay-it-forward methodology of karma; meaning, i will give over and over in order to receive tenfold.

but sometimes you need to set boundaries. you can rely on the Universe, but the Universe won't do everything for you.

i love helping people, but i need to make my service work for me. i haven't received a single tip out of 10+ readings yet, and some people don't even stick around after the reading to thank me. i'm afraid that isn't what i'm all about. to avoid being used until i burn out again, i need to put my foot down and i need to advocate for my needs.

so going forward, here's how things are going to work.

TO RECEIVE A BASE TAROT READING - FREE:

use an actual blog that includes posts, icon, banner, etc (so i know you're not a bot)

like + reblog this post (helps me gain exposure)

follow me (to keep updated)

dm me with any request your heart desires! (so i can see what i can do for you)

TIER TWO - USD$30 UPFRONT:

you will receive advice based on the tarot reading from yours truly! this is important if you want to get the full use out of your personalised base reading.

TIER TWO - USD$50 UPFRONT:

you will receive an oracle reading, which is basically advice from the Universe as divined by me, using my beloved Sacred Forest oracle deck! i highly recommend this one because it feels fun and exciting to divine and receive messages from the Universe.

i really hope you'll consider my services, everyone. i really want to help, but i want it to feel rewarding and good. money isn't everything, but people don't always know how to express heartfelt thanks in words either and this is an easy way to do that. it's how i want to make a living!

i'll be redirecting everyone who has already dm'd me about my previous free tarot reading post to this one. i know i'll lose some requests, but i know the ones who need me enough and want to show genuine love and light right back to me will stay.

thank you for your consideration. i love you all! 🩵🍃✨

[terrence-silver]

As powerful and in control and dominant as he is, do you think there’s anything that would make Terry forget all that and act like a kid again, like he’s so delighted, like snow or a puppy or something like that? I think that would be so cute to just see him happy and laughing with joy and not maniacally lol.

― I mean, we're shown he's immensely happy when John brings him that batch of 333 Sabeco beers and Terry jumps up with instant recognition, all smiles, yes, like a little kid. It isn't some lavish Chardonnay. It isn't some rare vintage import wine in refined company and it certainly isn't an expensive Martini with an even more expensive virgin olive garnish the likes people his class enjoy; it is just beer that associates him with his youth and the perhaps the rare stolen good moment he shared with fellow soldiers and his friends in Vietnam --- and boom, Terry’s face lights up and he appears almost undeniably innocent for a brief tid bit. Of course, the scene soon turns very, very sour seeing as what John does next, but for a brief second, we see a glimpse that Terry is made happy by surprisingly and unexpectedly simple things, considering how rich and refined he is. That much is literally canon.

― Petty mischief comes next, as a close second. Example being Terry's shenanigans in the nightclub circa the 80's when Daniel's tricked into breaking someone nose. Terry's all smiles and genuine excitement as he outruns security at the back entrance with this kid, so, as I always headcanon, I think Terry, in spite of being a grown and fully accomplished man, has a great many traits that one could attribute to a cheeky, misbehaving teenager causing a ruckus (which we can attribute to him going to war as a teenager himself and suffering from being repressed at that age). Terry enjoys that bit of freedom and adrenaline rush, almost like a hyperactive, overgrown child Daniel’s own age. Of course, it is done with a nefarious purpose in this particular context, but I feel Terry, throughout the years, indulged in petty mischief often and that he legitimately got as happy as a boy whenever he did.

― So, going off of two canon examples, and I did conclude this before, I am convinced Terry’s delighted in the purest way possible by day to day simplicity. Childish endeavors. Things that are free (irony) or cost very little (more irony) --- nothing’s for free, according to his own words, but a great many free things do in fact bring Terry the most satisfaction --- not that he would necessarily full-heartedly admit to this. Sure, scheming and wealth and outsmarting everyone and mingling with an upper class company might make him smirk. Might even have him laughing maniacally. Give out a mechanical, rehearsed chuckle. But, every time we’ve seen Terry truly overjoyed in an oddly pure manner is when he’s faced with commonplace pleasures. A nostalgic beer. Acting like an unruly adolescent on a night out on the town. Driving around a busted up Ford and pretending to be just some guy.

― As such, conclusion is, that Terry would exhibit this clean, sweet type of happiness you speak of in the face of being known and being accepted for he is --- all flaws and all himself. Happiness is being known. Being able to preform devotion and receiving it back in honest. Happiness is in a cheap, supermarket-tier beverage associated with a different era. Happiness is getting a slightly tacky tattoo with a good friend at the most ordinary of parlours. Happiness is having a cheesy Cobra Kai motto and handshake. Happiness is feeling young again and not having that youth polluted and practically stolen by war and trauma. For an immensely complicated, nuanced and complex, often contradictory man that is Terry Silver who can afford anything and anybody, true happiness, ironically enough, lies in the most simple things in the world.

[tigerbasilisk]

Watching anime!

I have now completed all the anime I was watching previously, and it's time to pick up some more! It's always a delightful medium, with great potential for presenting notable stories in a fresh manner. For reference, the two I was watching last season were Sono Bisque Doll wa Koi wo Suru and Attack on Titan: "final season". While I think the entire corpus of Attack on Titan is exceedingly high quality fiction, you might be able to tell from the rest of my blog that the single anime season which brought me more joy was Bisque Doll, otherwise known as My Dress-Up Darling.

The upcoming season is full of wonderful anime that I would recommend to you! Personally, I don't think I will be picking anything up, though. I will go over the most popular looking ones and comment on why that's the case, and why you could consider watching them.

As for what I will be watching, I have on my list just one anime for now: The Vision of Escaflowne. It's a rather old anime from 1996. I have heard that, while it employs mecha, it's not sci-fi at all and is more of a fantasy style anime. I watched the opening and it seems oh so dramatic. This one's a classic, and I hope I enjoy it too!

Now, here are the top new anime airing this season.

Kaguya-sama: Love Is War -Ultra Romantic- This one is going to be amazing! The hilarity of the previous seasons continues and you can expect some thrilling developments to the romance as well. Some of the best arcs are going to be covered in this season. The reason I am not watching this is because I am a long time manga reader and the anime is really far behind. Watching it would get a little disorienting. I have noted that the anime has great voice acting, and that alone makes it worth giving a try. The sheer intelligence and honesty of the writing makes me grade this as one of the best series around.

Image

Spy x Family With the advent of free, legal, online access to Weekly Shōnen Jump, I got the chance to follow this series right form the beginning. It has amazing art, lovable characters, top tier physical comedy, some great action and a solid premise that constantly pays off: What happens when a Spy, an Assassin and an Esper have to act like a loving family while maintaining their secrets? This series caters to so many cravings that you will end up loving it for reason or another. The strongest reason just might be little Anya Folger. I might just watch this one, since Spy x Family is a manga that can be greatly enhanced through an anime adaptation.

Komi-san Can't Communicate S2 I really like this manga! It has been a constant source of lighting up my day. I was excited when the anime was announced. The initial episodes had surprisingly high polish. Due to Netflix completely screwing up the subtitles I had to put the anime on hold and unfortunately never picked it back up. Nevertheless, the first season had a decent run. You can expect the anime to get much better with the permanent developments coming up. Expect more funny gags and the charming presence of Tadano Hitohito.

Shield Hero 3: I haven't heard good things about this series and there isn't enough time to complete the previous seasons in time for me to give this a try anyway. A fun addition to any isekai fan's list.

Shikimori's Not Just a Cutie: The manga wasn't quite to my liking. There is a lot of hype for this one, and I hope all those people enjoy it as much as they expect to.

A Couple of Cuckoos: This one will be a fun watch for enjoyers of Heisei era romcoms. I wasn't too fond of the execution but the premise is interesting.

Shout out to Witch Hat Atelier getting an anime adaptation confirmed. This might be a good watch whenever it comes out.

[kimium]

Me: I want to ramble on my blog. If only there was a way.

Me: Wait a second. This is my blog.

Hi, so I'm just going to ramble about my ships in Twisted Wonderland because 1) My blog and 2) I've written two (2) fics for the fandom and thus this has granted me my free "I can talk about the fandom randomly" card. That's how it works, right?

Anyways, here is the current state of my Twisted Wonderland ships. There are different categories because Why Not. Rest is under the cut.

Note: This is just silly fun and if you don't agree with my ships that's fine. It's all fictional anyways.

Ships That I Immediately Shipped No Questions Asked (in order of "THIS IS MY OTP" to "I Really Enjoy This Ship")

Vil/Rook: If someone told me when I first started this game back in January that I'd end up liking Vil, I wouldn't have believed them. On the surface, Vil's character trope is one I dislike. However, I love Vil's determination and work ethic. I firmly believe Vil and Rook are the most synchronized house leader/vice leader combo in the entire game. They're also the kind to be Secretly Disgustingly Romantic. (Epel is appalled.)

Ace/Deuce: I don't really think I need to explain this one. They're the brain cell duo and their interactions/banter are adorable. Also, they're the combo of Dumbass/Dumbass and that's a great ship dynamic.

Trey/Cater: They're basically the parents of the dorm. Though, while I think Cater is the "fun" parent, who allows things to slide, Trey is the "Caring/Worrying" parent. I firmly believe without Trey the dorm would have imploded long, long before Yuu arrived.

Leona/Malleus: It's all about that "one party thinks the other is their enemy/rival and hates them while the other doesn't view it that way" dynamic. Also, the character foil between Leona and Malleus (both princes, both have high expectations thrust upon them, both are talented and gifted, etc.) drives me. Always weak to a good character foil.

Azul/Jade: It's actually hard to decide if I like Azul more with Jade or Floyd. Honestly, I usually shrug and go "OT3 that" but it's complicated with the three of them. Still, I think Azul can have TWO boyfriends and the three agreeing it's not cheating. Merpeople can have different morals/ethics for relationships than humans, right?

Uh anyways, I love how Jade's calm demeanor can counter Azul's secretly Frantic and Panicking Energy. But Jade has enough teasing in him to keep Azul on his toes.

Cute ships that I enjoy (in order of "I'd read a fic about it" to "That's Nice" and read if I enjoyed the premise)

Floyd/Riddle: As soon as I read the one vignette with Floyd basically pigtail pulling Riddle (metaphorically) I knew I'd love it. The teasing and dynamic is super cute. Also "Goldfishie" as a nickname is hilarious.

Jack/Epel: This is a classic "I admire you please help me out to achieve what I want" turned "Oh No my admiration has turned into a crush! Help!" Also, Jack is a Sweet Boy and I want him to be Happy.

Jack/Vil: They're childhood friends. That alone is enough to get me to ship them, but that vignette with Vil scolding Jack for wearing his ceremonial robes incorrectly and proceeding to fix it?? Top Tier.

Leona/Ruggie: I don't have a lot of thought with this one other than "Ruggie keeps teasing and flirting with Leona only to pull a Shocked Pikachu Face when Leona snaps and Does Something About the Flirting".

Silver/Sebek: Another ship I don't have a lot of thoughts other than Sebek pretending he isn't affected by Silver but is Very Much Affected by Silver. Whether Silver is oblivious or just shrugs and accepts Sebek will tell him on his own time is up to you.

Ships that Make me Go "That's Neat" (in order of "I see where you're coming from" to "Interesting.")

Jamil/Kalim: Okay. The most popular Twisted Wonderland ship on AO3 has arrived. Truthfully, I'm very conflicted. On one hand I like it because it's a classic "servant and master" dynamic that fiction enjoys. On the other hand I don't think it works unless they sit down and fully unpack all of the unsaid things before proceeding to work through their emotional baggage together. Otherwise I think it's an insult to Jamil who has some legitimate grievances over Kalim. And it's an insult to Kalim because while he's ignorant, I don't believe he's malicious.

Or you can just write them in an AU without the emotional baggage. That works ahaha.

Leona/Vil: It's another character foil situation here. Only this one is a little more focused on "work ethic" rather than "royalty and talent". The only reason I like Leona/Malleus better is because I'm such a big Vil/Rook shipper.

Idia/Malleus: It's funny because it's "technology WIZARD and genius of his generation" VS. "Man who doesn't understand how a Tamagotchi like device works".

Jamil/Azul: I've seen this pop up and I can see the appeal.

Ships that are 100% Rare (in order of "If I was the kind of person to write a rare pair for TW, I'd write it" to "That's just a funny character combo")

Lilia/Trein: Look. Picture this: young Trein a "Straight A student who if asked "What are you weekend plans?" replies, "Study." in Night Raven College meets Lilia (who I am firmly in the camp "in adult form Lilia has long hair") and has a wild, passionate romance with. One that Trein never, ever forgets but pretends he thinks it's a mistake. Then, years later he meets "young" Lilia acting like his student and he's So Done.

Malleus/Cater: This is a similar idea to Idia only Cater's advantage is "Understands social media and trends" to which Malleus understands none of those things.

Crewel/Vargas: It's an opposite attracts sort of deal, but I'm also perfectly fine with them being unlikely friends. If they're friends I have an entire "Restaurant Staff Think They're an Actual Couple" joke with @m34gs.

Bonus: "But who do YOU ship Yuu with??"

Uh... I don't ship Yuu with anyone, but if I had to pick one (1) character it would be Malleus. Only because I cannot get the joke "Malleus didn't get the memo that this isn't an otome game" out of my brain.

[victorianpining]

Hi Rebeckah, thanks for all you do! I was wondering what your take was on your Mary Morstan. She seems to care about John in some kind of a way, enough to hate Sherlock on a personal level. I mean her jealousy is so strong in has the long term consequences of killing her. Since in your version she is a coldblooded killer who isn't actually filled with remorse or trying to leave her old life behind, I don't see what she sees in John. His attractive qualities: loyalty, kindness and bravery are for the most part things she does not value. Why would she get bitter about their relationship at all under the circumstances?

Hello! Good question, I guess I can see that seeming like a contradiction. Before I answer, I want to state (yet again) that almost all of how I view the villains and the actual Plot of Sherlock is still heavily influenced by Nattie LSiT's meta M-Theory. Truly top-tier Greatest Of All Time meta. That goes for my read on Mary.

So what does Mary see in John? You might as well ask what Moriarty sees in Sherlock, they're kind of the same question. Both Moriarty and Mary have this distorted view of the person they claim to love, that if only there wasn't just this one thing holding them back, they would be absolutely perfect. The thing holding Sherlock and John back in the eyes of the villains? Their love for each other.

I actually think she values John's loyalty, kindness, and bravery tremendously, if they were being directed at her. I sort of imagine that on that night at the pool, when Mary was aiming at John and watched him willingly sacrifice himself to save Sherlock, she had this sort of flash of him doing that for her.

Looking at Sherlock's rapid-fire deduction of her, she's a mess of contradictions. She's romantic and disillusioned. She's clever and shortsighted. She wants John to be her loyal protector, but is also tremendously bored pretending to be a civilian. I think her ideal scenario is what happens in His Last Vow. John knows who and what she is, says he doesn't care and will be with her anyway. That would free her up to continue to do the work she loves while also getting to have and control John. She’s crying happy tears in that scene and I think they’re real, what John is saying is her dream come true.

I wrote in a scene of Mary comparing herself to Sherlock because I think that's how she views the world. In her mind, there is no difference between what she's done and what Sherlock has done. And John forgives and accepts and loves Sherlock, why won't he just do the same for her?

On a meta level, Mary is likewise tied up with the expectations of who John Watson is supposed to be. Doyle got to write one (1) novel of Holmes and Watson living together before he thought it was necessary to introduce a wife for Watson. Getting married to a woman would be the proper thing for Watson to do. Again, exactly like how Moriarty wants his mischaracterization of Sherlock to be the real version, Mary likewise wants the version of Watson Doyle presented to the public to be real. And even then, she gets left behind every time, because John Watson always chooses Sherlock Holmes.

That's sort of why her plotline ends the way it does, Mary's version of the story hasn't been nearly as successful as Moriarty's.

[your-brilliant-lady-m]

Part 3 - Basic Concepts of Miraculous Ladybug: Transformations, Potions and Power-Up's

Welcome to my analysis of basic concepts in Miraculous. Let's talk about transformations, potions and power-up's. This one is going to be interesting.

Apparently, only child superheroes have a time limit and can use their power only once. And adults can use their powers many times and maintain their transformation.

I don't take Thomas Astruc's Twitter statements seriously, but he said that adults don't have to detransform because they can feed the kwami with their energy. What happens when energy runs out? Does it mean that holder of the miraculous dies and transformation drops? Or does transformation drops when the kwami grows tired enough? However, according to "Silencer", transformation can't be released until the holder says detransformation words or uses their power (applies to children only). Is that why Master Fu doesn't transform these days? Because he is old and doesn't have enough energy for Wayzz.

At the same time, Bunnix/Bunnyx held her transformation for several thousand years in "Timetagger" and she was still alive. Moreover, not only she was still alive, she hasn't aged a day. Alix still looked around 25 even after spending so much time in stone. Her sanity was also still intact. Does that mean that as long as people are transformed they are immortal and can't die of natural causes, can't get sick or be killed? Does the Miraculous pause all inner processes? Do people stop ageing when they are transformed? Does that mean that prolonged transformations essentially slowed down puberty for Marinette and Adrien because every Akuma attack (their transformation during this attack to be precise) acts as a pause for their growth process? Does that mean that transformed heroes don't need food, sleep or oxygen? And Alix doesn't experience any negative side-effects after prolonged transformation. A lot of questions must be answered here.

But apparently, the "adults can use their power many times without detransforming" rule does not apply to Gabriel. In "Heroes' Day" he turns Nathalie into Catalyst who gives Hawkmoth the power to "release as many akumas as he desires". Does that mean that he can't normally do it? On the other hand, in "Queen Banana" he creates another Akuma right after the fight with akumatized Chloe ended.

Do you remember this? In "Origins" we find out that akumatized butterflies can multiply. That's why Ladybug needs to purify them. So, does that mean that Scarlet Moth and Catalyst weren't necessary?

Hawkmoth's plan in "Heroes' Day" was actually very smart. However, it can fall apart when you remember that butterflies can multiply. How does that work? Why do they multiply? Could Gabriel akumatize Nathalie into Catalyst (akumatized object is something not very valuable, like a piece of paper), then break the akumatized object and release the Akuma into the world? Would that turn people only into copies of Catalyst? I wouldn't call this thing a plothole, exactly. I'm just curious because it's an unclear moment. Perhaps you could explain it as the element of a soft magic system with unclear rules. Because the magic system in Miraculous is a mix between the hard and soft system.

Adults without time-limited power have a serious advantage over children. Why does Master Fu give Ladybug and Black Cat to teenagers then? In the beginning, Fu doesn't know that Butterfly holder is an adult. Isn't it safer to give 2 most powerful Miraculouses to adults just in case? If Butterfly Holder is a child then 2 adults with more powerful Miraculous would win much faster. If Butterfly Holder is an adult as well, then the fight is more even.

We know the out-of-universe reason for doing this. There would be no story then. Miraculous holders have to be kids since it's a kids show. But in-universe it doesn't make sense. In "Furious Fu" Su Han even says that children are not allowed to handle the Miraculous at all according to the rules of the Order. Fu knows that children have a time limit. It looks like he deliberately sets them up for failure. Why?

Is that because children are easier to manipulate as they are most likely to trust Fu's judgement no questions asked? This reasoning doesn't look good for Fu, who is supposed to be a wise and kind mentor. Is that because children won't abuse their powers? Find a trustworthy adult then. Give us some kind of in-universe explanation!

If you can't explain it then do something with the time-limit rule. It's an important plot device, which contributes to tension and raises the stakes during fights. So, removing it is unwise. Consider giving adults a time limit as well then.

Or you can create different rules. Maybe Black Cat and Ladybug can't be wielded by adults, unlike other lower-tier Miraculous? Maybe Miraculous and Kwami can choose the wielder in some capacity, and this magical bond can't be changed? Do Kwamis feel a pull towards several people and Guardian then chooses the final holder? If there's no pull whatsoever, then Kwami won't be able to grant powers to this person? How much weight does the decision of a Guardian have?

I actually like this last idea the most. It makes sense and avoids plotholes at the same time preserving the time-limit rule. I spent less than 20 minutes figuring this out.

This way Fu gave Ladybug and Black Cat to children because he didn't have a choice. Plagg and Tikki gave him suggestions but these people didn't pass his tests. Marinette and Adrien are the last ones and they do pass. It adds some tension and showcases desperation on Master Fu's part. Magical pull doesn't always mean that potential holders are good people. That's why Miraculous sometimes end up in the wrong hands.

Insert a conversation between Marinette and Tikki or Plagg and Adrien about this choosing process, have them wonder about the bond Nooroo and Hawkmoth share.

Then add more information about bonding. The magical connection can be formed just like people form relationships if human and Kwami spend some time together. It nicely adds up with the reason why Master Fu gave Ladybug and Black Cat to teenagers. He could have given both jewels to adults without a bond and waited for the connection to form but alas, there was no time. He needed active holders right now, and waiting for some adult to come around wasn't an option. But here's the catch. Only decent, kind people with good intentions can earn and create a magical bond. And this has the potential for a truly delicious scenario (more on that later).

It's a very tricky situation. But these rules must be stated and figured out in the very beginning. Because it can create plotholes down the line.

Unification

Combining several different Miraculous is an interesting concept and fusion of powers has been used for a long time as a storytelling element. It's important for the plot in several episodes of seasons 3 and 4.

However, there's "Kwamibuster", where the worldbuilding is broken one more time. It is awfully inconsistent within itself just like "Chat Blanc", "Timetagger" and "Furious Fu". (How do writers keep doing this? I have no idea. But then again even "Avengers: Endgame" contradicts itself numerous times. It's truly miraculous how they managed to do this with their budget, I'm impressed).

For a moment let's ignore all absolutely awful priorities that Marinette has in this episode as well as the rule "you can't know the identity of your partner or else you will have to give up your miraculous". This rule is literally never mentioned again before or after this episode. It's just there and it doesn't make sense. I know it's hard to ignore, but one must try. Instead, let's focus on this dialogue below.

Master Fu clearly states that you can't merge the Miraculous. It could make you lose your mind. The only more or less acceptable unification is that of Ladybug and Black Cat.

What happens next? Marinette puts on every Miraculous without any problem just "to free Kwamis" and transforms into Multimouse. The only sign of her discomfort is a moment of dizziness that's gone in a few seconds. Moreover, it never happens again, it's never mentioned. Then she does the exact thing that Fu told her not to do and starts merging Miraculous left and right. She continues to do so in season 4 every other day. What? Of course, how could I forget Shadowmoth? Gabriel merges 2 Miraculous every time in season 4. He doesn't lose his mind.

You can't tell us that merging can make you lose your mind and then in the next scene show us the complete opposite. That's bad writing. If you need the concept of unification to work then cancel the "lose your mind" rule and instead say that the merging process tires you out. There's no lasting harm, just that you will be very tired. If you want to raise the stakes, then say that wielding more than one Miraculous requires a strong will and practice. It's possible, but you can't perform unification just like that.

In this case, you lay the groundwork for the plotline of Marinette and Adrien for season 4 and 5. This plotline is about mastering unification. Show us how our heroes practice with different combinations of Miraculouses outside of Akuma battles. Show how they are improving. Maybe, Ladybug and Chat Noir nearly lose in the season 3 finale because the unification still drains them. However, in season 4 they put more effort into their training and by the time season 5 rolls around they are good at this. They became a stronger team and partners because of that. Their training sessions are also a good set-up for the development of the love square. Nothing like this will happen, but a girl can dream.

Look, I get it. You want Marinette to be special. Unfortunately, you have made her too special. She starts to break the laws of your magic system. We don't see the process. One moment she has 0 knowledge about something and then she is already an accomplished master of the thing in question and often it happens in the same episode. Marinette somehow just knows about the properties of every Miraculous on-screen, but her training happened off-screen. We as the audience are left confused and wondering. Wait, how does she know this? Was there a missing episode? Was this mentioned in some comic? The audience keenly feels the lack of plot-relevant content and explanations.

Potions and Power-Ups

They are a marketing ploy to sell more toys and merch with character transformations. That's it. Are they useful for the story? Yes, they are sometimes. Do power-up's make sense as a worldbuilding element? I'm sorry to tell you this, but no.

Miraculous Grimoire contains lots of potion recipes for Kwamis. I liked that Kwamis can't read the grimoire to avoid giving information to malevolent holders, which implies that they can't lie to their holder about their powers. I talked about this in my previous posts.

Let's start with Ice Transformation. Apparently, in-universe its only useful characteristic and the thing that sets it apart from normal transformation is skates. Maybe, this transformation also has additional protection from the cold. Maybe. Miraculous makes heroes nearly invulnerable and enhances their physical abilities. I find it hard to believe that protection from elements is not included in the package. And that's it. If we remember that Miraculous holders have subconscious control over transformation's appearance, we can also assume that a person can have conscious control as well. The laws of the magic system in Miraculous allow Marinette to ask Tikki to create skates for this particular transformation. Potions aren't necessary for this. This way you can still sell new toy, but in-universe this works better.

Our next stop is Aqua Transformation. It gives heroes the ability to breathe underwater and fins. That's all. In "Syren" it appears that this transformation also makes them more agile and fast in the water. However, Ladybug's yo-yo worked just fine before Aqua form when she tried to drag Kim to the surface. Her movements underwater weren't restricted either with normal transformation. So their fighting ability is not affected by the potion.

Kwami can live without oxygen. I mentioned earlier that Bunnix with normal transformation in "Timetagger" spent several thousand years in stone without oxygen and probably in some kind of stasis. Do transformed heroes need oxygen? No. Then their inability to breathe underwater doesn't make sense. Therefore, a potion isn't necessary for this.

Next, let's talk about fins. They could appear through the conscious desire of the holder just like skates.

Honestly, "Timetagger" and "Chat Blanc" completely destroyed worldbuilding in Miraculous. These episodes just shouldn't exist. They aren't even consistent within themselves, nevermind the rest of the show, which is why I still don't understand why fandom has such a weird hard-on for them and for Bunnix. Oh, wait. On second thought, I get it. They were just fanservice after all.

Cosmo Bug an Astro Chat. Space power-up give heroes the ability to fly and exist without oxygen. Ancient grimoire had the recipe of space potion, apparently. And humans got into space in the second half of the 20-th century. Ok. That totally makes sense.

If ancient people invented a space potion, that could also mean that back in Ancient Egypt Ladybug and Black Cat holders could use advanced technology. But Su Han in "Furious Fu" is surprised to discover that Ladybug can just call Chat Noir. He assumed she would send a bird with a message. That means that unconscious control over transformation extends to the weapons of heroes. For Marinette and Adrien communication means smartphone with navigation, messages, trackers and Bluetooth earbuds. That's why magic gives them smart weapons. Su Han's words prove that the invention of the space potion is not possible. Unless space potion was also subjected to unconscious control over transformation. People couldn't imagine the possibility of space travel in Ancient Egypt, but they could imagine flight. So, perhaps, for heroes back then space potion simply meant wings.

We've established that heroes don't need oxygen. So, a potion isn't necessary for this. The ability to fly also could be achieved through conscious transformation.

That's all for this part of analysis. Let me know what you think. Stay tuned for the next meta. See you!

[agustdiv1ne]

thank you + milestone!!

damn, never thought we'd get here, did we?

in all honesty, it's been a pretty shit year. march 'til now has felt like the same month on repeat with tiny tweaks to make it all so much worse. but i'm not here to complain about the worst parts of this year, i'm here to celebrate the best ones.

this was the year that i finally started writing, that i was finally spurred to open a google doc and just type away until a tiny work of fiction stared back at me. my first one was 1k words, a rant to get all of my emotions off of my chest with an idol as my muse. it felt...great, though it also felt a bit odd writing after being an avid reader for years. i always did prefer essays to creative writing, but this year definitely changed that perspective.

i wrote that first blurb along with another fic in late july, and in early august, i asked my friends if i should post them. om august 3rd, i changed this blog from a fic rec to a fic writing blog just like that. i regret none of it.

it's been nearly five months since i revamped this blog and i couldn't be more grateful for the support i have gotten from all of you, whether it be a kind comment, a like, a reblog, all of it. i never thought anyone would like my content, but i've been proven severely wrong by this community. from my irls that are on here, to my lovely mutuals and followers, to those i've talked to a lil bit on this hellsite, to the writers whose fics i absolutely adore, to those who have left a like or a comment on one of my fics, i want to say thank you from the very bottom of my heart ♡

have a happy and healthy new year! i love and appreciate every single one of you!!

though i'm painfully bad at writing letters and getting all sappy, i wanted to write them anyways hahaha let's goooo

to @hwaddict:

my irl best friend!! my partner in crime!!!! i love you sm carly, and there are not enough words in this world for me to describe the extent of my love. you have been there for me during my lowest moments, you've seen me cry, and i don't cry in front of many ppl. i trust you with my life and i'm so glad that we became friends back in middle school bc you are one reasons that spur me to keep going. i can't wait to see where life takes us and know that while i might not always be able to be there physically (especially with college right around the corner), i will always be there for you in any way i can be. again i love you and i can't wait to conquer next year with you ♡♡

to @hopejanaee:

hope!! hobi!!! one of my irls! though we just became friends earlier this year, it feels like we've been friends for ages. it's crazy how close we grew so quickly but i am so grateful to have you in my life. you never fail to make me laugh whenever we're together and you're so chaotic but in such a good way hahaha. you were the one who got me into writing with your own wonderful fics so thank yoi for that. i'm so happy that we became friends because you're so kind and caring and ahhhhhh i love u sm ♡

to @oikawasmilkbread:

we talked for like 0.2 seconds but you are so kind and hella cool!! it was nice having random conversations with you and i'm so glad you randomly dmed me bc i am shy and i have 0 idea how to start conversations with anyone lmao. i always smile when i see you in my notifs! i hope you have a happy new year!!! ♡

to @luthenia:

i know you're on hiatus but seeing you in my notifs always excites me hahaha. we never talk but you are so supportive of everyone in this community and i just wanted to shout you out for that! your memes are top tier LMAO and i can't wait for when you come back, happy new year ♡

to @starsforten:

we also talked for approximately 1 second but it was so fun talking to you about astrology stuff (virgo sun libra rising gang hahahaha) and those teuta matoshi dresses! you are so nice and easy to talk to and i hope your new year is happy and fruitful! ♡

i recommend every single one of these blogs for their amazing content!! i added some of my favorite fics as i'm a whore for great writing hahaaaa

@kinktae

waterloo — a masterpiece! taehyung is so bitter at the beginning and it's adorable seeing how y/n breaks his tough shell. loved this from beginning to the end ♡

hot rod — the 50s slang, the dynamic between hoseok and y/n...*chef's kiss*

@untaemedqueen

welcome to seoul land — werewolf!namjoon really got me going, 100/10 would recommend

graceful gods — this is one of my all-time favorites, greek god!jungkook has my brain going brrrr

@shadowsremedy + @therealmintedmango

support system — adorable!! this is a hybrid!yoongi fic i really enjoy, and the series isn't over yet! check it out~

@bratkook

tear you apart — demon!taehyung...holy shit. i was speechless

@tatertotthethot

the doms next door — THIS SERIES OMG, i've read each part at least five times already. taekook got me acting UP

scream (posted to @yandere-society) — a really cool take on the movie scream with jungkook, yandere fics don't always appeal to me but this one absolutely did

@ateezmakemeweep

broken — the immense ache i felt in my chest while reading this, but i loved both parts with a burning passion. san is so sweet in this :')

@atinybrew

dirty free for all — the ULTIMATE demon!san fic. the writing is absolutely immaculate and this is the first fic that had me blushing down my mf ARMS

rice milk lattes and bryophytes roads — another san fic admittedly because i'm whipped for san lol. anyways, this was cute and hot at the same time and best friend!yunho made my double biasing ass that much happier

@seacottons

pan — an adorable peter pan!hongjoong fic, it had my heart going achhfhsjfjsjf

sir kiss me — circus au with san holy hell i loved every twist and turn of this

@actuallythatwaspromise

bad romance — one of my favorite yunho fics ever, punk rock!yunho x nerd!reader has my entire heart

aurora garden center and desire ink — florist!mingi had me uwuing for the entire fic, this was adorable and i loved it sm

@yeonjuncore

every single fic on this blog is an absolute masterpiece, i swear

the devil's little angel — THIS IS ONE OF MY ULTIMATE FAVORITES, demon!yeonjun had me screaming and it was just so fun to read and i loved every single second of it so much that i've read it nearly ten times now. so go read it, you won't regret it!

the boy with the horns — another of my ultimate favorites (i told you, their writing is just that amazing), woodland fey!soobin just had me going so soft :(( i literally sobbed at one point, that's how invested i was

bleeding heart — the tension between vampire!yeonjun and vampire slayer!reader had me screeching

curtain call — i have a sad crush vampire!soobin

i love you, always — this felt so..bittersweet? taehyun loves y/n so much, i lowkey cried while reading this

@angelfic

the art of (mis)communication — i am a whore for both reconciliation and yeonjun, 100000/10 pls read this i beg of you

@angelictaehyun

growing pains — ahhh once again a yeonjun fic, my chest hurt a lil bit at some points but it was so sweet!!

@neovisioned

bed of spiderwebs — spiderman!mark has my heart screeching, i loved every second of it ♡

eddie ate dynamite — johnny suh coming for my throat yet again

cupid victorious — cupid!jaehyun :'))) definitely one of my favorites!!

@domjaehyun

quarantine chronicles — ok if you haven't read this or the part two yet then you're missing out big time!! the tension, the buildup, every single part of this fic was just *chef's kiss* but multiply thay by a million

all these years — every single moment of this felt so nostalgic and the ending was so sweet :')

@caiuscassiuss

muse — i keep going back to this one constantly, the angst in this phenomenal and i love artist!taeyong sm here

@neoct-zen

loverboy — HOT, AMAZING, I SCREAMED. the blurbs that accompany this are also top-tier i recommend reading each and every one!!

@moondustis

pink + white — i'm so soft for mark i stg, this was the cutest thing ever

@loviejaehyun

can't avoid this feeling — hockey player!mark is the best thing ever

all tied up — i just- screamed as i read this bc professor!jaehyun is too hot goodbye

@hopejanaee

incapable — this is one of the best yoongi fics i've ever read ngl, it's not completed quite yet but the parts that have been posted are top tier!!

breathless — THIS. I LOVED THIS. yuta is just so hfjshhfhshfnsn and i love this sm

@hwaddict

melting point — big boy mingiiii, 100/10 would recommend

@okayau

house next to mine — frat boy!yeonjun rly got me going, cute and hot at the same time ahhhhbfnsnnf

youth — ADORABLE, yeonjun's confession is peak i love it here

run away — how many yeonjun fics can i fit in this post? (answer: a lot) definitely one of my favorite harry potter aus!! it was awesome seeing how their relationship changed throughout the years and perhaps i teared up a little at the end :'))

@starrychannies

baby steps — ONE OF ALL-TIME MY FAVORITE FICS ON THIS SITE, every single part is so well-written and ahhhhhfhdhhf chan makes me feel some type of way

my stupid — another yeonjun fic! angsty but v cute at the end :')

@baekhvuns

this youth of craziness — 40k words of pure gold, this fic is absolutely one of my favorite san fics ever!!

replacement — prince!ten makes my brain go brrrr, i love how the y/n just speaks her mind here

@masterninjacow

untitled project — i saw soulmate au with mark and i knew would already love it, and i did! pizza boy!mark at that, amazing and i adored it

more amazing blogs!!: @galaxteez, @poutybinz, @lustjoong, @bloominghigh

these are just a few of the fics and blogs i found this year, find more on my fic rec blog @agustdiv1ne-recs!! (my thumbs are starting to hurt i'm so sorry bfjshfhsh)

wrapping up each month since august since that's when i actually started posting LMAO

☆ august

03: good enough — chan

03: bloodsucker — seonghwa

04: cutie — san

09: veloxrotaphobia — mingi

19: want — changbin

21: numb — yunho

100 follower special — i reached 100 followers towards the end of august, my first ever milestone :') also my first ever time taking requests, 'twas very fun ♡

☆ september

03: on camera — jungkook

☆ october

27: oh, worm? — namjoon

31: demon days — san

☆ november

10: a letter to my love — xiaojun

23: bad for u — jaehyun

27: home sweet home — yeonjun

☆ december

christmas bash 2020 — my brain went hey what if you did this- and i listened so here's 17 holiday fics hahahaa (not all of them are out yet but i'm working on it!!)

things i plan to release in 2021!!

☆ sunflower — jimin

☆ cross — yeonjun

☆ landslide — seonghwa

☆ nice save — san

☆ red — hyunjin

☆ a secret series (that will be revealed once i plan everything) — ateez

☆ 4 unrelated secret fics oOoOoo — will i reveal them? you'll just have to wait and see ;)

there will definitely be more posted! these are the ones that are going to be my priority at first, but my imagination is always churning so expect a lot more :)) check out all of non-secret wips here!

i hit 500 followers a couple days ago! i nearly screamed when i saw that LMAO. thank you so much for liking my content because i work hella hard on it :') sometimes i feel like i don't deserve y'all really, but @hwaddict will yell at me if i say that so ig i take it back hfhshhdhg

a post for celebrating this milestone will come as soon as i finish up the rest of my christmas fics!! sorry that i'm so slow :( (hint: my requests will be open, so look out for it!)

so yeah!! that's it, sorry for the painfully long post (i'm sorry to my thumbs for typing this whole thing out </3). thank you to everyone who read this far!! i hope everyone has a happy and healthy new year, and in the words of txt's cover, fuck 2020. may 2021 be a much better year for all of us!!!

much love,

ashlee ♡

[weabbynormalblog]

You got this!

Failure is a good thing...What???

In my experience it breeds strength, courage, conviction and belief in oneself!

That's right every step count; even if it leads to failure. Just another learning moment.

Perfection is something we all strive for at one time or another. The error free post, the ultimate cake, meal, artwork, skill, trade or even apparently phone call. We all do our best however our best often isn't always perfect. Success at anything usually requires commitment, a solid plan, consistency, knowledge and a wide variety of skills in order to successfully achieve realistic goals. Usually an optimistic big picture approach and managing daily details are the steps that lead to overall sucess. As humans we fail time and time again, success can seem fleeting and quite elusive at times especially when frustrated.

Failure really is only a complete failure when you give up forever. Like Anthony Bourdane. Suicide ideation is not "normal" behavior or anywhere near healthy thoughts. It's the red flag. It's the failure to thrive while being overwhelmed consistently.

Happiness and joy is available to everyone, regardless of situation or station. It's a choice, another option a better possibility.

It is attainable! Take responsibility for your own happiness!!! Don't let yourself be defeated by one little moment in a bazillion of moments that come in a lifetime! Success and failure are a matter of belief. Stop that degrading story playing in your head, that you'll never be better. Start saying what is easy, what is working; go down that check list if you have to. Never measure your self worth to others. We are all unique while being quite alike too. Weight the positives and agree to improvement on the negatives. It's all good! Change your vocabulary and thinking to a more positive mind set. We do ourselves a great disservice by comparing and analyzing who we are in retrospect to others. Judging our performance, philosophy, our earnings and material wealth. We are way more than the 10% of what people see.

I learnt by failing that I don't need to be successful or perfect at anything to be happy. I can enjoy the moment regardless of handicap or pain. That's a big realization in terms of adaptation and self acceptance! My therapist said pay attention to my thoughts, all of them, not just the good ones. And I am. I went to Giant Tiger to pick up some odds and ends and was stuck in a huge line at the check out. My endurance somewhat fleeting. I employ stretching and moving around while waiting. Extreme pain in my head, just breath slow in out sit in the pain and breath through it. I survived. Learning curve don't go at lunch time silly. Understanding our pain, our limits and abilities is a good start in the healing process. It's a big deal so I'm sharing it with you. It helps and works. Practicing mindfulness, energy management, a shelf life for your emotions, good sleep hygiene, the Yoga and a process free raw food diet. I even imagine it all chipping away at my disease. I'm starting to see results now in shifting my mind set. There may not be a "cure" for CFS mental illness etc or what terrible situation has befallen you, there's still hope for you to change, adapt and to create your own joy. Try out something that will bring some relief, you never know where that will lead you. Little by little, tiny beautiful bunches of happiness and success. So I'm going to keep working my schedule no matter how grim and depressed I am. I'm going to continue to rock my adaptation by not giving in to the fear of failure, lack or the unknown. I put in the time to go out to socialize and play music once a month because it's good for me even if I have to leave early or don't even get there. There was still lots of little steps of success throughout my day. I've been working hard on my stamina and energy consumption by practicing the standing, walking, singing and playing guitar. I was caught off guard by the crippling physical exhaustion. Next time I'll try an afternoon meditation session or even a power nap on music outing night. The smooth ride was over. Overdoing any type of activity can leave me in jeopardy of injury. Like loosing physical balance; I've injured myself enough to know no thank you body, I'm listening. Often I'm in bad shape for days with flu like/sun burn/tin man symptoms.

Ok fine, body you win this one.

Failure aside, I still got out of the house. I interacted with other humans and did something that brings me joy. I find when I'm not attached to the outcome, results or expectations, my moments can be enjoyable in spite of my body. Suddenly any down time becomes worth the little bit of enjoyment. Its about the quality of those moments and those were some good quality moments. Not a complete failure as I first thought. Yes it was depressing that I couldn't physically get through 3 songs this time. What does this inability means for my physical health in the future? Then the fear old me. New me however what I did perform, I did do justice! This is to be expected, the no more energy thing. This is my normal now. It's the nature of the beast. And I was pacing myself. I guess it doesn't matter that my practicing was successful or consistent because it suddenly became nul and void up against illness. I got to be realistic here. Yes CFS is a real fucking thing! It's like the narrow mindedness that comes with "flat worlders" have friends all over the globe. My CFS/TBI clearly cut me to the quick. It let me know who's bitch I really am. No more performing of any kind tonight! The old me: I was so bummed, ready to pack it all in, no cure; minimal enjoyment and relief. Ensuing some kind of abusive self harm behavior, the old me. The new me: Ok, so it was too much for me this time. Maybe not the next. It happens to lots of people. I know exactly how Lady Gaga feels. My body and mind gave out mid performance. Severe dry mouth, balancing and memory issues. It was awkward. I was somewhat dumbfounded. I had to stop singing and playing guitar or I was going to wipe out on the stage damaging lots of nice equipment and instruments. I can't keep putting myself at risk of falling. With chronic fatigue (insert auto immun/mental disorder)etc. Safety is an issue. You literally have no choice. Your tiered body/what's broken wins. Sometimes in extreme ways. I'll rest, dust myself off and give it another go another day.

I'll keep at it. I have too! I will not let illness dictate my life. I'll find a way to live with it, cure it or kill it which ever comes first.

For love the of myself, my offspring and all the others suffering.

[edward-richtofen-queen]

Beyond The Veil [Part 2 of 2]

Masterlist

Part 1 ← | Part 2 ↓

✼⋅•⋅•⋅⊱•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•∙∘❆༓❆∘∙•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⊰⋅•⋅•⋅✼

After moments of unbearable pain, Julie woke up covered in dried tears and distress—had Susie just betrayed her in the blink of an eye without even letting her explain? The pain eased away into nothing as she numbly stared into the fire, unpleasant memories from her first kill flooding back into her mind.

Muffled cries left Julie's lips as an unfamiliar man grabbed her by the back of her jacket as a hand cupped over her mouth. It had been a dare from Frank that lead them here, and now Julie was being held against her will by what seemed to be the janitor. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she struggled to get free from the man's grasp only to hear the man cry in pain as she was let go and met with cold tile to her face.

"We've got to kill him now—go on," Frank demands, Julie standing up to stare at the now bleeding man on the floor. Joey was the first to react, swiping the blade from Frank's bloodied hand and stabbing the cleaner in his ribs as he let out a pained whine. Joey gestured the knife to Susie, whom only shook her head. "I—I can't do it," She whispered, looking away from the knife and the body. Frank clenched his teeth, his voice raised as he spoke, "We've got to finish what we started, Susie! You can't pussy out now, it's too late."

Julie took the knife from Joey, closing her eyes and sliding the blade into the man's chest as he sobbed out once more—quietly this time. Susie, with eyes wide looked at Julie with scared eyes as Frank took her hands and stabbed the knife into the man's throat to end his suffering. Silence filled the small store as they sat there to admire or grimace, Frank barking orders as Julie and Susie mopped while Joey helped Frank with the body. Murder was never an easy task as they loaded the body into the back of Joey's truck, leaving the crime scene as if nothing ever happened.

Ever since that day, Julie was wasn't very keen of surprises—let alone being hugged or touched from behind or on her back.

Julie hadn't kept track of time, her eyes glistening with tears and reflecting the licking flames of the campfire. Her face had been wiped of all emotions, a hollow shell of a woman. Patting her dried tears from her face, her lips were drawn in a line as she stared blankly up at the sky. Her heart ached and pulsed in pain, having been betrayed by one of her own friends. "Julie?" The sweet southern accent made her internal pain ease—she decided that mute was the way to go, using her eye quite like her mouth was used.

Eyeing the singer, Kate flinched back—her face was blank but her eyes were a wreck of emotions. Sadness pitted with anger and despair pooled in her orbs as she turned away, having looked to long. "You're upset," Kate spoke, sitting close but not too close to Julie for a little comfort. Julie was still an unknown factor—she was never emotional during trials, and everyone acted different when expressing varying emotions. "I understand, Julie. I'm guessing one of your previous friends was in trial?" Kate gave a light frown as she saw Julie flinch—they must've done something to her to make her act this way.

"Anythin' I can do ta' help?" She asked sweetly again, pulling out her guitar to strum some type of ambience to ease the tension laying a blanket over the camp. Julie shook her head as Claudette came to sit next to Kate. "Is she okay?" Her soft sweet voice made Julie glance over at the chocolate colored girl, a sweet little smile painting her face as she waved to Julie. Fixing her glasses with a finger, Kate shook her head. "She's a bit upset so I'm tryin' ta' help," The singer explains as Claudette nods.

Gasping, Claudette disappears for a moment and returns with an object in her hands. Julie stiffened as an the object was placed on her head, a giggle escaping the botanist's lips. "You look adorable in a flower crown, sweetie," She spoke, Julie's fingers feeling up her hair to touch the weaved crown. A small little smile made Kate beam, holding out a hand for Julie to take. "You feel a little better? I want ya' ta' meet the others properly and stay for girl's night—you up for it?"

Feeling a little more confidence, Julie took the hand as both woman led her to a corner of the campsite.

❉ ╤╤╤╤ ✿ ╤╤╤╤ ❉

Julie had lost count of the trials she went through, going up killers she remembered making friends with. She was sacrificed once or twice for being altruistic, but was still happy to play out of her comfort zone for a little while. Kate, Claudette and Nea became her temporary friends.

Alas, she was being taken back to murder once more.

The small group of girls had been chatting, making conversation about The Shape or Michael after a scare of him having Infinite Tier Three. Trials were done for the day and decided to do something fun as Claudette taught Julie how to weave crowns and Julie learned a couple more songs. When fog crept to Julie's leg, a sense of sadness fell over her. "It looks like it's my time," She announced, fixing her hoodie as they gave her a side hug. "Will you let us go when we see you again?" Nea asks jokingly, fixing the beanie atop her head as Julie laughed. "I'll think about it. I'll see you in trial!"

With glowing orange and black claws, The Entity dropped her back in Ormond—her home. The air was flooded with white, cold bliss spilling on her pale fingertips—how she missed home. Walking into the large resort, the crackling of the old fashioned oven/fireplace brought the only warmth they had in this cold land but she was used to it. Her mask in place over here face, she felt tears rushing down her eyes again—how would she be able to keep her composure now that her best friend had the audacity to kill her in cold blood? Had being around her that long not given her enough time to memorize her features?

Sitting on the couches around the fireplace sat Joey and Frank, whom now noticed their pale friend. "Julia?" Frank's warms voice made Julie break into a sob, throwing herself between both men and removing her mask to place on the table. Joey and Frank gave each other worried glances as her face dived for Joey's neck, sloppy wet tears dripping down his skin. Scooting closer, Frank and Joey comforted Julie as she wept and wept. Whispering words of comfort, her tears eventually ran dry as she grew tired, Joey holding her close as she cuddled him. Wiping her tears from her cheeks, she looked peacefully as she gave a broken kind of smile as she slept.

"She was gone for a full day and came back crying," Frank muttered to Joey as Julie sniffled in her sleep, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Susie said something about an imposter—you think it was Julie but Susie couldn't remember?" Joey asked as Frank shrugged, stroking her hair with cautious fingers. "Probably—you think Susie has Capgras? She knows Julie by her voice but she does tend to forget her face." Joey huffed, holding Julie as she whispered in her sleep.

❉ ╤╤╤╤ ✿ ╤╤╤╤ ❉

When Julie awoke, her fingers brushed up against leather fabric and the smell of sandalwood filled her nose—she has been cuddling with Joey, hadn't she? "Morning, Sunshine," Joey's voice spoke from above her, legs sprawled and tangled together as she looked up at him. "Hey Joey," She smiled as he hummed, pressing a kiss to her cheek as she blushed. "How long was I out?" Julie asked as Joey flipped his wrist to look at his watch. "A good hour or so—you good?" He asked as she nodded, removing herself from his embrace.

Walking up the steps, Julie completely ignored the pink haired girl as she stopped at the door. Susie immediately went after her as she leaned against the railing, a regretful look on her face. "Julie?" Susie's voice came to her as no response was given a hefty sigh leaving her pink lips. "Julie, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't believe you—you were suddenly gone and you didn't look like you to me." Susie explained, fingers twirling her thumbs as she went to speak again only to not have words. A twitch in Julie's eye made Susie flinch slightly, her sudden movements angered and serious.

"You're telling me in all the time that we've been friends, you forgot what I looked like?" Tears dripped down her cheeks as she spoke, fingers holding her arms as she shook. "You said you'd never hurt me, Susie. You broke your promise to me—our friendship promise! How am I supposed to believe you anymore? I even quivered when you touched my back! You know I hate it when people touch my back! Ever since that night, I can't be touched on the back. I thought you knew this, because i thought you knew me!" Sobs racked her frame as she finished venting, fingers covering her eyes as guilt washed over Susie.

Julie hadn't been this emotional in a very long time, anxiety of being judged always a thing to worry about in high school. Multiple steps hurried up the stairs as Susie hugged Julie gently, careful around her back. "I was an idiot, I didn't tell you guys I had Capgras Syndrome—I didn't think it would come back to haunt me. I'm sorry, Jules," Susie sniffled, pressing a friendly kiss to her cheeks as she stifled her sobs. Joey's chocolate hands cupped Julie's cheeks, Julie leaning into his warmth as Frank held her hands.

"I love you—all of you," Julie spoke, blinking away her tears and smiling warmly. Frank chuckled, pecking her lips. "Of course—we're The Legion, loving each other through and through. Isn't that right?" Joey and Susie hummed in agreement as she melted into their combined embraces.

Maybe that back thing didn't matter that much anymore...

[talusnegotiations]

An unusual gait in a familiar place

West End has, far back in my memory, had old, old houses with doors fancy as hell. Some are right on the street, hidden by shrubbery, shade-loving plants, or overgrown ivy. And others, in traditional Queenslander style, have doors visible from afar, across a yard with a waist-high fence (of some kind, be it metal chicken wire or white pickets). The doors stand, an homage to the passing of time.

Of course, as the suburb continues along its gentrification journey, the houses and properties adhere to a homogenous minimalistic, greyish, depressingly treeless fashion (where there are electronic speakers blaring out nondescript but grating music from tiered, tightly manicured garden beds*). But, when walking along the terribly kept, mostly narrow pathways (proverbial weeds; trees, roots sticking out of cracks in the concrete), you can still spot different doors every few houses or so.

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Walking while disabled

Let me tell you, the newer pathways (corporate-sponsored) are no better for accessibility than the shitty but loveable old, narrow ones which have grown woefully uneven over decades of use.

It is so weird to me, to be the current version of myself, and to be thrust back into such an unsteady walking pattern again. That isn't very clear, is it? Okay.

When I was diagnosed at 4 years old, I was walking on my toes and only my toes. It had taken me a long time to get used to the upright bipedal way of life, but not for lack of trying. Then, as the years went on and I undertook rigorous physical therapy, I also had many operations to improve my gait and stability. There was a lot of physical pain, and a lot of falling onto the ground. I would give you an analogy, but right now that feels like a waste of time. Suffice to say, I always had scraped knees and bruised elbows. My Nonna kept iodine in the kitchen cupboard with the analgesics to disinfect the perpetual wounds on my palms. See, I'd use my hands to break my fall each time, and I had two symmetrical wounds in the hearts of my palms, left and right, like accidental stigmata. Unlike the simpler cuts and bruises, these wounds didn't close up for years, and eventually became infected; I had to go to the doctor for medicine to 'fix' the problem, but the doctor said that as long as I was using my hands to break my fall, it was unlikely that the infection would heal.

The problem was that, because I tripped on my toes a lot, I was always falling forwards, not backwards. And the only way to stop face-planting was to use my hands to break the fall. Childhood lasts a long time, doesn't it?^

Eventually, I was wearing these bulky bandages to cushion my hands during the day, and only took them off at night to sleep. The wounds had time to rest, no longer being directly assaulted by gravel, bitumen, concrete or dirt. Nonna kept the iodine just in case.

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Oh how the times have changed

Did you know there are no pictures of West End at night (that are free for me to use on this blog)? I would go and take pictures myself, but I'd need a support worker to come with me, and I'd need confidence and maybe a different set of life experiences, but that's just life, isn't it.

As an adult, my walking was so good because of all the work that I'd done, alongside my parents and grandparents, surgeons and treating team, to improve my gait. I didn't fall often. But that's changed, because my ankle had other plans.

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Grief is a funny thing. If I had a whole lifetime--and I do--there would not be enough time to unpack it.

Where were we? Ah. Yes, the recent days. So, I was in West End the other night for a thing with some friends, and a bunch of acquaintances as well. And, it's been years, literal years, since I have walked the streets of West End. Actually that's a lie. It's been 18 months (but 18 months and a car crash and a broken ankle will get you somewhere completely different to just 18 months and no bloody car crash; you'll feel it).

These friends of mine, they're not faint-hearted people. They've been around a while. We've gone through fashion trends, heartbreaks, dance battles, tragedy, birthdays, deathdays, highlights and lowlights, betrayal, survival, picnics, alcohol-fuelled love affairs etc. Just a lot, okay? But my walking in all those years was not what it is now.

We used to walk the river some days. We'd go all the way from the city across the bridge to South Bank and onto Boundary Street to go to the book store or the pub. We'd walk blocks and blocks of busy Brisbane streets, no worries. We'd walk from my house to the park and back to my house again. We'd go on the back streets to my favourite Vietnamese place, up the steepest incline in the suburb, and, tipsy after dinner or a gig, walk back the way we came. After all my childhood operations and consistent physical therapy and exercise, I'd fall a lot less. And, I'd fall mostly at home and never in front of people, unless I were drunk.

My stride was sure, and I was incredibly confident in my own abilities. And then the car crash. So, a few nights ago, in shoes that didn't feel that great but were incredibly sensible, and in the midst of a semi-cold Brisbane night, we walked along Boundary Street in the dark, with only streetlights and shoplights to guide the way. My steps painfully slow, my voice unsure, and my (well-cursed) thoughts in a pattern of self-recognition, self-hatred, and concentration. I haven't experienced that level of slowness in front of acquaintances in years, and it was the first time, ever, that I'd walked the main street of West End in such a state.

It brings to mind a level of loathing that would probably be hard to fathom for the average person. Indeed, it is hard to articulate (and very rarely acknowledged or understood by those around me when I talk about it openly--why, I don't know). My friends, God bless, are very patient and generous with their time, their support. But, only having met in adulthood, they've never really seen me struggle like this.

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Get a taxi home or whatever

On the way back home from the evening, I was on the threshold of panic. What was wrong with me? Why was I so upset, embarrassed? The worry of walking, the literal worry, creates in me an anxiety and fear that is easier to conquer when I can have verbal reassurances form others that I'm doing well, that I'm not going to fall, and that they will be there to (literally, physically) help me.

Some months ago, when I was still using a wheelchair to mobilise, I had a lady, a near-stranger, tell me I was brave and sooo good to directly tell people what I needed (because, she said, she could never do that). We were at pottery, and I had asked a fellow student, Jan, if I could borrow her tools, and if she could bring me a mug of water. Everyone at pottery who knew me was explicit in their offers of assistance, but I was new to this group and the stranger (by way of being a stranger) didn't know me at all. I replied to the stranger, explaining that it was neither brave nor, as she put it, an indication of my confidence and 'goodness.' As if asking for things that you need--basic, essential needs--is a skill to be worked on. For me, it is a necessity of life.

When I was a child, my needs were unique in that they were the needs of a child with disability. Meaning that the average adult who hadn't come across a disabled kid had no idea what I needed or wanted. They had no idea why I was crying or if I were in pain. I learned to doggedly request things that I needed. I learned to ask 'why' a lot. I learned to speak loudly and often, because if I didn't, most adults would forget that I was slower, prone to falling, at greater risk of drowning. Some adults (and I won't name the ones I remember, because let's face it, it wasn't some adults; it was most adults) decided that I was asking for things just to be difficult, contrary, or selfishly divert attention away from other, less troublesome children. They actively denied me assistance, not to be cruel, but, as was the way for so many children, to teach me a lesson.

What did they teach me? I'm sure it was many things--too many to satisfy you at present. But, back to this lady at pottery. No, asking for things is not a luxury, I told her. She said she admired my outlook and wished that she could do the same. I didn't tell her that this approach of mine came only after ages of trying other things that failed, at the hand of a great and miserable mystery. That adults, teachers, relatives, and others (much older and stronger than me) went to great and ignorant lengths to reprimand me and publicly humiliate me so that I would learn the lesson.

I ask for things so directly because I need them, simple as that. After years of repeating myself, of being confused, being denied, and feeling ashamed of myself for needing extra things that non-disabled people don't necessarily see or understand, I have a habit of stubbornly ignoring the whitehot shame, guilt and grief I feel at having to ask my closest friends and loved ones for physical assistance. Now, people might tell me not to feel that way anymore, that they 'get me' or that I'm okay now and I'm allowed to have needs. Often they say they could never tell that I was having such a hard time navigating this endlessly inaccessible community (yay, narrow unkempt pathways).

Not enough love is given to the observant people who see that I need help, and do the task without drawing much attention to it. I'd much prefer to do things for myself, just so we're clear. But, when required (which is more often these days), I ask for what I need. Most of the time, it's something little that might seem inconsequential to you. The most obvious one is Can we please slow down? when we are walking together, or Can I hold your arm? when walking on uneven pathways, especially at night.

You might find this jarring and awkward at first. But, please don't. It's not special. It's part of life.

*electronic speakers! buried among plants! what have we come to? what about the plants' own language?

^whoever says they want to go back to being a child probably didn't experience much emotional turmoil when they were little (disclaimer: that's just a guess; i'm not the authority on other people or their life experiences)