#but then when we (general culture) talk about fat people it's “why don't you exercise more and eat less?” “why don't you control yourself?��

[neverendingford]

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[angiethewitch]

god stop whining about weight loss stuff. just lose some weight fatty. stop being a little piggy

I know I said I don't answer hate mail but I have something to say about this.

trigger warning.

see, this is what society does. I read somewhere "society says no to anorexia, but yes to anorexic bodies". and when you think about it, its true. as shown by the diet ads very clearly advertising disordered eating. they're not just advertising diets, they're advertising harm. a little while back I also wrote a post about how companies are capitalising on peoples worries (specifically womens worries) about their weight during quarantine. on that post I got people saying its because I'm fat, I need to exercise, etc.

society says yes to skinny, but no thank you to eating disorders. why is that? because disorders aren't sexy. you can't sexualise an eating disorder. society says they love girls who eat, but oh wait only if they're skinny. and if you're not thin, its open season. people suggest diets and workouts and doctors treat you differently. if you're not thin, you aren't a person anymore, you become your weight.

and so when a woman talks about this, about diet culture, about the immense pressures women face to be tiny, peoples immediate reaction is to insult that woman. skinny girls never talk about it, they think. if a woman is angry about how society treats her like a doll, she's fat, she's ugly, there HAS to be something wrong with her.

(I know men face pressures too, but its not the same, because a womans entire worth is put down to her looks, whereas men are allowed to exist naturally. i know they face pressures but please don't derail this)

a woman talks about the pressures she faces as a woman in this world and your first reaction is to tell her to shut up and lose some weight. if you know me and my blog, anon, you'd know im still in recovery from an eating disorder that robbed me of my health for many years. but that doesn't matter. now I've told you this, I'm sure you have a picture of a frail girl in your mind, and you'll feel bad. People often do when i mention it. you know why? because again, you're saying yes to an anorexic body. but it doesn't matter. if I was 200 stone, it still wouldn't make it okay for you to say this to me. because, again, if a woman is too loud about the issues she faces, she's fat, she's undesirable, she should shut up and stop eating. when a skinny woman talks about feminism, people applaud her. when a fat woman talks about feminism, it's just because she can't get laid. its because she's ugly. its because, because, because...

when I talk about these things, and it makes you so angry that you feel the need to go onto my blog, press the anonymous button, and insult me, I suggest you look inside. why do you respond in that way? why is your instinct to tell a woman to shut up? what internalised misogyny do you need to address, or externalised misogyny? I also want you to think about what it is that upsets you about fat women. we all have it. in fact, its one of our evolutionary advantages. generally, women do better in famine, because our fat stores take longer to burn through. historically, women have always done better during times of food shortage. so ladies, love your fat. love your cellulite. it keeps you alive.

consider these points, anon. I sincerely suggest you dig deep and understand why you react this way to women talking about how frustrated they are with these things.

I do hope you find a satisfactory conclusion, and I hope you can work towards being less hateful.

[vavuska]

If you do quick search on Google Imagine for draw of chubby persons, you will see that most of the subjects are drawn with sad expressions, while their slim and athletic alter egos are happy and smiling.

Why they are sad? Because they are “overweight” and they have low self-esteem.

Mmmm. They have low self-esteem because society told them — and us — that if our bodies doesn't match with standards imposed by mainstream media, we have no value: we are not attractive, ambitious or, yes, smart. We have no talent and no one will love us. That's not true, obviously.

Being slim and athletic won't make necessarly us happy.

Some girls who have a natural thin body structure for genetic reasons, have find their selves slotted into a footnote: “Oh yeah, and if you’re naturally skinny—must be nice—you’ve got a fast metabolism and stuff so, ya know, just eat more.”

That “just eat more” advice would work fine for most people, but the fact that they aren’t most people is precisely why they’re being given that advice in the first place, and also why that advice is rather naive. For most people, eating lots of food means gaining weight. Maybe the person who heard that thing, is actually eating a lot and they probably even like it (but they don't got fat).

What most people don’t realize is that telling someone to eat more is as silly as us telling someone other, “Just eat less—duh.” That’s not going to solve any problems: it is just making them feel uncomfortable with their body.

Again, if you search for "skinny girls draw" on Google Imagine, you will find smiling persons, that show proudly an apple, compared with chubby sad persons with fuzzy drinks and hamburgers.

Ok. A complete meal against a fruit. Wow.

Both being underweight that being overweight could cause or be caused by depression.

Although depression amongst overweight people is more common in women than men, both genders are equally prone to feeling depressed when it comes to thin people.

The study was conducted by Seoul National University of Medicine, but experts have not concluded whether being skinny is a cause or symptom of depression.

They pointed out that depressed people may be more likely to lose - or gain - weight, or it could be that being thin - or overweight - makes people depressed.

However there are gender differences.

“It seems that the current ideal of thinness affects women more than their male counterparts and causes more psychological distress in women, which can, in turn, lead to depression,” the researchers said.

“In contrast, men who are overweight showed a significantly decreased risk of depression.”

Dr Agnes Ayton, vice-chairman of the eating disorders faculty at the Royal College of Psychiatrists, said: “This large study confirms that optimal nutrition is fundamentally important for physical and mental health. Both being underweight and obese is associated with an increased risk of depression.”

“It is an important finding, as people with eating disorders often assume that losing weight will improve their happiness. This study shows that the opposite is true and malnutrition has a detrimental effect on people's mood. Maintaining a healthy weight is essential for good mental health.”

Ok, so... An happy life and an happy mental health is very connected with a good self-esteem than the actual “healthy weight”. People with healthy weight can have a low self-esteem and depression too.

I admit that I lack a lot of confidence and do not feel good about myself most of the time.

And when low self-esteem becomes a long-term problem, it can have a harmful effect on our mental health and our day-to-day lives.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves.

When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about life in general. It makes us better able to deal with life's ups and downs.

When our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a more negative and critical light. We also feel less able to take on the challenges that life throws at us.

If you have low self-esteem or confidence, you may hide yourself away from social situations, stop trying new things, and avoid things you find challenging.

In the short term, avoiding challenging and difficult situations might make you feel safe.

In the longer term, this can backfire because it reinforces your underlying doubts and fears. It teaches you the unhelpful rule that the only way to cope is by avoiding things.

Living with low self-esteem can harm your mental health and lead to problems such as depression and anxiety.

You may also develop unhelpful habits, such as smoking and drinking too much, as a way of coping. Or searching for comfort in food.

People with a good self-esteem are able to feel good about themselves for who they are, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their abilities and accomplishments. They also acknowledge that while they’re not perfect and have faults, those faults don’t play an overwhelming or irrationally large role in their lives or their own self-image (how you see yourself).

HERE SOME USEFUL TIPS TO RAISE YOUR SELF-ESTEEM:

Our self-image is deeply connect with our body image.

What is body image?

Body image is defined as an individual construct that is influenced by mixed feelings and ideas about one’s own appearance.

However, because there is a complex overlap between emotions and self-perception, body image is not always reflective of how an individual actually appears. Like self-esteem, body image can be distorted or inflated, relatively accurate or slightly ignored depending on the individual.

If you’re an individual who has struggled with poor body image and depression, it can be difficult to distinguish which came first.

Understanding where negative self-talk begins can be an overwhelming endeavor. Many people have become so accustomed to the emphasis our culture places on appearance that obsessing about it seems normal. In addition to this, there are unlimited ways an individual’s self-esteem and the way they perceive their body can be influenced.

Women are generally characterized by being concerned about attractiveness, and less satisfied with their appearance based on achieving unrealistic standards of thinness. While the foundations for acceptable appearance may be built in adolescence, as adults we often find attractiveness correlated with success, competency or happiness. This message, however it may be played out in media, can reinforce scrutiny about body image and dissatisfaction or unhappiness at not meeting the standard.

This by no means indicates that men are not vulnerable to the cycles of negative body image and depression. In fact, it’s estimated that roughly 45% of men are unhappy with their bodies (Better Health). The same factors and pressures exist for men, but the ways in which the disorders will express themselves can be different.

Men, for example, can be more likely to engage in over-exercising, generally being pushed toward the use and effectiveness of their body being likened to a machine.

There is a correlation between poor body image and eating behaviors. When people feel poorly about themselves and have a negative body image, they are more likely to be susceptible to disordered eating behavior (Cargill, 2012). The negative self-talk and appraisal of one’s body and appearance, coupled with depression, can lead to a negative cycle of living.

HERE YOU CAN FIND SOME USEFUL TIPS ABOUT RAISING YOUR SELF-IMAGE:

The article above give precious advice:

- Give yourself some daily task: I know that can be difficult, but it will give a purpose to your day and it will make you fell better, if you completed your "to do" list. Search for quotes that will inspire you to give your best. Set realistic expectations for yourself: Consciously think how reasonable and manageable your goals are before striving for them, remembering that life in general is imperfect. Recognise there is a huge difference between failing at something you do and being a failure as a person. Don’t confuse the two. Redefine failure, and keep trying. When you have low self-esteem, it’s common to think of yourself as a complete and utter failure. But failure is part of success. Failure doesn’t characterize you as a person or determine your self-worth.

- Develop your interests: When you’re depressed and your self-esteem feels like it’s sinking daily, it’s easy to overlook your passions. Take the time to “write a list of things you used to love to do and stopped doing along with things you always wanted to do but haven’t done yet.”

For exemple, if you loved to draw, then take your time, a paper and draw something inspire you.

- Do some exercise: that don't means that you must to start to have hard gym training, it have a cost, and you could be not ready for that (myself avoid gyms because I don't want to be judged for my body), but you can make some movement in other ways: instead of moving your care, you can walk to reach near destination or use a bike, if you have one. One of the best parts of my day is biking to university: when I'm nervous, it calms me.

That's why I decided to turn that negative narration in a positive one: I edited the pics to meke people happier and give them various interests!

[simontheweirdo]

Thank you so much for your advice! I'm currently planning on making a Web comic and I'm just starting to develop the main three protagonists (I haven't even given them names yet) and I was looking for a way to better represent one of the protagonists, who's a vampire teenager girl who rebels against her vampire family, but instead of becoming goth or punk or another darker alt subculture, since that's what's considered normal and acceptable for vampires withing their culture, she starts wearing clothes with bright or pastel colours, and listening to pop music and corny love songs as well as hanging out with diurnal species within that world (always protecting herself from the sun, of course). She always has this super hyper personality, always excited to learn and make friends to the point of being annoying to some, but she can also be extremely dangerous when you mess with her or the people she loves and a little stubborn when an idea gets on her mind and can get mad pretty easily with her family for the smallest things... And she also happens to be fat. And I didn't want to portray that last part of her in a way that could harm others.

I've been extremely skinny all my life. In many instances, too skinny for it to be healthy. Specially now that I'm losing a lot of weight really quickly even when I try to eat well. It has gotten to the point of my doctor recommending I don't do any kind of physical exercise besides going for walks until we can discover why I'm losing so much weight, and the people around me won't stop commenting on how they can see the silhouette of my bones and other shit I don't wanna hear.

Since I've never been above barely average weight, I really needed someone to help me represent fat people better because I'm scared I'm gonna screw up and make them another stereotype or frame their bodies in a way that might be insulting for people with the same body type.

My point is, being skinny isn't always the healthiest alternative and people should stop commenting on other people's bodies if they aren't gonna say anything nice. And even if you are going to say something you consider nice, you should still only comment on someone's body if they are close to you and sometimes you should avoid saying anything about their appearance unless they ask for your opinion.

I know fat people can be strong, energetic and healthy too because my boyfriend is like that. He's fat but he's also really strong and can lift me up with only one arm if he wants to. He's extremely hard working and if he has money to spare, he enjoys using it to buy someone he loves a gift or giving it up to help a family member or a friend in need. He also always wakes up early and is up all day long doing stuff around the house or spending time with other people (unless he's exhausted from overworking himself) and he's so soft and big and strong and handsome and I love him so much! I love to cuddle next to him because he's always so warm and huggable and since he's much bigger than me (he's a bit taller than me and has broad shoulders and big hands besides generally having more body mass) I feel really safe around him and when he hugs me I feel like everything's fine at least while I'm in his arms. I just love him so much! I could talk all day long about how much I love him and how perfect I think his body is.

Meanwhile, I never have energy and sometimes prefer to sleep all day than having to exist in this world, I can't even carry the small fan in my room to the living room without my arms aching for like three days and I can let my room become a disgusting mess before feeling it's necessary to clean it up. If my boyfriend and I decided to race from my house to the next block, not only would he win, but he wouldn't have broken a sweat while I would be lying on the floor trying desperately to catch my breath.

That goes without saying I'm generally more attracted to chubbier people than extremely skinny or muscular people. That doesn't mean I don't think those people aren't attractive, just that fat people are more of my type. It just feels easier and more comfortable for me to hug someone who's soft and squishy than someone who's body is all hard or full of sharp edges (not that it isn't pleasant to hug someone with a different body type as well. Hugs are always nice to receive if they're given by a person you love :3).

I just think all of these stereotypes are dumb and I'd like to see a strong and energetic fat character (like my boyfriend :3) and a weak and lazy skinny character (like me!) for a change. And more good fat characters in general! There aren't even a small fraction of fat characters in every single piece of media that are just normal people compared to the hundreds that are an ulgy stereotype. Maybe then my friends will stop feeling bad about their bodies even though they don't have anything wrong with them and are beautiful. I just feel like the world would be a better place with less stereotypes in media.

Challenging Fatphobic Language in Writing: Some Alternative Vocabularies

So I’m currently working on a short story for an explicitly fat-positive anthology, and it’s making me realize just how little language I have readily at hand for describing large bodies in positive terms! 

Putting aside for a moment the whole debate over HAES and fat positivity and everything else – and if you clown on this post, I’m simply going to block you, that’s not what we’re here for – sometimes you just want to write a story with a fat person in it and you need some adjectives/descriptive language that isn’t overtly gross and/or fetishistic. 

Well, I’ve got you, fam. I have compiled this handy list of descriptive terms and phrases for describing big bodies with positive connotations.

Why am I doing this? 

Because this:

And this: 

And frankly, we all deserve better. So let’s go. 

Positive (and Neutral) Adjectives for Fatness

Abundant

Ample

Big

Broad

Buxom

Considerable

Curvy

Full

Generous

Heavy

Large

Luscious

Plentiful

Plump

Replete

Robust

Round

Rubenesque

Soft

Solid

Stocky

Substantial

Thick

Voluptuous

Zaftig

Movement Verbs Evoking Fatness

Amble

Bounce

Lope

Mosey

Pad

Plod

Pound

Ramble

Scoot

Shuffle

Trundle

Some Points to Keep In Mind

A big part of challenging fatphobia in writing is inverting or subverting stereotypes. Here are a few lazy/played-out tropes and things to think about: 

Fat = Greedy I think we can all agree at this point that there are better ways to show greed – such as excessive wealth, entitlement, selfishness, and so forth. There is really no need to use fatness or gluttony as a metaphor for these concepts. Just write your greedy character doing greedy things and resist the urge to make them also be fat. If you need a strong visual metaphor, go for opulence and wealth instead. 

Fat = Gross  A ton of media, especially horror, loves making fat people slovenly, smelly, covered in food stains, farting and belching, etc. etc. So if you want a more positive representation, just presenting the character as clean, well-dressed, tidy, etc. actually goes a very long way. Consider playing against type by making your fat character dapper or fastidious about other elements of their appearance, like their hair, or wearing very nice custom-fitted clothes (or even just “dressing up” a bit more than everyone else). 

Fat = Out of Shape Yes, absolutely, many fat people are also out of shape couch potatoes. But so are a lot of skinny people. And fat people absolutely can be athletic – go google “fat athletes” for several lists of them if you don’t believe me! Sure, you probably won’t find a ton of fat long-distance runners, but you’ll definitely find plenty of hefty weight lifters, fighters, folks with physical jobs, etc. A lot of super muscular people are also carrying extra fat, and that is in fact way more common and natural than the super-defined, well-cut muscles you see on TV. Keep that in mind the next time you’re writing an army of strong hand-to-hand combatants – they’re likely to be physically big, not in a bulging muscle He-Man way but more of an “absolute unit” way. Keep in mind, too, that even regular folks packing extra pounds will often tend to be a lot stronger (on account of spending every day carrying extra weight!) You can be fat and graceful, fat and strong, fat and with endurance. Just something to keep in mind. 

Fat = Pig  Pigs have a reputation for being huge, dirty, smelly, garbage-eating slobby creatures, and “disgusting fat pig” and “porker” and their ilk have been insults against big people for a long time. Of course, in reality pigs are also super smart, highly social (and fucking terrifying) but that’s not usually waht gets invoked when people think of them! Really, avoiding animal language when talking about people is often a good idea (since animal comparisons can be dehumanizing), but if you are going to evoke an animal, go with something else. Like a seal (super cute, very graceful in its natural environment) or a bear (big and solid and intimidating) or a bull elk (thick and majestic). 

Fat = Ugly  Fat people can be beautiful. I mean, sure, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and inner beauty is a thing and all that – but that’s not what I’m talking about. I mean that fat bodies are great! They’re warm and soft and huggable. They’re big and solid and comforting. They can be strong and protective. They can be super-feminine and curvy. Cute as a button or powerful and demanding with their presence. 

Obviously dismantling fatphobia is a whole big (ha, ha) topic all on its own, and there’s a ton more to think about. But this is at least something to get you started! 

Context matters a whole lot in description – words can be positive or negative based on how they’re utilized! But these are at least some terms intended to be a bit less loaded with negative baggage than those often used in less flattering descriptions. 

Have you read a book with a fat character who had a great or interesting description? Please reblog, I’d love to see how other authors have handled it! 

[janiedean]

I'm the anon who said you don't glorify obesity. Look I don't know anything about that ship y'all keep referring to and I don't know who "Hunk" is or whatever, I'm talking in general terms. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT SHIPPING OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT just to clarify. I think it's wrong that people glorify being skinny but I don't think glorifying obesity is any better (I'm talking about more than overweight - ACTUALLY OBESE)

I’m probably not explaining myself properly but I think people should be able to ship whatever they want, the shipping was never my point. I just think the way people on the internet have been going on like “Fat women are goddesses!!! Real women have curves!!! If you don’t agree you’re fatphobic!!!” is wrong. I have been hospitalized twice for anorexia, I know how being skinny is glorified but I don’t think switching it around so it becomes “being obese is totally awesome and if you say otherwise you’re a horrible fatphobe” is any better. I’m sorry for sending you so many messages, I’ll stop now.

okay so GIVEN THAT WE ALREADY CLARIFIED OURSELVES ON THE MISUNDERSTANDING: the problem is that we were actually talking about shipping XD and the other anon decided it had to be about health but like the problem in general is that as usual (on tumblr and I guess in the US because it’s mostly US beauty standards I’m seeing thrown around) is that there’s no middle way in anything. I mean, like:

body shaming is a thing. in general. the problem is that fatshaming is, like, a thing that is more culturally spread than the contrary even if in some countries (ie italy) there’s this concept that if you’re skinnier than a size 42 (I guess it’s like an S or small M) you’re omg so unhealthy please EAT SOME PUT MEAT ON YOUR BONES WHY DO U HATE GOOD FOOD, but it’s more of an older generation thing. like, I’ve had problems with weight bc when I was in freaking elementary school people would go like ‘omg you’re so fat’ at me and I thought I was and then I looked at some pictures years later and I was like ‘… wtf I was perfectly fine what the hell’ and there’s a general implication that fat/overweight = unhealthy when it’s not necessarily the case.

the problem is that when it comes to body positivity there is like literally zero distinction between curvy, overweight, fat and obese which are not the same thing, and there is zero distinction between body positivity and promote a healthy lifestyle. I mean, according to US standards someone who’s fat would be… like… normal here? a size M is seen as perfectly regular stuff but from what I see of US sizes, M is like OMG I’M FAT already, which… like. here it’s maybe curvy. also being some 3/4kgs overweight never killed anyone. but since I see ZERO DISTINCTION here, it’s all thrown in the same bag and it’s the exact same for people who have 3 kgs more than average, 10, 25, 50 or freaking 200. which is obviously not the same.

also, there is the complete lack of realizing what it means to be healthy and to not be thin. like, as has been said already it’s absolutely not a guarantee that being thin or skinny means that you’re healthy (I had a friend who used to be chubby, then got sick with a freaking chronic disease and came out of it with a body that ended up finding her a job as a fashion model but SHE STILL WAS HEALTHIER BEFORE THE FREAKING CHRONIC DISEASE), I’ve struggled with my extra kgs all my damned life and whenever I go on vacation with friends that are thinner than me but move around less or don’t go to the gym and the likes I am the one who can walk for longer or gets tired less and I have better blood tests than my father who’s at his ideal weight and takes five pills for a bunch of different stuff. some people are just heavier as a body type but if it’s their body and it’s not due to shitty eating or lack of exercise or whatever then they’re not unhealthy. obviously severely obese people who can’t walk for more than twenty minutes without feeling like fainting aren’t in that category but like never mind that for a moment, the problem is that your size doesn’t automatically mean unhealthy and having 20 extra kgs on you makes you fat maybe but not freaking obese.

THEN, on body positivity: there is a healthy difference between NOT BEING A JERK and spreading awareness re healthy habits. like, society/media and the likes shouldn’t promote being thin, they should promote being healthy ie eating well and exercising, not THIN = HEALTHY. as stated you can be healthy without being thin. (or, as the character we were talking about that you weren’t referencing, you can be mostly muscle and have some chub over it and THAT’S NOT BEING OBESE XD at the same time, if someone is overweight or obese or whatever for any reason whatsoever you can’t go at them and tell them omg go lose some weight you loser THAT’S HORRIBLE. I mean, there’s a difference between saying that one should try to be as healthy as possible and go like OMG YOU’RE FAT YOU’RE HORRIBLE. if body positivity means not shaming someone else for their body then go the fuck for it. the problem is that then according to people saying ‘okay but if you can’t walk to the supermarket and back without feeling short of breath and you might get heart diseases maybe you should consider dropping some extra weight for your own benefit’ is fatphobic which… lolno. not everyone is fat because of bad habits and they shouldn’t have people making them feel bad even if they are but assuming that the above sentence (especially when doctors recommend you to do more exercise) is inherently fatphobic imo is ridiculous. if my doctor tells me I should lose some weight then I’m gonna consider it and I’m not gonna feel like he’s *phobic*, if someone goes like ‘omg you’re so fat you’ll never find a guy who wants you’, that is fatphobic. like, THERE’S A DIFFERENCE. (at the same time people who are skinny/thinner than average shouldn’t get told all the time OMG PUT SOME MEAT ON THAT SKELETON REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES like fuck’s sake respect all body types. being a real woman has zero to do with how much meat you have on you.) what should be glorified is be healthy and be happy with whatever body type you have as long as it doesn’t cause you problems and at that point nicely try to make those problems right while you’re encouraged without shaming anyone in the process. (which also means: gdi don’t put other people down if they’re trying to gain weight or lose it, ffs.)

now, the problem with shipping: the thing is - and I swear to god I don’t wanna sound like a sjw now but I hope the previous essay has made clear how I feel in general on this issue - that, in my experience, fat/overweight characters especially if they’re male are seen as… either the laughing stock of the group or the harmless nerd or anyway never as sexual objects. every damned time I ship something where a guy is overweight/fat (notable exceptions jacob and queenie from fantastic beasts which tbh really was a nice surprise for the part where the fat guy who’s also a sweetheart hooks up with the bombshell and it’s THE BEST ROMANCE OF ALL good go you man) right as rain there’s rarely fic for it least of all porn, and even if there is someone will go around saying the fat character isn’t attractive or deserving of getting some. when I say ‘sam tarly syndrome’ I mean ‘fat/overweight guy is a sweetheart who has a lot of nice ships they could be in but they get thoroughly ignored or if it happens in canon fandom lols at it’. I mean, I basically had to start the jon/sam tag on my own (if you see the fics at the beginning it’s honestly sad to see TEN of mine all after the other), once on a kinkmeme I was like ‘okay doing it’ at a pwp prompt and I got as an answer OMG I WAS HOPING YOU’D SEE THIS NO ONE ELSE IN THIS FANDOM WRITES PORN FOR THESE TWO and whenever people discuss canon sex scenes…. the only one in the book that always gets lol-ed at is sam and gilly’s in spite of the fact that okay, it’s badly written, but ALL of the sex scenes in asoiaf except one are badly written. it’s not worse than the average. but sam getting some because a relatively hot girl wants him and the sex - omg! - actually being somewhat not vanilla is seen as… like… OMG HAHAHAHAHA I CAN’T BELIEVE HE’S GETTING SOME OMG HOW EMBARRASSING as if this guy being overweight means he can’t be seen as a palatable partner when it comes to having a sex life. same as the other anon being like ‘omg hunk (the person we were referring) is fat and unhealthy so he’s not good enough for the other person’ is… exactly the same. I mean, this hunk character is admittedly the one person in that bunch I’d actually date irl same as sam is the one character from asoiaf I’d date irl the others are completely out of the question, but since they’re *fat* naaaaah? and guess what sam/WHOEVER is a lot less popular than ships which make a lot less sense but are two hot characters stashed together bc they’re hot. (jaime/sansa has like 300+ fics and jon/sam is still under 100 but okay sure tell me it’s because it makes no sense. lol no. and being that the only porn around for those two was written by me and maybe two/three other people says all.)

at that point then people go like ‘well but it’s because they’re unhealthy’ and that is when it becomes ridiculous. because going with the above problem re fatshaming being a thing that happens on a societal level, it becomes IF YOU’RE FAT YOU’RE NOT SEXUALLY DESIRABLE AND NO ONE SHOULD WANT YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR UNHEALTHY WEIGHT, which mixes stuff that doesn’t even go together with being sexually desirable which is something inherently personal. as in: if someone who’s unhealthily fat for whichever reason has a significant other who loves them and their body guess what THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO HAVE A SEXUAL LIFE AND TO BANG PEOPLE/GET BANGED TO THEIR PLEASURE. because when it comes to preferences in the bedroom or loving a person, size can be a thing - some people have certain body shapes preferences and so on - or it cannot be a thing at all and anyway it doesn’t matter when it comes to your right to be seen as desirable/being desirable. people of all sizes can be desirable or sexy or definitely sexually available regardless of the size - like everyone is freaking allowed to be sexually desirable even if they don’t conform to whichever is the beauty canon around.

and given that I personally got told more than once also by admittedly well-meaning people that they wouldn’t ever consider seeing me as desirable because I was overweight or not as thin as other hot person around our class or even better, the aforementioned friend who turned out to be a fashion model using that as some coping mechanism (as in, she didn’t like being sick obv. but since she had come out of it with a scorching hot physique while I had then undiagnosed pcos so I was struggling with weight all the damned time and I was healthy otherwise... er let’s say that she used to tell me stuff like ‘ah well look at you and look at me instead how much better looking I am’ which obviously was in order to make herself feel better about her illness but sure as hell didn’t help me feeling good about myself), I’m honestly fucking tired of this whole trend in shipping where overweight/fat people don’t get any from their hot best friends with whom they’re absolutely shippable but the hot friends get shipped instead with the most improbable hot people that happens in 90% of fandoms I run into. because it’s just a reflection of how irl if you’re overweight a lot of the time people will say that your weight puts you out of the goddamned dating field and everyone deserves to be in there, damn it, regardless of their size. it has nothing to do with being healthy or unhealthy. and saying shit like ‘omg X is fat they’re not good enough for Y’ is really fucking old already. 

 tldr: I hope I made clear why I got pissed at the other anon and what I think of the whole matter. obviously no one has to glorify being *unhealthy* (extreme obesity and anorexia are both unhealthy) and no one needs to put other groups down while doing it (looking at you n*icki m*inaj - like sorry but according to my standards she’s thin, having a nice ass doesn’t make you *fat* or curvy, and going like FUCK ALL THOSE SKINNY BITCHES is the exact contrary of body positivity tbh). but at the same time everyone deserves to be seen as sexually desirable and it’s bullshit that the current narrative depicts being overweight as something undesirable. both in society and in fandom.

/peace