#but then there's the whole Sam trusting Ruby while Dean doesn't vs the whole Dean trusting Benny while Sam doesn't kind of thing

[piptoost]

Spoilers ig for season 8 because, like me, I know there are still some people watching the show a little late 😌

CAN I RANT because I feel like season 8 is such a weird season. Like genuinely what actually happens in season 8 other than the weird thing between Dean and Benny (my beloved by the way! the man is incapable of doing wrong I love him)???

Now listen. Yeah, Sam's in the wrong for leaving and not coming back to help Kevin or not trying to find a way for Dean to get out of Purgatory, but so is Dean! For Dean to give Sam shit for following Ruby and letting her basically guide their way straight to the apocalypse when Dean almost basically did the same thing with Benny and kept it from Sam is crazy. And sure yeah, it goes deeper and Dean and Benny had a bond and all that, but look at it from my perspective. Is Sam not allowed to be at least somewhat suspicious of Benny? Can he not also have trust issues when it comes to this sort of thing because it has backfired on them before? Gut feelings aside--which is not what I'm talking about, I'm talking about basic equality and broken trust between brothers because of something similar that has happened BEFORE--the whole thing just makes me question Dean's morality in all this because how the fUCK is that supposed to work???

Anyway, for my first rewatch, I remember that I have free will and can skip season 8 but there IS still lore in season 8 so I can't 😔 besides, I need some Benny moments I miss him dearly, and ignoring everything about how out of character it was for Sam to hit that dog and fall in love with what's-her-face, it was a sweet moment and I kinda liked watching it play out. Even though, the more I think about it, it's really like. Not Sam. It's like a non-canon spin-off version of Sam. So I can't really ignore it. But it's whatever lmao I didn't write season 8 😭 ANYWAYYYYYY. It's one thing to call Sam out on his bullshit. But he was trying. He really was. And so it's a completely different thing when Dean decides to fucking fake text Sam as the lady just to make him see that she was happy without him. Like okay I get the sentiment, but that's fucked up. Because Sam did try. And he was trying to make up for the mistakes he made throughout the year Dean was gone. But the motherfucker just had to add something extra into that pot.

haha Dean is cool but sometimes I really hate his guts.

Edit: some of my info was wrong lmao so I had to fix it 🧍‍♀️ THANK YOU @somaliradfem FOR CORRECTING ME!!!

[kimodraw]

can you pleaseee tell us more about the jess was actually ruby headcanon?

I'm definitly not the first person to come up with it! I can't find the post where i first saw that headcannon though sorry.

So i always loved the reveal that Brady was possesed by a demon, and was the one who introduced Sam to Jess then killed her, right? Real traumatic, takes a relationship Sam trusted and crushes it, a cool tv moment. Basically the Jess as Ruby headcanon takes that whole thing and pushes it to its paroxism: Jess was possesed the whole time too. This means Ruby was a girlboss gaslighter who faked a relationship with sam two whole times! And he doesn't exactly get why he trusts her that easily, when he really shouldn't in s4, it's almost like he knows her already... She'd reveal it in her final s5 monologue (i drew a thing abt it a while ago (cw blood and nudity:under the cut) while gloating, and Sam's crushed right? It also plays into the idea of the forces of hell and heaven manipulating their lives from the start, which i think is one of the best theme in supernatural (destiny vs the rejection of it, free will and all that) I think sam's reaction to ruby's betrayal was a bit anticlimactic too? I'd have liked it if he liked her more, (maybe if even she liked him a little? idk but i would have loved them to have more depth (but hey, this is supernatural lol)), and thought about or mentionned her at all in s5 lmao. This is also why i'm still sad she never came back, my girl should have gotten to gloat more. It's really a fucked up headcannon because it means most of sam's relationship have an aspect of deceipt about them (counting dean for the gadreel thing, and cas for these tags:

hence the comic i did. Sorry for all the rambling, i have. a lot of sam thoughts, hope this was clear enough! Basically:

also!! a lot of my thinking on this emerged from my new favorite fanfic author: a_good_soldier on ao3! They deal with sam’s trauma in a completely gut wrenching way im in love with their writing