#but then Skarsgård hit me with this line and it made me go “oh. OH”

[dream-of-the-bitchless]

I am an appetite. Nothing more

Nosferatu (2024) — Robert Eggers

[b-skarsgard]

Pennywise has changed over the course of 27 years.

“He’s been doing this forever really, so he doesn’t change in the sense that you would look differently. He looks however he wants to look for any particular prey at the time, but I do think there’s a change,” the actor says.

Pennywise nourishes itself on fear, but The Losers Club made the creature taste that emotion for real when they brutalized it back into hiding.

“The arc of the first movie is that he, for the first time, experiences fear himself,” Skarsgård explains. “His last line — ‘Fear…’ — is him experiencing it for the first time, and he’s sort of shocked and perplexed and surprised. Like, what is this?”

Hitting Back

It’s like the bully, or the abusive parent or spouse finally getting punched back. That may save the victim in the short run, but the next attack is likely to be even more horrific as punishment. That’s where Pennywise’s deranged mind is when he resurrects.

“He’s inflicted fear on his prey, and he’s very focused on fear, but he’s never experienced it himself,” Skarsgård says. “Now he’s experienced something that he has been inflicting on others and … there’s a shift leading into the second movie.”

It was once a game to Pennywise, but the being is no longer simply delighting in the suffering he causes. He wants revenge. “It fuels hatred and anger towards the kids, who will be adults in this one, so I think there might be an even more vicious Pennywise,” Skarsgård teases. “He’s really going after it.”

Skarsgård also thinks It: Chapter Two will feature an even more bizarre version of the monster, pushing the limits of its mindbending manipulations. Twisting into the darkest things imaginable.

“There’s a lot to explore,” Skarsgård says. “You can change him or make him whackier, but he’s not really bound to continuity in the sense that a normal character would be. We can explore his unpredictability now that we’ve established the character for the audience. We can still sort of shock them.”

The thing that shocked him the most? The nightmares that came after he finished playing the character the first time.

Nightmare Visits

“After we wrapped, I was in my childhood home in Sweden, sitting having coffee with my mom at our kitchen table, and realized, ‘Oh, holy sh—, I don’t have to deal with this relationship anymore!’ It was a very quick shift of just feeling better, like, ‘Oh my God, I’m relieved that I don’t have to deal with the darkness of the character.’ I likened it to an exorcism – him exiting my body and getting rid of the Pennywise toxins.”

But after letting the clown into his head, Skarsgård found it hard to push him out.

“I was home, done with the movie, and I started having very strange and vivid Pennywise dreams. Every night, he came and visited.”

Appropriately, Pennywise took on different forms in these visions.

“It was in the shape of either me dealing with him, sort of Pennywise as a separate entity of me, and then also me as Pennywise in circumstances that I didn’t appreciate,” Skarsgård says. “Like, I’m Pennywise and I’m really upset that I’m out in public and people are looking at me.”

The actor is aware there is an evil interpretation to these dreams (Stephen King wrote a whole book, The Dark Half, about a fictional creation that comes to life independently to terrorize its creator), but Skarsgård thinks it was just his psyche’s way of gradually de-Pennywise-ing itself.

“This was a process of letting go of the monster,” he says. “It was amazing. It’s a daunting but exciting thing to sort of revisit him again.”

When he came time to returning to the monster’s form, they were already in touch in the dreamscape.

“I’m good with it,” the actor says. But who knows if Pennywise will follow him home again?

It: Chapter Two opens Sept. 6.

[ill-skillsgard]

Phoenix Rising, Part 4 - Valter Skarsgård

Title: Phoenix Rising

Description: The struggle for domination is paved with deceit and destructive lust as two enemies battle it out for control night after night.

Warning: 18+ swearing/mentions of rape/violence/femdom/DDLG leanings

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

My nerves were crackling like live wires when I walked into the work after having blatantly ditched Game Night. I already had my excuse picked out and ready to use for when Riley and Valter would no doubt call me out on leaving without saying anything at all. It was a fool-proof excuse and when I opened the front door with a copy of the store key that I had been entrusted with I saw two heads poke out from the back office where they hung around until it was time to open.

"Wow. So you're not dead, I see," Riley pointed out.

I gave a quick laugh and began to explain myself as they both watched me approach. Valter didn't say anything but I did feel his eyes stuck on me curiously. I couldn't help but watch his expression change when I told them my story.

"Hey, yeah... About that. I'm really sorry that happened. My sister called me and she was in a little bit of a slam. I had to go rescue her."

"I think you just didn't want to hang out in a room full of dudes," Valter interjected.

"No! It's not that. I really wanted to play with you guys. I'm telling you... My sister was on a bad date and sorry but... Family first." I lied about it so effortlessly it was almost concerning.

"She all right?" Riley asked.

"Yeah, definitely."

"You didn't return any texts or calls so I got pretty worried," Riley continued.

"Yeah, you should have seen him pacing around. He even left to go see if you had gotten hit by a car on the street or something. You gave this guy a legitimate scare!"

Riley back-handed Valter in the chest lightly. "I was just worried! I thought maybe she had gotten kidnapped!"

"Nah," Valter ran his hand through his hair and gave to me what I thought had been a wink. "She just doesn't have time for nerds like us, isn't that right Nixy?"

"Nix." I corrected him.

"Nixy is your nickname now," Valter claimed. "Nixy-cat."

I wanted to tell him that 'Nix' was already a nickname in itself but I didn't want to give away any details of myself that could potentially help him put together my identity the way I had with his. The night we had all spent playing Agents fo Carnage had been calm and I hadn't received any mildly-threatening sexual comments from Valter but I attributed that to him being surrounded by a group of other people. If it had just been us playing one on one I knew he would have kicked up the innuendo until it could be considered sexual assault.

In a way I almost missed it. I missed him calling me his pussycat and I wanted to hear him make kissing noises at me. I stood there thinking about all of the terribly inappropriate things he had said to me online and tried to picture the same words falling out of his mouth then but it was difficult. The way his big eyes shone and that innocent pout constantly adorning his face made it next to impossible for me to envision him saying anything even remotely obscene.

I knew he had it in him though and I had my sights set on making him run that mouth off like I had heard him do on AOC. I was almost giddy to start flirting with him as soon as Riley left us alone but that didn't happen as quickly as I had hoped. As soon as he opened the doors there was a line-up of customers.

It wasn't a problem to help people find what they were looking for but as soon as one person left another two showed up and by the time noon rolled around we were already knee-deep in sales. Riley was very pleased and had even joined us on the floor to help move along the constant flow of foot traffic. He was happy to see customers because it had been a dead week and we were due for some good sales.

Just before lunchtime, I was behind the counter and a man walked into the store carrying a canvas bag that was heavy with something. He hauled it up on the counter and eyed me queerly. He wasn't a very well put-together man what with his greasy unkempt hair and sores on his knuckles, arms and face. To me he looked like a textbook drug user and by the looks of his arm tracks it wasn't just light recreational use.

"You guys buy stuff here, right?" He asked.

"Yeah, sure. We buy video games and gaming accessories."

"Okay, cool. I have this game system that I pulled out of my mom's basement. She just died so... I'm going through her stuff and getting rid of some stuff. Are you interested?" He asked me.

"If you take it out I can hook it up and see if it works-"

"Oh, it works. I was just playing it."

"Didn't you say that you just pulled it out of your mom's basement?"

He nodded his head and wiped at his nose with the sleeve of his hoodie. The cuff of his sleeve was grimy with snot and whatever other muck he used his clothes to wipe up. My stomach became unsettled and when he pulled the system out of the bag I immediately recoiled. It looked like it hadn't been touched in years, not only that but it was absolutely filthy; caked in dirt and filth, stinking like a relic that had been buried inside of a heavy smoker's home for the better part of a decade.

"Um, sir... I can't take this."

"What?" He said loudly. "It works! Plug it in!"

"No... It's too beat up. I can't take something in this condition. You'll have to take to take it home and clean it up before I can even entertain the idea of purchasing it from you."

"Ain't that your job, girl? Don't they pay you to do that kind of shit?" His tone took a rather snarky and my defenses rose high when I took in a deep breath.

"They pay me to buy good quality gaming gear and this is... This is garbage." I tried to explain without letting too much of my displeasure show through.

"This is fucking bullshit, you know. This is false advertising! You know I had to walk from the other side of town to get here? I ain't even got money for a cab. So you're telling me that I have to walk all the way back home to clean this, to walk all the way back up here again? And what would you even give me for it?"

"At this rate," I said through clenched teeth. "Probably nothing."

"You have got to be fucking kidding me? Do you hear the mouth on this bitch!?" The man yelled, turning toward the inside of the store where people were calmly browsing. Suddenly, from over the cabinets, I saw Valter look over. The guy was still scoffing at me and started to act a little bit more erratically. It was then I backed up from the counter and made sure to put enough distance between myself and his arms.

"You're a fucking bitch, you know that!?"

When Valter turned the corner he approached the situation with caution. "Woah... Hang on there buddy. You can't be acting like that in here."

Valter had about a foot of height on the guy and when he screwed his eyebrows together he did look intimidating. Or at least I thought he did. I had never seen a mean expression on his face before.

"This place is a fucking joke. I'm trying to make some money here and this cunt won't take my stuff!"

The mean look on Valter's face deepened entirely and he took two steps towards the man, glowering like the insides of him had suddenly caught fire. "I'll ask you once to leave now and if I have to ask you twice I promise you it's not going to be good."

By that time the scene had attracted other customers and when Riley came out and realized that there was something that had everyone's attention he rushed to the front as well. The man started shoving all of the tangled cords back into his bag while saying terrible things about me under his breath. I saw Valter's hands ball up into fists and when Riley finally arrived the guy was already on his way out.

"What was that all about? Are you guys okay?" He asked.

"Yeah," Valter sighed. "Fine. That loser was just in here calling Nix names but I told him to beat it."

Riley rose his eyebrows, "what do you mean? Why didn't you come to get me first?"

"There was no time... The guy looked like he was about to take a swing at her," Valter motioned to where I was standing clutching my own arm for comfort.

"I know but... Things could have escalated!" Riley exclaimed.

"Nothing escalated... I made sure of that," Valter assured him.

"Yeah, Riley... Seriously. The guy was starting to get aggressive."

Riley eyed Valter incredulously and then turned his gaze to me. "Well, next time one of you wants to do my job just let me know so I can take the day off!"

"Dude... It's fine. Just as long as Nix is all good,"

Riley shook his head, "You could have gotten hurt."

Valter tilted his head at me with a smirk. "Nah, that guy couldn't stand a chance against me. Right Nixy-cat?"

Where's my little pussycat hiding, hm? Come out pussycat. Daddy wants to play and by play... I mean I'm going to completely wreck you.

"I could have handled the situation myself but thanks, V."

"All right, enough standing around then. Get to it," Riley dismissed.

I stayed behind the counter and watched as Riley returned to the back office where he liked to pretend to do work and Valter wandered away but not without shooting me another tilted glance with his lips curled up in a smile. All I could picture was him with a headset on, mocking me, harassing me, saying all kinds of things that he could only get away with because he was on the other side of a screen.

There had been some opportunities for me to get a conversation in with him but truth be told, I was kind of nervous. I sat on the knowledge of him that he did not know I had until the perfect opportunity came about. It was hard not to look at him in a certain light and that light had turned a dreamy, rosy colour. Every smile he flashed, each quirk of his eyebrows, any time he subconsciously ran his hand through his hair I couldn't help but watch him whether he was across the store or right next to me.

I started to marvel at his height more and found myself picturing scenarios that were far from wholesome. Fantasizing about him at work was an activity that I looked forward to because he was right there, unknowingly adding to my repertoire of sexy little things Valter did. Out of work, I got to listen to his voice as we battled it out for fourth place on the leaderboard.

All right kitten, one more game then I have to go to bed this time. I have work in the morning.

The thrill of my strange double life was cause to wake up in the morning with a smile on my face. I opened my phone and didn't see any messages but I did scroll through some social media platforms and saw that Valter had posted a selfie that he had taken of me, himself and Riley all squished together as I held up a factory sealed copy of the first Mario Bros game. All of us had mutually shared nerdgasms when the piece came in. None of us had ever seen a sealed copy of any Mario game before so it was a cause to freak out and post about it all over our media pages.

I stared at the both of us and I recalled taking the picture. I had cozied up to him and noticed the smell of his hoodie right away and how soft the material was when he accidentally grazed my cheek. My head only just reached his chest and he had slung his arm around me with Riley right up behind us flashing a goofy smile, pointing to the video game that had had all three of us in awe.

As much as I wanted to pursue Valter, I started to get nerves about it. In my head, there was still this weird separation between him and the guy I talked to almost every night on AOC. I knew they were the same person but the way he acted to my face versus how he acted online was like two sides of a coin. On one side, Vscars was this smooth, intimidating guy that liked to flirt and say horribly inappropriate things and on the other, Valter was as sweet as could be. He was polite and good with customers and when there was nobody around in the store he made lots of jokes and had this general aura of happiness around him.

I knew what I wanted and as I laid in bed staring at the photo of us together on my phone screen, I heard my inner voice screaming at me to make it happen.

There was another Game Night scheduled. By Riley's words, he had told me that it wasn't going to be just any regular night. It was going to be held at a new board game cafe that had just opened up downtown that Kyle had gotten opening-night reservations for. All of us were invited to come to play Dungeons and Dragons and when Riley brought it up to me in front of Valter I jumped on it.

"There's only a limited amount of seats so if you say you're going to come you really have to mean it this time," Riley poked fun at me since I had skipped out last time.

"I really mean it. You're coming to, right V?" I asked him as he pulled down his hood and revealed that he had gotten a haircut.

I felt my chest constrict and my stomach spasm when I first noticed his hair was noticeably shorter than the last time I'd seen him. It was neat and extra shiny and when he quirked his eyebrows at me I felt blood rush to my groin.

"I'll go. It's a wine cafe right?"

"Yeah, they serve wine there and beer. I was just going to shotgun beers in my car before going," Riley claimed.

"Oh, I love wine. I'm so in the mood for wine and DND," I enthused, hoping Valter would share in my avidity

He cocked a smirk at me, "You're not going to get another phone call and disappear?"

"No! I promise. I'm all yours!" I vowed.

Riley and Valter cast each other quick glances. It was just enough for me to figure out that perhaps I had been a topic of another conversation. I wasn't oblivious even if I hadn't listened to them talk about my on AOC. Riley had a thing for me and it was easy to tell. I knew that something like my manager having a crush on me could turn into a potentially bad situation so I knew I had to exercise stealth when it came to how I was going to play this little game I had developed for myself.

I was running behind on Game Night and as I drove downtown, I kept getting messages in our work group chat. Riley was growing restless. Eighty-percent of the messages that came through were his only punctuated by a few snarky remarks from the others. I hoped that my presence there wasn't misinterpreted by him. I clenched my jaw as I thought of all of the different ways the evening could turn out.

Luckily, things started to go so badly that it actually worked out for me.

As soon as I had arrived they were already two glasses deep each and still setting up for the game. I looked around the cafe and marveled at what I saw. Stacks of board games piled up on tables and shelves, fan-related artwork hung up on the walls and there was a large chalkboard menu drawn above the cash register. Not only did they serve wine, they also had beer on tap and a snack menu full of shareable appetizers and baked goods. Before going to the table I ordered myself two glasses of red wine and carefully hovered over to the table they were sitting at.

"You're actually here this time!" Riley exclaimed, teeth already wearing the light purple stain of wine.

"Yeah! Now I just have to catch up with you guys."

"I saved you a seat."

Riley pulled out the only chair left and it was between him and another guy I hadn't met yet that was unironically wearing a graphic polyester shirt with Japanese letters and a crouching samurai on the back. Valter was to the right of the samurai-guy and I wasn't particularly thrilled to not be sitting beside him but I knew I had to make do with what I had. If only I hadn't taken the time to change my outfit four or five times I could have been on time to choose a seat right next to him. Nevertheless, I sat down in my spot and set my two glasses of wine on the table in front of me.

"Who are those for?" Asked Riley, leaning over and pointing at the wine sloshing around in both glasses.

"They're for me," I lifted a glass up by the stem and sipped it.

"Oh! I thought you had brought one here for me," He teased.

I laughed uneasily and was glad when the conversation was taken over by the person that had been appointed Dungeon Master. He was a skinny kid with knobby elbows and ears that stuck out beneath a haircut that his mom must have given him. Other than that, he was tall and had a strangely deep voice that was ill-suited to his thin structure. His name was Liam and he had been working on his Dungeon Master routine since elementary school, or so he told us and I wholeheartedly believed that.

The guys had a professional board that was printed out, glossy and folded up into four squares for when not in use. Most of them had little 3D figurines of their characters meticulously crafted to actually look like the classes of their choosing. There were small statuettes of dark elves, orcs, warlocks and druids, all colours of twenty-sided dice and glasses upon glasses of wine lining the table. We were no doubt the biggest group in the cafe and within the din of the music (all sci-fi movie soundtracks) our game started. I had drawn a picture of a cloaked female Cleric with two long braids and popped it into a little plastic stand to use as my character. She wasn't as cool looking as the other figures but I got compliments on my illustration job.

Even though it was probably the lamest thing to possibly do on a Friday night, I got into the game and forgot about all of the nervousness that had come with me. All of them got right into character and I followed their lead, creating a personality and voice for my character as we went along.

Once in a while, Valter would lean back in his chair and look over at me to wiggle his eyebrows and raise his glass. He must have done that about a dozen times before he actually spoke to me from behind the chair of samurai guy whose name I had found out was Sam. "You're so good at this. You should go pro," he said with a smile before he licked his lips.

"I used to play in elementary school. I had all the books and we made our own boards. I think I still have some packed away in my closet," I laughed at myself.

The night pressed on through a dark cave where most of us lost our lives to a hoard of bandits protecting treasure they had stolen. It was fun to get immersed in the game but once in a while, we would take a pause to sip our wine, some of us choosing to switch to beer. Between the group, we must have consumed nearly a bottle each and the intoxication made for some hilariously quirky moves. A couple of the guys started getting too drunk, including Riley who had insisted he could drink us all under the table.

I jumped when Riley's hand landed on the center of my back and when he drunkenly noticed how hard I flinched he recoiled as well. "Oh, sorry Nix... I didn't mean to spook ya! Are you havin' fun?"

"Yeah, Rye. So much fun and by the looks of it, you are too," I pointed out.

"What, do I look drunk?" He asked, eyes half-lidded and cheeks aflame from all the red wine.

I nodded and when he frowned I laughed, "don't worry, I probably look drunk too."

"I think the only person that looks drunker than you is Valter!" Liam said, pointing a skinny finger towards the Swede with his eyes closed.

It was true. Valter was starting to nod off and when he heard his name he snapped up and rose his eyebrow, head lolling a little to the side. "Whatchu talkin' about, Willis?"

"Uh oh, he didn't drive here, did he?" I asked.

"Nah... At least... I don't think he did. Most of us took cabs or walked."

The game didn't make it to the last call, what with some of the guys needing to make it home before it became impossible to get a cab. The city we lived in was a college town heavily rooted in the art of partying and if you waited to call for a taxi after last call you were doomed to be waiting on a street corner for at least an hour. That was when the streets and sidewalks became littered with the clubs and bars' finest patrons, decked in their best heels or overpriced basketball sneakers, flashy watches, statement bracelets and brand name nighttime attire. Fights tended to break out and cop cars roamed freely waiting for something to throw down.

We had gathered up our things and waited outside of the bar, no doubt painting the picture of a wasted band of adult nerds that had chosen to play Dungeons and Dragons over popping molly at a dance club. That was okay though. I was happy with that. I had had a lot of fun with them and had made some new friends along the way.

"Come on, Nix, you want to share my cab?" Riley asked me when a bright orange checkered taxi pulled up in front of us.

"Oh," I hesitated. "No thanks. I drove here and unlike you all... I paced myself. But I'll see you at work on Monday!"

"That's right... I gave you the weekend off, didn't I?" He reminded himself.

"Thanks again. And thanks for inviting me out! I had a lot of fun."

"No problem. We should do this again sometime. Soon! Very soon." Riley drawled.

Laughing, I pointed at his cab whose driver had rolled down the window and was peering at us impatiently. "Go on, get home safe!" I called to him.

After people had gone off by ones or twos, Valter was left behind trying to look at his phone for something. I gradually inched toward him, hoping that he would notice me and say something.

"Fuck I can't... Call a cab. Can you call me a cab Nixy? Please? I can't fuckin' do technology right now," He handed his phone over to me and I accepted with only a small amount of indecision.

I stared at his black phone screen and huffed. "I can give you a ride home."

"Oh, cool! Yeah, let's do that," his words were strung together heavily by his accent and it took a lot out of me to pretend like I wasn't blushing as we walked together to my car.

When we got in and shut the doors I could smell his usual fresh-laundry scent and prickled as I turned the key in the ignition and backed out of the parking lot. I stayed focused on the road for a minute until I could get off the main street and when I turned to Valter to ask him for directions to his place I saw that he was passed out.

"Oh, no," I said to myself. "Valter? Are you awake?"

He mumbled something in Swedish and made a lame attempt at moving his hand to indicate that he was somewhat conscious.

"What's your address?" I asked him again.

"Twohundredfour."

"Two hundred and four what?"

"Let's just go to your house," He mumbled.

Again, I felt the rush of excitement pour over me like a bucket of hot water, wetting me and jolting me awake. I couldn't say anything so I bit my lip and made my way through the back streets to get home. Occasionally I would glance over at him and notice the way his bottom lip jutted out or how the light from the streetlamps made his blonde hair glisten.

It became increasingly obvious to me that Valter was far too drunk for me to justify trying to hook up with him. As much as I wanted to, my trained inner reason shouted at me that if I were to fuck him that night it would be a big mess. I was much soberer than him and when we arrived at my house I had to get out and open his door for him. He was heavily sedated by alcohol but was able to climb sloppily out of my car and throw his arm around me.

"Oh, this is nice. Where you live. So nice," he sang.

I laughed, "thanks, man. I try to do okay for myself."

I led him into my house and turned on a couple of lights. He stood there wobbling, tall and smirking like an idiot. I tried not to stare back at him but it was difficult when he was standing in the middle of my living room looking at all of my things.

"Nice headphones," he pointed at my expensive gaming headset, the one that I used to talk to him and he didn't even know it.

"Thanks," I said. "You need some water? I think you should probably have some."

"Sure," he agreed.

I filled two glasses of water and brought him one. He tipped his glass with mine and chugged it down. I watched his throat bob as he drained the glass and finished with a satisfied sigh.

"Show me your cool stuff. I want to see this infamous NES collection," he said.

"Oh... That's in my bedroom," I mentioned as if that were an inconvenience to the both of us.

Unbeknownst to him, I floated down the hallway, giddy with excitement that he was in my apartment, following me down my hallway to my bedroom. A mental round of applause was erupting in my head. When we got to my bedroom I hoped and prayed that I didn't have any stray panties laying around on the floor. I liked to keep my apartment relatively clean but living by myself had afforded me some textbook bachelorette laziness.

Once he saw my huge shelving unit stacked with game cartridges older than both of us he smiled and circled the room, reading some of the titles out loud and laughing at my large collection of Nintendo plushies.

"Do you have every amiibo ever made as well?" He asked me, poking at one of the figures collecting dust on a shelf.

"I don't think I have them all but... Pretty close."

"What a neat collection. How much do you think the NES games are worth?"

"In total? I tried calculating it once but with the values always fluctuating I would probably say at least a few thousand dollars. I could push that but... What for? I have no intention of selling it off anytime soon."

"So cool."

"Yeah."

He sat down on my bed and smiled up at me and I couldn't help but long to cup his face and kiss his luscious pink lips. He bit the inside of his cheek and reached his hand out to me. With a twisted smile, I approached him and he pulled me onto the bed beside him. He threaded his finger through the hair behind my ear and guided my face closer. When we kissed, it was slow and definitely laced with wine breath and desperation but Valter pulled back and bit down on his bottom lip.

"Nix... Nixy... I'm sorry," he apologized.

"For what?" I asked dreamily.

"I'm too wasted. I want to... Fuck. I want to do this but... I shouldn't."

"I know. I won't let you anyway because you're right. You are too drunk. I was kind of thinking that the whole time."

"Let's just sleep. Can we sleep? I'm sorry I'm a fucking wreck right now."

"Don't be sorry."

"I am though," he sighed as he laid down at the foot of my bed.

"No worries, V."

"Nixy-caaat. Nixy-cat."

I stood up and gathered an over-sized shirt from one of my drawers and a pair of loose pajama shorts to change into in the bathroom. When I got back Valter had shed his hoodie and laid on the right side of my bed, right up against the wall. He was already out, his mouth slightly open, hair falling over his closed eyes.

After turning off the lights, I climbed into bed beside him and turned to face away just so I didn't feel tempted to reach out and touch him again. He was so close and I was unsure if I would be able to fall asleep knowing that there was a foot of space between our bodies and that we had kissed. My heart hadn't stopped racing since the moment he walked through the door of my apartment and even as I laid there, painfully awake and internally screaming, I could feel the blood pumping.

It wasn't until his soft snores filled the room that I was lulled to sleep on the lip of my mattress and on the cusp of accomplishing a feat of pure sexual conquest.

[headoverhiddles]

All I Want For Juldagen [Bill Skarsgård x Reader]

Warnings: Nothing! Holiday fluff! 

Bill is a hopeless romantic. 

He tries to tell you he isn’t, but when he takes you out for candlelit dinners “because you look cute”, you beg to differ. Today, he’s got your hand in his, and you’re wrapped around his arm as you stroll by the water together, you in your toque and him with his own new black beanie on (after you made him ditch his grandpa paperboy hat, after much sulking). 

“So did you get what you needed today?” he asks. 

“Yep. I’m fully loaded,” you smile, referring to the shopping trip the two of you had taken today for Christmas– your boyfriend was off for a couple of months right now, as he had finished all the filming he needed to on the latest film he was in. You love that you’ll have him to yourself for a while. 

“My siblings and I are all throwing in to send dad and mum on a trip, and you’ve gotten them matching sweaters, so they’re covered,” Bill says. 

“I got Gustaf a tea set, Valter Far Cry 3, Alex a cactus because he always said he wanted one and I take all of his jokes seriously on purpose, and Elijah a gift card to Le Chateau,” you recount. 

“And I got your mom a honey-scented candle, your dad an Amazon gift card, and your dog a new antler bone,” he smiles, kissing your cheek. You giggle. 

“You know my family and my dog love you more than they love me, right?” you deadpan. 

“And I intend to keep it that way,” Bill nods, and you smack his arm lightly. The unspoken wondering hangs in the air of what each of you got the other person– you had gotten a box of Bill’s favourite Swedish candies, and made him a book of those cheesy coupons with ridiculously kinky favours inside like “you are entitled to watch me do the dishes naked” or “you are entitled to ten minutes of head while you do the vacuuming” which isn’t technically a great or physically practical privilege, but hey… you knew your boyfriend would get a kick out of them. You had mentioned a few things you were looking for this year, like a new tea towel for the stove or a new lampshade that didn’t have a thread hanging off it, but you always felt bad for asking Bill for any real gifty-type gift. 

He always insisted, and you always insisted right back that of course you wanted nothing more than a new toilet seat cover or a nice carpet for the foyer. Before now, Bill had chalked it up to you being really into interior decorating– that is, until he caught you today staring intently through the window of the jewellery store. He saw what you were looking at, but you had quickly assured him you were just browsing, keeping your daydreams to yourself. 

“Still gonna tell me you want a lampshade for Christmas?” Bill asks, finger rubbing circles into your palm as you keep walking. You look out over the water, the stars reflecting beautifully in it. 

“Well… I guess I can be a little naughty, and spring for a sexy pair of panties from Victoria’s Secret.”

He raises his eyebrows. “I don’t know, baby… that’s asking a lot… getting a little greedy there, I think." 

You giggle again, blushing, and he tilts you chin up, smile suddenly fading from his gorgeous lips as he stops you. 

"Hey. I would give you the world if you asked for it, you know that?"  You slowly nod, and stand up on your tippy toes to kiss him.  You two continue walking. 

-                                                                                                        

You roll over and sigh contentedly as Bill joins you in bed. He had just finished brushing his teeth after having his last cigarette of the day, and the two of you were settling in for a movie. 

"What do you wanna watch?” he murmurs, “We’ve got Elf… that old Moomin Christmas movie Alexander was in… The Santa Clause… Rudolph-" 

"Black Christmas,” you say, and he huffs a laugh. 

“I fully blame you if I can’t go to the bathroom tonight in fear of somebody strangling me with Christmas lights." 

"Come on, you know I like to watch this every year,” you pout. 

“If you can put up with my Christmas traditions, I can put up with yours,” he smiles, kissing your forehead, and you both turn to the screen. About halfway through, Bill looks down to find you asleep on his chest. He tries to keep watching just to say he did, but he’s too terrified, and turns it off to snuggle with you. You both fall asleep in each other’s arms.  It’s almost Christmas, and the tree is up. It’s got a combination of your decorations and his, yours being the little bells and snowflakes and Santa ornaments, and his being the traditional apples (fake ones), candles (plastic tea lights, so you didn’t burn the place down like so many Swedish people obviously did in the 16th century) and a few small gnomes that he had taken with him from his childhood home. It was a nice tree, you had to admit, and the decorations made it perfect. 

This year, your respective families were coming to visit you where you both lived (just outside of LA right now, convenient for Bill’s work), and you had already had your family over.

If you didn’t go to Sweden to visit, (which was always fun, especially the particularly appetizing anchovy and egg dish you got to eat with everyone, Gubbröra) Bill’s family usually came a little after Juldagen (Christmas Day) and closer to Annandag Jul (Boxing Day) as it was hard with all of Bill’s brothers to coordinate who was available when, who was shooting what when, etc. etc.. You did love when the Skarsgårds came and visited here though, especially with Stellan dressing up as Jultomten, knocking at the door with his sack of gifts. Every time, Bill insisted you both were way too old for that, and every time Alexander, like the dutiful eldest son he is, always reminded everyone that nobody was too old for Santa Claus. 

Your parents loved the gifts, as did your dog, and once again, Bill had won their hearts. You remember watching him talk to your dad in private, and thought back to when your parents used to tell you how they hoped you would find someone right for you.  Bill feels like that guy. 

- Three days before Juldagen, you both are busy with preparations.

“I’m so glad our families aren’t annoying,” you remark, pouring some eggnog. 

“Well, mine’s annoying. Yours isn’t,” Bill smiles, adjusting the two stockings over the fireplace. 

“I love your family,” you say, sticking your tongue out, and he shrugs.  “Glad one of us does.” He laughs out loud. “No, I agree. I’m glad I don’t have to worry about a mother in law from hell." 

"In law?” you ask in curiosity, and he quickly snaps his gaze up. 

“Uh, hypothetically." 

"Oh,” you nod, and he clears his throat. 

“Hey, um, is that snowman thing on the roof still crooked?” he asks, dashing up the stairs quickly with those freakishly long legs, “I’ll fix it!”

You frown at his weird behaviour, and go back to pouring a little rum into each glass of eggnog. 

“Don’t get strangled with Christmas lights up there!” you call with a grin, and hear him shriek playfully. You take out your phone, sending Merry Christmas texts to all your friends and family, and sigh. 

It never snowed in LA like it did when the two of you visited Sweden, but other than that, it was shaping up to be a perfect Christmas. 

-

Childlike excitement fills you as you wake up earlier than you usually do on Christmas Eve.

“Baby,” you hiss, “Hey! It’s Christmas Eve." 

He blinks awake, and rubs his eyes. "Oh… Merry Christmas,” he smiles, kissing you softly. A few seconds into the kiss, you push lightly on his chest as he starts to deepen it and get handsy. 

“Come on. We can save that for dessert,” you grin, and he smiles too, tugging on a shirt and pyjama pants to go downstairs. You forget when you launch yourself out of bed that you’re still in your candy cane lingerie dress, that wouldn’t be complete without the little panties that read “Dear Santa, Define "Good”. Bill slaps your ass as he walks by, and as you squeal, he picks you up, carrying you bridal style down the stairs. 

“I have to change,” you protest, laughing. 

“Why?” he laughs too, “You look perfect. Don’t ever change." 

"Saying I look perfect and being a cornball won’t get you laid any faster,” you tease, and he shakes his head. 

“Damn. Thought I really had that one in that in the bag.” You two giggle together until you make it to the huge tree in your living room. You hop down from Bill’s arms to turn on the tree lights, and flop down by the TV. An entire day of watching Christmas movies and cuddling with hot chocolate and Creme de Mente later, it’s time for the gifts when it gets dark. In Swedish tradition, gifts were opened Christmas Eve, so you had gotten used to it this way. 

About a half hour later, you’re finally on the last one. Bill loved his candies and had already eaten half the box, and his coupons were a hit too- he had already redeemed ‘you are entitled to an upside down on the floor kiss’. 

“One more,” he says, licking his lips. You watch him… he only really does that when he’s nervous. You reach for the box at the back of the tree skirt, and begin to take the paper off slowly. 

“Bill…” you start, and he envelops your hands as you finally open the gift up. A gasp escapes you. It’s… it’s the rose ring from the front display of the jewellers, the one from that new Beauty and the Beast “Enchanted” line that you couldn’t stop staring at and dreaming about! It was beautiful– the little twists of the silver and diamond made the middle look like a little rose, and oh god, it was everything you wanted and more. 

“Will you be my wife?” he asks simply, very nervously, and you break down, sniffling and rubbing your eyes. 

“Oh my god… yes, Bill! I Iove you so much." 

”(Y/n),“ he smiles, and squeezes your hands, "I know you hate the song, but…”

You look up at him from the ring, tear-brimmed eyes widening.  “D-don’t say it,” you laugh through your happy tears, “Don’t be th-that guy."  "Hey, I’ve got nothing to lose now.” He beams at you. “All I want for Christmas is you.” He slips the ring on your finger, and tugs you closer to him, crashing your lips together. 

“Oh, and the new pair of panties is waiting upstairs under the bed. Along with the lampshade." 

You giggle, resting your forehead against your fiancé’s. By next Christmas, you two would be married… and not a season too soon.

[psychokai1972]

Swedish boy pt.2

Swedish boy pt.1

Bill Skarsgård x Fem!Reader

Word count: 1668

Request: Can You make one where I am James Mcavoy’s Daughter and dating Bill and I also sing but mostly do acting and I did auditions secretly and bill amusses that I am cheating but says nothing about it and I have a finale for my singing (like x factor and then the finale) and they both hear me sing for the first time and I mostly sing that James raced me on his own and I am proud of him and Bill too and stuff and they are happy and I win and Bill confesses that he thought I was cheating and we both laugh about it and stuff and James is crying happy tears cause he is happy and in the end with alot of fluff?

Author’s note: I changed thing a little bit from the original request. Reader instead of being both a singer and an actress and going into a singing contest, reader gets the leading role in her first play.

English is not my native language, but I try to do my best when it comes to grammar. The spelling mistakes just happen because I tend to write too fast on the keyboard.

Not long after the It premiere Y/N auditioned for the leading role in a play and got it. Just after she got the role, she called her father right away to tell him the news, then she called Bill.

The two men were almost as excited as she was, being her first time on a play as important as that one. But hand in hand with the excitement came the nervousness, in the surface she was calm, but in the inside she was a shaking wreck.

It was an amazing opportunity for her career, yes, and it also meant no mistakes, not in the opening night, not when she had a public, mistakes were allowed just in rehearsals, it meant the public seeing her performance live. This thoughts were in her mind at the beginning, whit time they went away, but came back the day of the play.

When she woke up that morning, she instantly started feeling nervous and afraid, thinking that she was not good enough for the live performing,to it was added the fact that she was James McAvoy’s daughter and Bill Skarsgård’s girlfriend, the media would be all over them, as well as the critics.The only thing that made her feel better was the sight of her gorgeous boyfriend Bill, sleeping beside her, on his back, one arm under the pillow and the other on his chest. Her hand went to his soft messy hair, then to his face and lips, contouring their beautiful shape. Bill opened his eyes at the feeling of her touch.

“Morning sleepyhead.” Y/N leaned in and kissed his pink lips softly.

“Morning…” His voice came out a whisper. “ How long have you been up for?” Bill rubbed his eyes gently, and blinked a few times, adjusting to the light.

“Not much really.” A smile formed on her features, he looked away, getting out of bed.

“Yeah…ok.” Bill said before going into the bathroom.

Since she got the role for the play, Bill was acting distant and cold in font of her, she didn’t know why, It could have been the pressure of the media on him after the It movie.

Y/N went into the kitchen to make some breakfast. 

In the bathroom, Bill rested his hands on the counter, looking at himself in the mirror, he knew she was aware that something was up with him, something not good. He saw her toothbrush, he meant to ask her to move in his apartment, with him, she spent so much time there, it was like home. She always said that Bill’s apartment was her second home, the first one his father’s house. And Bill intended to make his apartment her first home, whit him.Being able to come home and see her there, sleeping every night together, not just some days of the week.Knowing that when she would go out, she would later come back home, their home, where he was.

But the events of the last months held him back from doing such thing. He could not even call them events, because he ad no proof.

Bill was so happy for her, for getting that role, but eventually that happiness became isolated by the jealousy. Jealous, for what? He sometimes thought that he was overreacting, that it was stupid to think such thing, but then, at the same time he thought he was right. A constant battle was having place in his mind, and it was tearing him down, making him be cold with her.

And what crossed Bill’s mind? Cheating, he really had the impression that Y/N was cheating on him. 

This idea popped into his mind because, when she went to his place, it was always late, most of the times after 11 p.m, she always said that it was because rehearsals, part of him believed her, part of him did not. And the part that didn’t believe her was consuming him.

Now, he never told her anything about that, he couldn’t, he had no proofs. He wanted to confront her after the play, because he knew she was nervous and didn’t want to make her feel worse. But he couldn’t hold it anymore, and neither could she.

His hair was still wet, body fully clothed. Bill moved closer to her,but he kept his distance. The look on his face gave him up, if she suspected before that something was wrong with him, now, she was sure.

“I need to talk to you.”His green eyes resting on the floor,looking like he was lost. The girl nodded in response, resting her arms on the kitchen isle, she had been waiting for this moment. “ Are you cheating on me?” Bill’s gaze went to her, searching for a reaction.

“That’s what this is about?” Upset in her voice. 

“Are you cheating on me Y/N or not? I NEED to know, this is consuming me.” Y/N sighed, but did not say a thing. “Dammit Y/N! Talk!” He hit the counter, it made her shudder.

“God No Bill! I’m not cheating on you!” Her voice came out a scream. “Why would you ever think that?” She tried to touch him, but her moved away from her.

“You always said it was because of rehearsals, but… I couldn’t believe that.” Her heart broke at the knowing that his boyfriend didn’t trust her.

“Do you believe me now?” She got no answer from him, just a look. “ Great, my boyfriend doesn’t trust me.” Y/N threw her arms on the air, in a desperate action.

“I didn’t say that.”  Bill crossed his arms over his chest.

“No, in fact Bill you didn’t say a thing. What am I suppose to think?Huh?You know what? Don’t ever bother to come tonight, not if you don’t trust me.” And with that she left his apartment.

It was the time, less than ten minutes and the play would start, the theater was full, and there her father was, in the first row, waiting for her little girl to show her talent to the world.

Her eyes went from her father to the whole theater, looking for Bill, but he was not there, he made his decision. She felt like she needed to throw up, Y/N didn’t know if it was because of the nervousness of the play or because Bill was not there, which meant he didn’t trust her.

Before she could even realize it, it was already the time to go out, in front of the public. She took a deep breath and prepared herself mentally for it.

“It’s ok Y/N, everything will be alright, you’ve been months rehearsing, you know the lines. You’ll be fine…” She thought she looked crazy talking to herself, but it helped her.

When she went out into she stage, the seat beside her father’s was no longer empty, instead, a tall handsome Swedish boy was sitting there, her Swedish boy. Bill smiled at her and she gave the smile back, feeling relieved.

The first one to stand up from his seat was her father,soon after the rest of the public followed. Applauding her and the rest of the team for their amazing performance. Y/N’s face was a constant smile, she couldn’t believe she made it, with not even a single mistake, she was wrong, she really was wrong.

When she went backstage, James and Bill were there, waiting for her. Her father was the first one to approach her and hug her tightly.

“I’m so proud of you, darling. You are really the best thing in my life.” She started crying at James’ words. “ We should go and celebrate, what do you think?” James turned to Bill, he nodded as well as Y/N. “I’m going to leave you two alone for a bit, but don’t you dare kiss her before I’m gone you Swedish boy.” Y/N laughed, her father didn’t change, not a bit.

“You got it, sir.” Bill told him. James walked away, talking to the rest of the actors. “ You were amazing, Y/N.” With slow steps he moved closer to her, hands on his pocket. “Listen, I’m really sorry for earlier and thinking you could cheat on me, I’m such an idiot.”

“Yes you are.” He was right, she could not deny it.

“I trust you, I really do. I don’t know what came into me, would you forgive me?” She cupped his cheeks.

“I forgive you, Bill.” She leaned in to kiss him, but he moved a little bit back, she felt confused.

“You know…you are not just for your father the best thing in his life, your also in mine.” Bill held the key in his pocket. “I’ve meant to ask you this for a while…” He pulled the key out, and held it between her hands. She looked at it.

“Wha-what is this?” She had an idea of what It was, but she wanted him to say it.

“The key to my apartment, I want you to move in with me, to be your first home,not your second. Would you?” She nodded in disbelief and allowed him to kiss her lovingly.

“I love you, you know that, right?” His forehead rested on hers.

“I do, and you know I love you.” He nodded.

“Oh no,no,no.” The separated at the hearing of James’ voice. “ You are abandoning me?For him?” Y/N moved near her father.

“Dad, I’m not abandoning you, I’m just moving in with Bill, you still have me, you’ll always be the number one for me.” James was such a drama queen sometimes.

“But you are my little girl…”

“Sir, I think your little girl grew up.” James looked at Bill.

“You shut it, Swedish boy.” Bill smiled and backed up, he always thought that James was funny when he talked at him like that.

“He’s right dad, I have to make my own life and he’s the one I want to make it with. I’m not a baby anymore.” Y/N hugged her dad.

“You’ll always be my little girl, baby. Ok, but please come and see me every time to time.” They got apart.

“You have it dad, you’ll get sick of me.” Bill and her intertwined hands. They both knew that James would be wanting to see his daughter frequently,but they could work it for him. 

MASTERLIST

[alas-poor-cesario]

IT (2017)

I went to see it yesterday, and it was the first horror film that I’ve went to the pictures to see. I usually just wait so that I can watch them on the couch with a pillow handy to hide behind when I need it. This got pretty long I’m sorry! There’s going to be spoilers below the cut!

First off the story: I actually liked it being just the kids in this film, I’ll get to the characters in a little bit, but there was no way that everything could have been crammed into just one film. That would have been far too rushed and some really key events would have had to be left out for it to work. I haven’t read the book so I can’t say how accurate to that it is, but the changes from the 1990 series were needed I think.

From the first real scare of the movie (the sewer scene with Georgie) it had this feeling of ‘Oh we’re really not doing what the series did, okay’ and it marked it as being it’s own thing. I thought that was needed since the series gave a lot to live up to. I remember looking over at my mam after Georgie’s arm got bitten off and he was crawling along the ground and I was completely shocked. It was a lot gorier and darker, especially considering a few minutes before I was laughing as he hit his head on that bar.

They also moved the time it’s set to the 80′s and I liked that. It made it a lot easier to connect with the kids, there’s more relevant pop culture references and jokes like the Molly Ringwald line. It was nice to have that because I had been thinking it just before  it happened. The other cool thing about setting the first half then is that the second one with them as adults will be a modern thing and it ties in nicely to it being 27 years after the series came out.

Characters:

My favourite character out of the film was easily Richie. He had the best lines in the film (for the most part) and he caught my attention straight away. He was loud, I found myself looking at him more in scenes because he would be the one talking and I was expecting to be annoyed by that but I actually really liked it. He made IT less scary and pulled the group together well.

Bill is the leader of the group and his scenes were so emotional. I think this film caught his desperation and grief a lot better than the series did, especially in the third act of the film in the sewers. The movie had me pausing and saying ‘Oh my god was that actually Georgie’ because of the delay between him shooting ‘Georgie’ and ‘Georgie’ turning back into Pennywise and for that you got to see how Bill must have been feeling.

I liked Ben a little bit more in this adaptation especially when he first meets the Losers. I also liked the change to him being the historian of the group, he’s the new kid in town and so he’s looking up the history of the place. I do feel like this left Mike with something missing though since the town’s history was covered by Ben.

Eddie was brilliant. I said Richie has the best lines but truthfully he shares that position with Eddie. The one line that made me laugh more than anything else even after I left the film was the “gazebos” one. It din’t come across as cheesy or forced humour and I loved it. I also liked the kind of ‘only sane person’ role he played at times, waiting outside the sewer, criticising the group’s actions etc.

I’m so glad that they gave Bev a personality in this film. The series made her very two dimensional to me and I found myself just waiting for her to stop being on screen all of the time, but in this I couldn’t wait. She had some of the toughest scenes to watch in this but they balanced out by giving her some of the sweetest too like the ending and her meeting the Losers.

Stan was kind of forgettable in this and I can’t remember anything being said about birds which disappointed me. The bit with the painting gave me one of the bigger scares but I kept forgetting he was there until he spoke and then even after that I was too busy looking at the other characters to really pay him any attention.

The bullies reminded me of the bullies in Stand By Me and of Kevin Bacon. I’m not quite sure what they plan on doing with Bowers since he just fell down that well and presumably died. Patrick in the sewers and Henry being shot at by his father made me have moments of sympathy for them. They were just as much victims as the Losers if you take the idea that IT has been controlling the town and manipulating events.

Camera work/ cinematography:

Rather than this movie just being one bland film and having all of the camera angles really standard, they change and move and that adds to the unsettling vibe. The one that stood out to me was Bev confronting her father, just seeing that change and the slow movement made me really unsettled. The library went for more of a conventional ‘something’s chasing you’ set up and that worked well too, but my favourite thing about this film was that changing camera angle.

Effects:

This is where the film fell down in my opinion. Most of the scares in this seemed fake and they took me out of the film a little bit, not enough that I didn’t enjoy it, but just enough to be noticeable. The ones I remember were the dancing scene with the fire, the leper and the woman from the painting. They came across as being far too cheesy to me. I think if they had went with a little bit more in the way of practical effects over computer generated things then it would have been so much better.

But considering the series’ effects are a bit laughable to me now and when I first watched it I don’t think they did too badly.  IT starting the film as a scary looking clown with unnaturally bright eyes played on a lot of fears and while I can look at a screenshot and think that it just looks cheap and pretty naff, seeing it in the pictures for the first time gave me quite a fright.

Scare factor:

This film wasn’t necessarily the most scary film in the world however it did make me jump a lot more than the series did. The jump scares were built up to well and there was a few times I was lulled into a false sense of security before one which was done well. And there were times I was expecting something to happen like with one of the people in the background of the library or with the statue and clown when they’re sat at the fair.  The humour in the film broke up the scary aspects of it quite nicely for me and made it so that it was enjoyable and I could actually take in everything rather than just being scared of whatever was coming next.

Pennywise:

Skarsgård was never going to be Tim Curry. We’ve built up, and built up that image of Pennywise the clown for years and years and years and our imaginations have taken over and made him out to be one of the top horror monsters. If he had been dressed the same and acted the exact same way then I wouldn’t have liked it at all and would have just written this off as a stupid remake. Tim Curry’s IT was strange and I didn’t particularly like clowns anyway so he didn’t seem like the kind of fun type to draw in kids closer before killing them. Skarsgård’s IT plays to an audience that’s used to scary clowns and people being wary of them, granted I wouldn’t have stayed talking to the clown in the sewers like Georgie, but I didn’t mind him having the moment where he broke and growled at him. IT feeds off children’s fear and having this character who comes across as being just out of what feels comfortable works for him.

I prefer the way It looks in this film to the series. The lack of colour makes him more haunting, the hair and make up aren’t as cheesy and the outfit feels less cheap. His teeth and (what I’m assuming to be) the deadlights in this version were so much better.

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #132 - Good Will Hunting

Spoilers below.

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: Blu-ray

1) I find it interesting how when the opening credits say, “Written by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck,” it says Damon’s name over Affleck’s character and vice versa.

2) The first character in the film we really get to know is Stellan Skarsgård as Gerald Lambeau.

You get that Skarsgård has good intentions, even though he is a massive pretentious asshole who hits on his students and judges people not based on how happy they are but more their position in life. A janitor is a failure. A community college teacher is a failure. Any other opinions be damned. He’s not EXCLUSIVELY a bad guy though. You understand his intentions are good and he does learn as the film goes on, but damn if he isn’t just a prick for most of the film.

3) The first tavern scene is a nice way of introducing us to Will and his friends. It creates a sense of community between them and South Boston, a sense of character for every member of the group, and their relationships with each other.

4) Matt Damon as Will Hunting.

Will is a character who you really get to know over time, and that’s very nice. At first he largely keeps to himself and we get that he doesn’t care about power or prestige. At first that’s a noble thing, but then we learn that this is born less out of humility and more out of fear. Will is a flawed character. He convinces himself of all the disadvantages of somethings, of the shame of it, because he is petrified. His world, his life with his friends, that is safe for him. That is home. And he doesn’t really risk to go for more than that because of his fear of rejection (identified by Robin Williams’ Sean Maguire later in the movie). I think this - along with the beatings he sustained as a child - fuels the aggression we see (and later hear about) when he picks a fight with an old kindergarden bully for no other reason than he just felt like it (and then doesn’t stop until the cops show up).

But Will is SMART. And not like a little smart either, but incredibly intelligent. He’s not afraid to show it either, he doesn’t hide it when he feels a need to use it. But he doesn’t brag about it either. He is not in his friends’ faces with it with an, “I’m so much smarter than you,” attitude. Matt Damon - the film’s cowriter with Ben Affleck - plays Will’s many facets very well. This film is incredibly well cast and most of the actors when you’re watching them don’t FEEL like actors. They feel like the characters, totally and completely. Damon as the lead is no exception.

5) Can I just say: I LIVE for scenes in movies and moments in life where some pretentious condescending asshole is put in their place totally and completely? It’s so cathartic!

6) Minnie Driver as Skylar.

Can I just say I LOVE Skylar, even if she is at risk of falling into the category of manic pixie dream girl on paper. Minnie Driver’s academy award nominated performance in this film just makes her so much MORE than that! I love everything about Skylar: how she approaches Will at the bar and calls him an idiot for not asking her out, how she is able to hold her own against Will’s sense of humor and occasional bullshitting, her laugh, her honesty, her heart! The first time I watched this film I was in awe - more than anything else - with Driver’s realism in the part. She and Damon have knockout chemistry that not only suggests to you their heat but their friendship. It is totally believable that they fall in love in such a quick time, and that is because they work so fucking brilliantly with each other. There is sincerity, trust, comradery, humor, an ability to be themselves around each other. I believe Damon and Driver dated for a while after meeting on this film, and that chemistry shows. I just...gah! I love it so much!

7) Classic.

Will [to the douchebag from the bar]: “Do you like apples?”

Douchebag: “Yeah.”

Will [placing Skylar’s phone number on the glass between them]: “Well I got her number.”

8) The way Lambeau treats Will is...interesting, to say the least. At first it seems like he looks down at him. Like he’s his savior and he knows it. There’s a scene where after they’re done doing math together, Lambeau ruffles Will’s hair. Who the hell does that? It changes as the film goes on. You realize that Lambeau grows to understand that Will is truly an unmatched genius, but early on it’s...weird.

9) The string of psychiatrists Lambeau takes Will to see is very telling and very entertaining. It shows how smart Will is, but also how abrasive he is. How he scoffs at authority and the need for help. It’s a funny scene but it greatly tells to Will’s deeper struggles.

10) Robin Williams as Sean Maguire.

Williams won his first and only Oscar based on his performance in this film, and damn if it isn’t clear why. Williams is chameleonic. Yes you know its Robin Williams playing him, yes he brings some of his trademark improv comedy (more on that later), but you don’t SEE Williams. All you see is Sean, and that is incredible. Damon and Affleck took a character who could have easily been just the token mentor. The Obi-Wan to Will’s Luke Skywalker. But they did more. They gave Sean his own struggles, his own grief, his own desires, his own conflict, his own arc, and made a truly compelling character who can hold his own against Damon’s Will.

You learn a lot about Sean as the film goes along. You learn how his life is defined by his love and loss of his wife, you see that he is able to relate to actual people, that he hates the MIT snobs. The dude chokes Will out for insulting his wife at one point and is the first therapist to kick Lambeau out of his session. Meaning he takes his time with Will far more seriously than the other therapists.

The chemistry between Williams and Damon is on par with the chemistry between Driver and Damon, although of a fundamentally different nature. Williams as Sean is able to sift through Will’s bullshit, knows when he doesn’t need to put up with it, and is able to slowly make this character who is so afraid of rejection comfortable around him. I think it’s the key relationship in the film, and I love it.

11) Danny Elfman’s score in this film is beautiful. Elfman is known for his more macabre work through collaborations with directors like Tim Burton and Sam Raimi, but here he creates a hopeful and sincere melody which carries you through the film like a leaf on the wind. I think it’s great.

12) The scene where Sean is talking to Will on a park bench is somewhat iconic, but I think it is very powerful for one key reason: the filmmakers decided to keep it on William’s performance for most of the scene. They did not cut between him and Damon, they let his acting and his heart carry those minutes and it is incredible I think. You can watch for yourself if you so desire:

This is my favorite line from that monologue:

Sean: “You’re an orphan right. Do you think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been - how you feel, who you are - because I read Oliver Twist?”

People like to say they know what other people are going through, but unless they have personally they don’t have any idea what they’re talking about. Thank you to this film for having that line in there. I love it.

13) According to IMDb:

The lines in the scene when Sean talks about his late wife's farting antics were ad-libbed by Robin Williams. That is why Matt Damon was laughing so hard. If you watch the scene carefully you can notice the camera shaking a bit, possibly due to the cameraman laughing as well.

14) This film does an excellent job in balancing the aspects of Will’s life. We get the perfect looks at his relationship with his friends, with Skylar, with Sean, and with Lambeau. There’s not too much and there’s not too little, it’s just right.

15) It is interesting to see how Will lets his guard down with Skylar in some regards while also keeping it up in some ways (namely, lying about how he has 12 brothers).

16) I love Skylar’s story with Will’s friends.

Minnie Driver is gold.

17)

Lambeau [after Sean says they should let Sean go down his own path]: “It worked wonders for you didn’t it?”

Sean: “Yeah it did you arrogant fucking prick.”

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

WHETHER OR NOT SOMEONE HAS LIVED A GOOD LIFE IS NOT BASED ON THEIR STATURE. IT IS NOT BASED ON THEIR JOB, THEIR WEALTH, THEIR LOOKS, NOTHING LIKE THAT. IT IS EXCLUSIVELY BASED ON HOW HAPPY THEY ARE LIVING THEIR LIFE AND HOW MUCH PAIN THEY ARE OR ARE NOT CAUSING OTHERS!!!!

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

I have a lot of strong feelings on this matter, can you tell?

18) I love how Will explains the way his brain works. How he says Mozart and Beethoven could just look at a piano and play, that’s how his brain works with history and numbers and science and stuff. It actually makes a lot of sense despite being pretty vague.

19) Get ready to have your heart broken by Will being a fucking idiot.

GODDAMN IT WILL!!!!!

20) Will’s whole monologue about why he doesn’t take a job with the NSA because of what COULD happen and one hypothetical leading to another is just a perfect example of him using his intellect to rationalize his fears in a bullshit way.

Will [in a session with Sean]: “Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with, get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Oh, send in the Marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And, of course, the oil companies used the skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and fuckin' play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the fuckin' job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin', 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure fuck it, while I'm at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.”

21) One of my favorite scenes in this film is Chuckie’s reaction after Will says he’s going to stay in south Boston his whole life.

Chuckie: “Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way but, in 20 years if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house, watchin' the Patriots games, workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill ya. That's not a threat, that's a fact, I'll fuckin' kill ya.”

He is like the only one - between Skylar, Sean, and Lambeau - to actually get through to Will. And that is because he speaks Will’s language. It’s one of my favorite character moments in the film.

22) I do really love the climax of the film (Sean telling Will, “It’s not your fault,” for his foster dad beating on him and Will breaking down into tears) even if I’m aware of some of it’s flaws. This is a turning point for Will, but if he were in therapy in real life this wouldn’t be the end. Also most therapists don’t treat their patients this way. But that’s the beauty of fiction: we have this thing called suspension of disbelief which makes movies fun to watch! :D

23) I think the ending for this film is quite lovely. So many different ideas from earlier play into effect, Will goes to make up with Skylar (headcanon: he gets her back after much groveling and attempts to convince her he’s changed), and what Matt Damon said was Robin Williams’ best improvised line in the film.

Will [in a note he leaves for Sean]: "Sean, if the Professor calls about that job, just tell him, sorry, I have to go see about a girl."

Good Will Hunting is a classic of cinema. It features excellent writing that features a heartwarming story, supported by incredible performances across the board. Williams, Damon, and Driver are all particular standouts, but the film is just so good. Perhaps a little overrated, but still incredible. Go see it!

[takenews-blog1]

From Blade Runner 2049 to Child Driver: The perfect film trailers of 2017

New Post has been published on https://takenews.net/from-blade-runner-2049-to-child-driver-the-perfect-film-trailers-of-2017/

From Blade Runner 2049 to Child Driver: The perfect film trailers of 2017

Polygon is kicking off its better of leisure sequence, which can run by the tip of December and starting of January, coming to a finale simply earlier than the 2017 Golden Globes. These private essays will study the very best, most essential and weirdest moments that occurred in tv, movie, streaming and YouTube/Twitch in 2017. Every will study why the writer believes that second to be certainly one of 2017’s most extraordinary. The sequence will finish with Polygon’s Better of TV and Better of Films items.

Trailers have develop into so essential to the celebration of films, and so essential to studios at giant, that we’ve discovered ourselves in a subversive trailer tradition.

The film trailer has develop into its personal artwork type, with teaser trailers for the trailer launched days prematurely. Within the case of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, typically meaning having a business for the teaser for the tease that can play earlier than the teaser trailer. It could possibly appear a bit of over-the-top at occasions, however as we identified earlier this yr, there’s no escaping the maintain that trailers have over us as cinephiles.

Simply check out the insanity surrounding the delayed launch of the Avengers: Infinity Warfare trailer.

This yr, we had been handled to a couple excellent trailers for films that in some circumstances enthralled us and in others left us disillusioned. The trailer for Blade Runner 2049 gave us a small style of the neon-infused world and the synth-heavy sounds of the anticipated sequel to Ridley Scott’s 1982 traditional. The primary teaser for It terrified us with the primary have a look at Warner Bros.’ reimagined evil clown, Pennywise, and the primary trailer for Black Panther had us roaring with pleasure over the way forward for Marvel’s Cinematic Universe.

Listed here are the 10 trailers from 2017 that Polygon continues to be obsessing over.

One among my greatest ongoing regrets yearly isn’t having sufficient time to cowl the flicks I need to speak about. Ingrid Goes West, a warning concerning the risks of social media and the phoniness of Los Angeles influencers, is a type of films. Ingrid Goes West, which stars Aubrey Plaza as Ingrid and Elizabeth Olsen as Instagram queen Taylor, was among the best films I stumbled upon this yr. The trailer, seen above, is paying homage to the dystopian, social media-ruled world we noticed within the trailer for The Social Community, however louder, angrier and wilder.

It’s straightforward to argue that Tommy Wiseau’s The Room is without doubt one of the most essential films of the previous few many years. It wasn’t a giant success — hell, it wasn’t even a hit — however what The Room did for cult films won’t ever be forgotten. The Catastrophe Artist tells the story of how The Room was constituted of actor and author Greg Sistero’s viewpoint. The film is an unimaginable feat, and has already been nominated for 2 Golden Globe awards, however the trailer itself can be worthy of applause.

Oh, hello, Mark.

Very like Ingrid Goes West, Good Time is one other film I want I had time to write down about this yr. The unusual and prolific post-Twilight profession Robert Pattinson has had lately is nothing in need of fascinating, as he chooses to make disturbing, fetishistic films with cinema’s veteran punks like David Cronenberg and unusual impartial jaunts with contemporary auteurs. Good Time follows Pattinson, who performs a financial institution robber in New York Metropolis, as he tries to assist his mentally disabled brother get out of bother. Pattinson’s appearing, in tangent with the neon-laced backdrops of New York Metropolis’s underground felony world, makes it a haunting watch — and a fair higher trailer.

No trailer has made me happier this yr than Fox Searchlight’s trailer for Wes Anderson’s stop-motion animation film, Isle of Canines. Set to be launched in 2018, the film follows a boy in Japan who travels to an island the place all pets are saved in an try and retrieve his canine finest buddy. I’ll admit I bought a bit of misty eyed over the movie’s premise, however the trailer itself is gorgeous, and oddly humorous at occasions. It’s certainly one of my most anticipated films of 2018, and this trailer explains why.

2017 was the yr of synchronized trailers. Editors superbly lined up music used within the trailer to the beat of movie footage, making a pulsing trailer you couldn’t take your eyes off of. Atomic Blonde is an effective instance of this enhancing approach, however so is Child Driver. Edgar Wright’s film a few getaway driver who can solely full his job with the assistance of his trusted iPod Traditional, Child Driver helped redefine how creative trendy trailers could possibly be. Trailers, whereas nonetheless advertising ploys from studios, will be greater than that, and Child Driver helped show that to be the case.

Director Andy Muschietti’s It had so much to dwell as much as, as did actor Invoice Skarsgård’s portrayal of Pennywise. There was trepidation about how nicely It would carry out underneath the scrutiny of Steven King diehards, and fortunately for each Skarsgård and Muschietti, they had been up for the duty. Though the trailer doesn’t seize the brilliance of Stranger Issues’ Finn Wolfhard, it did handle to freak me out once I first watched it. I assume that’s all I may have requested for on the time.

Thor: Ragnarok was my favourite superhero film of 2017 for quite a few causes, however the minute I knew I used to be going to fall in love with this movie was once I watched the primary trailer. It’s a whole change in tone and course for the Thor franchise, and the trailer gave us our first hope that Ragnarok would let Chris Hemsworth use his comedic chops for the position. Gone had been the dreary days of Shakespearean makes an attempt to inform the god’s story. Director Taika Waititi confirmed that superheroes don’t must be critical on a regular basis, following within the course of Joss Whedon’s Avengers. This trailer nonetheless makes me giggle to today; the one factor it’s lacking is extra Korg.

Thor: Ragnarok’s trailer additionally takes dwelling the prize for finest one-liner utilized in a two-minute video: “We all know one another. He’s a buddy from work!”

After months and months of agonizing, with followers demanding that Marvel launch some sort of teaser akin to the one the studio confirmed at Disney’s biennial D23 convention and San Diego Comedian-Con, we lastly bought the primary trailer for Avengers: Infinity Warfare. It was nicely well worth the wait.

I’m not going to attempt to conceal my pleasure at seeing a few of my favourite superheroes banding collectively for what guarantees to be probably the most thrilling Marvel Cinematic Universe installment but. Watching Captain America run by the forests of Wakanda as Spider-Man gears as much as tackle Thanos alongside Iron Man … it’s what we’ve been ready for.

10 years of ready for this model of the MCU appeared to lastly arrive within the trailer for Infinity Warfare, and that’s one thing price celebrating.

The selection to make Blade Runner 2049 my second favourite trailer of the yr was a troublesome one. I like this trailer. I find it irresistible so, a lot. The primary trailer for Blade Runner 2049 promised the cyberpunk world that I’ve at all times needed to see in a theater. The soothing sounds of synthesizers appeared to cushion the important paintings and cinematography contained inside, reverberating across the gorgeous imagery.

I used to be taken with Blade Runner 2049 from the very first time this trailer performed. I wrote about how the trailer for Child Driver used enhancing methods to make its trailer standout; Blade Runner 2049 didn’t want any tips. It showcased a few of its most spectacular imagery and let the overwhelming sensation of all of it wash over folks.

Blade Runner 2049’s trailer was very near being my high trailer of the yr, and I’ll clarify very merely why it’s not under.

I’m going to let these superb, lovely folks sum up why Black Panther is Polygon’s primary trailer of 2017. It’s an essential film; certainly one of Marvel’s most essential. I feel every certainly one of these YouTubers does a greater job of expressing why this trailer is price celebrating.

[ill-skillsgard]

Damn Straight, Part 6 - Bill Skarsgård

Title: Damn Straight

Description: Deceptions bring a young couple to Mirth Island, a place of natural beauty and the promise of inner healing. When one of them is introduced to a young man who lives on the island, their budding friendship threatens to destroy more than just trust.

Warning: 18+ sex/fluff/swearing/drug use/mentions of cheating/addiction

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

A couple days passed and I spent every waking and sleeping moment entirely with Bill. We cooked breakfast, lunch, and dinner together and ate out on the balcony so we could stare at the endless ocean and miles of bright blue sky and the arch of the sandy beach cresting the edge of what seemed like a whole other world. Then there was our world. Our little one-room world that we had retreated into and spent hours pouring emotions into each other like we were each other's life support. I could lay next to him forever, drinking him in, touching his arms and his chest, feeling around his neck and up the line of his jaw, staring into his eyes that were like oceans in themselves; watery green and so deep one might possibly drown in them. He was pure magic to me, a whole new existence that excited me more than anything I had ever known. Although I was completely enraptured by his mere existence, it did make me think about Cici a lot too. I couldn't help but compare his physicality to hers when I looked at him. As much as I tried to force the thought of her from my head, it was nearly impossible. She was all I had known for twenty-two of my most formative years and when I woke up beside him and not her it filled me with an inscrutable feeling of bewilderment and acquisitiveness. I had nothing else but her to hold him up against for comparison. As frustrating as it was to have my thoughts keep dragging back to my former lover, I also found it interesting to spend so much time with a member of the opposite sex and weigh his habits with hers. I had always wondered what it was like to live with a man- if it was as stressful and off-putting as my friends said it could be. I always remarked to myself how much thicker his arms were than what I was used to. They were twice as long, wrapped in muscle and protruding tendons that made his embraces feel heavy and complete. I felt safe when he had me all wrapped up and squeezed against him. His hands were so large and sinewy, capable of spanning most of lower back when he decided to touch me. Just one of his fingers were twice as long as Cici's. He allowed me to touch him for as long as I wanted even when it didn't have sexual undertones to it. He knew I was curious and he fanned my desire to discover things that I had always wondered about. His legs were so strong and lengthy enough to support my entire body's weight as he proved by the arduous amount of times we had sex in the days following my intense breakup. Being perched on top of him was a ride that I never knew I wanted to take. I felt like a little bird perched on high and he seemed to enjoy drawing attention to how small I was compared to him by having me sit on his cock while he used his whole body's strength to send me bouncing like he was a mechanical bull. He could buck his hips up over and over endlessly with his feet planted on the floor and me straddling his hips as he pressed his back on the bed. I had never felt such sheer force while being fucked before. The best I had ever had was the unsubstantial thrusting of a hundred-and-ten-pound woman wearing a neon pink silicone cock that was designed to be held in place between her legs by her pussy alone. At the time, the sex Cici and I had seemed adequate. It started out daring and wrong when we were young and we had been so secretive about it that it made the whole act that much more salacious but once we grew up not a whole lot changed. I was always eager to try different things with her and we had ventured deep to explore every channel of pleasure we could give to each other but when she was gone and I was home alone watching straight porn, I couldn't help but wonder if the women getting impaled on eight to nine inch cocks were really faking those high-drama reactions. The first time I had ever put Bill's cock in my mouth was a whole other thing in itself. He knew I was nervous, having never given head to a man before but he made the experience well worth the wait. It was a cool, clear morning after he had left bed to take a shower but not before opening the balcony doors to let the breeze through. I woke up just as he was entering the bathroom and debated whether I should join him or not. Not wanting to be intrusive, I stayed in bed and waited for the shower head to turn off before I sat up. I had on nothing but the blanket to cover me and when he exited the bathroom wrapped in a white towel he quickly caught the sense that I wanted him again. Bill approached the bed with his hair all damp, falling over his forehead in wet pieces, shoulders sparkling with water droplets. I reached out to unwrap the white cotton towel from his slender, narrow hips. It was still a shock to see his manhood so up close and personal but I liked it. I liked it even better when I took hold of it and he started to twitch and fill with blood. How endearing it was that I could simply look at him, lick my lips and knead at him before it was obvious he was turned on. I stroked him to life and when his cock was fully erect and he stared down at me with his pretty mouth hanging open, I licked the tip and just that move alone made him curl his toes and hold his breath. "You don't have to-" "Oh... but I want to." Bill chewed his bottom lip, "are you sure?" I rose to my knees and he purred when he got to see my nakedness as I positioned myself in front of him, more than ready to please him again. "Teach me?" He nodded enthusiastically. I could only imagine the commodity it must have been for him to be teaching a fully grown woman how to go down on him. Although I was anything but virginal, it felt like I was learning how to have sex all over again. I think that's what made it so satisfying. Both of us were experiencing something vibrantly new and exciting. He cupped my face and kissed me before standing up straight again. He was never stingy with his affections and I loved that he had no problem lacing every single moment with as much romance as he could cram into it. Truly he had a golden heart and nurturing soul, just another thing about him that made me want to please him as best as I could. "So you just... Open your mouth," He whispered as though someone was going to hear him. "Wrap your lips around... Fuck." I had watched enough X-rated videos in my life to have the general sense of what to do when it came to sucking cock. I had a couple of girlfriends back at home who had described it all in grand detail to me as well so I wasn't completely stumped when it came down to it.

Oh, and don't neglect the balls.

Yeah, they love it when you kinda squeeze them. Not too hard though.

If you like do that triple-threat thing, works every time!

Triple-threat?

Suck his cock while working the shaft with your hand and massaging the balls with the other. My husband fucking dies every time. But you don't start with that! You have to build up to it.

I distended my jaw and took him down as deep as I could before the head of his cock hit the back of my throat and when I pulled back I made sure to wrap my lips tightly around him so that he felt every ridge and inch of himself slide against them with perfect suction. "Fuck baby... That's right. That's so good," he praised me. The intrusion of all that flesh hit a button inside of me that had only been barely grazed. I felt my body come alive, every sense sharpening, every nerve crackling to life as I stared up at him and saw his face staring down at me, happy while simultaneously overwrought with pleasure. I bobbed my head up and down on his cock with a vigor I never thought I was capable of displaying. His fidgeting hands found their way into my hair and he helped me out a little by moving his hips to meet my face every time I descended on him. I did just like my girlfriends had said to do and cradled his balls with one hand, working them gently as I did my best to relax my throat so that substantial shaft could benefit from being one hundred percent surrounded in the hot wetness of my mouth. It didn't take long before he was contracting and tensing up to come. He looked beautiful when he got all desperate and so close to the edge that I could taste his liquid already beginning to leak out. "Yes baby," he would whisper. "Yes, oh, that's so fucking good." When his groans grew ragged and choked off I just kept going, stroking his length and letting my lips pop off the head of his cock until he was writhing and holding my shoulders in place so he could do exactly as I wanted him to- to come hard into my mouth. The taste of his cum was lost quickly though and only lingered slightly on my palate. 

It all depends on what they eat. If they eat nothing but junk it's going to taste bad.

I make my husband eat a lot of pineapples.

Does that really work?

I think so. I'm not sure though I kinda just like the taste of cum already.

That's fucking gross.

Don't knock it 'til you try it, girl. Seriously.

I wasn't sure if it was just me or if it was because every time I looked at Bill I fell harder and harder for him but I didn't hate his taste. I had gotten more flavour from eating pussy than his cum and I was already accustomed to that so I sat back with a smile on my face, wiping my lips when he started to laugh. "How'd that taste? Disgusting?" He asked. "No," I replied. "It was... Good. You taste like... You taste great." "I bet you taste even better." He said as he crawled onto the bed, a predatory glint in his eyes as he grasped my ankles and forced my legs apart so he could mark my thighs with kisses and work his way towards my opening. One of the most noticeable differences between Bill and Cici was how they ate pussy. She had always made it this huge performance and after years of it, I had grown weary of her shtick. Cici watched entirely too much lesbian porn though I had tried to tell her many times that what she watched was just a man's version of what he thought two girls would do to each other. Most of the time it was all right but too often did she get carried away with her hands, rubbing too roughly or sucking hard enough on my clitoris to cause me to desensitize. When Bill went down on me he was so very slow and it was refreshing to see and feel how in-tune he could get with my body. He never went right for the best spot and always spent a little time lightly touching and teasing me with the tip of his tongue. When I did get full contact it was more like a passionate kiss than the bloodthirsty flickering that I had experienced far too much of. Bill was attentive and deciphered the reactions on my face with every gentle caress of his mouth. Those perfectly full lips of his on me, the way those mysterious eyes read me and his tongue sopping up all of my juices... He could have me coming in five minutes or less if he didn't make it a point to pull me away from the edge two or three times. As much fun as it was, we tried hard not to spend another whole day in bed just talking and having sex again and again. It was hard not to want to hang off of his body and touch his flat chest, his jutting collarbones and let my fingers slide all the way down from his shoulders to the tips of his fingers. Making him moan and beg and whimper was so delicious, I delighted in his sweetness, addicted to the sounds he made and captivated by a body that was so different from anything I had ever known. We managed to at least get dressed so that we could leave to get supplies. Bill said there was a little grocery store we could go to because we needed things like coffee, beer, and cigarettes. When we went downstairs to the common area where the remnants of breakfast were being cleaned up. I saw Emilio, coffee cup in hand, for the first time in a few days. I waved at him and he gave me a very slight nod, like the kind you would get whilst passing somebody on the street that you recognized but hardly knew. Susie stepped out of their room and looked shocked to see me by the way her eyes bugged out. "Hey," I said as I approached. "How are you guys?" "Good," she said rather shortly. I retreated immediately, the rush of shame filled my cheeks and I suspected that she knew something that she wasn't supposed to. It must have meant she had spoken to Cici at some point and that could have yielded a plethora of different scenarios. By the way she avoided my gaze I knew that it hadn't been hearing many good things. "Is everything... Okay?" I asked, treading as lightly as I could. She crossed her arms, causing her many bracelets to tinkle with the movement. "Everything is fine here." "Susie... What's going on? Did you speak to Cici?" Susie's eyes crossed over to Bill and then back to me. She looked me up and down like she was sizing me up, judging me in a way I never thought her capable of. I felt the tension in my throat and awaited her reply on pins and needles. "What you two did to that poor girl... So unfair. So unbelievably unfair." "I don't know what Cici told you but I assure you that whatever it was is pure bullshit." "Come on, Vye. Let's just go." Bill said as he touched my back. Susie's glare ripped into Bill too and I couldn't believe the vehemence spilling forth from her. I didn't suspect that Susie had an angry bone in her body, not after the way she had treated us so hospitably but there she was, glaring daggers into me as though I had just run over her pet. "I can see that it's not all bullshit." She referred to Bill's proximity to me. "Whatever, Susie. You can believe whatever you want to but just know that nearly everything that comes out of Cici's mouth is a fabrication. She's very good at manipulation." Bill pulled my elbow but I wasn't done trying to defend myself. "I bet she didn't tell you how she's an emotionally abusive sociopath that likes to suck the will to live out of anyone that dares get close to her." "Vye!" Bill's voice clapped and I shut my mouth only after I realized I was getting carried away. He steered me towards Seaside's front door, the entrance that was used less than any of the other ways in and out. I was fuming and when we stepped into the hot sun I got even angrier with the brightness scorching my eyes. "What the fuck, Vye?" He said in a quietly admonishing way. "What? What do you mean what the fuck? What the fuck was that? Cici's running around telling the whole fucking island about what happened!" "So? Who cares? She's gone now. Who gives a fuck about what Susie thinks? The woman's on so many Vicodin she can't even move her face half the time. She doesn't know shit and she certainly isn't the peace-love-and-unity type that she tries to make herself out to be." Bill took my hand and led me down a winding path to a wooden pavilion that housed golf carts. He pulled some keys from his pocket and hopped up onto one of the carts to start it. I stood there, arms crossed, hands still shaking from the exchange I had with Susie. "Vye, come on." "No, Bill. This isn't fair! Why does she get to turn everyone and everything against me all the time? Why am I always the villain?" Bill stood up and came to me, holding me by the shoulders as he ducked in to speak right at my face. "Listen to me, Vye. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks about you or me or anything. We're leaving soon. In just one week we're going to be on a plane going back to Sweden. You're never going to see any of these people again. So just... Have fun with me and," he paused to laugh, "enjoy the sun while you still can because you're going to fucking miss it when we get to Stockholm." I laughed and felt the rush of my impending tears simmer back down. He was right. I wasn't going to see any of the people I had met on Mirth Island ever again. It just sucked that Cici had gotten to them first. I could only imagine the lies she had spread before she left. It was difficult to dismiss it but for Bill's sake, I swallowed my pride and got into the golf cart beside him so we could continue our day as we had originally planned. We spent a couple of hours walking around the beach town before we bought anything. There were surf shops and little attractions to be seen that I never knew about. Bill explained that most people that went to the resort never really took the time to explore the rest of the island because once you hit a certain geographical point it turned into the kind of adult party that was only fun for people who were teenagers in the sixties. He was referring to the nude beach of course, which was almost like the dark side of the moon when I heard people talking about it. I had fun roaming through the shops, looking at all of the Mirth Island knickknacks and bins overflowing with pool noodles, multi-colored swimming flippers, and cheap thong sandals. Rainbows of beach towels hung up like pride flags around tents that housed racks of fun sunglasses and hand-made beaded jewelry. I thought that the street was rather vibrant and child-like but the only children around were residents of the island that were too young to attend school. The town was literally set up like that only to attract tourists to it. All year round it was a parade of plastic snorkeling gear, temporary tattoo stands, unrealistically posed mannequins wearing flowery shirts and bathing suits with beer logos branded on the tits and ass. The more I got to know Bill the more I noticed how much he did not fit in with any of it. It made me wonder again why a man like him had come to live on an island where he had no friends and family. I remembered he had said that nobody he was related to had made a trip to the island in a couple of years. Not even his grandparents had come back to open up their Summer home. Bill held my hand as we strolled down the road towards where we had parked the golf cart beside the little grocery store. As much as it had been a pleasant distraction to wander through all of the sights, I was still feeling rotten on the inside from the way Susie had glared at me back at Seaside. He also knew that I had some residual feelings about it and before we walked into the store he stopped me. "I have a plan." He told me. "Okay." I urged him to continue. "I know you're probably still feeling shitty about what happened back there so I've come up with a solution that will take your mind off of it permanently." I smirked, "Please go on." "I have the keys to my Grandparents' Summer home. We can go stay there if you want to. It's off the resort so if you wanted to check out early, I'll take you there so you don't have to be constantly reminded of everything that went down." "Really?" I sang with obvious excitement. "Really!" "Why didn't you tell me this sooner?" Bill scratched the back of his head and grinned. "Well... It's a little secluded. I don't go there much myself because it's too quiet. But if we go together... We can make as much noise as we want and it's far from Circle Beach so you won't see anyone. We can pack up your stuff tomorrow and go, how's that sound?" "Sounds great!" "Good." He said as he hugged me tight and kissed the top of my head. For the rest of the day, I felt light and happy and mostly forgot about Susie and the rumors that may or may not have been swirling about me and Bill. It was easy to forget about anything when I spent time with him and by the time we got back to Seaside with all of the things we bought the stare-down that morning was long from my mind. I set our bags on the kitchen counter and helped Bill put things away but he promptly stopped me. "Oh, you don't have to help me with this and don't get too comfortable either." "What? Don't be silly-" "No, really. Go pack a bag with some clothes and maybe a sweater. We're going somewhere else." I sucked in an excited breath and watched him attempting to ignore me even though the smile on his face was completely evident. "Where? Where are we going?" He directed his attention out the balcony doors and said, "Oh, not too far. I just hope you don't get seasickness." "What are you planning?" Bill tried to busy himself again by putting a tin of coffee away with the most exaggerated slowness he could. I pushed him to get him to tell me whatever it was he was getting at but the more I pushed for an answer the more he wanted to withhold it. Finally, when he had finished putting all of the groceries away, he turned to me with his arms crossed over his chest in a let-me-tell-you-what kind of way. I widened my eyes with expectation. "I'm taking you out on a date. We're taking my grandparents' boat and we are going to spend some time on the water." "What? Can you do that? You can drive a boat?" He chuckled. "First of all, you don't drive a boat, you sail a boat and second of all, I'm more than just my looks. I can sail a boat or two." "And here I was thinking that your only talent was being sexy as fuck." Bill smiled as he scooped me up with his hands holding my ass and set me on the kitchen counter so I was a little more at his height but still not quite there. His soft lips pressed against mine and I nearly sighed into the kiss. Letting my mouth slide all over his plump lower lip was so richly satisfying I thought I would never get enough of his taste. When we pulled away I opened my eyes before he did and saw the soft look of pure lust making him look even more beautiful than he already was. He inhaled sharply through his nose and fluttered his eyes open, lips shiny with moisture and so inviting that I had to kiss them again. He chuckled and stood back from the counter, hands still on either side of me. "As much as I want to fucking devour you right now... We should wait." "I don't want to wait." "Trust me. It's going to be worth it." ~*~ The most exciting part about being on Bill's grandfather's boat was not the smell of the ocean or the relaxation of being surrounded by nothing but water or even the fact that the boat had a cabin the size of a decent apartment, it was watching him sail us out far enough so that Mirth Island looked like a speck in the distance. When there was nothing else around to stare at but each other, that was when I felt a warmth blossom inside of me that spread through my body so fast it was enough to rightly, truly freak me out. The sun was starting to set and he stood tall behind the wheel, a small smile on his lips when he gazed out into the open, sun kissing his face and shining off of his dark sunglasses. We anchored the boat and Bill sat beside me as the sun went down. We didn't talk much, we only watched the sky change from blue to orange and pink like a tequila sunrise and it was just as intoxicating. I got close to him, laid my head on his chest and relaxed when his natural scent filled me. It was hard not to think about how drastically everything was changing. My life was completely turned inside out and although I felt vulnerable as ever, Bill's presence gave me an abstract sense of security. It was true what they all said about Mirth Island; once you go you come back changed. I was going to leave the island in very much the opposite way I came. I knew that I was being selfish and to most people on the outside it may have looked downright malignant of me to have left my lifelong partner to spend my time alongside a man I had just met but I had never lived a selfish day in my life up until I arrived on the island. Too long had I spent doting over Cici, turning a house into a real home, working constantly and making myself too valuable of an asset to my company. For over twenty years I had no time to dwell on my own problems because I was drowning in the problems of everyone else. Maybe I was selfish and maybe I was just as ruthless as Cici had been but when I went into the cabin with Bill and began to notice the unmistakable warmth of home I knew that I could not be wrong. I could not deny myself this. I deserved to be happy.

[ill-skillsgard]

Damn Straight, Part 5 - Bill Skarsgård

Title: Damn Straight

Description: Deceptions bring a young couple to Mirth Island, a place of natural beauty and the promise of inner healing. When one of them is introduced to a young man who lives on the island, their budding friendship threatens to destroy more than just trust.

Warning: 18+ sex/swearing/drug use/mentions of addiction and cheating

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

When I woke up in Bill's bed the next morning I started to feel panic inside of me. Although we didn't explicitly have sex the night before, we did cross a hard line. I had done it again. Slowly and without a sound, I got out of my laying position beside him and sat up in bed, planted my feet on the cool floor and breathed in deeply to ward off the wash of anxiety that was already blanketing me. With my head in my hands, I started to picture all of the terrible things that had happened over the course of the last year. I remembered the fight Cici and I had that ended with me leaving the house because I simply could not stand to be around her. It was over some stupid, mundane issue that she had decided to throw an ostentatious grenade at. I could hardly remember what happened but I did remember that it was enough for me to be sure that I wanted nothing more to do with her. I recalled entering a bar and ordering a double rye and ginger that I finished in under two minutes and then ordering straight shots to just get the job done properly. I remembered wanting to feel as numb as possible. I vaguely recalled a man hitting on me because I was alone at the bar taking shot after shot then saying more to myself than to him, "fuck it! I want to fuck my first guy!" I made that guy take me to his car so I could feed the demon that had been growing ever larger inside of me day by day. When I was starting to question myself, I would attribute my desire to that of an evil living within me. It was a shadow attached to my heels that tormented me and made me feel like I was sick but it was part of me nevertheless and that's what was so scary about it. The demon lived inside of my head and got bigger anytime I even gave thought to a man I passed on the street or saw a commercial for men's designer cologne. I remembered thinking, finally, this was what it was like to have a cock inside of me. A real cock, not a silicone vibrator or a couple of fingers. This was what it was like to be man-handled in the back of a car. I remembered the guilt I felt that followed and the pain I was in two weeks after. The doctor told me I had to take antibiotics because I had tested positive for a sexually transmitted disease. I told Cici I was just going to get a pap test so that she wouldn't be suspicious. The shame I had was so palpable thought that I couldn't even act like everything was okay. Then she found the medication bottle I was hiding in my purse and she quickly threw it together. That fight could have ended with both of us in the back of a squad car if I hadn't decided to tell another lie. I told her it wasn't my fault, that it was beyond my control. I told her I had a sex addiction to cover for the fact that I had cheated on her and she had found out. It was a flimsy little wimp of a lie but it seemed to convince her not to destroy everything in our house and bought me a little grace. Then came the pathetic attempts at putting the pieces of our shattered relationship back together. She would try to engage me sexually but when she sat in my lap and ground herself against me I felt the opposite of arousal. I wanted to push her away. I couldn't tell her that I didn't want to have sex with her so I resorted to claiming that I had to be celibate in order to overcome my fake addiction to sex. It only put her off for a couple more weeks. All the while I was trying to mentally prepare myself to tell her that I wanted to see other people. I wanted to move out and get my own apartment but when I paused to think about everything, I realized I would be giving away much more than just our twenty-year relationship. I would be giving up the house we had bought together, the promises we made, the first love I ever knew. But I just wasn't the same person as I was and it was easy to see, especially for her. When I finally alluded to the fact that I had been giving thought to us parting ways she did everything in her power to make me regret my statement. She threw things at me and screamed louder than I ever knew her to be capable of. With handfuls of her own hair tangled in her fingers, she broke down and told me that she would die if I left her. I told her that I couldn't be around her when she was like that so she locked herself in the bathroom. I tried to get her to open the door but she refused to. I remembered her turning the shower on and me thinking, "oh good, she's going to have a shower and calm down so that we can talk about this after." The shower went on for ten minutes and then twenty. Once she had been in there for thirty minutes with the water running I started to get a little freaked out. I turned the doorknob again but was met with resistance from the lock. I knocked and waited for her to scream at me to fuck off. I knocked harder and harder until I was the one screaming at her to let me in. Fearing the worst, I went to the front closet to put on a pair of boots so I could kick the door in. I remember how many times I had to hoof the door with all of my might and then some before it gave way, cracking and eventually splintering underneath the sole of my Doc Marten boot. Steam from the hot water billowed out of the hole I created and even more so as I totally demolished the solid antique door to get inside. When I ripped back the shower curtains she was laying in a heap at the bottom of the tub, wrists flapped open and bleeding out to wash away underneath the spray of the shower head. The culprit- a pair of bloodstained hair-cutting scissors were splayed out on the floor next to the tub. Screaming in terror, I quickly ran to get towels. I wrapped her bleeding arms up after I hauled her limp body out of the tub and onto the cold tiles. She was bleeding so much that it continued to gush out from the thick towel moments after I wound it around her arms. I had to call the police but I didn't want to leave her side for even a second. Hooking my arms underneath her armpits, I dragged her rubber doll of a body out of the bathroom into the kitchen where my cell phone had been charging. I remember the ride to the hospital and pacing in the staunch white box of a waiting room to find out if she was going to die or not. Minutes turned into an hour and my high-strung, anxiety-riddled brain had convinced me that she was gone. There was no way she could have survived ripping open her arms that wide. When they told me she, in fact, was going to make it I felt the strangest wringing in my gut. She was going to blame this on me. This was going to be my fault whether I accepted it or not. She was going to dangle this over my head until the end of my days. And I was right. After the shock of the incident subsided a couple of weeks later, she pulled her suicide card on me. Cici wanted to have sex and if I didn't have sex with her she was going to find a way to kill herself again. So I had sex with her and after it I sat on the end of the bed with silent tears pouring down my cheeks as she laid under the blankets, satisfied and content with herself. The more she reminded me of what she had done simply because I suggested we take time apart, the more I came to resent her and the farther away I strayed from the thought of wanting to patch things up. I knew for a long time that I would eventually have to free myself from her but I just didn't know how. Our families were practically planning our wedding, our house was in both our names and if I didn't give Cici exactly what she wanted she would flash her big thick, pink scars at me. I was done with that, I decided. If she would have rather died than be without me, what would I be able to do? I couldn't live under her thumb any longer. My true self was only beginning to break through the chrysalis. There was no turning back for me. After I came out of my own thoughts and became aware of my surroundings again, I looked over at Bill who was still asleep. Sweet, loving, caring Bill. I sighed as I took in his form and how he was stretched out from the head of the bed to the foot. My heart sang every time I recalled kissing his lips or him touching my face or the way he looked in the moonlight the night we all got too high. I crawled over the bed and ran my fingers through his hair, petting him until his eyes fluttered open. "Good morning," he rasped. "Good morning," I replied. "Have you been up long?" He asked me. I shook my head no. "I have to find Cici today. Or at least find out if she actually did leave the island." Bill sat up in bed and rubbed his face with those enormous hands. "Yes. We should look for her. I mean... If you want my help?" "Yes. I think I need your help." "Okay," he said, still sleepy but growing more alert with each second. We had a little bit to eat and Bill changed into some fresh clothes before we went downstairs to my suite. When we entered the room I tried to survey it thoroughly to see if anything had changed since I left. It didn't look like anyone had been there. I went through the drawers that Cici had stuffed her clothes into and saw that they were all still there. Bill checked the bathroom and the kitchen and I looked out the patio doors to see if by chance she was outside somewhere. When I turned back around I gasped, drawing Bill from the kitchen with a furrowed-brow look of concern. "Cici..." I said. She was standing in the doorway wearing the same thing she was wearing when she had left. I hadn't seen her in over twenty-four hours and it looked like she hadn't showered or eaten anything or slept a wink. "Did you two have a lovely night together?" She asked, voice frighteningly low. "Where did you go?" I asked. "Don't avoid my question." I looked over at Bill and swallowed hard. He stood at the step leading up to the kitchenette with his hands shoved into his pants pockets and his eyes wide with worry for the both of us. "I am not going to entertain you by answering pointless questions. Bill is just here to help." "Help with what? Your cock-addiction?" She spat. "Cici-" Bill was cut off. "Shut up! Who even ARE you, anyway? Some guy that fucks people's girlfriends when they come to this stupid island to try to fix their relationships? Huh? Where's the fucking peace and love and unity in that?" "Don't talk to him like that, Cici." "Oh, so you're defending him now? You must be a really nice fuck-toy if Vye is defending you! Did she tell you that she caught chlamydia from a dirty cock once?" I recoiled only slightly. Bill started to get this look of anger about him as Cici went on. "Enough! Cici... You and Vye need to settle this shit right now." Cici cocked her hip in that dramatic teenage way that I detested. "Then why are you here, Bill?" "He's here in case you decide to slice your fucking wrists again. Because no one human is capable of handling your bullshit. You're volatile." Cici began to laugh and held up her hands as though asking me to stop talking. "Oh, you don't have to worry about that, Vye. I'm not going to kill myself because of you. I want to stick around to watch your life fall to pieces without me in it." "I'm not going back," I stated, more sure of myself than ever. She scoffed at me, tossed a look in Bill's direction and then back to where I was standing. "Oh! Oh! This is good. Let me guess... You two are in love and you are going to stay on the island with him?" "Yes," Bill said. "She is going to stay with me if she needs to." "Cici," I started, taking a long breath in. "We are done. We have been done for so long but we are so fucking over now that it's not even painful to me anymore. You have exhausted every method of controlling me that you possibly can. I'm not going to fall for any of your screaming fits or suicide-attempts ever again." She crossed her arms and fumbled with what to say next so I continued. "There was a time when I thought you and I were going to go all the way but that time is long gone. And I want to be one hundred percent honest with you now... I am not anything like the person I was in high school or even a couple of years ago. I haven't been attracted to you for a long time and it has nothing to do with the fact that I like men. It has to do with the fact that you are a hideous person on the inside. You are fucking twisted and evil and the shit that you have done to me is so much worse than what I have done to you." "You're trying to tell me that cheating on your partner and getting the clap is worse than what I did?" Cici challenged me. "Yeah, I made a mistake but you haven't let me live it down for even a day since. You've been using your emotional manipulation to beat me down for months and months instead of thinking that maybe I have been having a hard time accepting who I am. You are so blind to anything that doesn't directly benefit you." "Well then..." She started. "If this is the end, so be it. I'll take all of my things and I'll leave you so you can finally be happy. There's a ferry leaving in an hour and I will be on it and when I get home I will pack my things and leave the house. You can deal with it all. You can pay the mortgage and all the bills and you won't have to see me ever again." My eyes fell to the floor for a moment. Her reaction was not what I expected. I thought she was going to go off like a time bomb and try to use one of her notorious fits to shift the focus away from what I was telling her. Her tone was anything but child-like, her calmness was alarming. She didn't even look like she was going to shed a tear. "Fine... If that's what you want," I said to her. "It is. I hope you have yourself a wonderful little life on Mirth Island. Now, if you please, leave so I can pack my stuff. I'd rather not have you fucking people gawking at me." Bill crossed the room and pushed me toward the patio door. I allowed him to guide me outside and when he shut the sliding door behind us I stared out over the beach. "Vye..." Bill said as I started towards the sand. "Vye! Wait!" I made my way down the path, putting as much space between myself and Cici as I possibly could. Bill followed behind me and tried to grasp my arm but I just kept trudging through the sand down to the water. "What are you doing?" He called out. There was nothing he could do to stop me so he settled for following until we reached the wet lip of the beach and even then I kept going, splashing through the tide, pulling my legs through the waves until it became hard for me to wade any further. When I was up to my navel in the water I dropped to my knees, plunging in and cutting off the sound of Bill's yelling. I let the water wash over me and exalted the deep running drone of the ocean. When I emerged for breath, Bill had stopped yelling for me. The water was cool and refreshing and I probably looked like a crazy person but I didn't care. I needed it. I had to wash away the residue of so many years of confusion and inner pain. I was released. I was self-aware. The anchor that had held me in place for so long had come free and I was finally able to drift away. The tide carried me back a little and I stood up on the sandbar. Splashing behind me told that Bill was approaching. A huge pair of arms wrapped around my body and I wrapped my own arms around them, dropping my head so that he couldn't see the tears running down my face. "Vye? Are you okay?" He asked, pressing a kiss to the back of my head. "Yes," I sobbed. "Yes." "You sure?" I nodded. "I am so fucking okay right now. More okay than I have ever been." I spun in his embrace and replaced my arms around his neck. He had to lean over to hold me the way I needed to be held. I kissed his smooth warm shoulder and his neck while I clung to him tightly, indulging my need to breathe in his scent and touch his skin. "Thank you," I whispered, unable to overcome my tears again. "Thank you so much." "Thank you for what?" He asked, half laughing, half absolutely dumbfounded. "For just being you. For being here. Thank you for being with me." He wrapped me up in his arms again and I felt so small pressed against his chest. He brushed my wet hair away from my face, kissed the top of my head once more and made sure he was holding onto me as tight as he could without hurting me. The sounds of the waves crashing in the distance were like music, his embrace a warm blanket around my body. We stood there for what felt like an hour. Nobody walking down the beach stopped to call to us and Bill didn't suggest we move until I was good and ready. When I was, he took my hand and led me back to the dry sand. He took my face between his hands and stared down at me lovingly. "I'm proud of you," he whispered. "Thank you." The heat of the sun began to dry my hair already. It was a gorgeous day and there was hardly a soul on the beach. Bill hugged me again and I couldn't help the way I broke down. It was hard not to sob into his shirt but I knew that I needed to. Months of emotions were spilling from me and I could do nothing to stop it. But it felt good to let go. I spent a lot of time just clinging to Bill and he knew that I needed it badly. I needed love and understanding and for somebody to tell me it was all right for me to feel the things I was feeling. After I had mostly cried myself dry, we decided to go back to the suite. Just like Cici claimed, the room was free of her belongings. Her suitcase that had been sitting next to mine was gone and she had left the room key on the bedside table. The drawers she had occupied were empty and all of her shoes were missing. Out of habit, I looked through my things to make sure everything was accounted for and when I was satisfied, I turned to Bill and sighed. "Everything good?" He asked. "Yeah. Everything is fine." ~*~ After the sunset circle concluded, I left the beach and went straight back to Seaside, up the stairs and right through Bill's door. He was sitting on the balcony smoking a cigarette, waiting for me to come back. When he saw me, he took one last drag and crushed the butt end out into an ashtray. I joined him on the balcony and sat on his lap. He tasted like smoke when I kissed him but I didn't mind that much. All I wanted was to kiss him and keep kissing him until I couldn't anymore. "Vye, I have something I want to tell you, a secret I guess." He said, pulling away from our embrace. He ran his hands over my legs and up my back, shifting in his chair so he was more comfortable. I was about to stand up but he didn't allow me to move, instead, he held onto me tighter. "Why didn't you come to circle and tell the ocean your secrets like the rest of us, huh?" I asked playfully. He flashed me that sweet smile, the one that stretched out his full lips over his beautiful face and revealed the cute dimple he had on his chin. "It's more of a between-you-and-me secret. I don't need the whole island to know." "What's up?" He sighed into the air and looked into the room then back at me. "I really wasn't going to tell anyone this but I also wasn't planning on meeting you. But... for the last couple of weeks I have been planning on moving." "Moving?" "Yeah. I'm going to be moving back to Sweden soon." "Oh," was all I managed to say. My heart began to sink into my stomach but Bill saved it by tilting my chin back up so he could look at my face. "I want you to come. I know it's fucking crazy and we just kind of met but... I want you to come with me." "What? Are you serious?" I asked, shock evident in my tone. "I know you have a lot of things to deal with back in BC but I know I'm not wrong about us. I want you here. I want you with me." "Bill..." I began but had no idea where I was going with it. "I told you that I couldn't promise I wouldn't be all over you." He reminded me. "I know, I know. It's just... Dude, I have a lot of fucking baggage right now." "So do I. So does everyone! I don't care. Baggage comes with anyone. I have seen your fucking baggage!" We both started to laugh and once we settled down Bill looked at me with his sparkling eyes and kissed me again. "Come to Sweden with me. You have spent your whole life in one place, doing one thing and I have spent a lot of time here by myself. I think the both of us could really use a change of scenery." "You are my change of scenery! You are a very big change of scenery!" Bill pressed his lips to my collarbone and purred, "Yeah, really big. You like how big I am." His hands ran down my back and didn't stop until his fingers couldn't push any further down the back of my shorts. Now that everything had been blasted open and Cici was gone, I had no feelings of guilt when it came to how attracted I was to him. I knew that as soon as we went back into the room and closed the doors I was going to find out exactly what it was like to be with a man. Bill rocked me with his hips a little bit and let his hand ghost over the front of my shirt. I shuddered when he squeezed my breast and stared up at me with those puppy eyes, even though he was anything but innocent. "Is it too soon? I don't want to freak you out." He said apologetically. "No, it's all right. It's not too soon. I just don't know what to say." "How about this? We'll forget about what I said tonight and you will go inside to take off those little shorts and that shirt and you're going to slip out of that little bikini and I'm going to meet you in the shower." "Then what?" I teased. "Then... I'm going to show you what it's like to have your pussy played with by a real man. That okay with you?" "Yes," I squeaked. "Good," He said, giving me a spank as I stood up to go do exactly what he had told me.

[headoverhiddles]

You’ll Float Too [Bill Skarsgård/Pennywise x Fem!Reader]

A/n: Well guys, I’ve finally made the foray into the fold. Done are the days I simply reblog for this fandom– look out for some more Bill or Penny x readers coming. It’s the first day of Halloween today, so be prepared, I’m spoopily inspired :) 

Warnings: Hint of dub-con. Brief smut. Sexy clowns.

“Bill?”

Your feet barely make a sound against the floorboards as you carefully trek out of the bedroom. Your husband, Bill Skarsgård, had told you he would just be a moment– that the noise was probably just the broken furnace in the old house you two had just bought. This was, of course, after you had so abruptly been interrupted.

“Fuck, baby,” you had whispered, grinding against him and dipping down to slip your tongue back into his mouth.

“Look at how wet you are for me,” he had growled, fingers curling up inside of you mercilessly as his thumb rubbed your clit. You bounce on his fingers, one leg on either side of his own long ones.

“Bill, I-” you gasp, squealing as he readjusted his hand, shoving his fingers even deeper.

“Love feeling that pussy squeeze around me…” he tugged you down, licking his fingers off with a pop. “Love feeling it around my dick.”

“I’ve got something else in mind,” you grinned, moving the covers down to brush your lips against his clothed, hardened cock.

“Fuck,” he breathed in turn, breath hitching as you give a lick through his pyjama pants. That was when the noise had sounded.

Your head had popped up. “What was-”

“That?” he echoed at the same time.

“It’s probably the rain,” you murmur, “The thunderstorm is loud.”

“Sure… but rain or no rain, if that fucking piece of shit of a furnace is broken again, I’m gonna-” You envelop his lips again, but he groans, softly pushing you off. “Here, I’ve gotta fix the thing, I don’t wanna freeze all night. I’ll be back in a second, babe,” he had promised, kissing your forehead. You had smiled, and tugged at his loose pyjama pants from the bed.

“You’d better be. I want these off.”

A smirk your way, and he had dashed off downstairs.

Now, it had been a long while, and you hadn’t heard him answer any of your calls for him.

Coming to the door of the basement, you open it cautiously.

“Bill, where are you?” You tug his oversized “cast” T-shirt he had kept from Allegiant further down over your panties. It was cold down here, and– you gasp. The basement was flooded. Was the thunderstorm really that bad?

“Bill,” you hiss, “I hate it down here… did you fix the furnace?!”

You hear a ripple in the water, and swallow, taking another step down. “Hey… can you hear me? It’s still freezing, it must not be wor-” You stop, and gaze around. There’s no sign of your husband. You turn, and bite your lip. Maybe he’s upstairs in the kitchen, and he faked the furnace just to get a midnight snack…

No, but you were about to go down on him. The day Bill evaded a blow job for the last slice of carrot cake in your fridge was the day hell froze over.

Speaking of freezing over… You shiver again, and begin to take two stairs at a time up– until you hear another ripple, and a small splash.

“Bill?” you repeat for the billionth time, sighing as you turn back. “What are you– oh!” You find Bill standing by the far wall, up to his knees in water.

“What are you doing?” you ask incredulously, clutching your heart at the startle. He just stares at you. “What the fuck are you looking at?” you ask playfully, and smack your ass with a small smile. “Come up and get it.” You bite your lip and turn toward the door, but Bill doesn’t follow. You huff. “I’m getting a towel for you. No way I’m letting you in the bed with soaking legs.” He still makes no move. “Bill!! Come on!”

This time, he smiles.

“But (y/n),” he says quietly, “If you come with me… you’ll float too.”

“What?” you mutter, and then you roll your eyes so far back you’re sure they’ve hit the front of your brain. “Oh Christ. Your movie line? Really? My husband played a killer clown, I’m not scared of anything.” You let out a laugh that seems out of place in the eerie, dripping basement. “Stop being a dork and come with me, will you?” You hold out a hand, making a grabby motion.

He takes a step forward. “You’ll float too.”

“Only if you provide the finest duck floaties,” you tease, grinning, “AND poolside cocktails.”

“You’ll float too.”

“Yeah, okay, that’s nice, let’s g-”

“You’ll float too,” he begins to laugh, and you frown.

“Bill, st-”

“You’ll float too!” his voice takes on a giggly pitch, then his face changes. “You’ll float too, you’ll float too, you’ll float too-”

You back away, and your eyes widen as Bill’s face slowly begins to peel off, revealing flesh and teeth and bone. “You’ll float too! You’ll float too!” His voice is now low, demonic, and his eyes are clouding over as blood runs from them.

“Baby,” you breathe, a tear running down your cheek. He was decomposing right before your eyes, and you could do nothing about it– it was the most horrible thing you’d ever seen.

“You’ll float TOO! YOU’LL FLOAT TOO!” he begins to shout, eyes blazing as his mouth falls open.

“Stoppit!” you scream, and hide your eyes, clutching the railing. You suddenly hear silence, so you look up. There, in place of Bill, is Pennywise the fucking dancing clown, grinning over at you.

What the fuck?

“You smell lovely,” he titters, biting his lip with those sharp teeth you saw Bill take in and out during shooting. You could tell from the reflection of the water he was drooling, too. “So, so lovely, little girl.”

“Bill?” you ask softly, because really, it’s all you’ve remembered by way of words.

“Bill? Bill?” Pennywise mocks, shaking himself violently, “Where are you?! It’s cold, and I’m such a slut that I can’t wait five minutes for you to fuck me!” He arches his back, mimicking your moans from upstairs, and you gasp.

“That’s right,” he giggles gleefully, “You don’t think I can smell i-t?” He takes a deep breath. “Mmmmm, I smelled it on him before I snapped his spine!”

“No,” you sob, and the clown glares.

“Yes! You smell good. Special. Like nothing I’ve ever taste-d… I want to taste you.”

You clench your jaw. Your legs are shaking, but… those eyes, boring down on you… they couldn’t… be doing things to you, could they? Suddenly, you’re disgusted with yourself.

“Are you scared?” he laughs, half to himself. “I do hope so. That will make it taste so much better.”

“Why?” you breathe shakily, “Why are you here?”

“Because,” Pennywise growled, “Just like your precious Bill said, before he died in agony…” The clown’s eyes lit up, glowing. “YOU’LL FLOAT TOO!” It came out as an otherworldly scream, and suddenly, Pennywise was lurching at you, slamming you onto the staircase and tossing open your legs–

“AH!” you shriek, and open your eyes. The room is dark, and the covers over you are strewn around. Bill turns over beside you, brow crinkling as he blinks open his own eyes.

“Hey… what’s going on?” He yawns. “You okay?”

“I,” you murmur, then start crying. He wakes himself fully up now, leaning over and cradling your head.

“Hey… hey, hey, you’re okay,” he’s frowning, concerned, as he pulls you into his arms, “You’re okay… whatever it was, it was just a dream, (y/n).”

“You were… but you were–” you try to articulate, sobbing uncontrollably. Bill, with all his facial features still perfectly intact, stares down at you earnestly.

“Hey. Just a dream. Okay? I’ve got you. I’m okay. See? I’m here.” His soft voice lulls you back into a calm state, and you clutch his arms and bury your face in his chest. Maybe his movie had gotten to you more than you thought… and the secret you had kept from him that you actually found him attractive in his costume.

He lays you back down, and strokes your hair back, whispering how much he loves you in your ear. You never want to let go… sleep begins to take you again.

Bill looks down at your sleeping form, and adjusts his head on the pillow, turning over. You make no move to wake up. He closes his eyes, then they open again slowly to reveal yellow orbs. As you fall asleep, you think you hear a gentle giggle, but it was just a dream… just a dream…