#but their tumblr is deactivated and you can’t find any trace and you just really hope they’re like

[lizord-lord]

coming into a fandom late is finding a bunch of new fic authors to love who haven’t updated in ages so you’re just sitting there, trying to psychically project into the aether that all of them regain their hyperfixations so you get to see more spectacular writing

[asksugarrush]

Sometimes I think I should try to erase every possible trace of my existence online

I’ve come to despise the very name I once loved to be called due to it being tarnished from stupid mistakes I made in the past that people won’t let me live down

Why is that? I forgive and forget, I try to move on, I try to be better. But you all only wish me to suffer because of my past. How fucking dare you. Yes, I hurt you, yes I was stupid. But you have no RIGHT to completely cut me out of your life and villanise me against everyone who had once been close to me

I feel out of place here because you’ve returned. When you left I felt like this place was my home, you had Twitter to be your domain and we would be separate

But now I find you’re back on Tumblr and I have to do everything in my power to not contact you

I feel like it’s all a slap to the face like “look at me, I’m back! Here to ruin any possible chance of redemption you had!”

I really feel like Angel Dust… Abandoned, used… trapped under a contract I can’t get out of just because I was stupid enough to let my feelings get the best of me

Your names echo in my mind haunting me eternally

Why can’t you just leave me be?! I’m going insane with the fact that no matter how hard I try to forget you, you force your way back into my mind

It’s fine. I’ll continue to take the blame for you. Continue to let my mental health waste away knowing I could have tried to change that outcome now that years have passed and I’ve changed

But you won’t let me

Someday I’m going to deactivate and put myself in a mental facility purposefully for the rest of my life so I can’t hurt anyone else

[jesus-otaku]

Title: Reset

Fandom: Mystic Messenger

Pairing: Zen x MC, Yoosung x MC, Jaehee x MC (platonic), etc. I think you get the idea

Word count: 3029

This idea has been bouncing around in my head for ages, so I finally decided to just sit down and write it. I’m so disappointed that Tumblr formatting ruined some of the stuff, but it can’t be helped. Hopefully when it goes up on AO3 the formatting won’t get too messed up. Without any further ado, I present a fic in which all of the characters retain their memories after the reset and are aware of the reset. I haven’t played through all the routes yet and my memory is a little foggy on others so please have mercy on me for my accuracy or lack thereof.

How could she hit the reset so cheerfully?

They had all agreed at the start: there would be no grudges, it was her choice, and none of them would interfere with the others' chances. It was just a game to her, so there was no sense in being dramatic about it. And she couldn't know that they knew about the reset. No, that secret had to stay with them.

Welcome to the RFA!

Zen, though not surprised, was ecstatic to be chosen first. She had seen his charms! He was handsome, he was famous, he was talented, so of course he would be chosen. He threw himself into love headfirst; never mind the others watching on with slight traces of envy. They would get their turns. Phone calls passed by in a blur. He sang to her, dreamed of holding her in his arms, wondered what it might be like to kiss her. When Echo Girl started her ridiculous rumors, his newfound love was only a chat room away to comfort and support him.

And then the bomb came, and real, genuine fear seized his heart. His hands shook as he demanded that Seven give him the address of the apartment. Frankly, he would have liked to deck Seven one in the face for putting her in danger like this. How could he let her stay in an apartment with a bomb all this time and never say anything? How could he not do something? She was supposed to be their princess, wasn't she? And Seven had just left the RFA's princess in an apartment loaded with a bomb, like she was an expendable tool they could demolish whenever they liked.

Zen didn't know who the stranger holding her captive was, and he was too worried about her to care to find out. And when they managed to escape the deadly apartment, he wished he could wrap her up in his arms and never let go. He didn't think he could have borne it if she had been killed.

God, why did there have to be a reset?

Don't leave me.

He was going to make a press statement, and finish these rumors once and for all. And maybe once his love saw how much he cared for her, she wouldn't reset, and they could live happily ever after just like a fairy tale.

Don't leave me.

She loved him, right? She couldn't have been pretending this whole time. He'd opened up to her so much, treated her so well, tried his hardest to overcome his struggles for her. She had to love him, even just a little, didn't she?

Please don't leave me.

Why was she hitting the reset?

Babe, please don't—

Welcome to the RFA!

Yoosung nearly cried with happiness when he realized he had been chosen.

Okay, maybe he did cry.

But just a little.

She didn't stand for any of his nonsense about Rika. He'd thought they were alike, but with a firm kindness she asserted over and over again that she was no replacement for Rika. He came to understand soon enough. She really wasn't Rika. But she was still amazing, in her own beautiful way, and Yoosung fell for her like a ton of bricks. He couldn't even focus on LOLOL when his mind wandered to her. Hell, he would quit games altogether if it meant she would see him as more than a child. It drove him crazy that he wasn't allowed to go see her. He wanted so badly to see what she looked like, to actually experience their first meeting face-to-face.

There was a bomb in the apartment this whole time?

Yoosung wanted to throw something out of sheer frustration. How could V have let something like this happen? What had possessed him to think that letting Rika keep a bomb in her apartment was a good idea? Sure, Seven said that V kept calling him and leaving worried messages, but Seven always defended V just like everyone else did. And why hadn't Seven done anything to deactivate the bomb after Rika's suicide? Why wouldn't he give Yoosung the damn address so he could go and rescue her? He hated not being able to do anything for her. Sitting there and worrying wouldn't save her, but Seven wouldn't allow him to do the one thing he believed he was capable of doing.

Going with Seven to resolve the issue was as close as he was going to get. Yoosung knew he wasn't much of a knight in shining armor, but for her, he would have to try. She was his princess this time, and he had to protect her.

His eye would heal, but if he lost her, his heart would never recover.

Don't reset.

He tried his hardest to warn her before the party that he wasn't going to be looking his best, but he still saw a flash of worry on her face when she saw the bandages for the first time. His heart fluttered. Finally, they could see each other, touch each other, share a kiss.

I've never loved anyone like this before.

She couldn't reset now. She couldn't. They had just gotten to meet in person. There was no way she was already tired of him, right? There was still so much he wanted to do with her, so many places he wanted to take her. Was he still just a child to her after all? Or was this really all just a game for her?

Don't reset.

What had he done wrong?

Please don't reset, I love—

Welcome to the RFA!

Jaehee was pleasantly surprised to be chosen next. She hadn't expected much, since Mr. Han had gone to such great lengths to make sure she wouldn't stand out in any way. She was just an office assistant. Why would she choose such a dull route?

But oh, God, it was glorious to have a female friend. Jaehee couldn't help the grin that would come over her face when she saw her in the chat room, or when her name popped up on the caller ID. And she fought so valiantly for Mr. Han to cut Jaehee some slack. Jaehee would have hugged her forever if she could have, just for that alone. Finally, there was someone else who was willing to fangirl over Zen's musicals, who supported her interests, who would fight tooth and nail to get her better working conditions.

When the presentation was a flop, she was there in the chat room as if she somehow already knew what had happened. Jaehee had an inkling of a suspicion that Zen's visit could be credited to her as well, although she didn't have any proof of that. She just wished she could have offered the same level of support in return.

From Zen and Yoosung's play-throughs before her, she knew there was a bomb in the apartment. But nothing happened this time, and so she kept quiet about the bomb. There was no sense in going through another scare if they didn't have to, and Jaehee was sure that her newfound friend had enough problems of her own without having to worry about the bomb for a third time.

Would she stay if Jaehee asked?

Please, stay.

The coffee shop would be like a dream come true. It was a simple dream, nothing grandiose, but Jaehee was willing to hope that it would be enough to keep them together. Maybe she would stay. Maybe there would be no reset this time, and they could continue like this forever.

Please don't leave me.

Weren't they friends? Hadn't they formed a strong bond with one another? Had this just been a fun diversion from all the drama of the other routes for her? Jaehee had been pushing herself so hard to grow as a person. Was that all for nothing? Would she have to go back to being a mindless assistant at C&R for the rest of her life?

Stay, please, stay.

Had they ever really been friends at all?

I thought you were—

Welcome to the RFA!

As soon as he saw that he had been chosen, Jumin braced himself. He had seen what a mess the others had turned into after their resets, and he didn't want to be the next in a line of broken hearts. He would go through the motions, and play along for the next eleven days, and that was it.

But damn it all, when she tried to win your heart, she really gave it her best effort. Jumin never stood a chance.

He did well at avoiding the inevitable for the first few days. It was stressful, with his father's new fiancée and the nightmares that ensued as a result, but he managed to get through it. And then Elizabeth 3rd escaped.

In the middle of him questioning whether he was really meant to be a pet owner, she stepped fully into the picture. She mentioned that Jaehee had suggested she come, but that didn't matter to him. She was still there. She had agreed to come, and that alone tore down half of the barriers he had built up. He latched onto her, perhaps a little greedily, the only person offering him unconditional comfort in this hellish week.

He couldn't help kissing her. Sarah was just too obnoxious, and he couldn't think of another way to convince his so-called fiancée to leave. Besides, he'd been thinking about going in for the kiss all day. But then he was a goner. Consequences be damned, he loved her.

And now he was terrified of losing her.

I need you by my side.

Maybe saying that he wanted to keep her in the penthouse was a mistake. Maybe that was going to scare her off. He was just so afraid of her leaving and never coming back. He didn't know what else to do. Would getting rid of Sarah and proposing be enough to convince her not to reset?

I can't lose you.

No, no, no, no. What had done it? Where had he gone wrong? Was he too possessive after all? Was she going to go back to one of the others who wasn't so clingy? He couldn't help it. He'd never loved a woman, not like this, not this overwhelming feeling that threatened to engulf him when he so much as looked at her. Had she really loved him? Or was this all a ploy to check another route off the list? Was she actually the same as all those women who threw themselves at his father?

I need you, my love.

How could she hit the reset so cheerfully?

Don't—

Welcome to the RFA!

Seven pumped his fist in victory when he was finally, finally chosen. Truth be told, he had fallen long ago. It had been a slow kind of torture, watching her love stories unfold with everyone else, but it had been worth it to be the last to sweep the princess off her feet. Even someone like him could at least pretend to have happiness, right?

He loved being the one to make her laugh. She matched him joke for joke, prank for prank, like she somehow already knew him inside and out. If he hadn't fallen for her already, he would have thrown his guard up to protect his heart, but he'd been a goner for ages. Everything she did and said just wedged her further into his heart. What really did him in was the fact that she could see right through him when he was pretending to be the “usual” 707. He was completely transparent to her, no matter how he tried to close himself off to protect her.

“I'm dangerous,” he tried to warn her, but that didn't stop her either. Nothing seemed to stop her. Maybe that was part of why he'd fallen for her so hard. No matter what he did—ignore her, warn her, whatever—she didn't leave his side. She didn't force him to tell her anything, but she didn't make him keep it all pent up, either. He found himself being honest with her almost without thinking. It was just unconsiderable to do anything else. He wasn't supposed to leave any traces of himself in this world, but maybe it would be okay if he just left proof of his existence with her.

He was so glad she had chosen him last.

Thank you for giving me happiness.

Finally, after all this time, he had found his brother again. He could have a family again. He even dared to dream that she might be a part of that family. She wouldn't reset. There was no way she would reset. She had finally obtained the true end, so why would she reset?

You are my happiness.

She would never reset. That would be ridiculous. She'd taken his dark life, and lit it up with stars he'd thought he would never see again. You couldn't give someone joy like that and then just leave. She wouldn't reset. No, she couldn't reset. If she reset, he would lose everything.

Please don't take away my happiness.

WHY WOULD SHE HIT THE RESET?

Please—

~

They walked V through the ground rules carefully. They promised there would be no interference with his love story. As broken as they all were, they couldn't bear to sabotage her new chance at happiness. And there was to be no revealing their reset memories.

Welcome to Mint Eye!

V wasn't sure how to handle being put in the spotlight. He had been in the background for so long, it felt odd and out-of-place to be the love interest. Especially when he was involved with Rika. His sunshine. How on earth was he supposed to be an even halfway decent love interest when he was already in love?

But it didn't take long for him to see why the others had fallen so quickly and so desperately. She was angelically kind, but tough as nails. Nothing seemed to daunt her. And she was nice to Rika—which he hadn't expected at all. He'd been afraid they would be at each other's throats. But Rika seemed to like her well enough, and there was no fighting between the two of them. If she could even deal with her alleged love interest having a significant other already, she had to be heaven-sent.

It was only when he found himself smiling like an idiot after one of their phone calls that he realized he, too, had fallen without noticing.

And he knew he had to get her out of there.

But what about Rika? That was something he couldn't quite stop wrestling over. He loved Rika, didn't he? He wanted to marry her, didn't he?

Or had that all been something else under the mistaken guise of love?

Either way, his conflicted feelings aside, he had to save her. There was no question of that. He couldn't let something happen to her.

I think I love you.

He couldn't believe he had let himself get caught. If he died because of this, he would have no one to blame except himself. He'd seen Rika changing, and he had done nothing. Like an absolute idiot, he had let it happen until it was too far along to be stopped. As he slipped in and out of consciousness, he clung to the single sliver of hope that he had that he would live, and that she would stay with him.

I love you.

Hadn't she loved him? She'd helped him discover what love really felt like—there was no way something like that could have been a lie. Right? So why would she want to reset?

You are my sunshine.

Was it really that easy for her to hit the reset like nothing had happened?

I can't—

Welcome to Mint Eye!

Ray was so happy he thought he might explode. It was finally his turn to be with her, finally his turn to be the one who made her happy. He was going to woo her so much that she would surely fall in love with him in no time. He showered her with flowers and compliments, took her to his garden, told her about the floriography he knew. She seemed happy. He hoped that meant he was doing the right things to win her over.

Then Saeran had to butt in.

She was a toy. What did all this flowery nonsense have to do with anything? She wasn't there to be the protagonist of some chintzy romance novel, she was there to be his plaything. He couldn't do anything too horrible to her, for fear of angering his Savior, but he could at least make sure she knew her place. If that meant she went hungry, so be it. It would make things interesting, if nothing else.

She didn't take the change well. But not in the dramatic, crying and whining and pleading sort of way he had been hoping for. No, she challenged him. Deliberately tried to get under his skin, into his brain. This girl was no passive toy. She was fiercer than anyone he'd ever met before.

She made him start to think…

Do I really need my Savior?

He wasn't sure who he was anymore—Ray or Saeran, it didn't matter. He was himself, whoever that might be, and he was going to help her escape from Mint Eye. To hell with the consequences. He would help her. Maybe even escape with her. It was the first time in a long time he had hoped to be truly free and happy, and it was a wonderful feeling.

I don't need my Savior anymore.

Would she really leave him, after showing such tenacity? Was everything going to end, just like that? He'd thought she had finally fallen in love with him. Had that been yet another betrayal? Was he going to be abandoned again? He didn't think he could take that kind of pain again. Not after finally believing he was free of it.

You saved me.

WHY WOULD SHE BETRAY HIM LIKE THIS?

DON'T LEAVE ME—

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