#but the truth is i did spend approximately seven straight days working on it at every possible moment. so.

[velociraptorsaurusrex]

Oh No!

[thatonesquintern13]

episode seven - the end of the world as we know it:

• “it’s just family.” “i am family” not yet!!

• and why is brady there

• but yeah alice was kinda making it about her…

• and on top of all this we still have to remember that colton dies too!! when will it end 😩

• all alice wanted to do was talk about jacob and now that kat wants to, she’s mad at her??

• elliot knowing kat’s tea preference 😭 (that’s not the point of the scene but it doesn’t hurt.)

• “the past can just… stay in the past.” this will last approximately two scenes.

• dell with the grandma-isms i love her

• why is new guy firing kat! what happened to nepotism!!

• also i just don’t think jacob would treat kat like this, so that’s another reason why im not sure that theory plays out

• dell and alice bonding 🥹

• “people think pottery is about spinning wheels and sexy ghosts.” lmao

• “a landry never gives up hope.”

• how convenient that kat find the note in the first shirt she picks out of the box…

• dell is worse at lying than elliot

• landry women always showing up to elliot’s house at ungodly hours in the morning. let that man sleep

• yeah we’re already not done with the past.

• road trip (ft. mixtapes) 🥰

• the address leading to a motel nooo

• new guy having a deadline he’s “stressing over” oh really if only you had an employee who could take some of the work load for you 🤨

• dell letting spencer from school just go on up to alice’s room. she’s not a regular grandma, she’s a cool grandma

• but also why is spencer from school coming here alone 🤨

• and offering to take alice to dinner!!! spencer from school what about zoe from school!!!!

• kat no one believes that you just. “have the week off” from work 😭 why can’t yall just tell the truth to each other

• spencer from school MAKING dinner for alice okay i was not familiar with your game.

• “where’s zoe?” yeah excellent question alice!!

• alice and kat finally!! talking!! about it!!

• “i’m not going back for jacob.” “then why go back at all?” “bc when someone is going though a hard time, their friends are there for them. and mom… we were best friends.” OKAY WHAT IF I THROW MYSELF OFF A BRIDGE

• alice walking in on del and colton arguing like🧍🏽‍♀️

• ohhh y2k new year’s eve party!!

• baby monica yelling at her future husband lmaooo

• now why is elliot wearing a tie at this party

• the cops called off the search for jacob after only two months??

• omg! baby monica: “i want it to be better than fun!” present monica: “i want it to be better than fine” once a micromanager always a micromanager!!

• baby elliot and kat singing all for you to each other like they did in the present 😭😭

• baby nick with the fish hook bracelet bc SHE HOOKED HIM so silly

• ew just realized alice wouldn’t even be born for another 8 years after this 🧍🏽‍♀️

• baby kat is straight up not having a good time dawg.

• “she just wants attention” monica now is not the time !!!

• alice knowing about baby kat’s panic attacks bc present kat still has them ):

• i know dell and colton had a lot going on, but they really did baby kat dirty. like… yall could’ve just made sure the kid you had left was okay

• oh god. i remember what happens next!!!!!! everyone remain calm.

• WALKING ARM IN ARM

• “there’s something here isn’t there?” “you feel it too?” kicking my feet twirling my hair

• “i’ve been waiting a long, long time to kiss you, kat landry…. and when i do, it’s gonna be perfect.” ELLIOT AUGUSTINE I WASN’T FAMILIAR WITH YOUR GAME 🤭🤭🤭

• he took his glasses off and everything like wow wowowow

• “you know one of these days i’m gonna have to meet [your mom]. seeing as you and [baby] kat have become good friends” “um, yeah. i think you two would actually really like each other” ☹️

• colton thanking alice for being there for kat oof

• “what do men spend money on and not tell their wives?” noo dell i promise that wasn’t it!! colton was one of the good ones!!

• the actor who plays colton kinda giving pedro pascal tbh

• present kat telling dell she feels like she’s the only one who misses jacob when that’s exactly what colton said to her twenty years earlier must’ve felt like a punch in the gut. and yet… what did dell do to change that

• dell yelling at new guy for firing kat once again so southern of her

• and see, now new guy suddenly has an injury and uses a cane?? after being unexpectedly “swamped with work” ??? that’s suspicious

• “the [*rebecca welton voice*] matriarch of port haven” this town really loves dell huh 🥹

• aww alice picking up the guitar again

• and, to no one’s surprise, kat is going back into the pond!

fin.

📺 | the way home

live blogging a season one rewatch so i can remember everything for season two 🫡

episode one:

• i hope this show goes on forever bc they clearly have a full story planned for this witch hunt

• honestly forgot about this private school situation

• dad’s suck!

• do we learn about the “one hit” orrr

• chyler leigh in glasses. that’s it that’s the thought.

• “fReEs yOu Up fOr sOmE hOmEsChoOliNg” hey why don’t you hush.

• nah bc these two are like… not even divorced yet and his gf already moved in with him? i’d set the fire alarm off too

• oh the one hit was last year’s showcase

• hallmark letting a “damned” into the script. big slay

• i do really appreciate that young dell is just andie macdowell in a dark wig.

• sorry but it’s kinda a dream to have a farm in ‘nowhere canada’ to escape to, alice.

• i love generational mommy issues 😌

• one thing about andie macdowell, that accent’s gon’ be thicc

• wet dog foreshadowing 👀

• moving in the middle of the school year is wild

• omg and a “what the hell” !!

• mystery letter 😈 (i only vaguely remember how it got sent so excited to relearn that)

• the glow-in-the-dark ceiling stars 🥺

• LMAO OKAY dell was wrong for sending her out in her pjs but it was funny hehe 🤭

• ELLIOT!!!!

• “you got a lot in common… what with your divorces.” dell that’s so southern of you

• “and me?” OOF

• dell landry: bee keeping age 😗

• fair that kat wants to talk about her brother and dad but didn’t she also…. like. leave?? 🥴

• “if you ever need to talk i’m here. any place. any… time.” very subtle elliot thank you

• ohp. guess that’s why i don’t remember the bracelet. so rose from titanic of her

• wait that’s literally how she gets in the pond ?? okay that’s on me then.

• baby kat!! (A+ casting btw 🤌🏽)

• i could not imagine sitting on TIME TRAVEL for over 14 years. good on elliot

• elliot and kat better get back together in like the first 2 minutes of s2 🤧

• baby elliot!

• as someone who lost their grandpa when i was really young, alice meeting her grandpa and their whole relationship just hits different 🥺

• no bc the 90s ARE totally back in style.

• “alice will be fine.” “jacob wasn’t.” he was 6, girl 😭

• the white witch 😟 (me: wait why am i gasping i already knew that.)

• the blurry picture is actually very clever!

• elliot just standing over the pond ominously 🧍🏻‍♂️

• idk why but i love that kat called him to yell at him.

• kat, he just knows, okay!!

fin.

[maealbert]

Visitation // The Liaison

NEW!

A/N: Episode 7 of The Liaison. Took me long enough to get this posted. A/N 2: So I forgot to post this originally for New Year’s and I had a whole part typed up so now I’m re-doing it with something new. Get ready to see Lauren (Rose) again. Master List The Liaison

tag list:  @literallyreid @idkbutspencer @literallyprentissstwin @remember-me-forever-silent-angel @cynbx @tenaciousarcadeexpert @rawritsmolly @dontshootmespence @princesswagger15 @drspencerreider @illegalcerebral @marvelfanlife @rt8815 @punkpenguin2019 @extremeobsessions101_____________________

“Mom, have you seen my algebra textbook?” Julianne says poking her head into the bedroom.

“I remember correctly, you left in the kitchen last night.” Lucy responds as she finishes buttoning up her shirt.

“Thanks.”

Spencer steps out of the bathroom dragging a two year along with him. Isaiah clung to his shin not wanting to let go. “Are you sure you’ll be okay going to see Lauren by yourself? I can always take off as well be a consult by phone.”

“No, no,” Lucy says shaking her head. “I’ll be just fine going by myself. She can’t hurt me.”

“I know, I just… I just worry.”

“I understand,” Lucy says wrapping her arms around Spencer’s waist. “But I need to do this on my own. She’s my sister and there’s some catching up we need to do.”

“So she can say she told you so?”

“I don’t care. I just want to start fresh with her.”

“I still can’t forgive her for kidnapping Julianne.”

“It took me some time but she’s my sister, she’s family. Forgiveness is more powerful than resentment. Just keep that in mind.”

Spencer sighs. “I guess you’re right.”

“Aren’t I always?” Lucy says shooting a smirk. Giggling she leans up on her toes and gives him a kiss. “Now get going. You’re gonna be late for work. You know how Emily gets when we’re late to the briefing.”

“Oh that reminds me!” Spencer says snapping his fingers. “Andrew’s stopping by tonight to pick up the screwdriver.”

“Which one?”

“The Black & Decker one.”

“And why? Not that he can’t, but what’s the reason?”

“He’s building a wine rack for Emily after hers got ruined in her parents’ basement after the flood. But he’s giving it to her as a birthday gift, so you can’t say anything to Emily, got it?”

“My lips are sealed. Now leave! You’re going to be late!” Lucy says pushing him out of the bedroom. “Girls! Let’s go!” She calls over her shoulder.

_____________________

Stepping into the prison, the doors closed and locked behind her freezing her in her tracks. Taking in a deep breath, she walks up to the counter and flashes her badge before surrendering her gun. The gates buzzed before an officer pulled them open allowing her to go through. He leads her down the hall to the visitation room. Stepping into the room all eyes were on her. Several inmates seated at different tables waiting for their own visitors to come. She looked around the room until she saw her sister sitting at a table in the corner, her back facing Lucy. Walking over over to the table, she takes a seat across from Lauren

.“Alright everyone,” Garcia begins standing up from the table. “Our beloved liaison is currently out to tend to personal business so I will be your little birdie for this case. San Francisco is requesting our help. Police, although not released to the media, is calling our serial killer The Angel of Death. So far four people have been found buried along the riverbank. Two males, two females. All range from the ages of fifty to fifty-five.” Garcia starts to explain as she pulls up the photos of the decomposed skeletons. “Police are still digging around the riverbank for more victims is there is any more.”

“Why do they call the unsub ‘The Angel of Death’?” Emily questions. “Sam didn’t call me about this.”

“According to medical records,” JJ starts to speak as she reads through the case files. “All four victims were diagnosed with inoperable diseases. Tumors, cancer, etc.”

“So our unsub could be ending their lives before they even go naturally.” Rossi says. “If I ever get diagnosed with anything inoperable, God forbid, move me to Hawaii so it’s legal.”

“How long have they been dead?” Luke asks.

“First female, Sheila Wilks, died approximately ten months ago according to the ME. Then Alexander Knicks was two weeks after that and so on.” Garcia answers.

“We’ll continue the rest of the briefing on the jet. Garcia, you’ll be coming with us. Coop will be meeting us at their place in the city.”

“Ahh, Coop,” Rossi says chuckling. “One of the only other agents to defy Strauss.”

_________________________

Lucy stared at her sister. Lauren looked so different. Her hair was back to her natural color. Black. Just like Lucy. Her eyes bloodshot, as if she hasn’t slept since she’s been in here. She even had dark baggage under her eyes to match the bloodshot eyes. She looked thinner too. “I’ve missed you.” Lauren spoke as she stared at Lucy. “I bet you didn’t miss me though..”

“I course I did,” Lucy says. “You’re my sister.”

“But I took your daughter. I threatened her life.”

“I still forgive you.”

“I wish you didn’t.. I deserve it.”

“Yes you do. Everyone deserves forgiveness.”

“So I’m assuming you confirmed the truth, huh?” Lucy nods her head.

“I haven’t spoken to Olive since… Her doctor’s still email me with updates on her condition.. They still believe I’m her daughter.”

“How is she doing?”

“Her health is declining… She’s keeps asking about me and when I’m coming to visit. But she doesn’t talk about me as if I’m almost forty. She talks to me as if I’m the little girl she raised. They say that when she talks about me, she only talks about this one memory from when I was five…..”

// Struggling to stay on her feet while she roller skated down the sidewalk, Lucy huffs and lowers herself down to the concrete.It was an early July morning. Saturday morning to be exact. Lucy was only seven years old at the time and wanted to learn how to roller skate. She always watched her older brothers rollerblading up and down the cul-de-sac playing street hockey with their friends while she sat on the front porch dreaming of the day Olive would let her roller skate.Sitting on the sidewalk, she dropped her arms to her side as she lowered her in defeat. She unbuckled her helmet and tossed to the grass beside her. 

“Hey, what’s got you all down little sis?” Josh says as he skates over to her, his hockey stick still his hand dangling by his side.

“I can’t do it.”

“Hey, Josh! Come on bro!”

“Start without me!” Josh calls back. He turns his attention back to Lucy and bends down to be closer to her level. “Mom finally let you out on those old things?”

“She said if you and AJ could learn to skate in them, then I can too.”

“Well of course you can,” Josh says as he helps his sister stand to her feet. “It just takes practice. Don’t give up so soon.” He picks up her helmet from the grass and straps it onto her head. He tosses his stick and gloves to the yard and takes hold of her hands. “Come on, I’ll help you. We’ll start out slow so you can get the hang of it.”

After ten minutes of going up and down the street Lucy was starting to really get the hang of it. “Think you can do it on your own without me?” Josh asks.

“Uh…” Lucy looks down at her feet.

“No, no. Remember what I said.” Josh says lifting up her chin. “Keep your eyes focused in front of you. It’s like riding your bike. Always look up ahead, not down at your feet.” Lucy nods her head. “Now I’m gonna let go.” Josh says taking away only one hand at a time. Soon Lucy was on her own and heading back down the street towards their house. She skated right to the driveway and into the garage straight into her father’s lap. Olive sat in the chair next to him reading one of her books she bought from the local drugstore. //

It was one of her favorite memories of her kids. But sadly the only one she could remember of Lucy. “And Spencer? How is he?”

“Uh..well.. He’s.. Spencer..” Lucy says with a giggle.

“He didn’t want to come?”

“Uh no, the team has a case in San Francisco.”

“So why are you here? I’m sure you’d rather be there than here.”

“Honestly, this is a lot better than what they’re doing there.” Lucy says shuttering. “But how have you been? I know Julianne has been sending you letters. Have you gotten any?”

Lauren nods her head. “Yeah, she’s a very special girl. Very smart for her age too. She filled me in on Christmas. All the gifts that she, Vivien, and Isaiah got from you and Spencer as well as your team. She seemed pretty excited about the new phone.”

Lucy smiles. “Yeah, her flip didn’t last very long.” Lucy laughs. “Hopefully she’ll be more careful with this one.”

_____________________

“It was great being able to see you again.” Lauren says as they head back inside the building after an hour outside. “Don’t be a stranger.”

“It’s going to take a lot for me to come inside here.” Lucy says as they follow the guard back to Lauren’s cell. Lucy could never imagine how someone could spend their lives in this cell. Lauren’s cell wasn’t any bigger than her office back at the BAU. Just enough room for a bed, a sink, and toilet. Lauren’s toiletries sat on the back of the toilet. Her sheets were tattered with rips and holes. Her pillow was a nasty shade of yellow. It’s as if nothing’s been washed for years. On the wall beside the mirror above the sink sat a shelf with a few books and a journal. A small wooden box sat beside the books with papers sticking out. Must be where she keeps the letters from Julianne.The clanking of the guards keys snapped her out of her trance. She watched as he locked Lauren inside her cell.

“Tell Jules I said hi and that I appreciate her letters. They help me a lot while I’ve been in here.”

“I’ll be sure to tell her.” Lucy says nodding her head. She says her final goodbye before the guard leads her back to the front area of the prison. Retrieving her belongings and signing out, she makes her way out of the prison and back to her car. She sat in her car for a few minutes trying to recollect herself. Letting out a deep breath she starts to the car and leaves the prison.

Super duper excited to be back with The Liaison. Been a while.

If you enjoyed this part, please be sure to leave it some love, reblog it, and leave me your thoughts! :)

Thank you! :)

[amyscascadingtabs]

please don’t say I’m going alone

He hates the Universe because he has a single hour left of hugging a girlfriend who is now asleep by pure post-crying exhaustion, an hour left of trying to memorize every little detail about her. He hates the Universe because there's only a month left until their one year anniversary and now they won’t get to celebrate it together, because she just spent all too much time away from him undercover in prison in Texas and now they're being separated again, because her face is puffy and pink from crying and he thinks his might be as well.

Or, what went through Jake’s head before he said goodbye to Amy for Florida.

This was actually kind of a semi-prompt from @alwaysandbeyond who wondered aloud in the tags why Jake chose the selfie of Amy he has with him in Florida and prison and said that someone should write a fic about it. Truth be told I’ve always been curious about this so I… wrote the fic. Hope you like it and apologies in advance for the feels

read on ao3

Jake has two hours before the first of four cars that will take him and Holt to witness protection in Florida arrives. He spends them both at Amy’s apartment. There’s no use in packing if he’s not allowed to bring anything with him; no use in anything but hugging his girlfriend so tight he fears he is squeezing her small frame to pieces, all while telling her repeatedly he loves her and won’t forget about her. Not a great promise, considering he has the memory of a goldfish. But he remembers emotions. He remembers anything that caused a strong emotional response at the time or still does. So yes, he’ll remember the woman who has made him feel love in all its different kinds - from aching, unrequited infatuation to the effortless and tender-hearted commitment they’ve reached after almost a year. He’ll remember the fierce but quirky, competitive but lovable detective who just told him she loves him so much and wants to move in with him until he’s old and gray-haired and rotting away in a retirement home in Coral Palms. “They’ll get you out of Witsec”, Amy keeps on repeating for their first ten minutes of their two last hours together, while Jake can’t stop imagining the nightmare scenarios of never getting home again. “We’ll get you out. We’ll catch Figgis. You’ll come home. You have to come home.” He agrees with her. Both of them know nothing's for sure and maybe they really will never see each other again, but last hours are better spent pretending than accepting brutal realities. There will be plenty of time to do so in Florida, he assumes. Amy cries. Long, heaving sobs shake through her body and her tears dampen his t-shirt when she’s pressed tight against him, the two of them together on her bed for the last time in a long while. He tries not to think about how her bed would have been their bed someday soon if Figgis hadn’t called when he did. We should move in together. Haha, said the Universe. Very funny. Jake officially hates the Universe. He hates the Universe because he has a single hour left of hugging a girlfriend who is now asleep by pure post-crying exhaustion, an hour left of trying to memorize every little detail about her. He hates the Universe because there's only a month left until their one year anniversary and now they won’t get to celebrate it together, because she just spent all too much time away from him undercover in prison in Texas and now they're being separated again, because her face is puffy and pink from crying and he thinks his might be as well. He knows he won’t forget her, but he also knows he cannot possibly remember everything, because there's so much to notice about Amy Santiago he’s discovering new things every single day. Some days it’s the cutest constellation of moles at the small of her back, some days a brand new meal she can actually cook without burning the kitchen down or poisoning them both, and one day she even tells him the back-story about a tiny dot in white ink on the foot; a relic from one of the few times she got drunk at a college party and wanted to know what getting tattooed felt like. Other days he discovers how the shape of her eyebrows change marginally sometimes because she claims it’s impossible to fill them in exactly the same every day, or how the sparkling gleam in her eyes when he tells her he loves her is different from the one she gets when she’s really excited over a case, but not all too different from when she’s truly engaged in re-reading the Harry Potter novels for the umpteenth time. (Jake’s not yet sure if he should take it as an insult or a compliment to mean roughly as much to her as he’s discovered those seven books do. From the amount of Ravenclaw or Hogwarts-stamped paraphernalia he keeps finding in various places over her apartment, he’s hoping for the latter.) No photograph could capture the all-consuming focus in her expression when she watches Jeopardy or how melodious her laugh sounds when it's untamed and authentic. Her quick-witted comebacks or the adorable way she scrunches her nose when Hitchcock says something distasteful couldn’t ever be framed into a picture, no matter how skilled the photographer. He knows he’d find every single one perfect, but they still wouldn't capture enough. Maybe he should follow the orders someone gave him and abstain from bringing anything personal to Florida. On the other hand, maybe it could be helpful to have something physical there to ground him. Something to look at to know she’s real and exists somewhere out there, something to remind him she’s more than an intricate and hyper-realistic daydream, might help during all the months and maybe even years he’ll be stranded without her. It’ll have to be a photograph. A picture won’t capture any of her intelligence or humor, but there’s a chance it could capture a sliver of the ethereal beauty she is and right now a chance of a sliver is all he needs. The question is simply which one. He has a ton of pictures of her in uniform or with other members of the squad, all unusable. A picture of her at work would be too difficult to explain should someone see it. No cop pictures. There are even more dorky selfies of the two of them together, making funny faces or even trying to hold the camera up and kiss at the same time, but right now only seeing them so free and happily unknowing is an all too painful sting. And a picture of him with a girl would be even yet more suspicious if he got caught; there’d be no way for him to deny ever knowing the woman in the picture and he’d be screwed. No couple pictures. It doesn't leave him with much. For a moment he’s scared no picture on his phone lives up the necessary requirements, until he swipes far enough to reach a collection of shots he’s nearly forgotten. The pictures are from approximately two months into their relationship, back when everything was still new and a little intimidating. They’re taken in his apartment, and if he closes his eyes, he remembers the moment clear as day. ~ nine months earlier “There are so many Die Hard pictures in your camera roll. Honestly, Jake - aren’t some of these identical?” Amy’s on his couch, taking up most of the space with her head on one armrest and her feet in his lap. They’re looking through each other’s phones for some trivial reason mostly to do with boredom; it began with Jake needing help to spot spelling errors in a text, and now they’re having too much fun looking at pictures in the other person’s gallery to stop. “I don’t know that for sure and I’m not deleting any of them until I have proof!” He tickles her left foot with his free hand, the corners of his mouth twitching when it makes her giggle.  “And you have way too many pictures of laminated documents to get to tease me about Die Hard.” “I’m confident I could prove some of these are the same. And lam' jobs are important! I have a blog!” “And I follow said blog! Because I’m an awesome supportive boyfriend!” “Then where are all the pictures on your phone of me, huh? The ones you show your college buddies when you’re having a beer together and bragging about the attractiveness of whatever girl you’re hooking up with?” He can tell she’s trying to fake seriousness, but she keeps interrupting herself with fits of laughter. “Isn’t that what all white heterosexual cis men do when they meet up?” “Amy Santiago, how dare you assume I’m straight?” He’s the one laughing now, his grin growing wider from the sight of hers. “And I have plenty of pictures of you. I think. I had to delete some because I was running out of space for Die Hard stills.” “Maybe I should solve the issue. I’m deleting all the Die Hard stills I know you have doubles of and replacing them with selfies.” “Real mature, Ames.” His eyes light up when an idea hits him. “Ooohh, wait - will there be selfies of you in just a bra? Without one?” “Yeah, I’m the immature one of us two right now”, she scoffs, but the smile on her lips lets him know she’s not really mad. “And no, there won't, because I’m classy. And afraid of you leaving your phone on your desk and Charles somehow finding them.” “You know he’d just be ecstatic I had them.” “That makes it worse. Now, I need to get to work.” She sits up straight and holds out the phone a little bit in front of her so it captures part of the wall behind her as well. “This is serious business.” Jake lets the camera click once, twice, before he dives forward and into the frame. The sudden impact of his weight against her makes Amy fall to the side, and the next few shots come out blurry as he attacks her with a little sloppy but mostly playful kisses. “You’re ruining the pictures”, she whines. “Nah, I’m making them better”, he claims then and puts the camera app on timer before pressing another kiss to her lips. “Now I can show my hypothetical college buddies pictures of me kissing you, so they’ll know you’re for real.” “That would be an issue?” “Oh yeah, they would never believe I was actually dating you. You’re way too pretty.” He swipes through the collection of pictures of them kissing they’ve taken now, showing her the few of them that turned out reasonably sharp. “You’re way too pretty!” “You’re prettier.” “No, you are - oh god, we really are that horrible lovey-dovey couple everyone hated in high school, aren’t we?” Amy hides her face in her hands. “What have we even become?” “Doesn’t matter, because these pictures are hella adorable. I won’t even delete them for more Die Hard stills.” ~ He desperately wants to take one of those cheesy pictures with him to Florida. Even in the less sharp ones, it’s evident to anyone with a functioning pair of eyes how happy they are, and it makes Jake curse silently when he remembers that happiness is being taken from them now, picked up and dumped right into a coursing river of destruction by Figgis. (He should’ve just become an accountant or something equally mind-numbing because at least then he would never have to leave her.) But a picture of the two of them together is too risky and too revealing of his past, so he options for the second best thing - one of the few selfies Amy captured before he joined her. She looks considerably more serious in this picture than in the next one, her lips more a shy smirk than the wide grin she has in the pictures with him, but she looks gorgeous enough for him to want to look at it forever. More importantly, it’s a reminder the next pictures exist. It’s a fragment of a memory of better times, and it’s all he’s brave enough to bring. There’s a buzz from the Bluetooth printer on the desk in Amy’s bedroom as the picture begins to print. Her head shifts a little from where it’s resting on his chest, startled by the sudden noise, and he very nearly starts crying again, because in fifty minutes he’ll be separated from her with nothing more to keep than the selfie he already knows he’ll be staring at until he’s memorized every inch. He’s not going to forget her.

[davidchill]

This Is My Truth - The Final Blog (For Now)

After over ten years of writing a personal blog I feel that now would be a good time to wrap things up. I’m sure I’ll still write blogs from time-to-time, but they’ll be a completely different animal to this curious beast.

Social media has changed an awful lot over the years. As I scroll through my timeline this morning all I see are snappy memes, gifs, people arguing with strangers about the perils of Brexit, and sponsored posts based on my browsing habits.

Another thing that’s changed is how people engage and interact with others. Over the years I’ve seen friends who appeared to be warm and affable suddenly go stone cold and aloof, virtually overnight. Typed communication can often be misinterpreted or misconstrued, and I have, on a few occasions, tried to strike up friendships with people who I’ve genuinely liked, only for their shields to go up - and I watch them vanish at warp speed.

The truth has always been important to me - so when people lie in order to make their lives easier I find myself distancing myself from them so they don’t need to lie anymore. But I can’t judge anyone. Lying is easy. Anyone can lie. How many lies have got people out of awkward social situations without damaging the friendship? Thousands, I would imagine. The truth is much harder to swallow at times. So if you’ve found this blog to be a difficult read then that’s certainly not a bad thing.

Of course, a few “friends” haven’t stayed the course, and opted to “unfriend” or “unfollow” me on social media for posting “too many dog photos” or “too many blogs on mental health”. Well… all I can offer here is my “sperm” analogy…

“Out of the approximately 1,000 sperm that enter the fallopian tube, only about 200 reach the egg. The rest get attached to the lining of the oviduct, or just give out and die. Out of the approximately 200 sperm that reach the egg, only one fertilizes the egg.”

If you’ve stuck by me on Facebook during the most turbulent period of my life (between 2014 and the present day) then consider yourself a healthy sperm. The others might resurface in a few years when everything in my life is hunky-dory and say “Is it safe to be your friend again?” but they have no chance of reaching the egg.

In this case the “egg” is a metaphor for my “circle of trust”.

Friends don’t fall off the radar when you struggle with your mental health, and nor do they sit back and watch you struggle financially when they *could* throw you a bone. Oh, and they certainly don’t walk away when you share anecdotes about your dog.

So if you are still with me - thank you. And if you’re sitting comfortably then let’s begin...

Keeping the Faith

For much of my adult life I never had a huge amount of faith in myself. Too many crushing doubts played on my mind as to what role I had in this world - or even if I had a part to play. My creative abilities were certainly brought into question, as I lie awake at night wondering when people would wake up and give me the same amount of judgement and scrutiny that I subjected myself to on a daily basis.

Despite a very happy home life I was a prime target for the school bullies - thanks to a winning combination of ginger hair and small, round head - so it’s hardly surprising that I entered adulthood with several insecurities and a huge chip on my shoulder. Children can be cruel and wretched creatures at times. Snotty-nosed brats.

Throughout college I drew comic strips at every available opportunity and was always genuinely flabbergasted when my peers told me how talented and gifted I was - and how much they loved my sense of humour. Well, my written word - as I was practically mute in those days. “You’d be funny if you spoke!” commented one guy.

While most of the students gallivanted off to university I chose not to pursue further education and opted to get a “real” job in order to feed my comic book addiction. So for the next six or seven years I took on a variety of roles… packing plastic, kennel hand, factory worker.

I’m not sure what my parents thought of me coming home covered in dog poo and toner dust - but my duties were the perfect cover for an artistic creative soul who had zero faith in his abilities. I couldn’t fail.

Unfortunately my cover was blown in 1998 when my line manager insisted on promoting me to “champion operator” - a job that involved assembly work, but also gave me the opportunity to walk around with a bit of paper and use the new fangled “e-mail” system that was becoming popular in the workplace. “What is this wizardry?” I asked myself, as I bluffed my way through the job.

It was during this time that I was asked to give a PowerPoint presentation to an office full of co-workers and the type of senior management you’d cross the street to avoid if you saw them out shopping on a Saturday morning. When the CEO gave his feedback on the presentations he threw the spotlight on me and said; “David, I thought you were excellent.”

Swine. “I’m a fraud I tell you!” (I didn’t actually say that out loud)

Thankfully, just before my head expanded to dangerous levels of self belief I was made redundant from the position. This was no reflection on me - the whole company went under. Nothing to do with my “excellent” presentation skills or the time I spent walking around with a bit of paper.

The following year I was inflicted with a condition called spasmodic torticollis and forced to take three months off work. In English; I suffered with a severe muscle spasm in my neck. As a result, my chin was permanently touching my shoulder and only lying down made me feel “normal”. We didn’t have box sets to lift the mood in those days, so it was an extremely dark chapter in my life. I was pumped full of valium, I couldn’t drive or walk the dog, and my mother had to chop my food up for me.

Eventually, after a series of tests, the consultant told me I’d have to have injections in my neck - but this wouldn’t guarantee success. Truth be told I became very low and depressed - but, with the support of my friends and family, I got through each day. One of my church friends even picked me up, took me to church, and prayed for me. This wasn’t like my “last rites” or anything, I hasten to add.

One day, as I walked into town, all hunched up and averting eye contact - something very peculiar happened. My head wasn’t tilting to one side anymore and I found myself walking in a STRAIGHT line. “What is this hogwashery?!” I thought to myself. “I’m walking with my head in an upright position!”

The specialist who mooted the idea of injections then examined me, scratched his head, and concluded that I was some kind of weird “enigma”. Yes, it took three months of pain, frustration and fear to reach the conclusion that I was a bit odd. Blimey, I didn’t need to go through all that to work that one out.

The Slippery Slope

Several years later, and after being made redundant three times between 1998 and 2003, I was beginning to think I was cursed.

In 2006 I quit full-time employment and went down the “self-employed” route - mostly focusing on wedding websites for the subsequent eight years. On reflection that was far too long to spend on one endeavour, and a few close friends urged me to expand my portfolio. Again, I felt “safe” doing wedding websites, the money was coming in, and I didn’t want to run the risk of straying too far. However, I should have taken the advice given to Peter Davison when Patrick Troughton advised him to only play the Doctor for three years. Eight years is a very long time in the world of technological advances, and I became the Ken Barlow of wedding websites.

Looking back, it’s not surprising the work had a detrimental impact on my mental health. I poured my heart and soul into those blasted websites, and sometimes sat up until 3am to please my transatlantic Bridezillas. Sometimes Groomzillas. No, I didn’t *have* to, but when I take on a role I like to give it my all.

Unfortunately because my “office” was then based in my bedroom I could never “switch off” and those sites consumed me to a point where my anxiety and depression deepened. The line between business and pleasure just became far too blurred and it became a seven day week thing.

After all the stress of moving into my maisonette (and then buying the maisonette) I still found the websites to be an extremely negative factor in my mental health. Things got on top of me and I’d begin to procrastinate… put off tasks, until, eventually, I hit my brick wall. My dark place.

Enter Luna, the Staffordshire Bull Terrier X Akita, who took a lot of stick for being the author of my demise. No, she was merely the straw that broke the camels back.

Before I knew it, I lost my regular income after being told that my services were no longer required. Sadly, despite being told that my salary would be safe until January 2014, it was then slashed by £500 for two months on the trot. November and December, respectively.

Suddenly, I had this huge financial hole to fill… and a mortgage to pay. When you lose £1000 without sufficient forewarning then what do you do? No money from extra part-time work would have reached me in time - even if my mind had been “fit” to work. The anxiety just consumed me, and the mind starts imagining these highly unlikely scenarios… My neck condition might flare up again… I might lose the dog… I might lose my home.

Okay, that last one actually happened.

People often tell me that debt is a slippery slope that should be avoided at all costs. People who’ve never experienced debt to the extent that I did. My friends, I’ve taken to that slope. I’m the Eddie “the Eagle” Edwards of the slippery slope.

So yes, I know that debt begins very slowly... and it gradually creeps up on you… the £5 penalty charge on your emergency borrowing becomes £10, £15, £20… and then you’re late with the gas and electric bill… and then BOOM! You’ve lost your home and overzealous cleaners are pulling things off your wall as you struggle to pack everything into boxes.

I lost more that day than I can ever put into words, and I’ve hated myself for it ever since.

Yes, people made my life more difficult than it needed to be, and some people could have helped more - rather than just telling me it’d all be okay. But I lost everything because I lost faith in myself.

There’s No Guarantors

Today, eighteen months after losing my home, I’m sat here writing a business plan - and I find myself in this role reversal. Almost like a weird mirror universe from Star Trek. Suddenly, for perhaps the first time in my life, I have faith in myself - but others are doubting my judgement, or have very little faith in my abilities.

Whenever I hear that someone has been awarded a business loan I punch the air [on their behalf]. Even if it’s someone on Twitter who I don’t know very well - I always make a point of congratulating them and wishing them well in their new endeavour. Or endeavor if they’re American.

With me, I expect a few would question if I knew what I was doing.

Not that I was awarded a business loan, but I came very close. Honestly, my heart sank when Eugene (the guy from the bank) uttered the words “We just need your guarantor…”

Guarantor? Me? Find a guarantor? He might as well have asked me to find the hair of a Sasquatch, a stool sample of a dodo, and the DNA of William the Conqueror.

“Hey, dear,” says a friend, turning to his partner. “David C. Hill is looking for a guarantor for his business loan. You in?” “The same David C. Hill with the anxiety issues?” “Yep.” “The same David C. Hill who had 5,000 comic books printed without testing the market?” “Yep.” “The same David C. Hill who lost his home after falling into a horrifying amount of debt?” “Yes, dear. You in?”

Yes, I had to ask… but of course I can’t blame anyone for not rising to the challenge.

My new bank friend, Eugene, then followed up with a phone call to assure me that the £10,000 funding would be granted if I could give him a name. So I looked at Luna, and for that brief moment her eyes just said “Don’t look at me!”

The “Homer Simpson” in me thought about seeing how far I could go with this guarantor lark. “John. My guarantor’s name is John. John Smith. His address? 12… Evergreen Terrace.”

Sadly, it’s going to be almost impossible for me to come back from that defeat of losing my home. That sort of thing sticks. It’s like I have “not good with money” or “dog who returns to his vomit” scrawled on my forehead. It’s akin to someone on a dodgy register trying to acquire a job as a school caretaker.

No, to paraphrase Tiffany, the pop goddess of 1987… “I think I’m alone now.”

People will argue that if my business plan was that convincing then I wouldn’t need a guarantor. However, these days banks are far more guarded when it comes to funding businesses. I don’t have any assets therefore I need someone with assets to have my back. My 27” iMac won’t cut the mustard as an asset.

Anyway, I’m sure most people can find a guarantor with relative ease. If a guarantor was such a ridiculous concept then requiring a guarantor wouldn’t even be a thing. According to the website, 98% of businesses are successfully funded. So I guess that places me in the 2% camp.

It’s been a week of bad news, and it would be so easy for me to slip into a depression and consume my body weight in wine gums. My car payment has just bounced and I have more rent due in ten days, and now I’m telling people that without funding my business can’t move forward.

I know the rich frown upon those who have to take out loans, and in the last few years I’ve seen the rich grow considerably richer. But I don’t think some people realise how rich they are, and how, if they need something, they can just go out and buy it - or ask their rich family to chip in. Of course most people have worked very hard for their wealth - but the majority of people do work very hard. I know at least two nurses who work for the NHS and they work exceptionally gruelling shifts. So one should never judge the rich - or the poor.

Yes, some people do inherit wealth or marry into rich families, so not all the rich work hard - and not everyone who’s poor works hard either. Sometimes ill-health doesn’t permit you to work long hours - and yes, lazy work shy fops do exist.

If I have to calumniate £5,000 or £10,000 worth of debt in order to make £20k then I’ll do it. All businesses need funding and we don’t all have savings to inject into our cashflow. People who don’t have debt a get bit sniffy about it, but there’s no shame in having manageable debt - and sometimes it’s a necessary evil.

Final Words

There’s always a way forward. Sometimes its not about working harder - it’s about working smarter. And I have enough faith in myself to know that I can work smarter. I’ll find a way forward, even if I do have to accrue debt - even if I have to march into hell for a heavenly cause. People will call me batcrap crazy, and people will cast doubt on me, but that’s to be expected. Life is very short, memories are very precious, and sometimes those of us who want to achieve our goals need to take calculated risks.

My greatest fear is losing faith in myself - because that will be the day that I die. But that’s never going to happen. I mean losing faith in myself - I fully except to die one day! I’m not Connor MacLeod, Mister Immortal, or Captain Jack Harkness.

Thank you to those who have helped me over the last few years - and those who continue to support my work. Make no mistake, when I’m rich I’m not going to live in a huge castle, pull up the drawbridge and yell “Let them eat cake!”. I’m going to live in a modest dwelling and help those who have helped me in the past.

That’s my guarantee.

[ellacrossman96]

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Jesus was the master at using parables that related to the lives of people. Many of his parables reflected things that he had no doubt seen while he had up in Galilee. Ponder for a moment about his early life as a child and a teen. How many times did he see the common practice of his mother preparing leavened bread where she took a piece of fermented dough saved from a prior baking and using it as a leavening agent? (Matthew 13:33) How many hundreds of times did he watch as the fishermen let their nets down into the clear blue waters of the Sea of Galilee? (Matthew 13:47) How many times had he been playing or watching other children playing in the marketplace? (Matthew 11:16) Jesus saw an experienced many commonplace things of ancient life that made their way into his parables, such as the sowing of seeds, the marriage feasts, as well as the grain fields ripening in the sun.—Matthew 13:3-8; 25:1-12; Mark 4:26-29.

Therefore, we are hardly surprised to find the everyday life circumstances and situations of Jesus Christ sprinkled throughout Jesus’ many parables. Hence, if we are going to appreciate more fully his skill in using this teaching method, it will be necessary to examine what his words meant to the Jewish people who listened to him. Let us take a moment to consider two examples.

The Parable of the Weeds Among the Wheat

Matthew 13:1, 2, 24-30 Updated American Standard Version (UASV)

13 On that day Jesus left the house and was sitting by the sea. 2 And such large crowds gathered to him that he went aboard a boat and sat down, and all the crowd was standing on the beach. 24 Another parable he set before them, saying: “The kingdom of the heavens was likened to[155] a man who sowed fine seed in his field. 25 But while his men were sleeping, his enemy came and sowed darnel[156] among the wheat, and went away. 26 But when the wheat[157] sprouted and bore grain, then the darnel became evident also. 27 So the slaves of the master of the house came and said to him, ‘Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? From where[158] then does it have darnel?’ 28 And he said to them, ‘An enemy has done this!’ So the slaves said to him, ‘Then do you want us to go and gather them?’ 29 But he said, ‘No, for fear that while gathering the darnel, you uproot the wheat with them 30 Let both grow together until the harvest, and in the harvest season, I will tell the reapers: First collect the darnel and bind them in bundles to burn them up; then gather the wheat into my storehouse.’”

We begin with The Parable of the Weeds Among the Wheat in the above text. We find Jesus telling us about “a man who sowed fine seed in his field. But while his men were sleeping, his enemy came and sowed darnel [weeds] among the wheat, and went away.” Why did Jesus choose this distinct hostile act? Well, we must remember that this parable was told to the people near the Sea of Galilee, and the main occupation of the Galileans was obviously agriculture. There is scarcely anything more harmful to a farmer than to have an enemy come in the night and secretly oversow harmful weeds into his field! If we look at the laws of the government at that time, we find that such attacks happened. So, here again, we find a parable being drawn from a real-life situation that his listeners would be able to understand and appreciate the nuances that would make Jesus’ point more clear.

Luke 10:30-37 Update American standard Version (UASV)

30 Jesus replied and said, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and laid blows upon and departed, leaving him half dead. 31 Now by coincidence a certain priest was going down on that road, and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. 32 Likewise a Levite also, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, who was on a journey, came upon him; and when he saw him, he felt compassion, 34 and came to him and bandaged up his wounds, pouring oil and wine on them; and he put him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 And on the next day, he took out two denarii[1] and gave them to the innkeeper, and said, “Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I return I will repay you.’ 36 Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” 37 And he said, “The one who showed mercy toward him.” Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.”

Next, we have the Parable of the Good Samaritan. Jesus began by saying: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and laid blows upon and departed, leaving him half dead.” (Luke 10:30) It is meaningful that Jesus used the road that went “from Jerusalem to Jericho,” which contained the right details to make his point. When he was telling this parable he was in Judea, not far from Jerusalem. There, it is very like that his listeners were familiar with this seventeen-mile road in his parable. That road was “a dangerous place, and robbers often lay in wait for unprotected travelers.”[2] This was especially true of anyone traveling alone. It twisted through lonely terrain, providing many places for robbers to lay in wait.

We have something else unique about Jesus’ reference to the road that went “down from Jerusalem to Jericho.” First, the account is historically accurate by using the description of going “down.” “This is a stark and desolate seventeen-mile road, dropping from over 2,500 feet above sea level in Jerusalem to approximately 800 feet below sea level at Jericho. (Josephus, J.W. 4.8.3 §474.)[3]   According to the account, first it was a priest and then it was a Levite who was also traveling that road, although neither of them stopped to help the victim. (Luke 10:31-32) The priests served at the temple in Jerusalem, and they were assisted by the Levites. When they were not working at the temple, many priests and Levites lived in Jericho, for Jericho was only 17 miles [27.4 km] from Jerusalem. Therefore, we see that they undoubtedly had many opportunities to travel that road. An important insight is that Jesus chose to tell the account from the perspective that the priest and the Levite were going along the road “from Jerusalem to Jericho,” not ‘from Jericho to Jerusalem.’ In other words, the priest and the Levite were going home (having time to stop and render aid and something more), not going to serve in the temple. You see, Jesus knew that, if the priest and the Levite were going to the Temple, people could argue that they thought the man was dead and they would have been unclean by touching a dead body, making them temporarily unfit to serve in the temple. (Leviticus 21:1; Numbers 19:11, 16) Again, Jesus’ parables reflected things that were well-known to his listeners?

[1] Denarius: (dēnarion; Roman, silver) The denarius was equivalent to a day’s wages for a common laborer (12 hours). It was sixty-four quadrantes. It had an image of Caesar on one side. It was the “head tax” coin demanded by the Roman government from their subjects.–Matt. 20:2, 9; Mark 14:5; Lu 10:35; 20:24; John 6:7; Rev. 6:6.

[2] Clinton E. Arnold, Zondervan Illustrated Bible Backgrounds Commentary: Matthew, Mark, Luke, vol. 1 (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2002), 415.

[3] Clinton E. Arnold, Zondervan Illustrated Bible Backgrounds Commentary: Matthew, Mark, Luke, vol. 1 (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2002), 415.

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John 3:16 is one of the most widely quoted verses from the Christian Bible. It has also been called the “Gospel in a nutshell,” because it is considered a summary of the central theme of traditional Christianity. Martin Luther called John 3:16 “The heart of the Bible, the Gospel in …

THE BOOK OF JAMES (CPH New Testament Commentary 17)

…about God and his personal revelation, allowing it to change our lives by drawing closer to God. The Book of James volume is written in a style that is easy to understand. The Bible can be difficult and complex at times. Our effort herein is to make it easier to read and understand, while …

THE OUTSIDER Coming-of-Age In This Moment

THE OUTSIDER is a Coming-of-Age book. SECTION 1 Surviving Sexual Desires and Love will cover such subjects as What Is Wrong with Flirting, The Pornography Deception, Peer Pressure to Have Sexual Relations, Coping With Constant Sexual Thoughts, Fully Understanding Sexting, Is Oral Sex …

THIRTEEN REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD KEEP LIVING: When Hope and Love Vanish

Who should read THIRTEEN REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD KEEP LIVING? Anyone who is struggling with their walk as a young person. Anyone who has a friend who is having difficulty handling or coping with their young life, so you can offer them the help they need. Any parent who has young ones. And …

WAGING WAR: A Christian’s Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Workbook

…Waging War is a guide to start the youth with the most basic information and work pages to the culmination of all of the facts, scripture, and their newly gained insight to offer a more clear picture of where they are and how to change their lives for the better. Every chapter will have …

THE POWERFUL WEAPON OF PRAYER: A Healthy Prayer Life

DOZENS OF QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED: Why is prayer necessary? What must we do to be heard by God? How does God answer our prayers? Does God listen to all prayers? Does God hear everyone’s prayers? What may we pray about? Does the Father truly grant everything we ask for? What kind …

HUMAN IMPERFECTION: While We Were Sinners Christ Died For Us

There are many reasons the Christian view of humanity is very important. The Christian view of humanity believes that humans were created in the image of God. We will look at the biblical view of humanity. We are going to look at the nature of man, the freedom of man, the personality of …

FOR AS I THINK IN MY HEART SO I AM: Combining Biblical Counseling with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy [Second Edition] 

In FOR AS I THINK IN MY HEART – SO I A M, Edward D. Andrews offers practical and biblical insights on a host of Christian spiritual growth struggles, from the challenge of forgiveness to eating disorders, anger, alcoholism, depression, anxiety, pornography, masturbation, same-sex …

APPLYING GOD’S WORD MORE FULLY: The Secret of a Successful Christian Life [Second Edition]

There is a genuine happiness, contentment, and joy, which come from reading, studying and applying God’s Word. This is true because the Scriptures offer us guidance and direction that aids us in living a life that coincides with our existence as a creation of Almighty God. For example, we …

PUT OFF THE OLD PERSON: Put On the New Person [Second Edition]

THERE IS ONE MAJOR DIFFERENCE between Christian living books by Andrews and those by others. Generally speaking, his books are filled with Scripture and offer its readers what the Bible authors meant by what they penned. In this publication, it is really God’s Word offering the counsel, …

WALK HUMBLY WITH YOUR GOD: Putting God’s Purpose First in Your Life [Second Edition]

A clean conscience brings us inner peace, calmness, and a profound joy that is seldom found in this world under the imperfection of fallen flesh that is catered to by Satan, the god of the world. Many who were formerly living in sin and have now turned their life over to God, they now know this amazing relief and are able today to hold a good and clean conscience as they carry out the will of the Father. WALK HUMBLY WITH YOUR GOD, has been written to help its readers to find that same joy, to have and maintain a good, clean conscience in their lives. Of course, it is incapable of covering every detail that one would need to consider and apply in their lives …

WIVES BE SUBJECT TO YOUR HUSBANDS How Should Wives Treat Their Husbands?

This book is primarily for WIVES, but wives will greatly benefit from it as well. WIVES will learn to use God’s Word to construct a solid and happy marriage. The Creator of the family gives the very best advice. Many have been so eager to read this new publication: WIVES BE SUBJECT TO …

HUSBANDS LOVE YOUR WIVES: How Should Husbands Treat Their Wives?

This book is primarily for HUSBANDS, but wives will greatly benefit from it as well. HUSBANDS will learn to use God’s Word to construct a solid and happy marriage. The Creator of the family gives the very best advice. Many have been so eager to read this new publication: HUSBANDS LOVE …

Christian Apologetics

DEFENDING OLD TESTAMENT AUTHORSHIP: The Word of God Is Authentic and True

How true is the Old Testament? For over two centuries Biblical scholars have held to the so-called documentary hypothesis, namely, that Genesis-Deuteronomy was not authored by Moses, but rather by several writers, some of whom lived centuries after Moses’ time. How have many scholars …

DEFENDING AGABUS AS A NEW TESTAMENT PROPHET: A Content-Based Study of His Predictions In Acts by Sung Cho

Agabus is a mysterious prophetic figure that appears only twice in the book of Acts. Though his role is minor, he is a significant figure in a great debate between cessationists and continualists. On one side are those who believe that the gift of prophecy is on par with the inspired Scriptures, infallible, and has ceased. On the other side are those who define it as fallible and non-revelatory speech that continues today in the life of the church. Proponents of both camps attempt to claim …

WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF YOU DIE?: Should You Be Afraid of Death or of People Who Have Died?

People grow old, get sick, and die. Even some children die. Should you be afraid of death or of anybody who has died? Do you know what happens if we die? Will you ever see your dead loved ones again? “If a man dies, shall he live again?” asked the man Job long ago. (Job 14:14) Did God originally intend for humans to die? Why do you grow old and die? What is the Bible’s viewpoint of death? What is the condition of the dead? Are the dead aware of what is happening around them? What hope is there for the dead?

UNDERSTANDING ISLAM AND TERRORISM: A Biblical Point of View

Islam is making a significant mark in our world. It is perhaps the fastest-growing religion in the world. It has become a major obstacle to Christian missions. And Muslim terrorists threaten the West and modern democracies. What is the history of Islam? What do Muslims believe? Do Christians and Muslims worship the same God? Why do we have this clash of civilizations? Is sharia law a threat to modern democratic values? How can we fight terrorists in the 21st century? These are significant questions that deserve thoughtful answers …

IS THE QURAN THE WORD OF GOD?: Is Islam the One True Faith?

…IS THE QURAN THE WORD OF GOD? Is Islam the One True Faith? This book covers the worldview, practices, and history of Islam and the Quran. This book is designed as an apologetic evangelistic tool for Christians, as they come across Muslims in their daily lives, as well as to inform …

REASONS FOR FAITH: The First Apologetic Guide For Christian Women on Matters of The Heart, Soul, and Mind

If you have the desire to become better equipped to reach others for the lost or to strengthen your faith, Judy Salisbury’s guide—written specifically to meet the needs of Christian women today—offers you a safe, practical, and approachable place to start. In her lively, …

BIBLICAL CRITICISM: What are Some Outstanding Weaknesses of Modern Historical Criticism

Historical Criticism of the Bible got started in earnest, known then as Higher Criticism, during the 18th and 19th centuries, it is also known as the Historical-Critical Method of biblical interpretation. Are there any weakness to the Historical-Critical Method of biblical interpretation …

BIBLICAL CRITICISM: Beyond the Basics

Biblical criticism is an umbrella term covering various techniques for applying literary historical-critical methods in analyzing and studying the Bible and its textual content. Biblical criticism is also known as higher criticism, literary criticism, and historical criticism. Biblical …

CHRISTIAN APOLOGETIC EVANGELISM: Reaching Hearts with the Art of Persuasion

APOLOGETICS: Reaching Hearts with the Art of Persuasion by Edward D. Andrews, author of seventy-two books, covers information that proves that the Bible is accurate, trustworthy, fully inerrant, and inspired by God for the benefit of humankind. The reader will be introduced to Christan …

REVIEWING 2013 New World Translation of Jehovah’s Witnesses: Examining the History of the Watchtower Translation and the Latest Revision

REVIEWING 2013 New World Translation of Jehovah’s Witnesses is going to challenge your objectivity. Being objective means that personal feelings or opinions do not influence you in considering and representing facts. Being subjective means that your understanding is based on or influenced by personal feelings, tastes, or ideas. If the reader finds these insights offense, it might be a little mind control at work from years of being told the same misinformation repeatedly, so ponder things objectively …

REASONING FROM THE SCRIPTURES: Sharing CHRIST as You Help Others to Learn about the Mighty works of God

Use of REASONING FROM THE SCRIPTURES should help you to cultivate the ability to reason from the Scriptures and to use them effectively in assisting others to learn about “the mighty works of God.” – Acts 2:11. If Christians are going to be capable, powerful, efficient teachers of God’s Word, we must not only pay attention to what we tell those who are interested but also how we tell them. Yes, we must focus our attention on…

REASONING WITH THE WORLD’S VARIOUS RELIGIONS: Examining and Evangelizing Other Faiths

God’s will is that “all sorts of men should be saved and come to an accurate knowledge of truth.” (1 Tim. 2:4) God has assigned all Christians the task of proclaiming the Word of God, teaching, to make disciples. (Matt. 24:15; 28:19-20: Ac 1;8 That includes men and women who profess a non-Christian religion, such as Hinduism, Buddhism, and Islam to mention just a few. If there are Hindus, Buddhist or Muslims are in your community, why not initiate a conversation with them? Christians who take the Great Commission seriously cannot afford to ignore these religions…

CONVERSATIONAL EVANGELISM, [Second Edition]

Evangelism is the work of a Christian evangelist, of which all true Christians are obligated to partake to some extent, which seeks to persuade other people to become Christian, especially by sharing the basics of the Gospel, but also the deeper message of biblical truths. Today the …

THE CHRISTIAN APOLOGIST: Always Being Prepared to Make a Defense [Second Edition]

MOST Christian apologetic books help the reader know WHAT to say; THE CHRISTIAN APOLOGIST is HOW to communicate it effectively. The Christian apologist words should always be seasoned with salt as we share the unadulterated truths of Scripture with gentleness and respect. Our example …

THE EVANGELISM HANDBOOK: How All Christians Can Effectively Share God’s Word in Their Community, [SECOND EDITION]

…THE EVANGELISM HANDBOOK is a practical guide (for real-life application) in aiding all Christians in sharing biblical beliefs, the Good News of the kingdom, how to deal with Bible critics, overturning false beliefs, so as to make disciples, as commanded by Christ. Matthew 24:14; …

YOUR GUIDE FOR DEFENDING THE BIBLE: Self-Education of the Bible Made Easy [Third Edition]

The reader will receive eight small introductory books in this one publication. Andrews’ intention is to offer his reader several chapters on eight of the most critical subject areas of understanding and defending the Word of God. This will enable the reader to lay a solid foundation for …

THE CULTURE WAR: How the West Lost Its Greatness & Was Weakened From Within 

…The Culture War. How the West lost its greatness and was weakened from within outlines how the West lost its values, causing its current decline. It is a forceful attack on the extreme liberal, anti-religious ideology which since the1960’s has permeated the Western culture and …

EARLY CHRISTIANITY IN THE FIRST CENTURY Jesus’ Witnesses to the Ends of the Earth

EARLY CHRISTIANITY IN THE FIRST CENTURY will give its readers a thrilling account of first-century Christianity. When and how did they come to be called Christians? Who are all obligated to be Christian evangelists? In what way did Jesus set the example for our evangelism? What is the …

CRISIS OF FAITH Saving Those Who Doubt 

Inside of some Christians unbeknownst to their family, friends or congregation, they are screaming, “I doubt, I doubt, I have very grave doubts!” OURS is an age of doubt. Skepticism has become fashionable. We are urged to question everything: especially the existence of God and the …

INVESTIGATING JEHOVAH?S WITNESSES: Why 1914 Is Important to Jehovah?s Witnesses

The intention of this book is to investigate the biblical chronology behind Jehovah’s Witnesses most controversial doctrinal position that Jesus began to rule invisibly from heaven in October 1914. This biblical chronology of the Witnesses hinges upon their belief that the destruction of …

Translation and Textual Criticism

THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO BIBLE TRANSLATION: Bible Translation Choices and Translation Principles [Second Edition] 

…THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO BIBLE TRANSLATION (CGBT) is for all individuals interested in how the Bible came down to us, as well as having an insight into the Bible translation process. CGBT is also for those who are interested in which translation(s) would be the most beneficial to use.

CHOOSING YOUR BIBLE: Bible Translation Differences

There are more than 150 different Bible translations in the English language alone. Some are what we call literal translations, which seeks to give the reader the exact English equivalent of what was written in the original language text, thus allowing the reader access to the actual Word …

THE TEXT OF THE NEW TESTAMENT: The Science and Art of Textual Criticism

…THE TEXT OF THE NEW TESTAMENT was copied and recopied by hand for 1,500 years. Regardless of those scribes who had worked very hard to be faithful in their copying, errors crept into the text. How can we be confident that what we have today is the Word of God? Wilkins and Andrews …

MISREPRESENTING JESUS: Debunking Bart D. Ehrman’s “Misquoting Jesus” [Third Edition]

Edward D. Andrews boldly answers the challenges Bart D. Ehrman alleges against the fully inerrant, Spirit-inspired, authoritative Word of God. By glimpsing into the life of Bart D. Ehrman and following along his course of academic studies, Andrews helps the reader to understand the …

Biblical Studies

HOW TO STUDY YOUR BIBLE: Rightly Handling the Word of God

A comprehensive book on HOW TO STUDY YOUR BIBLE by observing, interpreting, and applying, which will focus on the most basic Bible study tools, principles, and processes for moving from an in-depth reading of the Scriptures to application. What, though, if you have long felt that you are …

THE NEW TESTAMENT: Its Background, Setting & Content

…the author’s intended meaning to his original readers and how that meaning can then apply to us. Marshall gives you what you need for deeper and richer Bible study. Dr. Lee M. Fields writes, “‘Deep’ study is no guarantee that mature faith will result, but shallow study guarantees …

THE LIFE OF JESUS CHRIST: What Do You Know About Jesus? [Updated and Expanded] 

The life of Christ is an exhaustless theme. It reveals a character of greater massiveness than the hills, of a more serene beauty than the stars, of sweeter fragrance than the flowers, higher than the heavens in sublimity and deeper than the seas in mystery. As good Jean Paul has …

THE LIFE OF THE APOSTLE PAUL: The Apostle to the Nations [Updated and Expanded] 

Stalker’s Life of St. Paul became one of the most widely read and respected biographies of the Apostle to the Gentiles. As an insightful compendium on the life of Paul, this work is of particular interest to pastors and teachers who desire to add realism and vividness to their account of …

INTERPRETING THE BIBLE: Introduction to Biblical Hermeneutics

Delving into the basics of biblical interpretation, Edward D. Andrews has provided a complete hands-on guide to understanding what the author meant by the words that he used from the conservative grammatical-historical perspective. He teaches how to study the Bible on a deep, scholarly …

HOW TO INTERPRET THE BIBLE: An Introduction to Hermeneutics

…Linguistic and literary factors are analyzed so that the various genres of Scripture are examined for their true meaning. The importance of having sound principles of interpretation cannot be overstated as to ignore them will result in all manner of erroneous assumptions. Beville presents …

THE CHURCH COMMUNITY IN CONTEMPORARY CULTURE: Evangelism and Engagement with Postmodern People

Once upon a time, Postmodernism was a buzz word. It pronounced Modernism dead or at least in the throes of death. It was a wave that swept over Christendom, promising to wash away sterile, dogmatic and outmoded forms of church. But whatever happened to postmodernism? It was regarded …

DEVELOPING HEALTHY CHURCHES: A Case-Study in Revelation

…church. It offers an appointment with the Great Physician that no Christian can afford to ignore. Developing Healthy Churches: A Case-Study in Revelationbegins with a well-researched outline of the origins and development of the church health movement. With that background in mind the …

DYING TO KILL: A Christian Perspective on Euthanasia and Assisted Suicide

…liberties in a multi-cultural society that is becoming increasingly secular. This work provides an ethical framework in which euthanasia and assisted suicide can be evaluated. These issues are on the radar indicating a collision course with Christian values. It is time for Christians to be …

JOURNEY WITH JESUS THROUGH THE MESSAGE OF MARK

…Journey with Jesus through the Message of Mark is an insightful and engaging survey of Mark‘s Gospel, exploring each major section of the text along with key themes. It is a work that can be enjoyed by laypersons as well as pastors and teachers. Pastors will find the abundant use …

ANGELS & DEMONS The Bible Answers

What are angels & demons? Can angels help us? What does the Bible say about angels? What is the truth about angels? Can Angels affect your life? Who were the “sons of God” in Genesis 6:2? Who were the Nephilim in Genesis 6:2? Who is Michael the archangel? Can Satan the Devil control …

Bible Doctrines

WHERE ARE THE DEAD? Basic Bible Doctrines of the Christian Faith

What is the Bible’s viewpoint? Without delving into an endless stream of what man has said, Andrews looks at what the Bible says about death and the like. Why do we grow old and die? What happens at death? Is there life after death, or is this all there is? Do we have an immortal soul? …

IDENTIFYING THE ANTICHRIST: The Man of Lawlessness and the Mark of the Beast Revealed

Herein Andrews will give the reader exactly what the Bible offers on exposing who the Antichrist and the Man of Lawlessness are. If we look at the texts that refer to the antichrist and the man of lawlessness, we will have lines of evidence that will enable us to identify them. Why is it …

UNDERSTANDING THE CREATION ACCOUNT: Basic Bible Doctrines of the Christian Faith

Throughout the Scriptures, God is identified as the Creator. He is the One “who created the heavens (He is the God who formed the earth and made it, He established it.” [Isa 45:18] He is the One “who forms mountains and creates the wind” (Am 4:13) and is the One “who made the heaven and …

The SECOND COMING of CHRIST: Basic Bible Doctrines of the Christian Faith

The information herein is based on the disciples coming to Jesus privately, saying, “Tell us, (1) when will these things be, and (2) what will be the sign of your coming, and (3) of the end of the age?” (Matthew 24:3) What will end? When will the end come? What comes after the end? Who …

WHAT IS HELL? Basic Bible Doctrines of the Christian Faith

What Really Is Hell? What Kind of Place is Hell? What Really Happens at Death? What Did Jesus Teach About Hell? How Does Learning the Truth About Hell Affect You? Who Goes to Hell? What Is Hell? Is It a Place of Eternal Torment? Does God Punish People in Hellfire? Do the Wicked Suffer in …

MIRACLES – DO THEY STILL HAPPEN TODAY? God Miraculously Saving People’s Lives, Apparitions, Speaking In Tongues, Faith Healing 

Miracles were certainly a part of certain periods in Bible times. What about today? Are miracles still taking place. There are some very important subjects that surround this area of discussion that are often misunderstood. Andrews will answer such questions as does God step in and solve …

HOMOSEXUALITY – The BIBLE and the CHRISTIAN: Basic Bible Doctrines of the Christian Faith

Today there are many questions about homosexuality as it relates to the Bible and Christians. What does the Bible say about homosexuality? Does genetics, environment, or traumatic life experiences justify homosexuality? What is God’s will for people with same-sex attractions? Does the …

Christian Fiction

THE DIARY OF JUDAS ISCARIOT: How to Keep Jesus at Arm’s Length

…desert but none of such significance as a handful of scrolls retrieved from a buried Roman satchel (presumed stolen) at this site. The discovery has since come to be known as ‘The Diary of Judas Iscariot.’ In The Diary of JudasIscariot Owen Batstone relates the observations and feelings …

THE SECRET HIDEAWAY ON BRIDGETON HILL

Rachael Garrison knows all the shrewd ways to successfully close multi-million-dollar real estate deals with her father’s famous New York real estate enterprise. But beyond her savvy to rake in huge deals is her premonition that an impending global takeover of the world’s financial wealth is on the horizon by evil leaders of The Great Ten Nations. From New York City to the Irish Hills of Michigan, and into the streets of Detroit her life takes on enormous purpose as

THE RAPTURE: God’s Unwelcomed Wrath

Kevin Trill struggles with the notion that he may have missed the Rapture. With nothing but the clothes on his back and a solid gold pocket watch, he sets off towards Garbor, a safe haven for those who haven’t yet taken the mark of thebeast. While on his way to Garbor, he meets up …

SEEKERS AND DECEIVERS: Which One are You? It Is Time to Join the Fight!

There grew an element in the valley that did not want to be ruled by the Light of the Word. Over time, they convinced the people to reject it. As they started to reject this Light, the valley grew dim and the fog rolled in. The people craved the darkness rather than the Light because they were evil. They did not want to  …

The Shadow Flames of Uluru: Book ONE in the CHAOS DOWN UNDER 

When an ancestor saddles them with the responsibility to purge Australia of a demon threatening to wipe our humanity with black flames, fraternal siblings Amber and Michael Hauksby lay their lives on the line. As the world crumbles around them into chaos, and ancient marsupials wreak havoc in their hometown, they must journey into …

WRITE PLACE, RIGHT TIME: The Pre-Apocalyptic Misadventure of a Freelance Journalist 

“Write Place, Right Time” follows the pre-apocalyptic misadventures of freelance journalist Don Lamplighter. While on what he expects to be a routine Monday night trip to a village board meeting, Lamplighter’s good nature compels him to help a stranded vehicle. Little does he know that by saving one of the car’s occupants, he sets forth a chain of what to him seem to be unrelated events where he must use his physical and social skills to save himself and others from precarious situations.

THE GREAT TEACHER: Jesus Taught With Parables Drawn From Everyday Life Jesus was the master at using parables that related to the lives of people. Many of his parables reflected things that he had no doubt seen while he had up in Galilee.

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