#but the title track is my go to song when im mad

[purparo]

DON'T YOU FEEL AMAZING?

[pedrithink]

delicate ✩ jude bellingham

about: the massive hate you are getting on internet and the way jude stood by you, supporting you.

couple: jude bellingham x reader! singer

request: hey babyyyy! what do u think about a jude x reader (maybe olivia rodrigo fc) ?? xxx love u

face claim: olivia rodrigo

NOW: Jude’s Bellingham talks ‘Real Madrid’, His first World Cup’s impressions & His favorite Y/N’s songs.

comments ⬇️

user1 he’s so perfect 🥹 yn and him seemed like soulmates

user2 I REMEMBERED WHEN YN POINTED AT JUDE DURING GORGEOUS AND HE TOOK A PHOTO AND SHE WAS ALL GIGGLY

user3 yn once said “you’re so gorgeous, it actually hurts” and “they say home is where the heart is, but that's not where mine lives. you know I love a london boy.”

user4 @user3 im yn

user5 imagine being jude bellingham and having yn write her best love songs and best title tracks about you a DREAM

judebellingham has added to their story

ynusername

Liked by judebellingham, selenagomez, and 5.682.972 others

ynusername vampire song and video out now 🧛🏼. writing this song helped me sort through lots of feelings of regret, anger, and heartache. it's one of my favorite songs on the album and it felt very cathartic to finish. im so happy it's in your hands now and I hope it helps u deal with any bloodsuckers in your lite. all my thanks 4ever 🫶🏻

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judebellingham proud of you, vampie 🧛🏼��🥹🫶🏻

ynusername @judebellingham love u babs

user1 vampire is one of the best songs ever

user2 another song about another ex 🥱🙄

user3 @user2 literally let people write out their feelings or WHATEVER they want. obviously yall can only attack women for this tho...

user4 people calling yn boring or overrated for writing songs about her ex does not sit right w me …. like let her write about whatever she wants?? she’s 20??? all singers have songs about their ex’s???? stfu

user5 @user4 SPEAK. ON. IT

user6 "yn makes too much songs ab her ex" "all she write is break up songs, she’s so obsessed"

ok then stop listening to her songs 🤷🏻‍♀️

user7 whaaaaat 😭 why are there so many people mad that yn wrote some songs about her ex. meanwhile, there are men who only write songs about fucking hoes and using drugs and yet they still get praised for it 🥱

judebellingham

Liked by ynusername, masonmount, and 7.899.082 others

judebellingham date night with vampie to celebrate all of her achievements, proud of u ❤️‍🩹

View all 34.872 comments

ynusername 🧛🏻‍♀️🩸❤️‍🩹🧛🏼

user8 JUDE CALLING YN VAMPIE >>>>

user9 i hope i find someone who supports me the way jude supports yn

user10 ill always be soft for these two. its amazing how jude supports yn in any way he can and yn never forgets to save jude a seat. fucking POWER COUPLE!!!

user11 @user10 i just love them

user12 lets talk about the fact that at the 2020 grammys she didn’t feel like there was someone to celebrate with and now she has one and he helps her and supports her and take her on dates when she achieves more and more in her singing career 🥹

user13 yn and jude be like: happiest relationship of my life, so let’s go cheer for my breakup songs together 💕💞💓💗💖💘

ynusername

Liked by judebellingham, arianagrande, and 10.927.526 others

ynusername delicate is out now 🫧 surprise song for y’all, hope u like it 🫶🏻

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user14 delicate video really speaks to me. yn let go of the world's expectations of how she should act, smile and behave. once she did that, she was able to find who she was looking for. i’m shaking and crying, so so proud of our baby!!!!

user15 @user14 it’s already my favorite music video of her!!!! i love the lyrics 2

user16 these pics were taking by jude i’m CRYING and the lyrics… I JUST LOVE HIM EVEN MORE

user17 @user16 yeah 🥹 i’m so happy that she found someone that makes her feel like that

user18 delicate is one of the most beautiful songs yn has ever written, it’s so GENUINE.

[songbirdseung]

peek-a-boo / choi yeonjun

synopsis: your boyfriend unintentionally and or accidentally spoils your comeback

pairing: idol au, yeonjun x reader

warnings: none, maybe one cuss word

wc: 459

"Yeah, she's been doing alright, thank you guys for taking it so well and being supportive" yeonjun says before shoving another mouthful of salad into his mouth.

With the constantly new announcements of idols dating, you and yeonjun decided to confirm all the rumors that had been circulating. But also, because he was jealous how you were always paired and shipped with straykids' hyunjin.

"But I've seen a handful of negative comments and reactions but hey *shrugs* what can I do, except file a lawsuit" he smirks as he takes a sip of his smoothie.

"Should I show you guys some cute pics and videos I have of yn?" He reaches for his phone as soon as he saw so many 'yes' replies. Clearly excited to show you off. "Here take a look at this, she fell asleep on my chest for the first time here."

He continues to show his fans as well as giving out back stories to each one, everything was going fine until he swiped to the next one (screen still facing the fans to see) and it's a clip of you recording your unreleased song, you comeback title track.

Luckily, he noticed right away and paused the video, putting his phone down and yelling sorry over and over again. "YN IM SORRY, PLEASE DONT HURT ME" spinning around in his chair while his face is covered by both his hands.

Apologizing not only to you but everyone on you team basically, begging moa not to spread it around but he knew deep down, he fucked up.

The situation got more interesting when you knocked on the door where he was at. "You guys, whatever happens to me, you'll have it on camera, documented." Pointing two fingers at his eyes then to the camera. "Yeonjun stop being dramatic and open the door."

He sighs out dramatically and opens the door. "Heyyyy baby, didn't expect to see you here" pulling you into a hug "wanna say hi to moa, the ones that made me the idol that I am, the ones that protect me, the ones who-"

"I'm not mad" you pull away from the hug and look at the way his face quickly changes into a confused bewildered one. "Is this a trick?"

"No, why would you think that?"

"Well, I don't maybe I JUST SPOILED A SONG THAT YOU HAVEN'T EVEN RELEASED YET!" then he turns back to the phone and begs moa again not to leak anything.

"Don't you think it's too late for that?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to" for the rest of the live, you joined in and for the rest of the live, yeonjun was freaking out inside on what could the managers and producers say to him later.

[slimeclimbtime]

RANKING SF9 TITLE TRACKS

disclaimer that this is for fun do not get offended i beg

1. Bibora i feel like this one's just a given. it's catchy, gets straight into the groove without any pauses, rides out very satisfyingly and everyone has even lines! dance is fun (am so mad we never got a dance practice for it), song sounds great—not generic, but not so experimental its offputting either. it's also a house song like come on you guys know i LOVE house music. the only thing that could've made this song better is if we got an ot9 version but alas. a girl can dream. 10/10 this is 100% my no 1 song on spotify

2. Now or Never a CLASSIC. moody and then gets right to the dancefloor. the dance really elevates this song—its SO smooth??? the chorus is iconic (hwiyoung lines too!!) and it ends really nicely as well, no crazy caveats or anything. this song made waves when it came out AS IT SHOULD!!

3. Don't Worry, Be Happy am i biased bc this was my first comeback with sf9 and the inseong promotions got me hooked? yes. but is this song bad? not even close. im so glad they didn't go with a ballad comeback bc even if this song is very chill and doesn't really leave that much of an impression its so happy and im glad sf9 kinda went back to a more lighthearted concept (like mamma mia and scream)

4. Tear Drop so sparkly so unique. love the motifs of tears and the sad sexy vibe we just get from the whole thing. the choreo is ICONIC (apu) and the fits this era were INSANE. the drop was very satisfying, loved how it bounced around in my ears.

5. Puzzle this one mightve been a miss to more people than i thought it would be, but honestly out of all the d flat minor titles that sf9 has an unusual abundance of, this one's my fav. choreo is sick, song gets stuck in my head easily (puzzling puzzling puzzling AAAA), just overall a fun, coasty song that doesn't feel too underwhelming

6. Enough one of the rare slow tempo tracks, this song caught me when it first came out. the autotune gives it so much character, and the dance is addicting and the chorus gets stuck in my head so easily LOL. i think this one mightve been slept on a little more by some but it deserved better

7. Fanfare this track is so weird but i like the melody LOL. the song def leans a little more on the experimental side of things. catch me saying "shh, uh, fanfare ullyeora" so many times. the way they pronounce fanfare is adorable too

8. Scream this song is so dirty and barely even hides it in the way that it seems innocuous on paper and then you actually pay attention for a bit and its way dirtier than expected. chorus didn't really get me, but the verses are my fav and i love the summer concept!

9. Mamma Mia this song is so cute that's all i really have to say. its so 2010s esque in vibes and song type, even if its taking inspiration from grease. dawon's hair was a tragedy but the song made up for it (also FUN HAIR COLORS)

10. Trauma the drop was a little underwhelming for me but i really liked the slow bass beat we had going on in this song :)

11. Summer Breeze the verses saved this song bc i don’t really like the chorus that much at all. the high note is really good tho

12. Good Guy putting good guy this low hurts, but their other songs are just so much stronger. choreo ate tho

13. O Sole Mio it's okay, also suffers from the underwhelming issue that trauma has. its a good song, but not exactly title track enough for me

14. Roar im an EDM nut and putting roar this low? a crime. but it feels like its missing some oomph for me

15. RPM on the other side of EDM nut, this song's drop is just... not doing it for me. the verses are great tho

16. Shine Together im not big on softer stuff so this is just a matter of taste

17. Easy Love same reasoning as shine together. its cute, but just not my thing

18. Savior im ngl idk if this even counts? but its also just underwhelming lol

[starsstuddedsky]

Star’s 2023 Top K-Pop Songs 

*only one song per artist

**I forgot half the songs I listened to this year 

27. The Rizzness – Taemin 

This song had potential for top 5, were it not for that fuck ass title/the lyrics. The instrumental track is just too good, I loooooove it so much. 

26. In Bloom – ZEROBASE ONE

I think this says more about me thank anything else but i just love a pumpy song, it was fun, good track, what else is there to say 

25. Still You – Seungkwan 

This is me cheating and throwing in an OST but it is far too good and I don’t ever hear anyone talk about it. This song kept me together for half the summer. Go listen right now and tell me im wrong for adding it. 

24. UNFORGIVEN – LE SSERAFIM

This is partially because of the MV, i simply love cowboy concepts. Just iconic. dont come for me if their new releases are “better” bc this is my list and also i haven’t listened yet. I am behind. 

23. SHALALA – TAEYONG

ICONIC. MV, song, all of it SCREAMEDDDDD ty and i love him for that. I really admire artists that are truly dedicated to their craft and taeyong is just one of those dudes.  

22. Say You Love Me – Kai 

I couldn’t not put him. I can’t believe there’s a whole year left until he comes back. It’s genuinely insane. anyway rover deserves to be on here too but i wanted to be special (also ur lying if you think this isnt the best song on that album. the only alternative is sinner) 

21. Air Force One – ODD EYE CIRCLE 

Right when I started wanting to listen to LOONA, everything happened and, well, at least they’re safe. This song is such a bop idk 

20. Will I Ever See You Again? – Red Velvet 

I think this is mostly just my personal taste but it’s sooooo good, an easy listen but consistently good???? 

19. LEFT RIGHT – XG 

2000s concept SLAYED, idk it’s just such a good song? like i’m not picky in my music taste but this is very much my style 

18. Get Loose – THE7

yes i got it from tiktok but a good song is a good song and this is a good song. I actually just like fun songs 

17. LONE RANGER – MONSTA X 

Remember when i said i love cowboy concepts? yeah. I also was working on a horse farm when this came out so like. it just fit  

16. Fire Eyes – The BOYZ 

Remember what i said about fun songs? i don’t even know how i found it bc i dont listen to the boyz religiously but i LOVE this song 

15. Memories – RIIZE 

They’re actually iconic for having siren and memories as pre-releases and showcasing their dance/singing abilities. K-pop is very much about singing for me and boys can sing, so memories made the cut. Honestly all their songs have been on repeat for me though, i just love the final chorus of this song ugh 

14. PADO – NCT U 

This is another cheat but i couldn’t not put it on. like haechan????? xiaojun???? yeah.. you got me confused…… you got me soooo satisfied 

13. Cool With You – NewJeans

Ditto remains my top newjeans song but cool with you… like i said with left right, it’s just very my style and idk i really enjoyed it. The whole album was soooo good JUST TOO SHORT 

12. Bubble – STAYC 

SLAYC IS BACK LETS GOOOOOO!!!!!!! I LOVE bubblegum pop so this was right up my alley. It’s just so funny and i love the girlies so much im so mad i couldn’t see them on tour 

11. Space – NCT 127 

WE’RE IN THE TOP TEN NOW LETS GOOOOO!!! Every time this song comes on i ascend to a higher plane of existence like that one spongebob meme. Let it breathe. Let it chill. Yeah we doin’ too much too much. specifically jaehyun on that part……. Oouugghhhhhhhh (whatever instrument/fake instrument that’s doing that one part…. Idk how to describe but ooughhhhhh) 

10. BOUNCY (K-HOT CHILLI PEPPERS) – ATEEZ 

When i tell you this was on REPEAT while i was in japan… i was making it bouncy all through the streets. played it for my mom and she said “this is a weird song” 

9. Fighting – BSS

That one tweet that’s like BSS’s music is like “dont kill yourself were booseoksoon.” yeah. It’s half that and half their performance and incredible ability to always make me laugh 

8. Poison – NCT DREAM

my world STOPPED when that track video dropped like…… have i mentioned haechan bc wow. he saw the baekhyun poster outside the recording studio and swore he wouldn’t let him down and he did just that. i love me some good whore music and that is whore music baby 

7. Spicy – aespa 

Perfect balance between bubblegum pop and noise music. the girlies came to serve and they did just that. 

6. JUMP – P1Harmony 

Not to be that person but they are seriously soooooo underrated. Justice for my boys because this song is just so good. I NEED to see it in person 

5. Queencared – (G)-IDLE 

SO hard to choose between this and I DO (and allergy) but ugh. the bubblegum pop won in the end. I love this song so so much, had the time of my LIFE singing along to it. Yuqi come home <3 

4. Poppin’ Love – WayV 

Idc if you don’t think they’re kpop, they’re going on my list. This song just has it all

3. I Don’t Understand But I Luv U – SEVENTEEN 

Remember what i said about whore music? also i genuinely don’t know why anyone was surprised when they looked at the lyrics for the first time like just listen to the song and it’s obvious what they were singing about idk. thank you woozi, thank you jun, thank you hoshi, thank you minghao, and thank you dino. if i dont see this song in concert……… lord knows what will happen to me 

2. Let Me In – EXO 

this was my number one song of the year i think. It came out right before i went to japan so all those positive memories are associated with this song, but also like.. she’s just that bitch. My first release with DO, Chen, and Baekhyun on one track together and let me tell you.. This song is just too good. Vocals will always win me over and the entire bridge-last chorus (actually the whole song).. just so good. 

1. Can We Go Back – NCT DJJ 

Whore music. Vocals. What else do you need???? When i tell you this song has brought me out of a Mood several times,,, idk what it is i just love this song so much. i put it on to write this and like. there’s just nothing bad about this song, its too good. the instrumental, the vocals, they knew EXACTLY what they were doing. PLEASEEEEE keep letting jaehyun sing it’s such a crime to hide his voice 

Runner Ups: 

I DO – (G)-IDLE, Allergy – (G)-IDLE, Super – SEVENTEEN, Perfume – NCT DJJ, SHOOTING STAR – XG, Sinner – Kai, Rover – Kai, Ay-Yo – NCT 127, Lip Gloss – THE BOYZ, God of Music – SEVENTEEN, RODEO – WayV, Get a Guitar – RIIZE, Talk Saxy – RIIZE, Welcome to MY World – aespa, Drama – aespa, Guilty – TAEMIN, She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not – TAEMIN, NewJeans 2nd EP ‘Get Up’ 

“What about _” i probably forgot to add it, i wont lie 

inspired by threads ive seen on twitter. if you see this and want to do it PLEASE do!!!! and tag me in it!! i love reading these :)

[husbandhoshi]

hello lily! ive come to seek nct song recs (any and all units) bc im not much of a nctzen but im itching for new music and your recs don’t miss 😌 ty!!

OMG…………literally this made my night. i got so excited. i think my favorite part ab nct’s discography is that there is literally something for everyone so im sure you’ll like at least some of these!!! the sm boycott is still going on so i’ll look for the music drive when im off mobile and link it here :’)

nct “classic” songs/hall of fame (“noise music”, experimental) : the seventh sense (u), cherry bomb (127), simon says (127), kick it (127), superhuman (127), make a wish (u), hot sauce (dream)

if you like svt rock with you, darling: without you (u), yacht (127), hello future (dream), designer (127), highway to heaven (127), dive into you (dream)

if you like svt crush, moonwalker: literally most of wayv’s title tracks— my personal faves are miracle, love talk, moonwalk, poppin love! also: whiplash (127), 0 mile (127), elevator (127), love on the floor (127), pado (u), baby don’t stop (u), better than gold (dream)

if you like svt getting closer, back it up: skyscraper (127), saturday drip (dream), ay-yo (127), ok! (u), mad city (127), misfit (u)

if you like r&b: back2u (127), time lapse (127), round&round (u), faded in my last song (u), baby don’t like it (127)

and my personal favs that weren’t mentioned: nonstop (127), limitless (127), my first and last (dream), 90s love (u)

[subskz]

Aur right Miss Rin, I WANNA KNOW when u became a Stay. You honestly give Stay since Debut vibes (especially w/ ur love of Levanter) but I am often Wrong saur...

I, personally, only became a Stay in April 2021. My friends peer-pressured me into changing my pfp on Discord to Felix and I was like "He's actually p cute.. what group is he from?" and the rest is history. Now I'm the #1 Yeni Lover and Awkward Silence Enthusiast.

I also dragged my mom into this mess too in June 2021 (she's Felix biased with Chan as a bias wrecker and she also loves Hyunjin, Han, & Seungmin too). She went to the concert with me, so we both witnessed the infamous:

"Felix!!! Take me, Felix!!!" -Han Jisung; July 14, 2022

She laughed, I was absolutely Going Insane in the seat next to her with the thought: "The sub!skz council must know abt this"

ANYWAYS

Bonus Question: What's your favorite random Skz song? Can be a title track, b-side, solo, duet, trio, sub-unit, player, record, cover, etc.

Bonus BONUS Question: What's your favorite "era" for each member? For me, it's:

Chan - Miroh or Yellow Wood

Minho: Levanter (specifically all these looks⬇️ the satin(?) shirts with the sheer ascots)

Changbin: Go Live

Hyunjin: Oddinary

Han: I am Who?

Felix: Noeasy

Seungmin: 5-star

Jeongin: Maxident

hello my dearest pink! please the way u got into skz is killing me…lix is the most dangerous gateway drug huh 😭 what drew u to yeni? im wondering if back door being their most recent cb at the time had anything to do w it bc i think he shone so much in that era <3

i am unfortunately not a debut stay ㅠ but i’m kinda honored i give off that vibe hehe i got into skz in january 2019! my friend had been trying to get me into kpop for so long but i just never clicked w any groups she showed me…then one day i came across the name “stray kids” on twt and it stood out to me bc i thought it was cool! so i checked out i am you and immediately fell in love…my friend was so mad LOL. miroh will always hold a special place in my heart bc it was not only my first comeback w skz but their first win too!!

it’s so cute that u got ur mother into them too!! she has good taste 😼 I REMEMBER WHEN U SENT UR ASK ABT THAT LMAOO little did she know the absolute illness that unleashed on us all…a moment in sub skz history

hmm if im understanding the question right u mean just any random song out of their discography? if that’s the case i’ll go w silent cry! how abt u?

i agree so much abt lino’s levanter styling…the soft sweaters n silk shirts they had him in made him look so so angelic 😞 i’m a bit indecisive so i probably cant settle on just one era for each member heh

chan - i am you/go live

lino - levanter/i am who

binnie - miroh/go live

hyune - i am who/levanter

jisung - miroh/5 star

felix - yellow wood/oddinary

seungmo - 5 star/maxident

innie - maxident/in life

[dreamscreep]

abt the weird dreams, i had this dream i was scrolling on twt and saw a thread explaining why the most recent mx title track at the time was about incest and i was like "is this true??? well why don't i ask j*oheon??? because he was in my house for some reason. so i go to him and i ask him if the song is abt incest and he responds rlly passive aggressively and im like ??? so we end up getting into an argument, things get heated and he SAYS SOMETHING RACIST TO ME. i get really fucking mad and im yelling at him. for some additional context, there's other people in the room with us, and when i turn to speak with them i use spanish, and then switch to using english with j*oheon. this is important because at some point i realize that he can understand when im talking to other people, which he shouldnt be able to do because he doesnt speak spanish. and i also realize he hasnt said anything in korean yet... so i get really suspicious and i ask him to say something in korean and he freezes, which means he cant speak korean. which should not be possible... unless he ISNT THE REAL J*OHEON. he has the realization that i've figured it out and runs out of my house, and i chase after him but eventually i lose him. when i go back it turns out the real j*oheon was at my aunt's place, which is rlly close to mine. i explain to him what happened and hes like "damn. thats crazy."

that is. so funny lmao

[mosviqu]

IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH AND I HATE ALL OF THE THINGS I GOT TO KNOW ABOUT THIS ERA THEIR HARD WORK IS NOT APPRECIATED ENOUGH WAHHH

i didn't even have the motivation to check out the last song from them ngl💔💔very sad about them but maybe i will like it after watching music shows lmao i wont give up (fully) on the 03liners💔 WAITTTT TRUE HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT INTAK WHAT THE HECK I WAS SO HAPPY ABOUT HIM (and same i saw that they are having a cb and i was like:o i forgot about u guys:o) AN AMAZING CREW!!!! also would selfishly add enhypen sunoo he is a lovely 03 liner as well🥹 (idk know mcnd☹️☹️ i heard like 2-3 of their songs but i never checked them out☹️ BUT IM HAPPY THERE IS AN 03 LINER IN THERE!!!)

IT IS IMPORTANT BUT IM STILL NOT SURE IF ITS 100% TRUE😭 i love keeho so much like that was the point where i was like yeah u are going to be my fav from here!! seeing the screenshots of it still makes me laugh so much

i can imagine that😭 my sister was in the exact same situation as u💀

IT WAS!!!! dino is lovely and i would love to see u being his body guard ngl🤣 I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY DIDNT DO IT💔💔just such a big heartbreak💔💔ALSO TALKING ABOUT TREASURE DID U HEAR THE SNIPPET HE POSTED OF A SONG??? it sounds very great imo

I CAN SO RELATE TO THAT!!! english is so hard without english classes i never realized that till now💔 i only talk in english with my sister but it's a mess i even just struggle to put together sentences now😭 writing my replies takes so much brain cells from me so i always just pray that u will get what i'm trying to say even if it's not correct lmao🥸 RECORDING VLOGS IS SO MUCH FUN!! i did it for a while and it was so amazing so i recommend it only sent them to my bestie but it was actually so funny😭 THE BRITISH PEOPLE GOT US REAL HARD💔

(AHHH THANK U SO MUCH;-; I APPRECIATE IT!!! HANBIN!!! I HOPE U WILL HAVE MORE MOMENTS OVER HIM LMAO HE IS VERY GREAT😌 although be careful with asking me about zbone members cuz idk three of them;-; but working on it🤞 and u can tag me or message me ofc i dont mind🥹💕) (liebestraum anon🥳💕)

LITERALLYYYY i saw a tiktok where it compared all the other dances where its a member x woman (ten or baek) and it said "so this is okay, but this isnt?" showing enha and the comments were like "we are the problem" LMAO so at least they are self-aware.

no because i was really disappointed too >:(( but the title track still slaps i said what i said. watched them perform it too and they have cute bubbly vibes i am heartbroken for the lack of interest from my side. NO BC WHEN I STARTED BIASING INTAK AND REALISED HE WAS A 03 LINER I HAD A MENTAL BREAKDOWN. ((still am a jiung girlie at heart tho). i am really excited for their cb tho it sounds amazing!!! HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT SUNOO WHAT THE FUCK AAAAAAAAAA IM SO SORRY he's my fav 03 liner. ((there are actually 2 03 liners in mcnd but i forgot the other one LMAO i honestly cant remember their names anymore but i had a very short mcnd phase lol. all i know is that i'd die for minjae thats all)

i would honestly be a good bodyguard bc i have a lot of rage in me. like i could fully fight someone if i was mad enough LMAOO. everything for dino baby <3 I DID SEE THE SNIPPET I LOST MY SHIT LOWKEY HIGHKEY I AM SO EXCITED AAAAAAA

i mean english isnt really hard for me if we are talking abt writing and stuff but speaking out loud is more difficult if you don't regularly do it >:( dont worry we are on the same wavelength i always know what u mean w your replies AHAH sometimes i speak in eng w my roommate bc she is an english major (she only picked the major bc of me and then i ended up doing psychology so i owe her this bc her english isnt as good as mine) I USED TO RECORD VLOGS W MY BROTHER but we never posted them thank god. i'm still down to do it honestly its so fun LMAO

hanbin.......i looked up his name on tiktok once and now my fyp is filled with him and im so in love he's so cute and adorable and sweet like i saw clips of ppl giving him letters and how much he loves getting them and even asked if anyone has letters for him please zb1 fans give him letters!!!!!! no bc i only know ricky, hanbin, zhang hao and matthew :,) but the more i see them on my fyp the more i am convinced to stan once they debut like i legit debated on watching boys planet yesterday bc i lowkey like survival shows but when i found out the eps are 2 hours long i decided to just....not...do that...

also a small update on the tbz recs i did some progress and i really liked diamond life and survive the night :p i have like 11 songs left from the ones u recommended LMAO but yeah i loved those two

[jaeyunluvr]

kasjdaksd thanks for the tag mona muah ily <3

Who is your favourite k-pop group?

i stan NCT, enhypen, the boyz, treasure, p1harmony, exo, zb1, seventeen, evnne, riize, shinee and some more groups but nct are my ults

Which member sparked your interest first?

TENNNN. one of the first songs i watched was 'baby don't stop' (started unholy i know) and as somebody who has always loved dancing and danced a lot since childhood, i fell for him. also haechan because of his very very unique voice.

Who was your first bias?

TEN. very much, i love how he's so authentic and passionate about his work. and he's also utterly insane in every way.

Who is your current bias?

TENNNN good lord i've always been a ten girl. AND haechan, these two stand on the same level for me.

What makes them your current bias?

ten, as i've already mentioned he inspires me so so much, his passion for dance and his attitude of giving-his-all-for-work is literally my favourite thing about him because personally i wouldn't leave a work i start until i finish it. haechan is just and utterly talented, all rounder idol. his dancing style is also one of my favourites among the members (michael jackson's son right there), and his voice oh my god it sends me to heaven. and i also love how down to earth both of them are, not that other idols aren't but i can just feel how genuinely they love their work.

Who is your bias wrecker?

oh damn, there would be a lot cuz of the amount of members. 1)jaehyun- he's beauty personified and i love, love, love his vocal tone. i can never get enough of his voice, that i like me better and can't take my eyes off you cover changed the trajectory of my life. 2) mark- do we even have to talk about this. his rap, his flow, his stage presence, his HUMOUR, this man is everything. nobody does it like mark lee.

Which members are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/bias wrecker?

xiaojunnnnnnnn oh god i need this man to erase me from existance. ever since universe got out, that one highnote changed my life and why is he so funny. HIS LIVES ARE SO FUNNY.

When did you first discover the group?

2019 maybe, it was after the release of regular (127) , one of my friends was like dudeee there's this group called nct you gotta listen to their new release and then i did and then BAM!!!!! VVS MY DIAMONDS I DON'T NEED NO LIGHT TO SHINE

Have you ever been to one of their concerts?

no :) i wish i could tho atleast once in my whole life, very very slim chance that i'll get to see them live but i wish so bad

What are some of your favourite songs by this group?

this is an essay type question💀 i'll go unit by unit 127- title tracks favourite, cherry bomb, simon says, touch, limitless, STICKER(she's a queen) bsides heartbreaker, DESIGNER (it's about me, it's my song, it's my career anthem, they made this for MEEE), lipstick, mad dog, love me now, elevator 127F, lips, welcome to my playground, fly away with me, city 127, whiplash, baby don't like it, good thing dream - title tracks glitch mode, go, we go up, my first and last, ridin, hello future, broken melodies, don't need your love (</3), istg bsides poison, blue wave, drippin, 119, beautiful time, dear dream, walk you home, saturday drip, better than gold, ANL, dive into you, quiet down, 7 days, love again , puzzle piece, deja vu, dreaming wayv- title tracks turn back time, moonwalk, kick back, love talk, bad aliveee bsides nectar, action figure, comeback, let me love u U- 7th sense (holds the crown of the best nct song ever), without you, every song on the nct 2018 empathy album (including the intro cuz neo got my back), misfit, volcano, BOSS, baby don't stop, faded in my last song, make a wish, MY EVERYTHING, round&round, ok!, baggy jeans, pado, the bat

I APOLOGISE FOR THE LONG ASS LIST im just such a music obsessed woman guys.

thank you for the tag my lovelies 🥹 @milkandhyunnie & @luckieleaf

who is your favorite kpop group?

stray kids!!! only group i stan but i do casually listen to other groups

which member sparked your interest first?

HYUNLIX. i would always look for them while watching skz code and they are the first members whose names i memorized :,)

who was your first bias?

i did not have one bias at first 😭 but my bias line was hyune, lix, chan and minho

who is your current bias?

HYUNEEEE 💓💓💓💓💓💓 woke up one day and he possessed me

what makes them your current bias?

i could talk for hours about this but 😭 a big part of it is how he looks at life, he has the most beautiful mind and heart and pours sm passion and emotion in everything he does that it’s impossible not to love him

who is your bias wrecker?

ALL OF THEM DEPENDS ON THE DAY 😭😭 rn it’s mostly seungmin, innie & jisung… something in the air with my goneawayracha

which members are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/bias wrecker?

wait i lowkey answered this, but yeah hyunjin is the husband and im crushing on all the members 😞

when did you first discover this group?

it was right before maxident, hyunlix dancing to taste popped up on my fyp because i was watching a bit of blackpink dances and I had ZERO kpop knowledge so i did not even know they were having a comeback 😭😭 but yeah first kpop group ive ever loved and they found me at the perfect time :,)

have you ever been to one of their concerts?

NO 😭😭😭😭 this makes me so sad i wanna see them live badly

what are some of your favorite songs by the group?

rn it’s sssick, megaverse, any, cover me and 3racha

tagging : @forlix @rachalixie @soobnny @sulfurcosmos @agi-ppangx @hyunjinvoid @its-stayville-forever @stardustlixie @minhosimthings and anyone who wants to join 💓

[pheeby-deeby]

Midnights Musings

Okay! Here we go. My thoughts on Midnights below!

First, here's a breakdown of my thoughts, song by song:

Lavender Haze—This could be on reputation easily. Or Lover. reminds me a little of “I think he knows” just in the chorus. Clearly about Joe.

Maroon—“Your roommate's cheap ass screw top rose—that's how” is gonna be a MEME I can feel it. Also “The mark you saw on my collarbone, the rust that grew between telephones/The lips I used to call home, so scarlet, it was maroon” LYRICS QUEEN. “Carnations you had thought were roses, that's us” ADKGJAGLK

Anti-Hero—oh! YES!!! I FOUND A DRARRY SONG!!!! MUAHAHAHAHA. I ADORE THIS. But. What is that "sexy baby" line???? Taylor??? Also “Hi it’s me, hi, Im the problem it’s me” is going to be another meme LOL.

Snow On The Beach—“Life is emotionally abusive” mood lol. “Stars by the pocketful” WAS MADEEEE FOR A FIC TITLE. Overall, beautiful! Lyrically and sonically. (I will say I spent much of this song still thinking about the "sexy baby" line LOL).

You’re On Your Own Kid—-TRACK 5 LETS GOOOO omg wait WOW!!!! are we throwing back to DEBUT DAYS????? DEBUT THEMES???? YES!!!!!!!!!!! I KNEW I’D IMPRINT ON THIS SONG AND I HAVE!!! GIVE ME ALL THE DEBUT FEELS!!! AND JUST SELF-REFLECTION!!! MY JAW IS ON THE FLOOR. ON THE FLOOR. ON. THE. FLOOR.

Midnight Rain—Interesting!! Giving me reputation vibes. “I broke his heart cause he was nice” is this about Tom Hiddleston? It is. I’m basically sure it is.

Question…?——I loooove this. Very boppy.

Vigilante Shit—DFKGHAKJFD OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. Oh my god. I fucking adore. This song. SFKGJHAFDKJ OH MY GOD FULLY @‘ING SCOOTER I CANNOTTTT. OH MY GOD. I LOVE THIS SONG. I JUST. ADFKGJHADFKLHLAKF.

Bejeweled—Oh interesting is this about Jake? “never needy, ever-lovely jewel” from ATW vs the lyrics of this song? Anyway—BOPPPPP!!!! So so so fun.

Labryinth—this feels kinda like Lavender Haze, sonically and lyrically. This is suuuuch a Harry song early in Drarry’s relationship.

Karma—I had my doubts when I saw the leaked lyrics, but I dont mind this! NICE “fuck Scooter” vibes. And just general “I'm HAPPY and fuck the world”

Sweet Nothing—AWWWWW I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS TO BE LIKE THIS BUT OMG!!! I’m like 95% sure this is about her Mom.

Mastermind—Lovely song. Sounds like another song about getting to be with Joe, which Im not mad about. It’s a bop. I like it.

_______________

That said, here are my thoughts on the album itself.

I'll be honest, guys. While I liked most of the individual songs, I was a little bit disappointed because I'd expected something so different. I thought it was going to be 13 individual sleepless nights, but it doesn't feel that way. Some of them don't feel all that distinct, thematically or sonically. The album art and promo stuff were so melancholy-seeming? And the songs were pretty much all boppy, reputation/1989/lover vibes—which is great! But just not what I expected.

That said, I would listen to all of the songs again. I will continue to celebrate them and the album and the era! But there were times I couldn't hear her singing over the instrumentals.

My top songs:

You're On Your Own Kid

Anti-Hero

Vigilante Shit

Maroon

Question...?

_______

From a Drarry standpoint. I see potential in Anti-Hero, Labyrinth, Maroon, and maybe Snow On The Beach.

Tell me your thoughts!

[reidgraygubler]

carolina (spencer reid/reader

Title: Carolina

Request: no, but it was written for @spencerreidbingo​

Couple: spencer reid/fem!reader

Category: smut/angst, with a tiny bit of fluff

Content Warning: SEXUAL CONTENT (praise kink, mild-innocence kink, daddy kink, fingering, oral (male & female), penetrative sex, unprotected sex/cream pie, grinding/petting, hairpulling, breathplay, multiple orgasms, possessive kink, orgasm denial), partying, drinking, swearing, large age gap (between two consenting adults), professor/student, post prison!reid, quick mentions of drinks being drugged (but not actually happening) (if I missed anything, please let me know)

Word Count: 9,064

Summary: Spencer thinks his peer is innocent. But little does he not, she’s not as innocent as he thinks.

A/N: it’s based on carolina by harry styles, bc im a sucker for a good harry song. This was written for @spencerreidbingo​ (i’ll have a separate post with more about that). this takes up the breathplay square on my card (pictured below). This is also the first time im writing a blowjob scene, so im really sorry if it’s not good. i also didn’t have a beta for this, so im kinda blindly posting this. and, lastly, this is a lot longer than i intended. i didn’t mean for it to get this long… it’s just a bunch of words my brain wouldn’t stop saying until i wrote it... i seriously hope you all enjoy this. thank you all for the love and support! check out my masterlist!

~*~* THIS DOES CONTAIN 18+ CONTENT!! *~*~

{***}{***}{***}

I kept my eyes low as I stepped into the lecture hall 5 minutes before anyone else. The professor was writing something on the chalkboard, so his back was facing the room. 

“Uh, hello,” I spoked, stepping closer to his desk. He jumped slightly and dropped his chalk at the sound of my voice. I would have expected him to know students would be showing up earlier, considering it was the start of a new semester. And, I honestly would have assumed he was told a new student was coming. That’s not my job. 

“Oh, sorry,” he turned around to face me. I smiled softly, watching

as he bent down to pick up the chalk. I cocked my head to the side, watching his backside as he stood back up. He pushed his hair away from his face. “You must be the new transfer,” he asked, resting the chalk on his desk, beside a pile of pens.

“Yep. That’s me…” I smiled, looking up at his face, keeping myself from further checking him out. I quickly offered my hand and gave him my name. “I know I’m early. I figured I’d get the syllabus from you now instead of after class,” I nodded as I adjusted my grip on my bag. He stared at me for a moment, his eyes lingering on my face and then down my body, and that moment felt like an eternity. I shouldn’t be mad or frustrated with him. I basically did the same thing to him moments ago.

 I cleared my throat to get his attention once again. “The, uh… The syllabus?” I asked as my smile faltered slightly. He looked at me before looking at the pile of papers on his desk before quickly moving.

“Right, right, sorry,” he muttered as he began shuffling through the piles of paper on his desk. “Um, here you are,” he looked back up at me as he handed me a small packet. I looked at it for a moment before looking back up at the teacher.

“Perfect, thank you,” I spoke, my words kind of lingering because he never actually gave me his name. 

“Right, sorry, Spencer. Spencer Reid. I won’t be a drill sergeant about the whole Mr., Dr., Professor. You can call me whatever you want,” he smiled as he placed his hands on the back of his chair. I held back my laughter and the wildly inappropriate joke that I wanted to make.

“Well, Professor Reid,” I smiled as I looked down at my watch, “I better go find a seat before your class starts. I can’t wait to be in your class,” I looked up at him before turning to find a spot. When I sat down, Spencer looked at me with a smile, before going back to writing on the chalkboard. 

I quickly and quietly pulled out my books and pens as the other people in the class filed in and took their seats. Spencer quickly finished writing on the board before turning around to greet the class. And, even as he spoke to the class, and looked around at each of the other students, his eyes always landed on me, lingering for a moment before going elsewhere.

{***}{***}{***}

Five months. Five months into being in Spencer Reid’s class, and I have been suffering. I’m not a new student anymore. But the only friendship I’ve made is with my fucking professor, and there’s a certain level of tension between us. That tension was probably thanks to him staring at me during lectures, and me teasing him while he taught. It wasn’t too bothersome, but I definitely wanted something to happen. Unfortunately for me, I don’t think anything will happen. 

So, can someone please tell me why I invited Spencer over to help me study for a test? It’s a stupid question too, that I already figured out the answer to… I even finished studying for the day, and I’m going to a stupid party. Maybe I could get him to go with… And maybe, just maybe, something could happen.

I nearly jumped when there was a knock on the door. It’s not that I forgot he was coming over. It’s that I was so wrapped up in doing my makeup and forgot what time it was. My mascara almost smudged when I jumped back. Thank God it didn’t smudge too terribly. 

I grabbed my shirt off the counter and threw it on (not bothering to zip it), before running to the front door. I smoothed out my skirt before pulling the door open. And, there stood Spencer. 

“Hope I’m not too late,” he looked down at me and smiled. Although, his smile didn’t stay for too long when he saw what I was wearing. He wasn’t disappointed though, no. He was… He clearly liked what he saw, I’ll just put it that way.

“Oh! Thanks for coming over, but I actually figured it out. I should’ve called you,” I looked up at Spencer as he stepped into my apartment. I struggled to zip the back of my blouse as I walked towards my room. I looked back over my shoulder and noted that Spencer was, indeed, still following me. “Can you zip me up,” I stopped in my tracks before giving up on zipping my blouse. It was a black crop top that paired well with the pale pink tennis skirt. 

“Where… Where exactly are you going tonight? It’s a, uh, it’s a school night,” he asked as he lifted his hands. The cool metal of the zipper pressed against my back, causing a shiver to go through my spine.

“Uh, there’s this party,” I answered, stepping away from him and towards the bathroom, “Thought I’d go,” I looked at him in the mirror. Spencer looked around the bathroom, at the messy mess I had made on my counter. Different pallets of makeup and tools were strewn about, a varying amount of hair care products tossed here and there. It honestly looked like a bathroom of a pageant queen, and not a 20-something-year-old. In my defense, I had to dress to impress someone here in this stupid university. 

“Is that, uh… Is that smart?” Spencer asked, leaning against the door jamb. I looked up at him as I put on some luxurious red lipstick. I smiled as I looked at him.

“I think it is,” I laughed as I picked up something else and turned to look at him, “You wanna come? I wasn’t invited,” I smiled wickedly as I looked at him. His face paled two shades as he looked at me. “Oh, c’mon, Professor, no one will know us there, and I can assure you, no one will even see us,” I looked up at him as I readjusted his tie. He looked down at me before swallowing roughly. 

“I don-”

“I do need a designated driver,” I spoke before cutting him off. I walked past him and towards my room. Part of me wondered what he was thinking as I so rudely rushed past him, or cut him off, or whatever I was doing. I wished I could hear his thoughts. I wondered if they consisted of “The mouth on that girl,” or, “I should punish her for the way she’s acting,” or, my personal favorite, “I should put that mouth to good use,” 

“How old are you again?” Spencer asked once I sat down on my bed. I looked up at him as I slipped my shoes on.

“22,” I smiled and stood up, “Why, is that important?” I smiled as I grabbed my coat and purse.

“Couldn’t remember,” he lied. We both knew he was lying. He even knew that too. Freaking walking computer is what he is. There's no way he conveniently forgot how old I was. “Are you going to be out late?”

“Why? It’s not like you’re my dad or anything?” I laughed, leading him back to the front door of the house. “I don’t plan on being out too late. I know there’s class tomorrow,” I shrugged as I walked towards his car. 

We both stayed silent as he drove with the directions I was quietly giving him. I was pleasantly happy that we were both quiet, but what I hated was the sudden awkward sexual tension that was between us. If he didn’t have this… domineering personality over me there probably wouldn’t be this tension between us.

“Are you going to come with me?” I looked up at him as I unbuckled. He glanced over at me with slight disappointment in his eye. I felt a little bad, but I really wanted to go to this party, I wasn’t going to let my professor’s disappointment stop me. “Please,” I whispered. He sighed before unbuckling himself. I had to force myself to not verbally giggle with excitement before slipping out of the car. Spencer looked down at me as I twisted my hips to swish my skirt. I smiled as I entertained myself. I'm sure if I wasn't watching my skirt, I would have been staring at him, giving myself away. 

“Steps,” Spencer muttered as we got closer to the porch. I looked up at him before looking towards the small staircase. I looked up at Spencer with a smile. He glanced back down at me, a worried crease in his brow. I looked down at my skirt and smoothed it out. I looked at the door as we stood close to it, I contemplated knocking.

  “So, you weren’t invited to this party?” Spencer asked, looking down at me. His voice stopped me from knocking. Instead, I looked up at him and smiled back up at him. He raised an eyebrow as he waited for an answer from me. My smile grew playful as I looked back at the door, raising my fist to knock on it. “No answer?” he asked, still waiting for my answer.

“Oh, please, Professor Reid, I can get into the hottest parties in LA without an invitation,” I smiled at him. That was a little bit of an over-exaggeration. Most college parties I could get into. But not LA parties. Someday though… 

The door swung open, and we were instantly met with loud music blaring through a speaker somewhere in the house. People’s voices and chatter carried all throughout the house, coming through the various rooms and clusters around. “Are you coming in to babysit me? Or, are you going to go back to your car to read the science of the mathematical phenomenon,” I looked up at him, offering my hand to him. I wasn’t exactly sure if that was a real book or not, but I wouldn’t put it past Spencer to read. 

“I’m not babysitting you,” he corrected as he looked down at me with a disappointed look in his eye. I smiled and rolled my eyes. 

“Are you going to come in and watch me drink and party and have fun, Professor… Or, are you going to go back to your car and read your silly little book,” I looked down at my hand, silently telling him to take my hand and come in with me. 

“I, uh, I don’t think it’s exactly in the rules for a professor to party, let alone drink, with their students,” Spencer spoke before looking down at my hand. I dropped my shoulders and looked up at him.

“Fine then… Suit yourself,” I turned around and basically skipped into the house, leaving the door open for him. I made my way towards the loud kitchen and grabbed for a cup and bottle of whatever booze was nearby. I blindly grabbed for a bottle of Grey Goose and dumped it into the cup, no mixer, no chaser. 

“First off,” Spencer’s voice came from beside me. I looked up at him and took a long sip of vodka. “You shouldn’t be taking drinks from people at a party,” he spoke, taking the cup from me. I looked up at him, then the bottle and a new cup. I was only a little annoyed that he took my drink. 

“I… I’m young. I’m not dumb,” I grabbed a new cup and poured more vodka. I looked up at him and offered him a sip. “I know not to drink something given to me by someone I don’t know.” I scoffed before taking another long sip. I cringed a bit at how strong it was.

“Even then someone could slip something into a drink! Even if you did know them!” Spencer exclaimed, causing the surrounding people to turn and look at us. I dropped my shoulders as I looked up at him. 

“If you look around, Spencer, you’re the only person that I know. So unless you’re the one slipping something into my drink… And, as an FBI agent… I don’t think you would,” I cocked my head to my shoulder. Spencer looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “You have more to say,” I added before taking a sip of my drink.

"And, secondly, you're not as innocent as I had originally thought you were," he watched as I brought the cup of straight vodka to my lips. He looked rather unamused with my talent for drinking straight vodka.

"You thought I was innocent?" I asked, nearly sputtering the liquid with my laughter. "Please! I've never been innocent in my entire life!" I shouted over the music. He raised an eyebrow at my statement, and suddenly I had the greatest idea in the world. "But maybe, just for you, I'll be a good girl," I smiled before drinking the rest of my drink in one go. Spencer looked down at me, his lips pressed into a fine as he stared down at me. Ohh, that definitely awoken something in him. I bit back my smile with my offer. Innocent… He thinks I’m innocent. Ha! I honestly don’t remember the last time I was innocent. And, honestly, just for him… I’d be an innocent, good, little girl for Spencer Reid any day, every day even. “I can be your good, innocent little girl,” I smiled at him and cocked my head.

"I don't… I don't think that'd be… appropriate," he spoke, his words very quiet. We both knew that even though it was inappropriate, we both wanted it. We both knew what we wanted to. 

I glanced at him before pouring more drink for myself. "You should learn to pace yourself," he stated and changed the subject. He nervously looked at the bottle of vodka and then around the room at all the other people drinking. Or, he was just looking for a drink that wasn’t booze. Did he actually want to keep me safe, or was I just overreading him?     

"It's a college party, Professor! I'm not going to pace myself!" I shouted just to get his attention back to me. His head shot back down to me. The level of concern on his face only made me feel a little bad, mostly because he was concerned for me. But, he should know… This is a college party.  “Do you want some?” I asked, offering my drink to him again. I held it up to him, close to his lips. His face twisted up as soon as the scent of pure vodka hit his nose.

“No, no thanks,” he held up at hand to block the cup from his face. I pouted before bringing it to my lips. “Do you usually come to parties,” he asked, his eyes darting around the room. Part of me wondered if he wanted to continue that question with “Like this?” But,  I was too busy keeping my eyes on his face, rather than looking around the room like he was. Although, I’m sure he was used to keeping an eye on his surroundings. I’ve never been too worried about it, I probably should… But hey, you only live once. Going to college parties with your 38-year-old professor, and drinking straight vodka, and not really caring about your surroundings proves my point of YOLO.

“If I don’t have class or anything to study for… Yep,” I looked up at him with a sneaky smile. The joke with that was his particular class had a test coming up soon, and I should be studying for it. He knew that too because he just announced the test this morning. Although, he did come to my home, to help me with said test. “But, I wouldn't show up to his class hungover. It’d disappoint him too much. And, he’d care too much about me to even focus on the rest of the class,” I spoke, answering the questions he was thinking. It’s not like I’ve shown up to classes hungover before. Granted, I’ve never shown up to his class drunk or hungover. Mostly because I didn’t want to disappoint him, and only him. Anyone and everyone else can go blow themselves.

“How do you know that?” Spencer asked, looking back at me with furrowed eyebrows. I smiled and stepped closer to him.  

“How do I know what?” I cocked my head to my shoulder. I already knew what he meant by his question, but… I think teasing him and messing with him is fun. And, he knew that too.

“How do you know that you’d disappoint him?” he looked down at me, pressing his chin to his chest to get a better look at me. His hands were away from me, even though I really wanted his hands anywhere on me. I looked over at my hand and the cup I held before bringing it to my lips. I took a long sip, trying to finish the contents in one go. I tossed the cup over my shoulder and looked up at him with a lazy smile.

“Because being hungover, with the slight possibility of still being drunk, would totally disappoint him… And I would hate to disappoint him.” I whispered and shook my head. Spencer looked down at me with something in his eyes, and I loved the way he looked at me. “I told you, Professor, I’d be a good girl for you,” I cocked my head to my shoulder and smiled, “And only for you,”

“You’re drunk,” he pointed out an obvious fake statement. So, I cackled and shook my head.

“I had one drink,” I scoffed and waved off my in the air, “Most definitely not enough to get me drunk,” I flattened his tie out before gripping it tightly, “Like I said, I wouldn’t want to disappoint you,” I smiled before dropping my hand from his tie, “So, why would I show up to your class… Hungover…? I know you’d care… And I know it’d disappoint you. That’s the last thing I want to do to you,”  

Spencer’s adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed roughly. He quickly looked between me and the room, then back at me, then around the room. I faked a yawn before looking away from him.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom, okay, Professor?” I smoothed out his jacket before turning and leaving him alone in the kitchen. I smiled as I skipped away from him, my skirt swishing with my movement. I secretly hoped he’d follow me. But, a quick glance over my shoulder told me he was still in the kitchen.

However, when I finished my business and left the bathroom, Spencer was leaning against the wall right beside the door. I looked up at him and smiled. 

“Follow me,” he muttered, grasping my wrist and pulling me down the various halls and past multiple groups of people. I giggled the harder his grasp grew on me and the faster he moved. I’m happy people were too busy with themselves to notice a 30-something-year-old man was dragging a 20-something-year-old girl down the hall, to which I can assume was one of the only open bedrooms. Fuck… I hope it's a bedroom. 

He was a man on a mission. Not letting anyone get in his way. The smile that grew on my lips was pure excitement. I couldn’t help it. I’m sure we’re both getting what we wanted… I hope.

I let out an excited yelp when he shoved me into, exactly what I thought, an empty bedroom. I’m surprised he knew that there’d be an empty room. Most of them are occupied, with couples (or more) doing exactly what I hope we’re about to do. Which was fuck each other.

Spencer slammed the door shut, and quickly locked it before pushing me against it. I looked up at him and giggled like a fucking kid in a candy store. Again, I couldn’t help it. 

Spencer was quiet, which led me to be quiet. The air in between us quickly grew hot and tense and thick. I really wanted this to move faster, but I wanted him to be the one in charge. I was willing to let this be slow and let him be in charge. So, when he grabbed both my wrists and held them above my head, I smiled so hard my cheeks began to hurt.

“Tell me what you want,” Spencer’s voice was low and deep as he moved close to me. There was little to no space between us. Which left little to the imagination, for me anyway. 

I looked up at him, with the biggest doe eyes I could muster, silently telling him that I wanted the most, in the entire world, was to be on my knees, with his hand tangled in my hair, and his cock down my throat, or to be fucked so hard that I won’t be able to sit properly for several days. But, I couldn’t be that blunt. You gotta play up to that moment before you get it. I’m sure in the end though, I’ll get both things.

I swallowed roughly, trying to think of what to say, because, like I said, I can’t just be blunt yet. So, when I opened my mouth and words just came out, I was pleasantly surprised with what was said. “You’re old enough to be my father, Professor,” I smiled at him as he pinned me against the door. He pressed his hips against mine to keep me against the surface. I could feel a large bulge against my inner thigh, causing me to shiver. “Does that mean I get to call you daddy,” I whispered as I looked up at him through my eyelashes. He is the one who said I could call him whatever I wanted… And he did just ask me what I wanted, and I guess I wanted to call him ‘Daddy’. There was no guessing about him.

Okay, he wasn't exactly old enough to be my father. But he was a lot older than me. Most 20-something-year-olds aren't sleeping with men 15 years older than them… and most 20-something-year-olds aren't sleeping with their professor… I just wanted an excuse to call him 'Daddy'. And he knew that too. So, if we gave each other an excuse for that to happen, then that was all I needed.

I dropped my head to my shoulder to allow him to attack the space on my neck. He dragged his nose across my jawbone before stilling. His lips were just over my neck. As his breathing got heavier, it tickled across my skin. 

“That does have a nice ring to it,” Spencer hummed as he dropped my hands and stepped away from me. I swallowed roughly as I stared at him. I missed having his body pressed against mine, and he knew that. 

I looked at him as I brought my hands to his belt. "I thought you said this wasn't appropriate, Daddy," I whispered as I quickly undid the belt buckle, without looking. I almost couldn’t move fast enough to unbutton and zip his pants. If he wanted me to stop, he would have stopped me by now. “Can I?” I looked up at him, a plea in my eyes.

"You've changed my mind," he muttered, watching me with such close intent, “God, please keep going,” he spoke like if I did stop now he’d probably die. I looked up at him as I slipped my hand into the waistband of his boxers. He hissed as my fingers brushed against his cock. A small smile grew on my lips. 

“Didn’t take much convincing,” I smiled as my fingers wrapped around him. A small groan fell from his lips as I looked up at him. When I pulled my hand away from him not even a moment later, he looked down at me with an alarmed expression on his face. I quickly spat on my palm before sticking my hand down his pants. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted this?” I whispered as I slowly stroked up and down his length. I couldn’t believe it was actually happening. 

“I’ve wanted this since you stepped foot in my classroom,” his voice was low and gravely as he spoke. My breathing picked up a little bit as I looked up at him. 

Okay… Maybe he did know how long I’ve wanted this. Because I also wanted this the second I stepped into his lecture hall. I wanted his cock in my hands and his hand around my throat. It only took-what, five months for this? I’ll make it worth the wait. 

“Does that feel good,” I whispered, carefully picking up speed and adding the slightest bit of pressure in my grip. Spencer’s eyes fluttered shut as he swallowed roughly and nodded. I smiled before pulling my hand away from him, again. I slowly lowered to my knees and kept my eyes on his face. 

Spencer looked down at him as he gently pushed his fingers through my hair. His fingers gripping hard on my roots before pulling hard. I smiled before very slowly pulling down his slacks and boxers in one go. I was only a little bit intimidated by his size, but the excitement I felt went straight to my core. 

I took a deep breath and swallowed roughly before looking up at him. My mouth fell open, and my tongue stuck out, silently telling him that it was okay. Although I don’t really know why I was telling him that it was okay, we both knew what we wanted, and it was only going to take me doing one thing.

I made eye contact with him as I ran my tongue on the side of his cock. Our eye contact didn’t last long, mostly because he let out a moan and dropped his head back. I smiled as I licked across his tip. A sweet and salty taste was on my tongue. 

My jaw fell slack as I carefully took his length into my mouth. I closed my lips around him before slowly bobbing my head, with my tongue swirling around the underside of his cock. I wrapped a hand around what wouldn’t fit into my mouth. And wrapped my free arm around his leg for support.

The sounds of his moans and grunts filled the mostly quiet room. Music, although muffled through the walls and door, could still be heard from outside of our own world behind the door and four walls.

“You were right,” he struggled to speak through groans, “You aren’t as innocent as I thought,” Spencer's hand had a rough hold in my hair as he held me against him. His cock was penetrating my throat, and breathing was beginning to get difficult. My eyes grew wet and tears grew in the corners of my eyes. 

“You’re such a good girl,” he looked down at me as the tears started to roll down my cheeks. I wouldn’t be surprised if my makeup started smudging and I looked like an adolescent raccoon. “You look so pretty with my cock down your throat,” he struggled to let out a coo, before moving his hips closer to my face. 

Everything about this moment, his hand in my hair, the sounds he was making, the way he smelled, being here… Was intoxicating. I’d give anything to be in this moment again. And I’d give anything to get this moment sooner.

 My knees would hate me in the morning, I just know it. I could already sense the dreaded carpet burn before he even started. But, in all honesty, it’d be worth it. Walking into class tomorrow morning, with bruises and day-old wounds on my knees, just to see his expression.

As I began to pick up pace, the sounds Spencer was making started to become more urgent, easily telling me he was close. But, before he could finish, I pulled away from him, crashing into the wall to get away from his grasp. He looked down at me with a mild frustration on his face. I smiled before wiping my chin clean of spit. 

“I guess chivalry is dead. Whatever happened to ladies first?” I asked, my voice a rasp from how raw my throat was. I looked up at him, feeling a certain level of sass grow in my smile. Spencer quickly tucked himself back into his pants before grabbing my hand. 

“Come on, on your feet,” he muttered as he pulled me back up to a standing position. I nearly toppled over into him if he didn’t hold me upright. I looked up at him and smiled. 

“Bed… Now?” I whispered, my tone showing how urgent I was. It’s not that I wanted this over with, it's that I wanted everything to happen to me all at once, and I wanted it to last for a long time. 

Spencer nodded before cupping my face in his hands. He was harsh when he pressed his lips to mine, like his life depended on it, if he did kiss me now the world would end. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he started guiding me towards the bed. And when the edge of the bed hit the back of my legs, he pushed me back onto it. I quickly moved so my head was resting on the pillows. Spencer was quick to take his cardigan off and be over me. 

“You’re not going to fail me, are you,” I joked as he quickly started leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses on my neck. He lifted his head and looked down at me with confusion on his face. “If I’m a bad fuck,”

“If you ask that again, or bring up class while we’re doing this… Then yes,” he muttered as he looked at me. I laughed as I pushed my fingers through his hair. 

“Oh, shut up,” I laughed as I pulled him down to kiss him, again. One of his hands landed on top of my breast, carefully kneading it, causing me to moan into his mouth. 

His hand slowly drifted away from my chest. I pressed my head into the pillow and looked up at him with a smirk. He carefully dragged his fingers up from my chest to the base of my neck, causing me to let out a shaky gasp. I wanted fingers and a hand around my neck, carefully cutting off my airway just right. Suddenly, I never wanted something so badly in my life. Something dark flashed in his eyes as he looked down at me like he knew what I was about to say. 

“Do it… I fucking dare you,” I muttered, placing both my hands around his wrist. My nose twitched as I stared at him. “I said fucking do it,” I spat, pushing his hand down more onto my neck. My words slowly got cut off as the pressure in his hand and fingers tightened around my neck. A moan struggled to escape me, but did eventually fall from my lips. He seemed pretty happy with that.

“Is that good,” his voice was a growl. I looked at him and moaned.

“Harder,” I begged, my voice growing raspier the more I spoke. He smirked before allowing his grip to tighten. His other hand was still sitting on top of my hips, and I could tell where he wanted to put it. I’d be a dirty, rotten liar if I didn’t want his hand up my skirt. In fact, I’d love it if he did more than just his hand. 

Spencer swallowed roughly before finally sneaking a hand up my skirt and resting it on my underwear. My grip around his wrist got tighter as he pushed past my underwear and past my folds. My eyes fluttered closed as another moan was strangled in my throat. 

“You’re so wet,” he purred as he slowly moved a finger around my clit. I looked up at him, as I struggled to swallow roughly. A dark smirk grew on his lips as he watched me struggle for a moment. “Does that feel good,” he asked, mildly mocking me from earlier. His movements picked up speed just a little bit, and my body reacted, well tried to react. 

“Oh, you’re such a good girl,” he looked down at me. His pupils were so blown I could nearly see my reflection in them. “Another thing you were right about,” he whispered as he slipped a finger into my entrance, and curled it just right. My vision slowly blurred before my eyes rolled into the back of my head. Another moan struggled to escape my throat as Spencer added a second finger. 

My body was on autopilot as I lifted my hand and hit his wrist a few times, telling him that I desperately needed to breathe. When I reopened my eyes, I looked up at him a moment before he removed his hand from my neck. Worry and concern flashed in his eyes as I breathed. Air burned like fire in my lungs as I took a deep breath. As I exhaled a loud moan followed behind, easily telling Spencer and I that I had reached my first orgasm of the night. I just hope there will be more... 

“You did such a good job, Princess,” Spencer whispered as he looked down at me. With his free hand, he brushed the tears away from my cheeks. He carefully withdrew his hand from between my legs and held them up to his face. He looked at them for a moment before placing them in his mouth, sucking and licking them clean. I took a shaky breath and nodded. 

He very sloppily pressed his lips to mine, then on the corner of my lips, and down my jaw, and neck. With one quick movement, a loud rip filled the room, as he tore my shirt off my body. I looked up at him with shock in my eyes. To be fair, that shirt was flimsy, to begin with. I was more worried about leaving my chest so exposed as we left the party. 

“Oh, I’ll give you my sweater,” Spencer muttered before attacking my neck and then down to my collarbones, and over my breasts. I gasped as he wrapped his lips around a nipple.

“Mmm, Daddy,” I whimpered as I shifted under him. I brought my hands back up to his hair, tangling my fingers in the hairs on his neck. When he sensed that I was growing restless (even though he just started), he quickly left wet kisses down the rest of my body

“I like the way that sounds coming from your mouth,” he whispered once he was in between my legs. I looked down at him just as he looked up at me. “Good on your end for wearing such a short skirt,” he smiled before pressing his lips to my inner thigh. A shaky breath tumbled from my lips as I looked at him. “Makes for easier access,” he added before going higher up on my leg.

“You’re not going fast enough,” I whined as he just kept kissing, or licking, or rubbing my inner thighs. It was honestly getting annoying. I kind of felt bad for him. Considering I’ve already cum once, and I got him close but didn’t let him finish. 

“I’m not going fast enough?” Spencer looked up at me. I shot him a scowl as I shifted slightly on the bed. Spencer looked back down the apex of my legs before looping two fingers around the band of my underwear. As soon as I lifted my hips, he pulled my underwear off my body and chucked them to the ground beside the bed. “How’s this for fast enough,” he muttered, mostly to himself, before licking between my folds. A breath of air got caught in my lungs as my hands found their way to his hair, my fingers getting knotted up in his roots. 

“Mhm, Spencer,” I gasped, rolling my hips up at him. He hummed, sending vibrations straight to my core. My legs wrapped around him, my heels digging into his back as my own back arched. 

“Ohh, Daddy, please don’t stop,” I cried, pressing my head into the pillow beneath my head. My fingers pulled hard on his hair, pulling him closer to me. He hummed again as he pushed two fingers back into my entrance. My grip in his hair tightened, and I could feel my grip wanting to loosen. 

My breathing picked up as a familiar feeling grew in my stomach. And all I could say was his name, and the suddenly loved nickname I had for him. He seemed to appreciate my reaction too, because he worked faster. Messy and wet sounds, mixed with my breathy moans and calls of his name filled the room, and my end was near. 

“Fuck,” I shouted as I finally came undone. I could sense if I didn’t pull him away, he’d keep going, and going till I couldn’t take it anymore. And, honestly, that sounds great, but I think that’s for next time. I wanted him in me now. “Spencer, Spencer,” I cried as I tried to pull his head away, but failed so hard.

“Nuh huh,” he hummed, looking up at me. I took a deep breath and pressed my head into the pillow beneath me and threw an arm over my face. “Please, Spencer,” I cried as I bucked my hips at him, “Fuck me, please, fuck me, Daddy,” I moaned. He was going faster than before and was clearly trying to work me to the end faster too. It was hard to breathe, and speak because my words would just get stuck in my throat.  

Although, when I did cum, again, for the third time tonight, Spencer did move away from my legs. He knelt between them, wiping his chin with the back of his hand. My body was shaking lightly as I tried to come down from my high.

“Please,” I whispered, lifting a hand up, trying to reach for his tie. He looked down at me with a smile and raised an eyebrow.

“Please what?”

“Please, Daddy,” I furrowed my eyebrows as I spoke. I could feel my voice becoming a little whiney. Spencer moved so he was hovering over me, his fingers gently brushing hair away from my face.

“Tell me what you want, Princess,” he whispered cupping my face in his hand. I looked up at his face, admiring his lips, and eyes, and nose, and the way his lips had a sheen from when he licked them clean and whatever was leftover from when he was eating me out. 

“Please fuck me, Daddy,” I begged, begged. Spencer smiled before pressing his lips to mine for a moment. He sat up away from me to remove his sweater and shirt. My head was spinning from excitement, I didn’t even notice that he was totally undressed.

Spencer was back between my legs, looking down at me like I truly belonged right here. Or, like I was his to fuck with. Either way it was a good feeling. 

“Ready?” He asked, his voice so low that I could hardly hear it over the bass of the loud music. I rapidly nodded my head, worried my answer was the wrong one. But it wasn’t. I desperately wanted this. Needed. I needed this. 

Spencer hovered over me before putting an opened mouth kiss on my lips. I could hardly breathe as he rubbed the tip of his cock against my clit and entrance. I could feel a moan getting caught in the middle of my throat, my body not being about to handle anymore teasing. Until, he very slowly pushed into me.

“Oh, good girl,” he repeated. Those two words, constantly coming off his tongue. Making me feel good. The praise that I hadn’t heard in such a long time, that I longed for. Part of me wondered if he knew I wanted it. “Has someone not been taking care of you?” he asked, looking down at me. I stared at him, not trusting my own voice. My mind was too distracted with the way I felt, light and airy but at the same time full. So I shook my head.

“No, Daddy,” I whimpered and kept shaking my head. Spencer smiled before pressing his lips to mine. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you now. I’ll take care of you,” he mumbled before moving his hips. It took him a moment to get a perfect rhythm. He lips attached to different spots on my neck, leaving hickies in his wake.

“Spencer,” I whispered as I moved my head closer to my shoulder to let him have more space.

“You feel so good,” he grunted as he moved his hips so he was deeper in me, “You feel so good, and you’re all mine,” he pressed his forehead to mine as he wrapped his arms around my lower back, pulling me closer up to him. My breathing got deep, my chest heaving with each breath I took. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down, closer to my face. 

“Oh, be quiet,” I whispered before putting my lips on his. He smiled before passing his tongue between my lips. A moan fell from my lips, which he seemed to enjoy… Considering it was probably just music to his ears. 

“I’ll only be quiet if you keep making those little noises,” he muttered against my lips. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He smiled again as I knotted my fingers in the hair on the back of his head. 

“Faster,” I breathed out, keeping my eyes on him. Spencer laughed lightly as he picked up the speed. My hips bucked with his, meeting at the right points. “Please,” I whimpered as I threw my head back more into the pillow. He pulled his arm away from my back and brought his hand between our legs, where we met. 

“It’s okay, Little Girl,” Spencer whispered before pressing his lips to the side of my face. I let out a shaky breah and arched my body into his. I couldn’t believe how good I felt. I almost wasn’t sure if it was fair that my professor was better in bed than other men my age. He was more experienced, to be fair. “You can finish, it’s okay,” he kept his voice low. It almost sounded like he was giving me permission.

I nodded my head, breathing heavily through my nose. “Mmm, Spencer,” I moaned, loudy, as my walls fluttered around him and my release came. And a few moments later, Spencer thrusted deep into me with a grunt, filling me with his essence. His body collapsed on top of me whence he finished.

“Fuck,” I muttered, my fingers still tangled in his hair. My limbs were sore and shaking slightly from the rough movements. Spencer laughed lightly, agreeing with my statement. “We can’t sleep here,” I whispered, keeping my eyes on the ceiling above us. I wished we could just sleep here, mostly because I was exhausted after everything we did.

“I know,” Spencer replied as he slowly moved off and away from me. I looked up at him with wide eyes. “You’re messy now,” he muttered as he basically tumbled off the bed. I quickly sat up, just to make sure he was okay. Although I was happy he was okay, I quickly regretted moving as fast as I did. 

“Your sweater,” I mumbled, reaching out towards where his sweater was lying. He looked down at it before picking it up to hand to me. He also grabbed a fistful of tissues and moved to between my legs, again. “Just give me your boxers,” I looked at him as he wiped the insides of my thighs clean. He looked back up at me, still cleaning my legs. 

“I’ll give you a ride home,” he spoke as he tossed the dirty tissues to the trash. He grabbed his slacks and boxers, tossing me his boxers. I slipped them on under my skirt, and then slipped his sweater on. 

“I’d hope so,” I whispered as I stood up. My body wobbled for a second, nearly falling over, before I caught my balance. Spencer looked back at me, looking at how fucked I looked. I mean, I probably looked about the same as him. 

“I’d given you a ride home either way,” he said as he redressed. I looked at him with confusion on my face. Either way? So even if we hadn’t had sex, he would have given me a ride. I asked him and he said yes. So I would hope he’d given me a ride, even if we didn’t fuck.

Once we were both ready to leave this stupid party, that I didn’t even enjoy (well, I did, I was just in a different world), or was even invited to, we walked out. It was as easy as pie. And, since no one really knew either of us were here, I won’t be known as the girl who fucked the professor.

The drive home was quiet. Like, even quieter than the drive here. He didn’t even have the music playing. I wondered if it was my fault, if he was regretting what we had done. If I had known he’d be so regretful, I wouldn’t have wanted to fuck him. But, I guess its too late now. 

When I looked out the window, I realized we were parked outside my apartment building. I looked down at my attire and looked back at Spencer.

“Thanks… Thanks for the ride… And thanks for the sweater. I’ll be sure to give it back to you… Eventually,” I looked up at Spencer as I pulled the door open to leave.

“See you Thursday,” he nodded at me. I looked at him before slamming the door shut. I scoffed before turning to walk up to my home. I couldn’t want to sleep.

{***}{***}{***}

Two weeks. Two weeks since Spencer and I fucked. Okay, not too bad. I don’t regret it, and I’m not afraid to say that. However, I think he might be regretting it. Considering he’d been nothing but ignoring me since the night of the par-Well, I wouldn’t say ignoring me since then. He did fuck me in his office the following Thursday. But, it’s still been two weeks since he last said anything to me. Fuck, I’ve never been so mad.

“Good morning, Professor Reid,” I looked at him as I skipped into his lecture hall. I heard his words begin to greet me back, but fail when he saw what I was wearing. “Best get to my seat. Excited for today’s lesson,” I readjusted the cardigan that hung off my shoulders before turning to go to my seat. 

I could feel his eyes burning into the back of my skull as I walked away from him. Or, was he staring at my ass. Most likely my ass. It was my ass he was staring at. I was wearing a fairly short skirt, so that’s on me. But, I’d do anything to get his attention today. And it would appear I have gotten it. 

His lesson wasn’t actually anything important. It was just revision for the test coming up soon. But, it was obvious he had other things on his mind, and I was very clearly one of them. It was honestly a little distracting if I’m going to be honest.

So, I was happy when he called the end of class 5 minutes early. Although that excitement was gone the second he called my name to the front to talk. I looked at the ground as I stood by his desk, waiting for the very last person to leave so Spencer and I could have our moment alone.

“What are you doing wearing that?” Spencer asked as soon as it was just us. I tried to ignore the fact that he was trying to take the sweater off me, and made my shoulders drop.

“What? This old thing?” I asked, pulling the cardigan that he let me wear around my body. I looked back at him and smiled. He was not smiling. “You gave it to me,” I scoffed, letting him take it off me without a fight. I watched as he folded it over the back of the chair before turning to face me. 

“I gave it to you so your,” his words began to get jumbled up as he gestured to my boobs, “So you weren’t exposed in front of any-”

“So no one would see what belonged to you?” I asked, folding my arms over my chest. Spencer looked down at me, a flabbergasted look on his face. I smiled and cocked my head to my shoulder.

“I… I never said that,” Spencer shook his head.

“Yeah, but you thought it,” I scoffed and rolled my eyes. Spencer looked down at me. I could tell that he was trying to be the one in charge, kinda like how he was the other night. But it was so, so clear that he couldn’t be in charge. That he wouldn’t be in charge now. That this was just embarrassing to him. Maybe that’s just how our dynamic would work. Out in public, I was the loud one, the one who made everyone think that I was in charge in the bedroom. And, Spencer, in public, was the quiet, shy, nervous one, who was clearly submissive in bed. But in actuality, he was telling me what to do, when and when I can’t cum.

 “Why were you wearing that?” he asked again, his voice pulling me from my very dirty thoughts. I looked up at him and smiled.

“Because you were ignoring me! I needed to get your attention somehow! And then I remembered I still had that,” I smiled at him. I wished I still had his sweater on, because it was actually quite cozy and warm. The look he gave me made me drop my shoulders, suddenly feeling ashamed about the current situation. So, I stared at him, feeling annoyed. More annoyed than I have over the last two weeks. “Do you regret it?” I finally asked, not really knowing if he’d be mad with my question. 

“Pardon me?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked at me. I shook my head and looked down at the ground. “It’s not that I regret it-”

“So you do,” I looked back up at him and dropped my shoulders again. Before Spencer got the chance to say anything, I cut him off, “Oh please, you loved shoving your tongue, and cock, down my throat,” I scoffed before looking at him. The expression on his face flinched slightly as he looked back at me from behind the desk. “I get to… I get to be your good, little girl, your princess for, what, a week? A day? 12 hours? Whenever the fuck you want... And I’m supposed to go back to normal life the next day? And… And pretend that nothing happened!” I stared at him and shook my head. Spencer looked over at the door and back at me. “Thinking it’ll never happen again!” I shouted. I didn’t mean to shout, honest. But I was starting to get angry. He made me feel something like I belonged to someone. And now I don’t feel like that. 

“Will you stop talking for a second,” he muttered before stepping away from me and his desk. He walked over to the door and shut it. I crossed my arms over my chest and watched as he walked back over to me. “I never said you had to pretend as if nothing happened. And I never said that I regret it,” he spoke in a harsh whisper. I looked at him with mild irritation on my face.

“It sure fucking felt like it,” I spat at him. 

“You’re all I think about… Christ, I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you that. I never said you had to forget everything… Because I’ve been having a hard time forgetting it myself.” He looked up at me. I almost refused to look at him, but his voice was so soft that I had to look at him. “I never expected you to forget,” he added. 

“Then why are you acting like it didn’t happen,” I stared at him before swallowing roughly, “You made me feel like I was wanted, that I belonged somewhere, with someone,” I spoke as I stepped closer to him. It was only a little bit closer to him, not as much as I wanted. But he stepped closer to me, making it so we were the closest we had been all day, in one large step. "You remind me of home," I added in a whisper. Spencer smiled and cocked his head to his shoulder.

“You do belong somewhere,” he whispered, resting his hands on my shoulders. I looked up at him, feeling my heart pick up speed, and butterflies appear in my tummy. “And that somewhere is with me,” he brought at hand to my cheek, allowing his thumb to rest on my lower lip. I looked up at him before he pressed his lips to mine. 

I was honestly expecting him to say something else. I don’t know what. But I liked what he said, it made me feel really good. Like, I belonged with him, and nothing could change that.

taglist: @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto​, @thebluetint​

[juanitasupreme]

Top 30 title tracks 2021 : 1-15

Nakka by Akmu & IU: now that was real music. The production, the voices, the concept! That's some professional shit!

Tail by Sunmi: song, concept, the fucking choreo, no one is touching miss ma'am Sunmi. Also I watched all the stages a big indicator of how good it is to moi.

0x1=Lovesong by TXT: best 4th boy group.

Summer or Summer by Hyolyn and Dasom: they said "y'all wanted Summer uh?", then dropped one of the best song for this year. It was also a redemption arc for Dasom (but im actually convinced that Hyolyn can make everyone song good, it's how powerful she is).

Weekend by Taeyeon: got doja cat's producers mad. Good plagiarism should be applauded (Sober by Suzy I'm looking at you too)

Siesta by Weki Meki: Fantiago can't give them money for clothes nor a good mv but they will always give the girls excellent music.

Lilac By IU: not everyone can be exploited since the sweet age of 15 years old and continue to deliver quality. Some people who lack quality cannot fathom her greatness and it's sad for them.

Alcohol Free by Twice: CHAMPAGNE NAE WINE NAE TEQUILA MARGARITA MOJITO WITH LIME SWEET MIMOSA PINA COLADA

Tear Drop by Sf9: sexy music for hot people

Love So Sweet by Cherry Bullet : when you drop a song on the Chosen One birthday (moi) nothing can go wrong

Dun Dun Dance by Oh My Girl: I didn't even listen to them since the Queendom curse affected them but I knew from hearing this song from afar alone that it was a HIT.

Bambi by Baekhyun: I'm a proud Baekhyun hater but I recognise talent

Don't Call Me by Shinee: I promise to tell the truth and nothing but the truth. And the tea is that it's bomb. Yes you might not get it the firsts listen but when you get wow a whole new world. To think I compared it to a nct song when we know how most of nct's title sounded this year (not to name Sticker).

Next Level by Aespa: it's a hit yup. And you know what? I think that Aespa is a great cover band. Next Level and Dreams Come True all great. Why so ? It's not theirs originally. Sooman needs to exploit their nepotism better and not have them put out something like Savage ever again.

After we ride by Brave Girls: I cried, I prayed, I had an epiphany

[clavis-baby]

Songs that You would listen to After a Breakup with The Brothers

(Lucifer,Mammon,Satan,Asmo)

I’m so sorry I was listening to reckless and it made me feel something (also I’ve never dated anyone sooo shhh)

Also I tried to add at least 3/4 to every brother but I realized they all had a Olivia Rodrigo song so sorry about that also I tried not cross over the same songs 😅

Also Spotify Playlist!!!

————-

Lucifer

enough for you - Olivia Rodrigo

Okay so first Olivia track honestly I know we all cried to her whole album don’t deny it but essentially I felt that with the lyrics I wore makeup when we dated“'Cause I thought you'd like me more If I looked like the other prom queens” and “Tried so hard to be everything that you liked” I feel like Lucifer would expect that his lover to be perfect honestly this song really would work well with both of Satan and Lucifer so deciding between them was pretty hard but the pushing point for me to put this with Lucifer was the lyric “But I don't think anything could ever be enough”

Without me - Halsey

(Ugh I love Halsey so much and her baby soon!!!) Anyway!! For Lucifer I really think that his pride would’ve gotten in the way of all of his relationships he’s ever had but “Feeling so high but too far away to hold me You know I'm the one who put you up there Name in the sky Does it ever get lonely?” Just screams Lucifer and how the chorus keeps on saying “I said I'd catch you if you fall” ahh perfect (could also work for Asmo)

I knew you were trouble - Taylor Swift

Won’t lie but embarrassed that I choose this song but it works for Lucifer sooo whatever but the chorus really is a fairly good start I feel like anyone who has a brain (even tho MC really doesn’t) dating Lucifer wouldn’t be particularly 100% safe but whatever he’s most people’s favorites again I used to love this song but don’t anymore so when I looked up songs about break ups (yes I did that) and Trouble came up I relistened and with these lyrics I had to include it No apologies “He'll never see you cry Pretends he doesn't know That he's the reason why”

Let Me down Slowly - Alec Benjamin

Now if this was a cheating thing and he did cheat this would be like the absolute BEST SONG!! But tbh this is a pretty good song for any breakup I feel like…OH WELL! :) the first lyric FIRST LYRIC “This night is cold in the kingdom” I felt represented his pride idk how to explain but idk T-T I can explain the rest tho >~< “I once was a man with dignity and grace Now I'm slippin' through the cracks of your cold embrace” once again pride but with “Could you find a way to let me down slowly? A little sympathy, I hope you can show me” I really hc that almost with all the boys but especially with Lucifer they just would not care about cheating after they maybe got a rush would leave you instantly once that “rush” is/was gone

Mammon

(I’m a sucker for him im sorry I put all the most emotional songs with him)

Reckless - Madison Beer

This was the song that inspired this whole post!! (Sadly, it made me feel things) But this song really could be used for Belphie and maybe a hint of Asmo but Mammon was the first person I thought about when listening to this song so it’s mammon. Mammon I just feel like behind all the tunsdere act he really promises us so much like obviously the protection but Reckless just show us within the lyrics “I still have the letter you wrote When you told me that I was the only girl You'd ever want in your life” and even this lyric with his whole first man thing and even him asking us to come to him for protection “You might love her now, but you loved me first Said you'd never hurt me, but here we are” it just is so good 😭

Love me or leave me - little mix

So if you even skim through these Mammon songs and know about my posts I love him so much so even though what I said in Lucifers part about them not caring about cheating and stuff I feel like Mammon might care just because of how much he promises things also I read a lot of fanfics with what I just said “And you're turning away like you hate me Do you hate me? Do you hate me? Oh” tbh because of this lyric I did think for a moment to use this song for Satan but Uhhh this is really emotional song and I love my bby “Do you remember when you loved me once What happened? What happened? And you'd hold me here just because” LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME HERE!!!

Be Alright - Dean Lewis

This song I feel like was a bit more for me sooo yeah also remember what I said about how I hc that almost with all the boys that they just would not care about cheating after they maybe got a rush with you they would leave you instantly once that “rush” is/was gone wel I sort of want to believe mammon wouldn’t and his greed gets in the way (who am I kidding I’m just making excuses for my baby) but I’m going to continue on what I just said because Umm well I can do uh “You start to tremble and your voice begins to break You say the cigarettes on the counter weren't your friend's They were my mate's”

(I couldn’t find anymore songs that I felt that would fit him 😭)

Asmo

Ex best friend - Machine gun Kelly

When I was writing this originally there was going to be like 4 parts of all the characters but then once I realized how many songs and I couldn’t think of any for others and how I wanted to add an explanation I gave up on that but originally it was going to also be cheating songs, fall outs, then just aftermaths of breakup songs which to be honest this song really could fit with the after math and cheating songs I feel like Asmo and his SO are more likely a not able to quit each other sort of thing “We're both drunk on the elevator When I kissed you for the first time in New York City, uh” and even near the end of the first season the only little part we sort of get from character development from Asmo when we was drunk explains what he was sort of saying “I swear to God, I never fall in love Then you showed up, and I can't get enough of it I swear to God, I never fall in love I never fall in love, but I can't get enough of it First off, I'm not sorry I won't apologize to nobody You play like I'm invisible Girl, don't act like you ain't saw me” personally I do think that inside Asmo might be insecure and a bit sensitive on the inside but I could be wrong

When the party’s over - Billie Eilish

Wow I have the lyrics up and I just realized this 3 minute song has barley lyrics but the song still fits Asmo so.

traitor - Olivia Rodrio

Even tho that all these songs were on cheating I tend to hc that Asmo isn’t a huge fan of solo partnership because of the title avatar of lust so I feel like in maybe the beginning of a relationship he would promise to you that he would be there for you but would maybe end up not staying true to his words I forgot who but someone else explained why they don’t believe that Asmo wouldn’t be able to go with out having a Polly relationship

——-

I’ve had this in my drafts for so long and wanted to post this but at this point I’ve just can’t add anymore so this is my lazy part

Boys like you - Anna Clendening

Satan

Again I’m lazy rn but I wanted Satans part to show just pure madness and anger but also as time progress just sadness for Satans pure side also anything that had to do with books or a story I added for u know Satan loving books

I’m not mad - Halsey

Moral of the story - Ashe

Blue - Madison Beer

[theshoddypenmen]

2021 spring season anime spotlight: Shadows house

Being an avid anime fan, it is always safe to assume the following: things that are different and unique will always be looked upon in a positive light. After consuming as much Anime and manga content as I have, anything that makes me say to myself "I haven't seen this before", while still being abled to enjoy it makes any series worth noting. Combine all that with enchanting dark music and beautiful gothic scenes and undertones and you have the makings of A real quality project. Shadow house manages to provide us with all of the previous as well as a story so far that is as compelling as any show premiering this season and is a welcomed addition to my fandom archive Premise and plot so far Shadow house is centered around the concept of a royal family of shadow beings that are made of soot (gosh I love anime). The family seems to similar to a European nobility. The family resides in a massive estate with A large castle at its center. The shadow family is Served by its Army of very human looking " living dolls." The doll primary functions are to clean the enormous estate and generally be of service to there masters. Each living doll is initially assigned to a member of the family as their personal servant. The dolls job being to serve as the personal facial expression tool of their individual masters, since the shadows  do not have faces of their own. The story follows A newly activated living doll named Emilico. Emilico being a new doll must learn what it means to be a doll in the service of the members of the shadows family. Learning the proper ways to clean after there masters, as well as understanding the importance of being the emotional visual conduit for there specific charge. Eventually we come to understand that just like in real life nobilities, there is a interfamily rivalry taking place among the shadows. The viewer is taken on this journey of understanding the family political dynamic as well learning how the dolls work, how they are created and most importantly, what is the true purpose of these human like machines. Characters Shadows house introduces A wide variety of characters relatively quickly. There are many members of the shadow family that are living on the estate and even more living dolls serving them. The audience is introduced to several of the apparently young shadow family members and their personal corresponding living doll. The relationship between the shadow and doll seems to be a close intimate one, where the dolls primary job is to serve as the face of their shadow master. The dolls must act out the emotions and expressions of their shadow master, mimicking their masters poses as well. The relationships in the show are unique to each set of shadow and servant. while most dolls are totally sub servant to their master, the way each combination interacts is different. Some shadow masters are strict with their dolls, punishing and scolding them when they make the slightest misstep, other masters are lenient and try to teach their dolls gently to better serve them. There are masters who are open to there shadows inner thoughts and feelings, even to go as far to value the input and advice of their servant. while other masters only view their dolls as the personal loyal servant and value nothing from their doll other than complete obedience and fealty. The variety of characters and relationships are fun and a good way to make the story diverse. Music and visuals You just have to love a show that has style, and its probably safe to say that Shadow houses best trait is how stylish it is. The music in an anime is critical to an show at all levels. Whether its A suspenseful score playing underneath A pulse pounding scene, or the ending song to groove out to at the end, the music of the show is a big part of enjoyable it is. Shadows house is spot on with all of its sound selections. My personal favorite are the scores that play underneath some of the inner thought monologues of Kate (the protagonist shadow master) The combination of her voice and the track really enchants the audience and actually helps you focus on what she's saying and internalize it better. great Intro helps draw in and entice the audience right away, as well as sets the tone for the dark, mysterious, clandestine tale about to be told. Doing a good job of drawing in the audience, the  visuals for the opening are stylish and do a good job of showing how cool the shadows are in this show, as well as making you curious about elements in the story. The designs on all the characters and their  outfits are cool. the scenery and backgrounds in the scenes  are beautiful and immerse the viewer really well. Both ending and opening visuals are gorgeous and make them worth sticking around for every episode. I highly recommend this title from this spring season. Seems like a fun wholesome title to pick up. Im sure the manga is probably breathe takingly gorgeous and i am going to pick up this series when this anime finishes this season. Great work by Cloverworks studio this season ( even though im mad at you still about what happened with the end of promised neverland but....) and i hope anime fans pick up this title. Solid, interesting creative piece that i hope going forward we support titles like this.

[tinyhwng]

all at once

request? yes (anon)

pairing: idol!bang chan x reader

t/w: none 

genre: fluff + very slight angst

word count: 2,913 (got a little carried away)

a/n: okkkkkk i’ve been out of this game for sooo long so im sorry if this isn’t the best but i tried! anyways, ending this was a little challenging but i hope it still ties everything nicely :) enjoy! 

summary: seeing you again, he realized that somehow, the feelings he tried to escape once seemed to have returned slowly, but all at once and you failed to realize that their latest song was all about what he felt for you.

Last week, you had met a producer for a project and you had set up another meeting date to discuss future plans about your music. He kindly offered to meet up at his studio and you had no reason to decline which resulted in you meeting his eight other friends that you now so dearly felt attached to. But out of all of them, the one you bonded the most was Chan. He felt similar yet different. He talked about the deepest things and let himself bring comfort to your terrible days. You vented about the exhausting amount of stress that slowly tore through your resilient willpower to make it through as an artist. He comforted you through the days that made you regret where you were today and helped you bring out the emotions you kept all to yourself. He was someone that mattered a lot to you. A best friend anyone would be so lucky to have.

But things started going south.

You noticed the lack of attention he gave you and you thought that maybe, he was just busy and you tried to understand that. Yet as things went on, his lack of time became even more obvious. He would go out of his way to avoid you, not attend the meetings that involved you and from then, you saw him less and less. You tried calling him but the only response you would receive is his voice telling you to leave a voicemail. You asked the other boys if something had been bothering Chan but all the answer they could give you was that he was "busy". Bullshit. You didn't know what you had done wrong and that was enough to anger you. You wanted to apologize but he wouldn't even face you. 

Nothing seemed right. If he was going through something, you wondered why he wouldn't even bother telling you. It wasn't until you bumped into him at a nearby coffee shop that you finally had a chance to talk to him.

"Chan!" You called out for the boy.

Almost jumping, he turned around to face you. His face almost mortified. "H-Hey."

"Can we talk?" You peeked under his hat, his eyes barely visible to you. "Please?"

You both sit at a table as the atmosphere filled with tension grew. 

"What are you working on?" Your eyes glance at his laptop which he's been typing on ever since you had gotten there.

"Producing stuff." He answered, quickly but softly.

"Oh, for who?" You were beating around the bush, feeling slightly terrified of what he may say if you ask him what's been bothering you.

"No one yet. Just for future references." 

"Chan-"

His eyes freeze at the screen.

"Are you mad at me?"

His eyes quickly shoot back at you, confused at first but realized that you might've felt that way with the way he's been acting around you. "What? No"

"Then why are you ignoring me?"

"I'm not ignoring yo-"

"Stop it. Stop lying." You look down, frustrated that none of your answers were answered. "It's been weeks Chan. We wouldn't have talked if I never bumped into you here."

"I'm just busy Y/N." His voice became softer, wanting to comfort you. He knew you felt frustrated but he did too.

"Could've you at least have told me that? So then maybe I wouldn't be spending days and nights thinking of what I did so wrong that you don't even bother to look for me." Your voice trembled. It wasn't the first time he'd seen you this vulnerable but it was definitely the first time that he was the reason you looked like that. 

‘’I know, and I'm sorry. I-I really should've told you but with all the stress... I- don't know. I lost track y/n" You could hear the sincerity from his voice and although you were supposed to be mad at him at that moment, you couldn't help acknowledge his words. "And y/n, I really wasn't mad at you. I promise. It's just-

"Just what?" 

"Nothing. I don't think it's the right time to tell you that right now."

"Why would it not be the right time? Are you leaving or something?"

"No- it's not that. I'll tell you soon, I promise."

You nod at his response, not knowing what to expect but somehow, his words eased you that truly, there was nothing to be worried about. You felt relieved that you now know that you had done nothing wrong.

The two of you parted ways shortly after he received a call from his manager. It was a short meeting but it meant a lot and very much answered the questions you've been wondering about.

A week after your last meeting, you decided to visit the studio to visit the boys. It was a spare time in your schedule so you decided to surprise them. You entered the studio and immediately counted the heads where you noticed that one of them was missing. "Hi, guys." You greeted, lifting the box of chicken with both of your hands that you brought. They immediately ran to you, with incoherent thank yous and we missed yous.

"Where's Chan?" Your eyes continued to wander the room, wondering if he was somewhere you had just missed. 

“Not here." the youngest said with Chicken occupying his mouth. "Why?"

"Well, I just thought he'd be with you guys."

"Studio. His studio." Jisung ran up to you, with chicken in his hands and offered it. "Eat with us, y/n."

You nicely declined as you had eaten prior to coming there. "Where's the studio?"

"Down the hall, to the left" Seungmin responded. "He's been there for hours so I don't think he'll mind company."

"Thank you." You made your way out of the room, with a cup of hot chocolate for Chan and a cup of coffee for yourself. You soon made it down the hall, facing your left as you inhaled in before knocking.

The door slowly creaked open with barefaced Chan staring back at you. "Ahh--- Y/N what the heck." His face looked flustered, his ears quickly turning red as you giggled your way in.

"Let me in Chan, please." You cautiously laughed, not wanting to spill the drinks you had been holding.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming... I look terrible right now." 

"You literally look the same but go off."

"Ouch." Chan teased, his hands still covering half his face.

"No- I mean you look good still." You blurted out. "Anyways- How's it going?"

You and Chan exchange greetings and he lets you listen to bits of the songs he's been working on.

"Wow Chan, it sounds so good."  You stare at his computer in awe. You pulled out a chair and sat beside him as you began skimming through his other songs. "Ugh, why are you talented. This isn't fair." You muttered, with your eyes fixed on the screen.

You weren't looking but Chan was too distracted to even respond to what you were saying. His eyes fixed on you as you listened to the songs he's worked so hard on. He loved it when people listened to the things he created but somehow, it was different with you. The look you have that just got his heart beating faster than usual. The way you compliment his skills like he was the only one capable of doing it. Anything you did just felt so special to him and lately, you were the one that had been going through his mind as he produced songs. Butterflies were definitely an understatement.

As you skimmed through his neverending folder of songs he's never put out, you stumbled upon one called the moon behind the stars. You played it, not knowing what it was. As the melody played, your heart eased into it. Somehow, you wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. It was so beautifully made that you had lost track of where you were but something was missing. The lyrics.

"Chan, wheres the lyrics for this one. It's too good to not have one." You asked, turning your attention towards him.

"There isn't any-" A slight panic in his tone made you even more curious. "It's unfinished."

"It was created almost two years ago though. Something like this should be out there Chan, I'm telling you. It's beautiful."

"I know but it doesn't really fit into any of our album themes yet." He scratched his head.

"Why not?"

"It's a love song, y/n."

"Oh-" Your face looked back to the computer in shock, repeating the song again. "What is it about though?"

"It's cheesy-" he replied, cupping his own cheeks as he whined.

"Oh please. Cheesy is literally MY genre." You laughed.

He sighed, "okay then." You made yourself comfortable as you stared at him, waiting for him to tell you all about it. "Well first, the title "the moon behind the stars" means two things. First, it illustrates how a person is too scared to admit that they're in love but still wants to have a good front towards the other person they're trying to distance themselves from, thus, "the moon behind the stars. Second, it's about the moon representing the one you have feelings for. Even with all the stars, shining and being pretty, somehow, it's always the moon that catches your eye. Almost like, 'there's plenty of fish in the sea but you're the only one I see.' and it has a melodic piece because even though you see them all the time, it's almost impossible to actually be with them. The space between the world and the moon represents the other person's fear and anxiety towards losing the other person. I say it's a love song but it could pretty much pass as a sad song at this point." Chan giggled. "Well- that's kind of all I have for that."

You listened, wonderstruck and speechless at his explanation. "H-How did you even come up with this? All this time I thought you were just an angsty teen who wants to overthrow the government but I guess I'm wrong."

He loudly laughed. "I don't know either."

‘’Unless... it's through experience." You teased, pinching his sides.

"Wha- no. It's not like that. I was just messing around, really." He explained but with the most unconvincing tone.

You definitely didn't buy it. "Who was it Channie. Tell me."

Channie... it had been a while since you had called him that. He's been trying to stay away from you so he could sort his feelings out. He wanted to get over you, fearing that maybe wanting you more than as a friend could put your friendship at risk. But as soon as you muttered his nickname Channie again, his feelings for you came back, slowly and all at once. It hit him as he saw you giggle as you teased him. He sat there with a rapidly beating heart, admitting that maybe, his feelings were never gone. He looked away, feeling his mouth dry out. The love of his life was in front of him and fear was the only thing that kept him from telling you so. He shyly stuffed himself behind his hands, knowing he had been blushing the whole time.

"Chan- are you okay?" You stopped yourself in the middle of laughing with a concerned look in your face. You placed a hand on his back, not knowing why he was suddenly like that.

"I'm okay." He said behind his hands. His voice was soft, but you could tell he was smiling.

"Are you shy? Did me asking who it was made you that shy?" You teased. "They must've been special, Chris."

His heart was about to explode. You calling him Chris was probably his greatest weakness and although he hears that a lot, hearing it from you made it sound so special. If you could just say it once more, he would definitely combust.

"Chan your ears are red, oh my god. Are you okay?" 

He sat upright, collecting himself after almost losing himself. "Yes, I'm okay." He smiled, breathing heavily. 

"I'm surprised you never told her about this." You muttered, repeating the song once more. "Probably would've loved it."

"I doubt that."

"What do you mean? Every girl I know that trained under this building during that time had the biggest crush on you."

"Yeah, right." He turned to you. "Did you?"

"Of course. I told you, Chan. Every single girl did."

His face froze at your upfront answer. Stuttering as he tried to go back to the conversation.

"Are you that surprised that I liked you? I thought it was pretty obvious back then."

"Wha-"

"So you didn't think of anything when I was always using the same studio you guys were using? Are you kidding?" You laughed.

"No..."

"I literally came to your busking event when I had an evaluation half an hour after that." Tears were almost coming out of your eyes as you laughed out loud.

"Oh my god, y/n"

“I know. I was pathetic."

"This whole time... I thought you liked Hyunjin."

"What the fuck- Chris are you kidding? Please say sike."

"I'm not. I literally thought-"

“Hyunjin's my family friend oh my god. He's literally like a cousin to me."

Chan covered his open mouth with his hand, shocked at what he was hearing. ”Oh my god, y/n"

"You're stupid." You teased, slapping his arm. "I did so much and you didn't even notice shit. This is peak embarrassing, Chan."

"I- I'm sorry." he teased.

"The hot chocolate I brought after the JYP stage, the-"

"The hot chocolate? Didn't you give everybody one."

You facepalmed at his response. "I- I gave everybody a cup of coffee dumbass. I knew you didn't like coffee so I specifically ordered hot chocolate just for you."

He went speechless, feeling bad that he looked over your effort back then.

You sighed, "whatever, it's okay. It's over now." 

Suddenly, Chan wanted to confess something. "Actually, y/n."

"Hm?"

"That song," he pointed at his computer. "It's about you."

You stared at him for a while, not comprehending his words. "Sorry?"

"It's about you. You're the moon behind the stars."

"Huh?" You hurriedly repeated the song. 

Chan shyly muttered but it was too incoherent for you to understand, "Sorry can you say that again."

"I- It's actually finished," he confessed. "But it's context is different but I kept the melody and everything."

"What- how?"

He took the mouse from your hand and searched through his folder. Neverending Story.

"Here it is." 

"Wait- Chan. This is released though?"

"Yeah, I know. It's uhh, about you." he voice was soft, almost too quiet to hear.

"It's finally admitting my feelings and that however things might turn between us, I won't ever let go as a person that deeply cares for you and that however long I might have to wait, it's okay because, in the end, my feelings for you just don't ever seem to go away." 

You stuttered in response, not knowing how to take this all in. You've liked him then and you've always felt the same since. 

"Chan- this is beautiful. I don't know what to say."

"It's okay. You don't have to."

"Is this why you have been ignoring me?"

"Kind of. I put out this song with everything I've always wanted to tell you and it was really hard to face you. I know you didn't feel the same but I wanted to at least tell you what I've felt. I was wondering that maybe putting out this song and ignoring for you a bit would make everything go away and let me accept how things are between us now but I realized that somehow, my feelings never left. Every time I'd see you, my heart beats a special type of way and always makes me think that maybe, the moon might not be that impossible to reach." 

You could see him tremble as he explained everything to you. You reach out, holding his hand. "Thank you, Chris. This song is beautiful and so is the message. I'm sorry if I made you think that I would never reciprocate your feelings-"

"y/n, you don't have to-"

You cut him off. "The truth is that, after all this time, I really do still like you. More than before, and I feared that I would get in the way of your dreams. I wanted to be your support still which is why I stayed behind all this time. You have been there through my worst and my successful times. You made me the artist that I am today and you let me stay as the person I am around you. Chris, I don't know where this will take us but I hope you know I still really do like you a lot."

Chan took hold of your hand and sobbed as he held them close. "Thank you, y/n. Thank you so much."