#but the thing is my appts are usually super quick | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mariska · 19 days ago

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hi friends. mainly making this post on here in case my friends have noticed me absent socially from pretty much all my main interactions social media places cus i have very very little to no social skills/energy and i dont want folks worrying about my inability to talk like at all lately even through text instead of voice.

a few days ago my grandpa passed away after a brief amount of time in hospice care with mainly my moms looking after him in shifts. he was in his 90's so it was somewhat expected but it still happened really quick in the grand scheme of things and i'm not coping well at all with it, especially because i was too scared of visiting him these past couple months for multiple reasons having to do with me being immunocompromised more so than usual on a new hormone med i've been taking, my severe agoraphobia, and to be completely honest, i could not bear to see him in a slow state of death because i knew the image would never leave my head.

we were always really close. he was on my non-biological side of my family (i have 2 moms and was born via known donor father so im only genetically related to one side of my family and they don't live in the US) but he was absolutely autistic (never formally diagnosed but fit all the criteria to a T the same way i did before getting diagnosed, like VERY similarly to me it was almost eerie in a good way), he was there when i first started learning how to swim cheering me on when i was very little visiting him and my (also deceased) grandma with my moms, he sent me custom printed birthday + christmas cards using his own scanned family photos and 90's tower computer (that he originally built on his own originally, he loved building computers especially when i was little and it was like The New Home Tech Thing, only reason my family even had a computer when i was growing up is because he custom built one for us and sent us sheets and sheets of instructions on how it all worked and how to install things and such), he gifted me my first digital art tablet in my tweens/early teens (which if you know me, digital art eventually became my main and preferred visual art medium for drawing/painting and i still use the same brand of usb plug in tablets today that the original gifted one was).

anyways. sorry for rambling it's just been. um. like very hard. trying to. get through the days. i also had an extremely re-traumatizing doctor's appointment the same day he died (my mom who took me did not tell me before the appointment and waited until after which i am genuinely so thankful for theres no way i would have been able to go to that appt if i'd had his death on my mind beforehand) and, thankfully again, the doctor i saw is a very very kind trauma-informed woman who was super patient and understanding with me, and knew the appointment would be traumatizing cus we had discussed why that would be at the previous first appointment i had with her and she did all she could on her end to help make it less stressful and scary for me, but, y'know. still brought back some very intense personal trauma that i've only really started trying to mentally process in the past few years.

so that is. a very abridged explanation as to why i have not been able to reply to most messages on here and texts and discord and such and i'm super super sorry about being so MIA. i just do not have the ability to let everyone know individually why i am disappearing in and out from plans and conversations so i'm hoping most of you will see this post here and that way i maybe won't feel as bad as i do about very much unintentionally ghosting so many of you that i truly care about very much 💔

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trauma-13 · 4 years ago

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Birth story.

I'm posting this mostly so I can remember it down the line when it's not as fresh in my mind.

On may 27th, I had my weekly OB appointment. I was 38 weeks and 2 days. I went in, peed in a cup, and waited for my appt time. I got called back shortly, and had my vitals take. My blood pressure was 128/88. Not bad, but higher than it had been, even just the day before. I honestly didn't think much of it. My provider comes in, says she wants to recheck my BP, draw labs, and schedule me for a induction once I got to 39 weeks. She was concerned because my BP was higher and I had slight protein in my urine-for those not in the medical field reading this, she was concerned I was developing pre-eclampsia which is a very serious complication of pregnancy. So the MA comes back, rechecks my pressure-136/96. I assumed it was from anxiety of now being told I may have pre-eclampsia. My provider was in another room, so the MA had me go to the lab area to start blood work while she waited for the doc to finish in the other room. My doctor walked in the room a couple minutes later and said "nevermind labs, I want you to go to Shea (my delivery hospital)" I immediately started to panic, and asked "why, am I going to be induced?" She told me she didn't know yet, but wanted me to get stat labs, and be monitor vitally and the baby monitored for a couple hours. She said depending on labs would depend if I would be induced. She told me she'd see me at Shea.

Needless to say, I was pure panic. I'm not sure how I didn't burst into tears right then, but I some how didn't. I was terrified. Being a nurse, I know the bad things that can happen, and of course that's all I was focused on. I got to my car, still not crying, and called my husband. I told him to get dressed, and grab stuff to go to Shea, that I was fine and that I would tell him everything when I got home. Still no crying. I called my mom, because well she's my mom and she was going to come and stay with our dogs when I went into labor so they weren't alone for potentially days on end. As soon as mom answered the phone, all the walls came down and I started crying. Not just normal crying, full blown, can't talk, sobbing. She, of course, panics. She knew I had an OB appt, and she assumed the worst. I finally got my self together enough to tell her "I'm fine, the baby is fine," I explained everything that was going on, and that I was heading to the hospital shortly. I talked to her the entire 6 minute car ride home, still crying, and scared. She asked me if I wanted her to come up, and I said yes. She lives 3 hrs away, so it's not like she's close. I didn't know what the next few hours of my life held, and that was terrifying.

I got home, James had grabbed all our stuff, and had made sure to get the extra last minute things too. He asked if I was okay because I'd obviously been crying, I told him physically yes, emotionally no and that I was afraid of the next few hours and the uncertainty. We took the dogs out, stopped to get gas, and headed to Shea.

We get to the hospital around 1pm or so. I told them everything my doc had said, and the tech checking me in said my doc had called ahead and let them know about me. Even more fear sets in. We get back to a room, I give them a urine sample and change into the lovely gown. My nurse comes in and does her exam and tells me the plan. We're going to draw labs, monitor me and the baby and depending on all of the results would determine our next steps. At this point I had let my mother in law, and 3 best friends know what was going on incase we did get admitted for induction.

We sat in the room for a couple hours. I was contracting basically the whole time, but they were about 20 mins apart. I asked the nurse about it, she said they were fairly strong on the monitor, but weren't close enough yet. So around 5pm or so, another nurse comes in, she says my original nurse got pulled into an emergency delivery, but that she was going to discharge me so we could go home. I was a bag of emotions at this point. I had accepted that I'd be induced and would meet our baby soon, and had gotten over the fear and now I was being discharged. I was given strict orders to go home, relax, drink lots of water and "come back in 24 hrs for repeat labs, and make sure to bring your hospital bags when you come tomorrow," to me, that meant we were being induced tomorrow. Apparently it's some insurance thing, that they couldn't induce me that day. No clue.

So we go home. My mom's at the house. I told her everything they said and the plan for the next day.

Fast forward to 4pm the next day, it was time to head back to Shea. We got all of our things together and head over. I got checked into triage and brought back to a triage room. They hooked me up to the monitors, and at that point everything looked okay. Babys strip was great, I wasn't really contracting and my BP was doing okay at 130s/80s. They drew blood and then it was a waiting game.

I had started contracting again about 45 minutes after getting to the hospital. They were strong, and painful, and about 8-10 mins apart. They were painful enough that I was having to completely stop whatever I was doing, and just focus on breathing. I was assuming it was because I was stressed because the same thing had happened the day before. Of course, my blood pressure started to go up. Nothing crazy, but it was higher, about 140s/90s. My doctor came in around 6pm and said she wanted to admit me and induce me. She was concerned that if I went into labor naturally my BP would elevate too much and cause further issues. The plan was to admit me to labor and delivery, start pitocin, do an epidural, and have a baby! My doctor said, "around 4am we'll have this baby, so try to nap and relax once you get to the other room." Shift changed happens at 7pm, so one of the triage nurses started an IV, some fluids and we waited for the night shift nurse to come on for me to go over to the other room.

Around 715-730ish my L&D nurse came over and we headed over to the other room. During the *maybe* 1 minute walk over to the other room I had to stop and just breathe because holy contractions! Again, still convinced I wasn't really in labor. We got to L&D, I sat on the bed, and my nurse started asking me all the normal questions and asked what my plan was reguarding an epidural and if I wanted to do that before or after the pitocin. I was right in the middle of a VERY strong and painful contraction, and I didn't answer her right away. After the contraction passed, she said I looked incredibly uncomfortable and asked if I was okay. I straight up just started crying and told her I was so uncomfortable, and frankly I was terrified of pitocin. James was rubbing my back, and she grabbed my hands and said "don't worry, I'll go page the anaesthesiologist right now and we'll put the epidural in before we even think about pitocin. I want you comfortable first and foremost." I tried to lay down and get as comfy as possible until the doc came in.

Around 8pm he came in, explained the whole procedure and we got it done. It was so quick, and easy and I had such immediate relief. I could finally relax!! Physically and mentally! After the epidural was in, my nurse checked me, I was 4-5cm dialated, 90% effaced and 0 station. My nurse called my doc to ask if we wanted to start pitocin or wait and see what my body did naturally, my doc wanted to start the pitocin just because my BP was still elevated at this point even with the epidural and pain relief. We started the pitocin around 830pm or so, and my water still hadnt broken at this point. The plan was for my doctor to come in at 930pm and break my water if it hadn't happened naturally at that point.

Fast forward to 945ish and my doc comes in to break my water. Weirdest feeling ever. She also put Baby J on one of the internal monitors because he kept coming off the external monitor. At that point I was 5cm, 90%, and still 0 station. My nurse helped me lay on my left side and we were going to try to nap since we were in for a long night. James had started dozing pretty quickly, and I started feeling contractions again. Crazy strong, very frequent, maybe about 1 minute apart or so. I was holding his hand and felt like I was going to break his fingers Everytime I had a contraction. I remember looking at the clock and it being around 1010 and thinking "okay if my nurse hasn't come in by 1015, I'll call her" because DAMN were those contractions painful.

Within a few minutes my nurse came in, I honestly don't know how many minutes it had been because I was busy breathing hah! She said she was going to have the doctor put in an internal contraction monitor as well because she wasn't sure that the external was super accurate. My doc comes in within a few mins, and goes to place the monitor and says "oh, oh, you're complete and we need to push now because he's practically crowning" (apparently all that pain and pressure was my body saying hey let's do this!)

Nothing was ready! We weren't planning on having a baby for another few hours so the birth cart wasn't even in the room. The nurse grabbed one really quick while my doc was putting on shoe covers, she had enough time to throw on the sterile gown and gloves before i felt like I needed to push. My nurse had barely had time to page the baby nurse!

I pushed 3x over that contraction. Definitely yelled fuck, but otherwise, I don't remember saying anything/making any noise at all. My nurse coached me how to push effectively and how to curl my body to help.

Second contraction, pushed 3 more times. The whole time James was holding my left foot and rubbing my shoulder. He was his usual quiet self, which I expect nothing else hah!

Third contraction I pushed 3 more times. At the end of the third one my doc told me to take a big breath and give one big push. So I did. And little dude was born at 1036pm!

I pushed for around 7 minutes total (per James) before our little one was born. I had to get stitches, but I don't even remember it happening. As soon as they put my son on my chest, nothing else mattered. I couldn't stop shaking, or crying. It was completely uncontrollable. I was so overwhelmed! I went from the thought of having a baby hours from now, to having a baby in my arms 7 minutes later! It happened so fast we didn't even have time to tell my mom that it was game time. The plan was to have her on FaceTime so she could help talk to me and support us even though she couldn't physically be there.

Baby J was a few minutes old and I asked James to call my mom on FaceTime. When she answered she immediately started crying once she saw the baby and heard him crying. I kept apologizing for not calling her, I felt so bad even though it's so silly! James told her I started pushing about 10 mins ago and had a baby so quickly we didn't even have time to think about anything else. Of course she wasn't upset at all.

Once I was stitched up, my nurse shut off the epidural and helped clean me up a bit. After she said she was going to step out, and give us time to ourselves with our little one, but to call if we needed her. I held my little boy and just stared at him. He was perfect! The only better thing than holding him myself, was seeing James hold him for the first time. Que crying all over again.

He was born on May 28th, 2020 at 1036pm, 6lbs 1oz, and 19 inches long. I didn't get my June baby, but he's absolute perfection and has our entire hearts. Our little one is turning 7 weeks on Thursday. I can't believe he's been here for 7 weeks already. Motherhood has been the hardest most rewarding thing I've ever done in my life.

#birth story #labor and delivery #obstetrics #pregnancy #momma hood #momma-hood #meee #JTD #motherhood

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365day2021 · 3 years ago

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Day 26

Woke up around 852 and got to work at 950. Just did tiny bit of visuals to start the day until the download. Don’t remember too much special with the download, then started off the day on mobile queue. I actually mainly took mac’s that slot, which wasn’t too bad I learned how to depot macs which was cool. I did two of those and one of them was just a upgrade because the guy spilled whiskey on his cpu. Took a couple mobile appts as well and then went to break a little late around 1235. After 15 I went to GBFS and honestly I don’t remember that block too much outside of me and Madison triaging some things. Went to my lunch at 2 and I was originally gonna get CFA but I walked out of the back with MayMay who was getting Las Palmas since Taco Tuesday and as soon as I was about to complete my order I just decided to get that instead. We walked there together and she picked up her order while I ordered my usual chicken chimichanga. We both waited which it was super quick like 5 minutes and then we went back together. During the lunch MayMay realized she got corn tortillas instead of flour for her carne asada tacos so she was upset. I ended up eating just the tortillas because why not. It made me super full lol but anyways after I ate and finished watching my Lud video I went into the business office and kicked Ethan and Perdue out so I could take my call with the senior manager from LA. As I was about to clock back in to work at 303 she called me and we talked for about 10 minutes. Pretty much they had no information for me so we’re just playing a waiting game. Went to iPhone Repair straight after and fixed a couple phones. Didn’t realize I had my break at 430 so I went like 10 minutes late as Perdue relieved me. Took a short one and then went out to GBFS which I helped troubleshoot some things. Had a little bit of iPhone repair in between my GBFS and we actually checked in out first iPhone 12 display. It was a Pro Max and I was the test dummy that actually got to do it! It took me a minute because it’s a whole different process but I ended up completing it with no problems! After that I hung out for a bit and then left at 7. Went home and then got things settled in my room until Olivia knocked to come in. We chatted about doing month to month at our apartment since I have no idea what the hell is going on with LA and I don’t want to move out to my parents just to possibly move to LA or another apartment complex here. Plus Olivia really didn’t want to go back to her parents but money was an issue for her. We came to a conclusion that prolly 2 more months is good for both of us.

So that went well and then I put my laundry in the washer then attempted to just play Mario on melee but literally my first match I ran into Hunter. He messaged me on FB asking if it was me and I said yeah and he told me to hop on discord. He was on there with Cameron which was sweet cause I haven’t talked to either of them since college and Hunter helped me get the new melee that has wolf and volleyball on it. When we got that going we just played that for like an hour/hour and a half. Over the time Spot and Paul came on the call so it was just like the old ODU days when I would see these guys literally every day. Anyways, Jonita facetimed me randomly while I was playing and I didn’t pick up cause I was playing, so I tried to call her back which she didn’t answer and then she called me back and pretty much her and Joshua got free food from a Grubhub delivery that wasn’t meant for them. It was Chinese food and they offered to give it to me if I drove there. I took up on that offer, so I finished up playing volleyball with Hunter after like 5 or 6 more games and talking with the group, put my clothes in the dryer and then went out to their place. Got there around 935 and we just hung out and talked for a good hour. They got chicken broccoli, rice, boneless spare ribs and sweet tea (that they didn’t know was sweet tea) and I ate the ribs and rice there. Saved the chicken broccoli for tomorrow and left there I think around 1030. Came back home, dried my clothes a little longer, played a bit more melee and now i’m here. It’s 1226 and wow what a long day.

#January 26

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missradical3 · 4 years ago

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Loud thoughts.

m frustrated today. My body has been though hell and trying to work through it at work or when your mind is filled with different thoughts, I’m a nightmare.

I have routine blood work every 3 months or so to make sure medicine is not at a toxic level and that my kidneys and liver are okay with it. My results said it was high so I had to take 1 less pill until the next test. I can feel when I don’t have that one dose. It’s almost like a withdrawal? The symptoms are expected and usual, not fun. So while fixing this, it has an effect on my work performance. There’s no one to give me a 5 minute chill break. It can also cause a swift kick into a mood swing. I’ve felt it creeping up but I should be fine in a few days.

I need like one medicine to clear ailments and then I’m mostly good at management, I promise. It’ll help everything.

During this meds adjustment, I’m super sensitive to all senses, particular things from each one. Which is why I benefit from a quick break. I love my class and my babies in there so much. But when this is happening, my patience is thin while trying to fake it for a few days, and I hate it. I do my best to be calm and help them but sometimes the yelling or whatever happens, I have to step away. Kids know everything, so they check on you which is so sweet. But it hurts when I can’t think or an irritated when it’s my little ones ; and family of course.

I have been doing well. I won’t say the best because with my diagnoses, my brain tricks itself sometimes. But I have done well managing medicines and psych appts. Not so much doctors for other parts of health (I’m trying..esp w endocrinologist to fix this unexplained weight gain grossness..I just want to wear a dress ). I’ll focus on that after I readjust.

I’ve also been worrying about grandma with all of her health problems. She’s my best friend, o need her here. I’m proud of her for going to all of her appointments and doing her exercises. She’s had more color in her cheeks. She hates all of the safety or little things to help in place...she thinks it’s because of her age...but it’s because of her illnesses. She’s feisty as hell, so the hearing aids which I call jewlery, are a tough adjustment. My parents put a monitor in her room bc of night terrors, she accepted it. And her not so favorite, a seated walker. It just helps when she feels a little weak; it’ll grow. I told her I’d get her ribbons and a bell, she stuck her tongue out at me.

What is such a strange concept is advanced directives, all the info needed when you can’t speak for yourself so you have designated advocates, a plan for medical procedures, a plan for DNR, and other details. I don’t think much about it because as a mostly responsible person with mental illnesses, I had one notarized a few years ago. I’m not planning on going anywhere, but it’s just being safe. I have it in my to go binder with medicine, etc info. Creating it to me is responsible, not sad. But the other day I went to print something and o saw an advanced directive on my dads desk. It wasn’t mine. It was for my grandma. I felt so sick. I know it’s responsible. But that means it’s needed and it took everything out of me to hold on from crying until I was alone: I must be strong for my family. I will protect her at all costs. It was a powerful emotion that I felt alone. I won’t make this harder on my mom than it is, so I kept those tears quiet.

I’m rambling. I’m scattered. I’m restless. I I’m anxious. I apologize for such a cacophony of thoughts.

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laptrance · 4 years ago

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July 28, 2020

it’s been over two years since my last entry. so much has changed. to update March 8 2018 me:

you give up on job searching atm until 4/24/18. that’s when you start reaching out to all the promotion companies from kucr. planetary was the other promotion company you remembered besides terrorbird. cirstina was super nice and chill and said they just wrapped internships for the summer but to inquire again for the fall.

you wait those months while still working at mcdonalds. you get good at it and things are second nature to you. you still have moments where you storm out, but you get better at controlling your temper.

you check back in august and cristina says there are positions open in the fall. it was pretty easy as they accepted you right away. you do this bat shit crazy thing where you try to balance the two. planetary internship Tuesday Thursday Friday and McDonald’s the rest of the days. you even do opening shift during the weekends (4am-12pm).

you’re mostly quiet during your internship. you participate in riyl’s. you mainly talk to cristina while mailing. you don’t open up much until hayoung joins in november i think. mcdonalds is the same as usual, but your sleep schedule’s FUKED UP.

you hear in december that maria (who worked in publicity) is quitting. cristina encourages you to apply. you talk with adam and the interview tbh goes horribly. not like you didn’t have anything to say, but everything you said was wrong LOL. you also talk to george and ben and they lay out what press does but you dont catch any of that.

christmas office party happens and you drink a lot. you open up a lot to EVERYONE, iNCLUDING BEN about your love life (embarrassing) you’re obviously too drunk to drive home, but you stay over the night with nik and alison (goth bless their souls)

you check in with adam on the position occasionally until feb. 2019 when he breaks the bad news. the position’s filled. like how can you be surprised? but you’re still upset. you’re able to turn this as a positive to use your experiences to boost your resume.

you continue to work at mcdonalds and interview at places until you get a random email from adam exactly one year after you first emailed cristina about the internship. adam offers you the job. ofc you accept. you quit mcdonalds and start with planetary on may 1.

learning publicity is one hell of a learning curve. heck, you’re still learning how to do shit even now. but you’re thrown on the deep end with Luna. not your fault. not totally kristen’s fault. but that was a crazy client.

anyways, your sleep schedule’s still fucked up because of your commute. but at least you have free weekends now!

some highlights of 2019: you finally get a macbook! but you have a galaxy s9 as a phone lmfao. placements in The Line of Best Fit and Paste! you get absolutely entranced with warehouse raves. you literally go to at least once a month. falling in love with queen of jeans and linking up with their publicist Jamie Coletta (she’s super cool and the best at the game), going on two (2) dates with a really nice girl named sara. you got in your head and probably fucked that up. but it really wasn’t the time. christmas party 2019. same shenanigans but this time you don’t drink as much. you really look for places to move out to with ryan and he finds a house that angeli and linda live. two people are moving out and the rooms go for $500 and $600. you get the $500 room and are set to move in on Feb 16 2020. news of a disease called coronavirus is first detected in china. this will be important later.

oh 2020. what a shite year. if i told myself the things i’ll write down below i would not believe it. but here it is. everything that has happened so far in 2020:

first cases of coronavirus appear in washington on january. you’re not too concerned about it.

you’re working this country artist aminah hughes and land a placement in american songwriter for January 31 (1st time!). there are some issues and they post it one day later, but you weren’t as attentive as you should’ve been over the weekend.

adam talks to you about it the following monday (2/3) in a really calm matter but you beat yourself up over it. so much so that on your way home, you totally don’t notice a pedestrian crossing galloping hills and eucalyptus and run them over. everything feels like a blur, but you’re able to talk to the police, karen, and kimberly (state farm) about it. you take tuesday-thursday off.

you move in (night before you saw bored lord and octo octa until 3am wtf). you don’t have a car (for obvious reasons), but you’re able to commute to work via bus/subway (which you would’ve done anyway cause you love public transportation lol)

you’re able to return to normal life mostly until middle march. cases of the newly named COVID-19 have spread throughout the united states and you hear of workspaces transitioning over to work from home operations. planetary soon follows suit. our last day in the office is march 13.

literally the week after you start wfh animal crossing new horizons comes out. that keeps you busy for like two, three months tops. it’s also a nice way to keep in touch with friends.

your first therapy session happens on march 31. you’re able to talk about the accident, but it’s quickly directed to self-esteem. it’s an ongoing process, but you’re slowly advancing. it’s not linear, but it’s better than doing nothing.

Bandcamp establishes “Bandcamp Day”, 24 hour periods in which the site’s share of profits go directly to artists/labels. Started in April, will continue through the end of 2020. All the money I would normally spend on concerts goes here now. That and I fall to the hands of food delivery apps (door dash wins)

your campaign with Atta Boy gets going. first track premieres at Atwood Magazine (2nd time! [1st time was with sophia st. helen, another awesome client]). band’s super happy about it (even mr. josh brolin himself gave a shout out [bias ofc]). by the end of may you land their second single on THE MOTHERFUCKING FADER (1ST TIME OBVIOUSLY).

everything else is going surprisingly well for the most part (except for elp, but i don’t wanna talk about those fucking idiots) despite the ever-changing landscape of music journalism. huge blogs are letting people go while smaller sites are remaining mostly the same.

On May 25, George Floyd is murdered by Minneapolis police which sparks the biggest wave of activity in the Black Lives Matter movement since Michael Brown’s death in 2014. organizing/activism is still going on to this day (7/28).

For me personally, I’m making a conscious effort to highlight Black artists on my Bandcamp days and general sharing of music. I also joined a book club (6/18) and read “Are Prisons Obsolete” in its entirety. We’re currently reading a comic series called Bitch Planet. Deep and meaningful conversations.

the family hears news of Lola’s declining health. June 23rd (Manila time) is the day she passes away. We’re all able to say our last goodbyes via facebook video call. this is the first time i see my dad cry.

funeral takes place on june 27th. we’re able to partake in the ceremony via zoom. the first and only funeral i “attended” online (so far).

I start “fixing” myself physically. I went to physical therapy from 6/8-7/7. the exercises do wonders to my knees (ty dr. bailey!). also saw a dermatologist on 7/10. really quick appt. kinda felt rushed imo, but i was given a special sunscreen that works so far? also recommended otc meds like claritin.

ended campaign with atta boy. really sad to see them go. currently coordinating with their new managers on a possible podcast and press setup.

and that’s pretty much it! it’s a lot of shit, i know, but it happened all within 2 years. overall i’d say we were pretty successful in finding a big-girl job and MOVING OUT, WHICH I THOUGHT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN LMFAO. as for the shit you were hung up on with angelica, you’re so much better now, but you think about the good memories from time to time. sometimes it gets you down, but you’re thankful for the memories (come through fallout boy LMFAO AHAHA FALLOUT AMIRIGHT) and you learned from your mistakes. maybe it will be another two years before i leave another update, might be less, might be more.

but i’m extremely proud at how far i’ve come.

im proud of you, me.

#personal #do people still tag personal stuff as personal?#do people still read tags the way they do?#or is it just for clout chasing now. idk

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annabankesterbeautyblogger · 7 years ago

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Happy Monday beauties! Today I finally have a Weekly Update… It’s more of a monthly update this time. In today’s post, I have a ton of pics of what I did in November and a few MOTD’s to show ya’ll. I tested a lot of new products, my husband and I celebrated our 2nd Wedding Anniversary, there was a birthday, bands, visits with family and tons of good food. Also a full month on the Keto diet.

Let’s jump in!

The Makeup and Misadventures

October 31st, 2017

Starting back on October 31st.Halloween was spent running errands. My husband had a doctor’s appt that day. So I did this Orange smoky eye and winged liner using the KVD Saints & Sinner Palette paired with a plummy lip to a least look a little festive. I’m not sure why this wasn’t in my last Weekly Edit, probably because I was late posting this look on Instagram.

We went to a get together that evening so I amped the look up with some glitter from WetNWild and a glimmer shade from the Kat Von D Saints & Sinners palette like I did in my Shadow Sun Tutorial which will be linked below. We had already done our Halloween partying so I was keeping it simple.

November 4th, 2017

The weekend of November 4th we spent with my husband’s family down south. Makeup and everything else was kept hella simple. We hung out with his mom, dad, and nephews most of the Friday and early Saturday. I love going down to see them.

This is the view from the back porch, how could you not love looking out at that.

We also brought Pumpkin who got to go off leash and have her best day ever running around with Buddy the Lab. He loves him some Pumpkin.

I also got treated to a latte!

Saturday evening was more of an adventure. We stayed over at Ross’s sister’s house and ventured out to a dive bar in the middle of NOWHERE called the Topsy V. Ross and I were hella iffy on this excursion but his sister promised it was cool, so we drove the 25 mins of back road to get to this hole in the wall of a bar and surprisingly it was pretty legit. The town it is in literally only has this bar and a gas station… Anyway, I learned how to play darts and found a new skill there. I hate playing pool but this was the first dart game I had tried and really enjoyed it. The highlight of the night was Ross’s sister getting a drink and there were about 50 gnats floating in it. LOL! We made it home around midnight and crashed.

November 7th, 2017

This was Ross and Mine’s 2nd Wedding Aniversary night. I wanted to go full glam so I did this look using the Kat Von D Saints & Sinners Palette and the Anastasia Beverly Hills Modern Renaissance Palette paired with BH Cosmetics Metallic Liquid Lipstick in Amber.

This has to be one of the best liquid lippies I have tried in a while.

For our anniversary date night, we went to Outback. We have a thing about going to Outback for our special date nights. It’s our thing. We shared this amazing dessert that was a s’mores ice cream cookie thing. Fuck me up, BITCH! it was so good.

Afterward, we hit the bar and stayed until about 3am hanging out with friends. It was a damn good night.

November 16th? 2017

And at this point, my dates get foggy AF, this was around the 16th. On this day I was doing a wear test with the Fenty Foundation, more on that is coming. I am working on a whole post. This was another day of errands. In this look, I used the Anastasia Beverly Hills Modern Renaissance paired with Tarte Tarteist Quick Dry Liquid Lipstick in Obsessed. I have a full review of those linked below. I think all I did on this day was get groceries and nothing much else so I did another wear tests over the next couple of days.

Spoiler of how I feel about the Fenty foundation.

November 17th, 2017

Another day of wear tests with the Fenty foundation and the Tarte Lights Camera Lashes Liquid Eye Liner. The review will be linked below. The products got tested super well on this day.

I also feel in love the Wet N Wild Renegade Mascara.

We had lunch at one of our favorite spots called Wildwood Pizza. They have the best keto friendly salads of life. I had a roasted chicken salad.

After that, I spent the rest of the early afternoon walking around the mall which is just something I enjoy doing out of nostalgia. I also hit up Sephora and Ulta, of course, This was a pretty warm day and I did a lot after we got back home from working on blog posts to some housework. I wore the products a good 10 + hours.

November 18th, 2017

This was Saturday before last, we had a friend staying over so we hit up the bar to see a band that was playing. I was in the mood some a really dark look. In this one, I used the Kat Von D Saints and Sinners Palette and the Tarte Tarteist Amazonian Clay Pro Eyeshadow Palette paired with Nyx Liquid Suede in Brooklyn Thorn.

This ended up being a pretty strange night when an old friend showed up but it was a good night, the bands were great. I didn’t get in until almost 4 am I think, then got up around 11am and went to Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch during the Saints game.

November 22nd, 2017

This was the day before Thanksgiving and my BFF’s birthday. This is the look from my …Of Dreams and Drama Tutorial (Linked Below) like I said in the post I did this look with her in mind.

This night was a blast. We had sushi (my cheat meal) then went bowling until they ran us out.

For Thanksgiving, the next day Ross and I ended up at Golden Corral in damn near our PJ’s because NOTHING was open. We were just wanting something quick because I was cooking that evening. Ended up having a second cheat meal and feeling the shame of just eating at Golden Corral where you literally feel like cattle. The only walk of shame I have experienced is that walk to the car from there.

November 24th, 2017

My little Sephora VIB haul came in! I finally picked up the Subculture palette, a review is a coming and I picked up the new glow kit, and a Sephora Faves lippy set.

November 25, 2017

I used the Subculture. Here’s what she looks like after one use.

Just fine! There is more to come on this and the looks I have done with it. Below is just a quick pic I snapped on Instagram stories before I left the house.

Saturday was a fun night. A few friends and I went to see Mojo Killjoy at The Melting Pot and hung out at the bar for a bit.

I don’t know for sure which day I made this for breakfast but it’s another one of my go-to keto meals. Scrambled eggs, cheese, and spinach on a wheat tortilla. Maybe 5 carbs in this meal.

Speaking of keto, I have been doing it for a full month. Intermittent fasting and around 20 – 25 carbs a day. Some days are more, just depends but so far I am down 14 pounds. Ross is in his first week right now. So far so good and so easy. Keto flu only lasted 3 days, but I struggle staying hydrated and have caused myself some issues there. TMI. Water water water!

The Funny

The Pumpkin

Because Pumpkin was full of cute as usual.

That wraps up my last 3 weeks and almost all of November. I’ll see ya tomorrow for a Lust or Bust and Wednesday for a review maybe. Good Night beauties!