#but the story became an unbearable emotion freak show way too fast

[psalmsofpsychosis]

........ ...... :/

[tarteausuga]

killing boys

Jaehyun (NCT) x Reader [x Chaeyoung (Twice)] angst, implied wlw cw: cheating, strong language, sexual content word count: 2.1k Inspired by killing boys by Halsey

"You're killing people." “No, I'm killing boys. Boys are just placeholders, they come and they go." "You're my best friend, and I wanna help you. But I won't let you kill again, that's a lose-lose."

You could only describe it as the worst pain you've ever felt in your life. Even worse than that time your older brother body slammed you while you were "playing WWE" with him and you ended up breaking your arm in 2 spots and a broken collar bone. It was even worse than the period pains that felt like someone was jamming a blunt knife into your abdomen. The only thing was that it wasn't a physical pain or something your body was actually experiencing physiologically. It was the strongest emotional pain ever and it threw your life for a loop.

Eating was the last thing you wanted to do and you had run out of people to vent to about the current worst thing that's ever happened to you. But your childhood best friend always had a way of making her way into your life at the best/worst times. 

Chaeyoung was always a free spirit compared to your more grounded personality. She was usually always out doing something while you were at home watching Netflix. She would occasionally show up at random times, knocking on your window when she needed a place to sleep for the night. But she always had a keen sense of how you were feeling because her visits, despite his chaotic she was at times, calmed you from whatever was going on in your life.

"Hey Charlie Brown, what's up?" She says the moment you open the front door of your house. She had arrived with two bags full of convenience store food: three of each of your favourite chocolates, drinks, chips and anything else you could want in the moment.

"When are you going to stop calling me that?" You form a weak smile as she drops the bags onto the floor before pulling you into one of her signature chokeholds that are her version of hugs.

"Never. You're my lovable loser. Bedroom, I brought your favourite foods and your favourite movies." She doesn't even wait for you to say yes. You quickly rustle up the bags before peddling up after her.

She's greeted by the mess that was your room. Normally fairly neat and tidy, it looked like a hurricane had ripped through as you attempted to erase any memory or any chance of an object conjuring up an unwanted memory that would cause you that unbearable pain again. Chaeyoung glanced at you empathetically as she waded through the waste and jumped onto your bed. She pulled the laptop out from the bag and turned it on before patting the space next to her for you to join her.

The two of you watched the movie without speaking much to each other. The only noises were from the movie and the crinkling of wrappers as you satiated your hunger with the junk food - exactly what you needed.

"So what did the jerk do?" Chaeyoung finally said when she felt that you had a full enough belly to not collapse into a ball of misery and self-pity.

"He was caught with another girl. My friends saw him around town with a girl on his arm. He tried to play it off like she was his cousin but you don't kiss your cousins." You say glumly. You had told this story to so many people that it didn't even hurt anymore. 

"What an idiot. Haven't I told you? Jung Jaehyun was and always will be an ass hat." She chuckles as she leans back on her hands.

"I guess but I've had a crush on him for so long..." You say while playing with the candy wrapper in your hands.

"Right when he completely ignored you in high school and let those dumbass basketball guys make fun of you. Ass hat." She chuckled but this time, out of spite. Chaeyoung was quite known around your old high school of being the tough girl despite her small size. She called out anyone and everyone when they needed to be put in line and every guy was terrified of her as she was known to air out their dirty laundry if they humiliated a girl they dated. She's stood up for you on countless occasions but when you drifted apart in high school, you fell out of her protection as your new friends were unsavoury people to Chaeyoung. "He only started dating you when you became hot."

"Shut up." You threw the wrapper at her but she was right. 

You had graduated a little over 2 years ago and that's when you started becoming more confident in yourself. You carried yourself better and that's when he started to take notice of you. He had made up this elaborate story that he had liked you since high school but deep inside, you knew that wasn't true. You just lied to yourself because you were finally getting the boy of your dreams. 

He was just that. He was everything you wanted until he wasn't. You were convinced that he was the love of your life until he wasn't. Everything was an illusion because apparently, this was not the first time he has cheated on you or any other girl. Despite the warnings, you wanted to believe that he wouldn't hurt you… Until he did.

"I thought he was the one, Chae." You say glumly again.

"It can feel like that but I don't believe in it. There are plenty of people out there who would treat you like the peach that you are. Cheer up, Charlie Brown." She nudged you with her elbow with a wink.

She started calling you Charlie Brown when you two became obsessed with the Peanuts comics in middle school. Chaeyoung loved that he was a lovable loser and said that he reminded her of you. She proclaimed that she was Peppermint Patty and you agreed because Chaeyoung was always out there with the most absurd thoughts and ideas.

You had moved on to the second movie and you were now cuddled up with your best friend on your bed. You were about to fall asleep when she suddenly sat up, shocking you out of the sleepy state and said, "let's ruin Jung Jaehyun," with a smile.

"What?" You rub your eyes, "Chaeyoung, no. It's not that big of a deal. I'll get over it." 

"Not a big deal my ass. C'mon, ___, we need to teach him a lesson. Show him that he can't just go around sticking his dick in random places without consequences. It's our duty to any future woman that he might hurt." Chaeyoung says passionately.

You sigh and think about it before admitting defeat. "What are you planning?" You rub the bridge of your nose knowing she has already come up with an elaborate plan of some sort.

---

You park your car a block away from Jaehyun's house as instructed by Chaeyoung but you start having second thoughts. "This is a bad idea, Chae. Let's just go back to my place and finish that movie."

"Don't back out on me now! We're here, let's get it done." She almost hisses at you and you start wondering why she holds so much hate for Jaehyun all of a sudden.

Chaeyoung had always been protective of you from the day you two met in kindergarten. A bully had tried to take the chocolate chip cookie your mom had packed for you to help ease your nerves from your first day at school. You just sat there and cried when Chaeyoung came out of nowhere and snatched the cookie back, said some choice words and gave it to you. Though you had drifted away when high school started, you made new friends in high school from your club activities and Chaeyoung joined cheerleading, she always kept an eye on you. But she's never gone to this extreme.

"We've done some crazy things in the past, Chae, but this is literally illegal. We could go to jail for this!" You grab her wrist.

"Only if we get caught!" She yells in a hushed tone. Her eyes had changed into something more menacing than before.

"Why are you doing this?" You hiss back.

"I can't just standby and let that asshole get away with hurting someone I love." She shakes her hand free and gets out of the car before you can stop her.

In the time it took you to unbuckle your seatbelt and get out of the car, she was already at Jaehyun's house. You told her everything. The spare key was under the third flower pot on the right. He was usually at basketball practice at this time, then he would go hang out with the boys. It was Friday night so his parents were out for their weekly date night. This used to be the time where you and Jaehyun would have sex as you had the house to yourselves…

Chaeyoung's plan was simple: key his car. Sneak into his room and spray paint something (she didn't tell you what), sneak out and go home.

It was too late to stop her since you weren't a fast runner and you knew perfectly well that it was impossible to stop your best friend from doing anything once her mind was set. All you could do was wait.

You tapped your foot impatiently, trying to make the time go by faster to no avail when suddenly, you heard yelling from down the block. The next thing you knew, Chaeyoung was sprinting down the road yelling at you to start the car. You fumbled with your keys as you tried to do as she said and finally got the engine to start when she hopped into the passenger seat.

"JUST DRIVE" She yelled breathlessly.

You instantly stepped on the gas and look in the rearview mirror to see Jaehyun standing there, furious.

"What the hell happened?" You demand from Chaeyoung.

"That fucker." She laughed as she sunk into the leather of the car seat.

"Chaeyoung!" You glare at her, your knuckles going white from gripping the steering wheel so tight.

"So I keyed that ridiculous car of his and went into the house, no problem right? I mean I took a little longer on the car than I wanted but that was great penmanship considering I was using a damn key but anyway!" She continues, "fuck man, I go in and I just hear shit. It kind of freaked me out because you said the house would be empty right? But I'm like okay whatever, I go to his room and there he was balls deep in some girl." She can't help but laugh and even though you want to cry, you join her. "I'm so sorry Charlie Brown but you deserve so much better."

"Yeah, I know." You stop the car at a red light. You take her hand in yours and kiss it, "Thanks for that, Chae. I needed it."

"Anything for you." She smiles and pulls you in for a kiss.

You pull away with a gasp and look at her with wide eyes before diverting your attention to the road and continuing driving in silence. Your focus was solely on the road as you attempted to try and avoid the feelings you could possibly be feeling. While you were doing this, you failed to notice that Chaeyoung’s energy was dwindling, something she rarely lets other people see. All you could do was drive.

The car pulled up to the curb of Chaeyoung’s house and you put it into park. You finally turned to your best friend and saw how small she truly was for the first time in your life. You easily had a head of height on her but her energy was always so strong and exuberant that her physical size wasn’t even on your mind. But in that moment, she looked so small and vulnerable. The one who was always standing up for you and protecting you has a weakness: you.

“Chaeyoung…” You say quietly but she cuts you off.

“It’s okay, Charlie Brown. It was the heat of a moment thing. Something Bonnie and Clyde would do, you know?” she pasted a smile on but you could’ve sworn you saw her wipe a tear from her eye.

“You’re my best friend, Chaeyoung. We shouldn’t complicate that.” 

“You’re right, we shouldn’t do anything. Really, ___. It’s fine. I’ll be fine. Like always.” She patted your hand that was gripping the gear shift with white knuckles. “Until next time.” Once again, she slipped out of the car before you could react and disappeared into the house by the time you got out to try and talk to her.

[killerqueenys]

just one more drink||roger taylor x reader||part one

Warning(s): alcoholism

Word count: 2,291

A/N: Hello sooo this is my first go at writing anything so any constructive criticism/notes are appreciated! I’m also really new to tumblr so I have no clue how it works but I’ll be figuring it out along the way I suppose. This is more of a preview of what the story’s gonna be about but I just decided to call it part one since I wrote like over 2k words. Sorry for any spelling mistakes/grammatical errors! If this does well, I’m thinking about writing more and maybe taking requests idkkkk. Anyways, enjoy!

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You did it for the thrill. Sure, the fame and special treatment was a nice plus (okay, a REALLY nice plus) but that’s not why you did it.

Being able to do what you loved for a living was satisfying in every way imaginable. Everything that you had dreamed of as a child became reality about a year ago. A few of your friends had started up a band and it shot up to international success shortly after you joined. The success of it all wasn’t a surprise, your music was amazing and creative (there were a few journalists who would wildly disagree which was to be expected of course). But how fast the fame and fortune hit was a little shocking.

As you sang with emotion into the microphone that hovered next to your crash, you hit out the last beat with a newfound energy. That was the end. That was the final song of the final show of your first international tour.

The lights cut as you tried to catch your breath. Standing, with adrenaline still coursing through your body, you ran up to the front of the stage to meet the three boys you had just spent seven months with on tour. The spotlight shined bright upon the four of you. With sweaty arms wrapped around one another, you took three big bows as the crowed roared. The sound of all the cheering was deafening but you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Running around the stage with the boys, you threw your drumsticks into the crowd. Okay maybe you shouldn’t have done that. Those were quite expensive. But maybe it didn’t matter. All of your shows had sold out after all. You’d be able to afford new ones and pay the rent on time for the first time since you had moved in. 

“Thank you and goodnight!” your frontman shouts into the crowd.

Insisting on keeping your adrenaline up, you run backstage where there’s a raging party and loads of free alcohol. Soon, one drink turned to two which turned to four. Maybe there was a fifth? Or a sixth? You had lost count a long time ago. You were completely drunk. Stumbling through the crowd, you bumped into a man and spilled your drink, stepping back as it just narrowly missed your shoes. 

“What the fu-” you stopped as you looked up and realized who it was that had just run into you. “Woahh! You’re Freddie Mercury,” you exclaimed absentmindedly. You hadn’t meant to show your excitement so openly but that last drink you’d had was really starting to mess with your head.

“Y/N darling! You were absolutely brilliant out there!” Freddie complimented.

“Thank you so much! That’s a huge honour coming from you, Mr.Mercury!” you managed to say with a half-conscious mind. That last drink really wasn’t going to let you off easily. 

“Oh please, you don’t need to use those silly formalities just call me Freddie. Actually, I was talking to your manager just now about a possible collaboration between our bands. I absolutely love your work!” he said with adoration in his tone.

“That’d be amazing! I’m completely obsessed with Queen right now and in fact I’m freaking out a little right now because you’re Freddie Mercury and you’re right here in front of me and you’re telling me that you like our work,” you rambled on. Damn that fifth drink. “Sorry, think I’ve had one too many drinks. Anyways, I’ll be sure to talk to the boys about it. I guarantee you that they’ll be just as excited as I am.”

With that, you say your farewells and head back towards the party. Sure, you didn’t have all those groupies following you around like the guy had, but there were some cute guys around that you were sure wanted an in with the band. As you walk towards the noise, someone runs past you, knocking you backwards when they brush your shoulder. To a sober person, it would’ve been nothing but you definitely weren’t sober.

“Okay ouch that hurt…” you complained after being knocked back onto your ass. Looking up you saw your band’s bassist with two groupies in hand, no doubt heading to the dressing rooms for a bit of fun.

“Oh my god Y/N are you okay?” Lucas asked while reaching out a hand for you to grab. “You look absolutely shit-faced. Please don’t tell me you’re going back for more.”

“I’m fine...just lost my balance is all,” you slurred as you struggled to stand. “Just one more drink I swear.”

“No. No way Y/N. I’m gonna go call a cab to take you home.” Lucas scolded with annoyance in his voice. Pulling you up, he left his groupies behind and practically dragged you outside where the air was cold and unforgiving. Your teeth chattered and you shivered. It didn’t sober you up much but it definitely did make you more alert. “Y/N...you promised that this wouldn’t happen anymore.” Lucas said as he put his jacket around your shoulders. 

He didn’t sound condescending at all. Just really...concerned. And he had a reason to be. You had promised that you’d work on your drinking habits but you always found yourself back at the bar.

“I’m sorry.” you whispered so quietly that it was almost inaudible. Not knowing what else to say, the two of you sat on the curb in silence. It was unbearable. You knew that you’d promised a thousand times that you’d work on it but you also knew that you had broken that promise just as many times as you made it.

“Look...you know I love you. You’re like my little sister and that’s why i need to tell you that this has to stop. For real this time.” he said, breaking the silence.

“I promise I’ll work on it. For real this time.” you vow sincerely as the cab rounded the corner. 

“742 bluewhisp avenue please.” Lucas tells the driver as you practically collapse into the back seat. “I’m gonna head back inside. You gonna be all right?” he asked through the back window.

“Yeah. Think I’ll just go home and sleep this off,” you mumbled. “Hey and...thanks. You know, for always looking out for me?”

“‘Course. That’s what best friends are for,” he smiled sadly. “Make sure to drink some water when you get home.”

As you lay in the back seat on the way to your little apartment, you can’t help but think about how lucky you were to have such people that cared so much about your wellbeing. Thoughts of your little group that had turned into your family filled your mind as you dozed off. You didn’t want to think about where you’d be without them.

-----

The next morning you woke up to the screech of your ringing telephone from the kitchen. The all-too-familiar pain of a hangover began to take effect.

“Alright, alright I’m coming!” you yelled as you sped towards the wall, desperate to stop the awful noise.

“Hello?” you spoke into the phone while reaching up towards the cabinet for some painkillers for the pounding in your head.

“Y/N! Great you’re up!”

It was your manager.

“Yeah well now I am.” you said as you rolled your eyes, clearly annoyed that he had called you at such an early hour.

“Sorry Y/N but things are about to get a lot worse for you. We need you down at the studio in 15.”

“Are you kidding me?” you sighed, your head still pounding. “Fine. Give me 30 and I’ll be there.”

-----

You walked into the studio with dark sunglasses to block out the harsh studio lights that you knew would be a pain to deal with while you were still dealing with a killer hangover.

“Jesus Dan what’s so important that you needed us all here at bloody eight in the morning right after a big tour. Couldn’t we have pushed this back at least another da-” you paused upon rounding the corner and seeing who was sat on the couch.

Freddie Mercury, John Deacon, and Brian May were all sitting right in front of you with questioning eyes.

“Okay nevermind, I’d say that this is pretty important.” you admitted and sat in the chair next to the couch where some of your biggest inspirations sat.

“Now we’re just waiting for Rog as always,” Brian shook his head.

Although you were grateful and ecstatic to be in the presence of the musical icons that you had looked up to since the beginning of their careers, you were still confused as to why they were here in the first place. Just as you were about to ask, the phone went off. You held your head as the sound echoed until Hendrix, your guitarist, unhooked it from the wall.

“Hello?” he spoke.

“Hey it’s Roger. Taylor. Sorry but I’m gonna be a little later than I thought.”

“It’s Roger. Do one of you guys want to take it?” he asked and Freddie took the phone out of his grasp.

“Rog we’ve been waiting almost an hour already! Get your shit together and GET OVER HERE!” Freddie demanded and then slammed the phone back into place.

“Well there’s no point in waiting up for him even more. We’ll just catch him up once he gets here.” John spoke up.

“Actually that’s what I was wondering. Why exactly are you guys here? I mean--of course I’m not complaining but I’m just a little bit confused.” you questioned.

“Darling, I spoke to you about this last night! Although...you were completely drunk,” Freddie reminded you.

“Oh my god, the collaboration? But isn’t this too soon? Guys we JUST finished our tour. Last night in fact!” you spoke to your band.

“Yeah but we haven’t really worked on a big music project like this in so long, Y/N. Hell, we haven’t even worked on ANY new music. Plus, we’ll need to keep making more as soon as possible if we want to stay relevant on the charts and in the news.” Carter, your lead singer explained. 

You nodded in agreement when you realized that you would most definitely get bored at home doing nothing if you didn’t have anything to work on. It would drive you insane to go from playing your heart out on stage every night to sitting around watching the television play reruns of some cartoon.

“Okay so what’s the plan?” you asked your manager who was silently chatting with Queen’s own manager.

“Well, we were thinking about taking this a different way,” their manager started. “Instead of all working together in a big group, we were thinking that we’d break you all up into sections by your role in the band. So, Freddie would work with Carter, Brian with Hendrix, Deaky with Lucas, and once Roger gets here he’d work with Y/N. Then once you’ve all come up with something, everyone will work together on the lyrics and such. You guys could make something really unique with an approach like this.”

You had to admit that it was an interesting approach to songwriting. On one hand, the music could come out messy without a flow considering that each of you would be working in pairs away from the rest of your band members. On the other hand, everyone would be able to focus on just one thing and make it the best that it can possibly be. It was a 50/50 chance.

Suddenly, the door flew open. And there he was. Roger Taylor. Drummer of Queen. Much like you, he walked in with his signature pair of sunglasses.

“Look who finally decided to show up! And only after two hours of us waiting around!” Brian called out to Roger, sarcasm thick in his voice.

“Oh come off it, I’m here now and that’s all that matters,” Roger replied. “So, what are we doing?”

After your managers had explained (again) how your collaboration was going to work, you split off into your pairs, eager to get to playing. You had already thought of a million ideas since the moment you stepped into the studio doors.

“Alright so I just thought of a little beat while they were talking,” you told Roger as you took a seat behind your drumset. You drummed the beat with energy and passion, keeping the tempo up perfectly. “So, what do you think?”

“I hate it.”

“Excuse me?” you asked taken aback by how blunt he was being.

“You heard me. That was absolute rubbish!” he laughed mockingly.

“Well then, I’d like to see you do better.” you stood and offered your drumsticks to him. After taking the drumsticks, he played one of the most generic beats that you had ever heard.

“You’re joking right?” you chuckled just as he had done to you earlier. “That was such a basic drum beat! Heard it a million times!”

“Well it was better than whatever crap you just played!”

“Was it really? Think about it again and tell me with a serious face that it was better.” you retorted. Just as Roger was about to argue, Lucas burst through the door.

“Hey we’re all gonna head out for lunch. You guys coming?”

As the eight of you walk towards the small restaurant around the corner, you can’t help but wonder if Roger Taylor would be this way through the entire collaboration. You wanted to have a good time and make music with a band you were such a huge fan of but it seemed that Roger wasn’t a very big fan of you. Maybe what they say is true. You should never meet your heroes.

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A/N: So?? What do you think? I was really nervous to post this but I’m really glad that I did because writing this was so much fun! Again, any notes or reblogs are appreciated!