#but the poems i wrote in my hardest moments

[intertwinedchaos]

i need to bang my head against the wall a few times

vent in tags alabama

[bluemirrorangel]

Dead poets' society ship headcanons feelings realisation + confessions 

these are mainly modern headcanons.

Anderperry:

 SO MUCH PINING

Todd kind of had a thing for Neil from the start but thought it was just admiration  until the scene where Neil promises to take care of him. 

And Neil always found Todd interesting but realised his feelings when Todd improv’d his poem in class.

I feel like they would have kissed after the play if they had the chance 

Wrote each other christmas cards over the winter break with sickeningly sweet messages in them.

Crazy amounts of pda, nothing huge but they're always touching each other; holding hands, arms thrown around the others neck, leaning on each other like they don’t have their own spines.

knarlie:

Charlie’d  had a crush on Knox ever since they met but assumed it would just go away naturally… it did not

Only realised how much he liked him when Knox met Chris

Tried so hard to be a  supportive best friend, would give Knox a pep talk and then go to his dorm and scream into his pillow 

The longing went crazy

Knox didn’t figure out he liked Charlie until after his relationship with Chris ended.

The moment he realised he liked Charlie he decided to woo the ever loving shit out of him.

Confessed to him at a dead poets society meeting.

The fun couple™ 

Mitts: 

Never got together officially just kind of figured out that they liked each other simultaneously and decided to go with it

Childhood friends

Always together

None of the other poets know about their relationship because they’ve always been like that

Only figure out how much they need each other when they graduate and get into  separate colleges 

Always paired up in every subject in school

They work better together because each one makes up for the other’s weakness

Chameron: 

As much as I love the idea that Cameron and Charlie used to be close pre-canon,

I personally believe their relationship has always been strained.

Cameron idolises Neil, because Neil was the only one who really made an effort to include him so Cameron would try and hang out with him as much as possible, that’s how he ended up meeting Charlie

Cameron has always liked Charlie and Envied him for how free he is (In my opinion Cameron has one of the biggest cases of eldest daughter syndrome i’ve ever seen.)

Charlie and Cameron become roommates and despite how badly they treat each other and how mean Charlie gets Cameron still does his hardest to take care of Charlie (i.e he helps Charlie with trigonometry even after Charlie’s spent the better part of an hour mocking him.) because he can not STAND the idea of being disliked by anyone.

Gets frustrated easily by Charlie because he feels like he’s wasting his potential.

Cameron realises how much he cares about Charlie because of the saxophone scene, he was genuinely taken aback by how talented and sincere he was being about something. 

Charlie has no idea he likes Cameron

 He's always been a little fixated on Cameron and  what started as thinly veiled concern quickly became resentment at Cameron’s refusal to have fun.

While Charlie makes fun of Cameron to get a reaction out of him it’s also to prove to himself that Cameron is still a teenager and not just some uptight golden boy with an inability to think for himself, he gets a strange sense of satisfaction from making Cameron loosen up and act human for once.

The closest they’re dynamic has ever come to banter was the back and forth they had  when Charlie told the other poets that his parents made him take clarinet lessons when he was younger.

It isn’t  until Cameron snitches on them that Charlie figures  his shit out, why Cameron’s betrayal  hurt him more than anyone else and that’s why he punches him.

Charlie knows he’ll get expelled but he does it anyway because he can handle liking an uptight, overly cautious, teacher's pet but he draws the line at sharing a room with a traitor, draws the line at loving a coward.  

Cameron doesn’t pine he yearns, yearns for someone he barely knew

He spends the rest of his years at Welton alone, grieving the death of one of his best friends and mourning the end of something that never even started.

The only way these two could ever have a happy ending together is if they went to therapy and if  Welton had a reunion.

leave a ship or fandom suggestions and I’ll do headcanons for them if you want :)

[bigfan-fanfic]

You May Sanctuary Find (Winchester!Reader x Winchester Bros [PLATONIC])

A sequel to Brother Mine and Back Into Trouble

The title this time comes from "Little Brother," a poem by Robert W. Service that really, I think, epitomizes the relationship between the eldest Winchester and his brothers, especially the last verse: "Little Brother, how I pray/You may sanctuary find. /Peoples of the world succumb . . ./Fly, poor fools, the WRATH TO COME!"

Anyway, this time, the story takes place after the 1st episode of Season Two, right after John's death.

He's gone. After all that, it wasn't even a direct kill from a monster that did it.

It had been hard - you hadn't been able to see him at the end, because since you actually had insurance, you were able to get some better care. It was only after that you learned about how Dean had nearly passed and John had apologized to him before... taking care of things himself.

Neither one of them is willing to talk. Which makes sense.

This family has never been very good at communication.

Even if he tried his best to make peace at the end, it's still hard not to hate him for what he's done.

Even to save Dean, you hate that he's still messing up your little brothers.

You hate that he never even made an effort to talk to you before it all.

But while you're raw, you know how to deal with this. You've mourned the father you knew better than Sam and Dean ever got to, the one before your mom died when you were seven and he disappeared forever, stolen and replaced by a grieving, vengeful hunter of monsters.

It's rough for Bobby to see you all like this, brought so low after you all had hope that something would change.

That you'd get a win for once.

You call in from Bobby's phone, let your assistant know that you've been in a car accident, that you'll be on the way home soon to recover.

"After all this?" you hear Dean say. "You're still leaving?"

"We did this to find Dad. We found him." you reply wearily.

"What about Yellow Eyes? You're not going to help us take down the son of a bitch that got both our parents?"

He's shouting now, approaching, clutching his side that still hurts from the bruising from the accident.

"I'm tired, Dean."

"Tired? You don't get to be tired! You don't get to leave us again!"

You turn away from him. Trying not to lash back. He's allowed to be angry. It's reasonable for him to be angry...

"You're just scared! You're too damn scared to own up and be part of this family. You never loved Dad like I did! Did you even care that Mom died?"

In a scarily fluid movement, you have him pinned to the wall, an arm across his throat and a hand holding down his wrist, already preventing the counterattack before it happened. The wind is knocked out of him, and for a moment, the hunter you were is back.

Such anger, like it was never dealt with. Like it never left. Like you're still the seven year old who lost his mother. Like the fourteen year old with monster blood on his hands. Like the twenty-one year old who hugged his brothers goodbye without the strength to even pray they'd meet again.

Rage and hate, rage and hate. Monster after witch after demon after trickster after monster.

You let him go. The final monster you kill is that hunter inside you.

"I wrote you letters for your birthday every year. I dunno if Dad gave them to you. I would ask you to visit. To stay." you say, almost whispering. You don't even know if it's loud enough for him to hear. "I sent money for Sam. For college. For a house. For you to settle down."

He's trembling. Anger? Remorse? Sorrow?

"I never wanted to leave you. You're my brothers. And after Mom died, and Dad went hunting... someone had to look out for you. Not just your health, but your futures. I still put money away for you. I keep a couple of rooms ready in my apartment for you two. I can't force you two to come with me. I just have to wait. And hope that I can someday protect you again. It's the hardest thing I've had to do."

You look at him, in the eye, forcing him to look back. "I can't do this anymore. Hunting. It brings out a part of me that... that I fear. A part of me that is angry and hateful, and who likes that because it's easier than facing what he fears. I'm done."

Dean turns away from you, face contorting, and you grab his arm.

"But I will never be done being your big brother, Dean. And when you're finally done too, when you're ready to just fucking rest...

"I will be there. I will be there with a home, and peace, and a life. I promise."

He looks at you, on the verge of breaking. "I can't. I have to do this. I have to protect Sammy."

You pull him into a hug. "Then I'll wait for you."

He melts into you, crying and holding on to you tight.

You remember back when you left, all those years ago - Dean had looked at you with such hate. You were dead to him then, for cutting off the family, for breaking Dad's heart.

And now he holds on, because now he knows what you've tried to do. What you're still doing.

"You do what you have to do, little brother." you whisper. "But when you're done, you come home."

"Okay. Okay, I will." He says, voice distorted with emotion, teeth gritted to try and stop crying.

"C-can I still call?" Dean whispers, when you let him go.

"Of course. I insist on it." You smile at him through tears. "I love you, Dean-o."

"Love you too, big brother."

Dean watches you go to find Sam, to say your goodbyes, and he lets himself cry. Bittersweet. He knows you're growing, that this is good, but already he misses you terribly. How is he going to handle this all alone? This terrible task Dad gave him, to protect Sammy, or take him out.

But though he is full of fear, there's a new sense of hope.

You'll only be a phone call away. You'll be waiting for him.

And to a man that has never once had an alternative, that makes all the difference.

[humansofnewyork]

(23/54) “Each night when I came home from parliament I’d find Mitra ready to go out. And no matter how tired I felt, off we would go. She always looked perfect. She stayed current with all the latest trends. Every few months she’d have her hair cut in the style of a different American actress. I loved having her by my side in social situations. I was horrible at parties. I could never think of the right thing to say. If I tried to make a joke, people would tickle themselves to laugh. But not Mitra. She was spontaneous, she was funny. Words came from her like light from a lamp. And she could speak to anyone. There were never any formalities. No warm-up. She’d talk to every person as if she’d known them her entire life. We’d go to gatherings with ten or fifteen of our friends; often Dr. Ameli would be there. As soon as Mitra walked in the room the silence would end. At some point in the evening the conversation would always turn to politics. And the moment I began to debate an issue, Mitra would take the other side. She would team up with anyone against me. The person never mattered. The topic never mattered. She never wanted to get me started, so she’d always shut me down. It’s how we’ve been our entire lives. I’ve been the gas, she’s been the brakes. I thought about her every time I wrote a speech. She’s always been my antithesis. The hardest for me to convince. It could sometimes seem like her main purpose in life was to oppose me. To the outside world our love made no sense. We seemed so far apart. But there are many types of closeness. And some the world will never see. We still read poetry together. Mitra still trusted me to find the melody. There was one poem called ‘Sin,’ by Forough Farrokhzad. It scandalized religious society; everyone was talking about it. But it was one of Mitra’s favorites, so I’d memorized the entire thing: 𝘐 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘯 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 / 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘳 / 𝘐 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘴 / 𝘩𝘰𝘵, 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 / 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘴 / 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 / 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘺 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴.”

 هر شب که از مجلس به خانه برمی‌گشتم، میترا را می‌دیدم که آماده‌ی بیرون رفتن بود، با همه‌ی خستگی‌ها باید می‌رفتم. بودنش در کنار من همیشه دلپذیر بود. خوش‌لباس بود. بریده‌های مجله را نزد خیاطش می‌برد و مو به مو آنچه را می‌خواست به او می‌گفت. موهایش همواره آراسته بود. هر چند ماه یکبار، موهایش را به سبک بازیگری آمریکایی به مدل‌های گوناگون کوتاه می‌کرد. در مهمانی‌ها آرامش نداشتم. هرگز نمی‌توانستم سخنان مناسبی برای گفت‌وگوی معمولی بیابم. هر بار تلاش می‌کردم شوخی کنم، مردم به زور می‌خندیدند. ولی میترا نه. واژگان به راحتی از دهانش بیرون می‌آمدند مانند نور از چراغ. او خودجوش بود، شوخ بود. می‌توانست با هر کس سخن بگوید. هیچ رودربایستی نداشت. نیازی به آمادگی نداشت. با هر کس چنان سخن می‌گفت که گویی همه‌ی عمر او را می‌شناخته است. با ده، پانزده تن از دوستان‌مان دوره داشتیم؛ در پاره‌ای از مهمانی‌ها دکتر عاملی هم می‌آمد. همین که میترا به اتاق وارد می‌شد، خاموشی پایان می‌یافت. زمانی می‌رسید که گفت‌وگوها به سیاست می‌گرایید. درست زمانی که من وارد بحثی می‌شدم، میترا بی‌درنگ جانب شخص مقابل را می‌گرفت. او در برابر من با هر کس متحد می‌شد. مهم نبود چه کسی‌ست. مهم نبود زمینه‌ی گفت‌وگو چیست. او تنها می‌خواست مرا ساکت کند. من چون پِدال گاز بودم و او چون ترمز. هر گاه متن یک سخنرانی را می‌نوشتم، به میترا فکر می‌کردم. او همواره نقطه‌ی مقابل من بوده است. سرسخت‌ترین شخصی که می‌بایستی متقاعد می‌کردم او بود. گاه به نظر می‌رسید که هدف بزرگ او در زندگی مخالفت با من بوده است. از دیدگاه دنیای بیرونی، عشق ما منطقی نمی‌نمو��. بسیار دور از هم به نظر می‌رسیدیم. ولی گونه‌های بسیار از نزدیکی وجود دارند و برخی را دنیا هرگز نتواند دید. ما همچنان با هم شعر می‌خوانیم. میترا هنوز باور دارد که من آهنگ شعر را به درستی درمی‌یابم. شعری‌ست از سروده‌های فروغ فرخزاد به نام «گناه». این شعر جامعه‌ی مذهبی را به چالش می‌کشید؛ همه درباره‌ی آن سخن می‌گفتند. میترا این شعر را چندان دوست داشت که آنرا از بر کرده بود: گنه کردم گناهی پر ز لذت / در آغوشی که گرم و آتشین بود / گنه کردم میان بازوانی / که داغ و کینه‌جوی و آهنین بود / در آن خلوتگه تاریک و خاموش / نگه کردم به چشم پر ز رازش / دلم در سینه بی‌تابانه لرزید / زخواهش‌های چشم پر نیازش

[giftfromblythe]

Live

Walk beneath the stars Taste the awe within Tell them who you are And all you seek to win Press into your shoulders The weight of all the world Lift it from your brothers And watch as they’re unfurled Give the storm inside you An unfamiliar name Let it transform into A complete lack of shame Dance under the moonlight Sing in the bright sun Pray you’ve won your hardest fight When all is said and done

Ten years ago as of tomorrow afternoon, I was in the ER following my averted suicide attempt.  A lot has changed since then; it was, in all respects, a life-changing event: simultaneously the most traumatic and most triumphant moment of my life.  In many ways, I feel as if I have only started to live after that moment, as if all of my life before it (though it was two thirds of my life) was just a sort of holding pattern and it took that horrifically beautiful instant of choosing to live to free myself from a self-inflicted prison.  Getting help that day did not automatically end my suffering, but it gave me the tools I needed to be genuinely happy.

At the time that I wrote this poem, during one of my subsequent depressive episodes, it was a reminder to myself—a reminder that there is so much to live for, that there is a precious sort of defiance in happiness that has endured through pain.  Now, it’s a celebration.  I have done exactly what I hoped for in this poem: I’ve lived to the absolute fullest of my capacity at each moment—a capacity that continues to grow with everything I learn about myself and the world.  I will continue to live in that beautiful, intense way.  It will only get better.

This joy I have now is something I would not have had if I had made a different choice that day ten years ago.  I wouldn’t have had the sorrow either…because I wouldn’t have had anything.  I would much rather have all these memories and experiences I have now than have gone to my death without ever having been happy.  There’s a fierceness to the moments of beauty in the last ten years that I wouldn’t trade for the world.  As far as I’m concerned, they’re more precious for the fact that I had to fight my own brain for them.

It’s a fight that might have to continue, but it has gotten easier over these past ten years.  It’s a comfortable habit now, instead of a vicious struggle every time.

Ultimately, these days, I’m happy, I’m living, and even the most challenging moments aren’t dimming my joy.

What else can a person ask for?  I have the most important part of my life: my life.

All of this came about because I chose to get help in the most terrifying moment I have ever experienced…and turned it into the moment that changed everything for the better.

I hope my story has given you a reason to fight on too.  As always, thank you for reading.  Take care, listen well, and share your stories.

—Blythe

[seospicybin]

im not a writer so im often very curious about some questions. i hope you don’t mind me asking them!

1) what’s the wildest idea you have thought about for writing but haven’t done YET?

2) do you hear your characters’ voices when you write or is it like a movie that plays out in your head?

3) what’s a line or scene you’ve written and you’re reaaaallly proud of it?

4) what’s the weirdest thing you’ve recently googled for while writing a fic?

5) is writing a kiss scene more harder or is writing an action scene more hard? like for example too hot to handle or two truths and one lie depends more on just romance and pwp (if you don’t mind me using that word). while jeongin’s fic fatal attraction or seungmin’s national anthem is more political and more action plot

6) if you could take a vacation in any of your fics, what would it be?

7) do you ever write something and then sit back like, ‘wow, i’m a genius,’ or is that just me projecting on your talent?

1. I wouldn’t call it the wildest idea but I've been working on this plot for skz ot8 heist fic since two years ago. I'm struggling bcs I don't want to leave any loopholes in the story and it frustrates me so much bcs I want to make it happen so badly 😭

2. I'm a very visual person so the scenes played out in my head like movies and if only you could watch it too... it's more beautiful in there 😂

3. All the scenes of Minho and yn in the cabin in Till Death Do Us Part, I always wanted to write dark romance and I'm just proud of the tension and suspense I created in the story. As for lines, my recent favorite is this bcs idk if you noticed but I intentionally made it rhymes like a poem. It's from Neptune: “The sunlight hits right on Hyunjin’s eyes, making them shine as he stares at you. You know you've only known him for barely a day but Hyunjin knows things most people doesn't know about you. He knows you prefer your flowers to be red than blue, he knows your dreams you never say out loud but you secretly wish to come true and that makes you feel significant to him as he is significant to you. You believe that is how Hyunjin going to make a mark on you.”

Also this one from Thinning: "But people oftentimes hide behind the 'actions speak louder than words' and that makes them okay with love left unsaid. No one is a mind reader. If you love someone, they want you to verbalize how you feel. This is real life, not a chess game."

4. A lot of weird stuff, it's alarming that I fear the FBI is going to break into my house at any moment. Recently, I googled a lot abt poker and math formulas, a research for this fic idea I have in mind.

5. The hardest scene to write imo is fighting scene. Action scene is alright but when the characters start physically fighting each other. I can’t quite nail that kind of scene yet. Kiss scene is also a bit tricky but it's because you want readers to feel their chemistry rather than the action itself.

6. Vacation in one of my fics? Honestly, I just want to hang out with the Oddinary family from the Crowd series, have cheese pizzas with them and maybe get a tattoo or two. I think that would be wholesome 😍

7. I won't lie that sometimes when I reread my fics, I amaze myself and be like "WAIT, I WROTE THAT?!?!???" Maybe you are the genius, babe but me? Nah, definitely me. I'm not that good. Yet. 🙈

Hope these answer your curiosity. Would gladly take some more questions if you still have them 😊

[noodles-even-less-stable]

hiii!

Sorry, this isn't what I'd normally randomly write to you about, just felt lonely and wondered about some stuff, too much chaos in my head so I'll just hang around here a bit

Everything's been too much lately, and I'm thinking on too many big things.

I want to change lives, I want to change systems, and help people, and I can't even change small things in my life?

I'm wondering what the purpose of this all is

I'm burning out and there's so much of my life left, how does one even make a difference

Anyway, sorry for this ramble, I'm actually your mutual just I wanted to write this anonymously for some reason.... sorry again if this was idk too much, just midnight thoughts

Hey, I have a pretty good guess who this is (even before you mentioned you're a mutual) but I'll let you exist anonymously if that makes you more comfortable

I'm going to post this answe because I'm sure someone else might need to hear it.

Your only goal is to do the best you can in the moment. Each moment that can look different. Some days the best you can do is breath and stay in bed. Others you can go out adventuring. Some days it's doing one big task like grocery shopping. Others it's doom scrolling for hours. Whatever the best you can do today is, that's okay. The fact you're alive and surviving is enough.

You change lives by just being alive. You changed partners lives, animals lives, your friends and mutuals live by just existing in them. You have no idea how many lives you've been able to help by just being you.

Sometimes the small things are the hardest to change. People spend months contemplating cutting an inch off their hair, or getting a piercing. Deciding what to eat for dinner can be one of the most taxing things of the day. Sometimes, it's the small things that are hard to change, because it's all the little things that make a big difference.

I doubt this will help but it needs to be said. What's the purpose? There isn't one. We are all smaller than a spec of dust in the vastness that is the universe. There may not be a point but isn't it amazing? The probability you, and only you as you are, as a being, is so small. You are a mythical. A mathematical near impossibility but here you are. Defying the laws of science by existing. Merely your DNA compounding into you is 1 in 400,000,000,000,000,000. Just the chance your parents would meet us 1 in 20,000 and that's not including them talking, dating and having a kid. You are an amazing phenomenon. Absolutely one of a kind. There's only been an estimated 109 billion people on this earth. For the entire estimated possibility of the world and humans, you will be the only you to ever exist. If that's not purpose enough I don't know what is

Anyways I doubt it will help but I wrote this poem a week ago and it might apply. Still a rough draft but oh well

Hope you feel better soon 💖

[kingedmundsroyalmurder]

Content warning for abelism, both in the language used to refer to a disabled character and also in how said character is treated. Content warning also for Eric being a creep.

Eric returns to the orchard and, now that he has unlocked her backstory, Kilmeny is here! And she doesn't run away this time! He immediately takes advantage of this by invading her personal space!

"Seeing this, he walked slowly towards her, and when he was so close to her that he could hear the nervous flutter of her breath over her parted, trembling lips, he said very gently,

“Do not be afraid of me. I am a friend, and I do not wish to disturb or annoy you in any way.”

She seemed to hesitate a moment. Then she lifted a little slate that hung at her belt, wrote something on it rapidly, and held it out to him. He read, in a small distinctive handwriting,

“I am not afraid of you now. Mother told me that all strange men were very wicked and dangerous, but I do not think you can be. I have thought a great deal about you, and I am sorry I ran away the other night."

Look, this is trying its very hardest to be a meet-cute. Eric is blushing and gentle, Kilmeny is hesitant but interested. Maud is trying so hard to make this chemistry happen.

It is not happening. It is not happening because, as I said before, Eric's charm is entirely ruined by the fact that we are in his head. If we were seeing this through a 3rd party? Could maybe be cute! I mean probably not, because of the aforementioned personal space violation and also the fact that he didn't apologize for scaring her, but it could be if you worked at it hard enough! But Eric's inner monologue is not cute. Eric's inner monologue is consistently condescending at best. We know he doesn't feel bad for scaring her, he feels annoyed at her for being scared. Not cute.

This is cemented by Eric's habit of asking her questions that are actually orders. "Won’t you play for me?" "And now won’t you give me some flowers?" Definitely not cute, sorry.

There is one brief moment where he realizes how not cute this could all get, even if he can only express it via ableism: "The next moment he was angry with himself for his folly. She was, after all, nothing but a child—and a child set apart from her fellow creatures by her sad defect. He must not let himself think nonsense." I would like to think that this is Eric recognizing the power difference between them. I fear it is actually Eric just going, 'she's just a kid, can't marry a kid, not good enough to be a wife yet.'

“Yes, but what I mean is, would you like me better if I could speak like other people?”

My heart is officially broken for Kilmeny and she's only had like three lines. I want to whisk her away from her family and give her some friends who don't tell her she's less than human and fully undesirable because she can't speak.

“No, it does not make any difference in that way, Kilmeny. By the way, do you mind my calling you Kilmeny?”

And Eric is back to being almost charming! I really think that if he'd been whacked on the head by Anne Shirley or equivalent as a kid he would have been redeemable! He's only 24, there's still time to grow as a person! It's just that he really should have done that growing before meeting Kilmeny, for her sake.

"Eric told her of his life, and the life in the great outer world, in which she was girlishly and eagerly interested. She asked him many questions about it—direct and incisive questions which showed that she had already formed decided opinions and views about it. Yet it was plain to be seen that she did not regard it as anything she might ever share herself. Hers was the dispassionate interest with which she might have listened to a tale of the land of fairy or of some great empire long passed away from earth."

So in the Kilmeny poem, one of the things Kilmeny does in fairy land is she observes great dramas being played out in other worlds. She sees a queen brought to her knees by a treacherous lover and she sees great wars and battles. I think this passage is a direct callback to that part of the poem. Kilmeny Gordon is trapped in fairy land, watching mortal dramas play out before her without any ability to interact with them.

Kilmeny vehemently does not want to go out into the world. This makes me question Eric's interpretation of her music earlier. While I know narratively what's going to happen is that under her fear and trauma she really does want to leave and the music was unconsciously expressing that, I would very much like it if Eric had actually just been wrong. She was playing a song and he read into it something that wasn't there. That would be nice.

I don't think we're going to get nice things, alas.

Especially not when we end with this: "Unconsciously and involuntarily he infused so much triumph into the simple monosyllable that even old Robert felt it. Mrs. Williamson, who was cutting bread at the end of the table, laid down her knife and loaf, and looked at the young man with a softly troubled expression in her eyes. She wondered if he had been back to the Connors orchard—and if he could have seen Kilmeny Gordon again." Triumph, is it Eric? You've met the woman your heart yearns for, had a long conversation with her, promised to meet her again tomorrow, and the emotion you are feeling is triumph. That bodes poorly.

[goneahead]

I was tagged by @radiowrites and @stephmcx thank you♥️!!

Hi! I am @goneahead on tumblr. I am also goneahead on A03 and goneahead over on dreamwidth (see links in my pinned post - my internet has gone wonky again)

So, this was definitely not one of my better years. I have three WIPs and while I plodded away at all three, I was never happy enough to post new chapters.

What’s really sad is I finally hit 1 million words posted on dreamwidth—and then I pretty much struck out this year. I’m mostly posting this cuz I think its good for newer writers to realize that yes, even experienced writers have years where things just go all pear-shaped.

My grand total for fanfic was: 1,513😳

I don’t keep track of my poetry word count, but I started the year writing poem #926 and ended the year writing poem #947

Total Number of Fanfics: about 150

Total Number Of Completed Works: this year? 0

Total Number of WIPS worked on this year: 3

How Many WIPs do you still have: 4

Looking back, did you write more than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? Much less. In fact, this year was pretty much a bust.

Did you take any writing risks this year? Well considering I spent all year writing three fics and wasnt happy enough to post anything….

Biggest Surprise: I would love to say I was surprised at how little I posted, but I am a disorganized idjit and—yeah. nobody is shocked.

Biggest Disappointment: see above😆

Do you have any writing goals for the new year? Finish Home verse. Let’s see how that goes….

Fanfiction Questions Below! (if you don’t write fanfiction feel free to skip or rework the questions for your original works.)

Fandoms I’ve written in this year? Hawaii Five-0

Your most popular story of the year? sadly, I didn’t post a new story, just a poem and a tiny addition to another verse.

The story that was easiest/or most fun to write? Still enjoying my MIB AU. Now if I could actually finish it…

Hardest story to write: Lead Me Through the Fire from 2022 was one of those fics where all the different pieces of the plot had to fit together just so. I spent more time than I’d like to admit second-guessing myself on how I arranged the chapters.

Your sweetest funniest story: I have a soft spot for Hawaii Five-0’s Eric Russo. The character is very funny and often wildly inappropriate. I wrote a scene in one of my WIPs where Eric is just soooo Eric

Your saddest scene: I didn’t write anything sad this year.

The sexiest moment you’ve written this year? again, nada.

Your favorite tag: diplomatic javelining😆

Most unintentionally telling story: hmmm. I can’t think of anything too revealing in my fic? Except a tendency to write too many AUs?

Are any of your fics named after/heavily inspired by music? Yes. A lot of my fics have their own playlists and that music definitely influenced those fics. I don’t usually share these songs—or name my fics after songs—because I listen to a lot of obscure stuff most people have never heard of.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? I continued to get a lot of interesting and thought-provoking comments on Care and Feeding of a Super SEAL this year. There are many amazing fix-it fics for S10xE22 written by insanely talented writers—so its crazy and humbling that people are continuing to read and comment on mine.

Fanfiction risks you took this year? sadly, none.

My favorite part of fandom this year: We had new people join our fandom!

You know, I really don’t get what has happened to fandoms these last few years. It used to be that fans just shrugged and continued to write, create, and have fun—even their fandom didn’t have any new content being made. Am I the only one who thinks its weird that most fans now book it for the nearest exit as soon as a show is canceled or a movie series is over?

letsee, tagging um, @cowandcalf @bennyokelly @itwoodbeprefect @stellagioia @redgoldblue

[mychemicalrachel]

as a devoted reader of magnetic and your writing in general i looove the possibility to ask you questions about it, sooooo: 18, 26 and 32 of the weird questions!!! thank you <3

Ahhh thank you so much!!! 🥰 Lucky for you, I love talking about it too 😂😂

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

This is probably the hardest question, I cannot think of a single passage I want to talk to about 😭 so I'm going to talk about a whole entire aspect of Magnetic that changed as i wrote! When I first started writing Magnetic, I had no intention of killing Kavinsky. I had an ending planned where Ronan never went to rehab, he got clean on his own, and he and Adam got together sooner. The only thing that bothered me about that plan was that there's no way Kavinsky would have just moved on and left Ronan alone, so I had to find a way to get rid of him; ergo, I killed him and it ended up changing the whole trajectory of the fic!

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

Music music music!!!!! I listen to songs that remind me of specific characters or that I think that character would listen to. I've never gone so far into a character's head that "getting out" is a problem. I can just step away from writing and leave it all there without taking it with me.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

REALITY IS WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DREAM FOR YOU. Kavinsky is so fucking poetic and that line goes so hard. As a creator who sometimes hides in my own little world, it just really resonates with me. I want it tattooed on my face 🖤

[Weird asks for weird writers]

[freewriterewrite]

A Poem a Day

Being a writer in this world means going through a lot of rejection. But that doesn’t stop Professor Luke Reynolds from writing every single day. He always makes time for his writing, whether poems or a longer story. Writing every day will improve your writing and he lives and dies by this. He says that “its like exercise,” and if he hasn’t written that day, he can “feel the need to do it to stay healthy”. Luke Reynolds is an author and professor at Endicott College. Before he taught at Endicott, he was a middle and high school teacher in Connecticut and Massachusetts. He graduated from Gordon College in 2003 and went to Northern Arizona University for his Masters in 2008. Finally 2017, he got a PhD in Philosophy from Boston College. He writes every day in his office at home or work. He also loves writing outside and says He has published 17 books but has written many more that haven’t seen the light of day. Rejection is a part of the writing process and will help you continue to improve. New writers have a lot of hope as it is very easy to publish books on Amazon. Reynolds has some fantastic advice if you are inspired to be a writer.

What books or movies inspire you to write or have inspired you to write? 

 The film that most inspired me was Finding Forester.  It's with Sean Connery, and it is. It's an old, aging writer who who befriends this young teenager, and the bond the two of them form very, very cool. The best book on writing I've ever read is The Lie That Tells the Truth, by John Dufresne and it's a cool book all about the creative process.

Do you enjoy writing scripts, novels, short stories, or poems?

 I think my favorite thing to write is poetry. Especially now as a father of four. And when I write novels, it often feels like I need a few hours at a time to get into it, whereas it's busy. Yeah, in a poem, I've got 10 minutes. Let me just be creative and write a poem. So it's easier in a life that feels frantic sometimes. The most enjoyable thing to write is a novel so you can get lost in this world. 

Is there a genre that you prefer to write in?

My favorite genre is probably middle grade fiction. Okay, so fiction for middle school students, like coming of age, story for sure. 

Is there a reason?

That was probably due to that time in my life. You know when some writers have said you often write about the time in your life that was the most confusing and the hardest because you're always trying to tell stories to figure it out. And that's true for me. I tend to write toward middle school because that was a very confusing time, so I keep telling stories to understand it,

How did you get into writing?

I fell in love with writing when I was in fifth grade. I had a teacher named Mr. Looney who let us write anything we wanted in class, and that was the first moment when I felt like writing was not this formal endeavor to be done for a grade but an act of creative freedom. Since then, I've not been able to stop writing.

What do you use to motivate yourself to write?

A lot of things. On the one hand, it's also a, it's a very mental health thing. So, there's a lot of good research on writing and how just the act of writing physically is such a relief for, you know, our bodies, our minds. So that's almost like exercise, right? In some ways, like every day, if I haven't written a poem, in my journal, a script, or a novel, it's almost like I can feel like I need to do it just to stay healthy. So that's one good motivator. The other good motivator is my students. So, one of the first books I ever published was I wrote it for my middle school students when I was a middle school teacher. So sometimes, it can motivate me to think I'm writing this for these people, which can be helpful.

What do you love most about writing?

A few thoughts come to mind, like, one of the best feelings is like finishing a novel and then printing it on the printer, and seeing a printer print out, you know, 200 pages, and holding it and feeling like, wow, that like I created this, yeah, beautiful feeling or so that's pretty cool. And then also, because I probably have a little OCD, there's the sense of finishing a book project and seeing every piece of punctuation and seeing the page now. There's just something that feels deeply satisfying. 

What piece of advice would you give to an aspiring author or writer?

I can't say this was my own advice, but it's, it's advice that's been given to me, and it's the best advice I ever got, very, very simple, and it's the only thing that matters for a writer, and it's writing every day. Write every day. Write every day, no matter what you write, no matter how long, no matter how short it could be a minute or an hour, but every day, just write something, write a letter, write an email, write poetry. The more you do it, it just becomes a part of you, and it doesn't matter if it's bad or good. 

How should a new author approach the publishing process? 

So there it's, it's the best time to try to be a writer. Because, 30 years ago, in our 25-30 years ago, when I was first looking at how you published, it was pretty narrow. You had to go this, what we call the traditional publishing route, in which you get a literary agent or you send things to a book publishing company, like a random house or somewhere else. You'd send it off and wait six months, and they'd write back and say, No thanks, and you'd start the process again. It was very long and hard. Now, because of the proliferation of online publishing, some websites publish poetry and all kinds of things like that, but there are also, as you mentioned, so many self-publishing routes. So if someone wanted to publish a book 25 years ago, even if they decided I'm just going to self-publish, they had to have money to pay for it. But now Amazon has a self-publishing program where you don't need any money. Somebody could write a 200-page novel, upload it to Amazon's platform, design their cover, and hit publish, and it's available everywhere in the world, and you pay nothing, and somebody pays when they buy it. You could publish your book, pay five bucks, get a copy of your book a week later, and say, Here, I wrote this book. So that's cool because it means you could hold your book in your hands for whoever does the work. That said, there are certain perks to going the traditional route of, hey, I'm going to write a novel. Send it to some publishing companies. If they were to publish it, they would give you an advance. So they might say, We're going to buy this from you for $10,000, and then a year later, it's published, and then you earn money from that, which goes against the 10,000 they paid you. There are benefits, like working with a traditional company, where they have an editor, so your writing becomes stronger. So traditional publishing is still very awesome. It just takes a lot longer.

Have you self-published?

[Just] traditional. I've done it, but now I am thinking because it's such a slow process. Simon and Schuster have published a lot of my work, and I like working with them, but it's slow, and it takes, you know, a year to come out. Then so it feels very good to have this amazing team of editors, but on the other hand, and then if they don't like a project, they'll say no, and so then you're kind of like, but I still think it's a good book. It should be in the world. So lately, I've been thinking about more of that self-publishing route, but I've always done traditional publishing. 

Are you still writing novels?

So, I still write a lot, and I still have a lot of projects and things up in the air. And I try to write every day, not always a lot, but I try to write, trying to write every day. And it feels good to do it and send things out. I enjoy the process of trying to find a publisher. So you could send, you know, say you were to write a novel, you don't have to send it to just one publisher at a time. There are simultaneous submissions. You could send it to 20 publishers. So there's something fun in finishing a novel and saying, I'm going to send it to these 20 people. And then over the next few, four or five, six months, you start getting replies, and sometimes they all say no, but then if one says yes, it's awesome, you know, Christmas morning,

[amaryllis-sagitta]

Zbigniew Herbert, Troubles of a Minor Creator

transl. Alissa Valles, from: Collected Poems 1956-1998

1

Whelp of the empty realms of a still unfinished world I wear my hands to the bone laboring over the beginning

With a pilgrim’s foot I tamped earth fragile as dandelion fluff

with an eyelid’s double-beat I consolidated the heavens and with insane imagination made them a shade of blue

I cried out when real touch confirmed an image of rock and I won’t forget the time I tore my skin on hawthorn

I stored names of plants of beasts in a chink I dug out with a finger then lying in the grass I admired the fern’s shape the peacock’s tail

in the end I wished to take rest in a wave’s shade on white rock I wrote a natural history a complete guide to the species from a salt grain to the moon from amoeba to angel

This is for you dear posterity so your light dreams will not be crushed by stones when night ravages the world again

2

You cannot pass on the knowledge yours is the ear and yours the touch each of us must build from scratch his own infinity his own beginning

the hardest is to cross the abyss that yawns beyond a fingernail to discover with a daring hand a strange world’s lips and eyes

— it’s good for small planets washed by gentle blood eyes closed —

if you put trust in your five senses the world contracts into a hazelnut

if you believe impetuous thoughts you will go on big telescope stilts far away into the certain darkness

this must in fact be your destiny to be made without ready forms as one who knows and forgets

it’s not for you to dream of a moment when the head will be a constant star not with a hand but with bundled rays you will greet an earth already extinct

(Chord of Light, 1956)

[christmas-everyday-club]

101 Christmas Quiz Question and Answers

Are you a Noel-it-all? Do you know your Christmas? Test your festive knowledge with these 101 Christmas quiz question and answers that are also great for family parties. Christmas is the best time of the year and even though it is already a fun celebration, why not increase the fun metre at your family get togethers or Christmas parties with these Christmas quiz question and answers. These Christmas quiz question and answers can be done alone of course, but I recommend playing with others together or virtually as it will be more fun. The answers are directly below so try your hardest not to look or cheat if you play on your own. I have broken the questions down into different categories so you can take breaks, or pick which types of questions you want to do first, but all in all, there is 101 Christmas quiz question and answers for you to work through. So take a drink of that mulled wine and lets dive right in…

General Christmas Knowledge:

Dive into the enchanting world of Christmas with our "General Christmas Knowledge" chapter. Test your yuletide expertise and discover fascinating facts about the traditions, legends, and global celebrations that make this season truly special. From timeless classics to quirky customs, this chapter is a delightful journey through the heartwarming and festive essence of Christmas. Join us as we unwrap the magic together! - What year was the song "Jingle Bells" written? - Answer: 1857 - In which country did the tradition of Christmas trees originate? - Answer: Germany - What is the main ingredient in the traditional Christmas drink eggnog? - Answer: Eggs - Which popular Christmas figure is also known as Kris Kringle? - Answer: Santa Claus - What is the title of Charles Dickens' famous Christmas novella? - Answer: A Christmas Carol - In which month is Christmas celebrated in most parts of the world? - Answer: December - What plant is often used as a decoration during the Christmas season? - Answer: Holly - What is the name of the period leading up to Christmas Day? - Answer: Advent - According to the song, what did my true love give to me on the seventh day of Christmas? - Answer: Seven Swans A-Swimming - What is the traditional meat served for Christmas dinner in England? - Answer: Turkey

Christmas Movies and TV Shows:

Get ready for a cinematic sleigh ride through the magic of the silver screen! Our "Christmas Movies and TV Shows" chapter is a holiday treat for film buffs and festive enthusiasts alike. Test your knowledge of beloved classics, heartwarming tales, and iconic moments that have graced our screens during this merry season. From timeless favorites to hidden gems, this chapter is your ticket to a holly-jolly quiz experience filled with nostalgia and laughter. Grab the popcorn, settle in, and let the holiday movie magic begin! - In the movie "Home Alone," where are the McCallister family going on vacation? - Answer: Paris - Who played George Bailey in the classic Christmas film "It's a Wonderful Life"? - Answer: James Stewart - What is the name of the character played by Tim Allen in the movie "The Santa Clause"? - Answer: Scott Calvin - Which 2003 Christmas film features Will Ferrell as Buddy, a human raised by elves? - Answer: Elf - What animated TV special features a character named Yukon Cornelius? - Answer: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - In the movie "A Christmas Story," what does Ralphie want for Christmas? - Answer: Red Ryder BB Gun - Who wrote the poem "The Night Before Christmas"? - Answer: Clement Clarke Moore - What is the name of the Grinch's dog in "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"? - Answer: Max - In the movie "The Polar Express," what is the name of the train conductor? - Answer: Hero Boy's Dad - What is the highest-grossing Christmas movie of all time? - Answer: Home Alone

Christmas Traditions Around the World:

Embark on a festive journey as we explore the rich tapestry of holiday traditions across the globe. In our "Christmas Traditions Around the World" chapter, you'll encounter a delightful mix of customs, folklore, and unique celebrations that make this season truly international. From the enchanting to the unexpected, test your knowledge of how different cultures deck the halls and ring in the holiday cheer. Get ready for a global adventure through the heartwarming diversity of Christmas traditions! - In Italy, who is said to bring gifts to children on Epiphany Eve? - Answer: La Befana - What is the traditional Christmas dessert in Mexico? - Answer: Tamales - In which country is it a tradition to celebrate Christmas with a feast of the "12 dishes"? - Answer: Poland - What is the Japanese Christmas tradition? - Answer: Eating KFC on Christmas Day - In Sweden, what do people celebrate on December 13th? - Answer: St. Lucia's Day - What is the traditional Christmas greeting in Hawaii? - Answer: Mele Kalikimaka - In which country is it common to celebrate Christmas with a "Juletide" feast? - Answer: Norway - What is the traditional Christmas bread in Germany? - Answer: Stollen - In which country do children traditionally receive gifts on St. Nicholas Day (December 6th)? - Answer: Netherlands - What is the traditional Christmas dish in Puerto Rico? - Answer: Pasteles

Christmas Music:

Step into the melodic wonderland of the holiday season with our "Christmas Music" chapter. From timeless carols to modern classics, this musical journey is a festive symphony of joy and nostalgia. Test your knowledge of the tunes that soundtrack our yuletide celebrations, and discover the stories behind the melodies that make Christmas truly magical. Whether you're singing along or tapping your toes, this chapter is a merry celebration of the harmonious spirit of Christmas! - Who recorded the original version of the song "Santa Baby"? - Answer: Eartha Kitt - What Christmas song begins with the lyrics, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire"? - Answer: "The Christmas Song" (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire) - What is the best-selling Christmas song of all time? - Answer: "White Christmas" by Bing Crosby - Who sang "Last Christmas" in the 1980s? - Answer: Wham! - In the song "Feliz Navidad," what does Jose Feliciano wish you? - Answer: A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year - Which rock band released the song "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)"? - Answer: U2 - Who wrote and originally recorded the song "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree"? - Answer: Brenda Lee - What Christmas song is also known as "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire"? - Answer: "The Christmas Song" - Which Christmas carol includes the lyrics "O Holy Night, the stars are brightly shining"? - Answer: "O Holy Night" - Who performed the song "Do They Know It's Christmas?" with Band Aid in 1984? - Answer: Various artists

Christmas Food and Treats:

Indulge your taste buds in the delectable delights of the season with our "Christmas Food and Treats" chapter. From traditional feasts to sweet confections, this culinary adventure is a mouthwatering celebration of the flavors that define Christmas. Test your knowledge of festive dishes, explore global culinary customs, and discover the ingredients that make holiday meals a savory symphony. Get ready for a delicious quiz that brings the magic of Christmas straight to your plate! Join us as we savor the festive feast, one question at a time. - What is the main ingredient in a traditional Christmas mince pie? - Answer: Mincemeat (fruit and spice mixture) - In the United Kingdom, what is the traditional meat served on Boxing Day? - Answer: Roast Beef - What is the Italian Christmas cake made with dried fruit and nuts? - Answer: Panettone - What is the primary ingredient in the Scandinavian Christmas dish lutefisk? - Answer: Dried Fish (usually cod) - What spice is commonly associated with gingerbread cookies? - Answer: Ginger - What beverage is traditionally served in a "wassail bowl" during the Christmas season? - Answer: Wassail (spiced punch) - In which country is it customary to eat a Christmas meal consisting of "KFC" (Kentucky Fried Chicken)? - Answer: Japan - What is the main ingredient in the traditional Christmas dessert Buche de Noel? - Answer: Sponge cake or Genoise - What type of nut is used in the classic Christmas treat marzipan? - Answer: Almonds - What is the traditional Christmas dessert in England? - Answer: Christmas Pudding

Christmas Pop Culture:

Dive into the merry intersection of entertainment and the holiday season with our "Christmas Pop Culture" chapter. From iconic movies and TV specials to viral moments that defined the year, this quiz is a celebration of Christmas in the spotlight. Test your knowledge of the pop culture phenomena that have become synonymous with the season, and discover the trivia that transforms your favorite characters and celebrities into festive icons. Get ready for a quiz that merges the magic of Christmas with the glamour of pop culture! Lights, camera, festive action—let the quiz begin! - In "A Charlie Brown Christmas," what does Lucy ask for in her letter to Santa? - Answer: Real Estate - What is the name of the reindeer that narrates the poem "Twas the Night Before Christmas"? - Answer: Donder (or Donner) - What is the name of the elf played by Will Ferrell in the movie "Elf"? - Answer: Buddy - In the song "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer," what was Grandma doing when she got run over? - Answer: Walking home from our house on Christmas Eve - In the animated TV special "Frosty the Snowman," who brings Frosty to life? - Answer: The magic hat - What holiday does George Costanza celebrate instead of Christmas in the TV show "Seinfeld"? - Answer: Festivus - In "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," what is Rudolph's father's name? - Answer: Donner - What does Buddy the Elf put on all of his food in the movie "Elf"? - Answer: Syrup - In the movie "The Polar Express," what is the first gift of Christmas? - Answer: A bell from Santa's sleigh - In the TV show "The Office," what does Dwight Schrute dress up as for Christmas in Season 3? - Answer: Belsnickel

Christmas Literature:

Immerse yourself in the enchanting world of words with our "Christmas Literature" chapter. This quiz is a celebration of the timeless tales, classic novels, and heartwarming stories that have become cherished holiday traditions. Test your knowledge of literary masterpieces that capture the spirit of Christmas, and explore the characters and narratives that have warmed our hearts for generations. Join us in a festive journey through the pages of Christmas literature, where every question unfolds a new chapter of holiday magic! Curl up with a cup of cocoa—let the literary quiz adventure commence! - What is the name of the boy who receives a magical gift on Christmas Eve in "The Polar Express"? - Answer: Hero Boy - Who wrote the children's book "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"? - Answer: Dr. Seuss - What is the name of the little girl in "The Nutcracker" ballet? - Answer: Clara - What is the title of the short story by O. Henry in which a poor young couple gives up their most prized possessions for Christmas gifts? - Answer: "The Gift of the Magi" - In the poem "A Visit from St. Nicholas," what are the names of Santa's reindeer? - Answer: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder (or Donner), Blitzen - Who wrote the book "A Christmas Carol"? - Answer: Charles Dickens - In the ballet "The Nutcracker," who is the main antagonist? - Answer: The Mouse King - What is the name of the main character in the children's book "The Snowman" by Raymond Briggs? - Answer: James - What is the title of the poem that begins with "Twas the night before Christmas"? - Answer: "A Visit from St. Nicholas" - Who wrote the song "All I Want for Christmas Is You"? - Answer: Mariah Carey and Walter Afanasieff

Christmas Technology and Innovation:

Explore the cutting edge of Christmas with our "Christmas Technology and Innovation" chapter. This quiz is a fascinating blend of the latest tech trends and innovations that have transformed the way we celebrate the season. Test your knowledge of festive gadgets, digital marvels, and the ways technology has added a modern touch to our holiday traditions. Join us in unraveling the digital wonders that make Christmas merrier in the 21st century! Get ready to plug in and power up the festive quiz experience! - What year did the first commercially sold Christmas card appear? - Answer: 1843 - Who invented electric Christmas lights? - Answer: Edward H. Johnson (Thomas Edison’s partner) - What company introduced the first artificial Christmas tree in the 1930s? - Answer: Addis Brush Company - In what year did NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Command) start tracking Santa on Christmas Eve? - Answer: 1955 - What popular Christmas decoration was originally a symbol of hospitality in the 19th century? - Answer: Mistletoe - Which technology company produced the first widely successful consumer digital camera, popularizing Christmas morning photography? - Answer: Kodak - In what year did the first televised Christmas message by a British monarch occur? - Answer: 1957 (Queen Elizabeth II) - What is the name of the Christmas-themed computer virus that first appeared in 1989? - Answer: Christmas Tree EXEC - In 1968, the crew of Apollo 8 sent a special Christmas Eve message from space. What did they do during the broadcast? - Answer: Read from the Book of Genesis - What is the name of the first commercially successful handheld electronic game, released in 1978 and popular during Christmas that year? - Answer: Mattel Electronics' "Football"

Christmas Science and Nature:

Embark on a festive exploration of the natural world with our "Christmas Science and Nature" chapter. This quiz is a delightful blend of scientific wonders and natural phenomena that add a touch of magic to the holiday season. Test your knowledge of celestial events, ecological marvels, and the science behind beloved traditions. Join us in unraveling the mysteries that make Christmas not only a time of joy but also a celebration of the incredible wonders of our planet! Get ready for a quiz that brings the beauty of science and nature into the holiday spotlight. - What is the chemical symbol for snow? - Answer: H2O (water) - In the Northern Hemisphere, on what date is the Winter Solstice, marking the shortest day and longest night of the year? - Answer: December 21 - What is the name of the phenomenon where ice crystals form on cold surfaces, creating a frosty pattern? - Answer: Hoarfrost - What is the approximate average temperature of the North Pole during Christmas? - Answer: Around -40 degrees Celsius (-40 degrees Fahrenheit) - In the song "Winter Wonderland," what do we pretend the snowman is? - Answer: Parson Brown - What is the name of the scientific study of snow and ice? - Answer: Glaciology - In the Southern Hemisphere, on what date is the Summer Solstice, marking the longest day and shortest night of the year? - Answer: December 21 - What is the traditional Christmas plant that is associated with the winter season and has white berries? - Answer: Mistletoe - What is the name of the weather phenomenon where small ice crystals fall from the atmosphere and create a sparkling appearance on the ground? - Answer: Diamond dust - In which country did the tradition of the Christmas tree originate? - Answer: Germany

Christmas Language and Trivia:

Embark on a linguistic sleigh ride with our "Christmas Language and Trivia" chapter. This quiz is a festive celebration of the words, phrases, and linguistic quirks that make the holiday season truly special. Test your knowledge of holiday jargon, linguistic traditions, and discover the linguistic tapestry that weaves through the magic of Christmas. Join us in a joyous exploration of language and trivia that adds a unique flair to the festive lexicon! Get ready to unwrap the linguistic magic with every question! - In which language is the word "Christmas" derived from? - Answer: Old English (Cristesmæsse) - What does the word "Hanukkah" mean in Hebrew? - Answer: Dedication - In what language is "Feliz Navidad" traditionally sung? - Answer: Spanish - What does the word "Noel" mean in French? - Answer: Christmas - What is the Italian word for Christmas? - Answer: Natale - In what country do people say "Frohe Weihnachten" to wish others a Merry Christmas? - Answer: Germany - What is the Japanese word for Christmas? Read the full article

[arturo1951stuff]

I wrote this poem for a special person but I would also like to dedicate it to all those who have been close to me in the hardest moment, breathing life into my life. Viva la vita

#italy #poetry #bookstagram #booklover #book-tok

[dreaminmetaphors]

Artists Want to Change the World

Artists want to change the world. Write the book, song, poem that will making everyone Stop and See. Inspire the movement, shake the foundations, break the power structure, usher in a new era... That's the dream, and I know as much about dreaming as every single one of us does, No more, no less, give or take. My dreaming since about junior high was to be a writer. (Not even sure where it came from.) After I saw Jurassic Park, I wrote my own version where me and some friends— Good friends I'd had back in elementary school, though, because junior high was different— Got stranded in an alternate reality, saving girls from dinosaurs. (Much like the sequel with the girl kicking the raptor, I did not have a grasp on weight differential.) Weird to reflect back on the time when it all began versus the ending of the book of that dream, Closed now. Accomplished! Signed off on it! Awesome, can't complain. To be among those who achieved a childhood dream... it's an honor to be so blessed. Tough as it is to hold your dream up to adult eyes and say, "This was nice, but..." One of the hardest things is to forge a new path without a guiding star like that. To spark the hope-light even as you build a new craft to sail upon. To ask yourself “what am I?” because it's easier to use your job as your identity than to add a word And ask yourself, instead, “What am I doing?” with my gift of a life. To not inspire anything, not rock so much as boat in the shadow of the power structure...

So there I am learning the new literacy of computer code, feeling lost. Every new line I write I break something I have to debug, every refresh has me hopeless. Is this what's next? Have a made a horrible mistake? I'm taking an assessment in week seven and... Let me tell you a whole story in the space between one song fading out and first note of the next. See, there was this song that came out when I was in junior high. Maybe the singer called himself Prince because he liked to ride to everyone's rescue. Maybe he didn't call himself that anymore because he really wanted to be just the symbol of that ride. In those two years when I did the best I could for finding friends, even if they didn't get me, In that time in my life when I was most alone and mildly mocked for being what I was, There was this song, with this lyric: “The young so educated they never grow old.” And when I heard him sing that, I was instantly less alone. Do you feel me? This doesn't have to be your harmony to know the feeling I'm talking about, But I leaned on that lyric like a crutch, y'all. Because that single line spoke to an understanding of how things could be, One that nobody around me recognized or cared for. It's the reason I felt mocked, but someone else Stood up and sang it triumphantly. Biding me over until a time when I'd have better friends.

Like the ones I'd been jelling with by week seven but couldn't talk with just now, Taking my assessment, and I hit the key to run what I'd coded and—for once, nothing broke. It all...worked! I sat stunned in the silence between two songs and couldn't believe it. As another line of code was running to play the next random song from my library, Sending a clear declaration direct to me from 1992: “All 7 and we'll watch them fall.” It rang out like an expanding sense of triumph, filling all dimensions of my perspective. I felt inspired, the foundations of my doubts were rocked to crumbling. I could recognize the power as mine in this new era of my life. Maybe because I'd been in a state of despair before but had hobbled my way out, Riding on the soundwaves of this crutch I no longer needed but loved even more profoundly now. See, artists want to change the world. That's the dream. But you know as much about dreaming as every single one of us does, each our own. The dream is a world in your mind, and art can bridge the spaces between them. We can change worlds, each time our mind finds another. Think about the moments that spoke to you to see how it's done. You won't ever know what idea, what lyrics or rhymes, complex character or beautiful brush stroke Will be that bridge: the magic that binds us through a medium called empathy. Who you'll connect to, or what kind of strength or assurance you'll provide. You may not start the revolution but you could usher in one world's new era, inspire movement in another. And for giving me the respect of your listening ear, I want to share a truth I've been told about us: “I am yours now, and you are mine. And together we'll love through all space and time.”

[the-bau-quinjet]

Always

Summary: You overhear Steve talking to Bucky about going back to be with Peggy. Rather than confronting the situation, you write him a letter.

Warnings: I cried just thinking about writing this, so much angst, some swearing

Word Count: 3305

a/n: here it is folks: the sad fic I mentioned a few posts ago. Inspired by a multitude of songs from the album Ashlyn by Ashe. I high key recommend listening to that album while you read or just in general. I'm pretending like nobody died in Endgame because that shit is sad and I know this is sad aside from that, but I still have a heart ya know?

Per usual, any song lyrics (or song lyrics that I changed a bit) are in bold! I think used lyrics from Me Without You, Save Myself, I'm Fine, Love is Not Enough, and Always.

Masterlist

"You'd really want to go back?" You overheard Bucky right before you walked into Steve's room.

"I don't know." He let out a deep sigh. "I mean, I do know, but what do you think?" Steve's answer left you wondering what they were discussing.

"All for Peggy?" Your heart stopped waiting for Steve to reply.

Another sigh escaped his lips. You could easily picture him running his hands down his face, a signal he was deep in thought. "I mean, I never got a chance to see what would happen with her. Don't you think she deserves this much?"

You felt frozen. You couldn't hear the rest of Steve's answer or Bucky's reply over the sound of blood rushing through your ears.

It was all too much to handle. Rather than confront the grab bag of emotions swimming inside of you, you turned around and went back to your room in a zombie like haze.

"Friday, don't let anyone in my room."

You know the AI replied, but you were still too caught up in thought to understand it. Your mind was full of questions you knew you couldn't figure out the answers to alone.

Why would Steve want to go back for Peggy when he had you? Why would he even consider it if he loved you like he said he does? Is he still in love with Peggy? Has he been in love with her the whole time? Why would he choose her when he's spent so much more time with you?

"Y/N?" The sound of Steve's voice outside your door startled you. "Y/N, honey, are you in there?"

You could hear the doorknob rattling in his attempt to open it, but Friday was doing as you asked.

"I thought you were going to meet me downstairs?"

His words only broke your heart more, a small sniffle escaping despite your efforts to remain quiet.

"Are you not feeling well? What's wrong?"

His questions were left unanswered, much like the questions swimming around your head.

Steve kept talking to you through the door for a while, but you never replied. You weren't ready to face him, not until you knew you wouldn't say something you'd later regret.

-

The next few days carried on much the same. You refused to leave your room, relying on various snacks and protein bars you had for food. Every few hours, you would try to write down what you were feeling, but it didn't help calm you down the same way it typically did.

Everyone tried talking to you, but nothing worked. Steve spent hours outside your door every day in an effort to get you to talk to him, but you just couldn't figure out your emotions. It was all still too much to handle.

Late one night, Steve said something that forced you into action.

"Y/N, I don't know what happened, but if I did something I'm truly sorry. I'm returning the stones tomorrow. We've never not said goodbye before a mission... I just hope this one is the same."

You listened as he quietly walked back down the hallway, steps slowly receding until you were left in the same absolute silence you've spent the last few days.

You knew you had to talk to him, but hearing him say to your face that he's staying with Peggy would kill you.

You couldn't survive a permanent goodbye, not in your current state of mind.

After a few minutes of silent contemplation, you decided to write Steve a letter. Maybe you'd give it to him or maybe it would just help you organize your thoughts. Either way, it would be helpful to write to someone for a change.

Hi Steve,

I, well, I guess I'll start with this. You deserve an apology. I'm truly sorry for ignoring you for the past few days. I just... I heard what you said to Bucky and I didn't know how to deal with it.

You know I've never been the best at controlling my emotions, so I just holed myself up in here. I avoided you so I could figure out my own feelings first.

I know I should talk to you. You deserve that too, but I don't think I could survive the heartbreak. I guess I'll try to explain everything I've been thinking and feeling since that night.

Honestly, I'm not sure where to start. It feels kind of stupid to say, but I obviously experienced a range of emotions when I first heard you and Bucky talking about going back.

You know I've always found solace in writing, so that's what I'm doing. I needed a way to clear my thoughts, and it turned into this concoction of thoughts and some poems - you know how I feel about poems. (Look at that! A sarcastic comment! I didn't think I was capable of humor anymore.)

This might not surprise you, but the first emotion I clung to was anger. I'm not angry anymore, well at least not as angry. Anyway, I wrote this next part when I was absolutely pissed at you.

-

What the fuck?

You want to go back in time and stay there?

You want to leave me behind?

Steve, what the fuck is wrong with you?

I could keep you here. If I really wanted to, I could figure out a way to do it. I could cut the brakes just to keep you from leaving. I'll do it too. My hands on the wheel would drive us into a wall.

You must think I'm being petty. Hiding in my room like a child to avoid you. All the while, here I am writing all the things I could do to keep you. Well, news flash: I don't need you. You made me think the only world I could exist in, was one you lived in, almost had me fooled.

Here's something you probably never considered, because I sure as shit never thought I'd even need to. I can be me without you. I don't have to rely on you for my own happiness. I thought you loved me, but if you want to go back and be with Peggy, do it. Go find yourself, let me down.

It's easy to sit here now and look back on how everything we had would always be second string to your relationship with her. God damn hindsight's 2020.

I want you to know, you did this to me. You broke my heart. When I heard you say you wanted a chance to be with Peggy, it's like my whole world crumbled down around me.

Everything I thought I knew was ripped out from under me. You poured rain all over my sunny. Yeah, someday, this could all be funny, but right now it's absolute shit.

And maybe everything will work out the way it's meant to be, but honestly I couldn't give less of a shit about that right now.

If I had the chance, I would take it back. Everything. Meeting you. Becoming friends. Dating you. Falling in love. I'd be jumping off your sinking ship, instead of going down with it.

It'd be so much easier that way. If I never fucking knew you.

One day I'll be good. I'll be over all of this bullshit. Right now I'm just mad. And you know what, it's justifiable. I think I'm allowed to be mad at you.

I'm over being so mature. If only I was never yours. Maybe I'll go back in time and undo it all. Then at least I could save myself from you.

-

Like I said, I wrote that in the heat of the moment. Once my brain caught up to my ears, all I saw was red. Anger didn't last as long as you might think though.

All that was how I felt in the moment, but I want you to know it's not true. I don't really believe any of it. I was hurt and angry and avoiding the pain I knew was just around the corner.

I've always told you anger would be my downfall because I just can't control what I say.

Let me be completely clear, I would never want to undo meeting you. You've been the best part of my life for years. I need you to know that I don't regret any of it and I never will.

Anyway, the anger shifted to tears pretty quickly. It wasn't hard to feel the pain that comes with someone you love leaving you. I can't honestly picture a world where I don't love you.

This is the first poem I wrote. With tear blurring my vision, I put pen to paper and this is what came out.

Complicated. Understated. On the way to, Devastated. I'm just holding on for dear life.

Short and sweet, right? Well, not so much sweet, but you get the point. I feel broken. Here's another bit of poetry for ya.

Right now I'm sorry, Burns through me darling, But I can't help hope In thirty years it won't.

Maybe I just need time. That's what everyone always says. "Time can heal all wounds."

It's hard to even think about moving on though when everything reminds me of you. I've got emotional souvenirs from fleeting moments we spent together. If this is the end, I'll always know you were my golden years. I know in the future I could close my eyes and go back there.

Maybe that's the hardest part. Knowing I'll always have these memories.

All I've been thinking about for the past three days is if this will ever feel better. And maybe it will, when time has passed.

Maybe when I'm older, I'll run out of stories about you. Maybe when I'm older, I'll know what it's like not to love you, Anymore.

Despite my best efforts, it's still only a maybe. Maybe when I'm older I'll be able to stop thinking about you every second of the day. Maybe when I'm older I won't feel like crying everytime I see your face.

But maybe not. Maybe I'll always feel this way.

Maybe when I'm six feet, underneath the concrete, I'll know what it's like not to want you, anymore.

I'm not saying all this to make you feel guilty. You don't need to tell me you're sorry. I know you are. I know you would never hurt me like this without a reason.

I should just talk to you, but I don't think I can. Not yet. We don't need to talk til we're ready. Both of us.

I guess I do have one question. Do you really love me?

I don't think I want to know the answer right now. Because even if you do... it takes a lot more than a rose, more than a kiss, more than a heart to truly love someone and spend forever with them.

It takes a lot more than a ring, more than a vow, more than a promise to build and maintain a relationship.

Love is not enough. I know that now. Even if you love me to the best of your abilities, you could still love Peggy more. Love may not be enough for us, but at least we got that much.

If you leave, I'll live the rest of my life grateful that at least I got your touch for as long as I did.

I used to think we could take our sweet time, that everything would be just fine. But now I know maybe not.

I cried for days. Like I said, I'm not writing this to make you feel guilty though. I just want to be completely honest. I cried a lot, probably more than I ever have before.

I kept replaying memories of time I spent with you. Not even dates, just the small moments that made me know I love you.

Like that day I woke up too early, almost put salt in my coffee. Oh I thank God that you stopped me before that.

I've never been a morning person, but ever since I met you you've always been there to keep my head on straight.

I think the thing I love most about you is how you can read me better than anyone I've ever known. I can hide from everyone else and they won't bat an eye. They never can tell when I'm falling apart on the inside.

No matter how hard I try to hide it though, you don't believe me when I say I'm alright. You can always, always tell.

It's like you've got a sixth sense that tells you I need you when I try to say I'm fine.

Before I met you, I would get so lonely everyday. Now I'm only lonely until you ask if I'm okay and then I remember that I have people who are there for me. I have you.

All this to say, I love you, Steve. I love you more than I've ever loved another human being.

Forever yours,

Y/N

-

It took you nearly all night to write a coherent letter and come up with a plan to talk to Steve. A quick glance at the clock let you know Steve would be up any minute, so you had to act fast.

You opened your door for the first time in days, running in a full sprint to the stairs and down the hall to Steve's door.

With one final burst of courage, you shoved the letter under the door and ran away before anyone could find you out of your room.

-

"Y/N?" A familiar knock on your door woke you from a restless sleep. "I read your letter, Y/N please let me explain."

It felt like time slowed down as you stared at the door.

"Y/N, I have to bring the stones back, but I really want to talk to you first."

"Come in." You steadied yourself with a deep breath, but one look at Steve ruined your flimsy resolve.

"Y/N... I tried to wait for you to come to me, but..."

He stopped talking when you shook your head, a painful sob forming in your chest.

"I've been thinking a lot." You started slowly, voice scratchy from days of not being used except to cry. "What if staying with me isn't the best thing to keep you happy?"

"Y/N, I-"

"Please let me finish." You waited for him to acknowledge your words before you spoke again.

"If letting you go is the best way to show that I love you, I will." Tears poured down your cheeks, breaths coming to you shakily.

"Captain Rogers, your presence is requested in the backyard." Friday's voice echoed through the room.

Steve looked more torn than you've ever seen him.

"Let's go." You nodded toward the door. "I've got more to say, but you've got somewhere to be."

Slowly, the two of you walked down the hall and entered the elevator.

"I don't know if you'll ever come back-"

"Y/N, really just let me-"

"Steve, please." You begged him to let you get it all out. "I won't ask 'cause that's selfish."

"It's not." He cut in again.

"It is. You deserve to be as happy as possible." With a slow, shaky breath you continued your speech. "I've come to terms I might never feel whole again."

The elevator doors slid open. You followed Steve to the yard where they set up the time machine.

"I'll be broken when you're gone, but I won't hold you back if it's wrong."

"Steve, there you are! Let's go-"

"In a minute, Sam." Steve's eyes never left you, remaining soft and caring. "We can go back inside if you want." He ran his thumbs over your cheeks, ridding them of tears only to be instantly replaced. You've always hated crying in front of people.

"I don't care what people say." You shook your head, ignoring the potential pitying looks you could receive for crying in front of others. Another deep breath, and you continued. "You know I won't force you to stay."

It was your turn to wipe tears from Steve's face.

"If you leave, I'll be okay. Just promise that you won't forget me babe."

"I could never-" He cut in again only to stop when you gave him a pleading look.

"I understand if leaving is what you have to do. I don't want you to go, but I'll be okay, eventually." You let out a watery chuckle, wiping your eyes again.

"Y/N, I never meant for-"

"Steve, you ready?" Sam interrupted again.

"It's fine. You can go." You did your best to hold back any lingering tears. You had to physically turn Steve around yourself and push him towards the machine.

"Y/N, please, I can't-"

"Steve, they're waiting for you. It's okay, I promise." He finally started to walk away only to pause when you called out one more thing. "Oh, Steve?"

"Yeah?" He wore a solemn smile.

"I'll love you always."

You watched as he listened to Banner's instructions and bid farewell to Sam and Bucky. The bitter part of you wondered if Sam knew.

A strangled sob left your mouth as soon as Steve disappeared. All three men standing around the machine looked your way, Sam and Bucky running toward you to help.

"He should be back any second. It's fine!" Sam desperately tried to console you, but you knew it wouldn't work.

"Y/N. Y/N! Listen to me. Did Steve talk to you?" Bucky asked, ignoring Sam's bewildered expression.

You nodded pitifully.

"Did he explain-" You cut him off.

"He- he didn't ha-have time.: You stuttered as you tried desperately to gulp in air through the tears. "I did most of the talking. I needed him to know it was okay."

"To know what was okay?" Sam asked, still clearly confused.

The thought of explaining it only broke you down more. You would have fallen to the ground if not for Bucky catching you. Your body leaned into his.

"Doll..." Bucky shook his head. "You should have let him explain."

You choked on another sob just thinking about it.

"Shh, it's okay. You'll be okay." Bucky whispered in your ear, ignoring Sam's confused glares.

"Y/N..." The sound of Steve's voice echoed in your ears causing another painful sob to jolt through your body.

"Baby, please look at me."

You genuinely thought you were hallucinating when you opened your eyes to see Steve towering over you.

"Steve?" Your voice was barely a whisper.

"It's me, I'm here." He gently took you from Bucky's arms, cradling you close to him but leaning his head far enough away for you to look into your eyes.

"You came back..." Your tears slowed, gently falling down your cheeks as you stared at him wide-eyed.

"I was never planning to leave." He spoke while gently stroking your hair.

"B-but, you were talking to Bucky about going back?" Your tears gave way to confusion as you glanced between him and Bucky.

"Just to say goodbye." He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, breathing in your scent. "I just thought she deserved a real goodbye."

New tears pooled in your eyes as you took in his words. "So, you never wanted to leave me?"

"I could never, and would never, leave you. I love you so much. I just wish I knew why you were holed up in your room sooner." He smiled at you, the same adoring smile he gave you the first time you met.

"I love you too. Always." You leaned into his embrace, relishing in the touch you thought you'd lost forever. He whispered his reply, clinging to you just as much as you were to him.

"Always."

a/n: today I discovered I am truly incapable of writing a sad ending. I just like the idea of escaping to a reality where Steve would never abandon me.

Permanent taglist:

@averyhotchner

@jesuswasnotawhiteman

@strawberryspence

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