#but the outcome that's said to be claimed as doesn't match and I'm not sure what the story would be trying to say if that's just it

[yuseirra]

CRINGE MESSAGE COMING LOL. Seeing all the chapters of Oshi no Ko and the KamiAi makes me feel guilty now for being an Ai’s yume / waifuist lol. She's definitely his. Too bad for me ig, but I'm very happy maybe she really found someone who can love her as she is. Your comics are so good btw !

Don't worry about it, anon! And honestly I have no problems with someone feeling that way about Ai- why would you have to feel guilty? Just as much as I'm passionate about what her relationship could have been with another character, you liked her as a character and wanted to explore in that aspect! Even if she canonically has someone she loves in the story, she's a fun character to imagine and work with and she's really charming! But.. I'm really glad at the same time to hear you feel convinced about this ship too as someone who cares about it 🙏💖..your ask is so wholesome. I feel that's lovely of you to feel happy for her having found someone she can love. Ai would be happy to have a fan like you.

To add, I bet I'm WAY more cringe for having discussed about the ship and the characters in literal essays at this point..! I really appreciate your ask, it's happy(and relieving)to see there are people finding this ship the same way as you do. I really, really hope the manga will direct them in the way I anticipate too~~~~, because I can love them all I want if that's the case and it'd make a lot of sense, too! I can explain. I CAN-

Not that it matters a lot in terms of analyzing characters from a manga, but I STUDIED psychology, it IS a field of interest for me and I want to get things right on that aspect... the emotional areas of people. And from what I can infer, I think what these two characters had...could have actually been pretty good. Ai's reaction towards Hikaru and what's related to him aren't really what someone would have towards a bad partner, it's quite the opposite. Things all started to add up after having seen her say on him in the video. I'll discuss a little more about it below but before that:

Right?? What mattered the most for me the most is Ai's say about the guy and it turns out she REALLY loved him and SHE wanted to be together. I could tell from the entirety of the movie arc that Hikaru would have been very attached to her considering his life circumstances. She literally was only person he could really open up to and love, and Ai did so much for him although she later did give him the pain. I totally see how the lyrics for this show are all like "I can't live without you!" or "I'd give up my own life for yours!", it has to be this guy saying it because that's EXACTLY the way he'd feel about Ai. I started drawing a lot of him after 154 and Fatal because they acted as the major puzzle pieces for me to understand his character. You see how Akane wants to understand her role as Sayahime but has a hard time forming a concept due to the little info she has in the scripts early on in anime S2, right? I felt the same way about the guy. I think...I get like 70% of him now, but the other 30% I am yet aware of can completely turn the tables and my insights about him and that's what makes me so nervous. One thing's certain though, he severely loves Ai and every loving feeling he expresses about her are true. And if it is, then it's at an extent where he can literally sacrifice himself for her sake. Pretty intense, right? So about your ask, the part where you say Ai's found someone who really loves her is DEFINITELY true! I'm glad for her in that aspect(is he worthy enough, however?)

About the "worth" of his love, I've said earlier that Ai's say on this relationship's the important bit, didn't I? And it is, since she could be a victim of a terrible crime and if that's true, whatever feelings Hikaru would have about her wouldn't hold weight or meaning(at least for me). Who cares if a stalker claims they can risk their life for you? You'd just want them to stay firmly out of your life, it's imposing and unwanted and even quite selfish. However, Ai seems to have been pretty content, maybe even happy with him during the times they were together.

We don't really get to see a lot of their loving moments together since things keep happening making Hikaru's life plummet and become miserable and pretty reliant on Ai, but we see his happiest smiles in that brief moment they were together and Ai WAS smiling there, too. I believe that's not just a false vision of her Hikaru has formed in his head. She did actually accept, understand, and love him back. Well, how do we know that? Because the way she reacts to him/what's related to him are consistently loving and shows of concern.

-Ai adores their children and swoons about how cute they are, when they resemble him too a whole lot. It's a little similar to how she's commented how cute he is when they had dinner together(although Hikaru says those scenes are made-up, I feel they would hold some clues to how they actually were bc why would something entirely fake take up entire chapters). It's hard to love the kids of someone who's given you a hard time, but Ai shows no signs of such feelings. Rather, I think her feelings towards her boyfriend extended to their kids they had together and she was able to love them even more because they're the children of someone who she really cares about.

-She also comments(I say this a lot)that she wanted to be together forever with Hikaru. That's not something that'd come so easily from her mouth. She believed her own mother didn't want her. She was so wary, and hid her true self even towards her own kids and always smiled, leading even her own son to believe she never cries even until he's entered high school. She's afraid of forming relationships because she gets hurt. But Ai sincerely wanted to be with this guy. This says a lot because if he was bad to her, Ai would have recoiled and left. However, Ai was able to decide she wanted to settle with him and share a future together. That's what love is. She liked her times with him enough to wish for more of it.

-Ai actively tries to cover for him and shield him from the possible harms he may face: she never reveals who the father is, to the president in her firm, even in her videos to her OWN SON. I get the feeling that she is really protective of this guy. The reason she left him was because she was afraid of causing HIM more sufferings, not because of her being tired of him sticking to her etc. There's a cut where she imagines him raising their children together with a smile and she's also there right beside him forming a wide smile. That's what Ai wanted, and it's so far from what a messed-up relationship could be. Ai knows about Hikaru more than anyone else and she doesn't hold any negativity towards him, she's only worried about his sake. That convinced me, they could have really had this happen. He was good enough for her and she wanted him too as much as he did for her. I don't think she would have the wrong idea about who she chose to love, when her whole story revolves around her struggles on forming a genuine one.

How could this be, if he's someone capable of harming her? I say he actually ISN'T, and that could be backed up by how.. timid Hikaru used to be. This is the 30% I am unsure of, I am not sure how crazy he is or how insane he can get. What I can say is that his innate character isn't the type to actively try to harm someone just because he's hurt. He was hurt all the time, always, by others, and he was never able to really fight back and protect himself before he's met Ai who stood with him(and this explains why Ai is so keen about protecting him-she knows he gets very vulnerable and she's seen him suffer all his life. She never wanted to be the one to add to it. She WANTS to help and protect him so much.)

I can also say he has very low self-esteem and values himself way less compared to what he actually is. This attitude of his is there from the very first time he's introduced, he keeps blaming himself and says his life doesn't have so much value. It's a very weird attitude to have if he's in front of someone who he's murdered.... When he is asked to teach Ai for the first time, he says stuff like "Is it okay for someone like me to...?" When you're this degrading about yourself.. You come to sort of.. Accept every bad thing that's thrown at you. I think that's how his mental state is at this point because Ai died and he believes he's responsible for it. He hates himself and has no problem having to be "punished" for it. He describes himself as a crazy murderer but.. I am still not sure if that's really the case. Aqua blames himself a lot for things he never did, perhaps his dad is even more like him on that regard. I need more pieces of the puzzle, but he's... really interesting and painful to analyze because I can sense that he's really suffering. Does he deserve it?

If he's someone that's allowed a person like Ai to form such a strong, loving and protective feeling towards, I don't think he could be so bad in reality. The things he says and his actions don't line up so well. Good grief, the writer really makes me think SO much. Maybe they never put that much thought into it and thought it's understandable the way it is, but.. He's so different compared to how he used to be. There has to be a reason for a person to change their ways so drastically, and the only reason I can personally think of for this character to shift this much would be Ai's death. I don't think he'd have been so different before that happened, and if that's the case, he wouldn't have tried to hurt her because why do that to the only light of his life? Why do that after a whole 4 years after a breakup, not immediately when it happened? Why try to do it after having realized she's been raising your kids by herself and they're said to be growing up smart and healthy? Many questions arise, it doesn't add up for me. Hikaru SAYS he wanted to talk to Aqua. He did with Ruby, he states he HAS fatherly feelings and I sense no hostility in him when he approaches them, he acts pretty KIND to them. That's not so different from how Ai's pictured he'd be with their children, either. His behavior is mostly consistent except for that one thing he claims to have done(sending Ryosuke), and the death of Yura, but even that is ambiguous and we don't actually know what's happened.

I think he just tried to send a bouquet to her but was too sad to go meet her in person lol, that, or there was some outer force that convinced him it's what he should do? The black star, perhaps?

This became a real essay and I'm the embarrassing one here ;v; ahah but!! I do draw with passion! And with a lot of things in mind and I read stuff over a lot like you do anon! ♥ I really hope they turn out to be something I can fully respect and support bc, I want Ai's love to be reciprocated in the way it deserves. It'd be great if they deserve each other. They are the protagonists' parents too, after all! I feel they'd have a pretty good story. Thanks for reading my comic and for expressing your thoughts to me! I hope what you said and what I speculate about them are true!!😊💖💖

[acourtofthought]

Hi, hope your having a wonderful day. Love reading your posts. 😚

Something didn't sit well with me with the last anon regarding Elain's choices or what this anon deems choices.

It’s very obvious that the anon has made up their mind that any and all choices are valid except if Elain chooses Lucien.  They are clearly trying to undervalue Elucien, if it happens.  Yeah, no.  If anything, the fact that Elain is testing the waters and taking her time tells me she’s very capable of choosing what’s right for her and not making impulsive decisions.  What part are people not getting that anything that Elain does is a ‘choice’.  You may not like the possibility of her choosing Lucien, but it’s very much still a choice, the same with Az or any other character.  

Anyway, Elain can reject the bond and still ignore Lucien as she has for the past few years.  She is not forced to be with Lucien.  Is she currently with him?  Is she forced to talk to him?  BFFR.  If anything, sounds like this anon is invalidating any choices Elain may possibly make in the future that doesn't match their argument.  Do you even like her character?  “Plans that involve them both choosing a love they deserve”  So, I'm guessing if Elain chooses Lucien and Lucien chooses Elain, in the end, this doesn't apply, right? ‘With elain and Lucien…there’s nothing’.  Well, for one, we don’t know what Elain is thinking, however, she took that small step towards Lucien, when he was leaving. Also, Lucien is still longing for Elain in ACOSF. There's something there. It’s subtle, but it just makes sense for Elucien. 

If Elain chooses to be with Az or Lucien, it's valid. This narrative for Elain's 'choices' has been pushed for far too long and many are missing the point on what choices actually mean. 

Matter of fact, was it not SJM that said Elain and Lucien took her by surprise?  This is how Elucien was set up.  They are the epitome of fated mates that even the writer was surprised.

Thank you for your message and support! That anon was frustrating to me too. It's also really strange that people are ignoring the fact that we're at the beginning of Elain's journey. Seriously, they think it's a good idea for Elain to be making any major choices after serious trauma? After being kidnapped, Made, losing her fiance, the death of her father, being kidnapped a second time? I'm pretty sure that any therapist would advice against Elain making rash statements or doing anything rash at this stage in her life. And that the things Elain thinks and wants now are not going to be the things Elain thinks and wants a year or two after she said them. There is growth to be had for her character but E/riels seem to insist that she remain fixed in place because that means she will never be open to getting to know Lucien. If after Elain breaks free from her sisters, decides who she is and wants to be (and not just accepting where she ended up by default) and realizes Az is who she wants then I'd support that. But falling into a rebound with Az because he's the only single male around who she doesn't have a mating bond with (because she's absolutely not engaging with Lucien for the simple fact that the bond is overwhelming to her right now) and who she's never had any kind of intimate and deep conversation with the claiming that's love? I don't buy it. If she wanted Az for the right reasons she would have sat down with Lucien, explained the situation and her wants, and moved forward with Az in a healthy way. Nothing about E/riel is healthy or for the right reasons right now (not on his end or hers) and that's the problem I have with that pairing. An adult looks at all possible scenarios, all outcomes, faces the things that make them uncomfortable head on and then moves forward with a decision. Elain's actions at this moment (in terms of Az and Lucien) are not the actions of a mature individual. And I do think Elain has a good grasp on emotional maturity in a lot of other areas but not on this. So all their cries of "choice!" really is them saying, "I like that she's choosing Az right now and that's the only choice I'll accept" rather than really looking at where Elain is, what she's been through, what she's avoiding and admitting that she's not really making smart decisions at this point in time. And yeah, the AUTHOR HERSELF told us that Elain took both she and Lucien by surprise when she realized Elain was the person for him. If SJM, the creator of this world and these characters envisioned Lucien and Elain as Mates and happily vacationing together in London then who the f*ck is any random reader who wants to tell us we're misogynistic, don't care about Elain, disturbed for shipping them (insert additional E/riel insults to Elucien's) and so on? Of course they aren't together yet....there'd be no point to that. But acting like it's not still a very real possibility based on every single other SJM pairing is ridiculous.

[speromint]

Cool. Okay. Yeah.

So, everything you've said is so wrong that I wonder if we've even seen the same podcast.

To go down this list,

1. Vanya did make a perception check. She just failed. Unless women somehow roll better than everyone else, the outcome would've been the same. Even if she'd succeeded, I don't get what that has to do with her being played by a woman.

2. Mary, like pretty much everyone else in Crepuscule, fought Daybringer Solomon and died because the building burned down and collapsed on her. The only reason Deacon survived is because he got punched through a wall. If she was played by a woman, assuming you mean a seperate player and not the DM, she may have made the choice to try and escape, or she may not have. Again, this has nothing to do with her being played by Charlie, it's just because she's an NPC (and probably rolled unlucky behind the scenes).

3. What? Knowing Arthur's backstory, why would Mary get mad at him for that, unless it came from a place of "I don't want you to get hurt", considering how scary powerful Vanya is. Also "literally running to another woman" doesn't really mean the same thing when he's running to another woman to kill her and avenge his family...

4. Genuinely cannot figure out why Edward Twilight would be a woman if (I assume what you're trying to say is) the DM was a woman. He's... a parody? Of Edward Cullen from Twilight??? He'd only be a woman in a world where the real life Twilight novels were genderbent (which, to be honest, I would love to read).

5. Who is describing the scene between Mary and Arthur as "sweet and cute"? They have their sweet moments, sure, but the whole thing is deeply tragic- Arthur gave up everything in pursuit of peace and regaining his humanity. Mary is dead and trapped in a mirror world. It's more bittersweet than anything.

6. We don't know why they broke up, but it's been a hundred years and I'm sure they realized they "didn't match" when they. Y'know. Broke up??? Arthur from back then was also pretty different from the Arthur of now- he threw himself into parties during the 1900-1920s to try and cope, and possibly because of Edward Twilight's influence.

7. Pretty sure he's already gotten revenge for his family. Considering he already killed the woman responsible? His main goal right now is regaining his humanity and protecting his Boys.

JRWI- especially the Suckening- isn't really "written" so much as it is improv'd, and I'm sick of people acting like it is, and that somehow the presence of a woman would've been so much better. It's misanderistic to claim/imply that the boys don't do a good job with playing women or handling certain topics because they're men.

mary davis and vanya hemlocke would play VERY different roles if they had a woman playing them...just saying one perception check for vanya would making the world of difference.

just saying if mary didnt run up to a grimslayer and get unlucky would make a world of differnece.

just saying, mary wouldve been more upset at arthur and wouldve brought up him going away for trying to kill vanya (literally running to another woman) IM JUST SAYING!!! IM JUST SAYING!!!

and edward twilight would be a woman if a woman was running the suckening and i would love to see her one day..IM JUST SAYING!!!