#but the other half aren't mine per se

[snakedad]

Can i ask to know more about your ocs? They seem interesting and fun :3

of course!

porphyria is me! aka phy, Phyr, and pokili, all pronouns. I'm a low shapeshifting dragon, mostly right now i can swap between quad and biped, and change my size, but I'm working on adding a more interesting form to my repertoire

as for abilities, my blood glows, which is usually visible slightly in my wings, though it gets brighter when I'm blushing. that also means my insides and certain outsides also glow a pleasant dim purple, for any prey that find themself in there

on top of that, i have a cool party trick where i can inhale a vapor, let it percolate in my weird kidneys, and then exhale a concentrated version of it. it's mostly fun to get people drunk with, or high. i also use a very strong magical aphrodisiac called pearlpetal, which has led to some very enjoyable nights

(eli and Eliza and the rest below the cut)

eli is, for the most part, just a feral ferret. it's not particularly big, or endowed, or like. smart. just a little white ferret that, when it dies, pops back into existence next to its corpse

from what it's told me, it has the impressive and singular ability to be extremely annoying (i believe it completely). before it joined our caves, it made its living stealing small amounts from big hoards, then coming back to annoy them until it was... satisfied (read: torn apart repeatedly)

~

Eliza is newer, and mostly keeps to herself. she's an anthro garter snake, about 5'2 without the tail. we haven't gotten art of her yet because she has a very slender shape that most anthro snake artists don't do. she bakes very well, and about once a month she gets very needy and dominant for a night. outside of that though, we'll still have some innocent, she fun

~

maddie is our architect. she's a small brown stonemover gravelmouse (no her species has nothing to do with her profession. gravelmice tend to be freeloaders, or borrowers). she's very ace and generally uninterested in being eaten, though she's been mating pressed by eli once or twice to satisfy what little libido she does have. mostly though, she helps give us new rooms and makes sure everything stays stable

~

Lance is... i don't know much about Lance. i know of them, from eli, but it is very good at keeping secrets, and it's not really worth the effort. ask it yourself, maybe you'll have more luck

[eybefioro]

Weekly fic rec, by yours truly...

The wind stills ruffles our hair, still shakes the leaves of the trees. The world keeps on spinning. People still walk on the streets, still keep on their routines. We share old stories, old photographs, old memories. We offer each other a hug, even if it can only do as much as wave the cold away. Sometimes, that warmth is what we need to sooth the aching lump in our throats. Sometimes, it just makes it hurt more, but we need it all the same.

I was living my life like normal, until I saw this post. I wasn't prepared to have the ground shattering beneath my feet.

The Ordinary World, by Anti_kate

Rated E, ~24,8k words

My tags: intense, cathartic, beautiful

Summary:

He couldn’t quite remember what Aziraphale smelled like anymore, the particular combination of fresh bread and sea salt and cedarwood, the caramelized sugar of crème brûlée. But even though he couldn’t remember the scent precisely, he knew the bookshop didn’t smell right. It didn’t smell like Aziraphale. It was as if he’d never been there at all. Aziraphale disappears the night of the bookshop fire, and Crowley is left alone and grieving. But death is not always the end.

Hm. This fic spoke to me in such a level. Cut me deep and dissected my feelings in such a way that I didn't expect -- so I'm sorry in advance. This will get a bit personal, and I don't know to which extent everyone can relate to this story, and to which extent is me projecting my own experiences.

So, this can be a particular experience of mine, but I don't see many stories dealing with grief. In the movies, TV shows, books, etc. that I've watched and read, it's an uncommon theme. I find that interesting because even if it is different for everybody (and if every time it hits differently), everyone experiences grief. In the same way that everyone dies, everyone also feels the pain of grief.

We see characters dying and characters suffering for it, but the grief per se is uncommon. And I think that's because it happens a lot in one's head, it's not a linear process, it's complex and painful, and it's never the same. It doesn't even end. We never really stop mourning. We go through our days, and the grief is with us. We work, and it sits by our side. We laugh, and it warps its arms around our shoulders. We cry, and it constrict our voices. We eat, and half of it goes to its belly. We walk, and its weight slows us down. We learn to live with it, we grow around it, but that hollowness is always there, never fulfilled again.

And this story taps into that so well (for me, at least). It describes so well the sense of loss, the sense of emptiness, the absence that lingers. How everything hurts, how it feels for the world to end, and nothing changing. For it to end and people still being the same, doing the same things. For it to end, and for you to confront the fact that it means nothing, really; you still, somehow, have to keep going, you, somehow, are still alive. The world ended, nothing changed, and you still have to breathe.

All that is left is your memories, and they aren't even the same anymore. You can't exactly remember them, but your body does. You get assaulted by them. You get haunted by the ghosts of the people you lost -- you can hear their voices on the back of your mind, you can feel them on their words, on the things they owned, on the things they did. You listen to a song and BAM! there is their ghost singing those lyrics, hoping to that rhythm, a memory that you didn't know you still had. Their ghosts haunt you. But they're gone. They don't exist anymore, only being alive in the past; only still in the memories, in memories that, more often than not, will die with you and cease to exist when all that's left of you is the memories on other people's heads.

We see Crowley go through that. We see him hurting like we (maybe *I*, lol) hurt. We see his suffering upon losing Aziraphale, and how he hurts himself trying to stop hurting, and unfortunately, the hurt is inescapable. He sacrifices a lot to get answers, to try to get close to Aziraphale again -- and what wouldn't I sacrifice only to be able to hug the people I lost ome more time...

But the good news is that he can get Aziraphale back. And he does. The plot is amazing. The descriptions of how he does that and the twists are amazing. This fic is so poetic, and the ending is so beautiful. Reading Crowley getting Aziraphale back was incredible, especially after seeing (experiencing, really) the hurt.

I love how the author wrote this story, their prose is beautiful. Haunting. I loved every bit, and I felt so seen, hugged by Crowley's hurt; he getting back something that I will never be able to was great. It comforted me a lot, even if it hurt (and it did hurt a lot lol I still have a lump on my throat and did cry yesterday because of it, but it was a good type of cry. One that makes you feel good after).

This fic made me feel a lot, and I'm so grateful for it (@antikate I'm sorry for tagging you I just want you to know that I loved your fic so much, and I for sure wasn't able to get that across by my comments there. Rhank you so much for this story) It's so beautiful and... aaa alright time to end this rec. I babbled a lot and said almost nothing, I feel like. Just go read it (not for everyone, I know, but yet...).

This fic is like drinking a too-sweet beverage to try to swallow a too-bitter med. Like making popcorn when you feel sad, because that's what they did when they felt sad.Like keep on living and laughing, because they would like you to.

[spectrechosts]

April Fools - Chapters 16-18

As one problem is resolved, another rears it's ugly head.

Full Series

DAY 16: AUTUMN WINDS

And just like that, the heatwave breaks.

The heavy, suffocating, overpowering summer air is swept away by autumn winds, and they carry with them the cool relief of change.

The Queen walks the gardens; admires the flowers before they're gone, the multicolored leaves before they fall. With her as always is the Knight, following a dutiful half-step behind.

And alongside them- not following per se, but orbiting; dancing around the two as if she follows her own path, but never straying from them- is the Fool.

The blooms aren't as beautiful as they were in the spring, but the Knight takes one and gives it to the Queen nonetheless. She takes it, and places a kiss on the Knight's offered hand.

The Fool darts in and takes the Knight's other hand, pressing her lips to it before twirling to the other side of the pair and doing the same to the Queen.

The Knight rolls her eyes as the Fool jingles nimbly away, and the Queen giggles, and all is as it should be.

~~~

DAY 17: MASQUERADES AND MARKS

"I know that I have been overly cautious in the past, but I would like to reiterate that this is a terrible idea."

"Nonsense!" Says the Queen, as she flits about overseeing preparations. "We always have a masquerade ball in the autumn, it's tradition!"

"Will you at least let me guard you?"

"My knight, it's a masquerade ball. If you're beside me the whole time, won't everyone know who I am?"

"Yes, but-"

"And won't I be safer, if I'm hidden?"

"I suppose, but-"

"Hang on-" Interjects the Fool. "You actually can't tell who's who behind those silly masks?"

The Queen tilts her head to the side.

"Weeeeeell, mostly." She says. "It depends on the mask. Mine is pretty good!"

The Queen demonstrates, and her mask is… okay.

It covers her entire face, sure, but there are other ways to identify someone. It's ornate, too ornate to be worn by at least half the attendees. Her hair isn't hidden, her voice is unmuffled- Not to mention all the things no mask could hide: Her height, her build; the Queen is small, not extremely so, but enough to narrow things down. These are all things that the Fool would use to pick out a mark at a masquerade, and so she must assume any would-be assassin will be at least as competent.

"Well, it does look rather fetching." She says. "But I wouldn't count on your anonymity."

The Knight snorts.

"And you're an expert on recognizing people by looking at them, aye?"

"This again? You know as well as I that she gives memorable kisses, I'm not shamed by my memory."

"You should be, methinks. As it is, you're liable to forget me entire."

"How awful that would be! Prithee, aid my recollection!" Says the Fool, sticking her tongue out.

~

The masquerade is wonderful, as it is every year. The Queen mingles, and dances, and makes merry. For one night a year, she isn't viewed by the rest of the nobility as some combination of pity case and obstacle to their own ambitions.

Her knight is around, somewhere. She wears the standard closed helmet of all the other royal guards on this night, and acts in a less personal capacity. She doubtless watches her even now, while she cannot be by her side.

The Fool is more noticeable. She wears no mask, for a jester's paint is mask enough. She is quite drunk, her movements lacking their usual grace and her mood raucous and joyful. She gambols through the crowd, stumbling and crashing into partygoers all the way.

"Quite some party, isn't it?" Says a masked figure beside her.

"Quite a party." The Queen agrees. "Though I dare say I'm not as jolly as Her Majesty's fool."

"I'm thankful for that, the wretched sot damn near bowled me over."

She giggles. "She seems the sort, yes."

"Yes, well, I won't waste your time with idle chatter." Says the masked figure. "Goodbye, Highness."

They walk past her, bumping shoulders as they do. She feels them jab something into her stomach, then smoothly drop it and continue moving.

She blinks and looks down.

The remnants of a banana, mashed flat against her skin, lay on the ground.

"Uh..?" She says, taking a moment to parse what's just happened.

"…What." Whispers the figure, having felt something was off and looked back at their very much unharmed target. They scramble for a weapon, grabbing a knife off a nearby table before the Knight crashes into them, pinning them to the ground.

The Queen just stands there, frozen with shock. "Oh." She says. "Oh my. Oh no, oh no no no no."

She feels a guiding hand at her back, and the Fool shepherds her into a seat as the crowd retreats and gawks.

"Keep calm, Your Majesty. You're safe." She says.

"Oh, oh my poor knight, she's going to be so upset." Says the Queen, shaking her head, and the Fool chuckles.

"You're really something else, you know that?" She says, sitting down beside her and pulling a snack out of her coat. She takes a bite, and then holds it out to the Queen.

"Banana?" She asks, and the Queen squints at her.

~~~

DAY 18: STILETTO AND CROWN

The Fool plinks her confiscated stiletto point down into the table, leaving it stuck.

"Lifted it off 'em a couple minutes before. Didn't like how they watched the crowd."

The Knight picks it up to inspect.

"Doesn't look magic." She says. "Poisoned?"

"Probably?" Says the Fool, shrugging. "Seemed pretty certain they could just stick her and walk away."

The Knight sighs shakily.

"Thank you, truly. I don't know what I would have done, if not for you."

"Don't mention-"

The Fool is cut off by a quick punch to her shoulder.

"Wh- ow!"

"Idiot clown! Did you not think perhaps to accost them!?"

"Hey!" Whines the Fool. "We aren't all armored brutes! You would have me tackle an assassin?"

"Not tackle." Hisses the Knight, and the Fool blinks.

"Oh!" She says. "Well, you should have said before. I assumed you would want them jailed, all proper like."

The Knight grumbles, and the Fool gently places a hand over hers.

"She's safe, fair knight. They failed."

"They failed this time." The Knight counters.

"And every failure makes it harder for them to try again. We'll get her through this, just-"

The Fool pauses.

"Hang on."

She quickly strides to the door to the Queen's chambers and pulls it open, and the Queen stumbles into her arms.

"You are meant to be in bed, my sickly sweet." The Fool says softly, wiping sweat from her brow.

Her Majesty doesn't do well in the damp cold of autumn. Illness abounds, and hits her harder than most. In the wake of the ball she is wracked with fever and an awful, wet, cough.

"I can hear you, talking out here." She says. "But I can't make out the words from my bed. 's infuriating."

"I'm sorry, Majesty. We'll be quieter; please, try to rest." The Knight says, and she tries to guide the Queen back into bed only to be shooed away by a weakly flailing arm.

"Nooo!" Mumbles the Queen. "'m fine, let me listen." She insists, as she escapes both of their grips and slumps against the doorframe. "Have you gotten anything out of my would-be killer?"

The Knight grimaces, watching the Queen slide slowly downward.

"Here, we can move the conversation into your room-" She starts, and the Queen shoos her away again.

"No! I like it here. I want to be on the floor." She says, and the Fool shrugs, and the Knight begrudgingly lets her be as she finishes her slow descent. "Mm. Floor time."

She fetches a thin sheet from the Queen's bed and drapes it over her before continuing.

"They won't talk. Say they'll just wait for the new king to let them go."

"New king, eh?"

"Tell 'em I'll let them go if they tell us. No hard feelings." Murmurs the Queen.

"King, yeah. Which narrows things down, but not a lot. We can rule out any unmarried women, for this assassination plot anyway."

"And if they don't tell us, then we have 'em executed right now. See their king save 'em from that." She continues, half listening.

"Well if we solve this assassination plot hopefully anyone else thinking about it will think twice." Says the Fool.

The Knight grunts. "'Hopefully' is doing a lot of work, there."

"Could I have some water please?" Asks the Queen, after a short coughing fit; and her knight is up before she's finished asking.

"Of course, I'll be right back Highness."

She leaves, and the Fool joins the Queen on the floor.

"Hello, Your Majesty."

"Hello, my charming fool." The Queen says, smiling weakly. "I didn't tell you. The banana thing, where you stole their knife and replaced it with a banana? That was funny."

"Thank you, Highness."

"Tried to kill me with a banana, how absurd."

"I know, Highness." Says the Fool, straight-faced. "That shit was bananas."

[elminx]

One of the things that I love about houseplants is that they teach you things.

I was not expecting this lesson to be about pests, but here we are. (It's really okay. Everything is under control.)

Last week my partner and I were inspecting the cane of one of my dracaena that wasn't looking super great. It was squishy exactly - not actively rotting - but it also wasn't as hard and strong as the cane above it (it was at dirt level). While doing so, my partner noticed (they have much better eyesight than I do) a tiny bug jumping on the surface of the soil.

Bugs on my plants isn't a new thing per se but it's Winter so there aren't outside bugs which severely limits the number of inside bugs. And I jumped to the conclusion that the bug was either making or eating the spot of weakness on the cane of my plant.

Part of it is that there is a ton of emphasis on "bad bugs" in the plant community. And people with huge plant collections are full of stories about that one time when they got thrips and it killed half of their houseplants. Mind you half of their houseplants is still more than all of mine, but I have worries.

Anyway, it turned out to be fine - they were probably springtails. We removed the soil and the bugs don't seem to be on any of my other plants. (The dracaena didn't have a rotten or being eaten cane, either) But, I decided that I had gone far too long as a plant parent without owning Neem so we made plans to go to the plant store.

They were having a buy one get one half off houseplant sale.

Even then, I almost made it out of the store without anything other than the Neem. I really want a Scindapsus pictus (Satin Pothos) but the specimens they had in the size that I wanted were very sad looking and over watered. But as I made one more circuit of the store, I realized that they had put the hoyas in the succulent aisle. (I am not sure where I expected them to be but they aren't full sun like the sign said...so?!?)

I sort of said that I wasn't going to get any more hoyas for a while but they had some Lisas (Hoya australis ssp. tenuipes). It turns out that I love the yellow variegation as much in person as I have in photos. Plus my partner immediately fell in love with the Compactas because they look like brains.

I checked the plants in the greenhouse. It wasn't until I came home though that I saw the mealies. (on the Lisa - despite the Compacta's reputation for harboring mealies, neither of us has spotted anything untoward...yet)

There weren't many and I'd only ever seen one mealie infestation in person before and it was an INFESTATION. This is a bit of fuzz between a few branches on one of the three plants in the pot. I'm proud of myself for catching it. And now I get to treat for mealybugs for the first time. Like a real plant mom.

(I've only ever dealt with aphids and fungus gnats prior, at least on inside plants)

I actually thought that I would be more grossed out.

[one-joe-spoopy]

*Rita voice* HIIIIIIIIII!

ALRIGHT, SO, Juno is not a monster hunter per se, but if he happened to shoot something that wasn't entirely an animal then... oh well, a person's got to eat. He also has a mysteriously glowy rifle because I like neon colors and also because it's a faint enough light to blend into the darkness for an actual animal not to see and for a human to avoid the suspiciously red glow. (if I got it wrong then wtv, I'm having fun!!!) He has both eyes but only one is the original, the other one was won in exchange for services rendered, so that's nice.

Peter, on the other hand... Oh boy do I love him so much!!! So he's a faerie, as established earlier, and he has three different looks: his human Skin, his real fae form, and a weird in-between.

Human Skin pretty much looks the way I always hc him: long(ish) dark hair, dark amber eyes, freckles, with the silver streaks in his hair forming almost antlers the way they shoot through the strands. It's weird to look him straight in the eyes (don't actually do that, weird things happen and fae might take that as a challenge) because on the one hand, they're perfectly normal eyes, just like yours and mine, but also they're very weird? and seem to become darker and darker the longer you stare? and also the longer you stare you get the feeling that those aren't actually his eyes?? because they're actually not.

When Peter isn't wearing his human Skin, he's somewhere between a man and a deer, with heavy emphasis on the deer aspects and behavior. He has fur (in shades of black, grey and purple to blend in with the black-grey snow and earth) and long limbs with normal clawed hands at the ends of his arms and feet wide and flat, almost like hooves (he's perched on his toes), and prefers to move on all fours. He also has a giant buck on his shoulders: his face basically emerges from the mouth with the wet edges of its teeth around his temples and jaw, eyes closed serenely (he can see out of the deer's eyes). The buck's legs hang over his shoulders and it works handy for hunting—he lays in wait pretending to be a wounded buck until the animal/human/supernatural creature ventures close to investigate, at which point there's really no hope.

(The in-between form has his face, antlers and human upper body, but waist down is fur and hooves, for making a break for it if needed)

The whole hunter-prey thing was inspired by the story of the silver buck and that one lucky hunter who manages to shoot it, and then Jove added that apparently there was some rich guy that got bored with hunting animals and decided to hunt humans instead and suggested faeries, so I absolutely had to add that to make this magical and spooky enough for my liking! Like I mentioned before, Juno doesn't go out of his way to hunt the fae, but he will take his chances where and when they come. In this case, he's not looking to kill Peter, he's just curious about him and wants to get a closer look (eat his guts for lunch) at the thing he just shot in the hip.

(also Jove (@esquemeencanta) made a picrew of half-human-Skin Peter and I had to include it because he's my favorite lil guy ever!!!!!!)

does anyone want to hear about my deer-faerie-monster Peter and Juno au?

[ihatebnha]

There's waayyy too much pressure on people that write for free on here. I won't say it's all from people that only read because a ton of it seems to be self inflicted pressure maybe because as people we want to keep chasing that high we felt when something really popped off OR we only see value in our work if other people do. But like - not everything (even if you do everything "right") is going to pop off. If someone's main focus is to get notes (which seems to be a lot naturally ofc) then yes you want to appeal to the masses. If you veer off then yes there will be a dip *but* at times that dip will go away because new people will have filled in.

It's just unfortunate because so many people joined to express their interest and now what? Holding back?? For what?! People will either read whats in front of them or and go find the content they want in the sea of blogs that is Tumblr and that has nothing to do with you. And not to mention "readers" (in quotes because "readers" and "writers" is such a silly divide when people should be encouraged to do both) change interests too. There will always be someone that wants to read what you write. Numbers can get to people's heads when it comes to followers or interactions but also last time I checked Tumblr isn't sponsoring a single person in this lil community. In cliche words, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. A post gets 100 notes and not 1000? Your boss isn't going to come to you asking why you didn't hit those numbers. Your followers aren't paying you so if you want to switch it up go for it. And again with the pressure thing, just because you write a Dabi piece doesn't mean you have to be a Dabi blog now lol I mean unless you want to. Heck one day you might decide to write something for side character 10 from half a scene (stares in beefy tired cop from mha) in a no name anime just to get it off your chest and that's totally fine. *sigh* That was a lot and idk if it made sense but basically give yourself the grace to express yourself in your own space.

A lot going on here so I apologize if I don't address it all. Also apologies because I was out when you sent this and couldn't respond.

I think... for the most part, you're right on the mark about most things. Writers sharing any content at all is such a good, good thing, right? But like you said, there's also tons of self-inflicted pressure to do well as well as a shift in views... so even though I agree that people shouldn't base their work's worth on notes... what's being talked about here is how people are craving the old amount of interaction vs. new amount of interaction.

(And not just for singular pieces, but overall. Even if someone is chasing the high of one specific thing that popped off... there is still a noticeable difference between how that occurs now in comparison to when the community was "booming" per se.)

I actually wrote a lot more in response to this that I ended up deleting... but basically the distinction here is just between craving notes specifically... and craving the appreciation of those like-minded to you... similar to how much easier it was to find them a year ago.

Besides, though I don't want to invalidate what you said, much of the making content process DOES rely on talking to other people... so creating a space (a blog, such as mine) for both writers + readers means both honoring that dynamic by creating some form of interaction between sides. Not just through notes... which niche stuff does get, but also... comments, reblobs + asks... which is much rarer when it comes to what isn't popular (Bakugo) and are what people are talking about when they complain about topics like this.

Combine that with the fact that the sea of tumblr blogs is now HARDER to use and more concentrated with people who don't use it the same way WE use it/used to use it (AKA, the people who just want one specific thing)... it's not even the lack of notes that people struggle with, but rather, just the fact that, in a way, things are a lot different now. Before, there were places you could go to celebrate broad niches (such as DC, villains + etc)... now it's just... be popular already or post Bakugo or flop as a blog.

And if you want blogs to survive... for readers to BECOME writers... for there to be more than just ten popular people at a time... this is a problem.

(And I could talk about how the self-inflicted pressure comes from feeling like there's still a chance to go back to how it was before, blah blah blah, which makes it harder + etc because we CAN'T)

But I think what I'm just trying to express is that, when we talk about this switch, many writers and readers are just in mourning of what once was.

[criminalminds4days]

Family Matters | Chapter 7: Happy Birthday

Hello people!!

I know I just came back, but school and work are really kicking my butt. I have virtual events, classes, projects and papers... On top of that I have to go to work and I barely have enough time to sleep. I am hoping I'll be able to keep writing, and I already have some chapter written in advance but who knows how my life will be by the time we reach the end of those chapters...

Anyway, I hope you guys are having a good week and a good year so far. Enjoy the chapter and let me know what you think!

P.S. keep in mind I did not have time to proof read this, so it might be wonky.

Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, violence and murder references, public embarrassment, and very bad jokes!

Word Count: 5.2k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tag list: @mcntsee @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @evelyncade @haylaansmi @paulaern @myfandomlife-blog

************************************************* 

(This gif is not mine)

Chapter 7: Happy Birthday

It was now time to get everything set up for Reid's surprise birthday party. She was still not talking to him, but something within her didn't allow her to abandon the idea of celebrating his day of birth. She wanted so bad to stop wanting to be his friend and talk to him, be around him and hear him laugh, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

"You're gonna let us know your decision soon?" She almost fell down the chair she was on.

"Can you not scare me to death, please?"

"Well stop keeping us in suspense."

"Emily," she stepped down from the chair and used it to sit. "I didn't accept the position, in fact, I told Luke that same day. To help him with his bosses being on his ass I said I would think about it, but I'm going to email them soon to say I won't be transferring. I don't know how Garcia found out but she didn't let me explain that I wasn't even leaving. Then all of you barged in and I just thought it would be funny to let you guys believe I was gonna leave."

"And you've had us in suspense for two days?! Do you know how devastated Reid is? He probably thinks that's why you won't speak to him!"

"That's not the reason I don't talk to him, I ignore him because he's a cheater!" Her mouth closed fast after saying those words.

"What do you mean? Did he cheat at poker or something?"

"No, just forget about it."

"Tell me!"

"No necesitas saber," She said in Spanish. Telling Emily she didn't need to know.

"¿Se te olvida a caso que también hablo español?"

"Yes, I totally forgot you spoke Spanish." She placed for a little bit, deciding whether to tell her or not. "I saw Reid and JJ a couple of weeks ago and they were in a very friendly situation, to say the least."

"Were they making out or something?" She shook her head, and Emily smiled. "Listen, I honestly don't think that they have something going on."

"You didn't see what I did."

"That's true, but I am also not emotionally involved."

"I'm not emotionally involved."

"Sure you aren't." She winked, "does Hotch know you're staying?"

"He was there when I turned down the offer originally."

"That little prick, he's mentioned nothing to me!"

"To you? Interesting." Before Emily could correct herself she had already made her way to the sitting area, setting all the dishes and cups. She looked it over one more time before deciding it was good. "I have to change, I will be back in a half-hour. Everybody should be arriving by then, do you mind just checking that everything is good while I'm gone?"

"Yeah, though it seems rather interesting that you're having a birthday party for a 'cheater' don't you think?"

"It's also weird that you expected Hotch to tell you specifically, rather than the team, things like my possible transfer."

"That's not what I meant."

"Oh, but it is."

"No, it's not!"

"Yes, it is, now bye!" With those last words, she exited the building.

She paced her room. She had about thirty minutes before Spencer arrived and she was about ten minutes away, so she still had some time to figure out what she was going to say or do once the party began. She knew someone would tell him it was she who organized the party, and that would only raise more questions about her current behavior towards him.

"I had already planned it, and I couldn't get a reimbursement for the salon." She said to the mirror. "No, that might be too mean. How about, Whatever else is going on, I am glad you're alive. No, that's too nice." She rubbed her eyes, frustrated with her responses, and then, the best idea she would come up with came to her and she couldn't pass up the opportunity.

Would it backfire? Most likely, but that didn't mean she wasn't gonna try her best for it to not. With one final look at the mirror, she grabbed her keys and made her way to the venue. When she arrived all the cars from her co-workers were parked, except for JJ's, who out of the goodness of her heart had offered to drive the birthday boy. She wouldn't be surprised if Will didn't attend the event, because that would give them some alone time. Absorbed by this thought she almost didn't notice that almost immediately after she exited her car, JJ, Spencer and Will pulled up in their car. When she noticed them she squealed and ducked, but it had been a little too loud, as all three of them turned to her and saw as she very awkwardly tried to hide by ducking next to her car. She sighed and stood up, waving at the trio.

"Dropped a contact." She weakly explained.

"You don't use contracts, nor glasses for that matter." Spencer reminded her.

"No, but my friend does, and she left them in my car, and when I got out, I ended up dropping one."

"Well, it might be time to go in," JJ said, trying to salvage the surprise.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Spencer asked her.

"I... I didn't know I was, it was sort of a last-minute thing."

"Oh, okay." He looked at her expectantly, as if hoping she would acknowledge the date and congratulate him. That was one of the few things that contrasted his serious demeanor, those small moments in which he would just act like a child and have that twinkle in his eyes.

"Anyway, why don't I go ahead and go inside and you guys catch up later."

"No, you can stay with us. I mean, you can be my date. Today doesn't feel like the day to be the third wheel." He gave her another expectant look, hoping she would ask what made today special, or simply acknowledge she knew what day it was. "Besides, we haven't really seen much of each other lately."

"Yeah, life's crazy. Let me take a rain check on that though. I'll see you all later!" She tried to walk inside but he took her arm, preventing her from leaving.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, she's just trying to prevent you from finding out about your surprise birthday party before we get a chance to say surprise." Spoke the one and only Derek Morgan. They turned to find all of their friends at the entrance with amused smiles on their faces.

"Surprise!" They exclaimed and his eyes lit up even more, if that was possible, at the sight.

"Can you let me go now, please?" He nodded and mumbled an apology as he let go of her arm, she moved next to Emily and avoided all eye contact with everybody.

"Way to go champ, you almost ruined it." The woman jokingly whispered in her ear.

"Happy birthday Spencer!" Everybody said.

"Thank you guys, this means so much to me. I can't believe you all took the time to plan this."

"Actually, it was all-"

"Emily! This was all Emily's idea." She exclaimed before JJ could finish the sentence.

"Well, thank you so much, Emily." He said to her. She couldn't help but notice a small hint of disappointment in his tone, but she decided to not read too much into it.

"Yeah, you're welcome." This one said, shooting a glance at her friend. "How about we go inside and get some food?" Everybody cheered and they all made their way to the table that she had set up earlier.

"So my idea, huh?" She mumbled.

"Shut up Emily, you don't need to read into everything."

"I'm not reading into stuff, it's all just out in the open."

"Whatever."

The dinner had gone great, everyone seemed to be having a great time, especially the birthday boy, though something kept bugging him and she wasn't sure what it was.

"So, have you made a decision about your transfer?" He directly asked her once the conversation had died down.

"Are you asking me?"

"Is anyone else considering a transfer?"

"Touche." She instinctively looked at Emily and Hotch, who casually were sitting next to each other, 'out in the open' she immediately thought. Emily gave her a pointed look while her boss simply nodded slightly. "I'm still thinking. Luke made some really interesting points about the position."

"For example, his deep voice." Emily teased.

"A raise in salary." She countered.

"How do you even know Agent Alvez? I heard of him, but I didn't even know what he looked like before this week." Garcia questioned.

"He was a mentor, per se, when I was finishing up my courses at the academy. I ended up going on my first mission as a graduate with him and his team, I was actually going to start with them when Hotch requested me for the BAU."

Everybody seemed a little impressed by this knowledge. It was true she never really shared her stories, and it was mostly because they were filled with embarrassment, but this was work-related, so it seemed okay.

There seemed to be more questions emerging but before they could be asked, footsteps were heard at the entrance, and soon enough, Anna, Tyler, her aunt Becky (Anna's mother), and her mom walked in.

"Who in the-"

"Happy birthday to my favorite son-in-law!" Her mother cheered and before he even had a chance to stand up he was already engulfed into a hug.

"Son-in-law? Reid, is there something we need to know?" Questioned Derek.

"What are you guys doing here?" She spoke, feeling her throat dry out.

"Well, your mom told us it was Spencer's birthday and that you organized a birthday dinner for him, so we thought we would stop by and congratulate him," Anna said.

"Wait, that's your mom?!" Garcia asked.

"Is there something you two need to share with the rest of us?" This time the question came from Hotch.

She turned to the uninvited guests and gave them the fakest smile to ever exist. "Family, can I have a word with you all, outside? Now."

"Aren't you gonna introduce us to your team?" Her cousin asked, a smile playing on her lips.

"Yes, of course." She turned to Emily, begging with her eyes for help.

"Aaron, do you mind coming with me to my car. I seemed to have left something there."

"Right now?"

"Yes right now. It's important." She basically dragged him out of the venue, and she took a deep breath.

"Well, Mother, Anna, Tyler, and Aunt Becky," she signaled to the uninvited attendees. "This is my team, Penelope Garcia, SSA Morgan, SSA Jareau, and her husband detective Will, SSA Rossi, and you already know Dr. Reid. Team, this is my family."

"Pardon me if I sound rude by pointing this out, but you seem familiar," Derek mentioned.

"Well duh, we're one of the wealthiest families out there. The Blackwood family is very well known, and we've had our fair share of magazine covers." Anna said with glee.

"Blackwood? Wait, that's your last name, but you go by-"

"ANYWAY!" She interrupted JJ, "let us congratulate the birthday boy and celebrate, let's worry about titles later!" She grabbed her mother away from Spencer and placed her and the rest of her family in additional chairs that were part of the venue.

"So, how old are you turning Spencer?" Tyler asked, with a hint of annoyance.

"Thirty." The mentioned responded. Both of them stared at each other and she couldn't decide if what was happening between them was pure hatred or sexual tension.

"I thought you didn't like older men that much."

"It is of wise people to change their mind." She responded.

"I honestly feel like I am missing so much information right now," Derek said out loud.

"Same." JJ and Penelope added.

"I think I have a somewhat good idea of what's happening," Rossi said.

"Well, as a gift from me and my daughter, here are the keys to the Noire museum downtown. I personally think it would be fantastic for your children to grow up going there every weekend or something."

"Mother!" She exclaimed.

"Thank you, but I can't accept that, it is too much." Spencer intervened.

"Nonsense. You are the only son-in-law I will ever have; let my daughter and I spoil you."

"Yes Reid, let your future mother and future wife spoil you," Rossi spoke, a hint of glee in his eyes.

"Have you proposed already?!"

"No!" They both exclaimed. She had no idea how much more of this she could take.

"Okay, let me get this straight, Reid and you have been dating, and you didn't tell any of us?! How long has this been going on?"

"Well-"

"One year, and about four months, right cousin?" Anna was asking to get murdered.

"Actually, it's one year five months, and six days since we met, but we've only been together for one year three months and 4 days. Unless I confused my numbers again." He gave her a look and she fought the urge to not smile. Sure, she had to pretend they were a couple, but she was still mad at him.

"Reid getting his numbers wrong?" Will whispered.

"Yeah, because of his dyslexia," Tyler said as if it was obvious.

"Of course, his dyslexia! How could we forget Will?" JJ added. She looked completely surprised and kept glancing back between Spencer and her, but her tone was controlled, making sure the non-profilers in the room would not see through her. She couldn't help but wonder if the blonde was at all upset by the situation, after all, if she was right JJ was Spencer's girlfriend. The reminder made her frown, but she soon erased it from her face: one problem at a time.

"Well, this was grand, getting to know each other but I am sure you guys have a long drive and-"

"Don't worry cousin, we made time for the party. After all, Spencer is practically family, and you two are just so perfect for each other."

After her words, the steps of Emily and Hotch made the room go silent. He gave her a knowing look and took his previous seat as well as her friend who gave her a wink. This was going to be a disaster.

"So cousin, you guys hadn't told anybody about your relationship? Why keep it a secret?"

"The FBI has very strict policies, and both agents needed to demonstrate that their work in the field would not be affected by their relationship, and it hasn't," Aaron said, giving her a faint nod.

"Wait, but what does that mean for your transfer?" Garcia asked. Her eyes opened in shock because nothing could ever go right.

"What transfer?" Her aunt Becky questioned.

"I got offered a position with the team I did my first case with. But that's really not gonna change my relationship with Spencer. It's not like I'm leaving the country if I accept it. If anything I would spend more time in D.C."

"Interesting."

"Listen, family, I really appreciated having you here and taking the time to come and congratulate Spencer, I'm sure he's so happy that you guys could be here, but it's getting late and since all of us have to be back in the office tomorrow morning we're probably gonna call it a night soon."

"Of course darling." Her mother winked at her and Spencer as if suggesting that was not the reason the two wanted people gone.

"Before we leave though, we would love to get a picture of the two of you. It's not every day you get to celebrate your partner's birthday number thirty." The annoying blonde she had for a cousin suggested.

"Maybe another time."

"No, I think that's a great idea." Morgan chipped.

"Sure, why not?" Spencer said casually.

Was this man crazy? Did he not understand that their boss was right there and this could cost them their careers?!

She sighed and approached the brunette she placed her arms around his torso as he enveloped her in a hug, they smiled for the camera and waited a few seconds for pictures to be taken.

"Now Kiss!" Anna said and followed by that Garcia and Morgan joined her in a chorus of "kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss." The rest of the team, except for Hotch joined in, and she made sure to remember to kill Emily at her next best opportunity.

She cursed internally and turned her face, meeting his eyes for the first time in days. Sure, they had made accidental eye contact from time to time in the last few days, but she had tried her hardest to make it rare, and now she felt somewhat vulnerable. He gave her a small nod and leaned in, his lips touching hers ever so softly. It had been over two months since they had last kissed, but she could remember the taste as if it was yesterday.

A couple of minutes and cheers later they broke apart, his hand immediately reaching for hers. She tried not to wince or remove it, but it seemed like an impossible challenge.

"So cute!" The woman said, disgust in her voice. "Anyway, happy birthday Spence, here are some books that we thought you might like." She placed them on the table and attempted to walk towards him and hug him, but both she and Spencer made it clear that was not an option. There was something about her spanking him during the retreat that didn't really sit well with either of them. "You two are just made for each other, aren't you?" She commented before walking back towards her husband.

"Happy birthday Spencer, I hope the next time we see each other it's to ask me about an engagement ring." Her mother squeezed his cheeks and planted a kiss on each one to later repeat the process on her daughter. Aunt Becky simply waved and Tyler gave the couple a head nod before the four left the building.

There was a silence, she let go of his hand rather abruptly and separated herself from him a couple of inches as the rest of the team observed them. "Should I go set up the karaoke machine?" She asked as she tried to navigate the room.

"You should tell us why none of us knew the two of you were a thing," Morgan said.

"Agreed." The rest of the team said.

"Really, Emily you too?"

"That kiss made me doubt."

"Let me just make sure they're gone." She walked towards the entrance, as her mother's vehicle drove away she sighed with relief and made her way back to the table. "All right, let us get this over with."

"Why didn't you tell us you two were dating?" Penelope asked.

"Because we're not." She responded.

"Really? Then what was all that?" Morgan arched an eyebrow, clearly not impressed by her response.

"I asked Dr. Reid to pretend to be my boyfriend for a family event because my cousin kept telling me she was better than me and I was gonna end up alone because I was horrible and-" everybody observed her, the message clear. "Okay, she didn't say that exactly but the intention was clear! Anyway, because he went with me now my family thinks we're a couple and we have to pretend we are."

"That can't be it, please tell me you're lying and you two are actually in love," Penelope begged.

"Sorry, but Dr. Reid and I are simply co-workers who got caught in a big lie because of my big mouth." She shrugged, "Hotch, I promise, you have nothing to worry about."

"I know." He said, but something in his tone suggested otherwise.

"But that kiss though. It seemed more real than it should." JJ pointed out.

She looked at her, wanting to say something to hint that she knew about her and Spencer and that she knew that comment was coming from a place of jealousy, but she decided against it. She simply rolled her eyes, as if disregarding said kiss and made her way to the karaoke machine.

After everyone had moved on from the conversation and had begun cheering at those who participated by singing one or two songs, she decided to take a little break and get some air.

“If I didn’t know any better I would say you hate me or something.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Then what is it, because ignoring me and barely answering me isn’t cutting it anymore. I thought we were friends.”

“JJ, there are just some things that I can’t condone.”

“Like what?”

“Cheating.”

“I didn’t cheat, I was the first one to the office, so I grabbed the first doughnut. I am sorry if you liked chocolate glazed ones.”

“I am not talking about that! Though I am a little upset about that too!”

“Then what did I do?”

“Are you sleeping with Spencer?”

After those words came out of her mouth and JJ processed them, the blonde couldn’t help but laugh her ass off. She observed as the woman continued to laugh without a sign of stopping soon. “Me, and Spencer?” she asked between laughs, “Have you seen this?” She pointed at the ring in her hand and began to draw images with her hands as if hoping to represent that she was married, and she and Spencer were nothing but friends, she even confessed to her second pregnancy, something only Spencer knew about. But the other woman didn’t really understand, she thought everything was signaling at her avoiding to answer. “You are a funny one! Now, let’s go back inside, I will buy you a whole box of glazed doughnuts on Monday.” She managed to say as she continued to laugh, “me and Spencer? Hilarious!”

After watching her enter the venue, she waited before following suit. The whole scene seemed bizarre at best. Her confrontation had backfired and now she was back to square one on that front. On the bright side, she would be getting her chocolate glazed doughnuts so not everything was lost.

After two more hours, the venue was completely empty. Though they didn't have to go into the office the next day as she had told her mother, they all were more than happy to sleep early when given the opportunity. She had stayed behind to clean up some of the areas, hoping to make it easier for the cleaning crew the next morning.

"Do you need help with that?"

She jumped at the voice. "Jesus! What is it with you people and trying to give me a heart attack?" She said to the brunette.

"Sorry, I just wanted to help."

"Shouldn't you be heading home?"

"That's the thing, JJ and Will got a call from the nanny and they had to go. I was in the restroom, so I didn't know and they, well they left me behind." He looked really embarrassed by the situation.

Don't do it, she told herself. Don't say the words that you're thinking, she urged. "I can give you a ride home." She said despite her best efforts.

"Thank you."

"Yeah, no problem."

She turned back to her duty and the silence that engulfed them was so awkward she almost backed out from giving him a ride home.

"What did I do?"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm a profiler, you know? And I'd like to think I'm good at my job. I know you're mad at me, I just wish I knew why."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Please, I can't keep going on like this. I miss you, I miss spending time together, joking around, and just being us. I really miss it and I will do anything so we can go back to being friends."

"Dr. Reid, six months ago we weren't even friends." She pointed out.

"But four days ago we were."

"Are you sleeping with JJ?" She blurted out before she processed the words.

His face went from confusion to amusement and soon he was laughing his ass off. Great, now both of them had laughed at her.

"Me and JJ? You do know she's married, right?" He said between laughs.

"Not everyone that gets married is faithful."

"You're mad at me because you thought JJ was cheating on Will with me? Why would you even think that?"

"I saw you two at the office the other day."

"JJ asked me to be the godfather of her second child. She's pregnant. And no, it's not mine." His smile grew wider as the laughter stopped as if knowing she thought he was cheating was the best news he could receive.

"Oh." She mumbled, everything making sense. JJ’s reaction, the whole signing, and laughing. The idea seemed so foreign to both of them she couldn’t help but feel like an idiot for thinking it to be a possibility. She wanted to hide under a rock and never come out again. How could she possibly think that the two of them would do such a thing? Now that she had all the pieces the idea seemed so far-fetched she couldn't even understand what led her down that path. "I-I'm sorry, I interpreted everything wrong."

"I'm glad you did though." He said, placing his hand on her shoulder. "It gave me a really important insight."

"About what?"

"I need to tell you something." He said, and his other hand moved a strand of hair behind her ear. She couldn't help but think this was all too similar to a movie and how horrible that was, and yet how much she wished she was part of a movie in that precise moment. A part of her already knew where this was going and she felt all bubbly inside at the notion. "I like you."

"I like you too Spencer. You're my best friend." She spoke, completely shattering her internalized movie.

"No, I like you romantically. If it was up to me that kiss would have not been as short nor as innocent as it was."

"Why are you being a dumbass?" She said as she pushed his hands off her shoulders. "Quit playing, let's get you home."

He shook his head, slightly annoyed by how dense she was. "Will you please stop for a minute? I am trying to tell you about my feelings for you because I have been hiding them for days and every time I see you I want to kiss you and hold your hand. When I saw Luke and you, first I thought he was kind of hot, but then I saw him as a threat, and I was dying to punch him in the face. Because I want to be more than your best friend. I've probably wanted to be more than your friend for a really long time, but it took Emily barging into my hotel room and scaring Derek into the cafeteria for me to realize it and now I know that you must feel something for me, otherwise why on earth would you get so upset about the idea of JJ and I having an affair?  So, can you please put the pieces together and come here so we can make out in the middle of a salon on my birthday like I dreamt last night?"

"You're joking, right?" She said, her heartbeat speeding up, half of her body wanting to run and the other half wanting to do exactly what Spencer had suggested. Well, it was more of an eighty percent for staying and twenty percent for running.

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"You actually like me?"

"Yes! And I'm pretty sure you like me."

"I mean, sure, you're funny and a great friend. Not to mention cute, well I guess we have to be honest here, you're hot, like really hot, but just because I see that doesn't mean I like you, does it?"

"Do you want to kiss me right now?"

"Yes! Wait, no! I mean yes! I-"

"Let me help you out a little with that." Before she could ask how Spencer had already shortened the distance between them, placing his lips on her. This was the first time they had kissed without an audience, or as a part of their fake relationship. To prove how real this was, Spencer didn't hold back. First, his hands were on her cheeks, but they slowly moved to her hair, hips, and pretty much anywhere he could find. Hers never left his hair, appreciating how soft it actually was and the fact that despite his immense love of his hair and that he despised people touching it, not once had he complained.

She thought back on her conversations with Emily, on how Reid always made her feel safe. Sitting on a couch with her head resting on his shoulder had felt so right, and the idea of losing him to JJ had made her spiral. She knew that Will's feelings were not going to be the only ones hurt if it had been true. She wanted him.

She liked him.

It was so ridiculously obvious that she had to laugh. One would think metaphorically, but since she can't ever have a good moment without ruining it, her body decided to actually laugh, interrupting what had become a heated make-out session. As she tried to stop her laughter, he looked at her, confused.

"That bad?"

"What?" She said between laughter, "no! It's not that, it's just that I am so dumb. How did I not see that I like you so fucking much?" She continued, her laugh subsiding. "Spencer Reid, will you be my real boyfriend?"

"This has to be the best birthday present ever." He smiled, “but I don’t know if I am convinced by this offer."

"How about I second it by offering a make-out session in my car, and instead of driving you to your apartment, you can stay with me tonight?"

"Yes, please!"

“Is that a deal then?”

“How could I ever say no to you.”

After what seemed like a lifetime, but also a blink of an eye, they had made their way to her apartment. His shirt was wrinkled, and both their lips were read as can be. The small hickeys that he had graciously given her were now on full display as her neck was left exposed. She opened the door and he stepped inside after her, making sure to close and lock the entrance.

“Before we go any further, I need to ask.”

“No, Spencer, I am not a virgin.” She responded with a smile.

“That’s not what I was going to ask.” She observed him, encouraging him to continue. “Are you seriously thinking of leaving the BAU to go work with that jerk?”

“First off, he’s not a jerk. You don’t need to be jealous; Luke and I are just friends. And secondly, I turned down the offer as soon as he presented it to me. I was just giving you all a hard time.”

He frowned, clearly not as amused by that knowledge as she was. “There is something you should know.”

“What is it?” Her smile faded as his expression turned to a serious and concerned one.

“I sleep on the right side of the bed.”

“But you said-“

“I know what I said, I simply didn’t want you to feel bad, so I took the left side.”

“Spencer…” They almost fell as she crashed her lips to his. For others, this simple gesture might seem like nothing but knowing he would do something just to accommodate her was somehow so amazing and heartwarming. This knowledge summed by her newfound feelings were giving her the urge to pull him to her bedroom right then and there, but sadly for her, there were still certain things that needed to be addressed. “Before I undress you, and trust me I am dying to do that, I need to request something from you.”

“Anything.”

“Stop wearing tight pants to work.”

“Excuse me?”

“You have a very nice ass, I have noticed. And recently you have decided to use dress pants that don’t let me forget about this knowledge. We need to keep our relationship secret, at least for the time being, and watching you in those pants is not gonna help me, at all.”

“On one condition.”

“Yes?”

“You need to stop wearing blue.”

“But it’s my favorite color!”

“I know, and you look really good in it, like really good. It’s not good for me.” He planted a soft kiss on her neck, and that alone would have made her agreed to pretty much anything he asked.

“Okay, yes.”

“Good, now can we please get to business.”

“Never call us having sex business again.”

“Noted, as long as this isn’t the only time we have sex.”

“As if.”