#but the inevitable end of that being 'actually what if femslash... was about men' has come

[ot3]

we've taken this too far guys it's time to pull back

[perverse-idyll]

Thanks for tagging me, @danpuff-ao3! <3 And it's so good to see you talking about your fics again. I love your thoughtfulness about your work and the whole writing process. (And I love your work itself, of course.)

"Self-rec time! What are your favorite five fics that you've written and why? After replying to this ask, feel free to pass on to five other writers to spread the love. 💗"

This comes at an odd time for me because I feel very disconnected from my fic and deeply unimpressed by it. Every time I open the current chapter I'm working on, I think, "What an absolute slog." So maybe focusing on what I love (or remember loving) will rekindle the missing spark! Plus it's been umpteen weeks since I last posted here, and it would be good to show signs of life. (I'm not giving up on writing or my OTP. RL just kind of saps the will to live sometimes. Experience tells me this too shall pass.)

Tagging anyone who wishes to celebrate their faves because I'll be poking at this while at work, and it may take me hours*. *days, as it turns out.

I actually don't have that many fics, which is embarrassing, considering how long I've been in fandom. The same handful just keep cropping up. So I'm going to be really aggravating and mostly talk about WIPs:

The Afterlight - the Snape/Harry WIP I'm currently working/ intermittently fixated on. It's got a serial killer subplot that still hasn't kicked in after 52K words and a Denial of Feelings dysfunctional romance heavily influenced by the fact that both men died in canon and forever after have to live with that knowledge. (Here we have the author's perpetual Denial of (Snape-ish) Death on full display 😉). The fic features disillusioned!Harry, an offshoot of the angry!Harry who often turns up in my work, alongside a Snape whose feelings, whatever else they may be, are typically obsessive to the point of self-sacrifice. They fight a lot and fuck a lot and at one point Snape takes a curse for Harry. Hurt/comfort as courtship! Probably my schmaltziest ending ever, and quite likely a narrative mess, but it's got its hooks into me so I really want it to turn out halfway decent.

Year of the Thestral - the only non-WIP here, a Severus/Minerva fic I had on the back-burner for years and finally finished. It uses a dubcon relationship as a lens to examine the damage done to - and price exacted upon - all and sundry during Snape's year as headmaster. The conceit involves Minerva at the end of her life reminiscing to a biographer, finally facing the memories and meaning of Snape's actions, the layers of betrayal and inevitability of sacrifice, and the furious despair that lay behind Severus' treatment of her. It offers the possibility of forgiveness and even retrospective love, and is woven throughout with femslash feelings. For me, it's a meditation on the punishing aspects of Snape's agreement to play the monster, as well as a character study of McGonagall, undertaken as a tribute.

The Blood of Stars - possibly my favorite of my current WIPs, put on hiatus in 2014. It starts with Snape basically being kicked out of the afterlife by Dumbledore and Lily and discovering, as he searches Hogwarts' post-battle wreckage, that he can't speak to Harry. Literally, no words. Partly in retaliation, he commits an act of heartache and cruelty that affects Harry's marriage. But he also reappears at desperate moments in Harry's life to provide help. There's much to-do over an underground prison, a mutual fascination despite their problems communicating (although one might suggest that Snape's inability to tell Harry what he thinks actually improves the situation), two dramatic death scenes, and more afterlife shenanigans. It also has what may be my favorite ending for any fic I've written thus far, and I'm determined to finish it if only for those scenes alone. Oh, and it's my version of horribly romantic. Also, hubris: the entire middle section is written in first-person Harry POV, which I know will take out a chunk of my potential audience, but I wanted to try something I'd never done before. Anyway, it's next in line once I finish The Afterlight (yes, I know, how many years will that take? But hope springs eternal).

Impossible Without It - another Snarry WIP put on hiatus in 2014! Ah, I was so full of ideas then and struggling not to let the bastards get me down. Well, I haven't given up on this one, either. It's another angry!Harry fic (I do write optimistic!Harry, but really, none of my Harrys are well-adjusted). In fact, it's a memory-holed Harry who can't recall killing Voldemort and an amnesiac Snape who works in a Muggle gay bar. The story is told partly through their sexual addiction to each other, fueled by secrets and lies and out-of-control hunger, desire for vengeance and of course the question of what really happened the day Voldemort died and Harry lost that moment in time while Snape forgot crucial parts of who he is (like the fact he's a wizard). They don't treat each other well, but they become so bound up in their obsession they can't let go. Eventually Harry discovers a way to restore Snape's memories, and Snape makes him regret it. Believe it or not, this one has a happy ending! Well, depending on whether you think a rather fucked-up relationship can be described as 'happy.'

The Threefold Death, or: The Lost World (long version), Snarry, WIP. I was originally going to choose When the Rose & the Fire Are One, but I've singled it out often enough that at this point I'm not sure what's left to say. I had Threefold Death hidden in a collection for a while because I couldn't stand to look at it, but that didn't help so I've removed it from its cage. I'm still haunted by a lot of the scenes, and I love fooling around with fairy tale imagery. I also like playing with ambiguity: how much of Snape's love for Harry is his own and how much is the Forest using Snape to draw Harry into its clutches. Ditto Albus Severus, the third in their circle/cycle of debts and devotion, who can't stop setting off tragic consequences despite the best of intentions. (Well, maybe not the best.) The POV in this one starts with Harry and switches to Al, partly because I'm a sucker for outsider POV and partly because I want to examine Al as a mixture of Harry and Snape, neither as loving as his father nor as ruthless as his mentor and therefore the weakest link in this Game of Three. But it is ultimately his love for them both that closes the circle, and he's the one who ends up losing the most. (Sorry, Al! Even if it's partly your own fault.) And this is another ending with lines and images I'm rather proud of. Also a ton of bittersweetness. Ever since I hauled it out of storage, I've been having all sorts of daydreams about character moments, so this fic is definitely simmering again.

[incomprehensiblelentils]

@dollsome-does-tumblr​ does this and opened it up to anyone and I am feeling chatty today SO!

Because I co-write a lot with my lovely wife, I might answer some questions including those co-written stories, or I might not, depends on how I feel when I get there.

name:

Megan but I go by Lentils most places on the internet, Shadowcrawler over on AO3

fandoms:

at the moment: MCU, especially Agents of SHIELD and Daredevil; Terminator: Dark Fate; Halt and Catch Fire. Oh and I wrote Dollhouse fanfics a thousand years ago. Sometimes I will watch a movie/show and think “those two girls should be gay” and bang out 2k of fic about it and then never write for that fandom again. (I THOUGHT this was going to be HACF but as it turns out, no, it’s not done with me yet.)

where you post:

AO3, at Shadowcrawler. I also have a tumblr @lentils-writes​ where theoretically I post links to fics/advertise them in the tags, because I used to be real precious about not putting porn on this blog, but fuck it.

most popular multi-chapter fic:

Co-written, it’s definitely mallverse, which is I think the reason most writers definitely hate us because it’s very long and there are a lot of tags lmao. The problem is that every tagged character HAS shown up in a significant fashion at some point so we can’t just...untag them! It doesn’t update weekly anymore because we’re exhausted by life lmao so at least there’s that???

As for a multi-chapter fic that was just me, I don’t tend to do that so much, so actually it’s say you will, my 3-chapter Endgame fix-it where Clint dies instead of Natasha and Natasha and Laura have a past. It actually has over 1000 hits which is very exciting! I feel like it’s...niche in a way that is frustrating but understandable lol. I put a lot of my heart into it and some people really liked it, so that’s gratifying.

favorite story you’ve written so far:

Co-written, I think our SHIELD Dollhouse AU is very underrated for the amount of work we put into it. Author bias evident here because I love Dollhouse warts and all, and it’s a lot of fun translating episode plots as well as the general trajectory of the show into stuff that will work with SHIELD characters. We don’t just rewrite episodes, we really try and rework them as needed. Also it features both Skimmons and my beloved rarepair Bobbi/Kara, though of course they won’t get together until later.

Of my own stuff, I’m still really really proud of the AU where Kara Palamas didn’t die. I think that was a pretty severe misstep of the show and I think I did a good job of fixing it. (I haven’t forgotten Kara, promise!)

fic you were nervous to post:

lolololol I wrote some uh. Terminator pornography last year and. They are very porny! I had co-written a bunch of smut obviously, but that was the first time I’d posted like, PWP all by myself on purpose??? and that was TERRIFYING. Also I was very nervous to post the Engame fix-it because that was my own personal goodbye/tribute to Natasha.

how you choose your titles:

They are always either song lyrics or jokes (such as Three Lawyers and a Baby, my Daredevil Accidental Baby Acquisition fic). My WIP docs are always titled either obvious shit like “RoseJannah horse girls” or memes like “what if we belonged to a fire cult and we fucked haha just kidding unless...?” or “Morgan has two mommies.”

do you outline?:

B and I typically outline for the co-written fics, although it’s more often chapter-by-chapter outlines since that’s how we write them. On occasion we’ve fully planned multi-chapter stuff out in advance but that’s less common. Oh and the one-shots are nearly always outlined as well, just to keep ourselves organized.

When I have written planned multi-chapter fics in the past I have used outlines - particularly for the Kara one and I had to do that for the SHIELD Kill Bill AU because I was trying to follow the format of the movie. For things that are allegedly supposed to be one-shots I almost never outline, which turns out to be a terrible idea when they inevitably balloon beyond my control and become 45k like say you will. That one, I wrote out a list of scenes I thought needed to be in it and then I wrote about 75% of those scenes and then I wrote a bunch more scenes I hadn’t planned for. Don’t be like me, kids!

complete fics:

According to AO3, 89 as of right now. Uh, you do not want me to list all of them, here’s a link, I guess!

in progress:

I don’t understand what the difference is between this question and the WIP questions lmao help????

posted WIPs that I have active plans to continue at this time:

Cowritten: mallverse as I said, and its femslash smut oneshots spinoff and character flashbacks spinoff and older characters/teachers spinoff (these get updated, uh, irregularly), the first half of a Piper/Snowflake SHIELD s7 fic that we are planning on finishing the second half of soonish, SHIELD Dollhouse AU, SHIELD Teen Beach AU, SHIELD Buffy AU. You may notice a pattern!

By myself, I have: Have Your Elf a Merry Little Christmas, a Terminator Hallmark Christmas fic that I ambitiously posted the first chapter of in 2019 and then lost steam immediately (I am going to go back to it sooner or later bc I had some cute ideas for it); the SHIELD Fate of the Furious AU that has one chapter to go and which I do intend on finishing eventually; Three Lawyers and a Little Lady, the Daredevil Accidentally Baby Acquisition AU that is literally just cute kidfic and poly avocados and which I have a bunch of ideas for and just need to buckle down and finish some.

posted WIPs that I have given up on:

Lol so there’s a Dollhouse Caroline/Bennett Doctor Who AU that I wrote purely as idfic and which nobody ever cared about except me, and I think that ship has sailed! RIP darlings. I also had an ongoing Skimmons series waaaay back when where I posted oneshots that were like missing scenes or gay readings for each s1 episode, and I just feel like it would be inauthentic to even try and finish it at this point. (It does include the first ever Skimmons fic to be posted on AO3! Really truly, there’s one fic that shows up as older but it’s an ongoing fic and was updated with the tag way after I posted mine.)

exchange fics due soon/unrevealed:

I haven’t done an exchange since like 2015 lololol I am so bad at them. I am currently working on finishing up my MCU Femslash bingo card, very late, and I do have plans for almost all of the remaining squares!

WIPs that live in my fanfic folder and are incomplete and who knows when they’ll be finished:

“RoseJannah horse girls,” which has been put on hold temporarily but is literally just Rose and Jannah being gay while riding orbaks

half of a Daisy/Gwen fic from Marvel Rising because I know they’re not making any more of those but I stg those two were really gay

multiple fics about Elise Nelson-Page including: avocados Halloween with smol Elise, Aunt Elektra very reluctantly taking smol Elise shopping until she realizes smol Elise also likes weapons (she buys her a fake katana), Uncle Frank is a pushover and spoils the shit out of Elise, and baby Elise has a high fever and everyone freaks out but then she gets better and smile at them for the first time (inspired by baby me lol).

coming soon/not yet started:

“Morgan has two mommies,” yet another Endgame fix-it where Maya Hansen did not die in Iron Man 3 and she resurfaces and she and Pepper kiss and eventually she adopts Morgan

Claire and Colleen go on a nice date to get coffee/tea where Danny doesn’t interrupt them goddammit

Bobbi/Kara Warehouse 13 AU which is sort of like “For the Team” but gayer ft. grappling hook

X-Men: Evolution Tabby/Amara fluff

Cameron/Donna character study disguised as smut

Grace proposes to Dani with a ring made out of the metal from her power source and Carl officiates the wedding 

Dani gets horny watching Grace eat a peach and jerks off and Grace ends up hearing her and then they fuck (I have been calling this “the peach fic” in my head but I gotta stop being delicate about it lmfao it is just porn)

B and I have plans to do a Nico/Karolina Jasper in Deadland AU but we keep forgetting

I MUST WRITE FOGGY AND KAREN SADLY FUCKING IN A CHURCH WHILE THEY MOURN MATT THIS YEAR I STG

do you accept prompts:

uhhhhhh I have on occasion written a prompt for someone before but it’s pretty rare and I have enough trouble writing the shit I come up with in my own head lol. but never say never?

upcoming story you are most excited to write:

I’ve got a bit of the Bobbi/Kara Warehouse fic written and it’s nice to go back to that world. Also I’m weirdly excited about the Cam/Donna smutty character study I mentioned above, I have a lot of what I think are good ideas for it and it’ll be fun.

tagging @unwind-myself @swiftzeldas @swashbucklery @loved-the-stars-too-fondly and, if you want to, you!