#but the guy in season three doesn't crack as many jokes and doesn't grin and laugh at every opportunity

[leupagus]

Ted Lasso, the character, is one of the only representations of 'sometimes getting better with your mental health issues means that you are less visibly happy, and that is okay, because you are not required to be happy in order to be loved' out there and I am really discouraged that so much of the audience is angry at that.

[destinationtoast]

Saving @leupagus 's tags:

#the guy we meet in season one is so so so much sadder and is suffering so much more #than the guy we say goodbye to in season three #but the guy in season three doesn't crack as many jokes and doesn't grin and laugh at every opportunity #I really didn't expect the fandom to interpret that as 'he's even worse off than before!' #when the fact is that when you're able to have an inherent sense of self-worth rather than relying on Doing Everything Right #that you become less manic about making sure everyone likes you all the time #which is what ted did for the first two seasons #I dunno I just wish there was more room for this kind of character #and... for this kind of person

Ted Lasso, the character, is one of the only representations of 'sometimes getting better with your mental health issues means that you are less visibly happy, and that is okay, because you are not required to be happy in order to be loved' out there and I am really discouraged that so much of the audience is angry at that.

[scratchybeardsweetmouth]

#ted lasso#the guy we meet in season one is so so so much sadder and is suffering so much more#than the guy we say goodbye to in season three#but the guy in season three doesn't crack as many jokes and doesn't grin and laugh at every opportunity#I really didn't expect the fandom to interpret that as 'he's even worse off than before!'#when the fact is that when you're able to have an inherent sense of self-worth rather than relying on Doing Everything Right#that you become less manic about making sure everyone likes you all the time#which is what ted did for the first two seasons#I dunno I just wish there was more room for this kind of character#and... for this kind of person#believe mothereffers#theodore lasso (from op’s tags)

it’s really good to read other people’s perspective and this is very interesting. i still don’t fully see this the way the show portrayed it but understand its importance. maybe when i’m braver to do a full rewatch someday, i’ll keep this in mind.

‘he was visibly less happy and that’s okay. he was still loved’

that is true. it’s just that we also saw a ted begin to slowly express what he could not initially - his vulnerabilities, his anger, his pain. and i thought that was equally significant. s1 ted was indeed so much sadder than the guy in s3, and he doesn’t have to joke or charm his way to hide the pains he feels inside for what he really misses and longs for anymore. he began to speak his mind and heart to his family. and i was really cheering for him keeping up with that. because that shit is hard to do. the show not allowing us to hear ted express himself about his choice to go back home was a bit of a let down i.e. cutting off the truth bomb conversation with rebecca. i suppose it is symbolic - it matters to him now, no longer to the audience or anyone else in richmond, that the audience and richmond should trust ted on his uneasy but solid decision. (like fleabag’s i guess). it’s just difficult not to see that he doesn’t talk about it at all throughout the finale, when expressing himself fully has been a journey we’ve been seeing him struggle with since the beginning. 

and this is the belief i want to have for him with his choice to go back to Kansas: he’ll take all he learned and apply it home, for himself, and for his son. but i cannot easily let go that the environment that allowed him to face himself and ‘able to have the inherent sense of self-worth’ was the external love and support he had in Richmond. and now i am the mothereffer who really wants to believe he’ll keep that up or build that for himself in Kansas to continue managing or getting better with his mental health issues.

i admit i can be biased as i’m a shipper, that i longed to hear more from him when he faced rebecca every time - in the stands, in the airport - because the latter in her own journey was also allowing herself to be her most vulnerable and try and ask someone she knows is family to stay when she’s very aware how much she’s pushed people away in the past. she’s sure she wants this person to remain in her life, and she reads in his eyes of his choice not to and the silence just hurts. as much as i value the way they converse with just looks, the understanding of both on the choices they made, and the impact they know they made together for the team and on each other, i just would’ve really liked that expressed verbally as well, more so from ted. probably contradicting myself at this point. maybe i’m just sad that one of the persons that cares and loves him after seeing him for all that he is and allows him to emote all sides of him outside of therapy and of her own volition, is someone he may never see again.

#when the fact is that when you're able to have an inherent sense of self-worth rather than relying on Doing Everything Right#that you become less manic about making sure everyone likes you all the time#which is what ted did for the first two seasons

i want to think about this some more because i don’t think i absorbed this lesson yet. I find that Ted was never manic about making sure Richmond liked him all the time - didn’t care about Wanker, or if the players initially disliked him, or if locals were disappointed in him as a coach, or if a journalist thought he was not good enough. But he did want to do everything right by his family - to give Michelle space to save their marriage, or to make sure his mom is being taken care of while staying with him - without addressing his own issues. Looking through these lenses, going back to Kansas and seeing his self-worth grow, facing Michelle and his mom just might not be as difficult as he might have envisioned it to be, including facing that spending time with henry to be a good father only for him to grow up and leave one day isn’t going to be as scary anymore. If Richmond’s influence helped him take their love with him, then his love for family and especially Henry can never be taken away from him too.

Ted Lasso, the character, is one of the only representations of 'sometimes getting better with your mental health issues means that you are less visibly happy, and that is okay, because you are not required to be happy in order to be loved' out there and I am really discouraged that so much of the audience is angry at that.

[the-semicolonoscopy]

#ted lasso#the guy we meet in season one is so so so much sadder and is suffering so much more#than the guy we say goodbye to in season three#but the guy in season three doesn't crack as many jokes and doesn't grin and laugh at every opportunity#I really didn't expect the fandom to interpret that as 'he's even worse off than before!'#when the fact is that when you're able to have an inherent sense of self-worth rather than relying on Doing Everything Right#that you become less manic about making sure everyone likes you all the time#which is what ted did for the first two seasons#I dunno I just wish there was more room for this kind of character#and... for this kind of person#believe mothereffers#theodore lasso

Ted Lasso, the character, is one of the only representations of 'sometimes getting better with your mental health issues means that you are less visibly happy, and that is okay, because you are not required to be happy in order to be loved' out there and I am really discouraged that so much of the audience is angry at that.