#but the default should be courtesy and kindness

[valewritessss]

“Respect is earned not handed” mfs when they realize they can’t just use that as an excuse to be hateful😨🫢

[wizardologys]

i dont get people being mad about the "culturally christian" thing. i get that atheists/non-christians from christian families don't like to have the label "christian" forced on them, but if it makes you mad, you shouldn't be angry at the people pointing it out. in fact, isn't it kind of validating to acknowledge you've grown up in a system that forces christian philosophy onto on you. and then by acknowledging that, you can heal/grow/move on from it? actively make the effort to unpack what that actually means to you? idk maybe i'm approaching it from a different place of experience + i'm not an atheist + i didn't grow up christian, but i also can acknowledge how christian values have seeped into my worldview unintentionally. "culturally christian" is not like. a descriptor of one's quintessential character, or a judgement upon anyone, it's just how some people happened to be raised. and if it's not you it's not you. but the acknowledgement of it does not mean you ARE secretly christian and have been the whole time... it just means you were raised in a certain culture and of course that affects you

[platinumaspiration]

Howdy, Simmers! I'm thrilled to present the Ultimate 4T2 Clay Hair Default Replacement Collection, designed to give your Sims a fresh and fabulous new look effortlessly! 💇‍♀️💇‍♂️✨

It's time to redefine Sim style – one fabulous hairstyle at a time. Get ready for a hair revolution with The Ultimate 4T2 Clay Hair DR Collection! 💖🌟

🍡Download - LC | MF 🍡

Updates folder - SFS | MF updated 26 Oct 2024

The nitty gritty details and disclaimers:

This is an entire collection that is interwoven with each other. Hair is repositoried to different ages, genders, defaults, and even hidden toddler hair. It's highly recommended that the collection stay intact and that you have the Ultimate Collection or all EP/SP. Recategorizers do not work with this collection

Not all hair works with each sims' faces and not all sims' faces work with each hair. So keep in mind foreheads, cheeks and ears may poke out. Previews are available at LordCrumps.com

The collection includes add ons that may require the defaults and are flagged as "Store Edition" hair. TS4 hairs range from base game to the most recent Stuff Pack (Home Chef Hustle). More hair may be included as add ons in the future.

Enable Store Edition icon

I wouldn't convert some hair without their outfit counterparts. Please make sure to remove conflicts. The outfits include:

ubodymascotknight_EP7 mbodysuperninja pubodybadger_badger pubodybadger_brown ubodycommercialmascot_buns ubodysocialbunny servo ubodycowmascot (a brighter/whiter version courtesy of tvickiesims)

Most of these hairs exist already in the realm of the community as custom hairstyles. Any of my hair previously converted (shrink, servo, santa hat, etc) should be removed; they'll be included in this collection.

TOU: Please feel free to use these as a template for your defaults and recolor the hair as you'd prefer for download purposes. I only ask that you do not reupload these original files (breaking down to packs, gender, etc) as they are intertwined and may not work without their exclusive counterparts. Please do not make these hairs as customs for reupload.

There are a few hair/items that use cc: credit: nolansims, sforzinda, arethabee

This took about... 8 months to complete. I've (re)converted all of these myself to my current expectations of my conversion content. This was play tested thoroughly over the course of that time. If there are any issues, please don't hesitate to send an ask. The file size is massive even compressed, but to be honest it's pretty decent for 500+ hair.

Under the cut are some personal sappy thank you notes that I want to share publicly:

Thank you to the defaulters at sims2defaults database for all your work! Just be kind if/when you tear into it lol

A humongous thank you to those whom have followed and been a part of my journey as a cc creator/converter. This inadvertently marks a huge follower milestone as well and I'm so happy that you all have been a part of this with me for the past (almost) 3 years!

I don't think I would have done this without meeting @lordcrumps over a year ago and joining in his journey for the ultimate 4t2 default collection. He's a true gentleman and scholar 🧐Thank you for play testing, collaborating, and above all, being one of my bestest of friends and confidant.

And, I would never ever had completed this without @tvickiesims. To think she raised me from a terrible toddler right into an angsty teen within that 8 months and still remained a true and close friend through all of it. Thank you for your extensive and detailed play testing, your companionship when I fall apart, and for being my twin flame 🤗

[princelylove]

funny thoughts-- deadbeat dad jotaro realising jolyne fucking kidnapped someone.

honestly just goes for any of the jojo parents. imagine your joseph and you visit your daughter's house in japan n there's just a random dude??? there???

holly honestly would just enable it tbh. she'd be all "awwwwwww" while jotaro's being a mf creep as he is.

your ever humorous peon---

🌸 anon

Jotaro doesn’t really have a right to comment, there isn’t a world where that sort of behavior wasn’t normalized in his youth. But a kidnapping charge is an entirely different story- alright. Imagine you’re Jolyne. You kidnap your darling, everything is going well, and then you get caught. You go to prison. Your deadbeat father who you haven’t seen since you were a child comes to visit you, and instead of sympathy, he tells you everything you did wrong and what you have to do to do better next time. We’re fighting, old man. There’s no way around it. 

You know, Bruno kind of expected Narancia to snap one day. His abandonment issues are definitely something that needs to be worked on. But Pannacotta? He doesn’t even ask for seconds when he’s clearly starving, how is he going to hold an entire human being captive? Pannacotta had the courtesy to not hold you in his own house (Like Narancia would have done.) where it’s incredibly obvious that he has someone, sure, but Panna sleeps here! That’s such neglect, if you’re going to have a darling, sleep with them! Looks like Bruno will have to have a talk with him- or take over. 

Poor Tomoko’s heart nearly popped out of her chest when she found you. She almost hit you, too, but for now she’s just clutching her chest like her life depends on it. WHY IS THERE A WHOLE ASS PERSON IN MY SON’S ROOM?????? She doesn’t think Josuke’s the type to do that, so her default is “this person most definitely broke in.” 

Lisa Lisa is… disappointed, to say the least. Her son should absolutely be better at kidnapping someone than this. It’s like he listened to absolutely nothing she taught him. Not a single lesson. She gave him a written down list of things to do should he ever need to leave the country, and here he is! With an entire unwilling person!  Diavolo is as proud as he is ashamed of Trish for kidnapping someone. Her mere existence is a pain for him- and now she’s committing crimes, badly? At least be subtle about it. Don’t drag a body twice your size down the street or get the bodyguards assigned to you involved. Jesus Christ. At least she knew not to do it in broad daylight, and to buy essentials in cash… She takes after her father, just not in the good ways.

[halfdent]

@thrspidcr 𝙿𝙻𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙴𝙳 :" I can't wait [you] to get outta here. This hospital scares the crap out of me. " ( He's 10/10 brought some coins, probably quarters and 50 cent pieces. If they aren't dumped out on the table already they shortly will be.

 ❝   That's  something  we  can  all  agree  on  .  -  Though  maybe  this  is  for  the  better  ;  us  being  locked  away  .  I  know  this  place  has  done  more  bad  to  us  than  good  .  At  least  in  here  ...  we  can't  harm  this  city  .  ❞  The  bag  of  coins  doesn't  go  unnoticed  .  Their  eyes  rest  on  it  in  disgruntled  scepticism  .

 ❝    The  city  is  already  in  agony  ,  that's  why  someone's  gotta  go  out  there  &&  𝐂𝐔𝐓  𝐎𝐔𝐓  its  𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑𝐒   .  ❞  

Hand  reaches  for  the  bag  ,  opening  it  ,  money's  money  ,  though  this  was  mere  rations  ,  not  worth  taking  .   ❝  Ain't  this  s'pose  to  go  t'fundin'  you  growin'  some  brains  in  that  head  of  yers  ?   ❞   He  retorts  .   ❝   Gettin'  a  job  instead  of  buggin'  us  on  the  rooftops  ?   ❞    He  was  careful  with  the  last  bit  ,  his  voice  a  low  growl  by  default  though  somehow  it  could  soften  beyond  what  the  receiver  is  accustomed  to  .  Out  of  courtesy  or  perhaps  he  just  doesn't  want  anyone  else  here  to  know  what  he  does  .  Too  rich  of  information  to  fritter  away  so  carelessly  .   ❝    Sure  it's  good  t'keep  a  spare  we  always  do  but  there's  somethin'  special  'bout  this  coin  .  ❞   He  reveals  the  silver  talisman  from  their  pocket  .   ❝    the  old  man  had  a  trunk  full  of  'em  .  He  rigged  every  game  he  ever  played  ,  even  the  ones  he  played  with  us  .  But  this  kind  of  coin  is  𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋  .  ❞ 

 ❝    He  doesn't  need  to  hear  this  .  ❞   Host  interrupts  .  ❝    Peter  ,  you  should  be  out  with  friends  or  seeing  a  girl  ;  not  paying  visits  to  a  known  criminal  .  A  sad  old  bastard  with  no  chance  of  redemption .  Not  like  the  one  you  have  .  Use  your  freedom  wisely  ,  don't  waste  it  .  ❞    He  cannot  help  but  wonder  what  affiliation  the  boy  had  left  on  the  visiting  form  .  Mentor  ?  Worse  ?  Uncle  or  Godfather  .  Nevertheless  ...

[rabbithaver]

Help what do I do part of my brain kinda wants to ship mephilver but also wtf no?!??? I'm an espilver shipper aswell hellp,I think it's my brain defaulting to ship because there's no actual content on mephiles and silver help me

oh boy okay so like. mephilver as a ship kind of wigs me out real bad unfortunately. i have it blacklisted so i dont see it. it's one of those ships that i personally cannot stomach, i don't see it being healthy in any capacity and while that's definitely not a requirement for me in ships in general (hello i ship surge and scourge because it'd be nuclear wasteland levels of toxic and i think that'd be interesting as hell), for ships including Silver, it is very much a requirement for me. because i love Silver as my son and have intense instincts to protect him, i need his relationships to be positive and healthy or else i'll die and also explode LMAO

however THIS IS JUST HOW I FEEL!!! this is just me!!! i have absolutely no beef with folks who do ship mephilver and i don't think there is anything morally wrong with hypotheticals and exploring relationships in fiction. i know a couple people semi-personally who ship it as a toxic dynamic and i don't get it, but i just ignore it. i do not care what other people do with their lives and i think spending time being upset about how other people play with their touys is just an exhausting way to live.

at the end of the day, i think you should do whatever you want forever! i am not the boss of you! my feelings on the ship should not affect what you choose to do! ship whatever you like!! just do me a favor and tag your ships, ok? no matter what they are. it's just common courtesy :)

[bacchicly]

Some thoughts on "keeping score".

I know I am in a not so great place when I start to keep score (ironically my gut reaction when I notice myself doing it is to "keep score" of how I am keeping score) which is a whole 'nother rabbit hole.

What I mean by keeping score is...ideally I want to do things because I intrinsically believe in them or enjoy them...not for the gold star, or because I want someone to reciprocate in kind, or because I feel I have to and am somehow owed by the universe for doing them...so when I notice that I am thinking "well I did xyz so I am owed ABC" I get grumpy with myself but usually also grumpy with everyone else / the universe that is not "reciprocating"...which makes me grumpier with myself because my default is to believe that only "selfish bad people" (me...this does not apply when I give advice to others) keep score and do things out of self-interest. It is a game no one can win and I hate playing it.

I also hate playing it in the other direction. I hate feeling like I owe someone and my life long solution has been to over-pay as a way to try to avoid being a "burden". This is a vicious loop. And disrespectful of people around me. It also is the route of most relationships I have destroyed. I felt like I owed too much. More than I could ever repay and so I ran away.

I am at the crux of that again. With almost every relationship I hold dear. I feel so unworthy and so in debt and yet at the same time so deserving and so needy...that my instinct is to flee and hide. Or destroy. I feel like I can never give enough and that I need to take too much. And I know that even thinking that hurts people around me. I need to trust them to speak up for themselves. To set boundaries. To communicate their needs. To trust them with mine. But...it is so scary and big... And the demons are so loud.

Balance

Trust

Happy Medium

Assuming people are doing their best

Affording myself all the same courtesies...acknowledging I am struggling...still...even though it feels like it should be over and done with.

How do you ask for what you need when you don't know? Or don't trust your thoughts and instincts? Especially when you also don't trust the cultural norms and status quo?

You remember you can float in the quicksand.

You hold onto what you determined was true when things felt less desperate.

You rest. You care for yourself. You do no harm. You don't let yourself give in and rush to repay or rush to pile more on the "paid pile". You trust. You try to follow the advice you would give a friend. You forgive yourself and stay safe.

So for me...let's review my pre-decisions about what I believe:

People are doing the best they can always - if their best is not good it's the result of a larger systemic, cultural and/or physical/psychological factors.

Not good, for me, tends to be defined as "causing greater harm than good" - as I see most actions and things as a mixed bag of positive and negative impacts and that mix being influenced situationally. Harm for me tends to be characterised as suffering versus hurt or extinction.

I also believe in informed consent. The power of yes and no within the context of understanding the complexities of potential outcomes. I believe that information gathering is more than an intellectual exercise. Gut feelings and the body should carry weight. As should respect for the sacred.

Diversity of thought and action is essential; I want more "good" overall and I will stand up for what I believe that to mean but I need to be curious about what others believe and see. Even people I fundamentally disagree with.

Communication is important and takes time, courage and skill.

Hope is a skill.

The Personal Trinity is: Body - Self - Brain (versus feeling - thinking - action)...

Together we are stronger; everyone has worth

I believe in order. I believe in checks and balances. I believe in flexibility.

It is not shameful to ask for help

It is not selfish to set boundaries or have needs

Not everyone must do everything all the time.

The sacred is in the "in between" when in relationship

Caring is not uncool or wrong - but also not always easy

Signals in the maelstrom. Chaos in the order.

Actions I believe in:

Trying again

Taking up space

Resting

Making the world a better place one smutty story at a time

Wearing brown

Swimming

Following through

Changing your mind when evidence supports the change

Listening

Loving

Better not perfect

[cavefilllingcorporation]

Absence Honey

This is a continuation of a previous Employee Experience which happened on the same day.

As Jake and his boss headed towards one of the hangers, they saw dozens of Crates parked in it, along with a crew that was unloading them. His boss then went over to one of them, as he waved over who appeared to be a captain.

“Hey Benny! What took you so long?”

Benny then noticed, stopped what he was doing, and waved back, while answering the question:

“Sorry Ravoli! One of our Packbackers broke down on a mission, and we had to wait for a repair crew to come and repair it. Repairs took a while too. It was busted bad. Not even sure why it was cleared for the mission.”

“Ah well. All’s well that ends well, ey friend?”

“Sure. Hey, who’s your new friend here?”

“Ah, this is Jake Adams. I was going to have him deal with his special mission requirement today, and you just saved him from compost duty!”

“Ah, nice to meet you Jake. So, what do you know about unloading Crates?”

Jake then started to answer: “Well, I haven’t moved anything before, but I can lift boxes of stuff if you’re asking…”

As Jake was saying this though, a thought kept popping into his mind. This was mostly him being confused by noticing his surroundings. There were a few sacks of potatoes sitting by a Crate. There were workers sorting through carrots, saving the good ones and putting bad carrots into a compost chute. He could even hear the jingling of something in glass containers as workers moved boxes behind the trio.

With this, Jake followed his answer with a question of his own:

“That being said, I thought that the Corporation didn’t deal with organic matter.”

“Ah no,” Ravoli replied. “That rule is for our customers, not for us. After all, food items have to go somewhere, right?”

Benny followed this up with a more thorough explanation: “We don’t sell to customers, because when it comes to food, most people trust home grown stuff anyways. I mean, we do manage with meat, but there’s also the problem of perseverance. A lot of the time, magic or absence technology keeps food fresh, but once we get our hands on it, they decay like any other food, and its quicker to get it home for us than onto shelves to hope that customers will buy them in time…” He then glanced behind him, as if he was looking at a Packbacker “… most of the time.”

Suddenly, it started to make sense to Jake. “Oh! That’s why there often periotic times when we make dishes from those crackers or weird apples!”

Benny replied: “Yep! Courtesy of the Storytime dimension. It so weird how those lootboxes are so easily able to preserve food like that…”

Ravoli then interrupted their conversation: “So, what do we have today for my kitchens?”

“Not much in produce, that’s for sure.” Benny answered. “We have a few sacks of potatoes, a few crates of carrots, and some apples. I think the next shipment is going to have a ton of gilded bananas though; not gilded when they get in your hands of course. I wouldn’t know for sure; they’re coming from the Default project. Oh, but we do have a ton of honey!”

“Oh good! I think we were starting to run low on that-” Jake said.

“I wouldn’t count on that. This honey is… different.” Ravoli explained, while Jake sat there confused. “How do I explain it…”

“No need to explain, we can give him a sample right here and now!” Benny interjected.

“Really?”

“Yeah. One of the repairmen though it was a good idea to crack one open for a sweet treat. He was in for a surprise. It’s not the nasty kind though, should be safe for him. I’ll go get it!”

Benny then ran back into the ship, while Jake stood their confused. Before he knew it, Benny was back with a large jar of yellow honey. He also had some small spoons, and handed them to both Jake and Ravoli. Jake, after being prompted, put a spoon into the honey and then took a bite. He was then immediately surprised, and even almost reeled back. It had the texture of honey, and had its flavor but… where was the sweetness? It was utterly dull!

Ravoli, after tasting it himself and seeing Jack’s reaction, merely laughed. “Surprising, doesn’t it?”

Jake was dumbfounded though. “I’ve… I’ve never had something like that. Honey is supposed to… to taste like… its not supposed to taste like this!” It wasn’t just the fact that it was dull. If it wasn’t for a honey flavor, it tasted like paste! It felt so…

“There’s a good reason why your body is reacting in such an extreme manner tasting this for the first time. After all, this material is completely unnatural to a normal universe.” Ravioli explained.

“Then how-” Jake asked.

“Absence technology.” Benny answered. “It tends to leave a large amount of unusual side effects, especially on food. Sometimes, it’s like this, dull honey. Other times, it runny, like water. It even gets bitter on a rare occasion, and I’m not talking normal bitter honey (a real thing that does exist btw), but both bitter and sweet at the same time!”

“Yes, and because of this, we use them in unusual ways. This batch of honey for instance is usually used as an all-natural thicker. It’s also why I restricted you from using the absence pantry until you started getting around to those culinary lessons.” Ravoli clarified.

Now it was starting to make sense. He had similar feelings when he had some sweets made with the thickener, but he chalked it up to weird chemicals. It was also making sense why the culinary lessons he was offered were classroom based. He thought they were just about the basics or something, as if he somehow flunked the tests he thought he passed with flying colors. Little had he known at the time they were about how to cook with absence products, not cooking 101.

“Well, I think Benny can show you the ropes here. I’ll be heading off.” Ravoli said.

“Wait, where are you going?” Jake asked.

“Back to the composter area. Somebody has to do that job, and honestly, I problably should get to doing that. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine, you focus on helping Benny unload, understood?”

Jake wanted to argue, but he learned pretty quickly that if his boss wanted to do something good for Jake, or any other chef for that matter, there was no stopping him. It would be pointless to argue. With that, Jake said his goodbyes as Ravoli went back to the composter, leaving Jake to unload the absence honey.

[cherryblossomshadow]

Constructive criticism is good, but it's not a right to give it, and it's not a need to receive it. Unasked-for criticism should be kept private. (comment courtesy of @topsydead)

.

Not to mention, with commercially-published fiction, what generally happens is that reviews are put in newspapers and magazines and blogs and things, which the author can then choose to read or not. Commenting on a fic is the equivalent of coming into someone's house and putting your reaction into the author's hands. It's a very different thing. (comment courtesy of @beatrice-otter)

.

Never thought about it like this before… As a person who likes getting critique, I had it in my head that a good review is supposed to include some things you liked and some suggestions for improvement. (Like they made us do in language arts in grade school.) But maybe that can come across as entitled? I always kind of assumed there was an understanding that a review/comment is just one reader’s opinion that the author is in no way obligated to acknowledge. Like, I get that super harsh reviews on free fanfiction or trollish behavior like ship-bashing is not cool, but is it rude to say things like “character X is interesting, I wish we got to see more of them” or “the action in this scene was hard for me to follow”? Obviously if the author requests no crit I respect that. It hadn’t occurred to me until now that maybe no crit should be the default. (comment courtesy of @yumecosmos)

From @captainbunnicula​:

I guess my feeling is that when you spend money on a book, part of what you’re buying is the ability to express criticisms of it without coming across as an asshole (assuming, of course, that you are not purposely trying to come across as an asshole). You haven’t paid anything for the fanfiction you read, so you don’t have that ability.

You have opened my eyes. You have caused my world view to shift. I will never be the same again, and I have you to thank.

From now on, there’s a new rule in place. Criticism on fanfiction will now cost you money. Being nice costs you $0, but criticism will now cost you $3.

Time to put your money where your mouth is, assholes.

[zenruption]

Some Common Ways Technology is Misused Today

CC0 Licensed Image Courtesy of Pexels

It's fair to say we are at a very high level of technological innovation today. Smart devices, the web, and even home entertainment are very useful and valuable. Yet technology is misused in a variety of ways. Some of which you might not even be aware of or notice until it is too late. But if you know the common ways this is done, you can begin to take action against some of it.

Social Media Impersonation

There are almost 5 billion social media users in the world right now. And the easy access to platforms like Facebook, alongside very poor security and ID checking, means it is easy for someone to impersonate you or pretend to be someone they are not, known as Catfishing. It's so common in domestic abuse situations that WomenSV and other organizations like it constantly write about the danger and prevalence of this behavior on their blog and other media.

Technology is Misused for Locating People

As a human, you have the right to go where you want, when you want. And you must also respect this as the right of others. Yet because of the controlling nature of some people and the ease by which some tech can be used, there is a common misuse of technology to locate people. For example, an abusive or controlling partner can switch on location services on your phone. However, businesses can also use this data to build profiles for spamming you for sales.

Abusive Emails, Calls, and Texts

We are all so connected these days. And there is no end to the constant barrage of abusive emails, calls, and texts we can receive. And this extends beyond the confines of a relationship. For instance, you can say something that is taken way out of context by a pathetic Twitter army with nothing else going on in their lives, and you will be blasted with DMs. There are documented cases of this becoming so bad that people have taken their own lives in response.

Video Games are Also Involved

For children especially, video games are one of the main ways they can be abused by the misuse of technology. What should be an escape can become a private nightmare online:

Game grieving can be just as bad as someone stalking you or writing bad messages.

In-game message services open you up to all kinds of online abuse. 

Bullies, pedophiles, and scammers are known to use apps like Discord.

Grooming can slowly take place when playing online video games over time.

Some game profiles offer more information by default than you might think.

It can be hard to even notice you are a victim of some online abuse. When playing games, don't interact with strangers, turn off personal data, and try not to use third-party contact apps.

Leaking Private Data

As mentioned, video games can offer up more personal data than you realize. Social media is also a known major culprit for this. So always switch off access to your data and images by people you don't know. Skilled scammers can take a lot from an innocent photo. But something more intimate can ruin your life. It isn't unheard of for hackers to leak (or threaten to leak) private photos of people for money. And your personal data can be sold for a pretty penny.

Technology is Misused to Shame People

Shaming people is also one of the major ways in which technology can be used against you. For instance, it isn't uncommon for terrible acts such as "revenge porn" to be done to the ex-partners of immature and emotionally unstable people. Even in schools, there are thousands of cases of shaming against underage girls by schoolboys who tricked them into sharing an intimate image. And then there are sadistic cases like that of the South Korean Nth Room.

Monitoring and Tracking

We are all monitored to some degree. That's just how the modern web system is designed. It's mostly harmless. For example, online trackers collect data for a more personalized shopping experience. But data can be misused as well. For instance, a tracker can go beyond your shopping habits and record when and where you bank, collect password data, and record your personal, intimate habits online, all of which are nobody's business but your own.

Summary

Technology is misused in a number of ways. Some of it can be very damaging to your personal and social life. And you can even have your life's control taken away from you. Some examples include social media catfishing, abuse when playing video games, and being shamed online.

[felidthing]

i feel like too many people have this black and white stance on the word queer when in reality its a really complex situation because it is a slur. it really is and it doesnt help anything to claim it never was. but its also been a label people have used for a very long time. and its still used against us and its still used as an identity. like... its both. and you just gotta accept that and let people decide their own personal feelings towards the word.

[enhypenandpaper]

rewriting fate (to get the ending we deserve) | yang jungwon

pairing: Yang Jungwon x gn!reader

genre: soulmate!au, angst (with a happy ending), some fluff

warnings: blood, self-inflicted wounds (in an unconventional sense), mentions of scars, self-doubt

word count: 2.3k

summary: in a world where the universe designates two people as soulmates with matching tattoos, you were raised to trust and respect the universe’s will to no end. however, when the boy you love turns out not to be the other half of your fated pair, you begin to question how much the universe can really be trusted. are you and Jungwon actually making a mistake? Or has the universe?

-

You were laying on your back next to your boyfriend, the blanket he always kept in his car for moments like this protecting your clothes from the wet grass. With the stars shining above you and the boy you loved beside you, you felt like you could conquer the world.

You turned your head so you could look at Jungwon; his big, sparkling eyes, his soft hair resting on his forehead. Your eyes travel down his long neck and pause at the collarbones peeking out from his t-shirt. You watch as his chest rises and falls, it takes a moment for you to realize that yours is moving at the same pace. Your breathing was linked.

Jungwon, having felt your stare, moved his head to confront you. He raised his eyebrows and started to smirk, obviously about to make a joke about how whipped you were for him until you interrupted.

“You’re so beautiful,” you tell him.

Now it’s your turn to smirk, watching Jungwon try and fail to hide the way your words affected him, pressing his lips together to hide his smile and turning to face the night sky again so you can’t see how pink his cheeks are.

Your boyfriend unlaces your hands and, before you can whine, configures the two of you so that you can rest on his chest with his now free arm around you.

You snuggle closer into him, feeling his heartbeat pulse through your body.

“My parents had a talk with me,” you blurt out, unable to keep it a secret like you originally planned.

“…About?” Jungwon asks tentatively. 

“They think we’re too old to be dating someone who isn’t our soulmate.”

God, you hated that word. 

In this world, everyone was born with a mark, sort of like a tattoo, somewhere on their body. The placement changed with each generation and growing up, you and your peers walked around with dark blue drawings right above your hearts, courtesy of the universe. There were only two of each mark per generation, a matching pair indicating that those two people were soulmates.

Soulmate, perfect match, life-long confidante, a person who complemented you in every way and was worth any sacrifice, a person fated for you and you, them. 

If you didn’t think it was total bullshit, you would’ve found it romantic.

You weren’t usually one to question the universe or think up complicated conspiracies to refute how the world worked, but this was something you wouldn’t budge on.

Because how could the universe always be right when you and Jungwon didn’t have the same mark?

Yang Jungwon, the boy with the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen and a smile to match. The person who could make you laugh at the most inappropriate of times, smile at the darkest, relax at the most stressful. The boy whose side you would never leave, the boy you would let the world burn for, the boy for whom you would do anything because anything that brought him happiness brought it to you by default. 

Your best friend-turned-boyfriend, Jungwon has been by your side through it all. But now that you two were becoming adults, you were expected to leave your little “crushes” behind and start looking for your respective soulmates. People in your world still dated, even if they knew their significant other wasn’t their soulmate, but it was mostly seen as a way to gain experience for later. It was a given that if the person you were dating found their soulmate (or wanted to start looking), you would let them go with no questions asked.

That was sort of the plan when you and Jungwon started liking each other back in your last year of middle school, giggling and looking away whenever you held hands or made eye contact for long enough, but the young relationship that everyone cooed at easily developed into a strong bond between you and the boy lying next to you, an unbreakable bond that nobody could seem to understand.

So, to everyone else, you and Jungwon were just wasting time.

“Do you agree with them?”

“What?”

“Do you agree with what they said?” Jungwon repeated quietly. “Do you think we’re wasting time?”

“No,” you answered immediately, feeling your boyfriend exhale. “Do you?”

“Y/N, if I ever thought that this wasn’t worth it, I would’ve ended it right away. I would never hold you back like that.”

He always thought in terms of you, not him.

“But what if I’m holding you back? I want you to be happy, the happiest you can be, and if that means you have to be with someone else-”

“It doesn’t,” he assured you. 

Your hand that was resting on his stomach fiddled with the fabric of his shirt.

“I told them that I had already found my soulmate, that I haven’t needed to look for anything since you moved in down the street.” You smile, thinking of how chubby Jungwon’s cheeks were when you first met as children.

He huffed out a laugh, raising his head to kiss the top of yours.

“You make me feel unstoppable,” Jungwon told you, “like the two of us could take on the universe when we’re together.”

“We kind of already are,” you joke, referring to how you’ve been ignoring the universe’s will for years now, “even the universe has failed at keeping us apart.”

You hesitated, unable to force something to the back of your mind.

“What about them, Jungwon? Are we horrible people for leaving them alone?”

He knew who you were talking about.

“I hope that they both have someone in their life who chooses them,” he told you, “instead of letting some glorified drawings control their happiness. I mean, if they really are supposed to be exactly what we need, maybe they aren’t looking for us either. Maybe they’ve found what we have.”

You sat up suddenly, Jungwon’s arm falling off your shoulders and flopping down beside his own body.

“What happens when you’re running errands one day or you’re out with your family and you see someone with the same mark as you?” You ask softly, staring ahead at the ground as your fingers tangled themselves in the grass, tugging and breaking the weak strands. “What if you meet them one day? What if someone’s shirt slips and it’s like you’re standing in front of a mirror or someone taps you on the shoulder because they could’ve sworn that-”

“Y/N,” Jungwon stops you, pleading. 

You hear him sit up to join you.

You looked at him and physically felt all the anxiety leave your body in waves once your eyes met his. His sparkling eyes held so much love that it would be painful for anyone who didn’t share his feelings to look directly at them. 

“There is nothing that anyone could say or do to ever make me rethink my decision, make me rethink you. We’ve never needed something to tell us how to feel, this relationship is entirely our own. Nothing can take away what we feel for each other… what we’ve built together.”

That was when you smiled, overwhelmed by the sweetness and the realness of the boy sitting next to you. 

He was right, of course, your love wasn’t sketched out in the blueprint of the universe. It was grown and cultivated by two pairs of gentle hands, like a flower blooming in the box outside someone’s window or a blazing fire heating a home.

You had never needed the universe’s help to find true love.

Your boyfriend reached toward you, cradling your tear-stained cheeks with his hands. 

“Do you feel that, Y/N? Do you feel like you’re on top of the world? Because that’s how I feel whenever I’m with you. You give me strength, strength that has defied the universe. How could a stranger pull my attention away from all of this? From you.”

“If they see them, how do we explain to them that there was some mistake?” You whispered.

You and Jungwon may be set on ignoring the curses inked on your chests, but the ones who shared your marks may not be.

 One would think Jungwon was going to kiss you with the way he was staring at you, but his gaze was much too serious for that. It looked like he was searching for something, searching for a solution, an answer to your question.

But, instead of kissing you, he moved away and toward the picnic basket you had packed and brought for your little stargazing date.

He dug around for a few seconds before finding what he was looking for. The moonlight flashed across the silver knife as Jungwon moved back to where you were sitting with it in his hand. 

“Jungwon…?”

He pushed his shirt off one of his shoulders. Your eyes grazed over his bare upper chest and sharp collarbones before settling on the blue ink resting above his heart. 

The skin around his soulmate mark was a little lighter than the rest of his body, because of how often he covered it, which made it stand out even more. 

It was the thing you hated most, permanently attached to the thing you loved most, so you couldn’t stop staring.

The glint of the knife tore you from your daze. Jungwon had raised it to his chest.

“Jungwon, what are you doing?”

He paused. “Choosing my own path.”

You placed your hand on top of his that was clutched around the hilt of the knife. You weren’t really sure what he was trying to do, you had never been so in the dark when it came to him before, but you knew that you didn’t like the idea of something dangerous being so close to your boyfriend.

“We should be free to be with whoever we want, Y/N, and for me, that’s you. Mark or not,” he told you.

You stared into each other’s eyes, a silent conversation passing between your gazes. You let go of his hand and watched, torn, as he brought the edge of the knife up to his chest and began to slice a clean line through his soulmate mark. He hesitated before drawing another line in the opposite direction, ending up with an “x” over this tattoo. 

The blood dripping from the cut exposed how deep it really was. It would definitely leave a scar, as you knew was his goal.

You grabbed napkins from the picnic basket, carefully wiping the blood away from Jungwon’s skin before it all traveled far enough to stain his clothes. He sat there quietly, watching you, trying to gauge your reaction to what he had done.

You dabbed at his skin gently. With the blood gone you could really see what the knife had done. A red “x”—the blood was already coming back—had marred the small stain of the universe. He had made sure that nobody, not even his soulmate, would be able to see it, let alone recognize it as a copy of their own.

All those years of being told that the universe’s will was absolute and that a splotch of blue ink was the highest law that could be adhered to had been rendered invalid with two swipes of a knife. Jungwon had freed himself from the heavy, groundless expectations set by an invisible force and upheld by your friends, family, society. 

The one thing that kept Jungwon from being completely yours (at least, in the eyes of everyone else), was now gone.

The knife lay discarded next to the two of you, blottings of Jungwon’s blood staining the blade and the picnic blanket beneath it.

“Y/N, if you’ll still have me-”

You picked up the knife, already brushing your shirt to the side with your other hand.

“Wait, I never expected you to-” he tried to stop you.

“I want to.”

His hands reached out toward you but stopped halfway, watching, confused, as your fingers traced the mark that, while completely different from his, was in the same exact spot on your chest.

You could feel your heart beating beneath your soulmate mark. It was pumping hard, as if to force the mark off your body from the inside. You thought of how much time you had spent hating the tattoo, wishing you would wake up one day and it would be gone or would have somehow morphed into something that resembled Jungwon’s. 

You recalled the night when you realized that you loved Jungwon, no matter how much your own skin was telling you you didn’t, and you had tried to scratch the ink off. Of course, it was much too deep to take off like that, and the resulting redness just made it stand out even more like Jungwon’s had, results of the contempt for your marks.

You mirrored your boyfriend’s movements from before, crossing out your tattoo with the knife and ignoring the bleeding. Jungwon went to clean up the wound with napkins, like you had done for him, but you stalled him, wanting every last remnant of ink to bleed out of your body.

Once the bleeding had slowed down, Jungwon placed a hand over your heart that beat solely for him. His thumb rubbed the tender skin gently, marveling at the new look of it while still being careful around the fresh cuts.

“Look, Wonnie.” you point a finger at his hand on your chest and another at his own. “We match.”

The two of you had overridden the universe and created your own matching pair. A soulmate pair. 

Jungwon smiled warmly, a giggle escaping past his lips as you shared this moment of disbelief and freedom and love.

He cradled your face in his hands once again, pressing his lips to yours and making you question how something so obviously perfect could ever be a mistake.

-

A/N: i hope that this isn’t… too much, the idea of two people making this choice for themselves, in this way, knowing that they were defying a fundamental law… i thought it was so romantic! drama is a little necessary when it comes to love, you know?

mwah <3

[calicohyde]

Sleepy (OP) already responded to this in a more topic-focused way, which I saw and applaud them on being a skilled communicator in it. Her priority with this post is to dementia risk education, and in general to elder care/health, and she stuck to that without getting diverted. However, my priority in general is to communication in general, and specifically literacy.

This is relevant because Sleepy (OP) did not say what not-freyja is upset about them saying.

1. What did Sleepy actually say?

"[The] biggest [cause] is mid life developing hearing loss, altho it's suspected this is related to the social isolation more than anything directly hoh related cause people who successfully get cochlear implants don't have the same correlation with increase in dementia incidence."

This is a compound sentence - within a parenthetical within another compound sentence, so yes it is a little difficult to read! A compound sentence is a sentence that is not a run-on but can be rearranged or split into multiple sentences without losing its original meaning.

This sentence could be split into three, and two of them can retain their meaning even if put in the opposite order. These three sentences are: "The biggest cause is mid life developing hearing loss. It's suspected this is related to the social isolation more than anything directly HoH related. People who get cochlear implants don't have the same correlation with increase in dementia incidence."

OR it could be rearranged to say: "People who get cochlear implants don't have the same correlation with increase in dementia incidence, so it's suspected this is related to the social isolation more than anything directly HoH related."

I have bolded the part most relevant to the miscommunication. Sleepy said the exact same thing not-freyja said - that increased dementia risk related to hearing loss is likely because of isolation rather than hearing loss itself. They reiterated this in clearer language in their response to not-freyja's addition.

2. Why did Sleepy only mention cochlear implants and not sign language?

In this post, Sleepy is attempting to educate/inform, and to give advice based on that information. Because of that motive for her post, she should avoid giving her own personal conclusions and opinions as much as she can. If the study they're referencing did not include sign language, and she has no other evidence to provide that does, she cannot present that extrapolation as reliable information. No matter how seemingly obvious the conclusion may be, if they don't have the evidence to back it up, it would be both irresponsible and dishonest to educate or give advice based on it.

This is why we have scientific studies to "prove" things we've "always known" or that we take as forgone conclusions. We need evidence in order to make informed ethical decisions.

3. Good Faith

Now it's time for my advice.

It can be tempting to be defensive against everything. It can make you feel safe, or cool, or smart, or just give you a dopamine hit or whatever it does for you. But it will frequently result in inaccurate readings such as this.

You should interact with communications in good faith not just to be kind or courteous (although of course kindness and courtesy are great things to strive for). You should interact with communications in good faith for the sake of your own ability to understand what is being said. (Provided you don't have evidence to suggest that the person or entity communicating is untrustworthy in some way.)

If you are not on the defensive by default, that opens up a wealth of contexts you can apply to what you read. You can absorb more of the information and potentially reach more of your own conclusions based on it. You can more easily recognize when you don't understand something, or when you are having an emotional response. It can make you more comfortable asking for clarification, or even to ask for additional information not already provided.

In this case, it could have been helpful to not-freyja to ask Sleepy what they meant when they referenced cochlear implants. Or not-freyja could have asked if sign language had also been studied in addition to cochlear implants. not-freyja could have asked Sleepy to express their opinion about the hearing loss correlation beyond what was said in the study. Instead, not-freyja got upset with Sleepy and reacted in a way that, had Sleepy not been able to respond to a scolding from a stranger based on a misinterpretation of her words without defensiveness herself (which is a very specific skill), would have effectively put an end to this communication.

Disclaimer: I am not trying to be snarky or insulting with this in any way, but rather only trying to inform just like Sleepy was in the original post.

This is like the wickedest thing I've ever made actually

[clatterbane]

Tonight's delight: my first Curryout Night in likely going on a year now! Because I got a craving.

Went with Art Of Spices delivery through Wolt, because they had good reviews and it looked like the location was a straight shot away to haul the stuff here.

Also picked them in particular since side dish vegetables don't really look to be common on menus here; it's full main dish size portions or nothing. I like to get more variety, and would have just picked two or three veggie dishes plus either a saucy meat main dish or, like, chicken tikka appetizer to round things out. But, Art of Spices was one of the places offering mixed thali options.

Great! Only they don't let you pick the specific dishes you want. I guess that also cuts down on the ordering indecision, when pretty much everything sounds tempting!

So, I decided to go with the Premium Thali. Sure, just fuck me up! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(Courtesy of Google Translate again.)

Which just defaulted to saying chicken plus two vegetables, etc. through Wolt--so I didn't know to specify further in the order comments.

What I ended up getting:

The main container, which I was obviously already scooping some out of. Basmati with cumin, what looks to be some very thick tarka dal, and what turned out to be saag aloo with the potato chunks stealthily hiding under the surface of the spinach when I opened it up. 😅

Plus..."Peneer Tofr 😑"? (ETA: Way better than I could produce in any Indic script, of course! Or maybe even handwritten Latin, depending on the day.)

Aha. Looks like maybe some Butter Paneer made with tofu instead? 🤔 They are listing Paneer Butter Masala on the menu.

I also didn't get any raita on the side--and, they were saying to specify if you wanted any of the vegetarian dishes made as vegan. It is SO much easier to find food here to suit basically any kind of special dietary requirements, as I've mentioned before.

So, I am guessing that what happened here was maybe some confusion with ordering through Wolt, so without further info they decided to play it safe and default to vegan. (Though, they do even offer Oatly yogurt as an option in the lassis, so you'd think they might also use that for vegan raitas. 🤔)

But sure, just fuck me up! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It all looks and smells good.

My first round, dished up. I was expecting to get at least two meals out of it, from the description. Given my capacity lately, though? Looks more like three with rice left over, unless I go totally vegan ham later.

The Masala Pappadoms, which I figured might just be flavored with some spices. But nope, they went with a chaat approach.

Most of the masala powder, crispy sev, cilantro, etc. like you'd use on Bhel Puri or other chaat dishes have mostly just fallen to the bottom here. Which should at least help keep the pappadoms from sogging out under the fresh herby bits as much, before I can munch them all down! Can scoop back up as needed.

Finally, the big cup of mango lassi, which turned out to be practically a spoonable fruity yogurt dessert. 😁 And is incidentally sitting right next to the insulin pen case, which is too appropriate!

Most of that is stashed in the fridge for later, though I did go ahead and drink like 25% of it thinned down with a little milk. Absolutely delicious, if no doubt a huge carb bomb even with the dairy yogurt rather than oat! (Haven't had Oatly's yet, but this tasted more like dairy.)

And now, for a cup of my own house special half-assed pseudo-masala chai, to help everything settle!

Very satisfying meal, as I had hoped. With some actual vegetables that I didn't have to cook, and everything. May need to order from them again, when I get the urge for more vaguely North Indian restaurant curry.

[bishopinblue]

A good phrase I've been keeping in mind now a days goes as such.

"I won't treat you badly, I'll treat you accordingly."

No one has a right to demonize you when you do whats best for you. You can treat someone with the kindness you would like in return as most should, but they may not in turn. Sometimes dropping that and biting back is best and shows them that what you presented to them isn't a default privilege, but a courtesy that can be lost. That is how respect works. If you lose someone's respect, then you shouldn't be surprised when you are treated accordingly.

[msommers]

motion, day, formal for maeve, jorina and riya!

NOT ME FORGETTING THIS IN MY DRAFTS FOR 2 DAYS UH OH // oc asks: character design edition

motion: How does your OC move? How does their clothing help or hinder their range of motion? Are they flexible, coordinated, clumsy?

MAEVE — it's the bard, she's graceful as hell and you know from watching her move just how gentle she is. with years of being a companion to witchers under her belt, she's also earned a certain carefulness to her movement that come from being aware of her surroundings and wanting to place herself in spots of safety. her entire wardrobe is crafted for comfort, even the few sets of leather armor that she has were made to aid in swift movements (likely with the help of her monster hunting pals, they have the knowledge for the creation and the desire to keep her mobile for safety). insert joke here about certain people being Super Aware of just how flexible she is. very well coordinated and poised due to lessons carden paid for when they first married because he had a rep to uphold, couldn't have a lady sommers that didn't fit in with the other noble ladies oh no no.

JORINA — moves like she wants to get away from everybody as quickly as possible <3 goof aside her movements are quiet and more than likely ridiculously over-calculated, her time in denerim (avoiding those who despised elves, trying to survive The Everything that was just before and during the blight, working those years following it to provide for the family) resulted in a mindset of needing to move swiftly, quietly and preferably undetected. probably had to spend a day or two readjusting her flexibility and coordination when she joined the inquisition because she was given a new set of armor, but once she got used to the feel of Actual Good Quality Armor then she was good to go.

RIYA — struts her way into most rooms because she’s a drama queen. was given countless lessons at the insistence of her mother in how to properly walk and hold herself with confidence, to give off the undeniable impression that she’s of nobility and deserving of immediate courtesy and respect. the only bit of her wardrobe that could hinder her ease of movement would be a set of decorative armor she was gifted for the celebrations around the grand tourney, other than that her clothing is made for comfort and armor crafted specifically to allow her the freedom to be flexible and quick without resistance. (tho like. probably a handful of her dresses make it difficult to sprint, but who cares.)

day: What does your OC wear on a normal day? Why do they default to those clothes? Do they wear similar things, or do they change it up?

MAEVE — cute stuff 🥰 the norm is a very pretty, very expensive dress with plenty of detailing that she plans accessories and hair styling around. sometimes she’ll opt for a skirt fit instead, or if she’s feeling active pull on some pants and a nice coat. usually all depends on what kind of day it is, where she's currently staying, how she’s feeling, etc etc. tbh a big factor of defaulting to them is that she paid a lot for them, and there'll always be that part of her from growing up that believes when she spends money on something that she has to frequently use it or else it was a waste that she should feel terrible about it. other than that…bro it's just all pretty, dunno what to tell ya. she wants to look hot!!

JORINA — her inquisition uniform lmao. with or without her armor, depending if she's heading out scouting or working in skyhold. defaults to them because it's her job but also because she doesn't really own much else outside of a few back-up articles if something in the uniform gets damaged beyond repair somehow. she has a bit of struggle with spending her earnings on herself so it's fairly rare to see her change things up. probably heard a few jokes around the winter palace about folk being surprised she didn't show up in her scouting gear

RIYA — answered here!

formal: What's your OC's formal look? Do they like dressing up? Do they have different looks for different occasions?

MAEVE — the thing is that she has so many formal looks i'd be scared to even try counting them all. part of her whole quest to change people's views on witchers and non-humans includes attending lots of social gatherings and big events so that she can talk ears off, and with that comes the need for a bunch of formal clothing. (okay..maybe…it's just a desire and she doesn't Need that many but who cares, it's her money to throw around.) she loves loves loves getting dressed and dolled up, it's very fun for her and something she likes to take time with. she does have different looks for numerous occasions, partly because she likes purchasing clothes wherever she visits and partly because helped some folk who work in dressmaking/tailoring, so naturally she wants to continue supporting them.

JORINA — i cannot for the life of me see why she'd ever attend a formal event (outside of the winter palace, but she was in assigned uniform), but for the hell of it i think she'd have a set of those fuckn. i don't know the name, but the victorian split skirts that are just pants with the illusion of a skirt. it's something that can be matched with a lot of different tops and coats, plus allows her the usual freedom of movement that she's used to and often needs. at some point might have one or two dresses that could arguably function for a formal look but outside of that, don't think she'd have many options.

RIYA — she has numerous formal looks because Rich lmao. instead of describing it out, i imagine a fit like this would be her favorite of them all. she was likely given a set of formal mage robes by the circle but she had them packed away without so much as a second glance, very clearly not her style and far beyond saving from her family's tailors. she loves loves loves dressing up so much, does it every day to an extent but truly goes all out for formal occasions. probably has a few matching outfits with her father bc she's a daddy's girl, got her love of the spotlight and dramatics from him so it feels fitting they'd go that extra step of arriving onto a scene with the coordinated looks on occasion.