#but the circle doesn't *need* you; go be a warden and live your life'. he managed to fineagle freedom for you somehow and won't let you

[vaguely-concerned]

the fact that irving canonically survives through the end of asunder to be at wynne's funeral is so fucking funny to me. nothing but love and respect for MY unstoppable cockroach morally grey machiavellian mage dad!!! he's survived in his position through multiple attempted rites of annulment and blood mage plots popping up left right and center around him. the chantry keeps trying to stamp him out but his dodge game is simply out of this world, divine. civil wars, political machinations and minefields, chantry atrocities, this wily old motherfucker is dodging and weaving his way through it all, not-quite-no-hits-taken-running-it-but-honestly-close-enough-under-the-circumstances style. if solas does succeed in tearing down the veil I would fully believe that one of the like three people still alive at the end of it all would be a very weary 90 year old first enchanter irving going 'oh this shit again huh'. the maker has cursed him for his hubris and his paperwork is never finished (affectionate, it's fine he canonically loves paperwork)

[mermermaid]

absolutely crazy how i finished dao, and yes, there's so much heartbreak and tragedy, especially near the endgame. but since then!!! i cannot stop thinking about this guy!!!!

when you get to the fade portion of the circle, you meet this man. he doesn't accompany you, but he tells you about the fade, sloth demon, and how he and some other mages tried to fight against the blood mages, but was put into the fade instead. you notice how hopeless and pessimistic he was, and rightfully so, because the sloth demon was using his life to power its realm. so your warden starts going through the fade, getting the different forms, and you can show him your progress. and, maybe it's just me, but every time i check on him, he seems much more hopeful than before. and don't get me started on how the warden themselves feels. it would probably be one of the first times they were fighting all alone without their usual companions and against so many enemies, and to have another lost soul in the fade with you as you journey through it just.. makes it so much more... tender?

niall: "you're... so much braver than i am. i was so sure it was impossible to get anywhere..."

at the end of the quest, after you defeat the sloth demon, you talk to niall again. but this time he says you need to find the litany on his body, and explains that he's dying and can't return to you. andddd what the fuck that shit made me cry actual tears ahaha. you are hearing this dying man's last words and thoughts. he's dying and all he can think about are his regrets and his mistakes of not saving the circle. but, he did! through the warden! by guiding them through the fade and being their only company in this very strange and twisted place.

and there's this one dialogue tree that really pulled on those feelings:

niall: i'm not... a hero. perhaps trying to be one was foolish. warden: ordinary people can do great things when they have to. niall: dark times, greater acts of heroism, eh? you may be right. before i was taken to the circle, my mother said i was meant for greatness, that i would be more than my ancestors could have ever dreamed. i hope i haven't disappointed her. niall really just tears me up inside. he was such a small character in the grand scheme of things. people will speak and remember the warden-- the hero of ferelden and how they stopped the fifth blight. but will they think of niall? that side character in the circle quest? your sole companion in the fade? will they think of the ordinary people who stepped up during those dark times and may not live to see peace?

maybe they won't, maybe they will. but, at least, i hope the warden will.

[kiastirling-fanfic]

Happy Friday, Kia! For Robin x Alistair (or anyone else doesn't need to be a ship) how about "This is not how I wanted you to find out, but I also don't want to take it back." plus "I was damned from the very start" from the Love Confession Prompts and Dear Hunter Prompts

Thanks Lucky!! This prompt is cosigned by @breninarthur

Also if you were expecting fluff lol nope

I somehow turned this into their break-up scene.

Characters: Robin Amell, Alistair Theirin Words: 670 CW: angry yelling break-up :(

@dadrunkwriting

---

“Alistair-“

“Stop!” He bellowed before she could catch him. Robin flinched back, but Alistair turned to face her, the fierce pace of his abrupt departure from the hall finally halted. She’d run after him, hadn’t ever considered doing anything else.

She couldn’t remember if she’d ever seen him so angry, not even when she spent too long talking to Jowan about the possibility of saving Connor with blood magic.

But then she’d only been talking about doing something awful. She hadn’t done it.

“Alistair, please-“

“Please what?” Alistair’s face was twisted and red and- shiny. He was crying. “Loghain was behind nearly every awful thing we’ve endured the months! He recruited your friend to poison the arl. He encouraged that damned abomination who nearly destroyed your circle. He captured us not a fortnight ago. He killed every gray warden in the country because of his paranoid delusions, and you’re making him one of us?”

“There was no other-“

“No option? None? You should’ve let me fight him like we planned so I could kill him!” The last was punctuated by one gauntleted fist striking the stone wall of the castle. His castle, now. She swallowed past a lump in her throat at the thought that it wasn’t just his, but his and Anora’s. “It’s no less than he deserves.”

“You’re right. He deserves the worst, the most ignominious death he can be afforded.” Robin licked her lips and fisted her hands in her robes. They had blood on them now from her duel with Loghain, from the blow he landed before she transformed into a great bear and pinned him to the stone. “But this is it. This is the worst we can afford him.”

Slowly, the color receded from Alistair’s face, and the twisting of his mouth undid itself, but his expression did not soften to her. “This is the worst, you say? He’ll live as a Warden for the rest of his days, and he will die as a Warden. He’ll have the honor of dying a Warden whether it’s in three days or thirteen years. Or were you hoping he would die in the Joining? Is this what you’ve thought of us all this time?”

“You know I don’t mean it that way!”

“Don’t I? Then tell me! What do you mean?”

How could she tell him what Riordan had told her? While Arl Eamon was tutoring Alistair in statecraft, anticipating his ascent to the throne, Riordan had been teaching her the things neither of them had time to learn from Duncan. That only a Grey Warden could kill the Archdemon, and that doing so killed them in turn, and while Riordan would do his best to be the one to strike that final blow he was not the strongest of wardens, weaker than them both he admitted after his months in captivity, and in all likelihood he would not be capable.

That it would almost certainly fall to either Robin or Alistair to kill it, and one of them in the process. And Robin knew without a shadow of a doubt that if Alistair knew, he would do it without hesitation. That he would sacrifice himself to spare her without a moment’s thought.

That they were damned from the very start, and that Robin was going to spend the rest of her life without him.

Unless she could find another Warden to join them for the final battle. Someone strong, and skilled, and who she did not feel any guilt fattening as a lamb for slaughter.

And so while Alistair learned how to be King, Robin and Riordan hatched a scheme to let him live.

It wasn’t as though she hadn’t expected he wouldn’t be happy, but he had followed every decision she made. They were a team. And though this wasn’t how she wanted to find out his limits, she also found she couldn’t take it back. “It’s because I can’t bear to lose you!”

“Then you should have thought this through. Consider me lost.”

[chevvy-yates]

What does your heart look like?

@hydrasshole, @theviridianbunny, @elvenbeard and @morganlefaye79 tagged me doing this quiz. Thank you. <3RULES: Take this uQuiz for your V/OC.

While I was already writing Ry, I continued with the rest because I knew I would get tagged at least 4 times xD, so have all my blorbos in one post. I will color what definitely applies to them and bold the last sentence(s) because it mostly turnd out very accurate what they need to do in order to achieve love, to be happy, content and at peace with their lives:

Ryder

Iced over, out of the sun

Your heart is very lonely, isn’t it? Is your fortress of ice self-made? Are others afraid of you, or are you afraid of them? Are you afraid of hurting them, or of being hurt? Vulnerability and connection can be frightening, but that’s no reason to shy away from their light, to tuck yourself small into corners, to build up frigid walls to keep yourself from feeling. You will heal when you allow yourself to draw closer to the flames and thaw.

Ryder would say people are afraid of him, but in reality he's more afraid of them and what they think of him. He never received any value before he actively changed his life and found his small circle of close friends which he also calls his family. His real family hated him, reduced him to nothing but someone who couldn't do things right. No one liked him for his kind, warm and romantic personality, so he built up that ice cold iron fortress. Everything that clashes against this wall will ricochet into another direction. Only his closest friends are allowed to open a magic door to come in and see (parts of) his true personality. Inside that fortress beats a big heart with passion ready to give all the love he's got to offer. But beware of that black distorted shadow roaming the fortress. Keep distance from, it is not friendly. Ryder can't do anything against it. It's like a parasite you can't get rid off. Trying to fight it could end mortally for anyone. That beast doesn't want Ry to have peace and likes to keep him at a certain level of anger. Such anger that leads him to go berserk and tear everything apart. Ryder is indeed afraid of hurting his loved ones, therefore has to often wall them off as well. That doesn't mean he does not let anyone in. Sometimes you need to leave him be until he feels ready and in control to let you have a look. It will always be dangerous, though as long as this distorted warden is accommodating his fortress somehow guarding Ryder's heart and soul that desperately want to be loved and give all back. So, even if he falls for someone and shows it, he will never be allowed to let himself go and give himself completely into their hands. Therefore he only trusts those who he believes are strong and cautious enough to be aware of his beast any time.

There were a few questions where I couldn't decide if I chose “I am angry. (you are afraid, terribly so)." or "I am a monster. (Did they tell you that? or did you tell yourself?)" bc Ryder is both - so I did it twice to see if the outcome would be different which led to the same above. I've had the same problem with the home question but it still turned out like above. Ryder has a big home, it is empty because there's lots of space but he likes to be there so "Empty. I can't stand to be alone there. I'll be with everyone else." fits only 50%. The other 50% would be: "What home? I can't stop. There are things I need to do." because he indeed has a lot of merc things to do but he appreciates being at home as well, so it didn't fit either. I went with "empty" in the end.

—

Thyjs

A bird struggling to get loose

Your heart can never hold still. It pounds against your chest frantically, always turning your sights to one thing after the next. When was the last time you were certain? The last time your life was stable? Maybe this is how you prefer things. On the move constantly, not tied down to one person or place. You chase one goal after the next. Can you ever really feel complete without a place to land? Shouldn’t you build yourself a nest?

Thyjs never stayed long in the places he lived during his soldier career. It always required him to be on the move. He got his home in Amsterdam, but the longest amount of time he spent there in a row was two months when he got forced to pause after a hard operation. He's constantly been on different missions and in combat zones all over the world, so he was in fact never tied to one place. Not until the Badlands accident, not until he has somehow forced himself to settle down in Night City becoming a merc. He was chasing one goal after another which led to him getting ranked up until 1st lieutenant. It laid more responsibility into his hands: actively plan things, care and look out for his squad mates, boost their morale, make decisions that could be of serious consequences and so on. He never tied himself to anyone in terms of settling down and marrying, because he didn't want them grieving should he die. If there's something Thyjs does not like it is becoming static. He constantly needs to do something, a purpose in his life or it will become a dread to him. As a soldier he had that, as a merc he feels there's a lot more static daily routine he can't cope with at first. He needs to adjust himself, find balance that leaves him content enough to go on with his new path. Luckily for him NC is never that static either, fast living, changing — it will give him enough adrenaline situations once he finds out. So, yes, Thyjs is like a bird — tied to the army he swore to serve his whole life but somehow he got free from these invisible chains, ready to look for a place to build his nest so he can settle to find his place in the world. He wants to have something stable but is just scared it might change him. Meeting Ryder was a good accident, because Ry will always be a challenge and gives him the chance to feel complete without having to worry about falling into some static (family) life. It opens the opportunity for him to eventually open up, let his craving heart give the love and affection that stacked up all those years. I was surprised it turned out to be that fitting for Thyjs. My boys are all water signs, but I do not picture Thy as an (in the) ocean animal but as a stormbird/seabird — a giant petrel to be more specific; those large seabirds live mostly pelagic. He's a bird that's constantly flying around out in the ocean only resting at the shore for a certain amount of time. So, that text pretty nails it for him.

—

Vijay

A cage with iron locks

You are an enigma. You take care to remain that way. You aim to keep people guessing; your motives are uncertain even to yourself. What is it you truly want? You’ll never know if you keep your heart locked away like that. You deserve to be known, truly and fully. Stop being afraid of what you might find if you open your heart up to self-reflection. Stop thinking that no one will love you the moment they understand you. You are more than the facade you put on.

Netlords!!! Vijay is ultra cagey! He's always lending an ear and takes on everyone else's problem, making it his as well (see long-term Ry up there (depression, anger), Arki as well (the fucking entire story), even Hizumi (big Tyger Claw problem)) but never lets himself help. Good luck trying to get through to him. You either have to learn how to decode 100 enigmas in a row without making any mistake just to get through to his data fortress that locks all his problems away you have to hack into as well, or; you gotta be Arki. Ryder knows there's no getting through. Vijay will change the topic if you try and at some point you simply give up and leave him be. If you never witnessed a moment where he's showing he's got a certain problem, you will probably never notice that he even has them! You can only guess, because he won't tell you. Even if he is connected to the net almost 24/7, he feels disconnected, not complete, like he's missing something, but he is not sure if he will ever find it, because he doesn't know what exactly missing puzzle piece to fill that empty space and unknown knowledge. Opening up towards others is his greatest challenge — speaking about his past, about what he's done, what he is really capable of doing if he would make use of it but fears he might end up going cyberpsycho or worse. So yes, he fears himself and thinks no one can understand neither help him, since his problem seems not solvable anyways which is why he keeps everything to himself instead. He's got to learn, to let this mask fall and accept the offered help. Learn to give his loved ones the chance to lend an ear and listen, give advice, find a solution – together. His life would be so much easier that way and probably also help stopping his excessive overthinking a little. With Arki (and a bit later also Jaysen) he finds the one he can open up to and eventually talk about it all. He does not know why out of all it is Arki, but once he shows up there's light brought in to find answers — for both of them and the rest of the team as well. Netlords! Vijay always comes off as the boy with no problems, but he's got them. I did his and Jay's parallel and was quite surprised they end up entirely different and the text brings up exactly what I pictured about V all the time: the cagey boy with all his locked away problems.

—

Jaysen

A compass that doesn’t waver

You are someone who is certain of what you want. Maybe you always have been, or maybe you made a discovery that you haven’t been able to tear your eyes away from. Your heart is set and certain. You fight endlessly for your goals. Above all else, you know who you are and what you are trying to achieve. Just be careful not to tear yourself or others apart in pursuit of your ideals.

Jaysen in fact knows what he wants, is doing and he believes it's the right way to do it. In fact one day he made a discovery he couldn't get away from because he still has unanswered questions that only will solve once he gets to find his brother Vijay and the entire thing starts rolling and making sense. Jaysen knows who he is, he also knows a few bits of his past that V does not know (yet). Jay knows what he's capable of doing and doesn't shy away from doing it. He can be ruthless in that way — the entire opposite of his little brother (who just stopped being like that). Once he's got a trace, he's pursuing it like a mad man, which means he does everything to get to the set goal. He's been searching for his brother for years, never giving up and if someone wants to stop him, to get to V, Jay will use everything he's capable to do, he doesn't care if someone might die along the way (who e.g. could have simply talked out of it). Jay always thinks what he does is right and moral is often the last he cares about. As long as it benefits him, it's a good thing he did. But that bold last sentence is in fact a reminder and warning for him, to remember he should not overdo it because there are consequences to it that do not look good. Even if he says he can't turn cyberpsycho for mysterious reasons he seeks answers as well, people will definitely see him as one.

Jaysen, be careful what you do. You really need your lil' brother to keep you grounded. The text only told me once more he's the chaotic good boy of the team. He does what his conscience tells him to do for the greater good. He does not care about following society’s rules, he cares about doing what’s right and benefits him.

—

Tagging (sorry if you already received and did this - no pressure as always):

@gloryride, @nervouswizardcycle, @imaginarycyberpunk2023, @dreamskug, @jessxmetal, @86maylin, @lokiina, @sammysilverdyne, @caer-oswin, @miss--river

[ungrateful-cyborg-moved]

Happy birthday!

💬 (what is this about DA characters I'm hearing? Can you show/describe them and their personalities?)

In order: Armin, Lancelot and Amaya. Hawke is just Hawke so I didn't put him here.

I'm sorry, this is... long :'D

Armin Surana

He's my mage Warden. Born to a Dalish clan, he developed his powers at an early age. Unfortunately for him, his clan already had a few mages so they gave him to another clan living nearby. Being a young boy who very much didn't understand why his people didn't want him anymore, he decided that he didn't like his new clan and ran away. Eventually he found himself in a village where Greagoir discovered him after he set his own hair on fire out of anger. And Greagoir being a Templar, he brought the kid to the Circle of Magi where the story starts when you chose that origin.

Honestly his life in the Circle was actually pretty good. Past the few first months, he managed to find his place and didn't particularly want to leave after his Harrowing. If not for Jowan, he was mostly set on becoming First Enchanter at some point in his life.

And I think Alistair was very lucky that the only surviving Grey Warden save for himself actually enjoyed leading and already had a strategic mind.

Though mostly Armin is fairly diplomatic, merciful and patient. He does have strong opinions about certain things, but is careful about which ones he publicly expresses and which ones are for his inner circle only.

I do think though that not a lot of people figured him as the kind of people to become Zevran's fuck buddy... and to eventually settle with Morrigan (and their son).

By the time Awakening happened, he was a changed man. More military leader than idealistic Grey Warden, still driven by the will to help others, but as you can imagine, having to sacrifice the citizens of Amaranthine didn't help him sleep at night. Although I think that knowing he'd do it again if the need arose was really what made him look at what he'd become and decide he needed to take a break from that kind of responsibilities.

Hence why he purposefully doesn't return in Inquisition. He didn't trust himself to not be more ruthless than actually needed.

(Please don't pay attention to the tattoos, I didn't know he would've needed to be an adult in a Dalish clan to have them since it's not explained in the Character Creator. Also he was meant to look East Asian but the CC is... well, it exists.)

Lancelot Cousland

My second Warden, a Warrior this time because I wanted to replay all three games as pro-Templar this time. And what better for this than to start with a young and charming noble who mostly succeeded in everything he attempted, except for, you know, saving his entire family.

I'm not yet done with him (currently nearing the Landsmeet) but he's grown more serious, albeit still joking and occasionally teasing people, and also increasingly interested in having a say in how Ferelden is ruled. I'm still not entirely sure how to go to make him marry Anora but that's the plan XD

Overall, he's charming, smart and resourceful man, albeit still a bit entitled as you'd expect from a handsome and rich young noble (though he's not exactly rich at the moment).

He believes in Andraste and the Maker like Armin does, but while Armin wasn't much of a practitioner outside of asking for a Blessing from time to time (never hurts when you need to save the world), Lancelot is more devoted overall and also a lot more wary of magic and mages. He doesn't hate them, however, and always tries to treat people fairly. His upbringing just occasionally gets in the way and blinds him, and he's more likely to seek to maintain the statu quo.

Also Loghain won't survive this play through (he did in my first and Alistair didn't forgive Armin for this, but Armin figured that killing a National Hero wasn't the smartest political choice. Especially not when you're trying to marry your friend to his daughter.)

Lancelot is romancing Leliana, because I want to see what she'll say in Inquisition—and it was the most ic choice for him.

Hawke

I won't go into too much detail about him considering he's a lot more fleshed out in the game than the Warden or Inquisitor. But I chose to play a mage again, and he took the mages' side because really, much as there is a blood mages issue in Kirkwall, the Templars were completely off the rails.

And he's an apostate.

Anders survived my first play through because you don't erase 6 years of friendship this easily, and contrary to Fenris, Anders didn't force him to kill him. They've lost contact since, however. Hawke couldn't forgive him.

He died in my Inquisition playthrough to help Loghain and the Inquisitor get out of the Fade, and it broke my heart. And Varric's.

And Isabela's.

But mostly mine.

I even took a screenshot to whine to one of my friends about it

Amaya Lavellan

A confident young woman, proud of her heritage and the mission of her people to preserve as much of their history as they could, Amaya was never one to entirely reject Humanity but never really trusted them either. Which is, in fact, specifically the reason why she never completely rejected them: she prefers to not blind herself willingly of what humans are doing in the vicinity of her clan.

I purposefully made her less diplomatic than Armin and Hawke, especially in the beginning because she wanted nothing to do with the Inquisition. Once she became the official leader, however, she took her role seriously. But even though she'd been trained to become the next Keeper of her clan, she never felt completely comfortable in her role as the Inquisitor.

Part of that is simply that Amaya wanted nothing to do with anything related to the Maker and the Chantry. Being called the Herald of Andraste kept irking her until the end, though over time she became less vocal about her disliking of the title and more pragmatic about it. She even gave more space to the cult of Andraste in Skyhold, as she figured, with a little bit of Josephine's nudging, that one of the strongest common point between Orlais and Ferelden was a powerful tool to wield to unite both countries against Corypheus.

The other reason why she didn't feel comfortable in her role was simply that the Inquisition grew too big too quickly, and the fallout in Trespasser was honestly not a huge surprise to her (she opted to disband the Inquisition rather than risk corruption again).

But because she has impeccable taste in men, and a purposefully made a female elf to romance Solas, she hm... she couldn't pretend to be surprised that the Inquisition was crumbling onto itself but she was not prepared for him to be the main culprit.

She's still hoping she can make him change his mind.

I also used a mod to be able to romance several people. And she does have impeccable taste in men, so obviously she also romanced Blackwall. And dumped him after learning the truth, though she chose to let him truly become a Grey Warden instead of letting him die or making him lie. Again.

Fortunately, Cullen proved more reliable than her other partners. They eloped in Trespasser.

(She also became a Red Jenny. An excellent way to deal with her anger while still being useful to the people.

It took me a while to figure out while she kept Sera in the Inquisition, considering that Amaya didn't consider her really fit for the job even though she does see Sera as her friend, but eventually it became obvious to me that what made Sera so important was how she never let Amaya lose sight of her priorities. She kept her down-to-earth, and with the power Amaya had at her disposal, someone not afraid to tell her when she started to lost herself in politics was truly precious.)

I'm sorry this is so damn long, but I hope you enjoy learning about them! And thank you so much for the ask, @confusedtia!

[jadewing-realms]

DAO brainworm can't leave me alone at work, so have some Salem/Warden headcanons:

- before he was taken away to the Circle as a child of 9, he lived in the Denerim alienage with his parents Neela and Arisfan. His first sign that he was not a normal child was at age 5, when his hair, previously black, turned silver at the roots and continued to grow that way. He also attracted static electricity to an unusual degree, constantly shocking himself and others.

- his parents tried teaching him to hide his strangeness, but when that didn't work, he was confined to his home. He didn't attend school.

- the event that led to him finally being taken to the Tower was when he had a great argument with his parents and then ran away from home. He was found by a merchant and nearly taken to be sold as a servant, but managed to summon an electric shock that left the man severely burned. He was apprehended by the Chantry that night.

- his parents never knew what happened to him, didn't know if he was alive or dead until he made himself known as the Grey Warden, hero of Ferelden, in Denerim once the Blight was defeated.

- He’s not actually super invested in saving the world, as a concept. Helping people be safe? Sure. Making sure the world doesn't end before he can experience life outside the Tower? Absolutely. Believing in the "greater good" or "being a hero"? Nah. Heroes are an idealized concept people invent in their minds to feel better about the darker side of reality.

- he's a bit of a madman when it comes to battle and bloodshed. The moment a situation is beyond reason and the blades come out, he’s known to grin, all teeth, as if delighted at the turn of events. Most find it disconcerting. Zevran thinks it’s sexy.

- he is constantly asking questions, to the point of incessance. He is deeply curious and analytical by nature, and seeks to grasp how things work, from gadgets to spells to even perspectives he disagrees with.

- it was in the Tower that he learned, through a series of crushes, that he was not only pansexual but also polyamorous. Everyone was just too pretty and interesting to imagine choosing just one. He never had any serious attachments until Zevran and Leliana, though.

- life, to Salem, is to be lived by whims. Not inconsistency, mind you. But life is too long and potential too vast to waste time doubting one's choices at every turn. Live to learn and learn to live.

- having Bodahn and Sandal in camp is not good for his purse. He doesn't make a lot of pointless purchases, but he’s not patient when it comes to getting things he wants or needs. The most frivolous things he buys are knickknacks and baubles for his personal collection (or for his crow friends) or random gifts/pranks for his companions.

- he chose to betray Jowan and inform Irving of the plot not out of loyalty to the Circle but trust of Irving's judgment. He also never thought blood magic was evil, only stupid to try it right under the Templars' noses.

- he is very bad at not burning himself out of mana. He has a flair for the dramatic and tends to prefer spells that hit hardest and cause his enemies to tremble in fear, at the expense of his own stamina. Its part of why he gets into blood magic himself - it's nice to be able to feed off the energy of his opponents rather than his alone.

- people criticize his confidence as if it were arrogance. Perhaps it is. But he doesn’t see the point of being unsure. If he's right, why should he second guess? And if he’s wrong, it's a learning opportunity. Simple as that.

- looting is a lifestyle. Never let anything go to waste. If it can't be used, it can be sold. Or thrown at someone when they're being annoying.

- off the battlefield, Salem is known as highly intelligent, extremely reasonable, and morally flippant. He has no better nature to appeal to, but if your argument is sound, he has no reason to fault you. Won't stop him from killing you if he has to, but it won't be personal.

okay, I'm draining my phone battery quickly at this point, I should stop for now

[houseaeducan]

what do the family dynamics of your hawkes look like and how are they different or similar? (inspired by the ask meme sibling question!!)

Omg thank you for this question. Much to unpack with these guys in all directions. Not sure where to start so I'll go hawke by hawke i guess (this post got so long so I'm putting it beneath the cut lol)

Caleb - GOD OKAY. caleb is my canon hawke so i have the most thoughts about him so this is about to be a mile long. caleb has a massive eldest daughter but a boy complex that primarily dates back to an incident as a child where he blames himself for his father almost being caught by the templars, but also only been reinforced over the years of trying to protect bethany and then stepping up as basically the head of the family after Malcolm died. i know Malcolm is supposed to have the same basic personality as hawke but my Malcolm in all worldstates except camillas (will get into that later) primarily has the blue/green personality and is like. a generally pretty upstanding guy who didn't want this life for his children but also knew there wasn't really any choice if he and his children were going to be free. he didnt want to raise his sweet eldest son to feel like he needed to be Protector of the Family but like. what else was he going to do. if Malcolm died or got captured by templars someone had to be ready for that. and as a result caleb has always kind of hero-worshipped his father and is constantly measuring himself against what he feels like Malcolm would have wanted him to do.

and that extends into caleb's messy relationship with carver, because if Malcolm saw caleb as his replacement, then caleb saw carver as his. and in a lot of ways it makes sense he expected the same from carver that he did from himself: they're both boys, both non-mages, both two-handed warriors, I even hc they both take after the hawke side of the family physically while beth takes after the amell side. but caleb expecting so much out of carver also makes carver resent him, and when carver tries to confide in him about how much he hates having their lives defined by magic, caleb takes it as like a personal betrayal against the family and doesn't want to engage with it. (also the girl carver had a crush on had a crush on caleb which was so unfair and unbearable for poor carver). it's not like he's mean to carver or anything, but he's definitely not understanding in the way he could be and this isn't something that hits until carver dies. which sucks and is something he's going to feel guilty about forever :/

he has the pretty typical hawke relationship with leandra i think. he wants his mom to like him and he knows she loves him but. its hard sometimes. leandra is hard to deal with and when she's disappointed in him it's another reflection of the way he feels like he's failing his father. and then BETHANY he loves bethany and by the end of things she's the only family he has left. after a lifetime of doing everything to protect her seeing her become a grey warden is honestly agonizing bc she's so miserable and there's nothing he can do about it but it gives bethany the space to work through her negative feelings about all she's been through and i ultimately think she comes out better for it

catherine - my og hawke :) i think her dynamic with Malcolm and leandra wasn't unlike calebs but just wayyyyy less intense bc catherine is simply less inclined to take things So Fucking Personally. from an early age she learned sometimes you have to stab some guys to protect your family and its fine. that's just how it is. i don't think she and carver were super close but they had a pretty classic older/younger sibling relationship. they loved each other and bickered and cat never took carver's shit too seriously bc he was her dumb kid brother. catherine was also really protective of beth tho and when she went to the circle and then liked it there she took it PERSONALLY. bethany is actually probably her most fucked up and strained relationship in her family and out of all her companions. she loves her sister she would do anything for her but she also feels unbelievably betrayed that bethany is happy in a place she worked so hard to protect her from. they work it out eventually but i genuinely don't think they're on speaking terms for like another 5-10 years post da2

cassian - cassian hawke love of my life is a huge sweetheart but is frankly pretty self absorbed at the beginning of his story and really just did Not internalize any of the family pressure my other hawkes did. he's a talented mage who took malcolm's instruction seriously and is very nice to his mom and so managed to get through his whole childhood with a very nice relationship with his parents. i think he and bethany had a pretty solid relationship but were never close despite being honestly very similar people in many ways. the carver relationship was TENSE bc carver was wildly jealous of cassian (cassian is nice in a way that makes everyone like him, he's better looking so the girls all had crushes on him, he was always in good shape despite not needing to be as a mage, he got more attention from their father because he was mage, he was even just naturally good at magic and Malcolm was always commenting on it) and cassian just never really got why carver acted the way he did with him. their relationship does actually improve as its put through the test in kirkwall too (and as cassian gains more perspective on the world and has his arc) and they end the game friends

calliope - rebellious streak a mile wide. she never did blood magic while Malcolm was alive but she was always asking questions pushing the boundaries of what she was allowed to do and it worried the shit out of him. she was good though, and their relationship was overall positive, but he was always warning her about the consequences of going too far. i don't think leandra was as attuned to that honestly, and it wasn't something Malcolm ever brought up to her because he didn't want to worry her. calliope was always pushing back against leandra and challenging her when she felt like she was wrong but at their core they both had a lot of love for each other. and cal LOVED bethany. would have and probably did kill for bethany. and bethany loved calliope a lot albeit in a "that's my crazy older sister” kind of way and was terrified when she realized she had started doing blood magic. that caused some fighting between them but honestly cal just never took bethany's objections particularly seriously. the carver relationship is more complicated bc they never got along and calliope was such a bitchy older sister to him. and carver knew EXACTLY what cal was even if he wouldn't say it. frankly cannot rlly blame him for joining the templars. there is still a lot of love there though, and as much as they might fight with each other they wouldn't hesitate to defend the other if they were in danger

camilla - PLAY DADDY LESSONS BY BEYONCE. so malcolm in this worldstate had the red personality just like his daughter and also had the same expectations for camilla that caleb internalized just. more intensely. my read of Malcolm (in all world states) is that despite being an apostate he still has a very conventional circle educated philosophy of magic and (in this worldstate) i think impressed hard on bethany, as well as carver and cam, the importance of highly disciplined magic, the importance of being an exceptional mage who didn't make mistakes lest the results be dire). this translated into cam being pretty brutal when it came to protecting her family but also having a very critical outlook on mages despite coming from a family of apostates. she loved and admired her father for being a strong, disciplined man, and also hated him sometimes too for condemning them to a life on the run. she wanted her mother to love her soooo bad and I'm sure she did but leandra just never responded to her intense, easily angered daughter as well as she did to sweet little bethany. cam got along with both her siblings like. fine. growing up. they fought sometimes, they played sometimes, she wasn't particularly close with either as teens. carver's death is hard on her, but not like leandra's is years later. she finally gets the validation she always wanted from her mother at the moment of her death and its AWFUL. it sends her down a spiral -- leandra was killed by blood mages, who camilla has always hated, and of course she finds orsino's note in quentin's lair. the circle is complicit in blood magic, probably all the mages around her are as well. they all as good as killed her mother. she and bethany almost patch things up in the legacy quest, but when orsino uses blood magic in the final battle, camilla is certain that bethany is a blood mage too and has betrayed their mother, betrayed their father, betrayed her too and lets Meredith kill her. yoinks

[gxldencity]

ooh i'm curious about 🌍 in the Thedosian sense, aaand maybe 📓 if there is any? :)

🌍 - What are this oc’s religious views?

Dolores

Maybe I could also preface this in that in BG3/Forgotten Realms, her religious beliefs are basically everything has a spirit and the spirits of her ancestors live among the trees, the animals, the rivers, etc.

In Thedas, Dolores was raised in Folk Andrastian. She grew up in Seheron (with summers in Treviso) and followed her mom's family's, the Marasigan's beliefs which is a mix of Andrastian, the indigenous beliefs of Seheron (so spirit veneration) and elven (there's a giant vhenadal in Baliwag, the town she grew up in). No one in her family follows it but there are a some people in her town who still follow some tenants of the Qun.

Though it'd say it's 75% Andrastian and 25% the rest of them. It's the only way Josefina Alvaros would be fine with her son marrying an elf—an elf from a wealthy family but an elf nonetheless and also from arguably the most disputed territory in Thedas and disputed by Qunari and Tevinter Imperium. (Though the Marasigan's wealth was more through land ownership until uhh....the son of a merchant prince married one of their own and they got sovereigns.)

As an adult though and after being put through the wringer known as the Circle of Magi and the Breach, Dolores doesn't believe in anything anymore. If the Maker was real and listening, then He would've granted grace to the good mages after the Circles collapsed. If the elven gods were real and listening, then they wouldn't have let the Breach happened (HA) or save Domenico from becoming a dreamer.

The only exception to this is the spirit veneration from the indigenous Seheronese beliefs. In fact, that's the one that makes sense to her since she has been working with a spirit.

Georgie

Again prefacing that in BG3/Forgotten Realms, Georgie is a cleric of Talos then later cleric of Bhaal after Orin got to her.

Andrastian, like devoutedly so. She was the youngest child of a noble family and well her older sisters Beatrice and Philippa were the heir and spare respectively and Georgie was given a few options. Go to Orlais and train to be a Bard or live a cloistered life in the Chantry. Georgie didn't want to stay in Orlais for longer than necessary so she decided to go to the Chantry. It would only be till Beatrice takes over.

As a Chantry initiate, Georgie basically was devoted to her studies. She became a lay sister within a year and would've been on the track to become the youngest Mother in her chapel if not for receiving the taint (TBD for Warden!Rook's backstory lmao)

As a Warden, her Andrastian beliefs haven't wavered, in fact she believes that the Maker made her into a Warden to better serve the people. Her Andrastian beliefs have helped her through some of the pretty rough shit she saw as a Warden and ofc through the nightmares.

August

Again Andrastian but with a Nevarran twist. I don't think any of that has wavered after he became a Mourn Watch except he is more convinced that the Orlesian Chantry's beliefs on burning the dead after they died are wrong and the Nevarran method of preserving their dead is correct

📓- Do you associate any quotes or lyrics with this oc?

Dolores

Her BG3 playlist's description is "I'll be the actress starring in your bad dreams" which yeah fits her but but this one probably fits her better

Im still workshopping her DA playlist. I'll take a few songs from her BG3 playlist but uhh the BG3 playlist is geared towards "suffering eldest daughter escaping the toxic patriachal society that she was raised in by making a pact with an eldritch creature" and she's Not quite that. (Still suffering eldest daughter though)

There is this quote from The Last Tale of the Flower Bride by Roshani Chokshi that fits her in Thedas as well :)

"I was left with everything and nothing. I was free and forever trapped. I was a multitude of blues"

Georgie

Now her DA playlist needs a whole makeover from her BG3 playlist since the latter is like........all related to being a dark urge

But from that "I am not a woman. I'm a god" from Halsey :)

For sure "Soldier, Poet, King" is gonna be on there and maybe "Constellations" but yes! Still workshopping

August

Still workshopping as well! I'm probably not gonna make a playlist for him till we get closer to the game's release. (I mean I won't make one for the others either till then, it's just....they have the advantage of being characters I've made before)

[crossdressingdeath]

#has anyone written Catharsis Fic for this because I would LOVE someone getting mad at him#for going 'you don't want to be here or in charge but I WON'T do it so you don't have a choice (again)'#like he seriously just keeps doing what Duncan did#forcing the Warden into a position they might not want#but if they're brutally pragmatic about it - as I think would be REASONABLE#given they've been taken from their life and their family and given a deferred death sentence and forced to be in charge#because it's the only way that death sentence doesn't become LESS deferred#if they do become the person circumstances might reasonably make of them#then he gets MAD about it (tags via @teaandinanity)

You've made me think of a very interesting point which is that... the Warden doesn't want to be there. I've talked about that before, but the thing I haven't gotten into is that Alistair does want to be there. He loves the Wardens! Or rather he thinks he does, he doesn't actually understand the Wardens well enough to love them rather than the idealized version of them he made up in his head. But no matter how much he thinks he loves the Wardens, Alistair chooses to give leadership of what's left of the Ferelden branch to someone who might openly, vocally despise the Wardens. Fortunately for him the Warden is guaranteed to be decent/pragmatic enough to not sabotage the Wardens at the first opportunity, but they could have! In some world states Alistair forces someone who would happily watch the Wardens burn to lead the whole thing and he is very lucky that they're not the sort to put their personal desires ahead of what's best for the cause.

Honestly Alistair's total refusal to even consider the pragmatic options if he feels at all morally icky about it kind of creates a worst of both worlds situation, because while it's still incredibly selfish of him to refuse to lead and then freak out when the person he forced into the position doesn't do what he wants (you could've kept this from happening super easily by fulfilling your responsibilities, my dude) he proves in one stroke that a) he'd be a shit leader and b) he's a shit Warden. You cannot lead or even work in an organization like the Wardens if you freak out whenever you have to get your hands dirty! And while some of the Warden's choices are just awful (there is no benefit to leaving Redcliffe to be slaughtered, for example) a lot of them are just... things need to be done and done quickly. While we the players know that the plot will very politely hold itself in place while we dick around, the characters don't! It's most obvious with Connor and Isolde: we know that the desire demon will cheerfully sit around the castle not bothering anyone while we make our way to the Circle and back, but the characters don't. Both killing Connor outright and sacrificing Isolde to enter the Fade are very reasonable paths to take given the imminent risk of a demon slaughtering everyone if it's not dealt with (honestly it kind of weakens the quest that there's a perfect ending where everyone lives and there's no drawbacks, the writer in me wishes that that wasn't a thing, but whatever I do like happy endings), but Alistair freaks out about it because it made him feel bad. The other companions dislike decisions the Warden makes, but they don't corral them at camp to yell at them for it! And sure! Alistair feels bad, they were his "family" and he helped kill them! The Warden probably doesn't feel great about it either! But that failure to recognize that sometimes you have to do awful things to prevent greater evils and how that's basically the Wardens' whole ethos makes Alistair an awful Warden, and I'd love the chance to actually point that out to him, that he's so totally failed to grasp what the Wardens are that he's an absolutely terrible Warden. ...God, imagine if there was an option during the argument after sparing Loghain for a Warden who expressed displeasure at Alistair forcing them to lead at every opportunity to turn around and say "I'm glad you forced me to lead, because you're so incapable of understanding the concept of necessity that you would've gotten us all killed". Now that would be a fun argument.

A thing I wish DAO went into more: the way Alistair is in some ways incredibly selfish. Like, the way he refuses to take charge of the group is treated as kind of endearing in the text, but the game doesn't really get into what a massive burden he just... drops on the junior Warden present with no warning or discussion. Think about it: the Warden is heavily implied to be very young (possibly younger than Alistair, definitely around the same age), most of them have no real experience in leadership, several of them have no experience in the world outside their small corner, all of them have only been Wardens for a few days. And Alistair dumps leadership of the group on them and refuses to take any of that weight. Does your Warden like leadership? Are they any good at it? Is it exhausting and difficult for them? Alistair doesn't care! He doesn't want to lead, and that means you have to lead, and whether or not you want to lead has no bearing on that. It's not a discussion, there's no suggestion of sharing the responsibility of leadership as the Wardens of the group; Alistair metaphorically throws the responsibility at you and runs.

But if you go for low approval with Alistair it's basically all about calling him childish and immature, even though I think a much more compelling low approval dynamic is the Warden despising Alistair for putting so much on them with no hesitation, but being stuck with him (because they know as well as he does that they need all hands on deck Warden-wise) and stuck with that burden of leadership (because a Warden kind of has to be in charge of the group and even if one didn't no one else in the group would be very good as a leader in this situation, and Alistair has made it very clear that he won't take it). Even at high approval it would be very compelling to have this sense of resentment at how Alistair just assumed they'd take on the burden of leadership and refuses to take any of it for himself. But that aspect gets completely ignored in the story, you don't really get the chance to raise the matter aside from asking why you're in charge despite him being the senior Warden present a couple of times.

It also adds something really spicy to the fallout of sparing Loghain, though, because... Alistair forced the Warden to take on leadership. He made them be the one to make these hard choices. It's never been a discussion, it's never been the Warden's choice whether or not they take on responsibility for these tough decisions, Alistair always just expects them to do it. And now they've made a call he doesn't like, and he abandons the group on the eve of battle because of his wounded feelings? I'd argue that's as much a betrayal as sparing Loghain if not more so, and certainly more of a betrayal of Duncan's memory; Duncan understood that a good Warden must be driven by necessity, not emotion or even morality, and I feel like in the Warden's place he likely would've made the same call. They need Wardens around to kill the Archdemon, as many as they can get, and even one more could make the difference between victory and defeat. The Warden and Alistair may not know the details, but with the most senior Warden present saying they should make Loghain a Warden instead of killing him a logical assumption would be he has a very good reason for saying so and maybe they should listen to him! I would've loved it if during the argument with Alistair after sparing Loghain you could really get into that "You forced the responsibility of making these decisions on me when I never wanted or asked for it, you don't get to throw a tantrum now that I've made one you don't like" aspect of it, but you... don't. And that's a shame, because it takes a lot of depth away from his dynamic with the Warden.

[savingthrcw]

❝ the higher the man climbs the farther he has to fall. ❞ ( Cullen @ Neria // @sharp-teeth-and-wide-grins )

"True... but apparently, doesn't matter how far down one falls, he can still climb up higher than ever. Doesn't even matter how many times you fall, if you keep getting up." Her eyes meet Cullen's, a corner of her lips pulling up into a knowing smile. "We'd know, wouldn't we?"

There was a strange nostalgic sentiment that filled Neria when she met people who had been close to her ten years ago - the time of the Blight, the time her life had changed more than most. And she felt the same way when she was near Cullen, who had seen her at her lowest - brainwashed Circle witch-doll - and when she had come back as the Warden to 'save' said Circle even if she hated it, and he had been tortured by the monster she had soon after slayed. Yet there he was, military advisor, and didn't seem horrified by mages anymore, if he had stayed that way after that mess.

"I never got to learn how to make good speeches, so just try to read between the line and pretend it's very well-said and flowery," Neria looked down from the balcony, watching the people of Skyhold go on about their days, "And I don't know how to explain this in the first place, but... the Archdemon, blights... fake Callings... All they do is convince me of two things: that no matter how badly things go, there is always hope... if you are not an ass, that is. If you're on the wrong side, well, then good riddance. So I believe it'll be okay for us. The second thing I learned is that if someone is... "climbing up"... they have to do it with friends by their side. That way, you don't even get to fall that far to begin with. And they'll help you get back if you don't stop trying to climb up again. And that's not empty advice, I've lived it. Now you've got your team too, and the Inquisitor is going to need you to believe that. Chances are there will be plenty falls for all of you in the future, but so what? You'll get up."

"... it does help that we are all young and beautiful, so we are going to be forgiven pretty much anything, tho."

[shift-shaping]

Solas/Surana Party Banter round whatever

hello. here it is again, but different this time! SIGNIFICANTLY. there's way more and it's a little bit ~angst-y~. anyway, here's the previous version, and here's a preface to this post.

-

In case you aren't aware of what my girl's Whole Deal is, she was in love with Alistair during the Blight and he sacrificed himself, which Sucked Balls for her. She wandered around in the mountains for most of the past ten years, and now she's in the Inquisition because she doesn't know what else to do with her life.

content warnings: brief mention of colorism

Lots of banter under the cut

Solas: Surana. Now that you have joined the Inquisition, what title do you prefer to use?

Surana: What title do you use?

Solas: None. But you have earned many.

Surana: 'Warden,' I guess. I don't really care.

Solas: Not 'Hero of Ferelden?'

Surana: No. Surana is fine.

.

Solas: You dislike your title?

Surana: It is inaccurate. Alistair was the real hero, and he died fighting the archdemon --I only ever did what I had to do.

Solas: Hm.

.

Solas: You do not think yourself a hero?

Eirwen: *sighs* If a man is ordered to save a child from a burning building or else be killed himself, is he really a hero? No, he is not.

Eirwen: Had I not been made a Warden, I would have been killed or made Tranquil. I did not choose to do the right thing. I was forced to.

.

Surana: Why do you keep asking me so many questions, Solas?

Solas: You are an historical anomaly. An elven mage elevated to the status of legendary hero.

(If the Inquisitor is an elf, a mage, or both:

Eirwen: Well apparently it’s not that anomalous.

Solas: Even still.)

Solas: I have seen echoes of your victories in the Fade alongside reflections of your losses. You have overcome a great deal. Do not be so quick to dismiss your own story.

Surana: Your dreams are lying to you. That legacy is not mine to claim.

Solas: I will not try to convince you otherwise, but know this: whatever bitterness you feel towards your legacy, you will gain far more accepting it than you ever would fighting its tide.

Surana: This isn't really about me, is it?

Solas: It never is.

.

[After All New, Faded for Her]

Eirwen: I’m sorry about Wisdom, Solas.

Solas: I appreciate that. Thank you.

Eirwen: It must have had a wealth of knowledge. It is a shame to lose so much for so little.

Solas: There is a difference between wisdom and knowledge.

Eirwen: Right, yes. I remember a joke about that. Would you like to hear it?

Solas: Not particularly.

Eirwen: *clears her throat* Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing it does not belong in a fruit salad.

Solas: ...

Eirwen: Too soon, I suppose. Sorry.

.

Solas: Thank you, Surana.

Eirwen: I told you, Dorian and I aren’t fond of that particular vintage. And we thought you’d appreciate the earthy tones.

Solas: Thank you for that as well, I think, but that is not what I as referring to.

Eirwen: Oh?

Solas: Your joke. You… it was unexpected. But not bad at all.

Eirwen: Oh. Well, that’s about the least dirty joke I know. Want to hear one a drunken dwarf told me in the Deep Roads?

Solas: Another time, perhaps.

Eirwen: Ah, you wouldn’t like it anyway.

.

Solas: Surana. You said before that a man ordered to save a child from a burning building under threat of death would not be a hero.

Solas: I disagree.

Surana: Oh?

Solas: The man threatened with death may not see himself as particularly noble, but the child will always see him as their savior. Regardless of his motivations, he will always be a hero to the child he saved.

Surana: So no matter who or what made him do it, he is still a good person because another thinks him such?

Solas: I did not say that. 'Heroic' and 'good' are not necessarily the same.

.

Surana: So what is your point, then? That I should make people call me 'Hero' at Skyhold?

Solas: My point is that you should not feel guilty if they believe you to be someone you are not. You cannot control them, and attempts to the contrary will only serve to make you miserable.

Surana: Why do you care so much? Why does it matter to you how I feel about being called 'the Hero of Ferelden'?

Solas: It --doesn't. You are right, of course. And I meant no offense.

Surana: That's not-- I'm not offended, I'm curious. I want to know why it matters to you, a random wandering apostate, whether I call myself a hero or a bastard or a drunkard or nothing at all.

Solas: It is as I said: elven mages are rarely given the level of respect and admiration that you are. It is a shame you see no benefit in that.

Surana: Benefit? Like what, seeing my ears cut off in statues? My staff turned into a sword? My skin lightened in paintings and my relationships reduced to spectacle or seduction?

Surana: Maybe I am offended. I would love to be an anonymous apostate. I was, for a while, but I couldn't stop trying to live up to a version of me that doesn't exist, never has, and never will. The real hero is dead, and you have me instead.

Solas: You must let that be enough, Surana.

Surana: It isn't.

.

Surana: Solas, you have dreamt in all sorts of places, right?

Solas: Yes.

Surana: Have you ever --well, did you ever see the Battle of Denerim, in your dreams?

Solas: Not as you would remember it.

Surana: Of course not. But... I mean-- did you--

Solas: It is done, Surana. You cannot linger there.

Surana: How do I do that? How do I stop seeing it?

Solas: You do not. But instead of letting it weigh you down, let that pain be what pushes you forward. Focus on where you must be, and what you must do. You are needed here, now, exactly as you are, not as the person you were in Denerim. Whoever others think you are, you must go forward as who you know you are. If you lose sight of that, you are lost.

.

Surana: Solas, thank you.

Solas: For what?

Surana: You know full well what.

Solas: I try to help, when I can. The pain you carry is... familiar.

Surana: Familiar?

Solas: You feel guilt simply for being alive, as though self-flagellation will make you worthy of existence.

Surana: Self-flagellation? *dryly* You have a way with words, you know.

Solas: *just as dryly* You flatter me.

[If neither Solas nor Surana are romanced]

Surana: You deserve the flattery.

Solas: Is that a compliment, from the Hero of Ferelden herself?

Surana: I take it back. You're an ass and I hate you.

Solas: *chuckles*

.

[After Here Lies the Abyss]

Surana: I didn’t know you disliked the Wardens so much, Solas.

Solas: It was not worth mentioning.

Surana: Not until it became acceptable to criticize us, you mean.

Solas: What have the Wardens actually accomplished in terms of understanding the Blight? Do you honestly feel you understand it any better than you did before you became one?

Surana: Is that a serious question? Do I understand it better after witnessing its ravages than I did when I’d merely read about them in a book?

Solas: What did the Wardens teach you? What did you learn from them, about the Blight?

Surana: More than I will ever tell you.

Solas: *bitterly* Ah. Of course.

.

Surana: You have always been an apostate, have you not?

Solas: By your Chantry’s definition, I suppose.

Surana: My chantry? Am I the Divine now, too? *scoffs* Anyway, you have never spent time in a Circle.

Solas: No.

Surana: Then one thing I will tell you about the Wardens is this: there is no other path to freedom for many mages than to join them. You were not dragged from your home in chains because of what you are. You were not barred from dreaming, nor threatened with Tranquility when you failed to perform a difficult spell.

Solas: You should not have had to make that choice, Surana.

Surana: Yet I did, because it was the only one I had. And the Wardens are all the world has to counter the Blight. You can disagree from your tower in Skyhold or your hut in the woods or whatever, but we are working with what is available to us. Come up with a real solution and I will listen. But I’m uninterested in ignorant complaints from someone who was not there.

.

Surana: It’s not my Chantry.

Solas: Poor wording, on my part.

Surana: I don’t even like the Chantry.

Solas: Abelas. I meant no offense.

Surana: Yes, you did. Or you just don't care.

Solas: What would you have me say, Warden?

Surana: Nothing. Just be quiet.

.

Solas: Where was home to you, Surana? Before the Circle?

Surana: *sighs* An orphanage in Denerim’s alienage.

Solas: Really? Huh. In that case, I would have expected you to sound more like Sera.

(Sera, if present: What? You think all city elves sound the same?

Solas: You are from the same section of the same city. Why would you not have the same accent?)

Surana: I don’t sound like Sera because I was beaten in the Circle until I spoke 'properly.’ No offense to Sera, of course.

(Sera, if present: More reasons to be glad I’m not like you two.)

.

Solas: I am sorry, Surana. Living in the Circle must have been difficult, and I imagine being a Warden during the Blight was no easier.

Surana: *sighs* It’s alright. You couldn’t have known.

Solas: I should have tried. I have done you a disservice, and I hope you can forgive me.

Surana: Maybe. Possibly. Did you bring any of that wine with you?

Solas: Unfortunately not.

Surana: *playfully* Then, no.

Surana: …But please, call me Eirwen.

Solas: Eirwen. Ma nuvenin.

.

[After Surana hears Cole and Solas banter for the first time]

Surana: Oh! I think I got that one, it's --oh, wait. No, that can't be it.

Cole: You were close, though.

Solas: Nearly had it.

.

[If Eirwen is romanced by an elven Inquisitor]

Solas: *playfully* For all your talk of wanting anonymity, Eirwen, you seem incapable of avoiding spectacle.

Surana: Is this about the drunken bear? I already apologized for that.

Solas: No. You and the Inquisitor. Two of the most powerful elves in Thedas, together?

Surana: Jealous?

Solas: Not for the reason you think.

Inquisitor: How could we resist?

Surana: We are both very pretty.

OR

Inquisitor: One day we will be free of all of this. Together.

Solas: For your sakes, I hope you are right.

.

[If Solas is romanced and Eirwen's personal quest is completed]

Solas: You no longer consider yourself a Grey Warden, Eirwen?

Surana: Did the Inquisitor tell you that?

Solas: Yes. You threw your badge into the Abyss.

Surana: Bit dramatic, I suppose. I was having a moment.

Solas: Evidently.

.

Surana: It almost felt traitorous, honestly.

Solas: Why? You were forced to join the Grey Wardens, were you not?

Surana: They still saved my life.

Solas: And condemned you to an early death. They bought you time, nothing more.

Surana: But time is all any of us have, isn't it?

Solas: No. You have a name, and experience, and the influence to pull the strings behind the world.

Surana: Careful. You'll make the Inquisitor jealous.

Solas: I am not attempting to flatter you. I am only telling you what you must already know: that you are more than a Warden, and always have been.

.

Surana: Where will the two of you go, once this is over?

Inquisitor: (Somewhere quiet) A place where we can be left alone.

OR (Somewhere fun) Someplace with good wine.

OR (Home) North. Where my people are.

Solas: An appealing prospect, vhenan.

Inquisitor: What about you, Eirwen?

Surana, based on the Inquisitor's answer to the previous question: (Somewhere quiet) Somewhere without so many damn demons.

OR (Somewhere fun) I was thinking Rivain. I've heard the food is excellent.

OR (Home) The Deep Roads. Where my people are.

.

[If neither Solas nor Eirwen are romanced]

Solas: Have you ever learned any elven, Eirwen?

Surana: Unfortunately not. A few words here and there, a long time ago. It wasn’t exactly taught in the Circle.

Solas: Would you like to?

Surana: I –oh. I hadn’t –um.

Solas: *chuckles* You do not have to learn.

Surana: No! I would love to. From you, I assume?

Solas: I cannot imagine you were going to learn it from Sera.

Sera, if present: I prefer real words, thanks.

.

Solas: What elven words do you recall, from your alienage?

Surana: Ah… okay. Hahren, that’s like… elder, or leader. The tree in the middle was called the vhenadahl. Lethallan is like friend, or ally, or maybe even sister?

Solas: Do you know what vhenadahl means?

Surana: It must be something about a tree.

Solas: And where is it, in the alienage?

Surana: A central place, somewhere everyone could see it.

Solas: And what is another word for the middle of something that lovers might call each other?

Surana: …Heart?

Solas: So what do you think 'vhena’ means, if 'dahl' is tree?

Surana: Uh... heart?

Solas: Yes. But also 'home.' The vhenadahl was both the home of your people, and the heart of the alienage.

Sera, if present: Just call it what it is --a big stupid tree.

.

Surana, in elven: *haltingly, mumbling* [Her early leaf’s a flower… but] –shoot.

Solas, in elven: [But only so…?]

Surana: M- it starts with an ’m’…

Solas: Take your time.

Surana: Meh- malath?

Solas: *laughs*

Surana: Is that wrong? Shit, that must be wrong.

Solas: Not wrong, per say, but perhaps premature.

Surana: What? What did I say?

Solas: Do not concern yourself with it, lethallan.

Surana: …was it dirty?

Solas: No.

Surana: …then what was it?

Solas: Patience, Eirwen.

.

Surana: I found out what ‘ma lath’ means.

Solas: I would expect nothing less from such a gifted student.

Surana: Mhm. It’s –well. I’m glad I said it, but you were right. It was premature.

Solas: I agree. Though...

Surana: Though?

Solas: *chuckles* I think this is neither the time nor place.

Surana: What is, then?

Solas: When I have you alone, Eirwen.

Surana: *laughs awkwardly* Maker's breath...

.

Sera + Surana

(If Solas has begun "teaching Eirwen elven")

Sera: So… you and Droopy ears.

Surana: Why do you call him that?

Sera: Cause he’s all –I don’t know, sad or wha'ever.

Sera: Anyway. Teaching you 'the ways of the elves,’ is he?

Surana: It’s just not a very good nickname, frankly.

Sera: Well I don’t want to know what you call him.

Surana: Certainly not droopy.

Solas, if present: *snorts*

Sera: *laughs* Ew! Keep it to yourselves, then!

.

Solas: Eirwen, I–

Solas: I am sorry we had to cut our lessons short.

Surana: It’s… I understand. We… no, you were right.

Solas: Please, Eirwen.

Surana: Perhaps, in another life, another time, we could have–

Solas: You are a bright light in a dark world. You will always be important to me, for whatever that is worth.

.

Surana: Can I ask you a question, Solas?

Solas: Of course.

Surana: It's not about me, is it?

Solas: I--

Surana: It's about trying to fight the tide.

Solas: Eirwen...

Solas: I am so, so sorry.

Surana: Telanadas, hahren.

Solas: Ma nuvenin, vhenan.

[gremlinquisitor]

For dwc: Camellia (I'm thinking bellwall but doesn't have to be!)

Camellia: My destiny is in your hands

For @sulevinblade​ and @dadrunkwriting​

~2000 words, Bellial Adaar/Blackwall, good for all ages

Read it here on AO3

Bellial is sitting on her bed, knees drawn up to her chest, in darkness, staring out the open doors and past the balcony at the mountains beyond. There’s been a storm around Skyhold since she came back from Orlais, thunder rolling around the fortress even as she pardoned Blackwall, mixing with the grumbles and gasps of those who had assembled to watch her judge one of their own.

She hears the creak of the stairs when he comes in but doesn’t turn to look. She’s surprised it’s taken him this long to follow her. Bellial cut his chains with a flick of her wrist and left him standing before the throne when she’d turned away from his declaration, marching straight into her chambers and closing the door behind her. He was not the only one standing there with his heart laid bare, and she was not about to let the gawkers watch her crumble. Everything she has within the Inquisition, she has fought for, and she can not allow a single crack to show.

“Bell, you need to stop this.” His voice comes to her through the fog of her anger, as if he’s in other room and not at the top of her stairs. “You’re not finished yet, he’s still out there, and… and you’re scaring people, making it thunder like this.”

Purple-white lightning crackles down to the balcony, striking it without leaving a mark on the stone. “You don’t get to tell me what to do. And the correct form of address is ‘Inquisitor’.”

His coat rustles as he steps closer to the bed, and she has to fight to keep from turning to look at him. Bellial has worked hard on this anger, honing it to a fine point, and she’s not prepared to let it soften and melt yet. She hasn’t finished wielding it.

Thom–Blackwall, whichever he is– clears his throat. “I would never presume to tell you what to do, my lady.”

“No, you wouldn’t, would you.” She curls her toes in on the blanket. It’s cold in the room, but she can barely feel it. “That’s the thing - you didn’t tell me to let you go to Orlais. You just left. You walked away to die and didn’t care what that would do to me.”

He has the decency to lower his head and look ashamed. “I did care,” he mumbles, taking a step closer. “I still care, Bellial. I told you that.”

“You also accused me of planning to have you shot.” And now she does turn to look at him, one foot sliding to the floor, the other still hugged to her chest. “Let me tell you, here and now, Thom Rainier. Blackwall. If anyone in this Inquisition is going to kill you, it’s going to be me.” She snarls as best she can, but her voice betrays her, cracking at the end. He makes a move towards her and she shakes her head, waving him off.

“That’s not what you do to someone you care about,” she continues. “You don’t leave them in the dark, alone, frightened. You take away everything they’ve come to trust, to–”

“This was my burden to bear.” His voices rises even as she fights to keep hers even. “I couldn’t ask that of you, of the Inquisition.”

Bellial surges to her feet, her dressing gown trailing behind her as she moves to stand in front of the open door. She needs the cold air on her skin, needs to feel the lightning spark in the air. “Don’t you know I would’ve fought off the entire Orlesian army to keep you from them? And you delivered yourself right into their hands.”

“I couldn’t let him die in my place. I couldn’t let anyone else die for me.”

He comes to stand beside her, and she lifts her chin and looks away.

“No one else would’ve had to die,” She replies. “Look at where you’re standing. Do you really think that we had no other options available to us? The stroke of a pen, and your man was conscripted into the Inquisition. He’s a good soldier, and we need good soldiers. Now more than ever. We need good men.”

“I’m not a good man,” he protests.

“No, you’re not,” she fires back. The sky crackles, and she turns to face him, folds her arms across her chest and shoots out her hip. “You’re selfish, obsessed with regaining some honor you think you lost–”

“I did lose it!” He yells, equal parts anger and desperation, as if he thinks there’s something here that she doesn’t understand.

“And that honor, with those people, was more important than your honor with me?” She leans down to look into his eyes, pointing off in some direction that might be Orlais, then stabbing at her chest with her finger.  “Your place with me, in my heart. That was worth sacrificing, to swing from a rope in front of people who will not feel better when you’re dead.”

They each let out a frustrated sigh and turn away from the other. She tips her head back and breathes, trying to clear her head. She doesn’t want to say something that she’ll regret later, something that’s not true and thrown at him in anger.

“I wish you hadn’t come to get me.” He’s standing with his arms crossed, and he looks almost like himself again, chest puffed up and eyes clear, full of intent. “I made my peace. I never wanted to let this affect the Inquisition. Now everyone will know that you’re corrupt.”

The laugh bubbles up inside her, and her throat hurts when it comes out, as if she’s coughed too hard or choked on a drink. “We’re an organization of heretics, led by a Vashoth mercenary mage, of all things!” She stalks towards him as she counts off on her fingers. “I’ve killed for coin, lived as an apostate my entire life, never so much as set foot inside a Circle. My closest advisers are, let’s see, right: a disgraced former Knight-Captain who followed a Commander who recommended genocide in Kirkwall, the Divine’s personal assassin, and poor Josie, trying to put out the fires we all start.”

“Do you have a point, Inquisitor?” He spits the word out, and she turns her head to glare at him out of the corner of her eye. She will not be made to feel like less by him. Not a chance.

“Do you really think you’re the only one in the Inquisition who’s lying, who sees this as their new start? You are brave and noble and kind, and your past can’t change that. But how you acted, with me, running away… The man I fell in love with would never have run away like you did. Blackwall would have stood his ground and told me and let me help him, but he didn’t get the chance because the coward Thom Rainier dragged him off to die.”

Thunder booms so that the glass in the windows rattles, and she rakes a hand back through her hair.

“Is it corrupt to save the lives of good soldiers by conscripting them into the Inquisition instead of letting them hang? Is that really corruption? The Grey Wardens can conscript whoever they like, and you seem happy to be one of them!”

He frowns, something in the set of his brows softening, as if her pain is just now starting to register with him, as if he’s beginning to see the full consequences of his choices. “I don’t understand what you mean, Bell.”

“Inquisitor,” she snaps. He nods, resting his hands on the small of his back.

“I let Venatori sink a Qunari longship to save my friends. I traveled through time to save my friends. Conscripting your man and keeping you safe would’ve been the easiest thing I’ve done so far this week, and you didn’t even think to ask for my help.”

Tears make her vision swim, and she lowers her head, pinching the bridge of her nose until her lower lip stops trembling and she trusts herself to speak again. “You care about honor more than I do,” she whispers. Outside the window, the thunder stills as quickly as it had started. “I’ll grant you that. I’m a mercenary; we have different rules.”

She turns away from him and walks to sit on the edge of the bed again. The fire in her is starting to go out, and she doesn’t want it to but she’s too tired to keep it lit, even though her anger is all that’s been protecting her from her pain. “But what good is any of this if I can’t use it to help those I care about most, those I love. Isn’t there honor in that? Is that really so corrupt?”

Boots appear in front of her, and she lifts her head enough to look up at him.

“I do hate to see you cry,” he sighs.

“Then don’t look,” she growls. “Take your newfound freedom and go if you don’t want to see it.”

He furrows his brows as he looks at her. “You really would let me leave. I really am that free?”

“That’s what the word means,” she replies dryly, rolling her eyes to look away from him. “Obviously what I want you to do doesn’t matter, so you might as well just do what you want.”

He reaches out towards her cheek and Bellial sits back, hands falling into her lap. She glares at his hand, her gaze cutting up to his eyes until his arm falls back to his side. He’s lost that privilege for now.

“If I stay,” he starts, shifting his weight and looking down at his feet. “What happens to us?”

That’s the question she’s been asking herself since she found him. There was no way she could leave him there, even if it was tempting in the moment. He’d fallen to her knees in front of her and it had taken all her strength not to reach into the cell and whack his head against the bars so she could haul him back to Skyhold over her shoulder, leaving Cullen to deal with the Orlesians.

“Will you stay?” She wants him to, and she hates that she wants him to. All her life she’s been careful with her heart, and this one time she lets her guard down, lets someone in, and look what happens. But there’s a place inside her now that’s shaped like him, and if he walks away forever, she’ll collapse into it.

“I’d like to, yes.” He sighs. “I know what you said out there, but my destiny is still in your hands. I don’t know who Thom Rainier is anymore, but I know who Blackwall is, the Blackwall you– Your Blackwall. He’s a man who loves you, and wants to keep fighting by your side, if you’ll have him.”

If this was one of Cassandra’s books there would be a tearful embrace, kissing, and a night spent together mending each other’s hurts. Life is so rarely like books, however, and so she stays sitting on her bed, elbows resting on her knees and her hands clasped out in front of her.

“From the moment I started to want anything out of this other than to survive, he was what I wanted. You.” Bellial shakes her head gently as she looks up at him, incredulous that she has to state it so plainly. “If you stay, you must promise me that you’ll never leave like this again. You know now that I will find you and bring you back. Your leaving would only delay our mission. Do you want that?”

“No, Inquisitor.”

She nods, not remotely satisfied, but enough for one night. “Good. Your things are still in the barn where you left them. I’ll be out early to check that you’re still there.”

He nods again, standing at rest, waiting to be dismissed. “Understood, Inquisitor.”

She sighs. “You can call me Bellial, Blackwall. Now go get some rest.”

He lingers for a moment, then steps away towards the stairs. “Thank you, Bellial. Good night.”

[corancoranthemagicalman]

💜🌻💜🌻💜🌻💜

My grandpa also has great disdain for recent music... he doesn't like anything after the 50s. So I think its funny that he likes Shrek and he'll watch it any time its on tv. I'm not familiar with Top Gun's soundtrack. I'll have to give Take My Breath Away a listen!

My dad words at a university and he used to bring me and my siblings to the international dinners he'd host. Students would always as me what I was studying and eventually when people started talking to me I'd introduce myself by saying I was my dad's daughter and that I was in high school. I'm not sure if any of them were ever hitting on me bc I was, and still am, pretty oblivious to flirtations. It sucks that you had to tell guys you were in high school to get them to back off. Glad to hear they did, though.

I used to be a hufflepuff when I was in university! I re-took the quiz twice about a year ago and was shocked to get Slytherin both times but I've embraced it. Most of the qualities are very positive except for cunning and I don't think that describes me at all.

I totally get that. I had a similar experience meeting my best friend at university. We clicked really fast and even after graduating I still hang out with her once a week. (The teenage drama movie life thing sounds awful but in high school I was definitely also on the outside of my friend circle) It sure has been hard recently to maintain friendships but I have more good friends right now than at any other point in my life.

I'll take your word for it that I give off painting/crocheting vibes! And I agree with you on the winter v. summer thing. Summer is my least favorite season. Partly because of how humid it is in the summer here.

My group just finished a campaign a few months ago and I played a gnome cleric. They started a new campaign but I felt like I needed a break bc the sessions are long and intense even though I really enjoy it. What class do you play?

The sweater is a commission actually! In university I led a crochet for beginners group and there were a few people that just couldn't ever get the hang of it :(

Did I see that you weren't feeling well today? If so I'm so sorry to hear that! I hope tomorrow treats you better 💜 (also sorry this is an entire novel I haven't spoken to anyone all day so I guess you're getting it all)

-🐧🌻

This got SO LONG so bestie I am replying undercut to you. If anyone wants to see me slowly bromance 🐧🌻 anon then read away lol.

I am envisioning your grandpa dancing to Smash Mouth and it brings me great joy. Oh, man, Top Gun has an AMAZING soundtrack. Danger Zone is a classic, but Take My Breath Away is such a romantic song. Please let me know what you think!!!

Aw, that's sort of wholesome though. I'd get that from the older ladies at my church lol. "What are you studying?"/"Algebra, usually." Which was a LAUGH. And to be honest, I'm a flirty person by nature. I think flirting is fun. But to be crude for a moment (and apologies), most of their flirting would be staring at my breasts. :/ But it was SUCH HIGH HOPES when they backed off. Like YES you GO performing the bare minimum by not being attracted to children. Bravo. But really, I've never had a dude flirt with me who wouldn't back off after me shutting them down, minor or not. So I'm very fortunate in that way. But I too can be fairly oblivious? First time I got asked out, I thought he was asking me to hang out with the friend group. Then he was like "... like a date." After I had asked where did we all wanna meet up. Lmaooooo.

We do change as we grow. I've been taking some personality quizzes for school in regards to the PMAI (Pearson-Marr Archetype Indicator) especially and it actually talks a lot about how at different times in your life you'll display different archetypes depending on what you're having to adapt to or overcome. So I think the same is true for Houses. What's peculiar to me about Houses is that when I was younger I was under the understanding that you were your House, right? But the older I got, I prescribe to the "your House is what you admire" type theology. So I might not embody a Hufflepuff in every action, but a Hufflepuff is what I aspire to be. I admire loyalty above all else. Loyalty and kindness. I might not always BE kind. I'm far too hot-headed to be the embodiment of a Hufflepuff, but I admire gentle souls the most. Ergo, Hufflepuff. I've always hated how Slytherins were associated with negative sounding modifiers. Cunning IS a negative word since by definition it's about achieving one's goals through deceit. But I dont understand why being quick-witted and clever couldn't have been the heavier association. I think Ravenclaw's are booksmart and Slytherin are streetsmart. Gryffindors are street tough, while Hufflepuff are ready to roll. Does that make sense? I think the whole cunning/silver-tongued thing was the stupidest idea, because then you are saying narratively that Slytherin IS the evil House. Why have the House at all? On a meta level, Harry begging not to be considered part of the Dark Side despite the actual Voldemort growing inside of him is symbolic in his rejection of Slytherin, but when you go on to merchandise and tell children you are a Slytherin; you're telling children they're evil. They're gonna be evil. And not in "this is the House for brats" way. In the "you either die a villain or live long enough to run away." insane. My point is they're OUR Houses now and I'm saying I think you're clever and quick-witted, and that's pretty Slytherin to me.

I'm very blessed to have her and I'm glad other people get to experience that too. I think everyone is deserving of deep connections like that. And I'm glad to hear you taking time for yourself away from dnd. Our sessions can be exhausting too, but half of my party is my literal blood family and the other half is adopted practically so we usually end up hanging out for half of the session. Makes it way less intense. That sounds like it was a fun character!! I haven't gotten the pleasure to play clerics all that much. Right now I'm in three different campaigns that alternate each week. In one I'm a druid, and that's our 5th edition campaign. I'm playing the new Wildfire from Tasha's and I haven't gotten to flex out the Wildfire Spirit yet, I am having fun. I've got a wolf who is using the sidekick mechanic in that game and he's so much fun to play too. In the other two games, those are 4th editions (the edition I grew up on and learned how to play) and in those I am a ranger and a class known as a Warden. Sort of a fighter/druid class. And the druid and the ranger are both shifters, and the warden is my half-orc. I'm always happy to talk dnd lol. Which cleric were you? Trickster Domain?

Also EWWW HUMIDITY I HATE IT. :(((

Dude, I WISH I could crochet. My fingers are so big tho, bestie. Makes it hard to do anything dexterous.

I'm already feeling much better :)) unfortunately not in time not to bomb half of my project. Whoops. But I'm blaming Glass Shark. He got me sick.

Dont apologize for the novel!! As you can see I'm capable of replying with a novel in turn lol. I hope you had a wonderful day today and that this next week treats you well!! Thank you for the well wishing 💕🌺💕🌺💕🌺💕🌺💕🌺💕