#but the answer at this time in medical history is uhhhhhhhh roofies or speed ๐ or both lol
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the additional full SCOPE of narcoleptic hypnagogic hallucinations, however? you will be shocked to hear that part is also not a good time
weirdest casualty of long Covid (besides. yk. the Incurable Disability) is in terms of linguistic processing I can truly no longer talk or sing as fast as I used to
not that I was super fast before, but one of the days I was sickest, words actually stopped... meaning anything? like I was at work, I was hitting my DT script, but was pushing through on pure muscle memory phonetically. I could process what I was hearing or reading just fine, but could not talk outside of this heavily repetitive workplace script, which is actually very dystopian now that I think about it. virus hitting the brain means I'm a zombie that can't speak except to say, "HIII :) whatcanIgetstartedferyouthismorning?"
anyway, thought it was just fatigue, but went to my car on my break, watched a trending video of people trying to rap along to Fergalicious at double speed. I could LIP SYNC to it just fine. I tested my theory. but I could NOT get my mouth and voice to work at the same time to actually sing/rap it. even now, tbh, I have to make myself NOT think about it while rapping it to get the words to flow out or I get stuck. like it's truly something in the brain for where you process speech, but not where you process just lyrical phonics like music. I have to consciously make a REAL effort to turn off the "word" part of my brain to be fast again.
I speak perfectly legibly, I can genuinely get up to decently fast normal talking speeds, just not Northeastern fast-fast. but it comes up in music a surprising amount, and it's kind of annoying to have lost as a skill.
#scawyโข#like ok yeah yeah yeah it's a legitimately disabling and permanent disorder triggered by covid related neurological damage. whatever#but sometimes... my body and brains are at odds. or rather my brain & the damage are at odds and my body is the battleground#[utada hikaru vc] my heart's a battlegroundโ#uh and the part of my brain that does not want me BLACKING OUT is like wake up bitch!!!!! or I'll make you experience sth SCARY!!!!!!!#only the scary thing will be a family member in another room screaming for help or that there is blood.#or feeling with certainty that a loved one is dead#and I need my body to stop saying ODD SHIT to resist narcolepsy and just GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP without casting spell of EMOTIONAL DAMAGE#that said I laughed just now bc I was googling like can these shits just be auditory cause they used to. not be like that#found an infographic like treatments: good sleep hygiene! mindfulness! getting rest! :) asterisk subtitle - narcolepsy: amphetamines! :)#they're not wrong but phew sleepy episodes when disaster strikes? nightmares of vivid bloodcurdling screams? take meth about it bitch#like why are all the brain misfires scary shit a demon would want to trick me with! riddle me this!#but the answer at this time in medical history is uhhhhhhhh roofies or speed ๐ or both lol#health
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