#but that wouldn't be very aftg of them

[joejhang]

fanon neil vs canon neil

god i am so FUCKING done with the aftg fandom mischaracterising neil i'm literally writing fucking ESSAYS about it and pacing circles muttering about it under my breath it's driving me up the goddamn wall so i am going to word vomit brain dump yap about all of it in an incoherent tumblr text post. spoilers ahead continue at ur own risk

i've said it before and i'll say it again I HATE FANON NEIL. istg this fandom LOVES to mischaracterise neil and ykw i think i know why. they take the smallest most unnoticeable parts of his personality and then exaggerate them to disproportionate and unrealistic levels in order for him to fit their idea of a conventional, stereotypical and desirable main character. they smooth out his jagged edges and prick at his "insecurities" to make him more likeable, more acceptable and more conventional of a narrator/main character and in doing so erase so fucking much of his personality and draw as a character that he loses just about all of the flavour that made me love him in canon. and also especially within the andreil dynamic this fucking fandom just loves to tweak neil's character until he's basically unrecognisable just so they can cram andreil into some preconceived socially acceptable clichéd ship dynamic. because andrew is perceived as the typical mysterious, moody and grumpy love interest therefore neil just has to be the sunshiney smiley blushing cute softboy in exchange. yeah because all gay ships have to be grumpy-sunshine and black cat-golden retriever dynamic. i raise you: andreil's dynamic doesn't work because of their differences it works because of their similarities. if u think about it andrew and neil are honestly very similar people in the way they think and process emotions and events and that's what allows them to connect and understand each other. andreil would not work if neil was super sunshiney and a blushy soft mess and andrew was the stoic, never smiling, unemotional stone of a guy the fandom loves to make them. just accept they do not fit into the conventional boxes laid out by booktok for what gay ships look like. i fucking digress.

neil is also just insanely mischaracterised on his own. people love making him very jittery and insanely oblivious and easily flustered with a generous serving of self-esteem issues. i hate to break it to you guys: neil josten is not insecure. i don't think there's a single instant in the series where neil is actually insecure about anything. as a narrator, person and character, neil is very realistic, pragmatic and logical. ruthlessly so. i'd say on this, neil is even more cerebral and unemotional than andrew is. neil is very straightforward and realistic abt himself in his narration and i'd honestly say his opinion and views about himself are one of the only things in the story that isn't affected by his narrator bias. if neil is anything, it's self-aware. i'm now going to present all my fucking evidence.

neil doesn't have a sexuality crisis. literally in the entire series never once does he even question his fucking sexuality. it's implied he's already figured out he's aspec/demisexual from the moment nicky questions him about his sexuality. neil says "i don't swing" and follows up in his narration: it wasn't quite the truth, but it was close enough. and later when he starts his relationship with andrew he doesn't ever question the nature of his feelings towards andrew or even anyone else and is pretty clear about it when andrew breaches the topic: "kissing you doesn't make me look at them any differently" so yeah neil is pretty certain and aware of his sexuality.

neil isn't insecure about his appearance. i feel like this is gonna require a bit of work to explain but hear me out. it is mentioned several times that neil has a complicated relationship with his appearance because he looks so much like his father/abuser. this is obviously understandable; you wouldn't want to look into the mirror and see the man who gave u all ur scars. that being said, neil doesn't have a lot of strong emotions regarding his appearance. most of his feelings of panic tied to when r*ko dyed back his hair is because of how it would be a lot easier for his father to discover him now that he has his original colouring back. i'm also pretty sure neil knows that he's cute. like it's never explicitly stated but i've reread aftg maybe fifty times and trust me i can read between the lines. neil explicitly says that he has a "love-hate relationship with his reflection out of necessity" and while the "hate" part of that statement is obvious: he doesn't like that he resembles his father, i've sort of just accepted that the "love" part of it is that he knows he's kinda fine. it's not brought up by him at all bc neil as a person is not one to linger on people's appearances almost at all. i think the only people to get a decent amount of lines dedicated to their appearance in the narration are allison and andrew. but yeah i genuinely don't think neil thinks he's ugly or unattractive and he's probably definitely been told how cute he is by others enough that he doesn't harbour any delusions about how he looks. regarding his scars, he never expresses any insecurity towards them and how they look, he just doesn't like them on display understandably bc of how acutely they point to his past and childhood that he's trying to hide.

neil is actually very very confident in his own and other people's abilties. this is esp regarding exy. he knows he's good at the game. like he knows. the most distinct example i can think of for this point is when kevin tells neil that he was at castle evermore to try out for the perfect court when they were younger. neil doesn't even doubt for a fucking second that he would've made it onto the perfect court. never does. he skips over the second-guessing and doubt part and just straight up starts daydreaming about the future he could've had playing with kevin and r*ko. like that really got me bc it's easy to assume neil would be super unassuming and have low self-esteem but no like neil doesn't doubt for a fucking second that he deserves to be perfect court. it's just that he doesn't believe in r*ko's delusions enough to play along with it by the time he gets the tattoo. he's also insanely confident about the foxes and their abilities and also kevin by the end of the series. at the beginning he takes a pretty realistic vantage point and says that with the way things are, the foxes will never beat the ravens. but even with that pov he still has the gall to challenge r*ko on LIVE TV and i doubt he's lying when he declares so boldly to everyone that if the foxes were united they'd be an unstoppable force (and guess what he was fucking RIGHT). and by the end, when the foxes are united, he has no more room left for doubt at all. some guy tells neil to kick the ravens' asses and neil just replies with zero hesitation "that's the plan". like he's so fucking on board with it. and he never once doubts that kevin is the best striker in the game. like literally never. at first he considers r*ko and kevin on par with each other (possibly, it's never stated outright) but by the end he literally has no doubts when he says "kevin is the best striker" like goddamn the amount of confidence neil has is so underrated.

neil is a very unemotional narrator. it actually gets me all the time how logical and ruthlessly pragmatic neil's narration and inner monologue is. some of the only strong emotions portrayed in neil's narration are anger, irritation and occasionally grief, which is only ever triggered by major trauma-inducing events (e.g. dr*ke). almost all of his inner monologue is analytical and observing others and dissecting either other people or the situation he's in. and almost all of his decisions and actions are made based on impulse and instinct. neil is a very instinctive person. this is outright stated in the way he plays exy; in theory, he can't give u a lot, but in the heat of the moment he's at his best. this applies to practically all facets of neil's life. he never plans his moves or what he's gonna say (except like that one time when he planned out what half-truth he was gonna tell andrew post-columbia). he's super quick and on the ball and literally does whatever the fuck he wants at any given moment. he's also insanely good at compartmentalising. like it's difficult to explain but while his priorities are obv hilariously skewed, they're also very clear in his mind. things he considers unimportant he simply just doesn't think about. what others look like and what they think of him don't factor into his internal monologue or his thoughts at all he literally just files them away in the back of his mind until they do end up becoming useful or important to him. he barely comments on andrew's appearance at all until andrew becomes someone worth staring at and admiring for him. the only reason he describes allison and renee in the detail that he does is because it's important in understanding how and why he reacts to them the way he does. this man was literally about to lose his goddamn mind at the fall banquet but he specifically reserved his mental breakdown for after the banquet so he could spend his time roasting the fuck out of r*ko. bro fully locked in and was like "clock riko now break down later" and i respect it.

neil doesn't actually have a martyr complex. it's funny because almost all of aftg is him being the absolute fucking opposite of a martyr. he wilfully sticks around the foxes knowing he's putting himself and them in danger. he doesn't "sacrifice" himself until he's absolutely forced to by his father's people. by then, he's already told himself he can't and won't run and he's smart enough to know he'll never get away anyway. and going to evermore wasn't about self-sacrifice or martyrdom it was about protecting andrew and those two are pretty fucking different. he knew he was coming back from evermore and he knew that he wouldn't die there, despite all the shit he went through, so i don't think that can be counted as "self-sacrifice". he was doing what he had to do to protect andrew, the same as andrew would've done for neil or aaron or kevin or anyone else he'd sworn to protect. the kidnapping in baltimore was the culmination of neil's character arc, which isn't really about learning to be selfless and self-sacrificing, it's about learning to stand his ground and stop running. those things r crucially different: neil not running in baltimore wasn't about selflessness, it was about courage. yes, part of it was obviously inspired by the foxes and motivated by not wanting them to be hurt but i truly believe it ultimately was about neil learning to stand his own ground and make his own home and have it be something he's willing to die for. call it whatever u want honestly i just don't think neil is as much of a martyr/sacrificial lamb as the fandom makes him out to be.

[skyddish]

my aftg hot take is that i don't think Andrew and Neil would like kids very much.

I don't mean Andrew and Neil wouldn't treat them right, it's really not hard to be good with kids. But in my experience, kids all have different personalities, do/say shocking things on purpose, and navigate the world by pushing boundaries and seeing what they can get away with— which would drive Andrew and Neil nuts. After spending enough time around them, the quirks that make them super endearing also make them insanely annoying. And Andrew and Neil have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to irritating people.

Some kid hacks they'd probably utilize when in the presence of the foxes children is counting down from 5, and saying the phrase, "Hands to yourself." Until their faces are blue.

If Andreil ever had to babysit, it would be mayhem. Those two idiots (respectfully) wouldn't have a clue.

[ninyard]

Just want your opinion as one of my fave aftg blogs. I see a lot of Neil with long hair art but I’m a believer that Neil 100% of the time had uneven bowl cuts or bathroom mirror cuts up to the end of aftg

I don’t believe his mom would’ve taken them (on the run) to a barber. It’s totally normal for moms to cut their kids hair so it never raised any red flags anywhere they went. Neil needed hair that wouldn’t stick out. Home haircuts are as plain as it gets.

After his mom died, he had to cut it himself but also wasn’t very good at it. So it was a short, uneven shag. And he wouldn’t trust anyone else with sharp object near his head/neck. So he just… looked like that for the duration of the books. Choppy, maybe a little naturally swoopy early 2000’s hair

SO I personally believe Neil has long-ish textured/wavy hair like this

I don't believe he actually gets it cut until its grown out far too long and it's getting in his eyes and there's a colour difference between where Riko & Jean would've had to lighten his hair vs his actual natural hair. Like. Unless he keeps dying his hair his natural colour until it's grown out enough, there's going to be a colour difference when the dye starts to fade. even then, I think he always leaves it far too long in between every hair cut that he gets

BUT

I do believe that the likelihood of his hair looking like this for a while after his mom died is extremely high.

Like genuinely it wouldn't surprise me if he had it extremely short/buzzed for a while because he couldn't cut it properly and it was just SO bad. it's also hilarious to imagine Neil "must blend in can't be memorable" Josten walking around whatever state he was in, sticking out like a sore thumb because of his terrible haircut. He definitely taught himself how to do it better after a while but there had to have been a little while there where his haircuts were awful lmao

(sidenote uhhh thank you so much for saying i'm your fave aftg blog?? i love you actually??)

[glitter-stained]

Batfam All For The Game AU can you imagine

Coach Wayne making the most fucked up team in the whole exy league

And then they get their shit together and randomly become the objective best at the job (on the first time too!)

The Renee /Cass parallel are incredible

Goalkeeper Cass and defensive dealer Steph, Steph is nicknamed "the wildcard" because she's so unpredictable nobody knows what she's gonna do next not even her and yet somehow the team gets it?!!! She and Cass have a special move where Steph shoots backwards directly into the goal to free the terrain and Cass sends it right back at her no matter where she runs

Striker Dick doing acrobatics over the backliners to avoid getting bodyslammed, and the kinetic force of the flips and deny in the law of physics adds impetus to the hit of the racket and gets him mid-air scoring shots

Offensive dealer Jason cause he's aggressively versatile (he used to train as a striker in the little league, then stuff happened and he was taught to become a backliner for a while, and then when he came to join the Gotham Bats he went through a whole crisis arc to reinvent himself at first it's such a disaster)

Striker Duke striker Duke striker Duke it just makes sense this kid happened on an exy scuffle randomly as a kid and this guy thrice his size was bullying someone and Duke jumped in and the bully bet Duke couldn't score a goal so Duke said bet and immediately scored like in the pilot episode of a least nine different sports anime, and that's when Duke decided he wanted to be an exy striker

Backliner Tim fucks so hard this guy is holding the line no matter what happens he doesn't need to be built like a fridge he has technique and strategy and a whole lotta confidence (I'm also just a sucker for stories where characters get in positions that you wouldn't assume work with their build but it actually works really well because of their skills/hard-work/grit/general aura)

Damian who thought he had to prove himself as a striker (he trained for striker since the little league) and then reinvented himself as a defensive dealer

Barbara was goalie and then after she became disabled decided to stay and monitors training and collects information on the enemy teams to design deadly strategies. In no post-win interview does the designated speaker forget to credit Barbara's strategy for their win, partially because it's very true and partially out of fear of offending her (very valid).

Professional Exy player Kate Kane agrees to help coach the kids (she's a backliner)

Bruce is retired but he was a goalie

Harper is a backliner (and Cullen a cheerleader!!)

Luke Fox is a backliner

(also unlike in Aftg, while Bruce does find out one of the kids is his blood son he adopts all of them. Equal opportunity hoarder.)

[thespineoftherighteous]

My aftg take is that kevdrew? Kevandreil whatever those ships are called just would not work with the canon characters. Kevin and Andrew’s whole thing is that Kevin pushes Andrew out of his boundaries and doesn’t take his no’s. They wouldn’t not work romantically or sexually because of this!! Neil and Andrew’s biggest motivating factor when it comes to exploring their relationship is that Neil accepts Andrew’s no’s which makes Andrew comfortable enough to show that side of him. There’s a reason the poly angle was scrapped. I get that it’s like hot or whtv but pls be fr. They’re gunna kill me, your honor lol

interesting interesting!! me personally I think kandreil/kandrew is def fun but whatever is going on with Andrew and Kevin is way more interesting than being boyfriend's. I think that they both push each other out of their boundaries actually and that's hugely what's so fascinating about them. they can push and shove each other and get to each other farther than anyone else is capable of. you could make a very fair point of saying it's not healthy or even toxic etc but I don't think that's something they particularly care about.

however, you say that Kevin wouldn't respect Andrew in a romantic/sexual relationship and I disagree with that. I think that Kevin in a true romantic relationship would actually be very different from what we see of him throughout the whole series. I'm a little rusty on the details but I'm pretty sure that the instances we get of Kevin pushing Andrew (+anyone else) are all exy related— that's what Kevin is the most passionate about and that's what drives him to push into people so much. in fact, you can even see it in the scenes in which Kevin's present but the focus isn't exy that he's kind of mellow and far far less intense than how he is regarding anything exy/Ravens/moriyamas.

that's not to say the relationship wouldn't mean anything to him, so much as I think that he'd be less abrasive and more compliant? if not submissive, than what you're suggesting

even if it's something he didn't conform to immediately the way Neil did, I think that he would adapt to Andrew's boundaries as soon as Andrew checked him for it.

[patolemus]

✨ rules: list your ten favorite characters from ten separate fandoms, then tag ten people!

I got tag by my dearest @oldefashioned (ily so much pookie!) and while I am horribly late as usual here I am, at last!

I don't really watch much TV or movies, but I do read a lot and I watch a lot of anime so we'll be doing a mash up. None of these have a particular order either.

Stiles Stilinski from Teen Wolf because of course I'd pick Stiles, even though this really is a toss up with Derek Hale, I love you pookie!

Percy Jackson from PJO, my entire childhood summed up. I'd go to war for him, even though he wouldn't want me to.

Neil Josten from AFTG. Andrew was SO CLOSE though, I love them both, my deranged little psychos.

James Potter from Harry Potter. Yes I know he has two lines in all seven books, yes I know he's been dead since before the fucking prologue, no I don't care.

Newt from The Maze Runner, because this is what Thomas would have wanted, you silly little heartbroken boy who definitely has Newt's letter memorized. In your hearts, you're gay even though James Dashner scrapped your love story. They're both lovely.

Cardan from The Folk of the Air, he's so pathetic and besotted with his wife, I love him.

Lucerys Velaryon from House of the Dragon (or well, the GOT universe I guess). If anyone has been here for long enough you'll know.

Bakugou Katsuki from BNHA I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM AND HIS GAY LITTLE HEART!! They called me crazy but WHO'S LAUGHING NOW??? I also really like Izuku though. And All Might is so silly goofy.

Roy Mustang from FMA/FMAB he is, like Cardan, also very pathetic and kind of bbgirl. I'd die for him. Predicably though, Ed is also my favorite.

Eren Jaeger from AOT. Does this make me just like other girls? Or does it mean I'm right? We'll never know (I'm right).

I know we said only one character but I can't help myself okay????? How can they ask me to choose one person when they work better as a pair??? Anywaysss ignoring my obvious failure, I'm tagging @salty-fryingpan @novasillies @endwersed @dontcallpanic @gege-wondering-around @kittykatstiles @superfluffycam-blog @darling-winnie @dear-massacre and @fuji09 (since when do I have ten mutuals?????? When did this happen?)

[andreilver]

i think one of the things i love the most about all for the game is the tumblr fandom.

so, the other day i posted something like "andrew minyard you would love *insert a series he probably wouldn't love but in that moment I thought he would*" and someone (thank you random stranger) "kindly" pointed out that no: he wouldn't. and they proceed to explain why. and i was like "oh. shit thats true"

at first i felt bad like "oh, that was obvious what was I thinking". but then I went huh? everyday you learn something new🤷🏽‍♀️

im pretty new to the fandom tbh, and i love that, when I enter in Tumblr, I learn some new thoughts and analysis yall post about aftg in Tumblr.

aftg has lots of characters, development and their own things yk. most of them are very difficult to fully understand. so I love how each one of you? us? see them in each way AND I LOVE yalls reflections

did that make sense? idk; i don't think anyone will read this random thing but cheers to a world full of aftg essays xx

bye random strangers, love u

[luvbug724]

neil being aftg's narrator is its biggest strength and its biggest weakness.

he's absolutely the right person and the only person to tell this story, and his perspective frames a lot of characters in sympathetic lights that you wouldn't get from other characters' narrations (see: would we like andrew if aftg was from dan's pov? what about seth from nicky's?), but, for almost the entire trilogy, he doesn't care about them beyond what he needs to know to help himself. that's why we can love andrew, who doesn't apologize or feel bad for actions we condemn in other characters that we don't understand as well. think about jean-- he was an unrepentant jerk loyal to riko up until neil is forced to rely on him, at which point we learn that he's loyal to riko because he has no other choice. because every character in aftg takes actions that a lot of people from different backgrounds/thought processes would disagree with, we need that sort of understanding to be able to understand why that action was the most logical/only choice/best choice for the character to take.

it's very easy, then, for the fandom to pick a character we don't understand and crucify them. do you think nicky doesn't have his own motivations? do you think thea hadn't spent four years in a cult, where on-court frustrations were expected to be worked out physically, when she started hooking up with kevin? that nora herself said that the raven mentality is so strong that "failed ravens have a tendency to commit suicide."

neil doesn't know and he doesn't care, so we don't get paragraphs of him trying to understand their logic like he does with andrew. these characters, mostly, aren't good people, which is what makes them so compelling, and it's infuriating to see the fandom approach every character with a morality test and demonize them if they fail it. u drive me insane.

[capcavan]

I wish people wrote about it more because Neil navigating the politics of the Nest and its inherent violence is so interesting. Raven!Neil fics tend to make him hate and be hated by every raven that isn't Jean & Kevin, but I've always felt realistically I could see him making a number of allies in the Nest. Even if he was Rikos enforcer, if he helped keep people safe... yknow? He's also just pretty likable, like he's one of the most well-liked characters in the series. Very few other characters don't like him, and I know AFTG has a reputation as being 'found family' and it is, but at the same time, many of the foxes still don't rlly like each other or don't get along/aren't friends, while Neil is pretty good friends with nearly every single one of them. Am I making any sense 😅

It's because every raven that is not Jean or Kevin IS EVIL I can't see neil to be Kevins friend in the nest neil would see Kevin as somone who is good on court but usless out of it and if anything he would see Kevin as Rikos emotional crutch. Between Riko and Neil i think Neil is actually the one that could live a life without using other people for comfort while Riko's whole character comflict is based on the need for external validation. I wouldn't call neil to be friend with them all for me (not durign the books but later on sure) it just feels like he was fun new addition to the team and everyone wanted to make effort to drag him to their clique (he just happened to join them together+ unlike kevin he was small hurt and extermally pityfull so he did not provkoed the same annoyence kevin did ) Like neil does not have people pleaser friend perosnality and we finally get to see more geniue version of his character in tsc i had sadly not finished yet bc it hurts me too deeply, i don't think he would make bunch of bffs in nest mainly because he would not see any ravens outside of perfect coiurt to be worth more than training aids during scrimmages, my raven neil is absoltue little shit that makes fun of everyone's incomeptences and then pulls a knife when they try to talk back to him. Riko adores watchign those displays because in the end Neil speak what they both think <3

[joanofexys]

jo i need to know more abt angel's trauma

Angel angst!!! This boy is so packed full of trauma and I'll dig it all up

tws for pretty much everything in AFTG ever

At four years old Angel's mother goes missing and he starts becoming the target of his fathers abuse. His father's treatment leaves him scared and confused. He's beyond spoiled once his mother goes missing. Suddenly his father bringing home gifts nearly daily. But every time he makes a mess, he's too loud, he cries, he complains he's being hit. If his father comes home and seems to be having a bad night he could be being given a new toy and in the same breath receiving 10 new bruises.

CPS was contacted for the first time when he was five years old by his kindergarten teacher. She had seen bruises, he was a lot quieter than other kids, flinched at things no one else did. When he got scraped up on the playground he wouldn't even cry. But when they show up at the door they meet a very charming, but tired, father, mourning his missing wife. He welcomed them in to a slightly messy, but still well kept, house with his quiet son who hid behind his legs. They asked to speak with Angel alone and sat down with him at the kitchen table.

"Did you find my mommy?"

There's silence for a few minutes. Because how do you tell a little kid that his mom's probably not coming home? That you're not here about his mom but because they have to ask if his other parent is hurting him? And when they do ask all Angel does is deny, deny, deny.

"Are you gonnna take away my daddy too?"

They leave. Nothing happens. And if Angel doesn't get hit that night for doing a good job, well, nobody but him knows.

CPS gets called a few more times throughout the years. Angel gets good at lying. His father has father has perfected the grieving widow, single dad act. By age eight it escalates from just getting hit. Things are thrown, he explains away the visible cuts as accidents on the playground. He dropped a plate while his dad was at work and tried to clean it up by himself. The cuts lead to nasty scarring under his shirt, they all keloid, and even when they heal they still hurt.

Sometimes he'll get a week or two where his father's hand is light. Where nothing gets thrown. Maybe a few days where he doesn't get hit at all. Of course he doesn't know it then but it was always following one of his father's murders.

And then he's 10 years old. Alone in a hospital bed with a cut up face and more broken bones than he's ever had. And everything hurts. And he wants his mom and he hates his dad. When the strangers step into the room he's old enough he knows no one will ever come with news about his mom and he's angry enough that he won't lie about his dad. And he's ten and all he wants is to never see his dad again. He doesn't care about any of the charges they're talking to him about, about them pressing him to confess that this had been happening for years, and he especially has zero interest in sitting in a court room and having to look his father in the eye.

He meets his first foster family before he's even discharged from the hospital. He was quiet when they first met him. They knew he was in rough shape but thought he would be easy enough. They're nice. A white picket fence type of family. Angel hated them. They were the polar opposite of what he was used to and he thought that was what he wanted. But when realized it was something he missed out on for the past ten years, something people just got while he had to be taken out of his home to get it, he was just so mad. Seven months. Seven months of therapy, of being taken out of classes to see counselors, of family vacations. Seven months of yelling that they weren't his family, of slammed doors, of fights on the blacktop. He left his "siblings" alone for the most part. Preferred to ignore them. Kept his fights to other students at school. But the last month he started yelling at them too. Never tried to hit them or physically hurt them but he certainly intended to be mean. The behavioral issues became too much for them and that family decided to let him go.

He doesn't care much for his other foster families. He knows he won't be staying with them for long. That he causes too much trouble. His next one has a dog. A chocolate lab. He likes the dog. His foster brother in his next family has a cool guitar. He tries to teach Angel before the two of them split up and move to different homes. There's the little girl when he's 12 who's even angrier than him. He likes that she's angry. He hopes she'll do something with it. One of his foster siblings gets the head torn off their teddy bear by their foster family's son. They leave it in the backyard. Angel steals some of the mom's sewing supplies and messily stitches it back on. The head is crooked and doesn't have enough stuffing. But when he puts on their bed their face still lights up. He's in detention near constantly. He ignores the look on foster parents faces every time one of them has to pick him up. There's the house that says a prayer before every meal. The house that always has fresh flowers on the counter. The house with the broken grandfather clock that chimed at random times. The house that fed the stray cats. Little things that differentiated every foster home, things that were unimportant when he was only with them so shortly, but things he remembered regardless.

Then he was 14. Two months in with a new family when the police showed up at the door. He's sure some kid got fed up with the fights and their parents decided to press charges or something. Instead they start asking about his dad. No elaboration on what it's about at first. And he's 14 and he's scared and he's being pressed to talk about a man who he hasn't seen in the past 4 years who nearly ended his life. And then they bring up his mom. He's 14 and he's angry at the world and he puts on that stupid tough guy act all the time, but he's never really stopped wanting his mom. They found her. She's dead. His father's confessed to her murder and the murders of 12 other women who resembled her. Does he know anything about it? They don't get far. He's sobbing, hyperventilating, begging for his mom. They offer to let him testify. He doesn't want to. He doesn't show up for the trial at all. The news mentions that Matteo Di Fiore, convicted of murdering his wife, Sofia Di Fiore, and 12 other women has a son. No name is ever given. He's a minor and he's already been in the system for years.

He gets home from the police station at 3 in the morning, following 7 hours of questioning, and promptly wrecks his room. Destroys books and toys and any other sentimental item he held onto from former families. He breaks two vases, cuts up his hands bad. They scar. Within the week he's placed somewhere else.

And like the flip of a switch he's that quiet kid again. Like his concerningly quiet 5 year old self. The eldest daughter in his new foster family, going into her senior year, decided that teaching him to play Exy was a good chance for bonding and could get him out of his shell. He had no reason to say no. He makes the high school team as a backliner and they play through that school year together. He's with that family for 5 months before one of the parents has a job opportunity and they have to move out of state for it. They offer to start adoption process, take him with them, but he doesn't want to leave.

He meets Harper Shaw later that year. Second semester, biology, they're 15 years old. She sits in front of him, they become lab partners, and study partners after that. He thinks she's a genius. Part of the cheer team and top of her class. She knows nothing about him, about who he was. It was a relief. He asked her prom, she said yes.

8 months together and then they find out she's pregnant. And it's terrifying. Harper wants to keep the baby. Angel isn't going to tell her to do otherwise. They're together for a little while before they realize it's just not gonna work that way and they decide to co-parent. A little while later and they're welcoming Phoebe Sofia Shaw into the world. Angel has never been more scared in his life. He thinks he's gonna be a terrible dad, he's determined to be a halfway decent one.

They get through high school. Angel's still flitting through foster homes, but he's half moved into the Shaw's place. It's overwhelming for them both. They try not to fight about it. He tries to remember how to breath when Phoebe cries. Tries to remember that he can always call Harper's parents to take Phoebe for a bit if he ever needs a moment. Harper gets accepted to college, Angel never bothered to apply to any. She'll make the move to PSU, he'll go with her and start working full time to support them.

Then he's called into his coaches office and David Wymack is sitting there. He knows the foxes. How could he not? One of their star players was in the news for his connections to the mafia. They had, by some miracle, won finals. He asks for some time and with Harper's encouragement he, stupidly (in his opinion), signs the dotted line.

Starting college is so much worse than he imagined. Andrew fucking Minyard put together who he was and why he fit the bill for the foxes before he even moved in for the summer. He has no clue what he wants to study or what classes to even take. Phoebe is entering the nightmare toddler stage where her favorite word is no and nothing seems to make her happy. Wyamck and Abby and even Bee seem more than happy to help out with her when Harper can't take her and he's stressed beyond belief but that only does so much.

He spends most of his time pacing in the court building or fox tower's hallways on the verge of tears, silently begging Phoebe to just go to sleep. People are assholes about him being a teen dad, people are worse to Harper. It brings back some of his temper. He might not be with her anymore but she's still his best friend. His work load is worse than he expected, yet nowhere near what Harper has on his plate, and keeping his grades up is a struggle. Surprisingly, it's Kevin who proves to be the most help with that. He loses a lot of sleep and ends up spending most nights at either Wymack or Abby's place because there's only so much, being woken up in the middle of the night by a screaming toddler, that most college students can take. He seriously considers dropping out multiple times in that year alone.

And this is hella long now so we're gonna wrap it up there, but I promise Angel doesn't drop out and he really loves his daughter and he loves the foxes too and it all works out.

[thornilee013]

WIP Wednesday 9.10.2024

Ahoy! Welcome back!

If you don't know how WIP Wednesdays work, hop down to the "read more!" If you do know the drill, my offerings for this week are listed here and my snippet of writing to prove that I have, in fact, made progress over the last week, is also under the "read more." (TLC)

1. Pulling Through

2. 101 Ways Not to Say I Do

3. Etienne (AFTG)

4. Needle AU

5. TLC (AFTG)

6. Baby Jean (AFTG)

6. Dealer's Choice (a snippet from a random project of my choosing! Also, you'll force me to work on one of my secret projects and can feel a lil evil)

YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE CAUGHT UP ON MY PROJECTS IN THE SLIGHTEST OR EVEN FOLLOW THEM TO BEGIN WITH TO SEND IN AN ASK. Please please please do not be shy. I love WW and the more asks I get the more excited I am.

*** Important note: I have a very physically demanding job and don't have access to a keyboard until much later in the day. I'll get to any asks sent in before the next WW though! ***

How WW works:

- you send me an ask with the name of any of the prompts that I've provided! I take multiple requests, even for the same project! (This is something that varies depending on the participant, so make sure to pay attention to any limits other people have put in place.)

- I respond to your ask(s) with three new sentences that I have written for that project. Sometimes they're chronological, and sometimes they're from a scene that I'm working on that is new from the previous week. I'll include notes for context.

- enjoy the sneak peeks at my projects!!! Everything that gets posted is in its "Rough Draft" stage, and I'll go through and edit/revise them before posting them to Ao3.

- spread the word! Send asks to fellow participants and reblog others' WWs! The more writing, the better!!!

SNIPPET FROM THIS LAST WEEK:

“Kevin was right, though.”

Jean cocked an eyebrow and turned his body so he was facing her more completely. “Please never say that again.”

Renee laughed. God, there was nothing he wouldn't do to draw laughs like that from her for an eternity. Hearing her laughter was like drinking a glass of water after getting home from a run in the summer heat: refreshing, fulfilling, and grounding. “I mean it, Jean. You deserve a team that will be kinder to you than us Foxes.”

“If I wanted kindness then I wouldn't play Exy,” Jean countered.

[jeaanmoreau]

kevjean drabble: lullaby

and nooooow, a little kevjean drabble for @avalonjoan as thanks for voting in my url debacle. less scary than the first one! we might make an aftg fic writer out of me yet!! 📚 read on ao3

He didn't know how they had ended up here. Jean was afraid to question it in case it turned out to be a figment of his imagination, like allowing himself to peer at a flickering candle only to snuff it out with his look alone.

It would always be easier to sleep with somebody else in the room and he knew Kevin felt it too. No matter what he said or how long it'd been since he turned his back on Evermore, the Raven blood ran deep and black in their veins and wasn't so easily washed away with the promises of fresh air and freedom.

So it didn't feel unnatural after talking for what had seemed like hours to let themselves drift off on this bed, and Jean had curled in on himself the way he always did and the warmth of Kevin's presence behind him had felt like home.

Kevin knew immediately when he woke, even though he didn't stir. "Does it hurt?"

His fingers had found the short tufts of hair that had grown back after being ripped off his scalp what felt like an aeon ago but had only been months. It'd grown back enough that it was indistinguishable if you didn't know what you were looking for. Kevin knew what he was looking for, and Jean could feel the lightest of pressures against his scalp where his fingertips grazed. "No," he murmured, half into the pillow, looking straight at the wall rather than turning back and breaking the illusion.

And maybe it was something to do with the fact that Kevin knew he wouldn't lie to him that he didn't hesitate before closing his fingers around the shorter hair, letting it sift between them before going for it again, slightly slower, softer. At first, Jean didn't know what he was looking for; if it was scarring or redness or patches where it hadn't grown back after all. It itched at his throat to ask, but he didn't, until eventually his chest constricted as it dawned on him, what this was.

Comfort.

There was nothing to it. Jean was not in pain and Kevin's fingers in his hair tickled at something warm and untouchable inside him that he couldn't place. At something that felt intimate and theirs in a way nothing had felt in years. Like with every sift of his fingers, he was pulling out memories and feelings he'd done such a good job of burying where they couldn't hurt him. And that hurt all over again in a very different way. Jean preferred the physical pain.

It was like a lullaby and a swan song, and he thought it would kill him as he mustered up enough air in his lungs and resolve in his stomach to roll back around and look up at the steely green eyes that were so often his damned undoing.

Kevin's hand stilled in his hair as he looked back at him. "Do you want me to stop?" he asked, in French.

The question ached like fire, and Jean could hear eight or nine foxes behind its asking, and that ached too, almost as much as the raw intimacy of the language that wasn't necessary to use in private. Too reminiscent of who they had been to each other and what that had meant. But whatever had been ripped out and regrown in the middle, he had never been able to push this away and he wasn't about to start. So he swallowed around the knot and returned the gaze, unremorseful. "No."

[ninyard]

Okay I NEED some Allison headcannons

Here’s some ideas if you need any lol:

Like how does she help Neil feel more “normal” after everything that happened? I feel like Matt, Dan, and Renee would probably walk on eggshells around him for a while, even after Nathan dies and the championship game and everything, cause now the adrenalines over and now they have to deal with the aftermath. I feel like Allison would just treat him normally. Not unkindly, but give him a sense of normalcy, yk?

favorite ice cream flavor

How does she react to Seth’s death post-aftg? How do the rest of the Foxes help her process her grief about Seth? Cause from Seth’s death to the last championship game is about 8 months, and death (especially of someone you love) doesn’t just go away like that fast ofc

Favorite brands? (She definitely owns AT LEAST once juicy couture set)

Music taste?

How do you think her relationship is with the other foxes? What are some things that she talks about and does with one person, but might not do with another?

How motherly she is with Neil. Seriously we all know she dragged this boy by the ear to the mall so she can buy him some real clothes.

Some chaotic Allison cause this bitch (affectionate) definitely has done some crazy, weird shit

Girls night with The Girls!! (And Neil, he’s an honorary member)

her friendship with Andrew (srsly i so hc them being friends..they’re both judgy rude bitches (in a good way) so there’s no way they’re not like..secretly watching shitty reality tv together)

Sorry about how long this is! Make sure to go eat and drink some water Nin :)

-💜💜✨

YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME bc now i just. want to write about them all so

I feel like Allison wouldn't tiptoe around the things Neil's been through or done. She's been straight up with him before about all of his lies and how she doesn't/didn't trust him, so I think if there's something on people's minds, she's not going to step around it or avoid the elephant in the room. If she's pissed, she'll tell him. If she doesn't understand something, she'll say it. But I think Neil would appreciate that more than knowing people are talking about him but won't just come up and ask him something themselves. It'd feel more normal if she addressed it, rather than just leaving a tension in the air/nobody feeling like they can joke about it or anything with him.

Some sort of sorbet. She used to say something like lemon, but truth be told her favourite is raspberry.

God, grief works weird. I think she cried. A lot. I think she spoke to Bee about him a lot, and I think every time she heard his name or saw his picture it was like she was finding out he was dead all over again. I think it was really, really hard for her. As much as they fought, as much as they broke up and got back together again, he was her rock. He was all she had, he knew her. She doesn't really have family to rely on, she can't call her mom or dad up to be like "My boyfriend died and it's destroying me". I think it was a very lonely time for her no matter how much the team insisted they were there for her. (I would worry about her recovery in the immediate aftermath of his death - I like to think that Abby was really looking after her for those first few weeks to keep her on track and make sure she was being safe and kind to herself)

Youre SO right with the juicy couture. That's just such a given when it comes to this series. Maybe she wore Abercrombie and Fitch too but i don't really know any other brands from 2006 oops

She's a bubblegum pop girly i think. Probably fucked with Avril Lavigne and Rihanna at the time. In my head she's a girls girl so Kylie, Britney, Fergie, P!nk and Beyonce. All the ladies like that.

I've mentioned my thoughts on her and Kevin before and how their relationship as friends develops post-TKM but as for the others. I think Dan, Matt and Nicky are the ones she's closest with, but the first one she'll call for advice is Renee. I feel like Nicky is literally like her gay best friend and they're ALWAYS arm-in-arm. If she needs someone to go shopping with it's always him. They're always bitching and gossiping. Her and Aaron aren't very close, especially considering the choking incident, but I feel like they still appreciate each other on the court and still with hug and congratulate each other when they do well. I don't know about her and Andrew either. That's a tricky one, also considering the choking thing, but I know she's also not afraid of him, either. She sees what he did for her after Seth's death, and so that have a sort of mutual respect, but I don't think they're exactly friends. I feel like her and Neil would be pretty good friends, but aren't exactly going out of their way to hang out with each other.

I LOVE how much she cares about Neil. I think he's cute to her. I think she literally wants to pinch his cheeks and cuddle him even though she knows everything about his past and what he is capable of. He has that Wesninski smile and she's like AWWWW

Like. Listen. I do feel like Allison can be NUTS. I feel like if she didn't restrain herself she's the kind of girl to key someones car for cheating on her or pop someones tyres because they catcalled her. She'd fight anyone on a night out to stick up for her friends, even if she's just about blackout drunk, she's ready to fight. I feel like she's had one of those movie moments on the court where she screams. Like you know what kind of scream I'm talking about. One of those movie girl screams. She can be a total cunt if she wants to be. But most of the time she doesn't

okay i want to write more about the last two but im trying so hard rn to clear my inbox and drafts because i feel like so many ppl think i'm ignoring them so i will leave you with these few thoughts on Allison <3

[dayurno]

any kevjean headcannons to share?

yes YES yes

i think jean is one of the few people (among neil, and occasionally andrew) who can actually make kevin laugh. he has very dry and dark humor and during their time at evermore he would often try to make kevin crack up during tetsuji's long team-wide sermons

they're one of the very few aftg ships i actually see doing the whole marriage thing. but saying marriage wouldn't be right either, because what they actually do is elope, and andrew was Very Mad when he found out

they have very intimate knowledge of each other's bodies! and yes, in the sexual sense, but i also mean this in a clinical way too. kevin specifically knows what its like to stitch jean's skin together, what pressure points to poke at to make his muscles twitch and relax, the crook of his fingers and the spots where kevin himself has splintered them, where jean aches after practice and what injuries still give him trouble

kevin is remarkably cool and uncaring when it comes to romance. jean is the only partner he's ever had that has made him feel jealous

they're absolutely MONSTROUS as a team!!!! jean does not often hang around the foxes, but the one time he and kevin paired up for beer pong in the foxes' company, they beat everyone else so badly they were disclassified on account of unfair privilege

they never truly lose that raven hivemind with each other, but it's not in the way you'd think. it's not hard to catch them doing or saying the exact same thing at the exact same time, sharing a task meant for one between the two of them, completing each other's sentences. yes it's scary. yes they're horror movie twins

they! can! only! play! piano! with! four! hands!

jean never actually gets along with wymack. as in-laws they're terrible. they can stand each other at their best, but can't be kept in the same room for long. this is not for any particular grudge; their personalities just clash. hence the elopement.

jean is very large but he is used to crouching down to make himself look smaller. this often ends with kevin patting his head absent-mindedly when he does something he approves of. even after jean loses the habit of trying to look shorter, he still lowers himself for the headpats

i have more but i will abstain because i just realized how long this is. theyre so crazy though. literally insane people. they make andreil look normal and well-adjusted

[thespineoftherighteous]

aftg headcanon: dan and andrew actually become friends in dans senior year

so idr if this is in the ec or not but i think the upperclassmen had a great time at edens twilight on halloween and they end up going out with the monsters on a semi-regular basis. nora never mentions it but i reckon edens has a really nice smoking area where neil and andrew will go out for a cig. this is nothing groundbreaking so far BUT my hc is that dan used to smoke in high school (like on break at the club with her sisters), and still occasionally will crash a cig off someone when shes drunk. so please join me in picturing a Very trashed dan wilds pleading with a bemused andrew to give her a cigarette

also i love the idea of when andrew actually starts caring abt exy he seeks dan out to talk to her abt the team, like things hes noticed abt the backline or whatever. the first time dan about jumps out her skin when andrew is waiting for her after class but then he just wants to tell her about a new backline strategy hes thought of

OOH GOOD STUFF

I'm such a slut for the foxes becoming closer, especially inter-upperclassmen/monsters relationships so this is right up my lane. I think the upperclassmen DO start going out with the monsters and while Andrew probably has no interest in becoming close with the upperclassmen, Dan is the one most desperate for closer connection so I think she'd make a point of trying to learn what needs to be done and how to approach Andrew in the way that he'll accept. and I think it takes some time and a lot of being played with by Andrew before it becomes not unusual for them to be comfortable spending time with each other.

anyway I keep going back and forth on whether dan would be a smoker because I feel like she'd be the type of athlete to hate smoking/drugs (maybe?) but honestly for sake of this hc, fuck it. I think it'd also amuse Andrew to see the lengths she'd go to to get into his good books.

obsessedddd with the last point specifically because I see that happening even more clearly. I think he'd even prefer going to dan over Kevin or Neil because I think there's still that piece that wants to fight exy, that still doesn't want to give them the satisfaction of seeing him enjoy it. but Dan will never be that important to him and she wouldn't see it as a big enough deal to draw attention to it.

maybe one time Andrew goes over to coach's place to annoy him and finds coach and dan drinking coffee and talking exy and Andrew makes a point of being uninvolved with the conversation, instead just walking around poking through coach's shit or making himself a shake with the ice cream that only he eats or pulling out all the books on coach's shelves. and then he settles himself on the floor with his shake still characteristically mute and looking bored until the conversation changes. but then the next day he meets Dan at her class or corners her after practice and says "here's why your strategy sucks: " and she's very startled that he was even paying attention enough to understand it, let alone to think about it for a whole day afterwards but she collects herself and goes back and forth with him and next time she's ready for it.

[captain-sunshine-11]

quicks cws// riko being riko, very vague mentions of dr@ke, aftg The Kings Men spoilers

--

Riko Moriyama was supposed to be the best, at least he thought so. If he wasn't supposed to be, then why did he come from a wealthy and powerful family? Why was he the best Striker in the game? Why did all those under him bend to his will?

It was all because of him, because he was made for greatness. And if that meant people like Kevin Day, Nathaniel Wesninski, and Jean Moreau had to ride his coattails? So be it, as long as they know their place. Riko makes sure of that, even.

Really all that was left for him was to get ahold of his father's attention, then, he could truly call himself worthy of all the rest. The fame, his profound leadership skills, his title as King. Riko knew he was no Ichirou, but he knows he could be better. He could feel it in his bones. His stupid Uncle, Tetsuji, may easily fall in line; but, Riko won't. He knows—right?—he knows that he was meant for more than the celebrity status, that he should have a place beside Kengo. It would be an honorary placement for him, because then, he would mean more to his father as he made Kengo proud. Riko made his mark away from his father, and he did it all by himself. No Kevin or fucking Wesninski to thank, it was all him.

Not even Ichirou with his grooming to become the next Boss could accomplish that.

He found Nathaniel Wesninski, god dammit! He found the red-headed bastard hiding away after he ran from Riko's clutches all those years ago. The coward was back in Riko's trustworthy and rightful hands. And after he proved himself to Kevin all those months ago and got away with it, things were shaping up for him... and if some goalkeeper had to get a little roughed up for it? Why not. All a part of the fun, he supposed.

But then... Kengo died. His father was gone and suddenly all of this planning was pointless. Unacceptable. He was not to blame, but those doctors were. And if the family up there was worth anything, the doctors would have been dealt with by now. It is why he had to beat up Jean, you see? Because Riko's hands cannot be dirtied with noticeable people right now. So Jean would have to do.

That Walker Bitch might have taken Jean from the Nest but there was no way he wouldn't get Jean back. He was Riko Moriyama dammit. A Moriyama, and if he had to make Ichirou look at him now, so be it. They were brothers, like Kevin and he were. Brothers stick together even after little lessons he had to teach. Brothers didn't leave each other behind, they had to crawl back to each other eventually.

In fact, if Riko finally meets Ichirou, then he must have an explanation that kept them apart. Then nothing would stop him from the recognition he deserves.

The last minute of the game is a blur, but he remembers the burning rage in his chest—"Id ask you how it feels, but I guess you've always known how it feels to be second–you worthless piece of shit!"—And for once he thinks that he should have put down this dog back at Evermore. Obviously, the Wesninski's could not be tamed. Why didn't Ichirou see that? Riko did. He certainly does now, standing above Nathaniel who wrongly wears that #10. Kevin and Nathaniel getting their marks removed was a poor choice he will make them regret later. Well, Kevin. Because he could barely feel his arms, but he knows his heavy racquet is headed for Nathaniel's incorrigible grin.

Somehow he is on the ground next and he can feel nothing except for a profound angry pain in his arm and throat.

The next couple hours, is nothing. It washes all past Riko as he tries to string together a coherent thought, but the pain killers haven't kicked in yet and he is being forced to the East Tower.

And–oh god–is that Ichirou? Riko isn't an idiot, so he refuses to reach out for his brother first. He is King, he won't resolve himself to that low of a gesture. Riko doesn't know why Nathaniel is here, but it hardly matters when Ichirou is coming to him, like Riko knew he would.

His Uncle leaned forward, submitting, but Riko knew he wouldn't have to. This was his brother. Tetsuji was worthless to Kengo, but if Riko just got to talk to Ichirou—

His brother crouches in front of him, and Riko thinks this is his chance. He starts to talk and meet Ichirou's eyes but then his brother holds his head in his palm. It was a gesture that not even Kevin had ever given him. Riko was right, his chance-

The last thing Riko Moriyama sees is the cold stare of another brother that failed him.