#but that would literally be me if they released a south park collab. so

[tegr1dy]

also regarding designer south park merch i wish there was a way i could single-handedly convince marc jacobs heaven to release a collection. i do have a tinfoil hat theory that teddy fresh is trying to collab because ive heard them reference specific episodes/moments from the show on their pod like 2-3 times over the past few months and i don’t even listen that much. could just be the fact that sp is trending big again in general but they’re always working with big iconic pop culture IPs so they had to have thought about it AT LEAST.

[honeymoonjin]

Please note, these works are mine. I won’t accept any translations (sorry, foreign language army) or cross-posting on accounts that aren’t mine. If you see a work of mine on Wattpad, it is not me. Please let me know so I can get it taken down. If you see a work of mine on AO3 under any account that isn’t honeymoonjin, it is not me and please let me know. The banners are not made by me, they are made by the incredibly talented @jamaisjoons​. Please do not read works marked with the crown ♔ for smut if you are a minor. These are intended for audiences 18 or above.

These fics are the b-side, my older works which I’m not as happy with as my newer stuff. I don’t want to delete them since some may still enjoy them, but I wanna start fresh with works I’m personally proud of on my main masterlist from now on, so these are the ones that didn’t make the cut.

♔ smut || ➴ angst || ✭ crack || ☯ fluff

〚 darlin’ 〛✭

❝ you’re an actress that needs to learn to ride a horse for your next role. jin’s the cowboy tasked with teaching you. ❞

〚 pine 〛☯

❝ you’ve been hiding your crush on your best friend jin for far too long now, but it turns out he feels the same. ❞

〚 transition 〛✭

❝ seokjin’s job as a grim reaper is to guide souls after they die, but you’re not interested in moving on just yet. ❞

〚 pasta la vista 〛✭

❝ in which you, a food critic, wonders how kim seokjin manages to stay in business, considering how terrible his food seems to be. alternatively, kim seokjin does not know how to flirt. ❞

〚 come dine with me 〛♔

❝ yoonji eating you out in the kitchen that is literally it. ❞

〚 daegu hold ‘em 〛☯

❝ yoongi loves spoiling his girl. you love having a sugar daddy. that’s called synergy. ❞

〚 baby fever 〛♔

❝ doctor min yoongi is your fertility specialist, but during the artificial insemination procedure he has some…unorthodox methods. ❞

〚 mi casa 〛☯

❝ when yoongi brings you home to spend the holiday season with his family, he finally realizes he’s in love with you. ❞

〚 curious ft kth 〛♔

❝ taehyung is unsure of his sexuality, and you and your boyfriend yoongi are only too happy to let him experiment with you. ❞

〚 땡 / ddaeng 〛✭

❝ when blackmailed by a sasaeng, you and yoongi decide to instead release a diss-track featuring audio from an illegally obtained video of the two of you having sex. ❞

〚 unravel 〛➴ ∙ ☯

❝ you just want yoongi to see himself the way you see him. ❞

〚 heavy 〛♔

❝ mafia leader hoseok is having problems with loyalty in his ranks. luckily, you’ll always be there for him to relieve a little stress when he needs it. ❞

〚 close enough 〛➴

❝ hoseok thinks you’re getting a little too close to the other members, and he’s sick of it. part two now available here! ❞

〚 us 〛☯

❝ amongst the publicity of being an idol, hoseok wants his proposal to be a private affair. ❞

〚 unwind 〛♔

❝ your boyfriend is about to give an important speech at the United Nations but isn’t handling pre-speech nerves too well. luckily, you know some ways to help him relax. ❞

〚 keyed up ft kth〛♔

❝ when your mutual roommate namjoon gets a little too strung out, you and taehyung offer to help relieve some tension. ❞

〚 hey mama 〛☯

❝ one-shot for mother’s day. you spend an evening in with namjoon and your two boys. ❞

〚 going up? 〛✭ ∙ ☯

❝ you didn’t expect to be trapped in a faulty elevator with the president of south korea, but it’s still preferable to having to take the stairs. ❞

〚 sick day 〛♔

❝ namjoon gets a week off work, but you don’t, and he’s starting to get a little frustrated. ❞

〚 tumble dry 〛♔

❝ when jimin overhears you confessing to jungkook that you want to ride his thighs, jimin allows you…on one condition. ❞

〚 radio silence 〛♔

❝ jimin wants to indulge in his exhibitionism kink on the grandest scale: while at the grammys. ❞

〚 appa 〛☯

❝ jimin comes home from tour to visit his newborn son for the first time. ❞

〚 breaking point 〛➴

❝ you don’t think you can continue being in a relationship with jimin anymore. ❞

〚 arrivals 〛➴

❝ things go wrong at the airport when jimin’s wife and daughter accompany bts on a flight. ❞

〚 keyed up ft knj〛♔

❝ when your mutual roommate namjoon gets a little too strung out, you and taehyung offer to help relieve some tension. ❞

〚 roomie 〛✭

❝ falling in love with your cell mate isn’t generally advisable. ❞

〚 confessions of love are best done sober 〛➴ ∙ ☯

❝ kim taehyung used to be your best friend in primary school, but he’s changed into a completely different person. while you drink yourself into oblivion at a party, he has something to tell you. ❞

〚 itty-bitty 〛☯

❝ after finally moving in with your just-married husband, you have some more exciting news to tell him. ❞

〚 curious ft myg 〛♔

❝ taehyung is unsure of his sexuality, and you and your boyfriend yoongi are only too happy to let him experiment with you. ❞

〚 green room 〛♔

❝ jungkook isn’t happy with how you acted while he was on stage. ❞

〚 high-rise 〛☯

❝ getting locked out on a rooftop when you’re meant to be going on stage in five minutes is less than ideal, but luckily Jungkook has his girlfriend to keep him company. ❞

〚 shark week 〛✭ ∙ ☯

❝ when you get your period while at a restaurant with your boyfriend and the rest of bts, you just want to grin and bear it, but jungkook seems determined to show off to his hyungs how supportive he is. ❞

〚 the name game 〛✭ ∙ ☯

❝ jungkook likes to think he’s a genius at coming up with baby names. you, his heavily pregnant girlfriend, would have to disagree. ❞

〚 roll credits 〛☯

❝ after a string of misfortunes and troubles, you find yourself crying your eyes out in a movie theater. luckily, the cute usher wants to make sure you didn’t miss the film. ❞

〚 the daily grind 〛☯

❝ jeon jungkook has a crush on the girl that comes to the coffee shop he works at, but she’s too invested in her studying to even give him a second glance. ❞

〚 makin’ monet 〛✭

❝ jungkook’s attention is caught by his roommate taehyung’s odd collection of fake paintings, and he’s determined to find the painter. part two available here. ❞

〚 love yourself: the collab 〛✐ ∙ ♔ ∙ ➴ ∙ ☯

❝ twenty-six authors, twenty-six songs. a collab me and @/jeonau created to celebrate the one year anniversary of lya. each song (plus four bonus tracks) has its own fic. ❞

⇥ masterlist here

⇥ pairings: several, at least one of every member x reader

〚 roll deep 〛✐ ∙ ♔

❝ six one-shots, pornstar au. ❞

⇥ masterlist here

⇥ pairings: one of each member x reader, yoonji x reader

〚 wouldst thou like to live deliciously? 〛✐ ∙ ♔ ∙ ➴

❝ jimin is sick of being a virgin, and the pressure of the first time with a girl, so he decides to summon a sex demon to get it over with. ❞

⇥ masterlist here

⇥ pairings: jimin x reader, namjoon x reader, yoongi x reader

〚 cum!bts 〛♔ ∙ ✭

❝ in the newest run! episode, the members compete to see which of them can make you orgasm the fastest. ❞

⇥ masterlist here

⇥ pairings: one of each member x reader

〚 sovereign 〛✐ ∙ ♔ ∙ ➴

❝ when you hear that your recently deceased grandmother left you her property in her will, at first you think that a dinky old cottage in the middle of nowhere isn’t going to mean much for you. but after spending a night there, you discover something far more valuable than the house itself: a hidden door that leads to another time, the same place but over 200 years in the past. in the late 18th century, there is a king who will die before his 21st birthday unless you can save him. will you help him, even if it means leaving your own life behind? ❞

⇥ masterlist here

⇥ pairings: jimin x reader, jungkook x reader

〚 lost in translation 〛✐ ∙ ➴ ∙ ☯

❝ you decide to uproot your life completely and move to korea to help teach english at a primary school. ❞

⇥ season one masterlist here

⇥ pairings: none so far

〚 seven 〛➴ ∙ ☯

❝ life with seven boyfriends isn’t always a walk in the park, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. ❞

⇥ part one || part two || part three

⇥ pairings: ot7 x reader

〚 dul, set 〛☯

❝ work can be tough. at least you have two boyfriends to come home to. ❞

⇥ part one || part two

⇥ pairings: hoseok x reader x yoongi

〚 spotlights 〛✭ ∙ ☯

❝ a fully interactive (~50 parts, 21 different endings) bts fic. you’ve been seated next to bts at a televised award show. will you end the night with a boyfriend or with a disaster? each member has 1 positive ending and 2 negative ones. ❞

⇥ entry post here

⇥ pairings: one of each member x reader

〚 enjoy your stay 〛 ♔ ∙ ➴

❝ working the graveyard shift at a hotel isn’t the most exciting job in the world, but your coworkers are certainly happy to have you here. ❞

⇥ masterlist here

⇥ pairings: jin x reader, jungkook x reader

〚 런닝맨 방탄 - running man bangtan 〛 ♔

❝ you and the other seven members of the popular variety show running man celebrate your 100th episode by completing various missions. ❞

⇥ part one || part two || part three

⇥ pairings: taehyung x reader, hoseok x reader x yoongi

[ziontdaily]

[INTERVIEW] Zion.T, the Korean Singer-Songwriter You Need to Know

Discussing his new album & YG’s first-ever SM collab.

If you have the slightest interest in K-Pop, you have heard of YG Entertainment. Musical acts with wide (and sometimes obsessive) international fandom have come out of YGE, like Big Bang, 2NE1, and PSY to name a few. If those were the first “fashionably cool” wave of K-Pop artists to receive fame and praise in the West, there’s been a second wave of new musicians that are eagerly taking over the global stage. The likes of BTS, Blackpink, Jay Park, HYUKOH, and XXX are gaining more traction outside of their homeland, paving their way into the hearts and eardrums of listeners abroad. Among them stands Zion.T, hailing from The Black Label, YGE’s subsidiary fronted by executive producer Teddy. While Zion.T may sound unfamiliar to some, he’s far from a rookie. With almost 10 years of experience producing and performing, he’s one of the most seasoned veterans in the South Korean music industry, harnessing a staggering 90 songs under his belt. His distinctly tender voice and lighthearted (but powerful) R&B sound have come to define the region’s genre. Unfortunately, he isn’t putting out music for the international market just yet, but fortunately, he plans to. So we highly suggest you get to know him. 

Your song “Hello Tutorial,” which released last month, was the first-ever collaboration between YG and SM Entertainment. How did it happen? Why did you choose Seulgi as the featuring artist? I am a fan of her group, Red Velvet. I wanted to work with her as her fan. It’s my first time liking a girl group, and since I record music, I thought I wanted to record this feeling. It was difficult at first, but I kept on knocking at their door. It was hard to get SM on board, but once I did, the process was smooth, with her even starring in my music video. Seulgi helped me out a lot. I would like to help her in the future as well. I didn’t intend to open up this “YG x SM” thing for the first time, but the world works in strange ways. What about Esens? It was his first major featuring in years. You can say Seulgi, Esens and Hyukoh, who featured in my most recent album, “ZZZ,” are all at the top of their respective fields. They can do things I cannot do and they have these strengths that I do not possess. It is great fun for me as a producer for their different voices to be on my beats. With Hyukoh, it took forever to work with him. It was hard to set a time to meet. It took him two weeks to respond to my “how are you?” text. But jokes aside, he’s like a star, literally. Because stars are there long before you can actually see them shine. He’s like that.

The song “Sleep Talk” was recorded right from Hyukoh’s test guide. Did you have any other lyrics in mind? I didn’t feel the need to write lyrics because Hyukoh was very open to making them himself. Which artist are you looking forward to collaborating with in the future? I plan on meeting a lot of foreign artists in Japan and America. Producers, rappers, singers, everyone. I don’t want to mention who because I’d like it to be a surprise. Sorry, but you can look forward to it. You have said “Hello Tutorial” is like a good romantic comedy movie. How would you compare your real love life to a movie genre? It’s like a thriller sometimes. I haven’t had many ups and downs in life, but looking back, all of the big events in my life had to do with love. So I think you could say drama. Or a documentary. 

What genre would you call this album? I wanted it to be a documentary, but it turned out to be a romantic comedy. What is the story behind your songs? When I look at my music, most people would say they are like their children. But for me, my songs are more like cups, plates, or furniture that I would make. They all have these flaws and could have been more sophisticated, detailed. Or more rough and bold. But you can cherish a piece of work like that and shatter it, discard it the next second because you can just make them again. I just think, “I can put water in this one, or use this as a salad bowl,” instead of praising or being attached to them so much. 

For me, my songs are more like furniture that I would make. They all have these flaws and could have been more sophisticated, detailed. 

Drake recently broke The Beatles’ Billboard record with 12 songs in their Top 10 charts. Drake also has more than 10 Billboard record titles. If you could break one of his records, which would it be? I don’t want to break any of his records. I just want some certificate, maybe in cleaning. There’s this certificate in Korea called an “Organizer Certification.” It’s for folding the laundry, washing the dishes, or cleaning the floor. I’m not good at cleaning. This is the area I need to break through, not breaking someone else’s musical record or jumping over their career. I don’t want to live that way. I just want to be a musician and clean my house. And maybe I can break a record along the way. 

I just want to be a musician and clean my house. And maybe I can break a record along the way.

As a musician, how do you feel about the Korean market where reality TV programs like “Show Me The Money” are sweeping the charts? It’s fun. There’re a lot of players in this field. “SMTM” has played the biggest role in democratizing hip hop in Korea. I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all to use it to build your career. As a viewer, it’s interesting to see some rappers come back and try again after they’ve been eliminated the previous season. And the real competition starts after the show has ended. 

You use the expression “player” often when describing musicians. I think they are very similar. Musicians are like athletes. We have to rest after running, and strategize while we rest. We have to run more effectively the next time. Some players are their own trainers. If you’re not in a good team, your career span gets that much shorter. Recently, I have been feeling the importance of the team that you are a part of. I think it’s very meaningful to shoot at a sports stadium today. I asked my stylist to prepare an outfit of an athlete or a coach. Nowadays, musicians have to be it all. I think it’s getting more fun as time goes on. What is the biggest misconception that people have of you, if any? I’m a producer, but when you search for me in a search engine, I come up as a singer. People don’t look carefully at the whole creation, but I guess it would be too much to ask them to acknowledge everything. I am a singer, but firstly I make music and express myself musically in different ways. I would like people to view me more as a brand. You wouldn’t judge a seasonal collection just by looking at one outfit. I would like people to have a wider perspective and give me more diverse feedback. How would you describe your music to those who may not know you yet? People might think, “who’s this Asian guy with the weird name?” But I would just like to ask, if you come across me somehow, please give me your attention.

SOURCE HYPEBEAST KR INTERVIEWER YEJENE HA PHOTOGRAPHER SEUNG HOON JEONG STYLIST WOOK HAIR/MAKEUP MIZANGWON BY TAEHYUN

[corasohn]

hey again :))) just catching up on things i was mentioned in sooo this one is the 11 q’s tag and its going under a read more since a few ppl tagged me :-o ! so @bakchangg @artfulkey @dearestjonghyun & @tuuzmorado thank you for tagging me 💗💓💗💞💗💕💕💞💗  

bakchangg’s questions

what was the last song you deliberately put on to listen to? peekaboo :3

what do you celebrate at the end of the year, if anything? nothing tbh we just watch the countdown and drink lol

movies or tv shows? tv shows

space or ocean? space !!!

do you have a favorite shirt? yes!!!! i love my girl power shirt or girls supporting girls shirt orrrr my black v neck

last game you played? uhhhh uncharted 

did you eat breakfast today? no :///

what is your opinion on socks? theyre nice i love the fuzzy ones in winter and i have pokemon/kpop/sailor moon/animal socks as well so!

whats something you absolutely hate? uncooked onions. godless.

do you think you read fast? kinda but i tend to re read if i go too fast cause then i cant fully understand, you know???

rain or snow? R A I N

bella’s questions

How much sleep do you get? What do you do when you can’t sleep? i dont get alot tbh i tend to stay up and overthink like many others ._. so i actually listen to my nighttime playlist or watch/listen to yoongis vlives/album reviews. His voice really lulls me to sleep soooo !! thanks yoong ^^ 

What’s your best feature (physical or mental)? my eyes/lips and how open minded i am, but ofc theres probably things im still closed minded about. So slowly im learning/understanding more

What are the top 3 things you admire about your bias and why? which.. one bella.... lmao ok uhmmm ill just go with onew. i admire how considerate he is and how he takes the role of being the oldest/leadr very seriously ;; i adore his understanding towards specific topics that are hard to discuss and his personality is just- he really makes sure youre ok and will always have a shoulder to cry on/friend to depend on :’) idk... hes my first bias and will always be number 1 tbh i just really love him. i want.. i need him to be happy. as long as he’s happy, i am too.

If you could tell your bias anything what would you say? @ namjoon, wear a dangly earring asshol*!!!!!

Whats an album that you haven’t listened to for a while but will always hold a special place in your heart? probably shinees hello or year of us. for hello, lucifer era was when i discovered shinee and hello is still my fav era. and for year of us i just.. really love y.o.u and it was a song that i had on repeat for  s u c h  a long time!!

Why do you study/work in the area that you do? right now im just attending college and just doing my best lol

If someone wanted to befriend you, what should they do/say? just say hi ghfjhdk you can literally talk to me about anything. me & @mimisgf became friends from talking about harry potter and the houses kjhgfkd not even kpop lmao. but then we discussed who in nct would belong in what house haha so yeah just send a message about anything really!

Out of the people that you know irl or online, who is the most similar to your bias and why? no one really lol but, me and my cousins/sisters just joke about my one cousin whos a virgo saying like “wow, you’re really like joon.. he’d do this...” “virgo antics” “you’re just as clumsy as joon lmao ” stuff like that but shes like “lol i know.” 

If you could drastically change one thing about your life with no negative consequences what would you change? my mom grandma/grandpa to talk to us in spanish and english ._. my mom wanted us to be bilingual or tri but my grandpa told her we didnt need to learn spanish and that we should just know english so... yeah.. ://

You have the opportunity to spend the day with your bias in your hometown. What do you do/where do you go with them? well for all 3 its the same but, specifically for nam i’d take him to this one huge parking lot that you can see a really nice view of the city or this tall hill in south sf with a great view as well ^^

Post a selfie (of yourself or your bias) that you love. :-)))))) this is a fav. its the first pic i saved of him :-D (wait. let me just say rn i emailed the pic to paste it in here & i expected to see only that pic but there was another one sent with it jhgfjldhf plssss wtf i didnt even choose the other one lmao😂😂😂😂  ill put the other one too... why not.)

[look at this loser. cutie ._.]

jenny’s questions

Who is your bias kpop group and when did you discover them? SHINee/Bangtan ! shinee, i discovered them when the lucifer mv literally dropped lol. And i found bts when no more dream mv was released. But i did see/watched that video of them acting crazy in their old studio where they always released their diary logs many times but i just didnt know how to search for them back then lol

What is your favourite hair colour on your bias? Provide example/s I will enjoy them. if youre a fan of pinkmon well.. :)))))) if not, welp, you are now! 

ok the last one doesnt really do justice but LISTEN!! its pinkmon.!

3. Who are your favourite vocalists? jonghyun ;; and luna ! 4. Favourite female soloist for research purposes… suran hyuna sunmi and ailee!!! dont make me pick only one :((( 5. When did you first get into kpop? 2009 but officially in 2010 6. Do you consider yourself a part of many fandoms? not really tbh, i mean, i stan but im not really part of alot of fandoms.. 7. Favourite none kpop hobby? i like to read up on astrology  8. What is the best book you’ve ever read? Why? probably the book of birthdays. ngl. it has so much info on zodiac signs and it tells you about your birth number, health, and realtionships with others ^^ 9. Is there any piece of art that means something special to you? i dont have one at the moment but i hope one day ill find one. art in general is really inspiring and beautiful. 10. Have you traveled outside your home country before? Where would you want to go? i have not, sadly T.T but id like to go to mexico or japan :D or soemwhere in europe! 11. If you could live in any other time, when would you? im actually ok with the time im in now haha i dont really wanna experience the past/future tbh.

lu’s questions

1. Post one of your most loved pictures of your bias and say what you like about the picture. 

ok it took forever to find it but its not really this picture... its another one, but in a different angle. Anyways this is one of my fav pics of namjoon cute :3 

2. Post one picture of your female bias and explain what made her your bias.

tbh it was both of these pictures that made me bias her even more but joy is my bias ever since i watched their 1st appearance on weekly idol. i thought id bias wendy when they debuted but its joy :D 3. If you could pick 6 idols to make a collaboration who would you pick and what song? hmmm i actually just wanted a btshinee collab but with more members this time ;; but i also would like to see rapline with stray kids rapline aka 3racha! and the song would be self-made. i would like to see what type of song theyd create together! ^^ like chan and namjoon working on song and changbin with yoongi sharing their lyrics with each other while hobi and jisung discuss the flow of the rap and more. it would be nice to see bts rapline give pointers/advice basiaclly share their wisdom with the kids :’) 4. What song was the catchiest for you this year? peekaboo 5. You favorite hair color in your biases (male and female)? Post pictures! refer to the picture of dark haired nam and icc era of joy lol those are my fav hair colors on them (but pinkmon is also a fav...) 6. Where would you travel for your dream vacation? mexico, somewhere in europe or in asia! 7. In your opinion what comeback was underrated? tell me what to do/just one day :((((( 8. What’s your favorite food? i... love all food.... 9. From your favorite kpop album this year, which song would you have picked as a title track or a second promotional track? bangtans gogo as a second promotional track tbqh!!! idk for a title track... dna was good. 10. What’s your favorite choreography of a girl group this year? hhhhhhhhh twice likey <3 11. Taemin’s MOVE or Sunmi’s Gashina? XDDDDDD BOTH!!!!!!! i cant choose o n e

thank you all for mentioning me ^^ & here are my questions:

Favorite outfit on your bias from any era ^^ pls put a few pics :D

A song or a video that helps you sleep?

What idol interation did/do you want last/this year?

Is there a favorite cover song you like from your fav group(s)?

What color do you think your bias looks the best in?

Top 5 songs that you have been listening to non stop in 2017?

If someone in your fav group can go solo or start a unit, who would you want it to be?

Any songs you want to rec others to listen to (kpop/non-kpop)?

Top 10 blogs you enjoy seeing on tumblr?

Your opinion on drop earrings/ripped jeans/chokers?

Whats one goal you wish to accomplish for 2018?  

i tag: @zorizo @jhopesesposa @jungjaehyu @petalhero @jjongcakes @jjongeyed​ @dksangel​ @peachyungwons​ @jenniesgaygf​ @kebinwooo​ @spiedermans​ @fleur-de-jinki​ @tofnew​ @officialexo​ @shuaday​ @oboreruknife​ @sehunstiddies-l​ @oddtape​

[nobiscuits]

kpop blog sample (best of 2016 - incomplete)

(paragraph now irrelevant) Don’t worry, I’m aware that this is a bit late and that we’re almost a whole month into 2017. I’m aware that every other best-of-2016 list was published weeks ago (months ago, for those people who don’t count the last two weeks of a year as being in the year for some reason – which is ridiculous: what if the historically acknowledged BEST THING EVER comes out on December 29th and it’s NOT recorded in your best-of list for that year and you’re ostracized from the Annual-Best-Ofs-List-Writers Association and you lose all your ranking street cred and have to move back in with your parents, huh? Was it really worth all that just to reach a deadline or whatever?)

Taking that all into account, I’ve decided that January 20th is the perfect day to write this list (I’ve been deliberating over the winners for a grueling few weeks) because a new person is currently being sworn into the most powerful position in the world and my office is dealing with this by serving liquor at 9AM and then marathoning the Harry Potter movies, so as far as I can tell, no one is particularly concerned that I might be thinking and writing about Korean Pop music instead of putting together another competitive power point. Not that I’ll announce it, but considering the VP just spilled beer on her computer watching a Quidditch match, I think whatever I’m doing is probably fine.

I’m of the opinion that it’s borderline impossible to rank songs and releases concisely, so my system is in no actual order from best to MOST BEST or anything like that. Instead, these are my favorite 10-ish releases/singles in 2016, why I think that, and a superlative about them that made them stand out to me. So if your faves aren’t number one, please don’t send me death threats (side-eyeing you here, ARMY) because I’m nobody important and there isn’t even a number one and I didn’t even write them in a particular order. Now that it’s in writing that I’m scared of ARMY, without further ado: The Most Best of 2016.

Kisum – No Jam

Released Jun 22, 2016

“Most Slept-On Song”

Uh, more like Yes Jam?? One of my favorite rappers to come out of UPRS (South Korean rap elimination show, bafflingly called Un-Pretty Rap Star despite most of the contestants looking something like this) , Kisum’s fun and light style of spitting rapid-fire, upbeat and energetic advice like “steal your mom’s car keys and let your friends hop on” fits perfectly with the upbeat piano-driven boogie, shouts and chatting in her track. A repeated, yell-able English hook bumps up my enjoyment of any k-pop song exponentially; having it be in English but make NO SENSE is even better and you’re a liar if you say you weren’t chanting along to “NO JAM NO JAM NO JAM NO! OKAY OKAY OKAY” after the first chorus. “No jam” is a phrase used in Korean slang to indicate someone being no fun, boring, or terrible on variety shows (the greatest of sins). I have actually refused to look up the origin of the phrase because I want to believe it originated from my husband BTS’ Rap Monster telling his group mate, Jimin, that he’s “got no jams” on their way to LA (I also highly recommend watching the video from the beginning to hear perhaps the cutest pronunciation of “extra-terrestrials” ever recorded). But let’s get back to Kisum before I turn this article into “top ten times I wanted to jump Rapmon”. “No Jam” didn’t do particularly well in Korea; Kisum didn’t promote it on music shows (there’s 4 or 5 broadcasts a week where artists perform their recent releases – think Korean TRL if TRL wasn’t the worst), which I understand as the fun of the song (and the music video) is its chant-along, casual, have-a-beer-on-your-rooftop-with-your-attractive-friends summer vibe that wouldn’t be super compatible with the slick-black-stage-and-strobe-lights feeling of music shows. Despite not charting super well domestically, the video only 2million views on youtube, which is still pretty damn good for an un-promoted track from a non-winner of UPRS, but by no means great. As far as I can tell, I’m responsible for about 500k of those views, as even international fans seem to have forgotten about the track, which makes it my “Most Slept-On” award winner for 2016.

Younha – Get It? (Ft. HA:TFELT, CHEETAH)

Released Jun 12, 2016

“Collab of The Year/Girl-Power Of the Year”

Internationally popular power-vocalist Younha sets a new precedent for collaborations and bad-bitches all at once with this incredible song featuring Yenny of the massively popular Wonder Girls (her stage name as a solo artist is the baffling HA:TFELT for some reason, I don’t know) and UPRS Season 1 winner, Cheetah. The song has a killer synth base that plows into a rock-y, poppy and upbeat 80s sound and layers the vocalists’ three unique sounds into a punchy, girl-rock chorus based around the line “you say you’re innocent and I’m fuckin’ crazy”, using the censor sound as a part of the instrumental. In general, actually, this song has probably my favorite English of the year: besides “I’m fucking crazy” and “you better watch out” in the chorus, Yenny purring “just beg for mercy” is overwhelmingly fine, and Cheetah’s rap includes the line “Catch me if you can? Fuck boi, I’m Frank Abagnale”. The music video continues the 80s girl-band feel, where certified bad-bitches Yenny and Cheetah teach tiny, innocent Younha how to be one of them, wear fishnets, apply neon makeup, and disregard men. The song didn’t do particularly well domestically or internationally; the ladies not promoting it and Yenny not using her actual name probably hurt its chances. K-Pop seems to be coming back around on inter-label collaborations after years of sectionalized stagnation, so I’m hoping that other tracks like this continue to be produced, because the world needs more bad-bitches standing together, rolling their eyes and more Yenny holding a lollipop.

Red Velvet – Russian Roulette

Released September 6, 2016

“Best Music Video”

If I’d written a Most Best of 2015, SM’s youngest girl group, Red Velvet, would’ve had the best music video with their incredibly produced and performed colorful, visual stunner and musical banger, Dumb Dumb. If I’d written a Most Best of the first half of 2016, the award would go to Red Velvet’s haunting ballad (and subtle tribute to the Sewol Ferry Disaster), One of the These Nights. BUT I wrote neither of those. Fortunately, ReVel has my back and released ANOTHER visually fascinating, hella aesthetic video along with a 100% certified bop. Musically, I actually prefer some of their earlier tracks and found Russian Roulette’s album a little disappointing, especially compared to their incredibly stacked first full album, The Red, released in 2015. The song is still a blast, and I definitely rock out to it, but what gets this on my list is the music video: the girls are tricked out in the bizarre outfits, geometric hairstyles, and aesthetic makeup that have become associated with Red Velvet and dance and sing to the cutesy, sweet song with their trademarked creepy non-smiles. Compared to Dumb Dumb’s bright, contrasting colors, Russian Roulette is muted and pastel, replacing slap-bands with frills and trippy 90s geometric transitions to Strawberry Shortcake-esque borders and Itchy and Scratchy animations. The video starts out innocuous enough, but within the first minute, it changes from a cutesy 80s-tennis-players aesthetic to a cutesy-80s-tennis-players TRY TO MURDER EACH OTHER aesthetic. The sinister undertone grows and grows as the stone-faced girls’ pranks escalate to fatal: Seulgi drops a fridge on Joy via Rube-Goldberg machine, Yeri feeds her members nuts and bolts instead of cereal, Wendy lights Seulgi’s sweater on fire and pushes Yeri into a drained swimming pool, Joy and Yeri bury Irene in tennis balls, Irene and Seulgi push Wendy’s bed in front of a speeding car, Seulgi and Wendy drop a piano on Joy and Irene, and the four girls team up to knock a row of lockers on Seulgi. You know, normal tennis camp stuff. The girls have stated that the murder-pranks are because they’re all in love with the same man, but in my PERSONAL view, because that’s stupid, it’s just how tennis is played in Korea.

Jonghyun – She Is

Released May 23rd, 2016

“Best OohAhhs” / “Best Misheard English”

This would obviously be a top 10 release just for being the day before my birthday, but fortunately, it has merits on its own as well. Jonghyun, the lead vocal of K-Pop super group, Shinee (no wait, their name is super cute: like how the person who gives a gift is the gifter and the one who receives it is the giftee, they’re the ones who receive the shine! Come on, that’s cute as fuck.) Jonghyun debuted as a solo artist a few years ago, and is known for his soulful, powerful vocals, powerful abs, and powerfully open-mind. In the past, his solos have been more soulful or ballad style; “She Is” is his first fully fun, fully funky release, and it knocks it out of the park. This song is such an unusual groove that I actually literally have no idea how to describe it. Just watch it. The second reason it’s on the list is that the English in this song is phenomenal. The chorus is “Oh, she is” but sounds like Jonghyun is exclaiming “Oh, SHIZ” before ooh-ahhing like a pro, putting this on level with “I don’t wanna cry, destroy my ass” for innocuous-English-misheard-as-profanity. The other stellar English line is when Jonghyun interjects, “I like this bridge”…not really during the bridge of the song, at all, nor while standing on or near a bridge. It’s wonderful, and the way he sort of purrs the sentence has become an excellent addition to my observations, and I appreciate bridges much more. Thanks, Jonghyun, and I’m sorry I can’t pronounce your name.

Bulletproof Boyscouts – Blood Sweat & Tears

Released October 9th, 2016

“Best ‘Comeback”

A unique and rather confusing aspect of K-Pop for Westerners is that every time a group returns to promote a new release, they refer to it as a “comeback”, despite the group not disbanding or quitting or anything. I’ve decided to recognize BTS for not just their song or their music video or their Rap Monster, but for the comeback as a whole. BTS stands for Bangtan Sonyeodan, which means Bangtan Boys, and Bangtan can be translated to “bulletproof” and therefore “Bulletproof Boyscouts” is not only a hilarious name for a group, it is a perfectly acceptable translation. One of my all-time favorite groups (I just spent pretty much ALL of my money buying pit tickets for their show in Chicago), BTS are massively popular both domestically and internationally; this music video is currently sitting at 82 MILLION views on youtube right now since its release 3 months ago, and they’ve sold out multiple shows in the US. Other than making it now possible to watch “a BTS BST BTS”, Blood Sweat & Tears wins comeback of the year for several reasons other than featuring Rapmon repeatedly pronouncing “realm” as “rehl-um” and daring to look at the camera like this. The hype for the comeback started roughly a month before, and featured seven individual short films, each starring one of the members and using samples of their solos from the album. The films included references to their previous trilogy of interconnected music videos, collectively called “The Most Beautiful Moment in Life”, and leading to hundreds and thousands of interpretations and theories shared and postulated among fans as they tried desperately to understand how the two universes connect (although let’s be real HYYH [Chinese title of TMBMiL] is about the boys learning how to deal after Jin dies, adoyee) and what the parallels meant for BST. Instead of a grand connection between the two, BST took its own route and introduced us to a dramatic, sexy, and almost Latin-insfired jam accented by visuals of opulence, temptation, and formal pajamas as it relates car door guy’s descent into temptation to the eponymous character of Herman Hesse’s bildungsroman, Damien, succumbing to the charms of the fallen angel Abraxes. Surprisingly heady stuff for a k-pop video, but what else can you expect from the group whose leader is a mensa member (pictured here far left). Other than the wonderful story and visuals, the era also gave us Jin kissing V and Rapmonster and V recreating it, and there is nothing more perfect and good in the world.