#but that still doesnt solve the prroblem of that fucking cervical xray that may answer all these questions...

[ritualvirtuality]

hate how every time i start to regularly experience/notice a new symptom i go from awareness to doubt so quickly as soon as i start to look into things... i KNOW (bc i identified this pattern before i even looked things up) that the pain originates at the base of my skull and spreads over my head/scalp and that it hurts behind and around my eyes at least some of the time and that when its at its worst im light and sound sensitive... but as soon as it becomes regular it integrates into my 'normal' and i start to go 'oh well its nothing'. and then i try to research it and i start to go 'im making this up for attention' or i discount parts of the experience bc theyre variable or only happen at the worst times. doesnt even matter what it is. this pattern has fucked me my entire life and im so tired of it...