#but that last bit.....proper banter

[jtownraindancer]

So anyway as far as I'm concerned, Andy Davidson and Owen Harper were boyfriends. ✌🏻

[ssahotchnerr]

hi babe! was wondering if you could write something abt hotch + reader having their daughter’s first birthday and all of the team is there and it’s so cute and we get big brother jack.

maybe it including light bickering between them but it’s so clear they love each other so much still and it really is just pointless bickering. something fluffy for sure.

up to you! i trust your wonderful writing , thank u bunches !

- 🕷️ [is this anon emoji taken yet? oops if it is!]

take the bench

AHH that's so adorable 🥹 cw; fem!reader, jack calls reader mom, domestic banter <3 and aaron being very dad <3

"are you kidding, look how cute!" you exclaimed, holding up the little outfit for all to see. your daughter's tiny hands immediately made a grab at it. "this is perfect for spring."

"after two boys, i can't express enough how fun it is shopping for a girl." jj gushed, resting her chin comfortably on her hand. "new section of the store unlocked."

all had gathered for baby girl's very first birthday, and it's been quite the eventful afternoon. lively conversations, a plentiful spread of food, cake on the horizon.

currently your daughter was sat comfortably on your lap, while you orchestrated the whole present-opening extravaganza.

at her young age, she could pull the tissue paper out of the gift bags as instructed, you and jack helped with the actual paper ripping as needed. whether it was you tearing off a starter piece, or jack proudly fulfilling his big brother duties - simply unwrapping it entirely himself and excitably showing his sister what she had received.

and meanwhile, aaron had the most dad job: trash bag duty. it was right up his alley naturally, being sure to punctually collect the scraps of paper before they touched the ground; preventing a mess at all costs.

which ultimately, led up to a new game.

"jack," aaron grabbed his son's focus, holding the bag open and jack caught on instantly. he grinned, balling up and throwing the tissue paper in hand in aaron's direction.

it started off gentle; quiet cheers when jack made the shot, not to mention the growing smiles on both ends. but then it soon turned into them firing off at each other, a bit too aggressive in the constraints of the living room. jack's laughter heightened with each throw, and henry even began to join in from time to time.

while still enamored by the gifts, all thanks to her brother and father's volume, baby girl's attention was quickly drawn to them. she let out a high pitched squeal every time wrapping paper flew over her head and through the air, attempting to wiggle her way off your lap.

as much as you loved aaron and jack carelessly enjoying themselves, and the addictive giggles emitting from your daughter, you also didn't want to take the focus away from everyone's generous gifts. they had spent time, and money, and deserved the proper recognition in return.

"aaron." you warned lightly, raising an eyebrow when his gaze shot to yours - a silent, but loving nonetheless, quit it.

"alright bud," aaron caught the last makeshift ball from jack with his hand, shoving it into the trash. "take the bench. the ref is giving me that look."

"but dad-"

"you heard me. and your mother."

jack let out a small whine, but promptly complied. he returned to the stack of his sister's presents, shifting through and looking for the next one to give her.

"for someone on clean up duty, you sure are making quite the mess." you teased once you caught aaron's eyes again, jack placing the next gift in front of you, "a larger one, if i may add."

"mess isn't in my vocabulary." aaron quipped right back, a delightfully smug look on his face. "you shouldn't be the one talking."

you cocked your head to the side, comically, "oh?"

"who's side of the closet is currently exploding?"

"who's sock drawer has seen better days?"

"the parents are fightingggg." derek stretched out his voice, murmuring humorously under his breath and nudging penelope with an elbow. while the soft tone, his statement was for all to hear.

now, it was your turn to (lightly, as to not jostle baby girl) chuck a ball of wrapping paper at him. derek ducked, barely, laughing loudly as he straightened his posture back upright.

"good try, but not good enough mamas. you gotta work on your aim."

"see, i'm not making a mess." aaron teased as he came near to grab it off the carpet, taking a detour as well to give your lips a quick peck. "you have that title perfectly under control, darling."

you playfully rolled your eyes, a smile dancing its way onto your lips. aaron couldn't resist the sight, kissing you once more. "oh bite me, hotchner."

[achrams]

𝐎𝐤𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐨, 𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐭 𝐮𝐩.

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: On your trip to get familiar with the area, Ethan decides to be annoying and you show him his place.

𝐂𝐰: Jealous Ethan tries to get the two of you caught mid act.

To everyone’s surprise Ethan behaved rather well for the rest of the ride and upon making it to the campsite it was as if nothing had happened just a few hours ago. Walking out the bus that had you all crammed together in a, to you, comically small seat had you letting out a sigh and stretch of relief. Trying to get all the kinks out of your body before familiarising yourself with the place.

With the fresh air hitting your nose, came a sense of freedom. You and all your classmates would be enjoying the quietness and adventures this forest holds. While some people were busy rushing to stand by the bus, taking the various bags and suitcases from the luggage compartment, you decided to look around the area. Until most people had got their stuff, that is.

Taking note of the wooden buildings- a larger community house in the middle, a teacher’s and guide’s cabin and a bit further out the smaller cabins that were to fit this class. From the small talk you overheard from the teachers when on the way here, each cabin holds around 4 people total. So you’d likely spend the room with Ethan and 2 others. Hopefully people you actually knew better than as a ‘classmate’.

Taking your eyes off the buildings for a moment and putting your attention on the scenery instead. Tall and dark trees all around you create a calm and protected feeling in your chest. Small and rugged rocky trails going through the forest, leading to all sorts of mysteries- a lake and a sauna right by it, a nice fire pit for midnight talks and last but not least the activities you all would be kept busy with. In all honesty it sounded and looked more like a summer camp than a school trip but who were you to judge this event that had been the talk of the town or well.. class.

A blow of warm air to the back of your neck made you turn around only to be met with a grinning Ethan. He chucked your bag into your hands to which you thanked him quietly. Raising an eyebrow upon seeing his suitcase. “What’s all that for? You make it seem like you’re moving somewhere.”

Ethan followed your pointing finger and gave a nonchalant shrug. “Have to be prepared for everything. Wouldn’t you say so?”

With a snort and a simple roll of your eyes you turned around to look at the cabins once more, trying to look for one that seemed good to stay in. “Yeah right. As if we’re in an apocalypse.” The faux offended gasp made you tilt your head back to Ethan, only to see him frowning at you.

“When you have a zombie after you, I’m not gonna help you. You’ve lost that privilege, just so you know.”  Of course Ethan would play right into the banter. It’s almost heartwarming to see how well he knows you and your remarks. He seems happy about it too, given the cheeky grin now on his face.

Fighting back an actually genuine smile at your thoughts you forced out a sarcastic laugh. “Consider my boots quaking.” Ain't no way you'll let him see just how much you actually valued him as a friend.

–--

Fighting back a twitch of your eye, you stood in the middle of your cabin. ‘I thought the number seven meant luck not misfortune.’ Mentally groaning as you were forced to share a cabin with Ethan alongside Jana and her friend. Of course it would be the two other people who fit perfectly in the classmate category instead of friend. Not exactly what you had hoped for.

Now, what had you irritated in the first place? A very questionable situation you found yourself in. Jana and Ethan were proper bickering on each side of you, trying to convince each other why you should share their bunk bed with them. Ethan to your left, saying that you should share his bunk bed because the two of you were close friends and Jana to your right counter arguing that you needed a change and the best way was to share her bunk bed.

Leaning your head back with a groan you muttered out a simple ‘Stop arguing for the love of-” You really couldn’t handle the two whining any longer.

“Jana, let the guy go. You already know him and Ethan are like two peas in a pod.” Thank fuck for Jana’s friend interfering this banter and dragging Jana off you. Otherwise it would have gone on forever, you feared. Though when Jana was pulled off you, Ethan didn’t let go as expected. Instead he hugged your hands tightly close to you, practically trying to prove that ‘you were his’.

“Oi. Let go.” Ethan looked at you and smiled, dragging you to the bunk bed so you could unpack your things.

“You owe me now, just saved you from a zombie.” You couldn’t help but chuckle at Ethan’s joke, having to hide your laugh into your hand. It wasn’t exactly proper to laugh at your friend's whispered insult when the person was in the room, now was it?

“Thought you were supposed to leave me to fend for myself?” A snarky question earned a nudge to your side followed by a small ‘Changed my mind.’ from Ethan.

You could already feel how fun this whole event was going to be despite the situation a few seconds ago, it wasn’t even the evening and you felt like you had lived through 2 weeks of this campy life. Better unpack your bag and make this cabin feel like home as quickly as possible so you could go and explore the place.

---

Yeahh…not ever did you think that your curiosity to look round the place was a popular thought, so much so that it would bring together an ‘exploring group’. Not that little either, most people decided to tag along, not to mention the teacher deciding to come too. Taking off along one of the roads into the trail that was supposed to make a circle around the area. Get used to the place, you know?

You and Ethan seemed to be the two leaders of the group for now, starting the stroll while chatting about random things. Then some more people joined the conversation and then more…and more, until it seemed like you were the one tagging along. 

It’s not that you hated the other, gods no, your extroverted part just died off midway so now you opted for listening to the others. Ethan, however, didn’t seem to catch the hint and kept trying to get you more into the conversation. Which only annoyed you given the remarks he was making.

Walking a bit slower as you took your time to admire the scenery to save your mind, practically zoning out on the sight of the lake below you. This hill with some benches was a prime spot to hang out, noting the place into that good memory of yours.

“Come on bro, wouldn’t want you to get lost now..” Ethan’s hand was hanging off your shoulder as he practically pressed his cheek against yours. 

Not bothering to fight back you let the guy try to drag  you back to the others who had made it a fair bit ahead already. “You’re awfully quiet. What’s got your panties in a twist?”

You could already hear the awful grin on Ethan’s face, so out of habit you gave him a look. “Didn’t expect so many people to tag along. Little tired is all.” A hum escaped Ethan. A perfect sign he was plotting something and his next words confirmed it.

“Want me to take care of them? I’m good at combat!” Apparently Ethan was really going all in on the apocalypse roleplay for some reason and you couldn’t help but feel your face contort into a confused expression.

“You and combat? Those two do not go well together. You know that.” The offended sigh that you heard next to you stopped abruptly and then Ethan grabbed your cheeks, making you face him.

“Oor.. you want me to take care of you instead?” A simple twitch of your eye made him back off with a casual laugh. Almost made him feel the need to surrender to save himself of your wrath. It was either your mind was in the gutter or he was purposefully being suggestive.

“I mean it though,” Ethan said after a moment of silence, turning to glance at you again, “I can help you get your spark back. Have some fun between the two of us, you know the good old primal style-”

Seems he had chosen some bad words to describe his ideas because before Ethan could go on, he was very quickly pulled off the trail, pushed against the nearest tree. Your hand over his mouth to properly shut him and his stupid ideas up. There was no need to get so riled up by some ‘jokes’ your best friend made but they did have an effect. More than you’d like to admit.

Feeling him smile against your hand made you lean closer to Ethan’s face, whispering into his ear, “You better shut the fuck up right now before I make you.” And by the way his smile grew underneath your hand, it told you everything you needed to know.

“Turn around.” A simple command that Ethan eagerly followed, looking over his shoulder as he moved your hand from over his mouth to be wrapped around his lower stomach. Trying so damn hard to get you all riled up. To make you lose yourself. To finally give him your attention. Only you and him. Alone.

The perfect arch in his back as he tried to press himself against you did not go unnoticed at all. Using your free hand to trail it down his back to rest on his hip to suddenly pull your own hips flush against his ass. “You want this don’t you? Being annoying on purpose to get what you crave?” Leaning close to whisper against his neck. Giving Ethan a taste of his own medicine. “Tell me why I should be nice, hmm?”

Ethan pressed his eyes shut for a moment, letting out a breath of air. You could notice how he tightened his hands against the bark of the tree he was leaning on. “ Wanna be good for you..”

How sweet. So eager to make you feel good. Even if it was a blatant lie, Ethan was a perv and you could see it clearly now. This was no kind gesture on his part, he just wanted you. Needed you. Disguising it as ‘wanting to make you feel nice’. So naughty you are Ethan.

“You expect me to believe that after that stunt you pulled in the bus?” Smirking evilly against Ethan’s neck as you kept him neatly pressed against your groin while the hand that was previously wrapped around him, moved to touch his skin. Sliding up his shirt to leave teasing touches on his warm skin. So sensitive just from this? Oh.. poor guy and his shallow breaths.

Nodding desperately and pressing his forehead against the tree, “Yeah...please? I’ll behave.” Ethan’s little breaths and begging made you hum against his neck. Leaning back a bit to really take in how eager he was. Already the perfect putty for you to play with. “Where’d all your attitude go? Lost it in your throat, did you?” He could handle a little more teasing, couldn’t he? Well, he better handle it.

Pressing your chest against his back as both of your hands made it under his shirt, keeping him stuck against you. Sliding your hands up his stomach as you smirked at his surprised noises. Leaning your head to the side to glance at his reddening face. With a resolved whisper and a meaningful sharper press against him you teased, “You better have a condom with you, otherwise I’m leaving you here.” Ethan shuddered against you and slowly dug into his front pocket, pulling out a condom. An amused hum escaped you. Had he really been preparing this whole thing? So needy, especially the hopeful look he gave you. Looking innocently in your direction, waiting for you. So obviously you took the condom and held it between your teeth. Hands are busy creatures.

A quick look around confirmed that you two were indeed alone. The group had continued walking along the trail. ‘This can’t be any more perfect.’ 

Finally you got to work, moving your hands to remove Ethan from his pants. As soon as the zipper was opened you pushed his pants down to his ankles. Enjoying how Ethan shivered and kept an anticipation filled gaze on every small action on your part. Keeping one hand on his surprisingly already hard dick, palming him through his boxers with slow movements, while the other was presented before him. He looked at your fingers for a moment before opening his mouth for you.

A swift push and you could hear him slightly gag on your fingers. Lewdly sucking at them as if they were a meal to devour. Slurps and whines left his lips that were neatly around your fingers, keeping them wet as he looked at you with a proud look. Trying to milk any sort of praises from you by sliding his tongue all over your fingers to show how good he was. Only for you.

With a breathy whine from Ethan you withdrew your hand, pushing his boxers out the way, the slick and wet fingers toying with him before slowly pressing a finger into him. Savouring the gentle gasp it earned from Ethan. You had never seen him this way and honestly. You kinda liked it.

The teasing and slow moves your fingers did in order to prep the guy earned a whiny sigh from Ethan, “Can you just do it already..I can’t wait..” Halting your hand for a moment, giving him a scare of leaving completely before harshly shoving two digits into him. ‘That should shut him up,’ A sharp breath in did exactly that, leaving Ethan wordless.

Soon enough Ethan was rocking back on three of your fingers, hands balled into fists against the tree as he desperately tried to find some sort of satisfaction. Something deeper. The heavy huffs and puffs by him helped quite a bit by making you more willing to be in him already. The sounds were sweet and addicting. You really couldn’t wait anymore.

Pulling your hand away made Ethan turn his head in your direction, not that he could see much from over his shoulder anyways, which left a pout on his needy and red face. Though the sound of your zipper opening peaked his interest. Pushing your pants and boxers out the way, quickly ripping the condom open and rolling it onto your dick.

Lining it up with his needy hole left you little to no time to think before Ethan himself pressed himself back against you. Forcing you to enter him, his back arched immediately and a pleased mewl left him. “Oh… so someone’s this needy?” The chuckle didn’t even make it to Ethan’s ears, he was too busy getting himself used to you.

To help him along you pressed yourself against his back, pulling him a bit up so instead of his head resting against the tree it was his chest that touched nature. Hands holding onto his overly warm skin, massaging it with gentle touches.

“Move.” Aand there was the signal you needed to hear. The first pull back, leaving only your tip buried into Ethan along the need-filled buck, completely sheathing yourself into the warm and gushy walls earned a low groan from the both of you. Ethan felt so damn good around you, it felt as though he knew exactly what to do and when. Perfectly keeping you snug inside him.

Leaning your forehead onto his shoulder you began bucking yourself in and out of him at a decent pace, not enough to be considered ‘teasing’ but not fast enough to properly stimulate the whiny Ethan beneath you. This was supposed to be a bit of a punishment to Ethan for being annoying after all.

Never did you think that Ethan would be vocal…well this vocal. It almost felt like he was living through this ten times in one go. From fear of people hearing you took a hold of his head, pressing your palm over his mouth. Gently pulling his head back a bit as his body rocked along with every thrust you did. Feeling how the warm air from his nostrils bushed your knuckles while he tried to keep sounds to a minimum. Spoiler: it wasn't really working. 

Ethan seemed to grow more and more needy as time went on and his moans and mewls only increased your inner need to fuck him completely dumb right here and right now. So as any guy would, you picked up your pace.

Each nasty slap of your pelvis meeting his ass earned a breath from you and a pleased yet muffled moan from Ethan. Feeling how sensitive he was, all because of you, made you proud. You didn’t even know why. Ethan was your best friend for fuck sake….this was no activity between friends. You knew that but didn’t acknowledge it.

Suddenly Ethan shuddered in your grasp, tightening around you. Even from underneath your hand he managed to whine out ‘Keep going- that…fuck..’ Ah so you found his prostate. A smirk made its way to your face. A new purpose made itself visible. With unfaltering thrusts you drove yourself into himself in just the right angle to brush against his prostate. Toying with his sensitivity to see him crumble and wither in pleasure.

The filthy slaps of skin to skin contact came to an abrupt stop. Making Ethan grumble and look over to the side to give you a glare. Seeing the focused look on you made him follow your line of sight. ‘Oh.’ Someone was there. From the faint sounds that grew louder you could figure out who it was. Jana.

She was calling out for someone…wait you? Why the hell was she looking for you? Didn’t the rest of the people keep going? So why was she walking back after you?  Unbeknownst to you Ethan squinted his eyes in displeasure. Not only because Jana had stopped you from moving but because she was getting on Ethan’s nerves. How did she not get that you were his? He decided to prove it to her once and for all.

With sly actions he began moving against you to keep the momentum going. Who cares if someone is walking past, right? Ethan just needed to keep his lips shut. With a shocked look you put both of your hands on his hips, trying to keep Ethan still, to which he just looked at you and whispered, “I’ll keep quiet…’s need to feel you..”

With a silent sigh you gave in and let Ethan move against you, though you kept your attention on making sure the coast would be clear. ‘Omfg Jana walk faster.’ Mentally cursing at the snail speed Jana seemed to be using to pass by. Ethan, who noticed your focused manner, smirked at the information and picked up his pace, perfect for catching you off guard. Really bucking himself back to feel you.

With a sick idea, he opened his mouth to let out probably the most lewd moan ever. Loud too. Just when Jana was done passing by yet not completely out of the picture. Ethan was purposefully whining and moaning your name to make Jana jealous. So this was a jealousy thing between Ethan and Jana, huh? In Ethan’s mind this whole scene confirmed you were properly his and if Jana knew better she’d back off.

With a quick and harsh manner your hand was over Ethan’s mouth again. “The fuck are you doing!? Shut up Ethan.” He just pressed himself against you and mumbled ‘She’s gone..’ against your hand to urge you to fuck him again. He was correct that Jana was gone now and the others would make it to the cabins from the other side. Oh...Ethan was so going to get it, now that it was certain no interruptions would happen. 

Freeing Ethan’s mouth, instead gripping his hips to drill yourself into him. You were pissed at his jealous stunt but with his moans hitting your ears you couldn’t stay mad at him for long. Surprisingly enough his sensitivity hadn’t gone down at all given he let out every sound imaginable when he felt you target his prostate. Feeling him twitch and shudder, how he tightened around you, how his legs threatened to give out because you just felt sooo good in him. So perfect.

With a whiny mewl Ethan let his head fall forward against the tree feeling how his body rocked along with your harsh thrusts. Eyes pressed shut as shaky breaths left his parted lips. He came. And hard. The sticky substance painting the tree, dripping down in small droplets. Hmmm, at least it's some nutrients for the tree? No clue.

The tight squeeze of his ass only heightened your own need to find your relief. Hands gripping Ethan’s hips to the point of leaving bruises as you pushed yourself as deep as possible. Breaths heavy and rugged. ‘So close.. So damn close.’ Only a bit more, Ethan could handle it, yeah?

That warm knot in you tightened even more and with a low groan you sheathed your dick into him as hard as you could in your hazed state that was looking for the tipping point. Pulling Ethan tight against you as you came. Just keeping him close as you came down from your high, warm breaths against his neck.

Ethan could feel how warm his insides were, though he didn’t show his disappointment of not properly being able to  feel it. Lifting his hand up to hold your head, messing with your hair as you were nuzzled into his neck. “Feel better now?” Oh for fucks sake..of course he was going to be unserious and continue his previous banter.

“Yeah. Refreshed and dealt with.” He shivered a bit from the chuckle, and reference to the earlier conversation, against his neck. Smiling to himself as he felt you lean back and slowly pull out of him. Slowly making sure he was mentally good enough to go back to the cabins. Wouldn’t want to miss this too much. To not miss your dick too much. Yeah, a hard task for Ethan.

While you were busy with tying up the condom, Ethan slowly turned around to lean his back against the tree. His tired and satisfied eyes looking at you, admiring you with every inch of your being. It was clear that he was head over heels in love with you, yet you seemed to be so oblivious. Calling him a friend psshh as if. You couldn’t ignore him and his feelings now, right?

“What do I do with this?” Chucking the used rubber on the ground for a moment, just long enough to get yourself clothed up again. Ethan followed suit and picked the briefly discarded item up.

“I’ll throw it away, don’t worry.” He ensured and hid it in his hand for the time being, until a trash bin was visible. A small hum came as a reply for Ethan.

Taking the course back to the cabins. You two would probably need to walk slow for Ethan’s sake but also so the flushed and messed up appearances would fade. The smell of sex was most likely still around you two but at least you wouldn’t look like dogs in heat.

A quick glance to your right and Ethan’s proud smile was on full display. “Someone seems content.”

Ethan shrugged and clicked his tongue, “Very much so. 0-2.” You gave him a simple nudge to his side and gave a playful roll of your eyes.

“Help me think of an excuse why we were gone instead of keeping score. I doubt ‘I got lost with my friend’ is viable here. We look fucked.” Oh… Seems you still don’t see him as a partner, just means Ethan needs to try a little harder and he is known to be stubborn. He won’t give up until he gets what he wants, isn’t that right?

At least he can fondly look back on being fucked by the beautiful scenery of a lake behind you. Don’t get hard again Ethan.

[srvbryn]

Luke Castellan. Wounds

Luke Castellan X Apollo!Daughter!reader

Summary: In which Luke got small wounds and he's being stubborn as hell

"I don't need your healing magic power ugh" "yes yes you do <333"

A/n: "I can change him" "remember who the real enemy is!" I might join him instead and I'm trying aaaah 😭

Luke Castellan lay in his makeshift infirmary, his usually vibrant eyes dulled by sickness.

Annabeth, had insisted on a medical check-up, much to his stubborn resistance.

The camp's medic, not daring to face Luke, had reluctantly agreed to let (Name), the daughter of Apollo, tend to him.

"(Name)," Luke rasped, his voice a mere whisper. "I don't need your healing powers. I'm perfectly fine."

She raised an eyebrow, unimpressed by his defiance. "Sure, Luke. That's why you're lying here looking like you went a few rounds with a cyclops."

He managed a grin. "Maybe I did. It's just a scratch."

She shook her head, a small smile on her lips. "You're impossible, Luke."

As she examined him, he couldn't help but notice the warmth in her hands and the calming aura that enveloped her.

It was a stark contrast to the cold atmosphere of the infirmary.

"You're lucky Annabeth forced you into this check-up," she remarked, her fingers over his forehead. "You wouldn't last another day without proper care."

"I don't need anyone to take care of me," he mumbled, though his resistance was losing its edge.

"Oh, I can see that," she teased, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "That's why you're practically glowing with health."

He rolled his eyes but didn't protest.

There was something about her presence that eased his discomfort. Maybe it was the gentle way she treated him or the fact that she was the only one he tolerated when he was at his weakest.

"You know," he began, his voice a bit less strained, "I might consider getting sick more often if you're the one taking care of me."

She chuckled, a melodic sound that filled the infirmary. "Nice try, Luke. But I think once is more than enough for everyone involved."

Their banter continued, the atmosphere lightening with each exchanged word.

As she administered a healing concoction, their eyes met, and a silent understanding passed between them.

"You're not so bad when you're not plotting world domination," she teased, a soft smile gracing her features.

He grinned, the playful glint returning to his eyes. "World domination is overrated anyway. I think I'd rather have someone take care of me like you do."

She chuckled again, the flirtatious undertone not lost on either of them. "Well, don't get too comfortable. This is a one-time offer."

"Shame," he replied with a mock pout. "I was starting to enjoy being pampered by the favorite daughter of Apollo."

As the day turned into evening, (Name) continued to stay by Luke's side. The infirmary, once a place of discomfort, became a home of shared laughter and a connection that went beyond the demigod duties.

In the quiet moments, as Luke drifted into a restful sleep, (Name) couldn't help but admire the vulnerability beneath his tough exterior.

And so, in the warm glow of the infirmary's lamps, the daughter of Apollo watched over the fallen hero, silently acknowledging that sometimes, even the strongest warriors needed a healer's touch to mend both body and soul.

[lucysarah-c]

Scratches down his back

Summary: Repeat after me, nothing good happens in the common showers unless it’s Levi sandwiching you with the wet wall. Sadly, this is not the case. So, nothing good will happen.  Author's Note: I'm revisiting this piece, my second-ever Levi fanfiction, after Tumblr inexplicably removed it. I've made a few alterations, so if you recall the original, you might notice some differences. I've attempted to recreate it to the best of my memory. Despite initially intending it to be full NSFW, I've reconsidered; it doesn't quite match the tone I'm aiming for. This leans more towards being a Crack fic than an NSFW one. Warning: This story contains suggestive themes but nothing explicit. Word Count: 2.8k

She lotioned up, fingers deftly twisting and knotting the towel around her body to keep it from slipping. Annoying groans echoed in the humid tiled space as she struggled to finish her routine while maintaining modesty and not taking up too much space. 

"Holy Sheena," a voice called from her right, making her turn around hastily. 

"What?" she responded. 

Hange walked closer, seeming less concerned about covering up after coming out of the shower. "Those bruises... tell Shorty he's supposed to fuck you, not try to kill you," they joked. 

She sighed intently and found the well-marked fingertips around her hips, washing away marks around her wrists and the obvious hickeys and bite marks on her inner thighs and lower collarbone to conceal them from daily life. Y/N couldn't help but chuckle. 

"Forgot I had those," she commented, momentarily happy before furrowing her brow again. "I can't find anything here!" 

The former HQ of the scouts lacked a pumping water system, everything (despite her boyfriend's attempts) smelled of mold and humidity. The place was freezing due to the tall ceilings and lack of proper insulation, especially in the middle of the forest where temperatures dropped the lowest. Having to shower there, under shaky candlelight, with buckets of water and a cup to pour it on her body was a nightmare. 

"How could you forget?" Hange seemed less stressed about the shower situation, either because they had fewer steps in their routine or because they were less ashamed. 

"I got used to it, and I usually don't share bathrooms, so no one can see me naked," she explained, searching among her personal hygiene items for the next step in her routine. "I forgot how impractical communal showers were." 

"Ah, yes, because you and your hubby have all the space for yourselves," the brunette joked, making kissing sounds to annoy her further. 

"You're just jealous that my love life is very active," she retorted. 

"Don't point those fingers at me, save those assumptions for Erwin," Hange teased. 

Their banter made her laugh and nod slightly in agreement. "Speaking of which, did he send you here to help with something?" 

"Supervise a bit of the situation for him and fill out reports for the MPs and the military board," Y/N explained casually as she started to put on comfy clothes. 

"So, basically... a conjugal visit so Levi doesn't get blue balls," They quipped. 

Coughing loudly as the foam from the toothpaste made her choke in shock, she spat into the sink before looking up, blushing deeply. "HANGE!" 

The squad leader chuckled, unfazed by the outburst. "Your marks tell me I'm right. You arrived last night, and he jumped on you like a beast in heat." 

She scoffed, not saying a word as her mouth was still full of toothpaste. Frowning slightly at the squad leader and shooting them an askance look, but Hange didn't seem offended, taking the conversation lightheartedly. 

As they finished their dental routines, Y/N was surprised by Hange's efficiency. They clearly had different notions of after-shower routines. 

"Don't be so hard on him," Y/N defended her boyfriend tenderly as she rinsed the toothpaste residue. "He's stressed about the whole Titan boy situation. He needed to unwind." 

Both walked out of the room lethargically, as if neither had anywhere urgent to be. "That's the excuse Shorty gave you? But if Eren is so meek around Levi..." Hange argued back between chuckles. 

The empty corridors of the former HQ made her shiver, quickly losing the warmth of the shower as they strolled. When the name of the new cadet in Levi's squad was dropped, Y/N couldn't help but grimace and bite her bottom lip to hold back a chuckle. 

"What's so funny?" Hange asked. 

"Nothing," she replied. 

"Come on, just tell me!" 

"Fine..." she relented, "but this stays between us." 

"You know I can't promise that," Hange joked, indicating that juicy information wouldn't stay secret for long. "Just spit it out." 

"I met Eren earlier today..." she began. 

"Yeah, and?" Hange prompted. 

Y/N's subtle, almost innocent blush didn't match her sassy chuckles. "He's hella cute." 

Hange's loud gasp echoed in the empty hallways, prompting Y/N to hush them intensely. "You're a taken woman, Y/N!" the brunette argued, albeit without seriousness. "And... He's a kid. Have some decency, you creep." 

"Hey!" Y/N quickly protested. "I never said I was going to sleep with him or something like that! Can't a girl admit when a boy is cute? I mean, did you see his eyes? He's going to be turning heads around here before you know it." 

Hange chuckled, "If he survives..." 

"What a depressing thought, Hange, for Sheena's sake," both continued walking. "Mark my words, he's going to be handsome and will have girls swooning over him." 

"Including you?" Hange teased. 

Y/N shook her head softly, regretting telling the squad leader about it. "I could teach him a thing or two," she joked back, earning a shallow laugh from her companion. 

"Don't let Shorty hear you say that," Hange warned. 

"I'm joking, I'm joking," she assured. 

The heavy stone walls seemed to catch every little molecule of dust between the bricks as she swung the door open to the basement kitchen, probably designed to keep the cold temperature for food storage. Or perhaps it was an old castle, and the staff was secluded to the forgotten and unpleasant part of the architecture. Once inside, Petra and Eren were cutting potatoes while sitting on big, chipped wooden boxes. 

"Hey," Y/N greeted, rubbing her arms over her clothes as the humidity and coldness of the place seemed to penetrate every piece of clothing. "The bathroom is free if you want to take a shower." 

Y/N chuckled softly at her own words. "Well, 'shower' is a bold word for sitting down and throwing buckets of water on yourself," she clarified, jokingly. 

Petra seemed to understand, smiled at Eren, and stood up to clean her hands before leaving. They were taking turns for showers, mostly because the former HQ lacked a water pumping system, so they had to fetch water early in the day. For showers, the water had to be warmed up by the stove and then carried to one of the rooms they had chosen as a bathroom. Neither room was ideal because of the wooden floors, but they made do. 

She noticed the big, almost innocent eyes of the cadet looking up at her, both seemingly waiting for the other to make the next move. Eren continued with his task silently until she cleared her throat. 

"So... have you taken a shower yet, Eren?" 

"No, ma'am," Eren replied stiffly, making her scoff. 

"You can call me Y/N," she said, taking a spot next to him on the box. "Here, let me help you, or we'll be having potatoes for dinner the day after tomorrow." 

Her hands began to peel the potatoes with expertise. "You're good at this," he commented, looking down at his own pile and noticing a good part of the peel had taken the potato with it. 

She chuckled, "Ugh, you know how many potatoes I peeled before I was promoted," she joked. "You're showering after dinner? Make sure to rinse the water out of your hair if you're going straight to bed; you might catch a cold otherwise." 

Eren seemed surprised by the comment, or perhaps by the interaction overall. "Yes, ma'am," he replied with less self-assurance. "Captain Levi said the rest should go ahead, and then we'll go... I feel bad that he had to wait to take his turn because of me." 

"You're showering with Levi?" she asked, entertained, cutting off a bit of the self-hate speech that the cadet was about to embark on. "You're not planning on stealing my man, are you?" 

Oh, how quickly the blood rushed to his cheeks. It was priceless. "N-NO! I-I, no. I'll n-never," the poor boy began to stutter. She playfully patted his back while having a blast. 

"Relax, Eren. I'm messing with you," she said between chuckles. "It's just a silly shower, sweetie. Levi goes to bed very late, so showering last doesn't affect him." 

"But Oluo said–" 

"Ohhh, please," she interrupted him again, rolling her eyes as she returned to her task of peeling potatoes. Momentarily pointing at him with the knife, as if to emphasize her point, she continued, "Do not listen to him. Oluo is like one of those very tiny little dogs. They bark and bark and may even bite more than a regular-sized dog, but they actually hold no power." 

It was time for the cadet to have a short chuckle at her comparison. "Mr. Oluo isn't going to like that." 

"Well, I'm higher in command than him so." 

There was a brief calm silence as both of them continued to prepare dinner. "You're too nice to me, Squad Leader," Eren murmured, slightly ashamed. "The rest of Captain Levi's squad is nice too, but I can feel their fear..." 

Y/N couldn't help but find it endearing, the little pout on his face. "Oh sweetie, I'm the one who brings the first paperwork of the day to Erwin, and sometimes I even have to wake him up. There's nothing you could do that could scare me after that," she said while reaching forward to pinch his right cheek while wrinkling her nose. "You're a cutie." 

The side smile mixed with a not subtle blush that extended to his ears and the subtle shame in his eyes. Everything in his attitude screamed 'I'm not a girl or a kid, don't call me that.' 

But that was exactly what he was in her eyes: a kid. 

Clicking his tongue, cursing under his breath, he moved the shaking candle around, trying to find a good lighting spot against the old mirror while passing the razor close to his skin. The flame shook under the little insulation of the old rooms, and the humidity of the showers didn’t help as it rained little drops of condensation too close to it. Unlike Eren, who had finished showering and looked around ashamed, unsure how to even begin to dress up for bed without looking awkward (he could start by not standing still in the middle of the room), Levi seemed rather relaxed. Apparently, his only problem was shaving under that type of light. 

The Captain looked over his shoulder, found the cadet looking as if he wished the earth could swallow him. “Come on, brat. We don’t have all night. Get dressed so I can take you to the basement,” Levi spoke up. “Don't be so tense. I cleaned the place myself.” 

‘The cleanliness is not my problem,’ Eren thought to himself as he tried to carry on. But keeping the towel around his hips while trying to put clothes on that stuck to his humid body, nothing was going according to plan. 

“I bet you shared showers in worse conditions at the training camps,” Levi kept his usual stoic face as he cleaned the residues of shaving cream from his face and carried on unaffected by the situation. 

But Eren couldn’t unglue his eyes as soon as he noticed them. Yes, them. The red striking scratches down the back of his superior. Well-marked, five on each side decorating his shoulder blades. Eren swore he was trying not to pay them any mind, trying to remember to breathe or even to stop the saliva as his mouth hung open looking at them. 

Levi mentioning the shared showers at the training camps didn't help. Because all he could hear repeating endlessly in his mind were the stupid conversations Reiner and Jean would have about the hypothetical chicks they were planning to lay with. How they throw their heads back as they moan your name. Their nails sinking in your back as you pounded into them. 

‘Think of something else, Eren. Think of something else,’ 

“S-sorry,” he stuttered out a reply as the object he was picking up slipped from his clumsy hands, gathering his superior's attention, who was now staring at him as he kneeled to pick it up with his face as red as a tomato and nervous eyes. 

Levi raised a silent eyebrow for a split second before slightly shaking his head, not giving it much thought. ‘Teenagers,’ he thought to himself while sighing. 

Eren wished he could stop his own mind because it wasn’t just Reiner’s voice playing in his head but the created mental images of what he thought, in his inexperience, it looked like: his superior—no—his hero, fucking the sweet, caring woman who had just been peeling potatoes with him. Her hands that pinching his cheeks, sinking its nails into his squad leader’s back while moaning his name. Wrinkling his eyes closed, trying to erase the mental images as he could feel the blood pumping. ‘You’re not planning on stealing my man, are you?’ her voice echoing in the walls of his head, pumped lips and sultry eyes as she looked back at him playfully. 

‘Think of something else!’ 

“What could you probably be thinking of?” Levi’s voice echoed as his worst nightmare. Had he said that out loud? This time Levi had turned around to face him, left hand resting on the sink as he had his trousers on but hanging loosely on his hips as he was halfway getting dressed. He didn’t seem friendly, and his dead glance demanded an explanation. 

“Ehm- I,” Eren began to stutter, trying to find a logical explanation. His mind was racing miles per hour, how to explain. He was peeling potatoes, she made a joke, now he knows they are dating, Levi had his back scratched by her. She, her nails, her joke, her pretty lips— 

“Y-Y/N,” 

Ah- He shouldn’t have said that, but it was the first word that came to his mind. 

“What?” Levi’s voice seemed to source from hell itself. 

Heavy steps again on the floor, as he rushed back to his room. “Oi, where are you going so angry, shorty?” Hange rested against the wood frame while drinking a cup of tea. They had heavy under-eye circles and despite the dose of caffeine from their drinks, they seemed very lethargic. 

“Tch, to talk to my girlfriend about not messing around with my subordinates,” Levi had a heavy frown on his face as his hair still leaked little drops of water. “I just had the most uncomfortable conversation with Eren,” Levi said between clenched teeth, barely modulating. 

Hange chuckled while raising an eyebrow, blinking a couple of times. “Y/N told you she thinks Eren is a cutie? I’m surprised...” 

Levi, who had never stopped facing down the hall to his room, not even when he began his conversation with the other squad leader, slowly turned around to face the brunette as he heard that with a clearly confused face that turned into a frown as the information sank in. “What?” he spat out. 

Hange began to chuckle as they feared that they had misunderstood, “Ha ha... didn’t you say you had an uncomfortable conversation about Eren?” 

“Clean up your filthy ears or go to sleep already, four eyes,” the captain said calmly before clarifying, “I said a fucking uncomfortable conversation WITH Eren.” 

“Now, tell me what the hell you meant by that and make it quick because I already stood in a leaky bathroom for easily half an hour hearing Eren stutter apologize after he said my girlfriend’s name with a fucking hard on.” 

Observing out of the window as she admired how calm the deep forest was at the former HQ. It was rather cold, but she had only her nightgown on, a sheer translucent piece of cloth. The door of the room swung open, revealing an extremely angry Levi. He shut his door close and walked up to her. 

“What's gotten into you?” She questioned, confused. But before she could even reply, he was grabbing her face, pressing her cheeks together, and slightly raising her face to have it inches away from his. 

“You’ve forgotten your manners. I’ve been too soft with you,” Levi groaned, “First of all, you don’t go around playing cheeky with my subordinates.” 

She could feel the tug from his grip, pressing her closer as her hands touched his arm. Breathing heavily, humming a moan at his words. “Second, you truly think you could have a brat like him when I can already tell you’re dropping with the idea of me teaching you your place again?” 

“Lev-” 

“Your next words should be ‘Yes, sir’ if you know what's good for you,” he let go of her face just to slap her ass, “Go to bed and ass up, baby girl.” 

She moved excitedly in the direction he indicated but turned around as she bit her bottom lip, watching as he grabbed a belt from his uniform, “and that?” she asked curiously. 

“To make sure I’m the only one who leaves marks behind.” 

Link to my masterlist and my other works if you feel like checking them out.

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[kathaynesart]

The call has ended, but the final recording still has a bit further to go.  

BEGINNING || PREVIOUS || NEXT MASTER POST

Sorry these past several updates have been such downers.  I promise the next one will have some fun banter.  Can’t wait to get back to the real world with less digital effects and data dump.  I don’t know how Donnie deals with all of it. 

Below the cut I’ve added a little talk about Donnie and the way he handled this heavy conversation, something I fear might come off a little harsh without the proper context clues.  Also, below is a fun little discovery I made about Omega! 

I’ve already had a few people express how Donnie seems mean to his family in this update, which I totally understand how it can come off like that.  A certain amount of nuance is lost in this sort of comic format with neither descriptors, actual voice acting, or even Donnie’s face to give context for the way he is saying certain lines.  It’s an artistic choice I made, but one I still wish to clarify.

I see the sudden hang up as less Donnie being a jerk and more him having to cut the conversation short because he has to keep focus and he’s scared of Leo talking him down from the ledge he’s standing on.  He’s sticking to his guns and it hurts him to see how much it’s hurting his family and so all he can do is distance himself before the strong emotions cause him to make a mistake in the middle of enemy territory (placing legitimate logical concerns over emotional ones).  At the same time he is attempting to remain calm if only to try and let some of that wash onto Leo and April, because he knows if Leo freaks out too much he could risk bleeding out faster, which is why he was pressing for April to care for him first and foremost.  Were he a better liar he might have done so just to keep Leo calm a little longer, but no such luck.   Donnie holds so much love for his family, and I don’t think an apocalypse has changed that, he just has difficulty at times knowing the hierarchy of emotions expected of such a rare and dire situation and instead chooses to focus on the logical issues because at least those are some things he has certain control over. He wants to keep his family safe at all costs and if he has to cut off the last conversation he initiated and desperately wanted with his family to do so then he will.  I hope that clears some things up.  I might make this paragraph into it’s own post tomorrow for those who might have missed this update. 

On another note, I discovered something fun while researching Donnie’s screen UI!  (Extra photos under the cut:) Omega is actually in the movie (kind of)!  Look at the lil’ guy!  All sorts of dead!

Thanks as always for your support and comments, it means a ton!

[ashotofogdensoldfirewhiskey]

Can you please write a fic for the prompt “late night chats”?

The sound of Ron’s footsteps treading up the stairs to the dormitory slowly fades, and they’re finally alone in the Common Room. 

Ginny makes a show of checking to make sure the coast is clear, and then she burrows happily into Harry’s side, snuggling deeper into the squashy sofa by the fire. His arm snakes around her waist to pull her in closer. They should probably go to bed, too, but it seems wasteful not to eke out every moment she can, to wring this weekend completely dry of moments with him. 

“Thought he’d never leave,” Ginny says with a sly grin. “I was ready to sit on your lap just so he’d get the hint.”

“Were you?” Harry says with interest. Then, he turns his head toward the stairs, and calls, “Ron?” as though to summon him back. 

Ginny snorts and pokes him in the side, and he turns that devastating smirk back at her - flashing green eyes, crooked lips, the hint of a dimple - the one that’s had her slowly losing her mind for months. 

She still can’t quite believe she’s allowed to kiss the smirk off his lips, now. She does, just to prove it’s real. 

Every moment alone they’ve stolen has taken on this oxymoronic tone: bodily tangible, like she can reach out and grasp their growing tangle of feelings as easily as a Quaffle, but wholly surreal, like they’re some elaborate daydream snatched from her subconscious. Both, and neither. 

She pulls back and smiles at him, and he does too, something wry creeping into their expressions, something that seems to say, we’re nauseating but I can’t help it. 

He’s made her so quickly greedy for more, the git. It’s been two days of kissing and banter and touches, overwhelming and not enough. 

“Tell me something,” she says, suddenly, “that you haven’t told anyone before.”

His eyebrows raise slightly in surprise, and Ginny’s plunged immediately into the vulnerability of her question, the implication of it. I want to be closer, she’s asking, do you? But, she’s not in Gryffindor for nothing, and so she holds his gaze and withstands his onslaught of silence. 

“Hm,” he says, looking thoughtful. “About what?”

“Anything,” she shrugs. “Whatever.”

Harry furrows his brow, stares ahead into the middle distance, and Ginny holds her breath, waiting to find out whether he’ll hand her a key or if she’ll have to keep knocking, knowing already she’s succumbed to knocking at his door until her knuckles bruise. 

“I dunno if my dad was a good person,” Harry says without preamble. 

Ginny doesn’t know what she’d expected him to tell her, but it hadn’t been that. “What makes you say that?”

He stares at his knees and explains about the Occlumency lessons with Snape. The memory he was never supposed to see. His father, every bit the bully Snape had always claimed. 

“--that’s why I wanted to talk to Sirius, last year,” Harry admits. “When you helped distract Umbridge. Stupid, I know–”

“It’s not stupid,” Ginny says fiercely. She feels the weight of it, what he’s told her. Wondering about someone who isn’t around to ask. Grieving someone and the idea of them at once. “What did Sirius say?”

“He said he grew out of it,” Harry says, though his tone says loud and clear that this explanation hadn’t been satisfactory to him. “But, I dunno. Means he was still a git before, doesn't it?”

“Maybe,” Ginny agrees. “Or maybe that was his worst moment.”

“Pretty shit moment.”

“Yeah,” Ginny admits, leaning her head on her hand, propped up on the back of the sofa so that she’s turned to face him. “Pretty shit. But I’d hate it if my future children only got to see me… oh, I dunno. Hex Zacharias Smith. Or slip that itching powder into Romilda Vane’s pumpkin juice.”

Harry shoots her a look. “When did you do that?”

“She tried to give you a love potion and got my brother poisoned, Harry.”

Harry snorts. “Remind me not to get on your bad side.”

“Well, that’s what I mean. We’ve all had shit moments that’d look terrible without proper context. My future children wouldn’t have any idea what Romilda had done to get on my bad side, would they?”

“I suppose,” Harry says, though he still sounds unconvinced. “But I don’t reckon there’s any context that’d make him look much better. I’m not saying Snape was a saint, I’m sure he gave as good as he got. But it… my dad was humiliating him. On purpose.”

“Mm,” Ginny hums slowly, mulling it over. “Do you reckon Sirius was right? That he did grow out of it?”

Harry swipes a hand through his messy hair. “He must’ve. My mum married him. Sirius and Lupin said he was better. But, I dunno. Maybe he did. I’ll never know, anyway.”

Ginny reckons that’s the real problem - the never knowing. Forgiveness is a difficult thing to offer when the person isn’t around to ask for or receive it. 

“I wish,” she says wistfully, “you’d got to see more. People can’t be all bad, I don’t think. I’m sure Sirius and Lupin have hundreds of memories that you would’ve liked him in. Makes it easier not to like him in that one.”

Harry’s lips part, and then he nods. “Yeah. Me too.”

She’s still thinking about it when Harry shocks her. “What about you, then?”

“Hmm?” she asks, confused. 

Harry jerks his head at her and nudges her knee with his own. “Your turn. Something you’ve never said to anyone.”

Ginny meets his eye, the warmth billowing through her chest like a cloud of candyfloss. He wants to know her, too. The thought - I like you more than I’ve ever liked anyone - threatens to spill from her lips, but she holds her tongue, wanting to offer him something of equal weight. 

“I use the bathroom on the second floor whenever I can,” she says, knowing he’ll understand which one she means. “Just to prove I’m not bothered by it. Only, it does bother me. Maybe that’s why I keep using it.”

He looks stricken. “Do you still think about it a lot? The Chamber?”

Ginny shrugs, perhaps a bit more nonchalant than she actually feels. “A bit. Still get nightmares sometimes, but not as often as I used to.”

“Yeah,” he says, and she’s struck for a moment by the fact that they might be haunted by the same ghost. “Me, too.”

She shoots him a commiserating look, and continues. “But it’s not about… about Riddle, really. I mean, it is. But it’s more about… me.”

“What do you mean?” His stare is so piercing, like he’s trying to see straight through to her soul. She imagines he can. 

“I dunno. It was awful, obviously, what happened. But when I think back on it, what actually bothers me…” she chews on her words, trying to articulate the vague shame that always clings to these memories, “is that I was so stupid.”

“What?” Harry says sharply. “You were eleven. That diary… it’s… you weren’t stupid.” His words are so firm that it steals her breath. “That was a powerful bit of Dark Magic, you couldn’t have done anything.”

“No, I know that. Logically, I know that. But, I dunno. I wrote so many pathetic things in that diary.” She tries to laugh, but it comes out a bit scratchy. “I was so lonely, after Ron left for school. So desperate to go off to Hogwarts and have mad adventures and play Quidditch and… meet you.” She stares down at her hands, the embarrassment threatening to overwhelm her. “I just hate that he knows all that, that I was this pathetic, desperate little girl–”

“He doesn’t,” Harry says. “The version of him you wrote to is gone. The real one doesn’t know any of it.”

“Oh,” she replies, coming up short. “How do you…? Well, never mind, you haven’t got to answer that, I suppose–”

“It’s not that I don’t want to–”

“No, I know,” Ginny says quickly, unable to bear some platitude, not from him, “Really, you haven’t–”

“Whatever you wrote in that diary died with it,” Harry says firmly. “I promise.”

Ginny nods, and lets the words sink in. Ever since Riddle had come back, she’d wondered whether pathetic little Ginny Weasley was somewhere in the back of his mind. Weak. Stupid. An easy target, close to Harry. The relief that she might just be anyone – no one, even – to this version of Riddle, is palpable. 

“Thanks,” Ginny breathes. “That makes me feel a bit… better.”

“You weren’t pathetic,” Harry says, like the thought is so absurd he’d never considered she might feel that way. “It’s quite impressive you managed to resist it for so long, actually.”

Everything that had happened with that diary has been so tinted with shame, with weakness, that Harry might consider her brave for it… it feels so antithetical to everything she’d ever thought, she nearly laughs. 

“Right,” Ginny says, deflecting away with a joke. “I’m sure all those roosters thought I was very impressive.”

To his credit, Harry doesn’t laugh. “That wasn’t you. It was him.”

Easy to say, harder to feel. “The Department of Mysteries wasn’t you, either.”

Harry stares at her, and she holds his gaze unwaveringly. She can see she’s made her point, can read in the pull of his brow that Harry understands exactly the weight of a guilt so heavy that words can’t lighten it. Just as plainly, though, she can see that he hates that she’s carrying it at all. 

Fair enough, really. She hates that he is, too. 

She breaks eye contact and nestles back into his side. She lifts up his hand with hers, plays absently with his fingers. “Why haven’t you ever told Ron and Hermione about your dad?”

He considers for a long moment, letting her play with his hand and pulling her in closer with the other. “Dunno, really. Just felt… defensive, I suppose. Like whatever they’d said, it would’ve bothered me.”

“I get that.” She winces. “Did I upset you?”

“No,” Harry says quickly. “It’s not like that, with you.”

The words melt in her heart like honey, covering everything in sweet, sticky warmth. She ceases her mindless fiddling with his fingers and looks up at him, knowing her face must be an open book, knowing it must be apparent that he’s got her whole honey-coated heart in his hands. “It’s not like that with you, either.”

He stares back at her, deep into her eyes, and for the first time it occurs to her to check her own palm for his.

He leans down and kisses her deeply, and she pulls herself up and snakes her arms around his neck. This thing has always been irritatingly there, for Ginny - the way she can read exactly what he’s thinking without even trying, the way she trusts him absolutely, the way he makes her heart skitter like she’s in a free fall. 

It’d never honestly occurred to her how powerful it would be to have it reciprocated. To have him understand what she’s saying so completely, to have him offer her something vulnerable just because she asked, to feel his heart hammering against her own. 

It’s been two bloody days, and yet she’s slipped past the point of no return with him already. Perhaps she’d started there. 

She pulls back from the kiss, feeling breathless. Harry looks a bit winded, himself. 

“We should probably go to bed,” he mutters, eyes still locked with hers. 

They should, probably. 

And they will. Eventually.

[rubra-wav]

I had this interesting scenario where Vox one day becomes exhausted from his rivalry with Alastor after realizing that the one-sided interactions were becoming old. He later meets the reader (who can also be a part of the hotel) who starts hacking into Voxtech's database to troll the company for shits and giggles. This catches Vox's attention and he's pissed about it. You can do what you want for the rest but they continue to have this rivalry to the point where it's very well known around hell. From an outside perspective, there is just back-and-forth angry banter but there are moments where they're just;

Reader: *appears on screen* Hey Box head, guess who found some good blackmail with your name on it- Vox: *Is so close to having a breakdown, he had a bad week.* Reader: Oh shit- did something happen, are you okay? 😰

They hate each other but they don't hate hate each other. This can be taken as platonic or romantic. I sent this request to someone else but I wanted to share anyway.

Vox x troll/hacker reader: Why So Blue? (Oneshot/concept version)

Why So Blue fic Masterlist

A/N me when I get to write Vox getting utterly humiliated by a troll-y hacker demon 🫶

I changed about the order of stuff as things happen a bit and took creative liberties with this one - sorry if it's really different then the thought you originally had.

(REQUESTS ARE CLOSED, THIS WAS FROM THE LAST TIME THEY WERE OPEN)

Update: This was really well-received, and several people have requested a part 2. I've decided that I will be writing it properly from the start in a proper chapter kind of way rather than in this format so it makes continuity kind of work better rather then the drabbl-y format used here.

Cw: SFW, romantic, enemy's to lovers type beat, references to one-sided radiostatic, also references to staticmoth, mildly suggestive in one part 💀, gn reader, mostly light-hearted - idk if it qualifies as quite hurt/comfort lmao

- It was just a normal morning for Vox when you first showed up.

- As usual, he booted up for the day, got changed out of his casual clothes, and made his morning coffee.

- As he walked into his computer room, absentmindedly sipping his coffee while looking at his phone, he sits down in his desk.

- Then promptly spits out his mouthful.

- When he finally looks up at the screens around him, he's mortified to see a muted video of himself passionately (and very drunkly) singing and dancing horribly from last night while he was out with Valentino and Velvette.

- Posted on Sinstagram from his own account.

- Hundreds of comments flooded in underneath it; laughing, saying it's cute, complimenting his singing, and talking about the caption underneath with curiosity.

- The caption reads; 'For someone who talks so big about being ahead technologically, it was awfully easy to hack old Boxy here LMAO'

- Vox flips out instantly.

- It doesn't take long to take down the post, change all of his details, and post an official apology for his lack of professionalism with a hypnotising message to forget the whole incident occurred at all. He also does a massive comb over for any other breaches and changes all of his systems to be even more impenetrable to a potional attack.

- He calms down, and the incident fades away to the back of his mind.

- But then it happens again.

- Another morning, an employee is rushing into his studio as he wakes up properly, telling him this time that someone is somehow broadcasting Rick Astley's 'Never Gonna Give You Up' to the entirety of hell at 6 am, interrupting every one of the scheduled programs.

- There's a message in big letters on the bottom of every screen in hell, under the god forsaken video and song playing, saying, "What is love~? - U" Underneath them.

- And that's how it starts, the infuriating thorn in Vox's side that is 'U'. No matter how hard he tries, you're constantly undermining his efforts to keep you out of the system and tormenting him in ways that aren't necessarily malignant but are extremely damaging to his image as the overlord of technology.

- For some reason, he's the only Vee you seem hellbent on coming after as well. Vel finds your pranks funny or cute when they don't inconvenience her, and Valentino just likes to prod Vox into getting angrier further.

- He just cannot work out what your motivations are at all. Is it truly that you just want to piss him off? He doesn't understand why someone with such clear skills would simply use them to taunt him and leave him messages to unveil as he undoes whatever you do.

- It vexes him even farther when these messages from you that you leave for him to decode start to sound borderline flirtatious, which makes him feel all the more humiliated.

- He is a grown demon, skilled businessman and entrepreneur, an overlord, and yet you insist upon calling him things like Box, Boxbabe, Boxbitch, and even babygirl of all things for some goddamn reason.

- The back and forth goes on for months, and 'U' quickly becomes a long lasting meme, several people, much to Vox's horror, shipping you two together and even partaking in ship wars as to whether Vox x 'U' is better then Vox x Val.

- Theres one day where Vox quickly puts his phone down after reading a rather concerning expert from what is certainly explicit fanfiction between the two of you, even him deciding that that's enough internet for today while just sitting staring off into space silently for a solid 10 seconds.

- Vox's sleepless nights pouring over his code to try and keep out your attacks, him glitching out whenever he finds infuriating messages left by you, etc. Begin to become routine and he just anticipates the consistent blows to his pride you give him at every turn.

- A weird, unconscious part of him deep down begins to enjoy your rivalry, almost wanting to see what punches you pull out next to disarm his constant losing battle to keep you out, but it gets squashed down the second he becomes aware of it.

- The rivalry is always at arms length, but sometimes he has to stop himself from replying with the same vaguely flirtatious tone you take on whenever he experiences a small win against you.

- He fights to make sure he doesn't have any potential of getting too into it.

- Things take a different turn, though, with the double blow of Alastor coming back and his on-off relationship with Valentino once again going up in flames.

- After stopping his usual monitoring of all things going on in hell online and in real life as picked up by his cameras, he presses his face into his hands with a long, exhausted groan as he fights crying.

- All the people he was actually interested in were as unrequited as per usual. He always tried so hard with Alastor, but as always, he never got anything but met with the clear reminder they would never be anything more.

- And, of course, any potential of anything more happening with Val was completely off the table. It would be stupid to even think about anything real with him.

- He shut his eyes, putting his screen on the desk in front of him.

- Was he just not worth it? Was that it?

- He startled when he heard the familiar crackle of the speakers coming to life around him. It was rare he ever heard your voice coming through his speakers, you usually preferring to just leave messages, however you decided to surprise him tonight apparently.

- Your blurred out face appears on the screens, only showing the lower half of your grinning face.

- "Oh Boooooxybooooy! I found some world-shattering cringey shit you did 2 months back, i-" You begin singing out, before stopping, seeing by his expression.

- Vox was trembling, looking as if he was about fall apart at any second. His monitor was dulled, red eyes half lidded with pixelated bags forming under them, his bottom lip slightly quivering around his sharp teeth.

- "What the- fuck- ....are you alright?" You asked unsurely.

- Vox finally snapped out of it, realising that you were here witnessing him in a way that was very much not something he wanted you of all people to see him in. His mask slid back on, but it was hardly convincing.

- "Of course it is. What the fuck do you wa-ant. I've got shit to do." He inwardly cursed as his voice glitched slightly. God fucking dammit why did you have to show up.

- He watched your lips on your mostly blurred out face slightly curl as you hummed, clearly not buying it.

- "You wanna stop with the lying bullshit and tell me the truth, Boxhead?" You somewhat chided him, your hand coming into sight as you leaned your cheek onto it. Vox let out a growling sound, going to spit some vitriol at you, but was cut off as you absentmindedly made your next comment.

"Felt you once again have a fit about the radio demon going online. Lights in my house and the houses out my windows started flashing and shit. Is it hi-" your brows shot up and eyes widened, this hidden behind the censorship as you watched Vox, leader of the Vees, your rival, let out a shuddering breath and actually start crying comically pixilated tears right before your eyes.

- Vox's claws gripped into his desk as he grit his teeth as he let out a gasping breath he fought to stifle. He was so goddamn exhausted that he just couldn't be assed to keep it all up anymore. It wasn't like you hadn't seen rather unsavoury things he'd been trying to hide anyways.

- "No shit it's about Alastor. It's always about him. Does it get you off knowing I can't get with the guy I have always wanted no matter how hard I try? There. Are you fucking happy now?" His voice cracks as he snarls the words out at you.

- You let out a long humming sound, as if thinking. "I mean, not really. I'd only be happy if you were this upset over me, not some old hazbin radio announcer who fell off years ago." You shrug with a slightly sad smile.

- Vox squinted at you, confused.

- "I mean, come on, I'm your rival too. Why neglect me so much in all this?" You press your bottom lip out in mock sadness, tone mocking again. Your words are true despite the joking tone however, it did bother you that he always seemed so much more ready to go running after the most obviously aroace man you think you had seen in your entire fucking life.

- Vox couldn't believe what he was hearing, hot embarrassment caused his monitor to start heating up a bit, painting animated flush over his cheeks. "Oh, stop taking the piss, U. Fuck off." He scoffed, rolling his eyes, looking to the side in irritation.

- You chuckle at him, shaking your head and causing the thing blurring your face to shake with it. "Is it really that hard to believe I'm into what we have going on here?" Your voice is still lined with the usual tone you take on with him, but much less so.

- Vox looks back at your blurred, smiling face incredulously. "Yes." He growled, blinking his tears away as he regained his composure a bit.

- You sigh heavily, rolling your eyes. "Ooookay, well, once you're done riding the coattails of a man who will never want you, come hit me up, Boxhead." You say through smiling lips, before abruptly pressing 'hang up' on the call so he didn't have time to actually respond.

- Vox sat in bewildered silence, not able to react properly as his brain felt as if it was working on low resolution comprehending what you just said.

- His face heated up the more he thought about it, heart beginning to hammer in his chest as he laughed in disbelief. No way. No fucking way.

- But you had said it.

- Despite his usual pessimistic nature, he allowed himself to actually believe it, chuckling.

- He looked over to his phone as a notification sound rang out to see a photo of himself presumably just now; flustered, eyes wide in disbelief and unfocused while staring off into space, a crooked grin on his face.

- It was captioned as follows; 'POV: local pathetic radio simp finds out other rival actually wants him'

- "FUCK." He yelled out in embarrassment, knocking out several of his monitors with a surge of electricity.

I loved writing this sm omfggg.

There's definitely part 2 potential to this one, but it would have to be in a while w all the other stuff I'm gonna get to first.

Masterlist

[pinkmirth]

Wait imagine being enemies to lovers with alucard

now, i love the sound of this! ( i think about it more than i should, tbh . . .) a mostly harmless , banter-like dynamic is what comes to mind, similar to what he’s got going on with trevor. you’re a sharp woman with an even sharper mouth, and as much as he admires your tenacity, alucard isn’t one to hold back from delivering his own petty retorts. you throw jabs at the vampiric man, and more often than not, he’ll bite.

at times, real disagreements ensue— over the proper way to effectively kill night creatures, how to reduce any casualties, how you think he’s passive, and how he sees you to be so incredibly brash. you’re defensive about doing things your way, as is he. you know how two people are just going at each other’s throats until they’ve found themselves face to face, chests heaving from the heat of their argument? yeah, that’s exactly where you find yourself now; alucard standing only inches before you, blonde brows drawn together with his cheeks dusted red from what you assume to be boiling rage.

once you finally acknowledge how slim the proximity between you is, you step away and coil your expression into one of distaste, attempting to mask the thrill of having him so close that his nose almost brushed yours. “you’re disgustingly pretentious,” you try snapping at him, though he can hear that bitter, mocking tone of your diminish. is it just him, or is he catching onto a bit of . . . softness? from someone like you, towards someone like him? it couldn't be. you can hardly stand him, anyway. he's sure that the only one harboring any affections, even in the slightest, is him. as much as you boil his blood and make his head spin, you're also able to make him laugh, motivate him to new heights. not that he'd ever admit it, though. you'd probably punch him square in the face.

“and you're far too stubborn. it wouldn't kill you to adapt, you know." he grunts, tucking a stray piece of hair behind his ear. would it be wrong of you to admit just how beautiful he is? "it might. i surely won't be taking my chances," you bump past him using your shoulder, and he scoffs upon impact. just as you attempt to zoom past the man, his lithe hand encircles your wrist and pulls you back into him.

against the wall is where you find yourself, with his tall, firm body keeping you pressed there. alucard's grasp is unrelenting, and he's far too strong for you to even try pulling away. his long, golden hair drapes over you, curtaining over you so that the only thing you can see is his cold, glowing eyes. "must you make everything so . . . fucking difficult?" you pray he can't hear it; the erratic thumping of your heart.

“unhand me, you fuck.” he does not. you've pushed him to the edge for the very last time. "why on earth do i put up with you?" he sourly chuckles, as though he's asking himself rather than you. he watches your shaken gaze scour his entire face— from his piercing eyes to his pale-pink lips. you're staring, hard. he much rather prefers gaining this kind of attention from you.

“then don't. i never asked you to." you spit, trying to yank away with no avail. he only shakes his head, closing in on you. at this rate, his lips and your own could practically touch.

“i can’t just leave you alone,” he rasps. you listen with a deep pause, and your breath is caught in your throat. “haven’t you noticed? as irksome as your company is, i can’t seem to go without it.” you finally understand— alucard, of all people, has taken a liking to you.

“so, you’re attached?” your laughter is taunting, and somehow, he’s come to love it. “unhealthily so.” he breathes out. his bottom lip grazes yours, and you shudder at even the slightest contact. god, how he’s already ruined you. “and what exactly will you do about that, alucard?” you call his name with a feigned amount of spite, and your lashes flutter up at him in that provoking way . . . fuck, he can feel himself getting harder beneath his trousers. alucard gives you this particular look, and that’s how you know he won’t be telling you— the man’s about to take initiative and show you, just as you’re always telling him to.

a deep, breathless kiss is what you get in response, one where his mouth are pressed to yours in a way where you can bite at his lower lip and he can groan into your mouth. he knew you’d like it this way— messy, heated, desperate. you suck at his tongue and cup his face, breaking away only after you’ve gotten a proper taste of him. you feel something firm nudge your thighs, and it gets you to peer down and take notice of his apparent bulge, straining at his fitted black pants.

“god, you’re pathetic,” your lips curve into a smile, teasingly taking his bottom lip between your teeth. you bring your knee up to press against his crotch, and his moan comes out sounding so broken. only the stars above could explain why your insults rouse him as much as they do. alucard pecks your lips once, then twice, with a quickness he knows will leave you chasing for more.

“for you, perhaps i am.”

[gay-dorito-dust]

You noted the fatigue in your partner within moments.

You noted how heavy his eyes would become.

You noted the way he would sigh deeply before rubbing his hands over his face as though it would keep him somewhat awake to push on.

You noted the slowing of his pace.

You noted the way he began to banter less and less with you, Ashley and Luis to the point he was borderline silent. He couldn’t seem to even be able to summon the energy to quip about anything you came across either.

You noted everything about Leon, it has became a trait you’ve developed over the time you became partners. He never once spoke of his issues, his fears, his insecurities. Nothing; But his body often betrayed his veil of mystery. And right now? He was tired, extraordinarily so and was in desperate need of rest.

You, being the best partner that you are, we’re about to give him just that.

‘Hey.’ You said softly as you finally caught Leon on his own. Lately it had seemed that he was purposely avoiding this very moment by creating situations where Ashley and Luis were needed to be within the same room as you both. You knew that Leon knew about your inherent sixth sense when it came to him. So this was his way of throwing you off of his tracks. Was it a bit childish? Yeah. Did it deter you from helping your friend? No. Not even in the slightest.

‘Hey.’ He replied, not once looking to face you. You sighed at his stubbornness and moved so that you were in front of him, where your eyes softened upon seeing his exhausted face, that your hands came up to reach his face and ran your thumbs softly against the dark bags that hung below his eyes; It truly broke your heart as you bare witness to him practically melt into your hands.

‘You’re tried.’ You told him.

‘No I’m not.’ Leon’s words would’ve fully convinced you had they weren’t slurred with sleep; Yet not so that it hindered his ability to fight against you. ‘Yes, you are.’ You laugh humourlessly. ‘You’re practically melting in my hands here Leon. When’s the last time you got sleep. Proper sleep.’ You intentionally added the last part when you felt him about to open his mouth, which he promptly then shut not too long afterwards.

His guilty silence spoke volumes and once again you were left to sigh disappointedly. ‘Leon…’

‘I’m not apologising for wanting to keep you safe.’ He barked, the lack of sleep having made him more prone to lashing out. ‘I’m not asking you to apologise for anything,’ you replied shortly, ‘I just don’t want you getting hurt and collapsing on us whilst in a compromising state.’

‘I haven’t yet have I?’ Leon questioned.

You huffed, he was actually starting to get on your nerves a little as you spoke through gritted teeth. ‘No but I wouldn’t want to tempt fate.’ Your partner growls as he tore himself away from your touch, ‘why? So I don’t become a liability?’ Just as he was about to walk away from you, he didn’t perceive the step behind him and almost took a fall has you not acted and caught him by the waist; pulling him into you.

‘Don’t do that,’ you scolded, ‘I thought you had gotten hurt just now.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Leon said against you. ‘I just didn’t want to seem weak or incompetent in front of Ashley, in front of Luis, but most importantly in front of you…my partner.’ You cooed internally at his confession and smiled at him. ‘You could never.’ You told him truthfully. ‘We all think highly of you Leon but you’re just as human as the rest of us and Luis and Ashley worry about you. I worry about you. My partner.’ You grip tightened on him.

‘So please, put yourself first this time.’ Leon looked into your eyes for a few seconds before giving in, resting his head against your forehead, sighing in defeat. ‘Fine.’ He said. ‘I’ll go to sleep but as long as you promise to be there as I wake. I’ve got to keep my eye on you so that you don’t do something impulsively stupid without me.’

You scoffed, ‘how can I? You’ve taken all the stupid with you?’

Leon chuckles, ‘bitch.’

‘Jerk.’ You replied almost instinctively as you helped carry him off the bed, where you sat bedside him, holding onto his hand until he awakes.

[synamartia]

I promise I haven't forgotten about this! Things have been a bit hectic in my personal life, and it feels like the hits just keep coming. But as a sign of good faith, I'll leave you all with another little snippet! Hopefully, it'll be the last one before I release the full story. On another note, as much as I LOVE the title Smutmus, I don't think that it's a fitting title anymore with the direction the story is taking - it's becoming a fully fledged fic with plot (which is one of the biggest reasons it's release has been delayed). So I will be renaming it in the future; just not sure what, yet. If you have any ideas, I would love to hear them! 🥰

Content Warnings: Again, none really. Afab!Reader ; No pronouns used ; Suggestive situations ; Nudity ; More light banter. If there's a warning anyone feels should be listed, please let me know!

Divider © cafekitsune

“Alastor, is that a tail?” you blurted out without thinking, immediately slapping both of your hands over your mouth right after. “Oh- that,” he said nonchalantly, moving to stand between your legs once more. Your body tensed as you awaited his reaction, so sure that you had just earned yourself a good scolding for such an impolite question. You hadn’t meant to be so bold or outright, but you’ve come to find that your body and your brain hadn’t been on the same page since the moment all of this began. “Yes, it’s a tail,” Alastor responded and turned slightly, swishing the puff of fur side to side a couple of times to amuse you before turning back. “I’m sorry, that was rude- …!?” you tried to apologize, but a surprised squeal interrupted your speech when his sharpened claws sunk into your posterior and he hoisted you up off the desk, your legs wrapping around his waist in the process.

“It’s alright, darling,” Alastor reassured you, spinning around and taking a few long strides to the rarely used bed. “While I’m not particularly fond of it, my tail isn’t something that I’ve ever gone out of my way to hide,” he explained, dropping you onto the mattress and climbing on top of you soon after, nestling himself in between your legs as you breathed a sigh of relief - albeit a short-lived one. He leaned down to whisper in your ear, causing your body to tense right back up with each word that left his mouth. “Although, you are correct - it was rude to ask such a thing,” he clicked his tongue in mock disapproval, his pointed teeth nipping at the shell of your ear then tugging on the lobe. “Perhaps I should give you a lesson in proper etiquette, hm?” Alastor mused, rolling his bare hips against yours and sending a shiver down your spine, not missing the flash of panic in your eyes when his words finally registered in your brain. 

‘Shit. Shit, shit, shit- fucking hell, fuck my life!’ you thought, trying to reel yourself back in and failing miserably. If this ‘lesson’ of his was anything like the punishment he had doled out earlier, you knew you were in for a rough night - one that would leave you physically incapable of walking out of his room come morning. “No- …! Al, no, no… i-it was just a slip of the tongue, I swear!” your pleas fell on deaf ears, his lips ghosting over the carotid artery in your neck, then over your collar bone and traveling further down to your breasts. “I’m sorry, please- …!” you spoke, only to be interrupted by Alastor’s stern gaze, looking up at you while he placed butterfly kisses to your chest and his teeth grazed your erect nipple. “I know you are, dear,” Alastor started, kissing further down to your navel, not breaking eye contact for even a millisecond. “But if ‘sorry’ fixed everything, there would be no hell, no demons, and we certainly would not be in this hotel,” he smiled wickedly, knowing that you couldn’t argue with the point he had just made - your silence proved as much.

Alastor continued to move south, soon reaching the delicious mound between your thighs which he had not known could be so fun, so intoxicating. But, as much as he wanted to devour you and everything you had to offer him, he was on a self-imposed mission now and couldn’t let himself get distracted. Heated breath fanning over your soaked core, Alastor lightly kissed and nipped at the insides of your thighs, past your knees and down your calves - stopping momentarily for a taste of your blood that was still seeping from your self-inflicted wound. He groaned as his tongue was coated in the coppery flavor of his new favorite thing, one hand wrapping around your ankle, his deft digits unclasping the strap of your heel and pulling it off, repeating the process with the other one and discarding both seconds later. 

Sighing softly, you wiggled your freed toes while Alastor began to kiss his way back up to your face. “W-well then… what would this lesson entail?” you asked nervously, resigning yourself over to your fate. Alastor chuckled darkly at your question, not bothering to answer you as he pressed his lips against yours harshly and pinched one of your pert nipples. “Mmph-phh!” you whined, your body flinching at the pain his digits were causing as he twisted the sensitive flesh between his thumb and forefinger. Alastor pulled back, his teeth dragging your bottom lip with him as far as it would go, releasing it and your nipple a few seconds later.

"On your knees."

[tubbytarchia]

Wild Life Session 4 smallidarity thoughts (+ some Scar and Lizzie)

See it was all fine, nothing to worry about!! Joel couldn't bring himself to kill Jimmy, he barely even harmed him. I'm pretty sure he shot him just once (after Jimmy trampled their crops so. fair)? Joel calmed down, he rebuilt his car, everything is fine. He says at the start that he's wary of Jimmy because of him going after Joel last time, and that's about it for the time being

Jimmy dies and Joel makes a deal out of it and calls him a muppet. As per usual. Meanwhile Jimmy is still adamant to get at Joel whilst Scar tries to deter him because they want to be an alliance

He and Jimmy meet up at some point after their brief interaction at the start where Joel shot him, and they just banter. And Gem and Scar are just standing there like "guyss we're a family come on" meanwhile Joel and Jimmy's exchange goes as follows: Jimmy: "you're the ones with tasty lives!" Joel: "yeah bet you wish you could have a chunk of me!" "Oh I'm having a chunk out of you!" "Yeah and you know where to take that chunk out of!" "Oh I'm gonna take it! I'm taking it!" "You should!" And then Gem and Scar tell them to break it up and Joel goes "we're just flirting!!" ? what the fuck? Genuinely WHAT are they talking about. is this an innuendo of some sort. is this another ambiguous smallidarity sex scene sorry who said that

Jimmy gets a double kill (in the most adorable way btw. The way he weasels his way in there and backs off and comes back to try again all crouched. animal) and goddd people hyping him up is so so sweet. He deserves this. He's also a little bit evil, he's getting the murder rush but I'm happy for him. He needs to kill more people, he needs to get this out of his system, he deserves this, things need to get worse before they get better. ANYWAY Scar all "that was the greatest kill ever on the life series" is so cute. And man I gotta agree. There's more unique and funny and impressive kills but I would not mind calling this the best just for the fact that it's Jimmy. He's competent, he can do shit like this, but it feels like most everyone and the world is continuously against his survival, but here he is... my son...

And then Joel coming up to congratulate him... Really blummin cute. In Joel's POV also, he says "I went to congratulate Jimmy and we had a moment" which I wager he might be referring to the creeper incident as 'the moment' but that'd make no sense to call it that. With that tonation. Why did he say it like that. Stop being cute

But yeah Scar tries to blow Joel up with creepers only for Joel to save him from his own creeper and he's so casual about it. He is incredibly kind to the bamboozlers, it's really cute...

And then Jimmy does it!! He gets Joel!! And he gets him real good!! And can you believe that the first person to kill either of the family duo is Jimmy, of all people. Scott has died by this point too and Jimmy is the one to make a dent in the full 6-life alliance. Crazy. I'm so proud of him. It was seriously really good too, see, when Jimmy puts his mind to something and is able to focus he excels, he really does. And Joel, oh Joel is such a good sport about it. He keeps saying how it was good and fair and that he still wants an allyship with him. Tells him "welcome back to green" aww. And they make a truce, Jimmy got it out of his system and now they can be friends and go kill other people instead and Joel is proud of him... Jimmy "Joel, I finally got you, so I will stop now, so let's do the perfect dap" and then they both count down and clap their hands to simulate slapping palms. Awesome. All of Joel and Jimmy is just really cute this time around. Very happy about them being a more proper alliance now, but we'll see if it sticks... Joel can only be so mean to Jimmy at this point though I don't think he has it in him to betray him or anything lol. Can't speak for the rest of them but not too worried for the smallidarity, it's a plentiful crop...

Also a very important exchange between Lizzie and Jimmy at some point: "I just finangled a load of diamonds off of Joel" "Oh? How did you do that?" "I asked him just really nicely" (lie btw she was moreso extorting Joel) "Oh, that doesn't work when I... I guess... you are his wife, I guess..." "Yeah..." "Lucky for some I guess- right (unrelated topic)" I'm not 100% confident that's what Jimmy said at the end, it's a bit hard to make out but. what? Hello?

I also extend gratitude towards Lizzie for being so nice and supportive of Jimmy, she was the one to suggest the cobweb creeper trap that ended up taking Joel out, but she also insisted that he drink a health restoration stew beforehand in case anything went wrong. Jimmy didn't end up doing so (he was full) and Lizzie is all "why?" and "something could have gone wrong". man. Nice to him...

[ace-of-zaun]

You (And I):

Silco x f!reader - 2.6k words - SFW

cw: best friend!silco, fluff, banter, mutual pining, idiots in love, mentions of cat-calling and harassment (not silco), mentions of poverty, soft silco my beloved, a little bit of angst in the form of reader being anxious about not knowing who is climbing through the window, but it's just the boy

summary: Your best friend misses you, so the only logical solution is for him to climb through your bedroom window at three in the morning, without telling you beforehand… It’s a good thing that you love him (and it’s an even better thing that he loves you too).

It’s taking you a little bit longer than usual to drop off to sleep as you lie in bed, curled up under the covers, trying to keep as much warmth in as possible. Your room is right at the very top of your parents’ bar, The Last Drop, which is also where you’ve just started to work full-time instead of just the odd job you’d helped out with growing up.

But now, with money for food tight and the threat of closure even tighter, you’ve found yourself doing pretty much anything to help keep the bar afloat, from running errands and setting up during the day to serving customers all evening and cleaning up after a long night. 

Your first proper job; you’d think with how exhausted you were you’d drop to sleep the very second your head hit the pillow. 

Not tonight, it would seem. Tonight your mind appears to be far too preoccupied to let your body relax. 

Your train of thought easily wanders to what you’d usually be doing on a Friday evening. More often than not you’d be holed up in the corner of a tiny café, trying to read your book while Silco asked your opinion on every little detail of whatever scheme he was working on at the time. 

Or you’d be forcing Silco to give you a piggyback through the streets after raiding the market for the cheapest items you can find, Vander in tow carrying all the loot. 

You can’t help but smile at the memories, a fuzzy, warm feeling spreading through you at the recollection of your best friend. Just the thought of him calms you; your lighthouse even in absentia. 

And it seems to do the trick, eyelids just starting to feel too heavy to keep open, a sure indicator of incoming sleep, when a scrabbling noise outside your window causes you to frown.

…you really hope you don’t have rats again.

Of course, the sensible thing to do would be to get up and investigate. But you’ve only just gotten warm and sleepy, and not only is the window on the other side of the room, but you’re laying on your side with your back to the glass, and honestly who in their right mind would want to get up in the freezing cold just to have a staring contest with some rats?

Scrunching your eyelids even tighter closed, as if it would block out the sound, you attempt to lull yourself back into that bliss you were so close to achieving, vowing to deal with the little rodents in the morning.

Almost like magic, the scrabbling stops and you sigh in relief.

Until you hear the unmistakable sound of the window creaking open.

Your eyes shoot open and your blood begins to pump urgently around your body. 

Fuck, why didn’t you lock the window before getting into bed? You must’ve forgotten in your sleep deprived state. 

One hand slowly inches towards the knife you keep under your pillow as two, almost-silent thuds resonate across the floorboards. 

Your heart practically leaps in your chest when you hear a series of soft footsteps approaching your bed, but you manage to keep yourself as still as possible, your only movement hidden beneath your pillow as you grip the knife handle tight.

A beat. Then another, as you wait for the exact right moment with bated breath. 

The intruder pauses by your bed and you inhale sharply, preparing yourself to strike.

Without warning, you abruptly swing your body around, throwing off the covers as you blindly leap towards them.

But they’re faster, shoving you back down against the bed with their lithe body and clapping a hand over your mouth before you can even think to scream out.

The knife slips from your hand, leaving it to clatter to the floor while you thrash about in your assailant’s grasp. 

“Stop it, it’s just me!” a familiar voice hisses down at you, halting your movements instantly.

You gaze up at the figure in bewilderment, slowly but surely recognising those jet black waves and hooked nose with every rapid heartbeat. 

It’s just Silco. 

He must spot the very moment that recognition sparks in your eyes because he’s soon grinning down at you, boyish, slightly crooked, and entirely too cheeky for his own good.

“Hey,” he says smoothly.

You push him off you with an unamused scoff, aiming to send him tumbling off the bed as you sit up and try to calm your erratic breathing. 

No such luck though, he just stumbles to his feet and quickly drops down next to you on the bed while you plant your feet on the cold wooden boards, running your hands through your bedraggled hair. 

Silco’s hand rests gently against your lower back and you glance up at him from your hunched up position of elbows on knees, palms against your forehead. 

You’re filled with the sudden urge to yell at him. Loudly. 

But your parents are asleep and they’ll be positively furious if they discover Silco in your bedroom in the middle of the night, so you settle for hissing at the ridiculous boy like an angry cat. 

“What the fuck are you doing climbing through my bedroom window at half three in the morning?”

Silco appears completely unfazed. 

“I left my lockpick at home, so I couldn't get in through the front door,” he replies, swiftly dodging the smack you try to deliver to his arm and instead catching your hand to press a chaste kiss to your knuckles. “And I missed you.”

You roll your eyes and snatch your hand back, but you’re unable to prevent your heart from swelling in your chest at his sweet words. Damn that natural charm of his. 

Luckily, a glance down at the knife by your feet distracts your wandering heart. 

“Why didn’t you say anything? I could’ve stabbed you.”

“Nah, you couldn’t,” he says dismissively until you shoot him a murderous glare. He returns it with a nonchalant shrug. “Thought you were asleep.”

“So why even bother climbing in?” you ask with a frown. 

And then, from the corner of your eye, he begins to look the tiniest bit bashful, gaze dropping to the floor as he starts to draw random shapes on the material of his trousers with his nails. 

“I, uh… I was gonna wake you up and ask if you wanted to go skip stones in the river.”

Your expression drops as you slowly turn to stare at him, which he meets with a dorky little grin. You groan and flop back down onto your bed, swinging your feet up so you can lay your head against the pillow, completely and utterly exasperated. 

Your best friend has been possessed by a five-year-old boy, you’re sure of it. 

Silco watches your dramatic display with clear amusement. 

“I’m gonna take that as a no, then?” he asks. 

“How do you have so much energy?” you whine, throwing your arm up to hide your face in the crook of your elbow. “Didn’t you have work today?”

“I had some work today,” he says, eyes quickly darting away from you. “Just not at the mines.”

Now this causes you to frown, peering over your arm at his trying-too-hard-to-look-relaxed body language. 

“What kind of work?” you question, which he promptly ignores, so nudge him with your foot, concern growing by the second. “Sil… what kind of work?”

He lays down next to you, propped up on his side with one elbow, and starts absentmindedly playing with your hair. 

“So, how was your day? You didn’t get any creeps trying to feel you up again, did you?”

You sigh heavily, knowing you’re not going to get an answer to your question. To be honest, you wish you didn’t have to give one to his. 

It had only happened once or twice since you’d started working late shifts in the bar, and it hadn’t been as bad since your parents had begun to shut it down everytime a patron got a bit too touchy. 

But it still didn’t make it right. 

“No, just the odd comment,” you reply, suddenly overly-interested in your nails. 

Silco wraps his arm around you and pulls you onto your side so he can hold you against his chest, chin resting on the crown of your head. 

“I’ll hang around during your next shift and kill anyone who even looks your way,” he declares, with a ridiculous amount of conviction. 

You roll your eyes even though he can’t see. Dramatic boy. 

“Don’t be stupid,” you say, lightly tapping your palm once against his back as a half-hearted scold. 

“You’re right,” he agrees with a resolute nod. “I’ll let you kill them yourself, you deserve it.”

Your sigh is laced with exasperation but you still shift to cuddle him properly, arms wrapped around his midsection. You just want to enjoy his presence while you have it, even if he is a pain in your ass. 

“I missed you too,” you say quietly after a peaceful silence, recalling his words from earlier. “It sucks working so much, I feel like I never see you anymore.”

“I know,” he hums soothingly, hand now rubbing tiny circles into the small of your back. “Just means we gotta make the most of the times we do.”

Snuggling him even tighter feels like the only appropriate response, so that’s what you do. 

You could honestly stay here forever. No responsibilities, no stress, just Silco. 

“You free tomorrow lunch? We could grab something to eat and then climb up to the roof of that factory by the river, if you want?” Silco asks. 

A warm smile tugs at your lips.

“Yeah, I’m free.” 

Your parents had been kind enough to give you the afternoon off tomorrow, but you were still expected to help out in the morning and evening as usual.

“Is Vander coming too?” you ask.

Silco shakes his head above you. 

“Nah.”

“Oh,” you respond, surprised the third member of your ragtag trio won’t be joining you. “Why not?”

“I thought it could just be a you and me thing, you know?” Silco reasons confidently, although you do spot just a hint of insecurity in his voice, like he’s nervous you’ll interrogate him further. 

Butterflies twirl through your stomach at the phrasing. You and him. You and Silco. A duet in this city of lonely hearts. 

“Okay. That sounds nice,” you say, trying to keep the smile out of your voice. 

He squeezes you once before he sits up a little, twisting around to pick the duvet up from off the floor. The covers are soon pulled over you both, where he tries to wrap his arms around you once more only to be met with you aiming little kicks at his legs. 

“Oi, shoes off, you heathen,” you demand, ripping the duvet away from him. “I just washed these.”

Seriously, you didn’t spend all morning washing, drying, and ironing all your clothes and bedding just for him to muddy them with his filthy shoes. Janna knows where he’s been in them or what he might’ve stepped in (especially considering you’ve never seen him clean them in all the years you’ve known him).

“Alright, alright,” he grumbles, muttering a sardonic little,“Bossy boots,” under his breath. 

Surprisingly, he does actually take the time to unlace them and even places them carefully under the bed, instead of just lobbing them across the room like you expect him to. 

Only then do you allow him back under the covers, shifting about until you’re both comfortable in each other’s arms, legs tangled together to ensure you’re as close as possible. 

“You know, you should really lock your bedroom window,” Silco comments after a few moments. “You never know who could be lurking about this time of night.”

You huff an amused breath through your nose.

“What, like you?”

“No, like some weirdo with nefarious ideas,” he insists, annoyed that you’re not taking him seriously.

You pull back in his arms to look him square in the face.

“...so, you?”

Silco pouts so adorably, you have to hold yourself back from just kissing him right there and then. 

“You’re mean,” he says, looking like a little boy who has just had one of his toys stolen in the playground.

In lieu of kissing him, you boop him on the nose with your finger and give him a cheeky, affectionate grin.

“You love it.”

But your heart sinks in your chest when Silco’s face drops, gazing at you intently as if he’s searching for something. Then his gaze darts away, the tips of his ears turning red, and you start to panic that you’ve said or done the wrong thing.

Instinctively, your hands hold him a little bit tighter, scared that he’ll just get up and go. 

“You know, my parents are going to kill me if they see us in bed like this,” you whisper over his shoulder, desperately trying to lighten the mood before he scarpers. 

“Well, as long as they don’t kill me, then that’s fine,” he whispers back, and you can tell by his timbre that he’s smiling through the words. 

You smack his shoulder, relief flooding through you in abundance. 

“Idiot.”

There’s a pause. 

Then, he says tenderly, (almost too tenderly for your poor heart).

“...Yes, but I’m your idiot.”

Patterns are happily traced against his back until you finally notice just how tired you are, leaning back to twist your head away from him so you can yawn into your hand. 

Silco watches you quietly, stroking your cheek with his thumb like a slow, soothing metronome. 

“You should get some sleep,” he says softly, his expression etched in quiet adoration. 

Your eyebrows lift at the sheer audacity. 

“Bitch, you’re the one who woke me up,” you protest sleepily.

He makes a show of turning to look over his shoulder and then back at you, pointing at his sternum with a quizzical frown. 

“Who? Me?”

So, you sneak your cold hands up against the back of his warm neck until he yelps. Silco wrestles your hands off his neck, clasping them in between his palms until he lets you tiredly wrestle them back and smoosh your face into his chest, giggling into the front of his shirt. 

He gently runs his hands through your hair as you both settle down once more, his own quiet laughter feeling like a blessing.

You almost don’t want to sleep now. You don’t want to miss any more time with him. 

“Sil?” you murmur. 

“Yeah, Squidge?” he replies.

Your nickname, from the time he threw a leftover tentacle at you from Jericho’s, named after the absolutely ridiculous noise it made when it slapped against your face. You love to hate it, which of course only makes Silco love it more. 

“We’re always gonna be best friends, right? No matter what?” you say, deep down hoping you don’t sound too clingy. 

You just can’t bear the thought of drifting apart from him. You honestly don’t know what you’d do without him. 

Luckily, he soothes your worries without even a hint of the usual teasing.

“Absolutely,” he affirms, carefully running his nails along your scalp in a calming, repetitive motion. “You’re stuck with me now, come rain or smog.”

“Good,” you nod happily. “Just checking.”

Basked in Silco’s warmth, you’re far too exhausted and cosy to fight against closing your eyes, drifting off to sleep while the boy presses a delicate kiss to your head. 

And right before you fall, he mumbles, oh so gently, into your hair.

“As if I’d want to be anywhere in this world except right here next to you, my perfect girl.” What a coincidence. There’s nowhere you’d rather be than right here, next to him.

[stop-talking]

So I'm stuck on this shithole island, and I can't even have a smoke? (pt. 5)

Derek Danforth x fem reader

Word count: 4k

Tags: 18+, Derek x fem reader, no use of y/n, angst, lots of fluff, enemies, enemies to lovers, fluff, (very) slowburn, sass, banter, misogynistic undertones, (Derek is a prick), suggestive themes, mentions of drug use, withdrawals, rehab, masturbating.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6

─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────────

To celebrate a week of sobriety, you decide to surprise Derek with a cake.

Of course, since there isn't exactly a bakery on a remote island, you had to bake it yourself.

Which you did. Last night. Now you stand in the kitchen, wondering how exactly you should decorate the damn thing.

And what to write on it?

"Congrats, maybe now you'll live past 40!" No, that's morbid.

"Bye-bye blunts and blow!" Too cringy.

"Happy one-week?" Hmm... that sounds like an anniversary thing.

Damnit. Maybe this isn't a situation that calls for cake after all. You sigh and continue to mumble random slogans to yourself as you slather the icing on nice and thick.

It looks a little messy, but you're not exactly a professional baker. Which is unfortunate, because that's probably exactly what he's used to. Oh well. It's the thought that counts, right?

You just want to show him how proud you are. He really has changed a lot over the past week, surprising you every day with how... normal he can be. When he wants to, at least.

Picking up a piping bag of green icing, you start placing decorative dollops around the edge of the cake. Some of them are a little lopsided, but it doesn't look too bad overall.

What now? You mindlessly lick some stray icing off your wrist and stare down at the gaping blank space in the middle of the cake.

Eventually, you settle on three words.

"Proud of you."

It's fitting. He has a lot to be proud of. Not just the sobriety stuff, but everything.

He's been picking up new skills every day. You smile as you tidy up the cake decorating mess strewn about the counter, thinking back to your first time cooking with Derek.

He'd been cocky and overconfident, and so utterly dumbfounded when that pancake met a splatter-y death on the stovetop.

And yet, he still got back up and tried again. After relentless pestering from you, obviously, but it still counted.

You stand back and survey your work. Cream colored icing, green lettering, and... okay, maybe the hearts were a bit much. Hopefully he didn't get the wrong idea. You're just... proud. That's all.

Now the only thing missing is Derek. He went upstairs an hour or so ago for a nap, mumbling something about a headache. Poor thing.

He's been so damn clingy lately, always touching you in some way or another. It seemed almost subconscious for him at times. A hand on your shoulder, his knee against yours, an arm around your waist... no matter what you were doing, he had to have physical contact.

You smile as you make your way upstairs to his room. Maybe today would be the day you finally give him a proper hug.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

Derek is woken from his fitful sleep to the sound of you calling out his name.

Usually, that would be a welcome sound. You're always such a good distraction from his withdrawals.

But right now? He just wants to sleep. No, more than that. He wants to hibernate, to go into a goddamn coma and never have to wake up again.

"Can I have another twenty minutes?" He croaks, lifting his head from the mess of pillows to call out to you.

Apparently he can't, because he hears the door click open, and you peek your head in through the crack.

Derek just groans and buries his face back into the bed. His sheets and blankets are a tangled mess, and he's twisted himself into an awkward angle throughout his nap.

"Come on, It's been over an hour already." Derek can feel the bed shift as you take a seat on the edge.

"Well I'm still fuckin' exhausted." He mumbles into the pillow, not bothering to turn and look at you.

"Derek. You should know by now I'm not gonna let you rot in bed all day."

The almost sarcastic tone in your voice is what finally breaks him. This week has been hell, and you're just mocking him.

He hasn't only given up drugs this week, but all of his servants and staff as well. It was one thing to help you with cooking, but yesterday you'd made him do laundry. LAUNDRY. What the fuck did he look like? A maid?

"Fuck off." He grumbles a little louder, pushing your hand away as you reach to play with his hair.

His sour attitude apparently doesn't deter you any, because he can hear you laughing at him. Derek grits his teeth and finally sits up, glaring at you.

"You're really fucking annoying, you know that? Always pissing me off."

The words leave his mouth before he can really think them through, and when he sees your smile fall he immediately regrets them.

Unfortunately, he's too tired, sick, and stubborn to take it all back. Even while his heart drops into his stomach, he continues to glare daggers at you.

"Alright... twenty more minutes." With that, you slide off his bed and quickly make your way to the door.

Fuck. As soon as the door closes, Derek is left in darkness, in more ways than one.

His stomach twists into knots and he can feel his chest grow heavy. He tries to scramble after you, but gets caught in the tangle of blankets and ends up falling to the floor instead.

God damn it. Why does he always have to be such a fuck up? You aren't annoying. You're the only thing keeping him sane right now, and he goes and pushes you away.

He collapses on the floor, sighing at the feeling of the cold hardwood against his cheek. A few tears roll down his face, and he laughs bitterly as a thought crosses his mind.

Your thighs make a much better pillow than the floor.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

Twenty minutes later, you knock at Derek's door once more. He mumbles something incomprehensible, and you take that as permission to enter.

The sight in front of you makes you pause. What the hell is he doing? You flip the lights on just to make sure your eyes aren't playing tricks on you.

They aren't.

Derek Danforth lies on the floor next to his bed, groaning and blinking up at the harsh overhead light.

"Looks real comfortable down there." You tease, setting the glass of water you brought him on his bedside table before joining him on the floor.

He refuses to look at you, throwing his arm over his eyes and groaning.

"You need to eat. And drink. I brought you some water."

Derek stays quiet as you sit next to him and place a hand on his shoulder. His lips are pressed into a tight line, and he's still hiding behind his arm.

"Why are you so goddamn nice?" He finally groans.

"We've already had that talk."

"Okay, then why are you so goddamn nice even when I'm being a prick?"

You move his arm away from his face, and he doesn't fight it. When you finally get a look at him, it's obvious he's been crying.

Derek Danforth. Crying on his bedroom floor. That's a sight.

A sight that really breaks your heart, actually. His watery eyes threaten to make yours overflow as well, so you quickly wipe away his tears with the hem of your shirt.

"You think I expect you to go through three weeks of rehab and not be a prick sometimes?"

Derek actually chuckles at that, and finally meets your gaze. He looks absolutely wrecked.

"I didn't mean what I said earlier."

"I know."

You scoot a little closer, and gently tug at him. He takes the hint, placing his head on your lap with his cheek against your thigh.

Neither of you talk for a few minutes. He just closes his eyes and sighs as you play with his hair. Over the past week, you've learned what he likes. Tug at his curls in just the right way, and he...

Derek lets out a soft whimper and you smile. There it is.

"Wanna make it up to me?" You tease.

He glances up at you, an eager look in his eyes.

"How?"

"Get rid of this." You laugh and trail a finger along his jawline, feeling at his overgrown stubble. He most likely hasn't shaved since arriving here a week ago.

"What? You don't like it?"

"Do you?"

"..."

Derek pouts, pushing your hand away and feeling at it himself. His brow furrows adorably as he considers your words.

"It looks manly."

"There's a difference between manly and cave-man-ly."

He scoffs at that, but when you start poking and prodding at his face where his stubble has grown out, he cracks a smile.

"Fine, fine. You win. I'll shave."

He swats your intrusive hands away, then sits up and stretches.

Now that he's up and moving, you decide it's time to go. On your way out the door, you hesitate, remembering the reason you came to get him in the first place.

"Oh, don't take too long. I have a surprise waiting for you downstairs."

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

Derek stares at himself in the bathroom mirror, feeling at his stubble. You're right, he does look better with a trim.

He knows he should head downstairs, but his heart is beating a million times a second, and not even from withdrawals.

That little comment about a surprise? God damnit. You're teasing him. You have to be. How could you say something like that and not expect him to get excited?

Derek sighs and tucks his boner into the waistband of his boxers, then looks at himself in the mirror one more time to make sure it isn't noticeable. It's not... mostly.

Damnit. He could probably take a few minutes and rub one out, but he'd absolutely die of embarrassment if you walked in on him AGAIN.

He groans and turns to leave. Oh well. It's hidden well enough, and you'd already seen worse. Plus... maybe if this surprise is anything like his fantasies, he'd have an opportunity to use it.

"Oh, wait wait wait!" You scramble over to him as he trudges downstairs, keeping him from entering the living room.

"Are you gonna tell me what my surprise is?"

"No! Then it wouldn't be a surprise at all. Close your eyes."

Derek does as instructed, shutting his eyes tight. When feels you grab his hand and start to tug him along, he can't help but sneak a peek.

"I swear... if your Idea of a surprise is to walk me into a wall-"

"Oh, shut it." You scoff and clap your free hand over his eyes.

"Just trust me. And no peeking."

Derek grumbles, but he does trust you. A lot more than he lets on. So, he blindly stumbles along as you lead him into the... kitchen? Yeah, he's pretty sure he's in the kitchen.

"Okay, you can look." You uncover his eyes, but keep a tight hold on his hand as you beam at him.

"What do you think?"

What does he think?

What does he think?

Derek chokes up at the sight before him, and has to turn his head so you don't see the way his eyes are watering again.

A cake. You baked him a fucking cake to say you're proud of him. And he called you annoying.

"It's to celebrate being a week sober." You explain, leaning over to try and catch a glimpse of his face.

He squeezes your hand tightly, but can't get any words out.

"A week." He whispers, blinking back tears. Fuck, has it been a week already? It feels like hardly a day has passed.

"Oh, love. C'mere."

Derek lets himself be pulled into your arms. He groans from your touch, melting into the embrace and burying his face in your neck.

God, this is perfect. He's wanted to be held like this for so long, but now that it's finally happening... he can't help but feel guilty.

"I'm such an ass." He mumbles into your neck, lips pressed to your skin.

"Not always." You laugh softly and pull him a little closer.

Too close. He can feel your breasts pressing against him... fuck. Any closer and you might be able to feel what he has tucked away.

"Not always?" Derek scoffs, pulling back just enough to look you in the eyes.

"Is that really the best you've got to make me feel better?"

"What? You want me to lie?"

"Maybe."

He stares into your eyes, heart pounding in his chest as he suddenly realizes just how close you are. It takes everything in him not to lean in and bridge the few inch gap between the two of you.

"You look nice like this."

Derek can feel his face heating up as you cup his face with a hand. Shit, If you don't stop soon he might actually just kiss you.

"Like what?" He asks breathlessly, mesmerized by your touch.

"With a trim." You smile and run your thumb along his his stubble, eyes trailing from his jaw to his lips.

For a second, Derek is sure you're going to kiss him. He tilts his head ever so slightly in anticipation, and his eyes flutter shut.

"So... you want a piece of cake?" You clear your throat, suddenly dropping your arms and breaking the embrace.

Of course you weren't going to kiss him. Derek gives you a half-hearted smile and nods, trying to hide just how crushed he feels.

"Yeah, sure. Cake."

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

"No, love, you're supposed to do the edge pieces first."

You chuckle as Derek angrily fumbles with two puzzle pieces. They quite obviously don't match, but he's trying to force them together anyways.

"Sorry, I wasn't aware puzzles had rules." He scoffs, dramatically tossing the little cardboard chunks across the table.

You'd dragged him out to the porch for a little fresh air, since he insisted he was too tired to make the five minute walk down to the beach.

"Well, they do. The biggest rule is don't throw the puzzle pieces, or you'll lose them." You laugh and continue flipping pieces over so they're facing upwards.

It hasn't been very long since you started the puzzle, and Derek already looks bored.

"Is this supposed to be fun?" He grumbles, helping you flip over pieces with one hand, the other finding it's way to rest on top of yours.

You wonder if he even notices he's doing it again. Touching you like that. You've gotten used to it by now, and usually just let it happen.

"Oh, come on. You gonna let a puzzle get the best of you, Danforth? A child could do this."

Derek makes a face and gestures to the sea of little cardboard scraps scattered across the table.

"A child could do a one thousand piece puzzle?" He scoffs.

"Okay, maybe not..." You laugh and adjust your hand, intertwining your fingers with his.

"But I'm sure you can do it."

Derek's face flushes pink, and you aren't sure whether its from the praise or the way you're so casually holding his hand. Probably both. But so what if you're holding his hand? He's the one who started it.

He just mumbles something under his breath and looks back down at the table, suddenly very motivated to help you pick through the pieces.

His hand doesn't leave yours.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

Derek wakes up from a deep sleep to the sound of your voice and the feeling of your nails gently scratching his scalp.

He gasps and tries to sit up, but finds he's stuck.

Er, not stuck, just... underneath you?

"Come on, love. You slept through nearly the whole movie." You laugh softly and start to nudge him off your lap.

Derek finally remembers what's going on, and pulls his arm out from under you. Apparently he'd tucked it beneath your knees while he slept, because he sure didn't remember doing it.

"Told you a chick flick would put me to sleep." He mumbles, fumbling to sit up. He finds his other arm is also stuck, wedged in between your waist and the couch.

"Sure made yourself comfortable, huh?" You tease, scooting forward and freeing him.

"Shut up." Derek reluctantly pulls away from you, sitting up and looking at you with a dazed expression. He wipes the drool from the corner of his mouth and groans. That really was a good nap.

"It's just so easy to fall asleep on you." The words come out before he can really think over them, and he freezes in embarrassment. Thankfully, you seem to take it in a different way than he meant it.

"Oh, am I that boring? I put you to sleep?"

"Exactly. I'm yawning already." He teases, letting out an exaggerated yawn that only earns him an elbow to the ribs.

"Hmph. Next time you can fall asleep somewhere else."

"But you're so damn comfortable." He whines, scrambling after you as you make your way upstairs. You can't leave him yet. You just can't.

"Well, your bed is plenty comfortable as well. Go to sleep."

Derek is suddenly struck with a thought, and takes your hand before you can slip away into your room for the night.

"What if..." He starts, placing his other hand on your hip and pulling you a little closer.

"What if I don't want to sleep in my bed tonight?"

You give him an incredulous look, and Derek can hardly believe the words that just came out of his mouth. Fuck, you're going to reject him. He just knows it.

"My bed?" You ask, raising an eyebrow and looking down at the way his hand is gripping your hip.

Derek can hear his heart pounding in his ears. He's being WAY too forward, and probably seems like a creep. Damnit.

"I... I just won't be able to sleep without you. I know it." He stutters, stumbling over his words. It's the truth, though. The only time he's been able to sleep peacefully lately is when he's touching you.

"Derek, love..." You chuckle and start to brush his hands away, taking a step back.

Fuck. He needs to show you how serious he is about this.

"Please? Just for tonight?" He grabs both of your hands, intertwining your fingers with his as he meets your gaze. You said he has puppy-eyes or something, right? Derek does his best to look pitiful.

It's not hard to do. He really does feel pitiful in this moment, begging you so blatantly. He might as well get on his fucking knees.

"Fine." You finally relent, groaning and gently shoving Derek aside as you head into your bedroom.

"But I hope you know I kick in my sleep."

"I don't mind taking that risk."

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

After quickly getting ready for bed, you settle down under the covers while Derek stands awkwardly to the side.

"Well? You gonna join me?" You ask, patting the spot next to you.

God, how did you get roped into this? Him and those damn puppy eyes. He's so hard to say no to.

"Oh, uh, yeah." Derek scrambles to climb into bed beside you. He looks like he's having just as much trouble believing what's happening.

"Sleeping with you wasn't really in my job description, you know. I'm complaining to your mother after this."

"Please don't." He groans, squirming and getting comfortable under the shared blanket. He keeps his distance, seeming content just to be in the same bed as you.

"You gonna sleep in that?" You lift the blanket to peek at his outfit, a simple t-shirt and sweatpants.

"Yeah? What's wrong with it?" He pouts and tugs the blanket back down, acting self-conscious.

"Nothing, just... You aren't going to be hot?"

"Are you trying to get me to take my pants off, sweetheart?"

"God, no. I've seen enough of that."

Your teasing clearly gets to him, because he rolls over to face away from you, grumbling. You swear his ears are a little pink. Is he blushing?

"Oh, love. I'm just messing with you." You scoot a little closer to him, and put a hand on his waist.

"I know." He whispers, breath hitched.

"Is it okay if I do this?"

He groans when you get even closer, spooning him from behind. Your arm wraps around his waist and you press your entire body against his.

"M-maybe I will get hot..." He mumbles, but makes no effort to push you away. Instead, he completely melts under your touch, relaxing against the pillow.

"Keep your pants on, Danforth."

"Yes ma'am."

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

Derek has been in bed with you for what feels like hours, (though really only around half of one), and he still can't believe what's happening.

Your arm is around his waist, holding him tight while the rest of your body is pressed up against him. He can feel your breasts pressing into his back, and your lips on his neck.

He almost wishes you'd kiss him, but that would probably send him over the edge.

And God, is he dangerously close to the edge right now.

His heart is pounding, heartbeat in synch with the throbbing in his pants. He's been hard ever since you cuddled up to him, but no way in hell is he going to ask you to stop. Not ever. Even if it kills him.

Scratch that. It is going to kill him. Derek can't help but let out a whimper as his dick twitches in his sweatpants.

Fuck. Your hand is right there, on his stomach. If you'd just slide it down a little...

"What's wrong?" You mumble, giving him a tight squeeze and nuzzling against the back of his neck.

"O-oh. Just... headache... Don't feel good..."

He feels like a total prick for lying to you, but what is he supposed to say? Yeah, totally fine, just horny as fuck? He'd rather die.

"Aww... I've got you, love."

Derek's breath hitches as you throw your leg over him. He can feel your thigh pressed up against his side, and the way you squeeze him feels heavenly.

He whimpers again, and starts to squirm slightly in your grasp. Fuck, if you keep this up he's not going to be able to control himself.

You continue to gently squeeze, rub, and cuddle him, whispering words of comfort with your lips pressed against the back of his neck. He can feel your hot breath on him, your breasts against his back, your hand on his stomach, your leg wrapped around his...

He can feel everything. And it's driving him insane.

Okay, okay, fuck. He can fix this. He just needs a quick release. That's all.

Derek starts to form a plan in his head, fueled by desperation and lust. Once he's mostly sure you're asleep, he slips his hand down into his boxers.

Biting back a moan, he slowly starts to jerk himself off. Painfully slow. He can't risk waking you up.

It's so fucking hard to not go faster, or move, or make a sound. Fuck, it's just so hard. Period.

He didn't really think this through, huh? Asking to sleep in your bed. Next time he'll jerk off first. If there is a next time. Damnit. If you catch him like this, you'll never speak to him again. He's sure.

Trembling, he accidentally lets a small whine slip out. Even with the absolute minimum amount of stimulation, he's close to finishing.

"Hnngh... Derek? You okay?"

Fuck. You're awake.

"Huh? Yeah, just... nightmare..." He chokes the words out, hand still wrapped around his cock as he slowly milks out a steady trickle of precum.

"It's okay." You whisper, holding him even tighter. "I'm right here."

Yeah, and that's the his damn problem. Your words and touch send him spiraling over the edge, and he bites his lip with nearly enough force to draw blood as he comes in his sweatpants.

It's not the most satisfying orgasm, seeing as he could barely touch it... but it still feels so much better than being that fucking horny with no release.

"Thank you..." Derek groans, praying that you don't ever discover the double meaning behind his words.

He had originally planned to sneak away and clean himself up, but with the way you're clinging to him...

Fuck. Guess he's sleeping in wet sweatpants.

─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────────

Author's note: Oh my goddd, sorry for such a long wait on this chapter!!! I've been wanting to write this scene FOREVER, but I also wanted to get it right!!

I love putting Derek in uncomfortable situations. Not sorry.

Also its crazy to me that I've written 16 thousand words of fanfic for a character that had 20 minutes of screen time and then fucking DIED 💀

Anyways... expect the next chapter in 2-3 days. Thanks for all the love and support!!!

Part 6

[neverfindmegone]

Hi people, so I'm not a writer and I never wrote anything but my darling @pinkthrone445 is always writing the most amazing things, so I wanted to write this in her honor. Sorry if it's extremely silly and not well written but is my first try 🖤

What I can see

You and Melissa had been friends for a couple of months now. You met the red head during your first day in Abbot. You were nervous as hell to work as a teacher's aid, but you have always loved children and working with them was a dream.

At first, Melissa wasn't very friendly, she was extremely sarcastic, making fun of you every chance she got.

You still remember your first meeting, Ava had come to introduce you to the red head and you couldn't form one proper sentence, being stunned by her beauty.

- What's the matter Hon, did the cat get your tongue?

After that you started to spend more and more time with the older woman, and the intimidation you felt started to turn into a deep admiration. Being her helper was such an interesting job, the learning range was big, from teaching kids with special needs to having the number of a guy who could help you with racoon problems.

Yes. Melissa was an interesting woman and you started to fall for her more and more each day.

At first you believed to be a innocent crush, but the more you had one on one conversations, you saw that you couldn't stop thinking about what hurricane of a woman she was. Her presence, her personality, her looks, you were completely obsessed. What resulted in you finding every excuse possible to be around her all the time. You would bring her coffee, invite for lunches, drinks, movies almost every week after work.

Melissa seemed to appreciate the extra attention you gave her, sometimes you could swear you caught her staring when she thought you weren't looking.

Her bright green eyes shined when you overshared and her hands always found away to touch you, shoulders, hands, thighs.

That's how you found yourself in the current situation. Ava was giving one of her Ava speeches, and you had Melissa sitting right next to you, her arm touching yours. You were caught giving her looks from the corner of your eye, every time your skins would brush.

- Does she sound drunk to you? She whispered in your ear.

The hairs on the back of your back stood up immediately and you were frozen for a second. Her breath ghosting your skin made you feel dizzy whenever she was this close to you. Damn this woman had put you wonder a spell or something. When did you start to be so easily affected?

Melissa noticing your lack of response, shoved your arm slowly. - You okay?

- Yes, I mean no, not drunk, maybe hung over? I saw on her Insta last night, she was at the club until late.

- Club on a Wednesday? That's brave even for her. She eye rolled, looking back at the stage.

- Come on Schemmenti. You looked at her. - Can't you handle going out on a school night?

Her head snapped immediately, green eyes finding yours, nostrils inflating. You liked teasing her, it was a part of the flirting banter you had going on.

You raised both of your eyebrows challenging her. - Too old?

- Are you kidding me kid? You, me, club tonight. She said snapping, challenging you back.

- Deal, I'll pick you up at 7.

---

Later that night, you knocked on Melissa's door at 7:15. A bit late, but nothing that would bother the older lady. When the door was opened, your jaw dropped. She was wearing a tight red dress, her creamy cleavage completely in display.

You couldn't stop staring at her breasts, your breathing getting elaborated. This was definitely the rack from God.

Melissa's voice broke up you from your paralysis. - What's the matter hon? Am I over dressed?

You frowned, seeing her insecurity.

- Are you kidding me? Mel, you look... You paused, your eyes raking over her body up and down slowly. - Exquisite.

- Really? I'm not sure about this. She said entering the house, with you following. - I had other options. She gestured for you to follow her into the bedroom.

- Maybe these black jeans? She pointed to the bed, where a bunch of clothes were scattered. - I haven't been to a club in a while, I don't know what I was thinking.

You looked around seeing the mess in the room, realizing that she was probably over thinking this. You wanted nothing more than reassure her, this woman was divine, how couldn't she know that?

- No, you look perfect, I promise.

Melissa made a face, showing that she didn't believe you, she walked to the large mirror in the corner of her room, before standing there, observing herself. Her hands moved over her dress, tiding it up. - Am I too old for this?

- Melissa, please. You giggled, how did this goddess believe she was too old for anything. That's when you remember your teasing earlier, you started to feel guilty. She wouldn't have been upset over that, would she?

- Is this about earlier? You asked approaching her. - Let me show you something. You continued, moving yourself behind her in the mirror slowly, afraid to scare her away. Your desire was to prove to the woman how gorgeous she really was.

- What do you really think? She said looking at you, finding your eyes in the mirror.

You moved your hands to her hips gently, holding her in place, while making eye contact with her.

- I think you will be the hottest woman there. You squeezed her hips gently, before giving them a tap. - Come on.

Melissa huffs, before looking at you with vulnerable eyes. - Oh please.

You move closer, keeping your eyes on hers, before resting your chin on her shoulder. - I don't think you are aware of the effect you have on people. Your arms hugged her from behind while you spoke.

The older woman eyerolled. - Huf, you have to say that, you're my friend.

- Melissa stop. You moved your hands to hers, before squeezing them. - Please see what everyone can see... What I can see.

She blushed deeply. - Listen kid, I...

You moved closer in a fast manner, making her stop talking. You pressed your front against her back completely, before starting - First, look at these arms. You moved your hands up and down her shoulders gently. - They are muscular and strong.

You felt her tense up, looking at you with uncertainty. You gave her a wide smile before you felt her relaxing again, she gave you a small nod, letting you know it was okay to continue.

You shifted your hands to her stomach, stroking it with your fingertips. - Look at this waste, so gorgeous and just the right shape. Her eyes shifted to your hands movements, and her breath started to increase it's path, as she felt you caressing her skin.

- And these hips? Your hand moved down her curves, touching her more intimately now, increasing the pressure of your hands.

- They are so attractive, when you walk, people at school can't stop staring at them. You know when I first met you I couldn't stop thinking about your hips and thighs.

She shaked her head no. - It's true. You breathed in her ear. - You carry such power and swag when you walk, it's impossible not to look.

Her eyes starting to shine, lips quivering as she felt your hands moving to her behind. - I don't think I need to tell you about this mouth watering ass of yours, do I?

Your eyes found hers, completely black now, your hand moving up and down her butt cheeks. Your touch was maddening, Melissa was starting to tremble and you heard a small whimper scape when your nails traced her shape, teasingly.

Your face moved closer to hers, your nose brushing against her cheek, your eyes never leaving hers. - But do you wanna know my favorite? You said slowly, letting the tip of your tongue brush against her earlobe.

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

Your hands roamed up her front and the red head felt like her skin was on fire, it was as if hot oil was being poured in every spot your fingers touched. Your hand stopped on her chest and you stretched your fingers to her neck, squeezing it gently.

- Y/N. She whimpered, her voice full of emotion.

Your fingers grasped her chin before turning her face to yours. - It's your face Melissa, I'm obsessed with your face. Your eyes kept drinking in hers while you spoke - Your eyes they are so green and deep. - Your smile lights up the whole room, it's contagious.

You leaned closer, letting your fingertips touch the tip of her nose - Your nose is sharp and perfect. You traced a path to her lips, observing her face deeply, like you were a painter and she was your master piece. Your fingers moved to her lips softly, the pressure light but steady.

- And your mouth, God your mouth.

Melissa held her breath, her eyes started to close, she was hypnotized by your caresses. Her eyes snapped open when she felt you pulling away. But before she could protest in disappointment you moved your hands to her breasts squeezing them roughly. You couldn't keep yourself away from them for one more second. - And these are the star of the show. You felt her nipples get hard while you played with them.

Her head fell to your shoulder before she groaned. - Fucking chirst Y/N.

You lost any self control you had left and turned her around, pressing her back against the mirror, trapping her with your hands beside her head . - Do you see it now? You asked, your eyes full of lust.

Her lack of response gave you the impression that she was uncomfortable, so you started to move away shyly. - Fuck, sorry Mel, I know we work together. Before you could finish your sentence Melissa grabbed your face and crashed her lips against yours. She was furious and putting all of her desire and longing into that kiss.

You had no idea how long she had craved this, how long she had craved you. And having your hands and whispers seducing her like that was enough to take the red head to a breaking point.

All she could see was black, her hands moved over your body frantically, squeezing every piece of flesh she could find.

You moaned feeling how dominant she had became, letting her take charge of the kiss. Your hands moved to her shoulders, clutching with force, returning all the fire the woman was giving you. You opened your mouth, accepting her tongue in. Your mind was dizzy with desire, and you couldn't stop yourself from moaning again.

- Holy fuck. You panted. You kissed for minutes, or what seemed to be hours. You couldn't get enough of her taste and she seemed to be obsessed with yours. Every time you would stop to breathe the other would pull in again with force, continuing the intense kiss. Your hands tangled in her gorgeous hair and hers groping you forcefully.

When you felt yourself close to fainting from the lack of air, you moved away from her, catching your breath so you could take a sight of what had just happened.

You moved your hand over your chest, trying to recover.

- Wow Schemmenti, I always assumed you were a good kisser but this, this is something else.

When you caught her eyes, she was still silent, chest and face red, she looked dangerous, almost a predator looking at her pray. - Mel?

She moved closer to you before shoving you in the bed savagely. You fell on your elbows harshly. - Ouch! Melissa! You said looking her with surprise.

- You had your fun seducing and playing me like pudding in your hands. Now it's my turn. She said while moving on top of you.

Her hands moved to your neck before squeezing it. - And you know something Y/N? She said while leaning in, letting her mouth hover over yours. - I don't think I want to go to the club anymore.

[shadow-fell]

Notes on Cazador's Spawn

Mostly for my own reference but hey, someone else might find it useful.

Cazador Szarr becomes the Master Vampire of Baldur's Gate in 1276 (list of master vampires) completing the Rite of Perfect Slaughter on his master, Vellioth.

Astarion's gravestone gives his years as 229-268 DR. There are two assumptions we can make here: the first is that this is just being written without the 1, so he's turned in 1268 DR. The second is that it isn't DR, but instead meant to be Northreckoning - which would make the dates 1261-1300 DR.

We have a few choices here: if it is in DR, either the 1276 date is wrong, or Astarion was somehow turned before Vellioth was killed. Because of that, I think it's a bit easier to assume NR, especially since he's "one of the first" and not "the first". But this is a bit nitpicky.

For the rest of the spawn:

Petras is around ~1390 ("one hundred years eating rats and dogs" from the Flophouse convo)

Yousen is around ~1430 ("only sixty years" after Cazador's defeat)

Dalyria was Physician General to the Parliament of Baldur's Gate (journal). The Parliament of Peers was founded in the mid-1400s, so she would have been turned after this point ~1450

Leon is at least from 1486 (6 years of favored spawn) maximum ~1480 (turned while Victoria is alive based on diary)

Violet and Aurelia have nothing that concrete. However, Violet does offer a prayer to Kelemvor after Cazador's defeat, so I'm going to assume she didn't pick up worship of a new god as a vampire, which makes her turning after Kelemvor's ascension in 1358.

This leaves us with like a century gap, with Astarion (and maybe Aurelia) being turned around 1300 and everyone else in the 1400s. But there's an answer to that as well...Jaheira and Astarion have a party banter

Astarion: Cazador always warned us to stay clear of this neighbourhood. Never said why, though. Jaheira: The last spawn who tried was sunk into the cobblestones and left for the sun to find. I had an unfortunate taste for theatrics, in my youth. Astarion: Ah. Yes, that was probably it.

The original BG games are set 1368/69 - so probably around then or shortly after is when Jaheira killed at least one of the spawn; we can assume there's a few more that got killed and replaced in the 1400s to get back up to magic number seven.

(more on the Szarrs below the cut)

The Szarrs were a merchant family. In 1479, they had been wiped out in an attack that destroyed their home in Tumbledown in the Outer City, leaving only Cliffside Cemetery within large caverns, and which were home to strange lights that could be seen from the river. Rumors about the Szarrs being seen as ghosts were commonplace.

The crypts under the Szarr Mansion we see in BG3 are the Tourmaline Depths, discovered by Donnela Szarr the architect - based on the article while she was Master Vampire in 1138-1204, but potentially earlier. I think it is reasonable to assume that the Depths are connected to the Cliffside Cemetery and Szarr family crypts underground (deeper than the Sewers or Undercity).

Amanita Szarr, or Lady Incognita, has a series of journals dated to 1477 recounting her turning.

Alturiak: describes that she was raised near Anga Vled, and rarely visited her 'Uncle' Cazador

Tarsakh: summoned on her thirteenth birthday

Mirtul: references every living (well, vampire) Szarr as Uncle Cazador, Granddam Fistula, Great-Aunt Dralia, and Cousin Blovart.

Kythorn: describes being turned, imprisoned in the attic. for refusing to participate. Then she drank human blood, and at least a year later, sent up a captive.

Flamerule: "succumbed" and declares herself Lady Incognita.

These span over 6 months (skips Ches after Alturiak). Reasonably, I think these were written during the period of the "captive" sent up, which puts her turning proper probably in 1476, born ~1462. We can probably date the death of her parents to be the killing of the Szarrs, while she was very young. About 15 years before 1479 is perfect time for a ghost story to develop while gangs to take over.

(Anga Vled is a gnomish village between Baldur's Gate and Elturel, along the Risen Road - so not far at all from where Act1/2 are set)

If we assume that the relations Amanita describes are accurate, the tree would look like this. Given that they're an elven family (or at least, Cazador is elven) that means we have a lot of space to work with, timeline wise, but the quotes around 'uncle' might mean he's actually Dralia's son or Amanita's great uncle, to give a bit more space.

??? (Donella Szarr?) |-------| Dralia Fistula |-------|--------| Cazador ??? ??? | | Blovart Amanita

The question is: if the Szarr family are all vampires, then what does it mean that they haven't shown up? And that Vellioth was apparently not a Szarr but was still the Master Vampire (and definitely in charge over Cazador?) Who turned them?

My personal theory goes something like this:

Donnela Szarr, wealthy (but not Patriar) elven merchant has at least two children, Dralia and Fistula (probably not real name because come on)

some time from 1019-1138, Donnela Szarr, while investigating the tombs below her family's estate, encounters Hideous Gathwycke and is turned as his spawn.

1138, Donnela Szarr kills him and becomes Master Vampire

Donnela turns Vellioth

Donnela potentially turns her children to grant them immortal life

1204, Vellioth kills Donnela, becomes Master Vampire

Vellioth takes control of the Szarr family (intimidation, magic, or potentially turning Dralia/Fistula, if they're his spawn and not Donnela's)

Cazador is turned by Vellioth (at least 1260, probably earlier)

1276, Cazador completes the Right of Perfect Slaughter

~1460, other Szarrs die; Amanita sent to the countryside.

~1475 Amanita turned

I imagine that Cazador was fairly young when Donnela was killed (young enough to not be turned yet), and knew Vellioth already, even if it might have been some time before he was turned. I'd put him at no more than 100 when Vellioth becomes Master Vampire; their relationship (and "martinet") feels very 'strict teacher' which makes me wonder if he was a tutor beforehand.

The debate is whether the Szarrs were killed for mundane reasons (rival merchants), by vampire hunters, or by Cazador himself. If he killed them, it might be for refusal to let him turn them into vampires (Blovart as the exception), or some level of sibling rivalry? Amanita's parents are presumably not vampires since she was turned, but that doesn't remove the chance of monster hunters.

Based on the timeline, Blovart may have died sometime after Lady Incognita's entries, placing Leon as his replacement for the seven spawn (maybe the Favoured Spawn room was his by default, and became a competition after? The fact it only goes back 6 years is interesting). Perhaps related to how she left or died herself.

Dralia and Fistula's absence might be that they don't live with him, but I could also see if they discovered the Rite of Ascension and tried to usurp him and got killed for it. Cazador is fascinated by the idea of family, and I could see him very much wanting to keep his family intact but also has no qualms about killing his own mother / aunt if they actually posed a threat to his real goals.

All of this + the Lady Incognita stuff is very rough, presumably a lot of it having been cut with the Upper City/shift in direction for Cazador's story. For more links/information, there's also this masterlist.