#but that doesn't necessarily mean I think all people should avoid reading the Harry Potter books or watching the movies

[vmures]

Highly recommend reading this essay about grappling with art and the creator's bad acts/monsterousness:

I've struggled to put much of this into words myself. It's a hard thing to grapple with and I think the point being made in the article is incredibly valuable. When we work so hard to claim we only take in unharmful art, we willingly blind ourselves to the truth that we too are capable of great harm, which in turn can perpetuate abusive systems. It can create this mindset: If I am not capable of harming others, because I am a righteous and "good" person, then any harm caused must have been the fault of someone else. You are essentially gaslighting yourself, which leads to gaslighting others.

If you asked my mother, she would tell you that she was a great mother. She gave up so much for her kids and sacrificed all her own wants and needs. She'd tell you that I was a fragile, overly emotional child. That I was difficult and over imaginative. She'd express confusion about how I went from the perfect, quiet baby to the angry, depressed teen, to an adult who no longer spoke with her.

She'd never mention the thrown objects, the rages, the climbing into my bed (not just to comfort me after a nightmare), the belittling, the emotional manipulation, the times she told me I must be mistaken and played off my observations as imagination (gaslighting me), the constantly changing expectations and rules. Because she was incapable (and probably still is incapable) of acknowledging that she herself had the capacity to do the same things her father did to her. In her head she was a victim and a good person, and she used those ideas to shield herself from her own monsterous behavior.

It is important to acknowledge that you can and will fuck up. That no one is purely good or purely evil. That we all contain the potential for both helpful and harmful acts and that if we are not mindful of others actual needs our helpful acts can be harmful.

When it comes to art, I do think it is important to not just shun, without thought or contemplation, art when we find out something awful about the creator. What we learn will change the way we see the art, but that goes from learning anything about the creator--good or bad.

[tongue-like-a-razor]

I would like to know your opinion on something. So, I've always loved Tom Cruise, ever since I was a kid. I never cared much about Hollywood, but I always loved Tom, his films marked my childhood and adolescence and his personal story inspired me. But, now as an adult, knowing all the other things he does in his personal life, Scientology, abandoning his child and all the drama he caused because because of it only leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth. And it's not something that should be avoided or ignored, it's too important for that. I feel like the moment you try to “forget” about it just makes you as trashy as he is. That naive admiration I had when looking at him before just doesn't exist anymore and it's kind of depressing. But even so, I like interacting with content about him, in a way, I still feel a little of that nostalgia and feelings that I had when watching his films again. Being his fan, how do you feel?

Ooh I really love this question! I am a fan and have been since I was a kid! The original Top Gun was like a yearly family movie night at our house so there is definitely some nostalgia surrounding it, as well as many of his other films.

I can’t say I love Tom for the person he is because I don’t know him. But I do admire what he’s done for the movie industry. When I say I love him, I mean it in a very surface level way (his films, his arms 🥵, his charisma).

However, I’d be lying if I said that his personal life/choices didn’t bother me. And I agree that it’s so disappointing because it absolutely affects how I feel about him and almost puts a threshold on how much I can like him.

That being said, as much as I don’t understand his actions, the fact that I don’t personally know him makes it harder to pass judgement and makes me wonder if I even should. I admit I don’t read a lot of tabloids/gossip so I may not know everything you know, but I sometimes wonder if he’s not a victim. I personally have known several people brainwashed by various cults to the point where extracting them became extremely dangerous and nearly impossible. Cults are also known to blackmail people to keep them from leaving and he strikes me as someone with a lot to lose. For all we know, he decided to abandon his daughter for her own safety. Again, I don’t know many details so, if you know for a fact that I’m wrong, let me know!

Truthfully, I like to pretend that he’s stuck just for my own peace of mind, even though I know it’s naive 😅 However, I also am a believer in separating artists from their work. I love Earnest Hemingway as an author, even though he was a notorious misogynist. Some of his works make me extremely angry, but I fucking love the way he writes 😭 HP is another example. I’ve always loved Harry Potter, but not JK for obvious reasons. I think Axl Rose is one of the most talented musicians ever despite him being a complete asshole according to many, many people. Basically, I allow myself to love the artists’ works without actually loving the artists.

And I do love Tom’s work. Which makes me a fan, not necessarily of him as a person, but of him as an artist. I may be a little obsessed with how he looks because have you seen him?? But I absolutely agree with you that I am often conflicted in terms of how much I can like someone who is potentially a shitty human being.

Phew that was a lot! Hopefully I didn’t ramble too much. Thanks for making me think this hard on a Monday 😆