#but that also means i'll probably be posting earlier tomorrow!

[biggerbodies-reanimated]

what's the last thing you remember?

Start | First in Arc | Prev | Next

[boyapologist]

you guys won't believe what happened tonight

[dee-the-red-witch]

SPOOKY SEASON PINNED

Because who knows if I'll have time to update this thing in October.

Hi. I'm Denice. Normally there'd be a big spiel about how I'm a 40-something year old trans lesbian who does a fuck of a lot of stuff. Or the books I have coming out later this year. Or the leather, tattoos, etc. That said, this isn't the time, because I'm stuck in the middle of what I'm calling

OPERATION GTFO

I'm getting my ass out of a relationship and household that went from tense and neglectful over the last ten years to toxic and abusive in the last two. And I need help doing it. And it's all on a freaking doomsday clock because the lease here ends at the end of this month, and so help me, I'm not signing another under these conditions. And of course, to make things more complicated, I have my gcs and ffs surgeries coming up at the end of november. So I have to have all this settled by then. Real Final Girl Transition moments here, and so help me, if I have to, I'm crawling out of the house by the end. So, yeah, needing help. I need to get an apartment, probably secure it by prepaying a few month's extra rent (because my credit got fucked with my legal transition and my rental history got fucked by my ex) , and get my hands on shit like basic furniture, because right now if I moved tomorrow, I'd be sleeping on a couple of floor blankets in the new place. All of which means money and a lot of it. I know I posted about this earlier, but, well, new month. Right now, I'm at about 550 of what needs to be 5-8 thousand. And seriously anything helps here. You can donate at http://paypal.me/tormentedartifacts

Or if you want to get something awesome in return (THAT WILL LIKELY NOT BE SHIPPING UNTIL AFTER JANUARY), there's http://tormentedartifacts.com

If you want to just donate on the gender surgery side of things, there's also my gfm: https://www.gofundme.com/f/dees-gender-confirmation-surgery-fund

But if you can donate anything on any end of this, even if it's just a few bucks, it helps a lot. It gets me thorough this. It gets me to a place where I can heal from all this. Where I won't be needing help so freaking much. I just need to get out, first.

And reblogging and sharing this everywhere you can ALSO helps a ton, so please, do that too.

[glorious-spoon]

Hi 💕 👀

hello and thank you!

💕 - kissing somewhere other than the lips

way past that

buddie | 748 words | post-coital | developing relationship | friends to lovers

-

Golden sunset spills across the loft, the rumpled sheets, the loose tangle of their bodies together. Buck isn't actually sure if Eddie is still awake; his hand is still resting between Buck's shoulder blades, but he's not petting him anymore, just holding him. His heartbeat is slow and steady, his chest rising and falling beneath Buck's cheek.

"Hey," Buck whispers, just in case Eddie is actually asleep. Eddie shifts, makes a cranky nonverbal little mumbling noise like he always does when Buck disturbs him. It sounds just the same now as it does in the bunks at the station, only now he can feel it rumble through Eddie's chest. That part is different. Better.

"Hey," he says back a moment later. His hand shifts, sliding up into Buck's hair, scritching gently at his scalp.

"Should we, uh… should we talk about this?" Buck asks. They definitely didn't talk about it earlier, when Eddie pushed him against the door of the loft and kissed him with the same deliberate care that he uses for everything that matters to him. Buck kissed him back then, and let Eddie steer them both toward the stairs, and it didn't feel frantic or reckless when they tumbled into bed together; it felt inevitable. Like maybe every step they've taken since that moment outside the ambulance seven years ago was leading them here.

But they didn't talk about it, not really.

"Yeah," Eddie yawns. "Probably."

"If I ask you out on a date now, will that make it weird?"

Eddie's chest moves with a startled huff of laughter. "I think we're probably way past that, don't you?"

"I don't know. Feels a little early to propose." Eddie goes still. Buck reruns what he just said in his head and groans, burying his hot face in Eddie's armpit. "Can we pretend I didn't just say that?"

"No," Eddie says, but he's laughing now, his arms tightening around Buck.

"Eddie, c'mon."

"You can take me out on a date before you propose," Eddie says, with a kind of deliberate lightness, like he's leaving space for Buck to laugh it off too, if he wants.

Buck takes a deep breath and lifts his head. Eddie is watching him. Eddie is naked in his bed, and he's got beard burn on his thighs and a hickey in the shape of Buck's mouth on his chest, just below the faint silvery divot of his bullet scar, and all of that is so new that Buck can barely get his mind to process it, but that look on Eddie's face—that's familiar. Eddie's got a good deadpan when he wants to, but Buck can still tell when he's nervous, and he's nervous now.

So that means it's Buck's turn to be brave.

"Dinner?" he asks. "Like, as a date? I know it's kind of like, a boring classic, but it's also a classic for a reason, and there's that Caribbean fusion place that you keep talking about wanting to try, and it's probably too late to get reservations tonight, but we could—maybe tomorrow? We could drop Chris off with Hen and Karen if they're cool with it, and we could go on a date. Together. If you want."

Eddie's expression melts into a smile, his eyes softening, and that's familiar too. That's the way Eddie always looks at him when he starts babbling like an idiot, but this time he also reaches up to cup Buck's cheek in one big, warm hand. Buck shuts up and takes a deep breath.

"Yeah, okay," Eddie says.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I'll go on a date with you tomorrow. You want to tell them? Hen and Karen, I mean?"

"I want to tell everybody," Buck says honestly. "But it's up to you. I'm not gonna be, like, mad if you wanna keep it under wraps for a while."

"I don't."

"You sure?"

Eddie rolls his eyes. "Yeah, Buck, I'm sure. Come on."

"Okay," Buck whispers. Eddie's hand is still on his face. Buck turns to press a kiss to the center of his palm, and then another on the tender inside of his wrist, lingering there for a moment. Eddie breathes in shakily at that, shifting beneath him, and Buck lifts his head to look at him. He's blushing.

"Listen," he says.

"I was gonna say we could go downstairs and maybe order a pizza if you're hungry," Buck says, "but…"

"It can wait," Eddie says quickly, and pulls him back down, laughing, into a kiss.

[callm3-q]

This whole situation with bad is all so bittersweet... Like, on one hand we get really cool lore and we get to see more of Bad hanging out with more of the eggs. But on the other hand, it's like, at what cost. We could have all those things with out the reset, and all the angst that's coming with it. All the eggs that know Bad so well, and Bad putting all the time and devotion into building that trust and getting to know them better just thrown out the window. It's sad to think about.

And another thing, people are just barely thinking about ways to help Bad, like moving closer to help out more, or trying to find a cure, and shit like that. But still, too little too late. He's been like this for a LONG time, at some point things are just unfixable. And I know people were trying to help Bad earlier on, but it wasn't, and still isn't, really far up on the to-do list for anyone.

I can already see people logging on after the reset and running into Bad and having to have the conversation, and basically having to re-introduce themselves to him.

But one thing I have questions about is how far back will it send him? Will he be sent back to the first thing that could be called the first mistake, or when his life first started falling apart. Or will it send him back further. Will he remember Foolish, or Phill, or any of the others from the dsmp. Or will he forget everyone entirely.

Also just gonna put general ideas of how people might react to Bad's reset depending on how far back he gets sent, cause I need a break from writing about this angsty lore :)

could imagine Foolish running into Bad, or meeting up with him and it gong something like this. (This is if his memory got ripped back to when his life started falling to pieces, so he still remember most of the islanders and eggs) I could imagine Foolish noticing something off about Bad and going like 'what the fuck happened to you' and Bad would just be like 'what do you mean, I'm completely normal' and the Foolish would just hag him, and ask questions about what happened.

I could see Pierre saying 'Bebou nooooo D: what happened to you' (maybe a bad time but I absolutely love Pierres accent TmT) Then Bad would say "What do you mean' because why wouldn't he, I mean c'mon... He's BadboyHalo, infamous for being oblivious and shit like that

Anyways, I'll probably continue this post and talk about how I think/ thought others would react. (depending on if Bad dies tomorrow or not ofc, I'll say if I was close or not). But Bad was a little rapscallion as he would say, and streamed for 9 hours and it's already 1:20 AM and I'm tired af TvT. So see you tomorrow with the rest of this post, if I decide to finish it.

[alonelystargazer]

WIP Wednesday

I haven't done one of these in a while but I'm working on a few projects behind the scenes (albeit very slowly), so I want to share a little bit of what I have so far.

for JJK:

Chapter 2 of my ItaFushi fic: give you more (than words can say)

He follows Nobara around, browsing the various video and crane games set up in the five-story building, going up the escalator to the second floor where they find rows and rows of gachapon machines set up. Since he’s here, he may as well indulge and try his luck. “Look, there it is! Okay, I have ¥2850 left, so I’m gonna keep spending it until I get that damn figure. You,” Nobara points to Megumi, “are you gonna stand there again like an idiot like you did earlier?” Megumi decides to keep the peace and ignore being called an ‘idiot’ again. “I’ve got enough cash to buy out this whole machine, but I don’t really care what I get.” “Did you guys forget I’m here, too?” Yuuji whines with a frown like a sad wet kitten. “You didn’t even wanna come here in the first place. Just pick a machine or stand there quietly and let us play,” Nobara barks back. “You’re usually not this mean, but you’re extra cranky today, Kugisaki,” Yuuji sighs, half of his body’s strength seemingly disappearing as he slumps against a nearby wall.

I also have another idea for an itfs fic set in a no powers AU but I'll share more about it when I start writing the story. For now, I'm still in the outlining process because I plan for it to be another multi-chapter story. Basically, it's set around Christmas time, and Yuujij gets drunk and sad and lonely at a party and decides to write a post card to the address where he used to live, and surprise, a guy named Megumi now lives there and receives the card. Can you imagine what will happen next?

I thought of restructuring my post-canon itfs fic called Foreign Language into something else, but that depends on these final 3 chapters of JJK, so we'll see how it goes, but for now, I'm leaving it alone.

~

for Kagurabachi:

pre-Rakuzaichi Hakuri character study/HakuHiro fic called Safety Net

Tomorrow is a day of great importance for Chihiro. With Shiba-san’s help, he will be able to infiltrate that loathsome auction house where Hakuri’s father is keeping the merchandise and retrieve his precious sword. For years, rumors of the existence of a seventh enchanted blade drifted through the underground world without a shred of proof. That one elusive blade is spoken of by the patrons of the black market like a thing of legend, a literal object of desire, crafted by the fallen hero of Japan, Rokuhira Kunishige. And yet. It is no mystery. Enten is alive because Chihiro breathes his soul into it, senses it from a distance like a lost limb, cherishes it like a parent to a child. Chihiro keeps his father’s legacy close to his heart and away from the type of people who are undeserving of wielding its immense power, away from those who would hold no accountability for their actions if it were to fall in their hands. Therefore, it is the property of Rokuhira. His greatest treasure. But… it is lost, somewhere beyond his reach. All because Chihiro gave it away in exchange for Hakuri’s release.

I also started outlining my HakuHiro Pacific Rim AU fic but that one is going to take me months to write, so I probably won't share anything from it for a while.

[mythicalartistx]

KH Translations Part 2

Also where I talk about English's hetero romance agenda

Where I discuss translations I found from various people (I'm not fluent in JPN at all) and I may have a slight Soriku basis but I'm okay with all ships (unless it's problematic or proshipping) like I understand those who like SoKai

Also I want to note the Eng version reanimates the mouth flaps.

This is just about this one moment..

When Kairi is founded by Olette and the rest of the Twilight Town gang she tells them what has happened and afterwards Olette responds in a way.

The English: What a romantic story

The Japanese: What a wonderful story

The localization has a tendency of making scenes or things more romantic towards Sora and Kairi when in the Japanese it wasn't like that.

In the Japanese it is romantic between Sora and Riku moreso while in the English it does Sora and Kairi.

And like it's kinda a problem to focus on it like that, like it be one thing to just take away all romantic settings and just not add it to another character.

But to take away the romantic settings between Sora and Riku and instead give it to Sora and Kairi is kinda odd and a bit mean to fans who actually like SoKai.

It gives almost false hope they might end up together — I mean it's possible they could and the same is with the other ship....

People can like them fine and there are some moments you can be like okay yeah that's kinda cute like in KH1 where they have that drawing in the secret place. Then at the end of the game Kairi has tears and laughs slightly when she sees what he drew because he is not there anymore.

Like that is all visual!

It's cute that he drew that and then she finds it cute and probably misses him.

But like around KH2 it kinda almost fades away at least in my opinion

And it's kinda sad because the English continues to force it in.

Or an example in KH3 when Kairi "dies" Sora runs to where Xehanort is and in the English he says "Why her" like she's more important.

It's not that big of a deal here, but it's still kinda like really?

It still can be taken that way.

In the original it's just why, like how could you do this to one of my friends.

And thus abused the power to save another of his friends and forget Riku's sacrifice WHICH I FEEL LIKE WOULD BE IMPORTANT in KH4

Then in KH3 when Kairi gives him a papou fruit.... It is given in hopes of good luck tomorrow that everyone will be able to do okay with the battle.

But the English romanticizes it.

Also they each have their own separate Papou fruit—

But yeah, I mean it's fine if people ship them but it's just really annoying how the translation is inaccurate.

I'd rather JPN release like 1-2 years earlier and the ENG translation team work hard on a correct translation.

Also I want to note that Utada has been stated by Nomura to focus on Sora and Riku with the KH songs...

Which I'll get into in another post soon.

[yakuzacanons]

I'm loving your blog so much!!! I really enjoy your headcanons! ^w^ May I request a part 2 of the "how they would text you" headcanons? I'd love to see how Ryuji would text!

Yes, absolutely! Also, to the rest of my inbox, I go beddy soon (the movie double feature was like 6 hours and I am exhausted) but I will get to the other asks TOMORROW, pinky promise. Headcanons below da cut as per usual. Goog nite.

Ryuji Goda

Decent at texting but his reply times are terrible. He often just forgets to check his phone. Even if he sees the notification, he's the type of person to think "Oh I'll reply to them soon" and forget because he feels in his brain as if he did already reply by just thinking about it. Sends lots of pictures of clothes, jewelry, and the like and asks what your opinions are on them. He knows what emojis are but can never decipher what emotion they are actually trying to convey. Absolutely not up to date on texting slang and tends to type pretty formally.

Ryuji: I meant to text back earlier but I ended up forgetting because I was so busy, my apoliogies.

You: (¬､¬)

Ryuji: Does that image mean you are mad at me or that you are happy to hear from me?

You: What do YOU think?! ⸨◺_◿⸩

Ryuji: Ah, the former then. That one is particularly scary looking.

Nishikiyama Akira

Probably the fastest texter of all the characters and the quickest to reply. He's usually good at being up to date on more modern things, at least better than Kiryu is. Flirtatious texter and most likely to send "You up?" texts. Totally loves sending you selfies when he's really feeling himself. Also sends pictures of really good views he finds, like from a rooftop in Kamurocho with a great view of the city lights.

Nishiki: Hey, check out the view from this restaurant.

You: Oh wow, very pretty.

Nishiki: It would be even prettier if you were here (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

You: Nishiki!

Nishiki: Lol, sorry, couldn't help myself ★~(◡ω◡✿)

Daigo Dojima

Primarily uses his phone for work so he's pretty quick to check notifications or respond to messages. Prefers phone calls as he can hear your voice and it makes for a nice break from all the other mundane calls or important emails at work. Rarely if ever sends pictures via text and selfies make him camera shy but if you're very close to him, you could totally twist his arm into participating. Surprisingly has a decent grasp on emojis.

You: How're you doing?

Daigo: Tired. Long meeting. ╥﹏╥

You: I believe in you! I'll treat you to dinner afterwards so do your best.

Daigo: Ah, that's very kind, thank you. I look forward to it. ( ◡‿◡ *)

Mine Yoshitaka

The worst texter. He's super dry in his responses, never uses emojis, and is very good at forgetting to check his texts. He mostly uses his cell phone for work so when he isn't work, he has notifications silenced. However, if you're very important to him, he will enable the buzzer on his phone so you can get through to him. In contrast, he's the best at taking pictures of you using a cell phone. Never has his phone out during meals as he doesn't want to be rude. Would prefer to video chat the most as it's the next best thing to actually seeing you.

You: Mine, are you even actually reading my texts?

Mine: Sorry, I was working out.

You: It's okay, you can make it up to me by sending me a post-workout selfie. ٩(◕‿◕)۶

Mine: You think you're funny, huh? Fine, just because I like you.

[thebigsl33p]

Our Last Summer

A/N: Hello! It's been so long since I posted something, oh my God! It is my birthday on Sunday, but I thought I'd pump out loads of work. There will be another fic coming out soon with a similar title but instead with "I can still recall Our Last Summer" and that will be a Lockwood and Co. Fic (book based. I loved those books but Skulduggery Pleasant comes first. British schoolgirl things.) So Yeah... It will probably be an Anthony Lockwood X Reader!

Morpheus remembers that summer so vividly.

When he closes his eyes he can still smell the oranges, can still see her stretching up to pull them off the tree and her fingers messily digging into the skin, juice trickling over her hands. It's the smell that really pulls the memory to the front of his mind.

The smell of fields. Fresh cut grass, the oranges, the spots of lavender that surrounded her as she splayed out amongst the green blades and offered him half her orange before plucking a piece of lavender, smelling it and closing her eyes.

He would let her lay there for a while, looming over her. He would watch her, take in the complexity of her hair and skin under the sunlight, the slight warmth in her cheeks and the curls of her hair, how her eyes were so dark you could barely see her iris but when the sun hit her just right they would light up with gold.

He had loved wholly, and he would love wholly again, but none of his lovers would bring the sense of comfort Y/N did. With her, life was so simple. All the decisions he had to make were so straightforward, and every single one of them was made lying in a field, with her next to him or in his arms.

Morpheus also remembers the last day of that summer.

He had waited for so long, until the sun began to set. Until the sky burned with clouds of orange and pink and blue. And then finally, on a hill in the distance, he saw a figure - a shadow. It waved slightly, gently, before it began to walk down the hill towards him and the moment she came into view he frowned.

"Where were you?" he asked, once she'd reached him.

Gently, she folded her hands in front of herself, "I must go." She said, simply.

"Go? I don't-"

"This is the last day of summer." She waved her hand to the sun which was setting in the sky, earlier than the previous days, "I must be gone by tomorrow's dawn, the first day of winter." She stared at him, the slight confusion in his eyes, "Didn't you ever wonder who I was?"

He felt stupid, staring at her with lovestruck and pained eyes. It was so obvious now. He had presumed that other personifications were myths, extinct stories that were whispered on the air, but now she was standing in front of him. The golden sun hit her perfectly, she smelt like a warm breeze, the way nature seemed to hug her.

Summer. She was Summer. And now Winter was coming, she had to go.

"Summer," he had to say her name out loud, to know that she was real and he watched the slight recognition in her eyes and the slight nod of her head, "Where will you go when Winter arrives tomorrow?"

"I don't know." She was honest, "It's always Summer somewhere. I'm always needed, I'll always have a home. I just chose to make mine with you."

"There are places where it's always Summer in The Dreaming." The words just slipped out so easily, "Come live with us." Come be with me. Stay with me.

"Really?" She let an excited little smile slip onto her face, "You mean it?"

"Yes." He nodded and took her hands, "Yes."

And that was how, a year later, the smell of Oranges haunted his throne room. Occasionally Lavender followed it or Rose. Every time it took him back to that day, that summer spent in fields and sun. Y/N, which Summer went by, had ust left the throne room, and would be back within three hours with a basket of fresh fruit and freshly baked bread from The Dreaming. True, he could just provide her with these things with a flick of his hand.

But she liked to interact with the people of The Dreaming, and who was he to deny her. Especially considering his plans to make her their Queen.

[neondiamond]

✨ Twenty Questions for Fic Writers ✨

Thank you @disgruntledkittenface for tagging me! I always enjoy this kind of tag games! 🩷

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

57

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

259,349 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

One Direction

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I’d Walk Through Fire For You (Just Let Me Adore You), Sounds like love to me, Find Me in the Kitchen, Sweet like candy, and On Thin Ice

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, I do my best to answer all comments I receive, because they truly make my day every time I get one, and I want readers to know I appreciate them. ❤️

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

...

none? I seem to be incapable of writing anything but happy endings…

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Now this I'm good at lol. Happiest is hard to pick though... maybe Here You Come Again? I feel like the angst that comes in the middle makes the happy ending even sweeter with this one.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

It's happened once or twice that I’ve gotten a mean comment on a fic, yeah, but not regularly. I've also gotten a few comments I would qualify as stupid specifically on my ace fics, though I think those are coming from a place of ignorance more than from a place of hatred (or at least that's my hope...)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do sometimes write smut, but not very often, because I find I have to be in a very specific mindset to do it that doesn't come often, and frankly because I don’t think I’m very good at it. But when I do write smut, I write whatever kind I feel will fit best into that fic.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've never actually written one!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes! One of the Christmas fics I wrote last year was stolen and posted on AO3 for a different fandom. 🙃 The person had simply changed Harry and Louis’ names to different characters... Someone pointed it out to me in the comments and it got taken down.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! My Ace Omega Harry fic series was translated into Russian earlier this year.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Predictably, Larry. I love reading other pairings, but as far as writing goes, I think Larry will always remain my favourite.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I've been meaning to write a sequel to Chasing Feelings where Harry and Louis get to work together again, but I keep getting distracted by other ideas and at this point I'm not sure when or if it's actually going to happen lol

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I'm quite good at portraying feelings and emotions, even in few words.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Long fics feel kind of impossible to me, and i don’t think I’m the best at writing dialogue either.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've never done it myself, just because I don't think I've ever written a fic where a character spoke another language, but I don't mind it when reading. It can be fun to try to decipher it sometimes.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

One Direction

20. Favorite fic you've written?

If you ask me the same question tomorrow, I'll probably have a different answer because my favourites change all the time, but a recurring one has to One for the Books. I just love writing Christmas fics and this one feels extra cosy to me.

Tagging: @onlythebravest @crinkle-eyed-boo @sun-lt @homosociallyyours and whoever else feels like doing this!!

[ultimatepokemontournament]

Hello everyone and welcome to yet another Monday!

This, of course, means that Gen 6 posting is done and tomorrow we'll begin posting the polls for Gen 7! This also means we get to see our very first Regionals as well!

If you didn't see this post I made earlier asking for opinions on running the final round, I would love to hear any feedback you all might have! I probably won't come to a decision on it until we're much closer to the end, though, and I'll probably do some basic polling so that we can hear from the people who don't usually reply.

As always, thank you all so much for participating!

[toastingpencils37]

Ok, so Inktober starts tomorrow, and since I'm participating in two, I just want to go over how I'm posting them and possible exceptions that are probably going to occur at some point.

So, I'm going to try and participate in both the Ninjago Dragons Rising Inktober and the Official Regular Inktober.

Posting:

Since for actually drawing, I'm doing the regular Inktober before the Dragons Rising Inktober, everyday I'll post the regular Inktober first and then the Dragons Rising one later.

The regular Inktober will be in the morning (my first posting round I do every day) and the Dragons Rising one will be my second posting round on weekdays and third on weekends. (Posting rounds referring to the times I'm normally on Tumblr)

On weekends, the regular Inktober will be late by 2 to 3 hours because it's the weekend, meaning I'm sleeping in, and the Dragons Rising one will be 20 to 60 minutes early due to me not having to come home from school.

Fandoms:

The Dragons Rising Inktober, of course, is going to be Ninjago Dragons Rising. Because that's the whole theme of that Inktober.

However, the regular Inktober may vary. Some days it may be Rottmnt, whereas others it will be Ninjago, and it may be something completely different on other days (which is pretty unlikely but may happen).

Falling Behind:

I am doing 2 Inktobers. Meaning, that even with a two day headstart, I'll probably fall behind at some point, with school and everything. When that occurs, the posting schedule will be void unless I can catch up, and in that case, I will post them more so that my posting may catch up, and then the schedule may go back to normal.

Exceptions to Schedule that Don't Involve Falling Behind:

There may be days where I post an Inktober for one but not the other.

Reasons for this will probably be:

I don't care for the prompt provided for that day, meaning I don't want to do it.

I tried, failed, and gave up, moving on to another prompt to keep moving.

I have no idea what to do for said prompt.

If this occurs, there will probably be an announcement on one of the Inktober posts about it. The schedule will remain the same, I just won't post the art for that prompt that day.

If this occurs, the announcement on the other post will look like either of these:

If No Dragons Rising Post: On the regular Inktober post - "There will be no Dragons Rising Inktober post today"

If No Regular Inktober Post: On the Dragons Rising post - "There was no regular Inktober post for today, and chances are, there won't be whatsoever."

Also, if I have something else going on during one of those times the Inktober posts that are supposed to be posted, during that time they will either be posted earlier or later (more likely later).

Regular Posting And Activity:

I will still be regularly active, probably using my Tumblr time as breaks, looking at my following page, reblogging, posting and trying to drop the number of my drafts (which is over 100 right now, due to me rewatching Ninjago and Rottmnt episodes💀)

Anyways, I think that's about it that I want to cover about it.

[findingmypeace]

Edit: This post went in a different direction than I anticipated. Please read under the cut ONLY if internalized (meaning only about myself) fat phobia is not a trigger for you.

And I did it. I dissociated while b/ping. I was doing so well with no dissociation earlier. Ugh, so, so frustrating. I will probably spend the next hour cleaning up and getting ready for bed. I hate this part. It's like waking up and suddenly becoming aware of the world around you along with the whirlwind of b/ping.

Also, I'm going to work tomorrow. In-person. That part is not a problem. I do that at least 4 days a week, every week. The problem is I accidentally gave myself a black eye in the most millennial/Gen Z way possible. Laying on my back in bed this morning. I had just sort of woken up and was in and out of sleep. I was holding my cell phone right above my head. Started to fall asleep. Dropped it on my eye. Yep, I got a black eye from my cell phone! Learn from my idiocy, lol.

Finally, I have an appointment with an endocrinologist tomorrow morning. I am very excited. Yes, I am seeing it as this magic want that will make all the weight I've gained come off. I have been diagnosed with hypothyroidism but given some of my other symptoms I feel like something else is going on. My nightmare is that right now it takes me a month to lose X pounds and FOUR days to gain X + 2 pounds with NO change in behaviors. And it goes round and round in a circle for months on end. And this is how I a)ended up at this weight and b)led to such extreme behaviors before res. Behaviorally, if my body wasn't broken, I would have been at very different weight. Because despite those extreme behaviors this is what was happening over and over and over again.

TW: internalized fat phobia and not external

So, endocrinologist, please cure me. Please let me lose weight again. I can't live my life in this body. Why, why, why can't my body lose weight anymore? Like at all. No matter what my behaviors are. I am desperate. I am scared that I'm just going to keep gaining regardless of what I eat or my level of physical activity. Will it ever stop?

After doing my therapy homework I realized that having a thin body is my only sense of self-worth. But I'm gaining weight so fast that "the numbers don't add up" and I must be lying about actually having BED rather than Atypical AN b/p. That hurt. A lot. I'm not saying having BED is lower in the ed hierarchy, ugh! It's that I wasn't believed. And it was all because of my fat body. I'm not exaggerating. I have no doubt that someone in a smaller body would not be told they are denying binge eating behaviors. Who would ever believe that I was once underweight and for a long time? And I can't do anything about where I'm at now. Nothing. I feel trapped and completely out of control. I just want some relief. This is weird to say but I really want something to be wrong so that maybe, just maybe, there is some kind of thing that will once again allow me to control my weight.

I'm really sorry if anyone feels judged by this post. I put it under a cut because this is about my body and no one else. I don't want anyone to feel bad about themselves. I don't see others this way which has always confused me because why can't I say the same for myself? I just hate my body and even more so because nothing I do works to change it and I have repeatedly been on the receiving end of medical fat phobia. It's not my fault! I can't doing anything about it! Someone please listen to me instead of brushing me off with that disgusting, judgemental, fat phobic bullshit! "You look obese. Let's get you a free sample of wegovy." Fuck you! "We just want to help you reach your goals." Sure, that would be great. My goal is X pounds. I might die in the process of getting your help but it's fine. At least I'll be thin." Fuck you times 500. For new followers, yes this did happen. Just before I was almost sent to inpatient but my insurance wouldn't cover it (I'm fat) so I went to residential instead. I hate myself for spewing all this bullshit. It's all a product of my eating disorder and I know it's bullshit. But so is how I've been treated and I can't do anything to change it. I want to so bad but even if I eliminate food and water and survive on air I will still gain weight. Just like I did before treatment.

I'm sorry. I might delete this. It's too much emotion. These are deep, deep inner thoughts that I've been burying for so long and it's finally bubbling over. And I don't want to hurt anyone.

[which-hospital]

Barriers (13/01/24)

First week back at uni done. Very Tired. Got a high 2:1 in my first ever uni essay, though.

This took a while to post and will probably be pretty short for ~reasons~ but I thought I should post it before tomorrow. Probably very noticeably, I'm not gonna do all my thoughts about Sah leaving yet. I have a lot of thoughts but that means organising them and typing them and I feel like I still have more thoughts that haven't fully happened in my head yet but that I will want to include. Also, I feel like making my final episode post about Sah will be the final goodbye and am holding off from doing it for as long as possible because of that. Of course I'll keep going on about them even now they've left because I love them, but the final episode post does feel like accepting that they've gone and I'm not ready for that. So, for Sah leaving: I'll get to it, eventually, but in short I think it was carried out really well!!

This is Sah leaving adjacent but I wanna defend Jan a bit. I love Stevie but it's literally Jan's job to look out for the paramedics and if she feels like another person's choices are putting her paramedics in danger (which they were) then it's in her job to call them out on that. That's what she did in this episode and I loved seeing it, actually. I saw people mad at her for it and I felt very defensive because That's Her Job.

In this storyline with the police in the hospital, I wonder if it will get as explicitly anti-police as some of these earlier episodes of Casualty I've been watching are. I don't think they'd be allowed to be as obvious as the older episodes but I also don't think this Harry guy is good news.

I enjoyed the Max and Jodie stuff in the episode and it was nice seeing his mum again but I kinda wish they'd start to get to the point a bit more with his backstory. I'm hoping this week's episode, with there being a lot of him and Dylan, will get to it. I also wish they'd used Max and Dylan's history more during Max's time on the show.

I don't care for and will never care for this Teddy and Jodie and Paige stuff. I know he's my favourite character but I don't always agree with how the writers use him. I've been against it since the October trailer but I'm tired of it already and we're only two episodes in.

I know they won't, but Natalia feels like a great character for the writers to acknowledge how terrible Faith is with. She's developing a thing for a fully grown man because she's desperate for some kind of parental support and can't tell the difference. That's really sad and I hope things end up working out for her. She has really been through it these past couple years. Also, I love her hair. 

[masonhawth0rne]

What I read in February

I had intended to post this much earlier in the month, but what can you do (aside from doing the thing when you think of it, instead of putting it off for first thing tomorrow, I promise!) Oh well, who's counting?

Anyways, here we go!

Beneath Strange Lights, Vivian Valentine ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Search for the Green River Killer (nf), Carlton Smith & Tomas Guillen ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Trace Evidence (nf), Bruce Henderson ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Red X, David Demchuk ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Gate of Ivrel, CJ Cherryh ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Persuasion, Jane Austen ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Ghosts of Tomorrow, Michael R Fletcher ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Kill Your Husbands, Jack Heath ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (ss), Washington Irving ⭐️⭐️

Corrupted Vessels, Briar Ripley Page ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Ada Blackjack (nf), Jennifer Niven ⭐️⭐️

Time to Orbit: Unknown, Derin Edala ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Splinter, Jasper Hyde ⭐️

Writing Great Fiction (nf), James Hynes ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Original Sin, Derin Edala ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Infinity Wars Anthology, ed Jonathan Strahan ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Started off strong this month, Beneath Strange Lights by Vivian Valentine was a really great surprise--I'm not super into young adultish books most of the time, but the voice and characterisation of this one were really outstanding, and the way that it plays with eldrich and cosmic horror was extremely well done. The friendships between the characters were endearing without being overly saccharine, and overall it was just really well done, I'll definitely be looking forward to the sequel. (Oh and also the main character is a trans girl!)

Red X by David Demchuk was also a really strong book. It's a pretty challenging read given its close attention to violence against and among the LGBT+ community in Canada, as well as its very interesting interpolation of semi-fictionalised autobiographical elements into the narrative. It was really worthwhile, even though it was almost impossible to get ahold of it in Australia (reminds me I need to ask my library to order a copy!) But I would recommend making sure you're in a good headspace before you start this one.

And there are two older stories that I hadn't read before, Persuasion by Jane Austen, and The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, by Washington Irving.

I've got to say, I'm a bit disappointed with all the Austen-heads in my life that they never pushed Persuasion to the front of the line! It's a second-chance romance with an older cast than the other Austen books I've read so far, and I think it's really a strong contender for my top Austen book! It's got its sad and heartwarming moments, and the Great Big Letter Declaring His Love is, honestly, probably beating out Darcy's hash of things in P&P. This is a great book! It's a shame it gets overshadowed!

Sleepy Hollow, Sleepy Hollow. What can I say about The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. How about, first off, I've never been able to sit through a whole movie or show adaptation of this story without getting bored halfway through. Not sure what exactly it is about them, but I just bounce right off. Now I read the story, and discover that every adaptation has taken the bold decision to do the exact opposite of the story? This doesn't mean that I enjoyed the short story! I found it...fine. A little bit boring. But short!! There was some nice descriptive language, but overall, not what I wanted to be doing with my time. But I am still befuddled and bemused; how does a short story about how silly and gullible it is to believe in ghosts get turned around and adapted into an avalanche of 'OMG! the ghost is REAL!' movies and shows? I don't get it!

Anyhow, that's that for February! Overall, it was a pretty good time!

ss=short story nf=non-fiction

Stars awarded at my whim.

[pain-in-the-riri]

Twitfic I posted on Twitter last night :) Enjoy!

I'll probably write a follow-up later this week, might throw it on ao3 also

----

The first time Ed sees Stede walk by his construction site, Stede is wearing a too-tight button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows.

When Ed whistles at him, he expects Stede to follow Standard Catcall Procedure and keep walking his fine ass to his destination.

Instead, Stede meets his eyes and, face questioning and dopey smile plastered on his face, walks up to Ed and says, "Can I help you?"

Ed, is caught off guard, but not one to be easily flustered, leans into it. "You can tell me where you've been all my life."

"Oh, well. In Auckland mostly!" Stede says, then with a curt little wave says, "bit late, actually, can't stay to chat just now," and walks away.

Ed's not 100% sure what just happened, but he can't stop grinning for a few minutes afterwards.

The second time Ed sees Stede it's only a day later. Stede is wearing a tight black turtleneck and looks like a sexy brick. Ed is into it.

"Hey, Blondie!" Ed leans over a barricade, "Couldn't stay away from me?"

Stede swivels in place on his fancy wingtips. Ed hadn't noticed the dimples before and they're really doing something for him right now.

"Oh hello, uh," Stede appraises Ed for a second looking for appropriate nickname material, "Doodles."

Ed snorts, his eyes flick down to the tattoos on his arms then, amused, back up to Stede. "What did you bring me in exchange for distracting me from work two days in a row?"

"Oh, uh…" Stede pats down his pockets and produces a lollipop. "How's this?"

Ed takes the lollypop, unwraps it, and puts it in his mouth as seductively as he can possibly muster. "Perfect," he says and winks.

"Okie dokie!" Stede says, and walks away. Fuck!

Day three comes and goes Stedeless.

Day four, Stede looks stressed and Ed catches him just as he's about to storm past the boundaries of the construction site. He figures he'll lay it on real thick this time. "You look like you could use a glass of whiskey and a massage, mate."

"I could use a whole bottle," Stede grumbles, barely making eye contact, and stalks away.

Ed attributes today's failure to Stede's bad mood and tries not to let it get to him.

Three hours later, he's checking inventory when a blonde aura hovering in his peripheral vision catches his attention over his clipboard.

"'scuse me," Stede says, waving him over to the side walk.

Well well well, this could be interesting. Ed saunters over to the blonde as casually as possible. He clears his throat a little bit and flips through his clipboard casually. Can't look too eager. "Sup?"

"Sorry to interrupt," Stede says, crinkling a paper bag in his hands.

"I can squeeze five minutes in for you, Blondie," Ed says, "Or ten."

"I couldn't stop thinking about how rude I was earlier, so I brought you this."

"Oh," Ed says. Okay, he wasn't expecting that.

"I just had a bad day, I didn't mean to be short with you," Stede says and hands him the brown paper bag.

Ed peeks inside and it's full of madeleines from the bakery down the street.

"I hope those are okay!" Stede says.

"Yeah, 'course. They're great. Thanks." Ed says. "Didn't have to get me anything."

"I know, but I didn't want my bad day to turn into your bad day."

Ed's original plan of putting an end to their little dance over the past few days and asking the blonde if he just wanted to go make out behind the equipment shed now seems highly inappropriate so he keeps the idea to himself.

"Right," Stede says, when Ed doesn't quite respond beyond looking between Stede and the paper bag full of cookies in his hands. "See you tomorrow, then?"

"Yes, sure. Tomorrow," Ed says. There is a level of genuineness to this increasingly bizarre multi-day catcall that is making Ed feel a little bit scrambled up inside.

It's totally fine to develop a crush on someone you catcalled, Ed thinks, as he systematically devours the entire bag of madeleines in the span of 15 minutes.

He catches himself hoping Blondie's day got better after he left.

The next morning, Blondie shows up with two coffees in his hands, wearing a black graphic tee with the words "I Believe" printed on it, below a cartoon image of a UFO.

"Morning, Doodles!"

"Heya, Blondie," Ed says, not bothering to hide his excitement to see the weirdo popping up so early in the day.

"Not sure how you take your coffee so I put some milk and got you a pocket of sugar packets." Stede says, handing Ed one of the two coffees in his hands. He follows this up with a promised handful of sugar packets from his pocket.

"A pocketful is the exact amount I usually put in my coffee, that's perfect." Ed says, and grins when that elicits a laugh out of Blondie.

"Welp, I'll see you later!" Stede says, deposits as many sugar packets as will fit into Ed's free hand, and starts walking away.

"Well, how much later?"

"Oh," Stede says. "Well, tomorrow is Saturday so probably on Monday? If you're still here?"

"I am," Ed says, and pauses a second to weigh whether or not it's a good idea to push further. "What about, uh, tonight?"

"Tonight?"

"Yeah, you know. If you're free."

"You'll still be working tonight?!" Stede practically yelps. "Why is your work day so long!"

"No, no," Ed snorts a laugh, this guy's crazy. "No I mean AFTER the work day. If you wanted to maybe, I don't know, get drinks?"

"Ohhh," Stede says. "Well…wow. Drinks? With you?"

"I mean…yes?"

Ed is suddenly severely suspicious of his gaydar. He is questioning everything. Why did he even catcall anyone? He's a lot of things but he's never once thought of himself as someone that plays into stereotypes, especially ones as generic and boring as "catcalling construction worker".

"Do you mean like, with your friends?" Blondie asks.

Fuck!

"Uh, if you'd like?" Ed says, and does a cursory glance around the construction site. Ivan and Fang are on today, he could probably convince them to come. "Or if you want, maybe, just…us? Up to you. No pressure."

For a long quiet moment Ed is afraid Blondie's about to flee, but then he says: "Yeah, just us sounds lovely, actually."

"Oh, good. Great." Ed says. He feels a small wave of panic wash over him when he realizes just how disappointed he'd have been if Blondie would have said no.

"Here," Ed says, and fishes a slightly crinkled business card from his back pocket. He hopes it's not too grimy looking for this chronically pin-perfectly dressed guy before him. "That's my cell, so, uh, give me a text or a call? I'm off at 6."

"Wonderful!" Blondie says.

"Great. I'll see you later then," Ed glances at the name on his coffee cup. "Steve"

"Stede, actually."

"Sorry, Stede."

Stede chuckles. "What about you? What's your name?"

Ed holds out his coffee cup to Stede in invitation and Stede clinks his own paper cup against it.

"I'll tell you if you show up to our date later," Ed says, winks, and walks away without looking back.

He's pretty proud of that one, he thinks it was a rather suave exit.