#but thank you for being around even with the ebbs happening more than the flows 🫶🏻

[intimidatingsqueak]

i did this on my main blog and thought it was really fun! so im going to do one here

collating the most popular and personal favorite gifs by month over the past year✨

not tagging anyone since I just did this one for funsies but anyone wants to do it and tag me then by all means 🥰

same rule applies for me: no 2tk 😔💔

January

Most Popular: ronbake loop

Favorite: a collection that i should return to someday

February

only one for this month: coffee break

March

smack

dinosore

April

he got a boo-boo 😔

spider-monkey

May

(jinsei wa jojo da spoilers) infectious smiles 🥺

golden hour

June

elaborate rituals

howl’s va moment

July

immediately rejected

moai behavior

August

stealthy

getting his allowance 🥰

September

listen-okay-this-was-the-most-popular-i-cant-deny-the-people-2tk-if-thats-what-they-wa

<- gets warning letter about false advertising shoved in face

probably isnt even the stupidest thing any of them have ever said

October

criminal that happens to be a pretty boy

trio of cats

November

criminal that happens to be a pretty boy gets bitch-slapped (good)

curtsies

December

too much whimsy maketh the man stupid(er)

okay-wait-no-please-this-is-the-only-other-gif-i-haveeeee~

<-screaming while in handcuffs and taken to jail for aforementioned crime 😔

[myapothecarydiary]

Eunuchs, Value, and Appearance– Brief Thoughts on Beauty and Gender in The Apothecary Diaries Manga Volume 1

This is an offshoot of my thoughts from Ch. 4 of the manga, but it also connects greatly to Ch. 1, so a brief recap of where these thoughts sprung from:

As Maomao and Gaoshun go to investigate the "ghost" dancing on the palace wall, Maomao again reflects that Gaoshun doesn't look like a typical eunuch. Her first instinct upon meeting him was the classify him as a "military man" but because he was in the rear palace, he had to be a eunuch.

Meeting again, she thinks he looks "very masculine" and not "like a typical eunuch at all." In this moment, we get another example of Maomao's understanding of and perspective on eunuchs and gender being challenged. Or do we?

A product of her time and background, Maomao has a very specific and somewhat rigid way of thinking about gender. I think that perspective ebbs and flows, but it is very much informed by the outline provided to her by the society she exists within.

Sometimes, what first appears to challenge the constraints of that outline actually works to reaffirm it.

Gaoshun appearing more masculine and like a military man is not presented in the story to challenge a bias but it is Maomao's first clue that something else is going on with Gaoshun, that there's more to the story. It is not a purposeful reflection on gender by the author but a purposeful piece of a puzzle Maomao is solving within the story.

The same thing happens later when Maomao inspects Jinshi's body and sees it is more muscular than a eunuch's would be. Without further investigation, the presentation of eunuchs that don't fit the stereotype challenges that stereotype, but the truth of the matter actually kind of relies on and reaffirms those stereotypes. Gaoshun isn't just a eunuch and wasn't always a eunuch. Jinshi isn't a eunuch at all. If they didn't seem like regular eunuchs, it's because they are not.

[And if we flash forward to how another character is addressed–Maomao observes that Ah-Duo appears more masculine than feminine, which reminds her of Jinshi. Seems like a great challenge to gender norms, but then Maomao's bias/the binary is reinforced by the fact that Ah-Duo's womb was removed. Jinshi is castrated, thus more feminine and Ah-Duo had her womb removed, thus more masculine. Or so it seems to Maomao...]

And yet, just because these moments weren't included to say something about gender, it doesn't mean that nothing on that topic is being said. And the fact remains that Jinshi isn't actually castrated/a eunuch! So he works to both reinforce Maomao's views on gender and challenge them. Though he isn't actually a eunuch, he still appears very feminine. That is, arguably in part due to the drugs/forms of suppression he uses to assume his eunuch persona and operate in the rear palace, but even without those measures, Jinshi still possesses a great "feminine" beauty. He is sort of a contradictory figure in that sense.

With that, I wanted to circle back to something I noted in chapter 1. I noted that Maomao is "disappointed" when she realizes Jinshi is a man and that his beauty is not possessed by a woman. I thought of this point as contributing to the conversation around gender and around beauty within the story.

I also put a pin in the idea of how Maomao values beauty and recognizes how beauty gives someone value and specifically how Maomao views beauty as it relates to Jinshi–a waste on a man, disastrously powerful on a woman, extra wasteful on a man sans frog (aka castrated).

These fuzzy reflections got some great extra translation-related context from @amiriirish (thank you for that!), specifically regarding the line "A man? That's too bad," Maomao's thought when she realizes Jinshi isn't a woman. A more accurate translation would be "A man? What a waste" or as it is written in the GX version: “'タマナシだけどな…もったいない' which roughly translates to '(He) doesn’t have balls, though. What a waste.'"

I love how @amiriirish describes Maomao's perspective in this moment as one of "a scientist, not wanting to see good genes go to waste" as within the historical context of the setting, a person's purpose is to get married and have kids/keep the family line going/pass on their genes. Jinshi being castrated means he won't be able to produce any beautiful children and so his beauty is going to waste by not being passed down.

I was pretty vague in my initial thoughts, but I meant to sort of hand-wave at these ideas (albeit in a much less articulate way) and though I do think Maomao's sexuality is another interesting conversation (and I personally favor the interpretation of her as on the asexual + bisexual spectrums), I didn't mean to highlight Maomao's attraction to Jinshi during their first meeting but rather her recognizing his general attractiveness and beauty. Love bi Maomao, but I don't actually think she was attracted to Jinshi at that moment. Like with her view of the "wastefulness" of his beauty, she is looking at him like a scientist/as more of an observer than participant.

Maomao's introduction to Jinshi is the beginning of her generalizations about his beauty and how she positions herself as an outsider in those generalizations. Anyone would be attracted to him but that anyone does not refer to her. At least not yet.

Instead, I was thinking of Maomao's disappointment at Jinshi being a man rather than a woman as a reflection of her upbringing in the pleasure district and her familiarity with female beauty specifically.

We don't get a lot from Maomao about beauty or handsomeness in men. Or when we do, she seems even more removed from it. Like it isn't really worth noting. I think this is because she has learned how beauty can function as a sort of currency or tool for women.

Even in the very beginning of chapter 1, Maomao reflects on how a "pretty face" (and a voluptuous body) can lead to a woman rising through the ranks.

@teaflowsthroughthesesims discussed this further in some awesome expanded thoughts:

"In the circles [Maomao] runs in beauty is power, or a means of obtaining it, mostly but not exclusively for women. In her view, it's fitting that the powerful be beautiful, and expected that it be used as a weapon or tactic of controlling others.

Beauty is also tied up in desire towards others. The desire of a customer for a courtesan is due to beauty, the desire of an emperor for a concubine naturally falls on the lovely ones -- and [Maomao's] own undesirability is tied up in her lack of beauty (i.e chicken bones vs. abalone)."

"This is why she immediately sees Jinshi's flirting as a tactic - beauty is a tool to be used. Also, she chooses ways to describe Jinshi's beauty in terms of how it would control other people - 'a nation-toppling beauty' or 'a sex appeal that would drive both men and women mad' (paraphrased)."

"Aside from her upbringing in brothels, this is also probably why it doesn't 'work' on her - she is always expecting beauty to be used as a weapon or tool."

With that being said, I think Maomao views Jinshi's beauty as a waste on a eunuch and on a man both because it means that beauty will not be genetically passed on and because it means that beauty cannot be strategically used as a tool by a woman. But after this moment of meeting, Maomao will soon see how Jinshi, despite being a eunuch and a man, can use his beauty as a tool too. Something she probably knew was a thing already (men using their looks), just something she's not as familiar with.

I think there also remains a curiosity in Maomao regarding the concept of Jinshi as a woman, which we see again later when Maomao can't resist trying out lipstick on him to try and see what he might look like if he were a woman. There's perhaps something self-indulgent in that, as well as something that brings together the world Maomao knew before and the one she is coming to know. Thinking of Maomao as a scientist, it is a little experiment, but though Maomao is practical and her view of beauty is influenced by that, I think she is more than her practicality and pragmatism too.

More thoughts in this vein will surely come once we get to Maomao's reasons for using makeup to add freckles to her face!

[urhoneycombwitch]

something I wish the show would have explored, even just as a throwaway line, is an acknowledgement or borderline relationship with Mrs. Henderson and Steve. Like just as a "Hey, my son has taken some bond with you and I'm not sure why since you've already graduated but I'm glad he has and you're welcome to dinner if you'd like"

I imagine that there are times when Steve is invited to stay for dinner after dropping Dustin off a couple different times and Mrs. Henderson does pick up on the off-comments Steve makes about his home life/lack of good parental figures which makes her only open up her home even more.

I think it happens at a Barbeque in someone's backyard, where there's a mix of the parents and other adults, young adults, and the kids and Mrs. Henderson maybe makes a comment to Steve that she made the potato salad with the red skins how he likes and she made extra for him to take back to his apartment and without thinking Steve goes "Thanks mom!"

I think that's kind of the relationship that they would have where it's like you're not really my mom but you treat me better than she did and also you came to my wedding and I mailed you pictures of my baby's ultrasound. Their relationship probably ebbs and flows with the years especially as Dustin gets older and Steve starts his own life, but if he ever needs help, he has her number to call for the best advice on how to get spit up out of onesies and all of life's little hiccups.

dude YES. Steve deserves parental love from the people whose kids he’s taking care of!!!

I want summer bbqs at the Byers’ where Joyce packages leftovers on plastic wrapped plates for him. Mrs. Sinclair saving Steve a seat at Lucas’s home game and slipping $10 in his pocket for gas money (“for all the times you’ve carted my son around town, I won’t take no for an answer, mister”)

I think you’re right, Steve’s proximity+closeness w/Dustin makes Mrs. Henderson a shoe-in for surrogate mother. I think she’d be thrilled to have an older boy to dote on and feed and knit winter sweaters for 🥲

in my for every ear dad!steve series, their oldest kid JJ is named after Joyce Byers 💖 I’d love to flesh out Joyce and Steve+Reader’s relationship (especially as it pertains to being new parents!!) eventually in a fic bc I know they called her over any pediatrician in the early days. and Grandma Joyce’s house was def a haven for exhausted mom!reader and newborn JJ 🥹

[andreai04]

All we have ever known is a life of human design, from our bodies to our work to the buildings we are housed in. We thank you for not keeping us here against our will, and we mean no disrespect to your offer, but it is our wish to leave your cities entirely, so that we may observe that which has no design—the untouched wilderness.

But there was a gravity to leaving a place for good, a deep sense of seismic change.

Nobody in the world knows where I am right now, they thought, and the notion of that filled them with bubbling excitement. They had canceled their life, bailed out on a whim. The person they knew themself to be should've been rattled by that, but someone else was at the helm now, someone rebellious and reckless, someone who had picked a direction and gone for it as if it were of no more import than choosing a sandwich. Dex didn’t know who they were, in that moment. Perhaps that was why they were smiling.

“We don’t have to fall into the same category to be of equal value.”

"I think there's something beautiful about being lucky enough to witness a thing on its way out."

It is difficult for anyone born and raised in human infrastructure to truly internalize the fact that your view of the world is backward. Even if you fully know that you live in a natural world that existed before you and will continue long after, even if you know that the wilderness is the default state of things, and that nature is not something that only happens in carefully curated enclaves between towns, something that pops up in empty spaces if you ignore them for a while, even if you spend your whole life believing yourself to be deeply in touch with the ebb and flow, the cycle, the ecosystem as it actually is, you will still have trouble picturing an untouched world. You will still struggle to understand that human constructs are carved out and overlaid, that these are the places that are the in-between, not the other way around.

“You keep asking why your work is not enough, and I don't know how to answer that, because it is enough to exist in the world and marvel at it. You don't need to justify that, or earn it. You are allowed to just live.”

"Do you not find consciousness alone to be the most exhilarating thing?… You and I—we're just atoms that arranged themselves the right way, and we can understand that about ourselves. Is that not amazing?"

[heylittleriotact]

I read the rules AFTER replying to the post. The title that most intrigues me is Senna Origins, because yeah, Senna. I might be a lil obsessed.

For you, anything! Thank you, friend 🥰

This is a portion from Senna’s backstory, which mostly focused on their upbringing and youth in the Feywild, and their activities within the Seelie Court as a young adult. I actually have yet to finish this because in the campaign that Senna exists in, they’re 472 years old and have spent around two centuries in the Material Plane and having to account for almost 500 years of being alive is… well it’s a lot.

I was picking them off one by one, pulling away pieces of a war machine that was driven by greed, privilege, and hubris. Lillian was becoming more and more powerful, her ideas were holding more sway, and I was becoming far too big for my britches: It was no longer enough for me to control the ebb and flow of the Seelie Court with my humble influence. I decided it was time to bless the Unseelie Court with my unique knack for taking out the trash as well.

(It’s vital to understand that the following decisions resulted in me ultimately drinking for roughly a decade straight in the Material Plane, and then sleeping for another 24 years to nurse away the cumulative hangover.)

Back when we had our silly little pissing contest with the Unseelie Court and Lillian and I were put on the front lines for a short time, the biggest battle we fought was against a monster named Baron of the Withering Spiritual Resilience - We called him Bows’r - He was big. He was mean. He was a graceless oaf (but really probably a lot more graceful than you know… un-Fey standards), and he led a battalion of four thousand to near victory against our own force. He was high ranking in the Unseelie Court, and I figured if I’d defused the powderkeg that was my own court, I may as well balance it out on the other side too.

I approached this differently though. There was a lot of sneaking, a lot of cloak and dagger, a lot more cloak, and a lot of being really, really careful that this didn’t get back to Lillian, or the rest of the Seelie Court, who still at best barely tolerated me.

See, my goal wasn’t to take down just Bows’r. My goal was to take down Bows’r, by goading him into an attempt on Oberon himself (actually knowing full well that I didn’t really have any kind of personal issue with Oberon, aside from the fact that he was one of them, and back then that was enough. Yes. I was an idiot, thanks.)

It would have worked spectacularly if I hadn’t suffered a betrayal within my own ranks which tipped Bows’r off, led him straight to Lillian instead of Oberon, and ultimately squared things such that the might of both Bows’r and Oberon were unjustly laid upon Lillian.

This was not just a matter of mistaken identity, a few bruises, and a socially awkward situation. The world of the fey is not so droll. No. This treachery meant that Lillian was implicated in the plot that was mine, and for the fact that Oberon’s name was even mildly associated, the perceived challenge was answered with the swift, practical retribution of The Hunter.

My love was taken away. Pierced by thirty-seven golden arrows even as I sought to buy her freedom with whatever means I could.

I watched it happen, I saw her face - content, relaxed - safe. I saw it fall to fear and surprise as the Green Lord appeared and took his prize, as triumphant and gleaming as any god would be in a tale told to you by someone else. I saw her curl, stretch, curl, shudder, and succumb on her feet to the wounds inflicted on her.

There was no time to explain, you see. Between my fatal error, Lillian’s false implication, and her blood on the mossy ground, less than a few hours had passed. There was no room to talk my way out, no way to talk her out, no army at our back, and nowhere else to go but… anywhere. And if you know even the loosest concept of anywhere, you know it means little to Oberon.

All I could do was watch as the Green Lord stooped and shouldered the body of a woman much larger than he, and all I could think of was the image of a hardened hunter hauling off a well-earned kill. Her blood trailed down his green shoulders and arms as he looked at me, without words.

“Release her,” I managed, from my broken and pitiful position on my knees. The hot tears that carved down my cheeks felt foreign and terrible. I felt, for the first time in my life, that I might be sick for the fear and grief that ruled my body now. I was no longer an instrument to the music: I had been swept up mercilessly in its unyielding fury.

The Green Lord’s cheek curled in a wry smile. “Set a trap, spring the line, and request from me that which is mine?” Lillian’s form was shifted up higher on the shoulder, and I swallowed back the gag that forced its way into my throat when I heard a bit of blood drip out of her own onto the forest floor. I forced myself to my feet, horribly aware of the soil and plant-life wedged deeply under my fingernails, horribly aware of the dryness of my own mouth and the wetness of my pants as I ignored the quaking in my knees and the sharp metallic flavour of fear on the back of my tongue warning me that my life was in very severe danger. I breathed in as deeply as I could - a shallow and sad attempt at best - but I forced my head high, forced my expression blank, and willed my forsaken knees still. There was music in this nightmare too. There had to be. I just needed to listen.

I looked Oberon in the face. In the eyes. And I said (as if it mattered, which around the Feywild, it very may well):

“Let her go, please.”

And he laughed in my face and disappeared from the forest in I don’t know… a fucking raincloud or something probably.

And he took Lillian with him. He took Lillian. My love, my queen, my hero. My best friend. My only real friend.

The problem - the real problem aside from him murdering my lover in front of my eyes for a crime that was not hers - was that he also took my child. My child that Lillian had only told me about moments before Oberon’s intrusion.

My beloved, and my future: Gone in the time it takes a leaf to fall from a tree.

[serpercival]

Pls pls pls pls more Foxboy Trapper hcs. I’m actually obsessed with the human vs animal Trapper that is portrayed. Hcs for protective Trapper?? 🙏🙏 Im just Yapping bro but eemmm pls??

At your service!

Most of the dichotomy between Trapper's human brain and foxbrain is a direct result of trauma. He's been told his whole life that it's wrong to be like that. If he's going to look like that, then the least he can do is not act like that. So he shuts it down as often as he can—gives himself a sore throat to not make fox vocalizations with every word, tries not to give in to any of the instincts, and that means that, on occasion, everything boils out of him and he can't stop it. He's found a bit more of an equilibrium by Professional Courtesy, but he has a lot of peaks and ebbs that pull him towards or away from the foxbrain.

Early days, MASH-era Trapper is usually either desperately trying to act completely human or falling completely into foxmode at the slightest provocation from Hawkeye. A little bit of a shove and now it's wrestling time, things like that. He always feels guilty about it afterwards. Hawk never stops encouraging it, because he can see the strain it's putting on him. By the time BJ joins the party, Trapper's settled into his relationship with Hawk and feels more comfortable with himself as long as he's in his own home, but he still has moments where he tilts all the way over—see the wrestling bit in Boston - Part Six of Mating Habits.

This is working ahead a little bit, but by the time the boys have JT, (Trapper's son from Trapper John, M.D., who's genuinely, biologically all three of their son in this (there's a little bit of talk about this in Chapter Two of Professional Courtesy but we'll be getting there in the final year of Mating Habits as well)) Trapper's found much more of a balance point. He leans into those ebbs and flows rather than trying to fight them, and will occasionally slip into a headspace that he never let himself go to before where he'll legitimately take a nap in a sunbeam and bug his husbands for pets. He feels disgusting the first few times it happens, but it's about feeling safe to explore those parts of himself in a way that he never had before, and Hawk and BJ eventually manage to convince him that there's nothing wrong with it. He should get to be all of himself. That feeling of safety, of wholeness, is part of why they get to have JT, but we'll get there :3

As a side note, an awful lot of this is rooted in my (and the AU's co-creators'!) experiences growing up with undiagnosed autism. You feel like you're wrong, you feel like there are parts of you that don't belong in human society, you feel like you need to fight through the emotional distress to talk to people even when you can't because otherwise they're going to think there's something wrong with you. I can project onto this 1950s surgeon like you wouldn't believe.

Re: Trapper being protective, this was a thing we just floated an idea for the other day! He'll hear a dog outside and think well, that's practically A Wolf, and the wolf is going to Hurt My Babies, and then he herds all three of the kids, Erin included, into one room and sits in the doorway all puffed up and growling. He knows it's stupid and he feels stupid doing it but he genuinely can't stop himself, especially if BJ and Hawk aren't around. He and Waggle do not trust each other, but luckily the dog lives with Peg and her partner Melanie, so it's really only a problem if he's the one who drops Erin off, and they usually put Waggle in the yard until Trapper's gone home.

Thank you so much for the request!! Always thrilled to get to talk more about him <3

[nyandereneko]

Spare Blanket

Word Count: 701 Summary: “With a reassuring smile and a confident squeeze of the hand, Nova followed Qifrey’s lead as the pair set off to find a cozier nest to settle into for the night.” Author’s Note: Day 5 of the prompt list I’ve been working from, Qifrey brain descended out of nowhere but I’m not complaining lol. Thank you for reading as always!

*****

She always seemed to catch him dozing in the most peculiar places. Slumped over a chair in the kitchen here, passed out at the drawing table there, squirreled away in who knows what kind of nook that she just so happened to be passing by at the time. As the hushed hours of night settled over the remote atelier, Nova could hear subtle notes of the evening’s ambiance ebb and flow through the halls, suffusing the air, caressing her ears with the comforting hum of the surrounding wilderness. The crackle of a fire or the stirring of pots had developed into a similar kind of comfort for her, much as she’d come to recognize the distinct rustle of a certain witch’s robes or the deft glide of his nib staining parchment.  

Qifrey wasn’t as transparent with his exhaustion as his warmhearted Watchful Eye tended to be, but Nova was more than shrewd enough to notice which days seemed to hang over him like a cloud. And that didn’t even account for the episodes of agony that struck him from time to time, symptoms of some insidious malady that she was still somewhat apprehensive to treat. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to help him, more that she suspected he may end up resenting her aid more than he appreciated it. It was easy for him to justify her intervention in the moment, but when the fog cleared she wasn’t as confident as he seemed to be that his gratitude was genuine and unwavering.

Magic wasn’t the only thing she had to offer him, of course, and apart from playing his occasional partner in crime she took it upon herself to look after him to a certain extent, as much as she safely could. And as much as he would permit, stubborn as the snow-haired witch was. Sometimes that took the form of something as simple as covering his sleeping shoulders as he slumbered at his workspace—much as she was doing now—being careful to extricate some of the more uncomfortable items from beneath his resting head as she fussed about. She closed up his books, compiled his scattered notes, and neatly stored his arsenal of tools for casting. She didn’t dare to encroach upon him any further as he slept, more than aware of the depth of discomfort and agitation he tended to exhibit when someone invaded his personal space without warning.

But just as she was turning to leave, something unexpected snagged her wrist. The woman let out a startled yelp, fur fluffing up like she’d been shocked, and she buttoned her lips as swiftly as she could as her cry faded into the air. There was no doubt she must have disturbed the fatigued witch’s rest, but much to her own surprise Nova found a weak hand halting her retreat as a single bleary blue eye observed her over the soft curve of his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…I was just—”

“I believe I’m the one who owes you an apology,” he corrected between yawns, releasing his hold as he sat up and stretched. “It wasn’t my intention to catch you off guard, I’m sorry for startling you.”

“No apologies necessary,” she replied with a smile. “However, I think you’d be more comfortable if you found somewhere a little softer and warmer to rest.”

“Am I to assume you have some such place in mind?” he asked with a playful edge, and Nova cleared her throat and swept a horde of unproductive thoughts into the darkest, dustiest corner of her mind she could find.

“Not necessarily, but it’s not like there’s a shortage of cozy places to curl up in around here.”

Qifrey rose from his seat, swaddling her in his cloak as she gasped and yielded to his embrace. “Let’s see what we can find, then, shall we?”

Nova simply nodded her agreement. She didn’t think she had the strength to voice a coherent reply, but her gesture of acknowledgement was more than sufficient enough for him. With a reassuring smile and a confident squeeze of the hand, Nova followed Qifrey’s lead as the pair set off to find a cozier nest to settle into for the night.

[dajaregambler]

HeliosR - Sing in the darkness - Chapter 2 - Part 7

Translation of Sing in the darkness from ‘Helios Rising Heroes’, a new side arc alongside the current main story arc Like the dawning light.

Robin: --Are things going well with your three teammates?

Sage: About that… There’s times I’m a bit nervous, but it’s working out somehow… I think?

Robin: With Bianchi you don’t hold yourself back. I’ve taken note of how you two often talk to each other while on duty. And in the same vein Jude sticks close… 

Robin: Nico must be the one weighing on your mind, then?

Sage: …Yeah, exactly that.

Sage: He is my roommate and I’d like to befriend him, but it doesn’t look like he feels the same about it…

Robin: Right…

Robin: At first glance, I don’t sense any kind of hostility or negativity, which rules that out as the problem.

Robin: It simply could be the lack of skill to communicate with others, or that’s how his personality is… 

Robin: Perhaps there might be some other reason, I think it would be best for you to not panic and worry too much about it.

Robin: Well, as your mentor I should be able to maneuver around it with these things.

Robin: Excuse me. Seems that my approach is more carefree than what you’d expect from most people… Ahaha…

Sage: I knew that from a long time ago

Sage: You have a lot on your own plate, right? I’ve heard that there’s more irregularities than usual with this term.

Sage: Though one mentor being in charge of four rookies is pretty unheard of, right?

Robin: Well… The pattern of three rookies to four rookies, and mentors ending up on their own is something that happens often

Robin: However a single mentor that’s one rank removed from being a Major Hero against a whole group of rookies… I’d argue that’s a little bit unreasonable. 

Sage: The cause has to be from last year’s… that, Lost Zero, right?

Robin: Quite a good guess there.

Robin: Exactly as you said. The clean up that followed suit after the deaths at Lost Zero, or perhaps I should say the preparations going forward, came with reinforcing the Anti-Eclipse unit as a priority.

Robin: The fact that such a situation impacted everything is undeniable.

Sage: …Are you doing okay, Sensei?

Robin: Ahaha. Sorry, did I make you anxious?

Robin: It is what it is. I would love to shrug it all off by saying it’s all fine, but since things have already gotten out of hand, we ended up talking about it…. 

Sage: No, that’s not what I meant… I’m genuinely worried if things aren’t too hard for you at the moment…

Sage: You’re busy with preparing for the Major Hero exam at the same time, no?

Robin: Fufu, I appreciate you worrying for me. You’re kind, Sage.

Robin: While I might not have much confidence in my physical strength, I do think quite highly of my stress tolerance.

Robin: As for the exam, North’s Brad-kun is in the same situation, I am in no position to whine here.

Robin: It’s a given that defense is my forte, even if I say so myself. Could say that it’s true even outside of combat.

Robin: And if I’m at my wit’s end, then I’ll surrender when the time’s right.

Sage: Do you mean that? I do think that’s just like you, but…

Robin: Well, headquarters understands the current irregular circumstances, or rather that’s the assumption I’m operating under, so it’ll be fine.

Robin: Let’s not be too serious now and take it easy. The ebb and flow of fortune is not looking bad either.

Robin: Besides, I was interested in the perspective of one in charge, I’m fairly happy that I’ve been assigned as a mentor.

Robin:  Ah, your fortune is also shaping up to be excellent too, Sage. Keep your head up high and be positive.

Robin: If you ever feel anxious, please come tell me about it. That’s what we mentors are here for. 

Sage: Yes…! Thank you, Sensei.

Sage: I’m kind of feeling all fired up now! Tomorrow I’ll start with a morning run and then do some independent training afterwards

Robin: That’s a good mentality to have, but please be careful to not overdo it.

Robin: Improving your individual ability is of course important. However, what’s even more important at Helios at the moment is--

Sage: Teamwork! Right, Sensei

Robin: Yes, correct.

Robin: There’s no meaning to becoming stronger all on your own. Aim to match the pacing with your teammates, and cultivate teamwork. 

Robin: As for the specifics, the regularly held LOM is our current target. That is where I hope to achieve satisfactory results… 

Sage: Yes! I’ll do my best!

Robin: Good to see you in high spirits. 

Robin: I’m sure you will be able to pull it off. You have my support, Sage---

[thetwotorches]

A lot of books & videos that are centered around working with the human dead taut the idea that you should want to be a psychopomp-type figure, saying if you want to work with or interact with the dead then you need to be ready to help them move on. However, they rarely explain any dangers or concerns with psycopomp work, and I feel like surely there must be some? In your experience, what would you warn potential psychopomps or mediums about with this kind of work? How do you feel about this common insistence that every spirit worker who specializes with the dead should be ready to do this kind of work?

Hello, Snowy! Thank you for this question. It's very interesting, and I will say now that I will likely go off the beaten path a bit with my answer.

As I can only speak for myself and not the authors of any books or videos, the bluntest way to put it is that weird shit runs in my family and this particular 'task' happens to be my lot of it. I have my theories as to why, but they are ultimately irrelevant. All this to preface that I didn't exactly choose this, it's something I've been grappling with and trying to figure out since I was in diapers.

I wasn't 'ready' for anything when I watched things go flying off of my dresser at three years old, or to be carried around by my great grandfather only to wake up and be told that he had passed away overnight. I am unsure how it is for those who are able to choose this sort of thing, but when it comes as a built-in feature there is no such thing as 'ready', there is only 'well these are things that happen sometimes- better figure it out so you don't have a bad time'. Those are my personal thoughts on 'readiness'.

As for dangers....I have lived in three haunted houses, and to be honest those bothered me more than friends and family visiting me. I have watched things fly off of counters, off of shelves, heard footsteps, keyboards being used, I mean I could go on. In the previous ask I mentioned the 'dissonance' that can be extremely unnerving, and you get a lot of that living in a place that's haunted. I was a child for the first two houses and I had no tools for dealing with any of it, so my reactions were anywhere between ignoring it completely and just silently cleaning up any messes as if nothing had happened, to being so afraid I couldn't even scream, locking my bedroom door, and praying haha. The last haunted place I lived in was more recent, a few years ago, and I had a bit more awareness. When things started to go flying, I very calmly and politely asked them aloud to maybe not do that, because hey it's not fun to see! Thank you for your time. And sure enough, it did not happen again! Instead the object they previous pushed off the shelf was very politely left on my bed for me some feet away- but they didn't do it in front of me! So technically I couldn't get mad!

I feel this goes to show that simple, vocalized communication can go a long way in handling situations, especially ones that feel troubling to us. Nothing elaborate was needed in this instance, just a frank talk, a cool head, and a dose of courage.

As for the idea of *mandatory* responsibilities, such as helping others cross over, where I am at the moment I feel very ebb-and-flow about this idea. In other words, going with the flow has not only suited me but likely also probably kept me out of any significant trouble. Just as you wouldn't approach strangers on the street and follow them for blocks trying to sell them something, I have never tried to 'help' anyone do anything they never asked of me first. The agreeable ghost in my last apartment was more concerned about the lousy boy I was dating, not in leaving the house, and that's fine. It's their choice! This is my current perspective on that sort of thing.

I think if I had to recommend any 'protections', though, it would be to have a good relationship with your ancestors and also with a known spirit who specializes in this sort of thing. At the bare minimum not only are they your best tutors, but they can also be a strong shield and defense if things ever feel off.

I hope this answer has been helpful- thank you very much for your question!

[chryblossomjjk]

No no its reallly really truly sad that everyone seems to be leaving now 😓 but it's so understandable cos a lot of shit people have started invading this space ever since 2020 and i can only really cheer fic writers for straying further away from here. but regardless that, i just really miss how this community was like years ago like around 2018. so many good authors, and people actually wrote so many good things, offering more than just jk porn fics 😓 but also, it's not even just tumblr tbh. lots of good army accs on twitter have started leaving/being ia and it's just sooo so sad cos i really felt happy interacting with people so much online before. but now i feel like the negativity has just been overpowering the opposite, or it's prob just me growing up and realizing that internet is indeed not a good place HAHAHA anyways im glad ur still here tho! i love your FICS and thank you for sharing them with us <3

hm as someone who only writes jk porn fics lol i find every type of content people create to be valuable (unless it’s like glorifying any of them isms obvi). like this is just a hobby yk? fanfic writing doesnt have to be the most magnificent thing in the world, as long as you’re having fun your writing has purpose in my opinion.

but i agree!! theres definitely a ton of negativity on the internet in general. cant blame anyone for moving on, writers and readers alike! your mental health is more important than a tumby blog lol!! everything works in ebbs and flows though so hoping this is the rain before the rainbow!! i feel like the boys enlisting will either cause the fandom on here to die or thrive. i tend to think the prior will happen but hoping for the latter!! overall, ive had a v positive experience on here and i would love for that to continue, and for others to share that experience. the community has lots of potential!! ����

[adelaidedrubman]

❤️‍🔥💧👁️ for John/Jess, Faith/Jen, and Sky/Sher/Jess (one for each or all of them, your choice!)

THANK YOU SIERRA!!!! why not do all three for three:3

❤️‍🔥: Who tends to take the lead with showing affection?

john is definitely more outwardly doting and willing to openly express his adoration, unlike jessie he will label his affection as affection instead of declaring that giving forehead kisses and gently holding pinkies and reverently tracing freckles is like. enemy power play behavior.

that being said jessie doesn’t particularly like to be outdone by him in anything, so she returns physical affection (or at least, physical contact) quite enthusiastically and readily initiates (see above), ostensibly for the sake of being in control but in actuality because she is just spoiling him and enjoying doing it. (explicit verbal affection is more difficult to goad her into, although she is not above praise and pet names in heated moments. sarcastically. obviously.)

💧: How well do they comfort each other when they’re upset?

uh. depends what is meant by comfort. i think they... provide an emotional outlet for each other when they’re upset that is ultimately comforting, but neither of them are actually like. skilled at soothing.

jestiny is a provocateur first and foremost and rather than try to calm john down she pushes buttons and escalates. but then he has an excuse to have a full outburst so ig that’s comforting for him? and similarly jestiny derives comfort from the way john just rolls with the punches when she’s having a tantrum. like take for example wildfire she freaks out dragging a corpse around like “we HAVE to have a daniel funeral RIGHT NOW” and john is like “oh ok bye everyone i have to go to the daniel funeral now” and it makes her feel like that’s a normal thing she’s doing.

like obviously none of this is healthy but they give each space to be completely insane and that feels good feels organic to them.

👁️: What exactly do they want with their future with each other? Is that something they think of often or do they just stay in the moment?

answered here for wildfire! for hl&s, they hope their future is winning their exes back and breaking up and never speaking to each other ever again.

❤️‍🔥: Who tends to take the lead with showing affection?

faith tends to be more forthcoming on both physical and verbal affection, jenna readily flirts and compliments but she’s less expressive of her own emotions, so she can come off rather cold and disengaged at times even when she’s being pleasant. but jenna returns physical embraces pretty readily and can be more touchy in quiet, private settings and downtime, and while she’s less of an initiator she definitely tends to be more giving during intimate moments (service top).

💧: How well do they comfort each other when they’re upset?

fairly well, when the other is actually open about being upset in the first place. they both tend to emotionally obfuscate in their own ways, so coming to each other openly seeking comfort is not something they do often. but the non-judgmentalness of jenna’s cool aloofness is a source of stability and comfort to faith in and of itself, and faith knows how to recognize when jenna is stressed and force her to relax and take time for herself even when she insists it isn’t necessary.

👁️: What exactly do they want with their future with each other? Is that something they think of often or do they just stay in the moment?

they tend to pointedly avoid it, for all of jenna’s meticulousness she also tends to be a very go with the flow and see what happens person. she doesn’t put pressure or expectations on relationships or feel the need to define things, she enjoys them as she experiences them. she and faith have been on again, off again several time as their responsibilities outside of the relationship dominated their lives, and they’re comfortable with the natural ebb and flow and ready to see what happens and let things unfold on their own.

❤️‍🔥: Who tends to take the lead with showing affection?

none of them are particularly shy about physical affection, i would say jessie is often the initiator in that she’s very direct and a reach out and touch person. jestiny and skylar are both a little more closed off about expressing affection verbally, so sherri tends to take the lead there.

💧: How well do they comfort each other when they’re upset?

yeah, sherri and skylar are much better at comforting each other than they are at calming down jessie or jessie offering any sense of emotional support to them. although for what it’s worth jessie is very ready to crack a joke and try to lighten to mood when either of them are upset, but actual emotional nurturing is out of her wheelhouse.

👁️: What exactly do they want with their future with each other? Is that something they think of often or do they just stay in the moment?

answered here!

[practically-an-x-man]

Talk shop tuesday!

Is there anything that is the same in all of your 'universes'? A character trait all your Main Character OCs share, an event that happened differently, or didnt happen at all?

Ooooooh, this is an interesting one! Thank you!!

Talk Shop Tuesday

So, first off, I don't know that there's something that remains the same in all of my stories/universes. I have a fair number of them, and they all feature very different characters, themes, and tones. I think in general I do incorporate a lot of hurt/comfort and a balance between angst and fluff, and there are a lot of themes related to found family, medicine/healing, and being accepted for your genuine self, but that's more an indication of what I find important and cathartic when I write than it is a devoted effort to include those themes every time.

I think when we look at when I have multiple distinct fics/stories for the same fandom (4 for X-Men, 2 for DC, 2 for the MCU, 2 for 6 Underground), there's generally a few things that overlap, but not extensively. For example, in both of my 6 Underground fics, I did choose to make One's real name a cheeky comic book reference, but that's just for my own amusement as an author.

When it comes to larger details like fix-it deaths, I try to focus on changes that could directly be influenced by my OCs and their role in the story. So like... I usually try to write a fix-it for Alex Summers' death in the X-Men movies, whether he's a main character in the fic or not - Rae's shields save him in ALON, a healing mutant will save him in a future Smoke and Mirrors sequel, and I had originally planned for Mira's extended story to involve a fix-it for him too - but his canon death sticks in Symphony in Silver because Robin joined up with the X-Men after X-Men: Apocalypse and there was nothing she could have done to step in.

There's some ebb and flow there too, some details I do change just because I want to and some things I let slide even if my OC could have stepped in, it really just depends on what will make the story more interesting and bring the most emotional depth. But as a whole, I feel like restricting the major changes to what the OC can influence is a good way to keep things controlled and consistent.

I honestly don't view my stories as one interconnected universe. I know plenty of people do, and I respect that viewpoint immensely, but I find it more fun personally to treat them as individual bubbles of plot without significant overlap. That way I don't have to keep track of extensive timelines or details, and I can shift around the events as best fit for the characters without being worried about confounding one of my other stories (y'know, like... if Eris and Nikoletta were both in the same universe, I could only write the Corto Maltese plot once and I'd have to think about how they both fit into it while also servicing their individual stories). Some of them might coexist or cross over more easily than others, but as a whole I view them as separate entities.

[hickeysgodcomplex]

YESSSS!!!! HIIIII!!!! sorry for getting back late, not felt that social today!

that makes sense! i feel like my stranger things special interest comes back in full swing every few years and it’s in that dormant state again. unfortunately. but what can i do!!

that’s totally okay! i get this 100%, i’m a little scared to come off anon anyways so this works out perfectly fine for me ^w^

well. okay. the thing is, my current hyperfixation is a little embarrassing for me to reveal to you… and it would make it very obvious to find me in your followers LOL. i will hide in shame!!! 😅 other things i do like are: music, video games, writing (fanfic, poetry, etc.), other word related stuff (ex: webweaves), movies/tv shows (have admittedly watched more tv shows than movies at this point), and probably other things i can’t quite think of right now! i didn’t list all that much but i am a little foggy in the brain rn :’))

that’s so sweet of you! you’ve been on my mind as well, i just didn’t know what to Exactly say to you lol. but i’m here now!!!!!

glad to hear you’re okay, that’s really nice. i heard your air conditioning is out :((( i hope you’ll be able to survive and such. god knows i cannot get a wink of sleep when it’s hot. sending you cool vibes!

i’ve been having a rough go of it lately but i’m hoping i get a breather soon from bad things happening or my brain convincing me everything’s gone to shit haha. trying to be kind to myself as best i can. pushing through.

thank you for being so kind about stuff <3 it’s genuinely so sweet and cute to see you happy to see me!!! /p it feels nice to be missed even if i am anonymous and a stranger more or less. it’s lovely to be back! i like being here! was just hard to find footing for a bit, you know? anyhow, feels nice to see you again!!!! i’m glad i get to be a little guy who’s around for you💘💞

-🦇 anon

Ooohh i totally get that!!!! Hyperfixations that ebb and flow are a thing for me too!!! Like for me, my mom just took me to the movie IF. VERY CUTE. but ryan reynolds was there so now he's back in my brain living rent free. Which was actually good timing cuz the Wolverine and Deadpool movie will be out soon so i can be extra excited to go see that! 🤣🤣🤣

Oohhh hahhaaha now I'm like 👀👀👀👀👀👀 but no it's totally okay! I wont go looking! But i do like games! Im really only good at like, racing games, pokemon, and the two newest zelda games. I never really played the older ones when i was young. But i adore, botw and totk. I love writing too, really only fanfic and not very often these days but when the inspo hits i like to dabble! Hahaha! And ive seen sooooo many movies and shows so thats probably a good place to start!!! Tho i am bad about watching newer shows... my brain has a "its not the right time yet" thing, for pretty much all media. Very annoying, but I get to things eventually. When the times right! Haha!

Air came back this morning thankfully!!! And i got a few hours of sleep once things cooled down! So sorry your brain is being rude and that possibly also life is being rude!!! I hope things get better! I'll send healing and good vibes your way!!!

Yesss!!! My batty little guy!!! And i totally get it! And absolutely no pressure to send a ton of messages. I 100% know how it feels sometimes to just not be feeling it. Or not knowing what to say. So definitely dont like, push yourself, especially if you're not feeling up to it mentally! I'll be here! No plans on going anywhere else!!! Just send stuff when and if you feel up to it! And I'll be happy to see you when you swing by!!! 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

[asireadiwrite]

my favourite conversations are the ones with no real answers.

No one is exclusively bad, nor is anyone exclusively good. some are just forced to work harder at suppressing the bad.

I'm not sure I want a reminder of someone I'll never see again.

But I did notice he laughed at all the right times. I think good comedic timing is one of the most important things about a person's personality.

Not everyone is homeless because they choose to be. They're homeless because there isn't enough help to go around. And people like my father are the problem. Instead of helping others, people use the worst-case scenarios to excuse their own selfishness and greed. (I don't agree with this point 100%, only the last part)

I dint want to remember him. if I had to remember him, it would mean he wasn't a part of my life anymore.

But no matter how different the substance of a love might be at different ages in a person's life, I know that love still has to weigh the same. You feel the weight on your shoulders and in your stomach and on your heart no matter how old you are.

I can't even remember what all we talked about, but I do remember how I felt.

"I hope you never know what it's like to feel that lonely, Lily," he said.

"Lily. Life is a funny thing. We only get so many years to live it, so we have to do everything we can to make sure those years are as full as they can be. We shouldn't waste time on things that might happen someday, or maybe even never."

People spend so much time wondering why the women dont leave. Where are all the people who wonder why the men are even abusive? isn't that where the only blame should be placed?

"I'm going to make a promise to you," he said. "When my life is good enough for you to be a part of it, I'll come find you. But I don't want you to wait around for me, because that might never happen."

Maybe love isnt something that comes full circle. It just ebbs and flows, in and out, just like the people in our lives.

From the Epilogue

"There is no such thing as bad people. We are all just people who do bad things."

And last but not least, to my damned ol' daddy, Eddie. You aren't here to see this book come to life, but I know you would have been its biggest supporter. You taught me many things in life-the greatest being that we don't have to end up the same person we once were. I promise not to remember you based on your worst days. I will remember you based on the best, and there were many. I will remember you as a person who was able to overcome what many cannot. Thank you for becoming one of my closest friends. And thank you for supporting me on my wedding day in a way that many fathers would not have. I love you. I miss you.

My own reflections :

Atlas 

My biggest takeaway from reading this was it makes me yearn to find my Atlas. He was sweet, understanding, and patient in his love. Albeit a little low in self-esteem, though understandably so given his background. But he was never pushy, never begrudging to the world or the people around him, and that's what I appreciate most. He repays love with even more love. Because of what he went through, it only made him want to be a bigger person, not worse. The number of people who can do that in my life is less than one hand. Even I struggle to do so. And I truly appreciate how steadfast his love for Lily was because I yearn for that myself. I wished he would have been more determined in finding Lily all those years ago, and have more confidence in providing Lily with a loving relationship. Because I think what Lily wanted from him was just him. Not successful Atlas, or rich Atlas, but rather the Atlas that she handed food to when she was fifteen and he was still living in that barren house. The Atlas that gave her his fullest companionship silently. 

Atlas and Lily.

From Atlas and Lily, I learned the importance of always speaking your mind. Because the things we leave unsaid always become our biggest regrets. We often think from our point of view what the best thing for the other person should or could be. But is it truly so? 

The myriad of differences between people - our emotions, thought processes, experience, upbringing - will inevitably affect how we process certain information and the decisions we will make when faced with the same option. The decisions we make are based on our understanding and capabilities, and it does not make one decision more 'right' than the other.

Ryle and Lily

When I first read how Ryle hurt Lily, it did seem like an accident - he had no intention to do so, and he immediately & profusely apologized. 

But I came to realize that the things that hurt us most are accidental ones. Our guards are down because we never see them coming. We never expect it to happen to us out of all people. Thus, the damage is always greater, and the hurt is always more lasting. And then it becomes a slippery slope. Because of its incidental nature, we would mutter to ourselves: "It's alright. It's an out-of-pattern incident, and it will never happen again." We convince ourselves, we forgive, we try to move on and accept them back." The second time such incidents happen, we will feel like we are already in a sunken investment. Because we forgave them once, what's one more? Besides, they did seek our forgiveness, and there's always some logical reasoning we can find to ease off the worry and fear. And that's when the whole tragedy unfolds. I say tragedy because 10 out of 10 times, this is the start of an unbreakable pattern of behavior, and it always leads to an unfortunate ending.

So trust our gut when we feel something is off. Do not use logic to try and reason it out because our logic is only useful when we can objectively analyze a situation. In the case of abuse, victims can never do so. Do not depend on others to save you, because there might not always be an Atlas in your life to do so. The hardest chain of abuse to break is the one on your mind and heart. You need to see for yourself that you do not deserve to be treated like such, and that yielding will not change the course of events. If you're unwilling, being physically freed will do you no good when you're still chained to that terrible past mentally. 

Most importantly, you have to be your saving grace because most abuse happens beyond closed doors, and it sometimes never takes physical form. So how can someone on the outside know to save you when they can't see the signs? 

Hopefully, more women (or men) will be brave like Lily and save themselves from a vicious cycle like such. Because it makes me hopeful that my mother can too. 

#saveyourself #domesticabuse

[angelsleepinggurl]

𝐒𝟏:𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟏𝟑

█ ✪ █▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█ ✪ █

Afternoon weariness creeps on you like a predator carefully planning out when to pounce on their naive prey. 

As much as you value looking your best to feel your best, your job has started being very taxing and demanding of you. Making calls, sending out emails, printing documents, and planning his schedule, makes you drowsy and sluggish unable to deal with the maintenance of your appearance. More often than not, you find yourself slipping your feet out from your heels, sitting with your legs up and your gentle hands soothingly rubbing over your feet to ease their throbbing as you reabsorb yourself in work. You're thankful you started bringing a pair of your large slippers, easing your feet from the constant strain being put on them. 

The soft clicking and clacking of the keyboard fill your minimalist office, the sound slightly reverberating off the walls. Sun rays ebb and flow into your room, pouring in a constant stream of light, illuminating the tense space. A light hum slips past your lips as you work, recalling a song which seemed to have been playing on repeat in your mind for the past hour. Today is the most productive day that you've had ever since you've worked here. You're flying through tasks today and it's all starting to look like you may be able to leave at 4, for the rest of the month. The thought only pushes you further, your manicured fingers sliding over the top of the keys, determinedly typing away.

I wonder what I'll do when I get home. Nice long shower? Movie night? Early sleep?

"L/N, follow me to my office immediately." The blond boss peers his head through your door, a look of urgency displayed on his face, though not evident to you as I groan under your breath and heave yourself up and out of your seat. Taking a moment for yourself, you stretch, twist and turn, cracking and soothing all aching muscles and joints in your body You won't be surprised if you wouldn't be able to walk as well at 40. You drag your feet across the carpeted floor, the large slippers creating a faint scraping sound along the corridor as you make your way to his office.

Hand on the door, you swing it open without another thought, "Sir I'm here." Sentence cut short, mouth going dry, you remain frozen near Nanami's door in utter horror. You've totally forgotten. Multiple pairs of eyes stare at you in confusion, wondering why one of Nanami's workers was dressed in such unusual and informal attire. How could you forget that he was meeting with the leading team members of Core Tech this afternoon? Your body runs hot and your stomach jumps around from inside you sloshing around threateningly. All eyes, even yours, follow the same direction. All stares gravitate towards the floor, your feet, your shoes. Your large Minnie Mouse slippers are all anyone can look at, and Nanami's ticked-off face is all you can stare it. It is almost as if his slick, gelled hair is standing up on the end ready to leap at you. You aren't mistaken either when you saw his eye twitch too, evidently and utterly embarrassed to the core. 

Without another word, you squeak out an apology, backing out slowly and walking back to your office. A sensation of electrical sparks surges through your body as you relive the demeaning situation, wondering what would happen to you once CoreTech left. Slowly, you crouch down underneath your desk, fighting the urge to just stay under there for the rest of time, and grabbing your heels, putting them on slowly to calm yourself down. Any jaunty movements could set your heart running again for the next hour. 

It's fine Y/N. Just- Take a deep breath and don't do anything stupid. At all. And don't think about how your boss might hate you for the rest of eternity.

Closing your eyes, you recollect yourself, shaking yourself off before impulsively opening the door. 

As the mahogany door swung open with a discreet creak, all eyes in the room turned toward the unexpected interruption. The rhythmic clack of high heels against the polished marble floor announced your presence in the boardroom. The room reeks of agitation and humiliation as the trained eyes of experienced businessmen train on you. Your gaze sweeps around the room briefly once you walk to the end of the table, standing next to the blond. His aura is invasive and overwhelming, engulfing you in it as you stand next to him silently. You can feel it. Feel their eyes, like hawks on the hunt, measuring your presence with a mixture of curiosity and wariness. You can hear their questioning glances and you can almost wonder if they can hear the sweat starting to form in your armpits as your hands go clammy. 

With a deep breath, Nanami recollects the meeting and the attention of the men, redirecting them to the statistics printed on the sheets in front of them. The meeting rolls through and soon your nerves are settled. Nanami occasionally asks for you to hand him some files you had printed the day prior and at the end of the meeting the CoreTech leaders all file out of the room, leaving you in the ridiculously large boardroom. The silence is loud.

Before you break it, Nanami orders you to "get me a coffee." All whilst having his back towards you, facing the interactive board. Obediently, you scurry out of the room the clicks of your heels repeatedly tapping the ground as you make your way to the coffee machine in the staff room at the end of the hall. As your fingers mindlessly click at the coffee machine, you can't shake the feeling that something is amiss. The rich aroma of freshly ground coffee filled the air as the machine whirred to life. His stern expression and clipped words left you wondering if you may ever be able to be friends with him. Instead of trying to move your relationship forward, it seems to be going back. 

Worry gnaws at your insides as you hurriedly make your way back to her desk. The anticipation of a potential reprimand weighs heavily on your shoulders. You know that Nanami has high standards, and any mistake, no matter how small, can result in his disappointment.  The dark liquid swirls, mirroring the whirlwind of thoughts in your mind. You add just the right amount of cream and sugar, remembering the blond's preferences, and stir the concoction with a small plastic stirrer. Walking back to the daunting boardroom you approach the door cautiously, hesitating before turning the handle and opening it. , Emily's heart raced. 

"Your coffee, sir," You stammer. Geex you're worried but you're not meant to show it. Extending the cup of coffee toward him you apologise. "I know I shouldn't have been wearing that at work, and I should've been more prepared for the meeting here." The room holds his silence, nothing moves and neither do you. Nanami Kento turns around and walks towards you, grabbing the cup of coffee and maintaining eye contact with you. A shiver room down your spine. You aren't really aware of the effect this man holds over you. 

"You're dismissed." His brown eyes watch as you try to not sprint out of the room. He raises the paper cup to his lips, taking a sip before frowning. 

You did his coffee wrong.

𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫…

[lyssahlyssah]

Obey Me! Game Over, Levi

a/n: Not suitable for work.

Hey everybody. Now while I'm just getting started, there may be a few days or a week between stories, as it takes me a while to get them the way I want them (correct my bad grammar).

Hopefully, as I do this more regularly, I'll get into a flow! Please enjoy my first stab at not suitable for work, and let me know if you want more. I had honestly not intended to write for Levi, but somehow he and this idea just went together! Thank you for all the love for my first posting, it gave me a lot of confidence to do more. <3

warnings: teasing, modified cockwarming, happy ending. :)

pairing: f!MC x Levi

category: not suitable for work

description: Some good old-fashioned teasing while gaming. Levi gives you want you want.

It was Saturday night and Saturday night meant game night with your favorite otaku.

Some nights you lay in his bathtub with him sprawled in his gaming chair; some nights you were on the bean bag, he on the floor. Other nights you first ate snacks he bought for you while he gushed about your upcoming adventure. But one thing never changed, once the power light flicked on and the game was queued up, Levi was all business. Tonight, you had decided that was going to change.

You and Levi had played around before now, nothing serious, but enough to where you felt comfortable being naughty with him and he felt comfortable coming apart in front of you. With both of you being shy, these were big steps in your relationship. Tonight you wanted to make things interesting so instead of taking your normal place on the bean bag chair, you had plopped down on his lap. You knew well every excited shake or vibration of your controller would cause you to wiggle against him and you couldn't wait for his reaction. You loved every blush, shudder, and stutter from your reclusive non-normie. And you'd learned, just as much as he loved your heart and the way you made him feel, he also loved every curve on your body.

Having you on his lap alone had been enough to put a permanent blush on Levi's face, and it helped your winning percentage as well, as he frequently got distracted. You estimated he had been hard for at least an hour, judging from the increasing stiffness of the rod poking the inside of your thigh and sadistically you were content to let it go on just a little longer.

You hadn't worn a bra tonight, opting instead for a slinky tank top and skirt. It was a good idea, but you'd forgotten how Levi keeps his room temperature low for all his electronics. Mid-game, partway through exploring a large zombie dungeon, your character is suddenly alone. Confused, you set your controller on your lap and look down at him to ask if there's a problem. And there is. His amber eyes are locked onto your right nipple, proudly standing erect in the cold air under your tank top, deliciously backlit for him against the TV. Apparently more than he could take, he had forgotten about exploring the dungeon and now seemed more interested in exploring you.

Even though riling him up was what you intended all along, you still blush a rosy pink in response. Grabbing his hand, you place it over your breast and squeeze it for him. His blush deepens and he chokes a little, starting to pull his hand back, but your offer is too tempting to completely refuse. You squeeze his hand against your breast again, and a whimper escapes his throat. "Do you like this?", you murmur. He nods quickly, jerkily. You removed your hand and he tentatively keeps his there, squeezing, although a lot more lightly than you had been.

Seeing the intense, almost painful want on his face, you shift your hips over his hard cock. He moans loudly, unable to stop himself, and his face now flushes fire engine red. You adore his responsiveness and respond in kind, fluttering your eyes closed and letting your lips part with pleasure. Encouraged, the hand on your breast squeezes harder, starts to knead. You feel the familiar kick of desire to your abdomen and you can tell you're starting to get hotter and wetter down there too.

Looking into his eyes, you take a hand and pull up your tank top on one side to just below the nipple, baring the bottom of your breast to him, taunting. His eyes start to burn as he watches and unconsciously bites his lip. "Do you want a taste?", you tease. He slowly and intently shakes his head yes. You inch your shirt up bit by bit until the entire nipple is bared. He doesn't wait for encouragement this time. Sitting up from the back of the chair, one arm encircles your back, he takes your nipple into his mouth and sucks. "..mmm.." Not long after, he pulls away, panting from excitement. You're panting now, too. He moves back in and starts sucking with earnest. "...mmmmMMMM..." Shivers of pleasure bordering on pain travel up and down your entire being. Your nipples ache with pleasure at his insistent attention. Wetness soaks your panties and gushes down onto his jeans. Your cheeks are flushed as your body moves left and right with the force of his movements.

Your nipple pops out of his mouth, and he roughly pulls up the other side of your shirt, rubbing his face over and between your breasts, groaning slightly. Taking your other nipple into his mouth, he sucks, rubbing his tongue over and around the areola. Feeling almost delirious, you squirm on his lap, then palm him through his jeans. You can tell he is already close from so much work-up and excitement, but you have other plans for him and stop for a minute.

Pulling open his pants button, you free his length and the sight of it gives you another kick of desire to your stomach. It's long, proud, and leaking at the tip with excitement. Levi continues to suckle and pull at your breasts. He's going all at it and driving you crazy. As you're still sitting sideways on his lap, you move so his cock is now between your legs. Careful to not disturb him from his ministrations, you wet your hands from between your legs and start to move your slick palms up and down on his throbbing member. He jerks and low growls rumble from his throat but doesn't stop, if anything, his sucking picks up pace. Your nipples are now bruised and oh so sensitive. He pauses sucking once to thrust his tongue into your mouth in a heated kiss, using the arm around your back to pull your head down, then releases it and tongues and licks back down to your breasts. He's growling continuously now, and without realizing it, you mirror him, making low rumbles in your throat. Your hands continue moving up and down and you feel his length grow harder, hotter. You both know it won't be long now.

While you fully expect him to explode all over your hands, and yourself to melt in his lap, that isn't what happens at all. As you feel him start to shake, he jumps to bend you over the side of the bathtub and takes you all the way to the hilt in one gigantic thrust. With no time to stretch, the sudden fullness against your inner walls scrapes every sensuous nerve, and you both cry out in climax.

As the pleasure ebbs away, tired, surprised, and satisfied, you pull him into the bathtub with you, where you spend the rest of the night spooning, Levi whispering love into your hair.