#but ted says her name before jamie so that’s that shut down

[thetarttfuldickhead]

I find it vaguely interesting that while Ted struggles to get a proper read on the whole Jamie’s dad situation he doesn’t for one second buy Jamie’s attempt at explaining away his decision leave City for LCA. “Thought it would be fun,” Jamie says. “Build up me brand.” And Ted just keeps looking at him until Jamie – very quickly, incidentally– folds and admits that he did it to piss off his dad. Like, Ted might resist the realisation of how badly James fucks with Jamie, but he knows enough about Baby Tartt to know that, for all his vanity and arrogance, Jamie wouldn’t jeopardize his football career quite as carelessly as that, not just for kicks and giggles.

Just. Ted gets it and doesn’t get it at all in equal measure, yeah? And that’s just really fascinating.

[axelsagewrites]

Roy Kent*Bus Buddy

Pairing: Roy x reader

Word count: 2511

Warnings: pure fluff, Jamie flirting with reader, protective Roy, swearing

Masterlist here

at the same time that Ted got hired Rebecca had also decided she needed an assistant to enact her perfect revenge, so the boys often saw you walking around Richmond or at press interviews. Any time you entered the locker room wolf whistles from Jamie rang across the room followed by a loud ‘shut it’ from Roy. Usually, you’d object to Jamies actions, but the routine had become so common you found it funny especially when Roy dogged him into Keeley one time, and you saw him drag Jamie by the ear.

You weren’t sure why the tough and silent Roy Kent was so protective of you, but you were grateful to know walking into a locker room filled with men that he had your back. the longer you were around the team though you realised none of the boys would even hurt a fly.

still locker rooms or crowded hotel lobbies could get rowdy, and Roy almost acted as security, weaving you through the crowd and telling everyone to fuck off. any thanks you gave him were met with grunts, nods, or two-word answers.

sometimes you had to talk to Roy though, but you never complained. whenever you had forms for him to sign or events you wanted him to attend, sadly only on a work basis, he gladly complied without fuss. feeling his hand brush, yours as he took the pen from your hand or getting to secretly glance at his face as he filled out the forms was enough to make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

you’d convinced yourself your crush was harmless. after all he was Roy Kent, an absolutely loaded footballer with an exterior tougher than diamond. its not like you flirted with him or stared at him. well not on purpose at least.

this weekend saw Richmond visiting another stadium a six-hour drive away for their next match. usually, you travelled with Rebecca but due to some other things she had to get done this weekend, aka a spa trip with Keeley you were secretly so jealous about, she had decided to send you as a representative. however, this also meant you got to arrive at Richmond Friday afternoon with a packed bag and a bunch of rowdy footballers.

“Well look who our newest bus buddy is,” Ted said, putting his hands on his hips as you approached the gaggle of men. “Hope you don’t mind being down graded to ride with us bunch of savages,” he joked as he ticked your name off his clipboard. you really did appreciate Teds soccer mom vibes.

You laughed as you dragged your suitcase up to stand by Ted at the bus, “Please how bad can it be? it’s just a bus,”

“Yeah, but with these twats,” Roy’s voice made Ted jump, but you just turned and smiled, ready to say hi, but Roy just walked past you. He picked up his suitcase, tossing it under the bus before turning back and picking yours up and placing yours in with far more care than he had with his own. When you said thanks, Roy just nodded before heading onto the bus, assumably to secure the most isolated spot he could.

Ted let out a low whistle as Roy walked off, “He’s a charmer alright,” he said, his eyes scurrying around before leaning down to whisper to you, “If I didn’t know any better I’d think he’s sweet on you,” You laughed but before you could even try to deny it Ted was pointing at your face, “and if I’m not blind you my friend are blushing,”

“Shut up Ted,” was all you managed to say before Nate walked over and thankfully Ted knew better than to keep going in front of him.

while you were talking to Nate and Ted the bus all the players had arrived and assembled on the bus. you were the last to climb on the bus since even though you knew it couldn’t be that bad six hours on a bus was still a dire experience. “Oi need a seat love?” Jamie hollered from the back of the bus, already tossing his bag to his feet.

“There’s a seat by me,” Dani pipped up from a few rows in front of Jamie.

you laughed, trying to think who would be the least awkward seat mate. however, as you went to move forward, figuring Dani would be less out right flirty than Jamie you were stopped by Roy standing up from his seat and stepping into the aisle.

when you looked up at him, expecting him to say something, he just looked down at the window seat he had just given up. you smiled as you moved to sit down, “Thanks,” you said squeezing past him, “Thanks boys but I prefer the front of the bus,” you said before settling down for the ride.

Roy dropped into the aisle seat and while you knew he was trying to keep in his seat the bus seats were only so big, so your thighs were bumping into each other, “Thanks for saving me,” you whispered to him.

Roy chuckled under his breath, “Really think I’d let you get tortured back there like that?” he whispered back making his voice sound even sexier if possible. the bus set off only a few minutes later and now you were trapped in a bus with 25 rowdy men who instantly started talking amongst themselves and playing bus games. “Bet you wish you’d never got on this bus,” Roy said in a low voice but with all the noise at least you didn’t have to whisper.

“Nah I don’t mind, honest,” you said, settling into your seat, “Sitting in a silent plane with Rebecca can get awkward,”

“Sorry I’ve not got any champagne for ya,” Roy joked and for the rest of the ride you actually talked the whole way which is the longest you’ve ever spoke to him for. you were almost sad when the bus pulled up outside the hotel.

without a word Roy had grabbed your suitcase and his, walking into the hotel still wrapped up in a debate about which ice cream flavour was superior. “Checking in together?” The receptionist asked making you blush, and Roy clear his throat.

“Eh no, separate,” he said, glancing down at you but you wish he hadn’t since you knew your cheeks were flaming hot as you gave the woman your information. however, after getting checked in Roy still carried your cases, taking them up to your room with you in silence. He sat the bag down in front of your room for you as you unlocked the door, “I’m just down the hall. 203. so eh if anyone gives you bother or these twats are too loud tonight give me a knock,”

“Will do captain,” you said, trying your best to stay composed as you got into your room, shutting the door behind you so you could freak out.

the next day was too hectic to even think about flirting with Roy or even catching a glimpse of him off the field. however, Richmond had managed to secure a tie which for them right now was a big win. however, what was not a big win was the fact that you had to get back in the coach that day since the team had a bunch of press to do tomorrow at Richmond.

between the game, the press interviews, everyone showering and getting into clean clothes, and checking out you weren’t even set to leave till 10pm despite the game kicking off at 1:30pm. you were already yawning as you came down the lift to the reception.

most of the boys were also absolutely shattered. running for 90 minutes straight at full speed was tiring enough without also having to pack and do press. you had got to sit during the game, but you also had the job of Rebecca all day so now you really understood why she needed that spa weekend. “Bus said it’ll be pulling up in five minutes,” you yawned as you sat your bag down, “Head count time,” you said.

you felt like a primary teacher, but you didn’t care as you walked around, counting each player as you put your hand on their head. they were all too tired to complain and even Issac let you touch his hair. “twenty three,” you said, counting Dani before stopping, “Wow your hair is soft,” you gasped before continuing as Dani beamed from his seat, “Twenty four,” you said, reaching up to pat Roy’s head but you were too tired to see the way he smiled at you when you did, “Twenty five,” you finished, putting your hand on your own head making Roy chuckle quietly. “We didn’t lose anyone, great job team. now shift it, I wanna sleep,”

“You heard her twats, get moving,” Roy said, his loud voice shocking everyone including the hotel staff. at least it got the boys moving though. Roy cleared his throat as he glanced down at you, “Need a seat buddy again?” he asked as you filed out behind all the boys.

you smiled up at him, “Yeah that’d be nice. Its your turn for the window seat,”

“I don’t mind, you keep it,” he said as you finally got to the bus. the boys were all tossing their cases in and filing into the bus with very few mumblings between them. you were silently thankful everyone was exhausted, “Just don’t fall asleep standing,” Roy’s joke snapped you back to reality as he loaded in your cases.

“Fine but I make no promises about the bus,” you said as you walked to get on, Roy offering for you to go first. a sweet gesture to you and silently Roy was grateful for the chance to check out your ass. “This seat, okay?” you said, plopping down into the first available seat. Roy didn’t even reply as he sat down next to you.

Ted was the last to get on and while you usually loved his speeches today you just did not care. “Now all yall try get some shut eye. Six hours of sleep would do you all the world of good right now,”

“Yes coach,” rang out in a sleepy chorus as everyone settled in to nap on the bus for the night.

as you looked around you saw Jamie in the seat across from you with a blanket already pulled over him and Dani a seat behind you with an eye mask on, “I am clearly not prepared,” you joked quietly to Roy.

Roy looked over, seeing his fellow teammates who were used to these late-night busses, “You can borrow my jacket if you get cold,” Roy said quietly making you inwardly melt, “Not much of a blanket but it’s warm,”

“I’ll think about it,” you yawned, making Roy smile as he saw how you stretched away your sleep. or well tried to. the ride set off and you could already hear soft snores across the bus. any of the boys who couldn’t sleep had headphones in and you had never been more grateful.

you sat in silence, looking out the window as the head lights of other cars went past and let yourself sink further into your seat. you barely noticed when Roy shrugged his jacket off or realise how close to him you were getting but you could feel your eyelids growing heavier with each passing moment.

Roy however had noticed the soft snores coming from you when your eyes had finally closed, unable to fight sleep off anymore. he was thankful everyone was asleep or not paying attention as he got to look down at you sleeping on his shoulder with a soft smile. after a few minutes, sure you were asleep, he gently pulled his jacket over you like a blanket.

he wasn’t sure when he had fell for you or why, but he’d known for weeks now that he liked you. hell, more than liked. there was just something about you and right now you looked downright adorable as you nuzzled further into him. Roy slipped his arm behind your back, allowing you to properly sleep on him and his hand to rest on your waist.

usually, Roy was far too tense or pent up in rides home to sleep on the bus, especially with a team he just knew were desperate to draw something on his face, but Roy was surprised when he opened his eyes and sunlight blinded him.

the bus was pulling up to Richmond at an ungodly 4 am when Roy realised, he had fallen asleep, his head resting on top of yours. without thinking, still in a sleepy state, Roy pressed a kiss to the top of your head as he moved to sit up. however, when he saw you stir awake, he kicked himself internally, “Are we here?” you yawned, pulling away from him and Roy already missed the feeling of you curled up to him.

“Looks like it,” Roy said as you looked down to realise it had been Roy’s jacket covering you, “You uh looked cold,” Roy said, clearing his throat and thankful he had a beard to cover the way his cheeks grew hot.

“Thanks,” you said, a sleepy smile playing your lips as the rest of the team started to wake. “Did you manage to sleep?”

“A bit yeah,” Roy said, and it was as you shuffle forward Roy realised his mistake when you looked down at his arm, “Sorry bout that,” he mumbled, quickly pulling his arm out from where it had been wrapped around your waist.

“It’s alright I don’t mind,” you said, a smile toying your lips as you stretched to try wake up.

without anything else said, really by anyone, you all filtered off the bus and Roy went to get both your suitcases. Roy cleared his throat as he went to pass yours to you, a nervous habit you’d only just really noticed, “Do you need a lift up the road? my cars just over there,”

“If you don’t mind that’d be great,” you said, so relieved you weren’t going to have to sleep in Rebeccas office, “Don’t hate me if I fall asleep in the car though,”

“Couldn’t hate you if I tried,” Roy said as he took the suitcase back and began to walk to his car. you blushed as you followed behind him, climbing into the passenger side as Roy loaded the bags in, “You all set?” Roy asked as he hopped into the driver’s seat.

when Roy glanced over, he couldn’t help but laugh when he noticed you were already asleep in the car. Roy reached over, buckling you in before getting ready to hit the road. he’d dropped you off a few times from work so he knew the way already, but Roy couldn’t stop himself stealing so many glances at the sight of you. there was no avoiding his feelings now.  Roy Kent was in love.

[its-time-to-write]

Hi y’all! This is my last unprompted angsty fic for a little! Gonna go back to our usually scheduled hijinks that are sitting in my request pile, I wanted to do this one first. I write all these as a way to deal with things that happen in my own life, whether it’s stressing about school and work, stupid romance, great romance, family, health, whatever, and I wanted to say (yet again) thank you for all the support. Sometimes I still can’t believe that you all like what I write but hey, there ya go

It’s funny, because my most popular fics are the ones that have been written directly out of my actual life. The ones that start out hard-to-deal-with, or with real, palpable heartbreak. The endings are often different because real life isn’t guaranteed a happy ending, but I’m allowed to take the past and see what it would be like if things went differently.

My characterization of Jamie is based on the only person I’ve ever really loved, which is why I can write his voice so clearly. I first watched Ted Lasso and was surprised at how similar they were, stupid hair and all. A lot of these fics are my way of archiving our story and immortalizing parts of it, as well as reminding myself that the love was there. It didn’t last and it wasn’t supposed to, but it was there.

Now, what’s real and what’s fiction? I’ll leave that up to you to decide, but I will say that it’s more than you might think and less than you might hope for.

So if you read this current fic and think, “huh, that was a really specific premise,” well I got news for you! It is. I’m in the first part of my journey on this, the early stages, and this story is not the way I want things to go for me. But I’m hoping that by creating a good ending out of a rough beginning, I can better face whatever lies ahead for me whether I approach it on my own two feet or with the assistance of some really sick wheels.

Anyway, enjoy this or skip it, it won’t hurt my feelings!

how to love being alive

Jamie’s at training when he gets the call. He barely registers the words on the other side when he’s cursing something awful, enough to make Roy Kent blush, and saying something about an emergency before speeding out the door. He pauses for a moment to look up an address in his phone, then he’s tearing out of the parking lot in a manner that puts Colin to shame. 

To summarize, he’s not acting like himself. 

He pulls up to a chiropractor of all places and the girl at the front desk must be able to tell who he’s here for because she just points to a door down the hall. Jamie’s pretty sure he’s never moved this quick in his life and wonders if this could translate to the pitch. Sure he’s fast, but he could always be faster. 

He bursts through the door to see you borderline catatonic, staring at the floor while a doctor pats your arm. She looks at Jamie and says, “Let’s chat for a minute outside,” before he has a chance to say a single thing. Jamie can’t tear his eyes away from you as the doctor leads him out and shuts the door. 

“Thought emergency contacts were for like, hospitals and shit,” he says. 

The chiropractor shakes her head. Jamie notes that her name tag says “Dr. Hadley,” and has a vague memory of you mentioning her a few months ago. 

God, it feels like a lifetime ago. 

“We’re not confident she’s in a fit state to get herself home,” Dr. Hadley says. “Her headspace is a little messed up, which is to be expected. Usually people come to these types of appointments with some moral support.”

Jamie asks, “What kinds of appointments?” and Dr. Hadley tilts her head at him. 

“You are Mr. Tartt, aren’t you?” she asks and Jamie just scoffs because he can’t decide between responding obviously, or telling her no, he’s not Mr. Tartt, that’s his father. He’s just Jamie. 

Dr. Hadley knows who he is because she doesn’t live in a hole in the ground, so she doesn’t ask for identification. She takes his scoff as permission to keep talking, so she says, “She’s here for her MRI results. We’ve been in the process of treating a protrusion on her spine.”

Jamie is positive everyone in this office must think he’s on drugs because Dr. Hadley is talking like he’s supposed to know this, but for the life of him he knows you’d never said a thing. 

“Your girlfriend has been in a severe amount of pain over the last few months, and we’ve finally been able to see the extent of the problem. Apparently she thought it would just go away, but it never did. So now she’s here with us.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Jamie says automatically. Because it’s true, innit? You’re not. You’ve been broken up for a month because he couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t take the irritation at attending his matches and the tossing and turning in bed at night and the fact that you were wound so tight that you’d snap at the most minor offenses. 

You hadn’t been surprised when Jamie said he couldn’t do it anymore, it’s over, and at the time he had wished that you’d shown just a tiny sliver of emotion. After all, a year and two months is a long time to be with someone for you to coldly slide him his key and then turn away as though he were a stranger. 

He could have sworn there was a glimmer of tears in your eyes, but they’d looked that way for a bit now so maybe it was just allergies. There’s no reason for you to have been in the verge of tears for the entire month before the breakup, right?

Right. 

But he can’t think about that now because Dr. Hadley is frowning at him in a way that so comically reminds him of Roy’s sister that he has to bite back a laugh. 

Everything’s all twisted. 

“I certainly hope your split was amicable,” Dr. Hadley says. “You’re the only one listed as her emergency contact. She needs someone to get her home safely.”

“Right,” says Jamie. “Yes. Fuck. Right. Um, what exactly is wrong with her?” 

Dr. Hadley shakes her head. “That’s her personal information to share with you at her prerogative. And we should probably go see her, I’m sure she doesn’t want to be alone for long.”

Jamie snorts at that. This doctor doesn’t know you at all. If you’ve received any type of bad news the last thing you want is people hanging around. 

Jamie used to pride himself on being the only one you’d let into the bad-new bubble. 

You don’t count with those other people, you’d said once while wrapped around Jamie so tight he thought he’d have to call Ted to bring a crowbar. You said, I don’t have to pretend around you. I don’t ever get tired of you.

Jamie bitterly thinks that that statement turned out to be a lie, but he shakes it off because you’ve only been separated a month, and apparently he’s still your emergency contact for a doctor he didn’t know you had been seeing and fuck if you didn’t look like the most pitiful thing he’d ever seen. He’ll pretend it’s ok for as long as it takes to get you home and comfortable, and then he’s calling this office to get his number switched off. 

So he follows Dr. Hadley back into the room as she softly says your name in order to break whatever trance has you studying the carpet like your final exam is in ten minutes. 

You can barely look at her as she whispers something about going home and being gentle, to which you nod and finally look at Jamie. 

He wonders if you recognize him, because the stare you have is so vacant that you might as well be looking at a stranger. 

“Is she on drugs?” he asks because it looks like you’re on drugs. 

Dr. Hadley shakes her head and holds out her arm to help you up. “No, she’s just in a lot of pain. And emotional distress. It’s a killer combo, and she’ll need extra gentle handling for a while. No sitting for too long, no bending, no lifting. There’s a back support at the front desk for you to take.”

Jamie thinks he hears something pointed in the way Dr. Hadley says, extra gentle. What, like he doesn’t know how bad an injury can take you out? He’s in the Premier League for fuck’s sake. He knows how to deal with a strained muscle. 

Dr. Hadley transfers your arm over to Jamie’s so smoothly that he barely understands what’s happening as she ushers you both out the door, thrusting a small foam roll into Jamie’s free hand. 

“For lumbar support,” she says. “Won’t help much, but it’s better than nothing.”

Jamie’s pretty sure he’s said thanks as you climb in the car and then he’s in the drivers seat and it’s dead quiet. 

“Right,” he says to the silence. “What the fuck.”

You’re picking at your nails something fierce. Jamie has to fight the urge to take your hand in his. A month of separation is not long enough for this shit. 

“Can you just drive?” you ask in a broken voice. “I don’t want to be sitting for longer than I have to.”

There’s a new pitch in your voice, one Jamie’s never heard before, so he doesn’t argue. He doesn’t turn on the radio or a playlist or a podcast or anything, just drives in silence. He knows if it’s quiet long enough, you’ll talk. 

He’s the opposite. He doesn’t need time to crack wide open, just a kind touch or a soft glance and he’s an open book. He was always shocked how early into your relationship you’d figured that out. A soft, “What’s on your mind, Jaim?” and he was unloading about whatever stress or fear he had. 

He’s two minutes away from your flat when you break the silence. “I have gradual onset paralysis,” you say in a voice devoid of emotion. “‘Gradual onset’ means it happens over time. Paralysis means, well…paralysis.”

Jamie can hear what you’re saying and he understands it, but what catches him is the way you’re like nothing more than a hollow body. Not cracking a joke, not picking a fight. Just- empty. 

Jamie says a long and drawn out “Fuuuckk,” because what else can you say? It’s not really his business to comfort you or to pry, except he’s the one the doctor called, so he allows himself one question. 

“How did it happen?”

Last he knew, you were healthy as a horse. 

“Two disks in my spine popped,” you reply, still in that same awful emotionless voice. “They’re not really sure how, could’ve been any number of things. Anyway, it got into my nerves. And my spinal cord. And it’s messing things up and it’s only going to get worse. The scans were to see if they could operate, because sometimes you can remove the shards. Or whatever it is. But I guess they can’t, because if they tried I’d definitely be paralyzed. So all I can do now is be in pain and wait for my legs to shut down.”

Jamie doesn’t know how to respond to any of that but he’s saved from thinking of an adequate response because he’s at your flat. 

It was smart of you not to sell it when you’d moved in with Jamie. He wonders if you knew the breakup was inevitable. 

He hops out and opens the door like a gentleman, offering his hand like he’s some Mr. Darcy-type shit, except you had both agreed that Roy was Mr. Darcy and he was Bingley. So it doesn’t fit at all except as soon as you’re done clutching his hand so you can get out without unnecessary pain, his hand flexes itself like he’s in that damn movie. 

It wasn’t even a conscious choice, just a thing his hand decided to do, and he definitely thinks he’s going to have to talk to Ted about this. Or maybe Sam. Sam knows shit and is good at empathy. Maybe he’ll know what to say when your ex-girlfriend tells you she’s not going to walk ever again. 

Jamie follows you to the door as you fiddle with the lock and push it open with a sigh. For a moment he doesn’t know if he should go inside, but it smells like honey and cinnamon because it’s the beginning of fall and he thinks that he should at least make sure you’ll be alright. 

He notices you’re moving weird. All stiff, like. You’re trying to get an icepack out of the freezer but you can’t maneuver in a way that’s comfortable so Jamie grabs it and hands it to you. 

You mumble, “Thanks,” and Jamie catches a glimpse of the perpetual glimmer in your eye. 

“D’you need me to call someone?” he asks. “I can get Keeley down here. Or fucking… Ted. Or Colin.” He doesn’t say Sam, because he needs Sam. He can’t talk to Sam if he’s here with you. 

You shake your head. Jamie wonders if it hurts to talk, but he remembers how much you hate the sound of your voice when you’re crying. 

You take a slow, shallow breath to collect yourself. “I’m ok,” you finally say. “Not much anyone can do, and you’ve got training. I- I didn’t know they’d call you. I still have to switch your number with someone else. I’m probably going to ask Keeley since my family’s still far away.”

“Right,” Jamie says. Not much else to say. Except- 

“You were seeing that bone doctor when we were together, and you didn’t fucking say anything?”

It’s accusatory and he knows it, but he can’t for the life of him say it kinder. Ted’s always on about communication and shit, and that is not communication. 

You shuffle over to the couch and use it to help you lay face down in the floor. The icepack is precariously balanced on the small of your back. 

“Didn’t know how to tell you,” comes your muffled voice. “Least, I figured out how to tell you too late. What was I gonna say, ‘Sorry I’ve been a complete bitch to you for four weeks, I’ve got shit floating around in my spine that makes me hurt so bad I want to die?’ Sounds fucking stupid.”

Jamie wants to say, Swear jar because it’s a long-standing joke, but he catches the words right before they reach the tip of his tongue. 

“You could’ve said something,” he replies instead. “Chronic pain’s shit. It’s really shit and it makes you act like shit to the people you care about. It’s not an excuse, but it’s a reason.” As the words are coming out of his mouth, Jamie is reminded of a time when the roles were reversed, and you were giving him the “excuse versus reason,” speech. 

You’d said, You’re dad’s an abusive prick, Jamie. Makes sense that you’d have a lot of negative emotions. 

Fuck, if only you’d said something sooner. Maybe this would be something that you’d be cracking jokes about, or Jamie would be holding your hand, or he’d be laying right next to you as he runs his fingers through your hair. 

But your muscles spasm so that thought gets banished as you bite on your forearm in an effort not to yell. 

“Fucking hell,” Jamie says. “I don’t think you’re sorted on your own. I’m calling Ted.”

He walks to the other room so he can pretend he can’t hear your protests. 

—

Ted leaves training to Roy, Beard, and Nate. What’s the point in having four coaches if one of ‘em can’t leave for family emergencies?

Sure, you’re not actually family, but that’s Ted for you. He doesn’t do casual friendships. 

Jamie is out the door like a shot as soon as Ted knocks with a “Sorry, coach,” that Ted barely has a chance to wave off. 

Ted doesn’t say much once he’s inside, just rambles on about training and Kansas and Henry. He’s clattering around in your kitchen and you can’t find it in yourself to care what he’s doing so you just keep laying on the floor, willing your back to stop hurting. 

Finally, he comes over and sets down a smoothie in a short glass with a straw. 

“It’s so you can drink it without moving,” he explains. 

“I don’t think I can do this,” you say more to the couch legs than to Ted.

He sighs from where he’s crouched down next to you. “You don’t really have a choice, darlin’. You have to do this. The question is, are you gonna go through it alone?”

You shrug as best as you’re able. 

“Wrong answer,” says Ted, standing up. “You’ve got a whole crew of people here who are gonna root for you and support you with whatever you need. All you got to do is ask, sweetheart.”

Ah, fuck, you’re crying again and Ted can definitely tell because your shoulders are shaking. He’s pretty sure you’d want to save face so he stands up and says, “Beard’s coming over after training. Says he wants to figure out how to modify your house for a wheelchair or something. Thought I’d make us all dinner so we’re not so hangry when he mentions taking an ax to anything.”

The mental image of Coach Beard chopping down your stairs is enough to make you smile a little through your tears.

—

Waiting is really shitty. Like, really shitty. Every day is the same thing: tingly legs, shooting pains, phantom cramps. The worst was when Dani and Richard were over and you stood up to get something from the fridge, and your legs decided at that moment to lose feeling. You panicked with your arms held out for balance as you swayed back and forth for a moment, willing your feet to fucking move. They did, but not before Dani and Richard were on you in a flash, ready to catch you if you fell.

“Well that was weird,” you joke in an effort to cut the tension. They laugh, but you still catch their worried glance.

“You do not have to put on a brave face for us,” Dani says. “If you want to joke, we will joke. But if you want to cry, we will cry too.”

“You can cry,” Richard says, “I will just pour more wine.”

You laugh. There’s been a steady stream of Greyhounds at your flat for the last week and a half. Everyone and their mother (quite literally) has come by to see you. Your own parents were coming in a week to stay indefinitely while you sorted things out.

You wonder if it’s easier to lose control of your legs slowly or all at once? On the one hand, you at least have notice. But on the other hand, the long, drawn-out waiting feels like slow torture. Every day you wake up from restless sleep and experimentally wiggle your toes. Every day, you check off one more box on your mental calendar as you count down to a date that doesn’t even properly exist.

The only person who hasn’t visited is Jamie. You don’t blame him, though. Keeley’s come round almost every single day and has been successfully switched to your emergency contact. She’s the one you’re calling as soon as you discover you can’t move.

You’re pretty sure it’s getting closer. Your legs fall asleep more frequently and things are all numb. It’s like you know you’re in pain, but it’s not quite registering with your nerves.

It fucking sucks.

—

You don’t believe in intuition like spirits and all that, but you believe in it in that your brain can pick up things that you couldn’t if you were actually trying.

That’s why you’re pretty sure this is it.

Walking is pretty much a no-go right now, so you stiff-leg yourself to the couch and sprawl out as comfortably as you can.

You call Keeley, and she’s over in no time.

“Hi babes,” she says as soon as she’s through the door, “Can I call Rebecca for girls’s night?”

“Sure,” you say, “Might as well live it up.”

Keeley replies, “Great! She’ll be here in ten minutes,” and you laugh, really actually laugh, because of course Keeley’s already called her.

Rebecca swoops in all smiles and no sympathy which is great because if one more person pushes their lower lip out at you, you’re going to scream. She’s brought drinks and Keeley’s pulling out snacks and you’re going to talk and giggle until you fall asleep, ready for what the morning has.

“Is Shandy making a move on that one player?” Rebecca asks Keeley from the couch. 

“Nah,” Keeley calls back, “He said he wasn’t interested right now. Still hung up, I think.”

“What player?”  you ask. You know what Shandy’s like, and you feel for the poor guy.

Rebecca and Keeley are silent before Keeley says, “You wouldn’t know him.”

“Bullshit,” you reply. “I know everyone on that team and I know you haven’t signed anyone new recently. Is it Colin?” 

Rebecca shakes her head and gives Keeley a look. Keeley shrugs. “You’re the one who brought it up, babes.”

Rebecca turns to you. “It’s Jamie,” she says. “She’s been trying to bag him ever since Zava showed up.”

You shake your head. “She’s not right for him. He deserves someone better than that.”

Keeley’s back from the kitchen and scrutinizing your expression. “And what exactly do you mean by better?” she asks.

You laugh. “Oh no, not me. I wasn’t talking about me. No, I’m not- he needs someone different. Like, I don’t know, Roy’s sister, maybe? She’s great and a doctor to boot. Very caring too.”

“You’re caring,” Keeley says slowly, “And anyway, Molly doesn’t like him like that. They’re just friends.”

“Hang on, are you putting yourself in the same bracket as Shandy?” Rebecca interjects.

You shrug. “I was a complete bitch the last month we were together. There’s no excuse for it. I’m just surprised he lasted as long as he did.”

“You were in fucking pain!” Keeley exclaims. “You said you weren’t sleeping and everything fucking hurt and you couldn’t even think straight.”

You grab a handful of candy from a bowl. “Keels, I appreciate the sentiment, but I majorly fucked it. Like, there’s no going back. So he can date whoever he wants as long as it’s not fucking Shandy. Can we please, please move on?”

Rebecca’s eyes are narrowed but they both acquiesce. “Keeley, what about your love life? I’m sure it’s boring as usual.”

Keeley shrieks and smacks her with a pillow. “Fuck off,” she replies. “I’ll have you know it’s going very well…”

—

You were right. You wake up still on the couch tangled in Keeley’s arms, and the standard toe-wiggle just… doesn’t happen. It’s quiet, the early morning type, the kind where the sunlight isn’t so harsh and birds are chirping softly and all of Richmond hasn’t quite got up to begin their day. 

As you look at your unmoving toes, the first thing you feel is a rush of relief. The waiting’s over, you think. 

You look over to the wheelchair that’s been leaning patiently against the wall all this time. Here’s the first day of forever. You’re in no rush for it to start, so you let Keeley’s little snores and Rebecca’s heavy breathing lull you back to sleep. 

—

It’s definitely a learning curve. And it’s frustrating. And if one more person catches you crying out of sheer rage, you’re going to start throwing things. But like Ted said, you don’t really have a choice. 

Your mom said, “The only way out is through,” then grinned at the murderous glare you shot her way. She opened her phone and pulled up a picture of you, age three. “Same lovely expression as always,” she remarks cheerfully. That cracks your frown. You always were a funny kid. 

It takes a while to figure out how to get places. Keeley (the absolute angel) volunteered, but she’s busy with the PR firm and quite frankly, a little too delicate to help you into a car. You made the mistake of saying this exactly one time and because subject to a rant about how she’s “not weak, just PETITE FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!”

Roy had punctuated her argument with a couple “That’s fucking right, babe"s all while rolling his eyes behind her back. It made you giggle. 

The general consensus was that at any given reasonable hour (or unreasonable if you’re Richard or Bumbercatch) a Greyhound or coach would be able to get you where you’re needed. And today, that place is Nelson Road. 

“How often does Jamie come visit?” Jan Maas asks, straightforward as ever. 

“Um, never,” you reply. “We broke up, remember?”

“Right,” agrees Jan Maas. “We all know that, I just assumed you had gotten back together.”

You laugh. How absurd. “And why on earth would you assume that?”

“Because he talks about you all the time,” comes his prompt reply. 

Huh. That’s interesting. You haven’t received so much as a single emoji from Jamie, but hadn’t thought a thing of it. But this, this is strange. This does not fit into your idea of how broken up people act. 

“Weird,” you say. “Wonder what the fuck that’s about.”

Jan Maas shrugs and moves to lift you from the car. 

—

It’s weird to be at Nelson Road, number one because it’s been FOREVER, number two because you’re eye-level with all sorts of things you’d never noticed before (ahem, part of the wall Roy kicked that no one cared to patch up), and number three because the last time you were here, it was as Jamie Tartt’s girlfriend. 

Jan holds open the door as you roll in, ready to face whatever lies in wait. 

It turns out whatever is a very excited Ted and Beard as well as a neutral Roy who present you a coaching jacket and a whistle. 

“You’re coaching with us today because that little rat bastard Nate went to the dark side,” Beard says. 

You remark, “Tell us how you really feel,” earning a snort from Roy and a chuckle from Trent Crimm. 

“Oh yeah,” Ted says, “this is Trent. He’s writing a book.”

“Cool,” you say, “but you do know I know jack shit about coaching?”

Beard shrugs. “Neither do we. Worked out pretty well so far.” That earns another snort from Roy. 

“Right,” you say. “Well, I guess I’m up for anything.”

“You mean ‘down,’” says Ted. “Oh I’m sorry, is it too soon?”

“Never,” you reply. “It’s never too soon to make trauma-related puns and this world, it’s either laugh or cry. So fuck it, I’m going to laugh.”

“Fuck yes,” grunts Roy before turning on his heel to yell at the team to GET THE FUCK ON THE PITCH YOU LITTLE PRICKS!

—

You don’t do much except sit there and watch as the coaches yell and point and run drills. It’s a chore to remind yourself not to check out Jamie’s butt as he runs by so you start thinking not yours, not yours, like a mental mantra. 

He’s not looking at you so you won’t look at him and you’re sure it won’t be a problem because there are so many people to look at and talk to, except lunch rolls around (haha) and you sit at the head of a table and Jamie’s on the bench right next to you. So. There goes the no eye-contact plan. 

You take exactly two bites of your sandwich before thinking fuck this and pushing yourself back so you can roll away. You can just take the elevator to see Becca. 

You’ve made it a good way down the hall when you hear Jamie calling your name while saying, “Wait,” so you move a little faster. 

But it’s still new and you’re painfully reminded that arms are not legs so he catches you with ease. 

 “The fuck are you running away for?” he asks, and you want to point out that technically, you weren’t running. Metaphorically though, he’d be right. 

“I’m not running,” you reply. “I was just going to see Rebecca.”

“Bullshit,” he says. “I know you, and that was running. Is it because of me?”

“No,” you say, and you realize how much you’ve been looking up today. Your fucking neck needs a break so you rub it and look straight ahead, past Jamie at a life-size decal of O’Brien on the opposite wall. 

“Why would I be running away from you? You’re not- I’m the shitty ex in this situation. I���m the one who fucked things up, Jamie, so… you don’t have to like, pretend that it’s your problem. I actually think it would be better if you were just mad and avoided me instead of whatever the hell is currently happening.”

Jamie rubs his jaw. He should be exasperated, he should, but instead the gears in his mind are turning. A few words stick out to him and then it’s like the final puzzle piece has clicked into place. 

“Hang on,” he says slowly. “Hold the fuck up. Did you mess things up on purpose?”

The moment the words are out of his mouth he wants to take them back and apologize, because there’s no way they’re actually true, except you have a look on your face that can only be described as guilty. 

“Fuuckkk,” Jamie breathes out and you hurriedly interject, “It wasn’t intentional! At least, not at first. It started because I was irritable because I hurt a lot, and then I convinced myself that I was faking it so I got mad at myself for being a little liar. And then I couldn’t sleep because I hurt so bad and everything was making me uncomfortable so I started snapping at you. I noticed it pretty quick so I figured I’d get the pain checked out and sorted because I didn’t think pulled muscles were supposed to last this long. And it turned out that it wasn’t a pulled muscle but some of my disks were all weird, and then one day in between physical therapy and the chiropractor, I fell on my back and jostled everything wrong and it fucking popped.”

Jamie thinks he knows exactly when that was. He remembers you saying something about falling while walking to your car after work and him asking if you needed ice. It was at the tail end of things, and he’d taken your stiffness figuratively as opposed to literally. Like, you were acting all cold because you hated him, not because you couldn’t move. 

“So,” you continue, “I just leaned into it. I mean, Dr. Hadley was only one of my doctors, but she’s the one who told me I- you know, could end up like this. She said if things popped and it got into my spinal cord or fluid or whatever and they couldn’t get it out, it was only a matter of time before it messed everything up. They only way to stop it at that point would be to not move so either way, I end up stuck.” 

You half-sob, half-laugh. “I didn’t know how to tell you and I could tell you were already annoyed with me so I just decided to let it happen. You’re better off without me, anyway. I hate asking for help and I hate when people give me empathetic looks or what-fucking-ever, and I was going to have to ask you for a lot of help. You don’t even fucking have time for that, Jamie.”

Jamie is at a loss for words, and you’ve run out of things to say. 

You stare at each other in the hallway by the elevator, breathing heavily. You’ve both triggered each other’s fight-or-flight response, and it seems you’re both down for a fight.

“Right,” Jamie says finally, “ok, yeah, ok. You didn’t tell me because you didn’t want me to have to deal with this?”

You nod. 

“Right,” he says again. “That’s fucked up.”

You don’t respond and he looks at you closely. “You know that’s fucked up, yeah?”

You shrug. 

“Jesus, babe.” Jamie runs his hands through his hair. He’s going to have to fix his headbands. “Alright,” he says yet again, “look. Dr. Sharon and me- we talk. And, you’re supposed to be able to talk to people about shit like this. Like, me playing football isn’t supposed to mean I don’t have time for the people I love. And if you’re feeling that way or if you’re hurting, you have to tell me so I don’t think you’re being all pissed off because you hate me. That’s the whole point of love, babe. You take care of each other’s shit.”

“Jamie, I can’t get places easily anymore. I can’t drive and I can’t go up steps. I will never be able to storm the pitch to kiss you or walk with you in Brazil. I get mad really easily because everything’s so fucking frustrating and I just want to punch something.” You shake your head. “You don’t deserve any of that. You need someone who can be there for you and isn’t a total pill to be around.”

“Are you fucking trying to push me away?” he asks.

“Yes!” you exclaim. “Obviously!”

“Well fucking don’t. You almost had me the first time, but good luck getting rid of me now.”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“For fuck’s sake, just kiss,” groans Will, walking by with an armful of laundry. 

“Fuck off, William!” you both say in unison and then Jamie’s on one knee, eye-level with you and brushing a thumb across your chin. 

“Fucking hell, love,” he breathes. “You have to remember that you can talk to me, yeah? Just promise you’ll remember.”

You nod, unable to speak. 

“Good,” he says. “We’re giving this another go. And if you can’t kiss me on the pitch, might as well do it here, yeah?”

[illiterateaffairs]

behind the scenes chapter three | friends with professional benefits

masterlist | prev | next

pairing: jamie tartt x actress!reader (ted lasso)

rating: T

word count: 3,410

summary: you and jamie get to know each other. let the games begin.

a/n: this is coming out later than i had planned but i hope it was worth the wait! going to be less busy this coming weekend so hope to share more soon and get a lot of chapters in the queue for you all <3

Five days. It had been five days since you and Jamie agreed on your plan to fake date in front of the entire world. And although you didn’t regret the idea - yet - you’d still had enough time to overthink and suddenly become very nervous about things going wrong. 

You hadn’t seen Jamie since your conversation in the café, but you had various text exchanges throughout the week. At some point Jamie had asked you what your contact name was for him.

what do you mean? it's your name. jamie.

just jamie?

what else would it be?

you’ve gotta add emojis luv if someone sees your phone it's gotta look like i’m ur boyfriend. mine says ur name with like 5 hearts

That’s when you realized you needed to be more thorough than you thought. 

Which is precisely why Jamie was coming over to your flat today. Sure you’d known you needed to get together sooner or later to talk through the plan as a whole, but today you were armed with a checklist of things to cover. 

You’d also talked things over with Margot earlier in the week. And Harry. But that conversation had been a lot more cut and dry. He was over the moon you were doing this, and sent you an email with own list of requirements. It basically started and ended with: be a couple in PUBLIC. 

With Margot, she’d repeatedly asked if you were sure about the whole thing. You’d told her over and over again that, yes, you had never been more sure of anything in your life. Though by the fourth reassurance, you weren’t sure how convincing you sounded. 

Either way, you were committed to this and dammit if you weren’t going to see this through. This was just another role you had to play. It’s what you did best.

From your spot on your coach, you nearly fall off of it when there’s a knock on your door. 

Jamie.

Its go time. 

You put your laptop down on the coffee table and jog over to the front door. Pulling it open, you’re actually surprised to see Jamie standing on your doorstep holding a bouquet of flowers. 

You squint, “Are those for me?”

Jamie scoffs, “No, they’re for your elderly neighbor I just passed. I’m hoping you can introduce me.” You roll your eyes but give him a smile, “Of course they’re for you. We have to make this look convincing right?”

“Jamie, there’s nobody else here.”

“Okay, but what about paparazzi? One could be lurking about and catching me visiting your flat would be the perfect kickstart to this whole thing.”

You chuckle, “I doubt there’s any photographers around here.” Still you look around behind him, and after seeing no one, you pull him into your apartment and shut the door.

“Still, you know Google Earth. Always taking pics,” Jamie jokes, laughing to himself as he steps further into your living room.

You stop in your place before you follow him, “Did you just quote Parks and Rec?”

Jamie spins around, “You understood that reference?” 

You laugh in disbelief, “Of course. It's one of my favorite shows.”

“Same,” he smiles, “Used to watch it with my Mum all the time in high school.”

“I love that,” you smile back, closing the gap between the two of you so you can take the flowers from his hands, “These are pretty by the way. Let me go put them in a vase but feel free to make yourself at home.”

You’re quick to fill up a vase in your kitchen, leaving the flowers on the counter, but are surprised to return to Jamie still standing in the middle of your living room, looking around.

“This place doesn’t seem very you,” he comments as you return, plopping down on the couch.

“How would you know? You just met me,” you ask teasingly.

“Well, that’s the point of today isn’t it,” Jamie teases back, joining you on the couch, “Still, it seems very posh and you seem a lot more chill.”

You nod, “Well, I’m just renting this place while I’m here so not much of it is mine. I’m thinking about decorating it a bit to make it more homey.”

“Well if you need any recommendations for places to look, I know some stores that have cool shit.”

“I may have to take you up on that.”

You lean forward and grab your laptop again. You glance over the excel sheet you had open and try to figure out where to start.

“What you lookin’ at over there?” Jamie asks curiously, trying to peak over.

“I want a way to keep track of all the things we need to figure out like our cover story and just things we need to know about each other,” You explain, turning your computer towards him.

His eyes widen at the very detailed and colored coded document you had laid out. “Wow, that’s…intense.”

You chuckle, “Yeah, I may be a creative but I am very Type A. I also don’t want to fuck this up so I think it would nice to have a place to keep track of everything. I can email this to you if you want? Or ooh! I can upload it to Google Drive so we can both edit it.”

Jamie shakes his head, but there’s a small smile on his face, “Sure. Where should we start, Boss?”

“Well, I feel like the most obvious thing we need to cover is how did we meet? How did we get together?”

Jamie’s thoughtful for a second before shrugging, “I feel like we could use how we actually met, you know? It’s realistic because it's actually real. And keeps it simple. We ran into each other and got coffee, or hot chocolate, as some may prefer.”

“Nice, you remember my preferred beverage,” you smile as you start typing in the doc, “Who asked who out? Did we do it that day?”

“You asked to exchange numbers, but I reached out a couple days later. Maybe we went on our first date last weekend?”

You nod thoughtfully, “That works.”

“It would’ve had to have been Friday, though,” he adds, “I had a match Saturday afternoon and told Keeley about seeing someone that night.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, “I filmed late on Friday night.”

Jamie shrugs, “I could’ve waited up for you. Got drinks at a bar?”

Your lips quirk up at the thoughtfulness - even though it was made up.

“Okay,” you continue filling out your spreadsheet, “I have a list of things that one might normally know about a significant other, but since our “relationship” is so new, I think we only need to cover what you would on a first date.”

Jamie’s eyebrows furrow, “Like…what?”

You glance up at him, “What? Jamie Tartt’s never been on a date before?”

He laughs awkwardly, “I’ve obviously been on dates. But we didn’t really do a lot of talking.”

You roll your eyes, “Oh lovely. Alrighty, then, let's just focus on what normal people do the first time they’re getting to know someone.”

“Fine,” Jamie sighs, “Hit me.”

“What’s your…favorite color?”

“Seriously?”

“What?” you laugh, “It's a completely normal question.”

“Yeah, for five year-olds,” he frowns, crossing his arms.

“Come on, you’re seriously going to sit here and tell me you don’t have a favorite color?”

“I dunno,” he shakes his head looking around, “Maybe, blue?”

“Blue? Come on, that’s such a boy answer,” you mock.

“Well, I am a boy if you haven’t noticed,” Jamie throws back defensively, “Its my favorite color your asking, is it not?”

You bite your lip to keep from laughing, amused by how seriously he’s taking this, “It is. Why blue then?”

He shrugs, “Dunno. It’s one of Richmond’s colors. Was a Man City color, which is the team I used to play for and my hometown team. I remember my mum wearing it a lot growing up.”

A genuine smile starts to form on your face as you listen to him ramble. It was the second time he’d brought up his mom. “Are you and your mom really close?”

He turns to you, a little taken back, “You ask about parents on a first date?”

You shrug one shoulder, “If it's going well.”

Jamie has to turn back away from you so he doesn’t do something stupid like blush. He decides to focus on answering your question. “We are. She’s sort of like...my rock, I guess? She’s actually the one who got me into football.”

You nod, listening intently, “And your dad?”

You notice Jamie tense slightly, but he turns back to you with a half smile, “Our relationship’s a bit complicated. Maybe that’s more of a story for a fifth date or something.”

You give him a kind smile, “That’s fair.” And then you turn back to your laptop screen.

“What about you?” Jamie asks after a beat.

You look up with raised eyebrows, “Me? My favorite color is yellow.”

Jamie chuckles, “Noted. But no, I meant, what's your relationship with your parents like?”

“Oh!” you chuckle lightly with him, “My mom is the best. Feels like she might get along with yours; she’s the reason I’m an actor.” Jamie’s smile grows, “She did literally everything in the world to support me even though she was a single mother. I never knew my dad though. He left my mom before I was born so he’s never been around.”

“Oh, that sucks, I’m sorry,” Jamie says softly.

“It’s fine. I don’t know him. And from the brief things my mom has said, its probably for the best. And honestly it's okay. Mom’s been more than enough on her own.”

Jamie nods, the smile back on his face. “Okay, anything else you got on that list besides colors and parents?”

“Oh, I have plenty,” you chuckle, “But feel free to ask me anything of your own?”

“Hmm,” Jamie thinks for a second, “What's your favorite flower?”

You look up, amused, “My favorite flower?”

“Yeah. You know that way I can be more specific next time I get you some,”

You once again have to bite back a smile, “Uh, I would say daisies are my favorite flower.” Jamie nods, committing the information to memory, “What about you?”

“Me?” you nod and Jamie doesn’t even hesitate, “I think lilies are nice.”

“Lillies are nice,” you agree, typing it into the doc.

That’s how you spend the next hour or so, asking one another trivia about each other and inputting it into the doc for ease of studying later. You learn about each others childhood pets and the careers you wanted when you were five. You learn each other's favorite foods, stores, bands, as well as the little things you hated. You learned more about his teammates, particularly those closest to him like Sam, Isaac, Colin and Dani. In turn you told him about how Margot was more like a sister to you even if she was technically your employee, as well as your childhood next door neighbor Katie who was still your best friend today.

You only realize you’d been talking for so long when your stomach lets out a growl, and Jamie doesn’t even pretend to courteously not hear it when he lets out a belly laugh. 

“Leave me alone, it actually is almost dinner time, dude,” you defend, even though you find yourself laughing along with him.

“Fair point,” he amends when he catches his breath, “Do you want to order in?”

You don’t even protest the idea of prolonging your time together, thoroughly enjoying getting to know him, “Sure. I can order a pizza.”

You start searching local pizza places into Google, when you remember another item of business you had on your list. 

“Ooh, that packet on the coffee table is for you.” you nod in the direction of said stack of papers.

Jamie sits up, intrigued by the mysterious document, and picks it up. He squints at the weird legalese, “Is this…a contract?” You nod, “What, you don’t trust me or something?”

“No, it's not that, it's just standard,” you shrug, “It's more or less just to appease my publicist and the like.” Jamie still looks unsure, so you sit up and start flipping pages of the document for him, “Looks, its no big deal. I already signed it myself. It just states we can’t tell anyone about this. Besides, the NDA expires in 5 years anyway. So by that time, I’ll have an Oscar and you’ll be a washed up football player, and no one will believe you if you said anything.”

Jamie huffs, “I want to be offended by that, but you called it football so I’ll accept it.”

You smirk, “See, I’m a fast learner.” Then you settle back into your spot on the couch and carry on ordering pizza. 

Jamie looks over the packet again, before siding it was no use tonight, “You mind if I look this over and get it back to you in a few days?”

You nod, “Of course.”

“And your publicist knows? I mean obviously. And assuming Margot knows? Have you told anyone else?” he asks.

“Nope, that’s all,” You answer, “I get it if you want someone to confide in, but I figure the tighter we keep the circle, the better, right?” Jamie nods, “I mean have you told your publicist or professional team?”

Jamie laughs humorlessly, “My publicist is my ex, Keeley.”

You once again look up at him with your mouth agape, “Nooo, how does that happen?”

Jamie shakes his head, “Not intentionally. She took over the club’s PR before I came back to the team and I guess I never thought to find someone else. We became friends, genuine friends, but then everything got tangled up again a few months ago. And yeah. Here we are.”

You look at him for a few seconds before you let out a deep breath, “Well, that all sounds fun. A real incestuous family you got going on over there at AFC Richmond huh?”

Jamie can’t help but laugh along with you, “Yeah, look what you’re marrying into.”

You chuckle, but weirdly you feel your stomach flip at his phrasing. You brush right past it in order to collect his pizza preferences. As you finalize submitting the order, Jamie starts over analyzing your apartment again. This time he’s a bit more nosy and pulls open some of the coffee table drawers. He gasps when he pulls open the second one.

“No way. Please tell me this is yours and it didn’t just come with the place.”

When you look up, he’s holding up a Mario Kart game cover. 

You scoff, “Of course that’s mine.” 

“I haven’t played this in ages,” Jamie says, studying the back cover. 

Another smile plays at your lips. You nod at the TV in front of you, “I can hook up my Switch if you want. It’s been a while since I’ve played with someone other than myself.”

Jamie looks up at you, an excited grin forming on his face. “You’re fucking on.”

And so you spend the next hour competing against Jamie in various Mario Kart races. You play as Toad, naturally. Jamie plays as Princess Peach which makes you laugh. In between rounds, you munch on pizza and breadsticks. You also manage to get to know each other more, and set up ground rules for your charade even as you trash talk one another.

“I feel like the most important is PDA,” you state, somehow managing to focus on not falling off rainbow road while also talking strategy.

“Well, we’ve obviously got to do some of it,” Jamie comments, cursing as he gets hit with a shell, “It would look weird if we didn’t sometimes.”

“Sure, but we’ve gotta have some boundaries. We can’t just be kissing each other willy-nilly.”

Jamie chuckles, “Well, yeah, consent is key.”

Your lips quirk, “I’m completely fine with small things like hugs and hand holding whenever it seems fit.”

“Okay, cool, yeah,” Jamie nods, “And if you’re fine with it, kisses on the cheek are pretty innocent.”

“Yeah,” you nod, swerving to avoid a banana, “But actual kissing…”

Neither of you know how to finish that sentence. However, your race comes to an end. This time you get away with first place, Jamie in second, which you’d be switching between throughout the evening. Without gameplay to distract you, you have to make a decision.

“Maybe we just take it as it comes?” you suggest slowly, “I mean, couples kiss right? So if it feels right in the moment, it's not a big deal for a peck here and there?”

“Yeah,” Jamie agrees, “And if there’s ever a time we need to make a show of it, we check in with each other. Either beforehand, or if its in the moment, we give each other a signal.”

“A signal?”

“Yeah, like we blink twice or something.”

You nod, “Blink twice. Okay. And if we’re ever uncomfortable with something, we just have to communicate with each other, right?”

“Right.” Jamie nods. After a beat, he extends his hand, “Looks like we’re doing this.”

You chuckle, but shake his hand none the less, “We’re doing this.”

You exchange smiles. Now that the sun has gone down, Jamie decides its probably time to head out for the night, feeling like you’d accomplished a lot over the course of the evening.

As you walk him to your door, you ask one last question, “There was actually one more thing I wanted to ask. If you’re free Thursday night, do you want to come to an event with me? Isabel Mercer’s new movie is premiering, and since she’s dating my costar the whole cast is going. Figure it might be a good place to make a public debut?”

Jamie smirks, “A movie premiere? You should have started with that.”

You snort, “Yeah, well, I had to make sure this mock-date went well first.”

“I’d say it went very well, wouldn’t you?” Jamie smiles, “I think we’ve got this shit in the bag.”

You laugh, “So I guess that means you’re in?”

Jamie does a half bow, “I would be honored.”  

“Good, because I hate going to these things. I need someone to suffer through it with me.”

Jamie fake-pouts, “Don’t try to make this sound less fun for me.”

You shake your head, and you make your voice really high as you reply, “Don’t worry, it’ll be great!”

Jamie tsks, “You’re gonna have to be better than that when we’re trying to convince the whole world we’re madly in love.”

“Yeah, yeah, get out of here,” You tease, opening your front door and gently shoving him towards it.

Jamie turns to you with a smile, “Good night, girlfriend.”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes and give him a smile of your own, “Good night, boyfriend.”

Before you can process what he’s doing, he’s leaning in to press a quick kiss to your cheek. Before he completely pulls away, he whispers in your ear, “Google Earth.” He gives you once last smirk before jogging down the steps. 

You shake your head as you lock up. This was certainly going to be an experience these next three months. 

You flop back down on your couch to review your notes from the evening. After reading through for a few minutes, you remember you hadn’t checked your phone the entire time he was there. Aside from a couple emails and a text from your mom, you didn’t have much since it was a Saturday. However, you also have 2 texts from Margot. The first you had missed from earlier this afternoon, which was a link to tweet from an updates account about you. The tweet contained pictures of Jamie arriving at your flat earlier that day. The second had been sent minutes ago, including a tweet from the same account, this time with pictures of Jamie leaving literally ten minutes ago.

The devil works hard, but paparazzi and stans work harder.

You also realize that Jamie had been right. That smug bastard.

You couldn’t be too annoyed though. The comments under the tweets, even the most recent, were filled with people surprised yet supportive of your coupling. A few even conceding that you did look cute in a relationship. You smile to yourself as you scroll through.

Shit. This was going to work. 

a/n: can’t wait to hear what you guys think!!! :))))))

taglist: @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog​ @royalestrellas​ @loveslide​ @torpedo-belly​ @skewedcherries​ @littlemisssunshine192​ @hopefulromances​ @breakmyheartlater​ @ohpuckyeah​ @alipap3​ @meg-ro​ @rexorangecouny​ @pythagothug​ @bonesbonesetc​ @xxenia14​ @rockchickrebel​ @thatonedogwithablog​ @percysaidnever​ @msjb2002​ @loveforaugust​ @dicgohargreeves​ @whimsical-roasting​ @gcidrvsh @lightninginab0ttle it wouldn’t let me tag the last couple of you, but i will keep trying <3

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Oh, look, more Ted Lasso 3.1 thoughts

So many. Let's go to the bullet points:

Rebecca thinking she's fine about the whole Rupert and Nate thing and clearly NOT being okay with it to the point of wanting Ted to be an asshole in response to Nate, but then, when Ted is Ted, Rebecca's realization comes from Keeley PRAISING her for a decision she didn't even make. But Rebecca realizing through Keeley's genuine praise (because Keeley wasn't there) that the best decision is to let Ted be Ted was just a really great, layered Rebecca moment.

Keeley's office doesn't look like Keeley. The neon sign does. Her wardrobe does. Those people in that office? The couch furniture in her own office? None of that is Keeley. That is Keeley thinking this is what it looks like to go into corporate PR with investor money. I look forward to watching furry pillows and glittery accessories take over the office as Keeley finds her confidence in a different phase of her career.

We all fucking know Roy is the one who decided they needed a break, and Roy, you fucking walnut. I get it. I look forward to the story of it. But the story is Keeley saying, "If I put this off again," and trying to comfort Roy, and Phoebe, smart nugget that she is, knowing stupid when she sees it. Keeley has agreed to this break up because Roy thinks it's needed, and she has no doubt spent a lot of time trying to talk him out of it. They deserve each other wholly, and I can't wait for Roy to get slapped in the face with that.

The himbos are doing great. So proud of all of them. But, yes, especially Jamie but also Richard making clear that a fine wine is not an expensive wine. But also also, all of our boys.

I love you, Jan Mass. You keep up being Dutch, kiddo.

Beard being proud of Ted for learning soccer shit and also knowing how long to wait before getting back on the bus with a toad venom-addled driver is just the perfect dichotomy of Beard.

I have a lot of thoughts about Ted's actual relationship with Henry (clearly positive and happy and healthy) and what he thinks the relationship is (distant and unhappy because he's not physically there), but if I go down that road, I'm never coming back. In short, I hope that part of Ted's journey this season is realizing he is a great fucking father and that physical distance doesn't change that.

Ted calling Sharon for a clearly planned session right after dropping off Henry? That is fucking PROGRESS my friends. And not just that, but also he doesn't question Sharon setting time boundaries OR setting personal boundaries.

I LOVE that Sharon allows him to ask personal questions because the personal connection is absolutely what Ted needs. And I love that she refuses to give him clear answers and doesn't rise to the bait he tries to set out with 'You usually say no'. The way he asks the team and the sport then asks the number of Australians, then guesses rugby, and Sharon confirms NOTHING? That's top-tier therapist shit. And we all knew she was that good, but now Ted clearly knows it too and TRUSTS it, more importantly.

I didn't notice until gif sets, but they named the stadium after Earl. Which. Shut up.

Higgins having matching Keeley mascara on his shirt makes me SO HAPPY. Because it tells you without showing you that Higgins and Keeley are still close and caring about each other. And Rebecca and Higgins having a moment about it is so NICE. Just NICE. It's fucking NICE.

I mentioned Sharon's boytoy in another post, but I want to repeat it because 1) she deserves it, and 2) he shows he deserves HER because he's wearing headphones while she talks to a client, and he doesn't take them off until after she walks in the room, clearly off the phone. He respects her as a professional. This is very important and excellent.

I am going to find Rupert and kick him in the balls as many times as I can in one minute, then I'm going to take a five minute breather and start again.

The isolation of Nate at West Ham (alone on the escalator; not answering to a polite hello; standing far away from his co-coach on the field; working far away from the locker room) is intentionally uncomfortable for us as an audience. We're used to a very collaborative coach in a close-knit environment. But that's not Nate's story. Nate's story is one of thinking isolation and arrogance will save him from his worst self-fears. We all know that shouldn't be his goal, but it isn't about how WE know he's wrong. It's about NATE figuring out he's doing it wrong.

There is no fucking way Rupert didn't know it was Nate's car when he towed it. New guy. New car in the fancy lot. Does he ask, though? No. That would be healthy. Instead, he sets it up so Nate can see he's disappointed in him without him saying it (a common abuse tactic), and then lovebombing him with a new car as a way to tighten his control (another common abuse tactic). He also encouraged Nate's worst tendencies to build a sense of safety that isn't actually there because Rupert will absolutely use those same groomed instincts at a later date against Nate (more abuse tactics).

I hope Rupert gets him by a team bus is what I'm saying. And I want Nate to be driving it and do it on purpose, frankly.

I don't want it to be Rebecca only because she's beyond that point of her anger. But I def want her to be a character witness for Nate.

I want Ted to stay in England. He's talking a lot about how he doesn't know why he is where he is or doing what he's doing. And I know a lot of people hope he goes back to Kansas. But that's not my hope. My hope is that Ted will realize he's doing great stuff with these boys and that he's a great dad even with physical distance, and he finds a new love and appreciation for himself that is directly connected to making this huge, confusing, and messy leap to go to England.

You can do something dumb (run to England to escape your failing marriage) and learn that while your instincts may have been dumb, the overall result is positive and good for you.

Which, also, could be Nate's arc this season. He made several dumb decisions about being a source and going to West Ham, but the end result could be, "Oh, shit, I don't want to be this shitty person." and then he can grow and change on a similar but different path to Ted.

Okay, that's enough. That's very long. I get a lot of feels.

[lady-of-hearts-and-nightmares]

Mom, I’m Tired (Can I Sleep In Your House Tonight)

PETE AND ESME FIC BABY!!!! Featuring Little! Pete and CG! Esme. These two are so cute I couldn't help but write a fic about them.

@pete-spankoffski since they're inspired by our rps <3

--Summary:

Pete’s used to school being less than great, but somehow today might have been the worst day he’s ever had. It’s not long before Esme catches on to what’s wrong, and luckily she knows how to help him. 

--

Peter Spankoffski is used to school not being less than great. When you go to Hatchetfield High and have to be under the Jagerman’s rule, that’s just expected. All you can really do is keep your head down, hope you draw attention to yourself, and get on with the day. And Pete’s done that for as long as he can remember. He doesn’t really expect good days at school anymore, just bearable ones. 

Today, however, didn’t even manage to be bearable. In fact, as he’s walking home from that hellscape of a school called Hatchetfield High, Pete decides this might just be the worst day at school he’s ever had. Even the day Brad Callahan pantsed him in 7th grade was mildly better than the personal hell he just went through today. 

He doesn’t really want to think about today too much. It’s practically been a blur, anyways. All he really remembers is that he woke up way too early in the morning, he’d been basically alone the whole day (Ruth having to do lights for a full-day rehearsal and Steph and Richie being off sick), Max Jagerman had somehow been worse than usual (Pete had been welcomed into the school with Max tripping him up, bruising his knees and knocking off his glasses), and the cherry on top of it all was that his sensory issues decided to be as crappy as possible, making every noise too loud, every light too bright and every surface that wasn’t his sweater feel weird and uncomfy. 

Now he’s just trying to get home, back to the safety of his room and not have a meltdown. Rose’s gone with Olive and Jamie to some theatre thing, and Ted’s not going to get back from work any time soon, so luckily they won’t see him in this state. He’s angry and tired and so overstimulated right now that he’s not really paying attention to anything around him. 

Suddenly there’s  the screech of car breaks while he’s crossing the street, jolting him into awareness. He turns to see an annoyed looking driver who’s stopped their car, presumably not to hit Pete.

“Watch where you’re going, you idiot!” the driver yells.

Pete winces at the yelling. He’s in a worse mood than the driver, apparently, and this is just adding to everything that happened today.

“Maybe you watch where you're driving!” Pete snaps back, before running across the street and into the apartment block.

Miraculously, Pete somehow manages to get into the apartment and up to his room without having a meltdown. He slams the bedroom door shut - which is a little pointless, considering no one else is home, but he’s too tired to care as he slides down onto the floor. The overstimulation doesn’t seem to be going away like he hoped it would, the lights in his room being way too bright, the hum of the air conditioner worming its way into his ears. He knows he should probably get up and turn them off, but he doesn’t feel like getting up. Pete brings his knees to his chest, leaning his head back on the door frame. He whines a bit, gripping and tugging at his bow tie. 

“Peter?”

A voice says his name. Esme’s voice. Pete looks up to see her standing over him, a look of concern on her face.

“Hi, Esme,” he says, voice quieter than usual. 

He doesn’t really remember when Esme became a part of his life, and she isn’t sure when he became a part of hers, either. Pete also isn’t sure where she’s from or if she’s even human, given how she doesn’t really show up when other people are around. But a bond’s grown between them, one of affection for each other. They can recognize how the other’s feeling most of the time, and right now Esme can tell Pete isn’t feeling too good. 

“Are you okay, little one?” asks Esme, red hair draped across her face. She kneels down to his level to get a better look at him. The ‘little one’ nickname makes him feel fuzzy inside. 

“‘M fine,” he mumbles, unconvincingly. “School was just crap today, what’s new?”

“What’s new is that you usually don’t come back from school like this. Did something happen?”

“A lot happened…” Pete admits, burying his face back in knees, muffling his voice a bit.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Esme puts a hand on his shoulder, gentle yet firm. Something in Pete cracks, and tears start slipping out of his eyes and down his face. He tries to wipe them away, but that just causes Esme to notice and get more concerned. “Peter? What - what’s wrong? What happened at school today, sweetheart?”

And that’s when everything from today is just too much to hold in any longer. 

Pete breaks out in sobs, unable to stop himself. Esme is initially surprised by the outburst, but quickly realises he’s having a meltdown. She switches the lights off, turns down the AC a bit, before approaching Peter carefully. 

“Oh, Peter,” she whispers. “Come here, baby.” She gently pulls him into a hug, one he just lets himself melt into, clinging onto her like a lifeline as she wraps her arms around him. He grips onto her waistcoat, sobbing on her chest. She rubs circles on his back, soothing him, letting him get it all out. 

After some time, Pete’s sobs die down into hiccups and sniffling, though he keeps his face buried in Esme’s chest. He feels bad for getting her pretty waistcoat all wet with tears and snot, but neither of them seem to want to let go. Esme runs a soothing hand through Pete’s hair, playing with it a bit. 

“Ssh…it’s okay, sweetheart, it’s okay. You’re okay,” Esme whispers into his ear, her voice quite, hushed, calming. Safe. Esme’s voice felt safe. Mama’s voice felt safe. 

Feeling himself slipping, Pete blinks, trying (and failing) to stay big. Crying made him really tired, and a little hungry too. His head feels all dizzy. He looks up at Esme, tugging on her arm.

“What is it, little one?” asks Esme, wiping the remaining tears from his eyes. 

“Dizzy,” he manages to get out. Words feel hard right now. 

“Is it your blood sugar?” 

When Pete nods, Esme reaches over to his bag, pulling out one of the spare candy bars he keeps in there, unwrapping it and offering it to him. Pete takes it from her, the sweetness of the chocolate and the sugar making him feel a lot better already.

“Thank you, Mama,” Pete’s words slur together, and the nickname slips out of his mouth before he can stop himself. So much for staying big. He finishes the candy bar, putting the wrapper in the nearby waste bin.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” Esme smiles, patting him on the head. “You’re a very polite boy, Peter. And very clean too.”

Pete giggles, which quickly turns into a yawn. He tries to blink himself awake, but he’s really, really sleepy. 

“Tired, little one?” asks Esme, chuckling a bit when he yawns. Pete shakes his head, but then he yawns again, so he doesn’t end up seeming very convincing. Esme leads him to his bed, letting him rest his head on her lap. 

“‘M not sleepy,” Pete insists again, a bold claim considering his eyes are barely open. Esme playfully raises an eyebrow. Pete pounts at her. “I’m not!”

“Really?” Esme picks a stuffed dinosaur off the bed. “Because Mezzo says otherwise.” Pete’s eyes widen at Mezzo, and he makes grabby hands for the stuffed toy.

“Mezzo’s silly,” Pete mumbles, stuffing his face into Mezzo, yawning again. 

“Alright then. You don’t have to sleep, but you can lay here and play with Mezzo a bit, alright?”

“M’kay Mama!”

Pete starts a half-asleep ramble to Mezzo, asking the stuffed toy about Dinosaurs and pretending it can respond. Esme messes with his hair a bit, humming ‘you are my sunshine,’ half to herself and half to Pete. It’s a moment of peace, of love and tenderness for the two of them.

After some time, Pete falls asleep, mid-sentence in a ramble to Mezzo. Esme removes his glasses from his nose, putting them on the desk for now. Pete unconsciously curls in on himself, holding Mezzo close to his chest, mumbling sleepily. Esme leans down, planting a kiss on his forehead. 

“Goodnight, Little one,” she whispers, caressing his check. Even in his sleep, a small smile creeps up on Pete’s face. Maybe today hadn’t been all bad after all.

[wandsandwheezes]

Family Man | F. W

TW // mentions of prem kids, pregnancy, children but mostly pure fluff

Taglist ✨ @witch-and-a-half @weasleysflowr @hufflepuffgirly @theweasleysredhair @wand3ringr0s3

If you asked Fred Weasley what his pride and joy was, people would usually expect him to beam proudly about the success of the shop with his brother, nevertheless, when he smiles fondly and says 'Thea Weasley' people are more often than not surprised.

Fred loved his Daughter so much that words couldn't describe how much happiness filled his heart every time he saw her. The second she was born, she had him wrapped around her little finger, a father that would do anything for her.

When you and Fred married, you were quick to fall pregnant with your first child, a Daughter, named after your Mother but the absolute spitting image of her father, however her soft strawberry blonde locks curled into ringlets, a trait that seemed to sprout as soon as her hair was long enough.

"How're my girls doing?" Fred whispers, pulling off his jacket, having just walked in from a day at the shop. You're sat with your daughter nestled into your side, about an hour or so deep into a nap. Fred gently scoops her up, not before pressing a small kiss to your forehead with a sweet hello, her little arms instinctively wrapped around his neck, falling back asleep instantly.

He took her up to her bed, tucking her in underneath her covers before pressing a gentle kiss to her hair, "goodnight my sweet angel, sleep well"

"I wish she'd stop growing," He says, joining you on the sofa, allowing you to cuddle into his side, his hands moving to play with your hair as he kicks off his shoes. "one day I'll wake up and my little girl will be an adult."

Laughing gently, you trace circles on his chest, feeling relaxed against him, you reminice of the moments you'd had together as teenagers, talking like this about your futures, getting married, how many kids you'd wanted and how you'd both give anything to do all of that with each other.

"Unfortunately Freddie, all they do is grow," You move to press a kiss to his cheek, nuzzling your nose into his neck for warmth, causing him to wrap his arms even tighter around you.

Little did you know that day, you were already pregnant with your second & third weasley children - the twins, like their father but one boy and one girl, Lee and Winnie. Identical apart from the eyes, the girl like her fathers and the boy much like yours, both with signature weasley hair.

Not even a few months after the twins you found out you were having another son, Billy who looked much like his uncle Bill did as a child, as Molly had pointed out hence his name. You originally wanted to call him Jamie but when you met your little boy for thr first time, both you and Fred decided that Billy was definitely more fitting.

finally your youngest daughter, Arabella. She was a gift that none of you had expected, after some complications after having Billy, you didn't think that having another child would be on the cards again. You found out you were pregnant a week or so before Fred's Birthday you had taken test after test, and even a trip to St Mungos to make sure, but as your doctor assured you, Arabella was on her way.

The thing about little Bella was that she was a tiny baby, a premature birth. When she was born she was so fragile looking and hearing her cries broke Fred's heart. The doctors said that she was quite frankly a miracle, making her just another pillar of pride for your adoring husband.

Having five children with Fred was an interesting experience, the house grew louder and louder and soon became like a second Burrow, children in and out of the house, magic everywhere. It truly was reminiscent of both of your childhoods. Despite having all the children to look after, he loved all of them with his whole heart and nothing less.

Your kids loved loved going to see Fred's parents and getting to spend time with Uncle George and Uncle Ron it was heart-warming to watch your family love the people you chose to be your family. Winnie absolutely adored being around Ginny and Lee wanted nothing more than to be like his Uncle Harry.

When Thea's Hogwarts letter came, Fred genuinely thought he was going to have a heart attack, "Merlin, Y/N, my little girl isn't old enough to be going to Hogwarts!" he was sat across the table from you eating his lunch, The sounds of Lee and Winnie bickering as Billy quietly draws and Arabella sits in your lap, listening into the conversation. To you, you were watching your babies grow up right before your eyes but to Fred they were always his babies.

"Freddie, my love it'll be the twins next, Lee wont shut up about getting to see Uncle Harry at school." you laugh, playing with the little curls on Arabella's head, a trait inherited from her oldest sister, "give it four years and our Bella will be off on her first year at Hogwarts with all of her siblings."

"I don't even want to think about that, I really don't know how Mum did it, sending us off one by one." you laugh lightly looking at your husband with a small smirk, "From what i heard from Molly, she was all but kicking you onto the platform, apparently you and George were a nightmare"

"We so were not!" he defended, feigning fake offense, rolling his eyes and taking a bite from his sandwich. "I think we were absolute golden angels" you raise an eyebrow at him, shaking your head, "You can be a golden angel and take Thea with you to Diagon Alley tomorrow to get her supplies, I don't fancy a day trip to London with the whole weasley clan just yet!" you laugh, he nods finishing up his food, the plate finding it's way to the sink, being washed up magically like at the Burrow, he presses a kiss to your hair, heading quickly to step into his father shoes, only to break up the growing argument between the twins.

You sat, content in the family you created, praising your younger self for putting up with all of Fred's antics because really, you were the luckiest girl on earth, with the greatest man alive, a loving father and the best Husband.

The time came to send Thea off on the Hogwarts Express, Molly had agreed to look after the rest of the children as you sent off your oldest, you were crying with fred as you hugged your little girl goodbye before she got onto the train. "Remember, Thea, it doesn't matter what house you get put in, and if you need someone to help you, you find Ted or Uncle Harry and they'll help you out." she laughs, wrapping her arms around her father's neck giving him a long hug. "I'll be fine, Dad, after all, I've got the weasley name to live up to!" he smiles proudly at his daughter, i give her one last kiss, giving her a couple of galleons for the train, "I love you, Thea." she hugs me again, "Love you too, Mumma!"

"One down, Four to go." you joke, leaning into your husband's side as you wave the train off, "At least the twins will have each other and Thea next year, the poor girl is all on her own!" you shake your head, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I'm sure she's already made friends, she's much like you when it comes to being outgoing..." he smiles, calming down a little, "I can't believe we've just sent our first off to Hogwarts." you hug him gently. "Neither can I, Freddie, neither can I."

[lupin-for-president]

Jeddy Headcanons

First things first, these two have been best friends since the beginning of time, literally attached at the hip for as long as they could remember. They did everything together when they were younger, despite the age gap between them. (After all, seven years really isn’t that much of a separation).

Their relationship was very intimate. (Not in the sexual way, more so the caring for and protecting each other way.)

Teddy always called the brunette Jamie or James Sirius, never just James (unless he was mad at him).

James had a thing for calling Teddy, Ted. (And he called him Edward when he was teasing him or annoyed).

Teddy used to sneak James candy when James was supposed to be taking naps and quickly found out that the spicy cinnamon ones were his favorite.

Teddy was the one who taught James how to fly on his broom. James was only two so he was a little wobbly but Teddy always made sure to fling his body out so that he could be a cushion for James’ fall.

There was a time when James was about four —and Teddy was eleven— that James wouldn’t go to sleep unless Teddy was laying with him in bed and it got so bad that Harry and Ginny ended up having to move Teddy’s bed into James’ room because of it.

James would wake up every time Teddy would try to crawl out of the bed, so eventually Teddy just gave up trying to sleep on his own and slept next to James all night long.

Because of this, when Teddy went to Hogwarts the following year, he found himself unable to sleep correctly for the first two months because he couldn’t seem to fall asleep without James being sprawled out on top of him.

When Teddy was away at school, James became extremely withdrawn from everyone else and didn’t enjoy going on playdates anymore, not even with his favorite cousins.

James would draw Teddy tons of scribbled pictures and send them to him via owl and even sent the occasional howler. Which of course caused Teddy to smile like mad when he heard James’ little excited voice telling him all about his week.

Harry once walked in on Teddy in James’ room, looking over a stack of James’ drawings that was sitting on his little desk in the corner, tears streaming down his pale face. James was tucked away and asleep in his bed, unaware of either of their presence.

When Harry asked him about it later, Teddy responded with, “Jamie stopped sending me his drawings. I just wanted to see some of them again.”

Around the time when James turned seven, he had noticed Teddy started to separate himself from him.

The day that Teddy tried to postpone his and James’ movie night to hang out with some of his friends from school, was the very first time that James had ever yelled at Teddy in the whole seven years that he had been alive.

“You know what? Just forget it! I never want to watch movies with your stupid face ever again!” Seven year old James had screamed before slamming his bedroom door shut right in Teddy’s face.

Teddy immediately cancelled his plans and wouldn’t stop banging on James’ door until he let him back in.

For James’ tenth birthday, all he wanted was to pierce his ear but Ginny and Harry said no because he should “wait until he was at least thirteen before he did something like that.”

Teddy ended up piercing his ear with an old sewing needle in their guest bathroom a week later at about 2 in the morning.

There was so much blood, Teddy nearly passed out. But the piercing actually turned out really good, so the two of them didn’t mind cleaning up the mess.

The next year when James started his first year at Hogwarts —Teddy going into his seventh— he found him and Teddy becoming closer than ever.

Being best friends with Hogwarts’ residential prankster and heartthrob gave poor eleven year old James a lot of unwanted attention. Mostly from girls who wanted to know how to make Teddy fall in love with them.

That question always pissed James off for some reason.

At Teddy’s graduation ceremony, James was the first person he hugged, lifting him up in the air and spinning him around —as if he weighed nothing at all— while James cried heavy tears.

Teddy didn’t have to ask to know that James was crying because he was scared Teddy to leave him behind.

As if Teddy would ever dream of it.

Teddy stayed at home with Harry and Ginny and got a job at a muggle tattoo parlor, saying he just wanted to stick around to “help out.” But Harry and Ginny both knew it was because he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving his family.

James was obsessed with playing with Teddy’s hair and it became like an addiction to Teddy.

Anytime Teddy was tired he would lay a pillow in James’ lap and pick up the boy’s hand to place it in his hair so that he could fall asleep.

Teddy loved painting James’ nails.

When James would be reading, Teddy would sit down beside him or in front of him and just paint his nails because he was bored.

While at his fourth year at Hogwarts, James found himself missing his blue-haired counterpart immensely, and wrote to him nearly every day.

Until writing wasn’t enough.

James would help sneak Teddy into Hogwarts in disguise, the two of them hiding out in empty closets and classrooms until the early hours of the morning when James would have to go to get ready for his lessons.

That was about the time when James had started to come to terms with the sappy little crush he had somehow managed to acquire.

At first he felt foolish and refused to even entertain the idea at all, but soon he found himself falling hopelessly in love with Edward Remus Lupin.

That summer when he came back from school was when Teddy found his love letters.

James ran to the bathroom and threw up whenever he walked in on Teddy perched on the edge of James’ bed. The sight of the old brown shoebox sitting in his lap and slips of pink paper in his hands nearly killed him. James locked himself in the bathroom and wouldn’t come out until Teddy left.

They didn’t talk for a while after that.

The day before James would be returning to Hogwarts for his sixth year, the two found themselves alone in their house. (Ginny was off at a quidditch tournament and Harry had taken Albus and Lily to buy school supplies).

Teddy picked the lock on James’ bedroom door and shoved his way in, shutting it back behind him.

“Get out of my room,” James said bluntly.

“No, not until you talk to me, Jamie.”

“Don’t. Don’t call me that,” the brunette snapped, standing up from his bed with tears in his eyes, “I am begging you not to call me that. Please. I can’t take it, I can’t.”

Teddy ignored the request and walked up to James, placing his hands on his shoulders. “Jamie, why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Tell you what? That I’m in love with you? It wouldn’t have changed anything!” James cried, his voice cracking.

They stood in silence for a few moments before Teddy pulled James in for a hug, immediately causing the shorter boy to tense up. James couldn’t see it, but as Teddy wrapped his arms tightly around James’ shoulders, he was fighting off tears of his own.

“Just— Wait. Wait a few years please,” Teddy whispered, his fingers gripping the other’s shirt until his knuckles turned white.

James cried even harder at that.

But still, he waited.

He actually waited for two years, five months, and seventeen and a half days to be exact.

It was the day of James’ nineteenth birthday.

Teddy had a long talk with Harry a week prior, explaining to him how he felt. He cried his eyes out the entire time, worried that his godfather was going to tell him how wrong it was for him to be even slightest bit interested in his son.

He was shocked when Harry just laughed, saying that he already knew.

He was even more shocked when Harry offered to help set up a date for the two of them, as a gift.

That’s how James Sirius Potter found himself in the middle of the forest, fairy lights hanging from tree branches and blankets laid across the ground, with Teddy Lupin grinning at him from ear to ear.

“Happy birthday, James Sirius,” Teddy beamed, taking a step towards him.

“When you said you wanted to hang out in the forest, this wasn’t at all what I was expecting,” James answered back, meeting the other man in the middle of the clearing.

“Is it bad?” Teddy squeaked.

This was the first time James had ever seen Teddy flustered, a deep red painting the blue-haired man’s cheeks as he stared down at James, biting on the corner of his lip nervously.

“It’s beautiful, Ted. I can’t believe you did all this for me,” James smiled.

“I wanted it to be perfect for our first,” Teddy shrugged. “It may sound childish but I wanted it to be special.”

“Our first what?”

Teddy didn’t answer with words, rather by pressing his lips ever so gently against James’. The brunette was caught off guard, shock reaming through his entire body as he mindlessly wrapped his arms around Teddy’s neck.

When Teddy pulled back a few moments later, his face was even more flushed than before. He pressed his forehead against James’, trying to steady his heart.

“Our first everything.”

It was only a year and a half later when the two of them found themselves back in the same clearing, this time at an altar in front of their family and friends.

Teddy was trying to hide the tears streaming down his face as stared at James —who also couldn’t stop from crying— because he wanted to seem tough.

When they said their vows, Teddy kissed James harder than he ever had before, his hands cupping the sides of James’ face.

Anytime they had fights or arguments Teddy would pull the “I’m older so you have to listen to me” card.

It pissed James off that he found it attractive.

James would always cry to get his way.

They end up adopting a little girl and naming her Remmy. Teddy is head over heels for her and overly protective.

James brings Teddy lunch at the tattoo parlor every Tuesday, where Teddy full on embarrasses James by expressing excessive amounts of PDA in front of all his clients.

They might look a little odd, a clean cut looking gentleman standing next to a punk rock lunatic, but they compliment each other very well.

And they’re just hopelessly in love.

This was all over the place, I am so sorry. These are just random thoughts I had about them and I love them so much.

[matrixaffiliate]

Endeavor

Chapter Update! FFN and AO3

I want to promise you right now that this story is a happy story and has a happy ending...just stick with me. ;) Next chapter goes up on Friday, August 21st.

Chapter 4

Ted made it back to his flat and forced himself to plug his phone in next to his bed so he would stop checking it again and again. She said she would text him. He just had to trust that.

He tried to distract himself by tidying up his room a bit, but his mind kept going back to how amazing the night had been. Being there with Vic felt right, it felt easy, it felt like everything he wanted things between them to be.

He was kicking himself over that feeling for the hundredth time when his phone buzzed on his night table.

Unknown: Did you make it home alright?

Ted let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and saved the number.

Ted: Who is this? How do I know you aren't a predator?

He grinned and laid back in his bed, propping himself up against his pillow.

Vic: I'm totally a predator. My victims are always white males in their mid-twenties.

Ted laughed out loud.

Ted: That seems fair. I guess I can talk to you until my coworker decides to get back to me. She was supposed to text me tonight.

Ted watched her typing icon with what he was sure was a stupid grin on his face.

Vic: As fun as that sounds, I really was looking forward to guessing your name, so can we drop this game and pick up that one?

Ted: Such a killjoy.

Vic: You promised me clues, Ted…

Ted: How do I know you're really Vic and not an impersonator?

Vic: Because your wolf figurine is sitting on my desk next to my laptop dock, and you knocked half your chips on the floor tonight when Jamie said that it was probably time you found a girlfriend.

Ted groaned. That had, unfortunately, happened. Jamie had asked if Ted would start dating now that he was done with university and only had the one job. Ted had been so flustered that he tipped his basket up and knocked some of his chips on the floor.

Ted: So cruel...why would I give you any information about my full name now?

She sent him a GIF of a baby about to cry, and Ted started laughing. He started to type a snarky reply but stopped himself when a dangerous thought crossed his mind.

What if he called her? Heaven knew he wanted to.

He deleted what he already wrote and started again.

Ted: Don't do that, don't pull on my heartstrings. I'll make you a deal, call me so I know it's you and then I won't hang up until you know my name.

Ted hit send and held his breath. He was beyond screwed at this point. He was certain she was going to play this off, tell him she was tired and they could pick up this twisted game on Monday.

Then his phone rang and Teddy's heart exploded in his chest.

"You waste no time, Weasley, do you?"

"Oh, shut up," Vic laughed and Ted tried to let his relieved sigh out slowly.

"No more stalling, Ted, I want my clues."

Ted grinned, "But of course, I'm a man of my word.

"Clues, Ted, clues!"

Ted laughed. "First clue, a few of my predecessors have been our country's monarch, while another abdicated the throne."

"Ha!" She shouted, and Ted laughed as he moved his phone to his other ear.

"I knew you were an Edward," she laughed. "You're too down to earth to be a Theodore."

"What does that even mean?"

"Doesn't matter, all that matters is I was right!"

Ted couldn't stop smiling. "Are you satisfied with being right enough to not care about my last name, then?"

"In your dreams, Edward."

Ted swallowed. Maybe this was a bad idea, but he was already in this deep, too late to back out now.

"Alright, do an internet search for the scientific name of wolves."

It was quiet for a moment before Vic spoke.

"Canis Lupus?"

"Right," Ted smirked, "and this is probably the part where you decide you hate me. Because next, you take those letters and rearrange them into my last name. You'll only need five of them though."

Vic groaned. "Ted that is an awful clue!"

"I don't know, it stretches your mind and gets your brain thinking. Those are things that are supposed to help stop Alzheimer's. So really, I'm helping you, Weasley, I'm preserving your brain for your future self."

"You're so full of it," Vic laughed. "Come on, Ted, give me more than a word scramble."

Ted could feel the smile stretching across his face.

"Please, Ted." Vic's voice went soft and Ted felt himself falling.

"Alright, one last clue," he looked over at his desk and the picture of him and his mum when he was ten, a bouquet of flowers in her hands. "There's a flower, it's my last name. It's usually purple, but they come in pink and blue and orange too."

"You should send me a picture of the flower."

Ted rolled his eyes. "I have to make you work for something Weasley."

"Fine," she laughed, "I'm turning on my laptop."

"You're going to try and search for it? What is your search even going to be?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She teased.

"I would actually," Ted chuckled. "That way the next time someone wants to guess my name I can make it harder."

"I can't believe it! It worked!"

"What's my last name then, Weasley?"

"Lupin!"

Ted laughed. "What the hell did you search?!"

"Canis Lupus flower."

"Well done, Vic," Ted picked at one of the stray threads on his blanket.

"Why thank you, Edward Lupin."

His name felt like a song when she said it.

"Not a bad name, eh?"

"I've heard worse," Vic's voice was soft again. "But you still haven't told me your middle name."

"No way, Weasley," he laughed, "I don't know that about you, so I'm not giving you that information about me."

"If I tell you my middle name will you tell me yours?"

Ted felt his heart rate increase

"Yeah, I think that's fair."

It was quiet a moment before Vic made her decision. "It's Gabrielle, it's my aunt's name."

"Victoire Gabrielle Weasley," Teddy tried it out and it felt like honey on his tongue.

Vic cleared her throat, "Alright, your turn, what's your middle name?"

"Remus, after my dad," Ted answered without hesitation, "And Edward is after my grandfather."

"Edward Remus Lupin, that has a nice flow to it."

Ted smiled. "I've always been fond of my name."

It was contentedly quiet between them and then Ted got up the courage to ask something he'd been thinking about since Jamie said Vic had him reading a rough draft of a book she wrote.

"So, you're writing a book?"

Vic was silent a while longer before she answered. "Yeah, I, er, I've been working on it since uni."

"And you got a communications degree instead of focusing on creative writing because…?" Ted held his breath, worried that Vic would shut down this conversation.

"Well, I thought a communications degree would pay the bills, you know?"

"Authors do tend to have day jobs," Ted chuckled. "So, what's this story about? From someone as brilliant as you are, I'm sure it's a best-seller waiting to break all the records."

"Well, it's a fantasy epic," Vic started but then she went silent. "Oh, Sean is calling, you alright if we call it a night?"

Ted leaned his head back into the wall and closed his eyes. "Sure, I'll see you Monday."

"Thanks, Ted. See you Monday."

Teddy tossed his phone back on his night table. He might as well find something to distract himself from how much it sucked to be falling for a girl that was so far out of his reach. He changed into his P.J.s and then decided he would see if Kalil was in the mood for some late-night Mario Kart or something, but his phone buzzed against his table.

Vic: What is it with people deciding they have to call other people when they're drunk?

Ted sighed; he shouldn't do this. He should act like he fell asleep and text her in the morning.

Vic: He's singing me the song playing at the pub. It's Jamie's Got A Gun.

Ted laughed and gave in.

Ted: Maybe it's code ;)

Vic: That would be the worst way to tell me he was in trouble!

Ted grinned.

Ted: But think of the possibilities! You could send all sorts of messages with songs!

He watched Vic's typing icon and laughed when her message came through.

Vic: You mean like Viva la Vida?

Ted: You fancy yourself a disgraced king?

Vic: I'm full of surprises.

Ted: That you are Weasley.

Ted smiled as he watched Vic's typing icon blink on his screen.

Vic: I finally convinced him to go home and get some water. I'll see you on Monday, Edward Remus Lupin. ;)

Vic: Goodnight, Victoire Gabrielle Weasley.

He set his phone back down on his night table and flipped the lamp off.

Monday couldn't get here fast enough.

OoOoOoOoO

Ted laughed when he walked into the office Monday morning. His wolf figurine sat in the center of his desk with a fence built out of paperclips around it.

"Afraid he'll run back to you?"

"I just want him to understand that he has to stay with you." Vic grinned.

Ted moved his wolf out of the corral and set him down closer to Vic's desk.

"There, now he won't feel like you've abandoned him."

"What about my fence?" Vic teased.

"Oh, I think I'll see what I can get for it on eBay. There's bound to be someone out there who wants a paperclip fence."

"Start the bidding at ten quid. I'll accept nothing less for my artwork."

"Maybe we should paint it, raise its value." Ted laughed at the face Vic made.

"You want to ruin it? How dare you suggest such things!"

"I'm just saying," Ted laughed, "Why settle for less when we could maybe get twelve quid for it instead of ten?"

"You mean settle for eight quid because you had to ruin it with paint." She shot back with a laugh.

"Color makes everything better."

"Of course, you think that," Vic grinned and gestured to his hair.

Ted ruffled his hair, "Well, you told me you liked it that first day, so I think you just proved my point."

Vic smiled and looked down at her hands. "So, did you, did you really want to know about my book?"

"Of course, I do," Ted felt like she'd just offered him fifty pounds. "Is it YA or NA or YMCA?"

Vic laughed and started to give him the sparsest of details.

"That's all you're going to tell me?" Ted threw his hands up. "Come on, you can't expect me to believe you only want to tell me the basics. You've been working on this epic for more than three years!"

"Well, I mean, Sean doesn't really like to hear about it, and I just thought…"

"I'm not Sean, Vic," Ted rolled his eyes. "I want to know everything, so let's get to it."

Vic gave him a shy smile, "If you're sure?"

"I asked, didn't I?"

She smiled and before Ted knew it, they'd lost the first hour of the workday.

"Ok, let's get some work done, and then you can tell me the rest." Ted laughed. "I haven't even logged in yet."

"You're sure you want to hear how it ends?" Vic teased him.

"So torturous," Ted grinned at her.

Vic went to respond but her desk phone rang and for a moment she looked torn before turning her chair back to her desk and answering the call.

Ted grinned to himself as he went back to getting set up for the day. Things were going well, they were having fun, and he was settling happily into not just the position, but also the goal of growing their department into the first branch of Bread & Butter to break off and stand on its own.

But it wasn't so great when Sean showed up at lunch and took Vic for the rest of the day. She texted him an hour after they'd left and asked that he cover for her in the case that Ron showed up, and she asked Ted to forward her desk phone to her cell phone. Ted did so, and then spent the rest of the day feeling like an idiot.

And things continued to go up and down as they moved into winter and approached Christmas.

It only made things harder when Ted realized that he wasn't hiding his attraction to Vic well from anyone, except maybe Vic.

"Why are you looking at stuffed toys that look like wolves?" Kalil sat down next to him on the sofa and leant in to see his laptop screen a bit more than a week before Christmas.

"I was thinking of giving it as a present," Ted defended.

"Right, but for whom?" Kalil gave him a pointed stare and Ted rolled his eyes.

"I don't see how that's relevant."

"Ted! You're buying a present for your coworker who is in a relationship!"

"I never said it was for Vic!" Ted shut his laptop.

"You didn't have to," Kalil shook his head. "Look, Ted, I'm worried about you. You're obsessed with Vic and she's off-limits. You need to get out of your head. Come to the pub with me and Maira tonight. I'm sure she can get a few people to come too. You need to remember that there are more women in this city than just your coworker."

"Kalil," Ted ran his hands over his face.

"What would you do if she married Sean?"

Ted felt like Kalil had just punched him in the stomach. He couldn't breathe for a moment and his chest felt like it was collapsing.

"See," Kalil put a hand on his shoulder, "I can see it in your face, Ted, you're falling for her. Stop it! Get out and find someone just as great. Come to the pub tonight."

Ted let out a long breath, and he couldn't help but think that maybe, maybe Kalil was right. Vic seemed to like to goof around with him, but she'd shown no signs of leaving Sean for him. No matter how many times Sean let her down, no matter how many times he did something that she didn't like, she stayed. And the nearly five months of working with her had been full of huge highs and incredible lows. He'd loved the moments where he felt like it was just the two of them, but walking out after work on the days Sean picked her up to find he hadn't waited long enough after she'd left as he got a full view of Sean's tongue down her throat left him feeling like a loser.

"Alright," Ted nodded, "I'll come tonight."

Kalil squeezed his shoulder, "Good on you, mate. You'll see, this will be a good thing."

Ted nodded, but a part of him wondered if it really was.

Even with his misgivings, Ted was ready to head out when Maira showed up at their flat.

"I'm so glad you're coming with us!" Maira hugged him. "I've asked a friend to meet us there, I think you'll have fun!"

Ted rubbed the back of his neck, "Thanks, Maira, I appreciate it."

"Let's head out then," Kalil took Maira's hand and led them out into the cold.

Ted realized after they'd been out for a bit, just the three of them, that this was a good idea. He hadn't gone out much at all since before finals in May. Getting to laugh and talk with friends felt freeing.

"Oh, there's Nicki!" Maira jumped up and waved her friend over to their table.

Ted turned around to see a woman who could have been described as Vic's opposite. She had black hair with lime green highlights and it was cut in choppy layers, the longest barely touching her shoulders. And while Vic tended to wear conservatively colored clothes, at least at work and the one Saturday Ted had seen her, Nicki was wearing a bright pink blouse with teal trousers; her orange coat draped over her arm.

"Nicki this is Kalil's roommate, Ted Lupin. Ted this is my friend Nicki Choi."

"It's nice to meet you, and I love your hair!" She shook his hand across the table as she sat down.

"Thanks, I like yours as well." Ted smiled. Nicki wasn't Vic, but she definitely put out the vibe that she liked to have a good time.

And she did. Nicki was loud and fun and not afraid of anything. She tried anything she was put up to. She laughed loudly. She defended her opinions with passion, even if he flat out told her she was wrong. Nicki reminded Ted a bit of the stories he had heard about his mum when she was his age.

Ted was having fun, and so when Nicki scooted closer to him, he didn't think about it when he draped his arm across her shoulders. And when she rested her head on his shoulder, he let her. A small part of him pushed back, but Ted told that part of him that if Vic could snog Sean in the car park, then he could let a cool woman rest her head on his shoulder.

"I'm calling it a night," Nicki moved to hug Maira at about half eleven. Then she turned to Ted. "Will you wait with me out front for my Uber?"

"Sure thing," Ted nodded and moved to follow her. He tried to ignore the way Kalil grinned at him.

"This was fun," Nicki smiled up at him and pulled her orange coat closer around her.

"Yeah," Ted nodded, "yeah it was."

"So, who broke your heart?"

Ted blinked. "What?"

"You have 'heartbroken' written all over your face. I figured that was why Maira called me." She smiled sympathetically at him.

"I, er, it's complicated." Ted shook his head and rubbed his hand over his eyes.

"Did you have fun tonight?"

"Yeah," Ted chuckled, "yeah, I actually had a lot of fun."

"We could keep having fun. I don't expect you to move into another relationship with me, but we could just have fun, spend some time reminding you that hearts heal."

Ted hesitated. He didn't know why, but he did. Nicki was amazing. He'd be an idiot to turn her down.

"Here," Nicki pulled out a gum wrapper and pen from her clutch and wrote on it. "This is my number. Think about it, Ted, I think we could have a lot of fun together."

Ted nodded as he took the gum wrapper. "Thanks, I, er, I'll think about it, alright?"

Nicki smiled and then nodded a few cars down from the curb. "There's my Uber. Thanks, Ted."

She stepped forward and kissed his cheek, her cold lips managing to warm just the skin they touched.

Ted stood in the cold and watched her wave once before climbing into the Uber. He waved back and then the car pulled away.

He took a moment before he went back inside. Gum wrapper still clasped in his hand. He'd had fun with Nicki, and she obviously had fun with him. She was fun and beautiful and he admired her spunk and attitude.

So why was he hesitating?

Ted slipped the wrapper into his wallet and went back inside.

"That took some time," Kalil smirked at him.

"Er, yeah, I, we talked," Ted took a swig from his drink.

"Nicki is amazing, Ted," Maira smiled.

"Yeah, yeah she's, she's really cool, I, er, she gave me her number."

"You're going to call her, right?" Kalil asked.

"I, er, I think I might, yeah."

Kalil stared at him like he was stupid and Ted sighed.

"I think I'm done for tonight, mates. I'll catch an Uber home, let you two enjoy the rest of your night." Ted didn't wait for a response. He forced a smile and moved to the door. The pub wasn't all that far from their flat, and so Ted decided to walk it instead of requesting the ride.

The cold was bitter, but it helped to clear his head, though not enough to figure out what he should do. He wanted to hope that maybe Vic would suddenly return his feelings and dump Sean and be with him. But even with all the problems he could see she was having with Sean, Vic still stayed. A part of Ted feared she always would.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Monday morning rolled around and Ted was trying to figure out if he was looking forward or not to seeing Vic as he drove into work. He'd spent Sunday more or less holed up in his room, and Kalil seemed content to let Ted work through this one on his own. That didn't mean Ted was any surer one way or the other, though.

But when Ted walked into the office, he paused.

Vic hadn't made it in yet.

That felt weird. Ted was never late, but Vic was always early. He tried to shrug it off and get himself settled in for the day. She'd probably hit traffic was all. But even as he kept telling himself that, Ted kept trying to see around the corner of the building out the window into the car park.

Finally, he heard the door push open and Ted spun in his chair, ready to razz her for being late. But his eyes fell on her hand as she pulled off her glove with her teeth.

"You've got to be kidding me." He'd said it before he could stop himself.

"I know!" Vic smiled down at her ring. "I would have thought he would have waited for Christmas or New Year's, but he asked last night!"

"That's," Ted forced a smile, "wow. I, er, congratulations."

"Thanks," Vic smiled at the ring again and then started getting settled into her desk.

Ted thought he might vomit. He needed to get out. He couldn't be here, not with her, not now, now that she'd chosen Sean permanently.

He picked up his desk phone and forwarded it to his cell. Then he shut down his laptop.

"Are you going somewhere?" Vic looked over as he packed up.

"I have a few sales calls I'm going on today."

"Oh, well, are we still good for dinner?"

Ted paused. He'd forgotten all about their Monday and Wednesday meetings over dinner. Those evenings that he looked forward to every week. The moments that he felt connected to her in a way that felt real to him.

"I actually have something tonight. I'm sorry I should have remembered to tell you on Friday." He zipped up his backpack and grabbed his coat.

"I'll see you tomorrow, and congrats again, it's brilliant."

"Thanks," Vic frowned, "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Right," Ted nodded and left without a second glance.

He was grateful that she wouldn't be able to see him from the window as he stepped into the car park. How could he have been so stupid? Of course, she chose Sean. Ted had wanted her to like him so much he'd blinded himself to the fact that she was in love with her boyfriend, tosser that he was.

Ted drove home and set up at his desk in his room to get back to work. He tossed his wallet on his dresser and paused. He pulled out the gum wrapper and called Nicki.

It went straight to voicemail, and Ted almost hung up, almost gave into that part of him that hoped Vic would choose him, but he pushed that aside and left a message.

"Hey, Nicki, it's Ted. I was calling to see if you wanted to grab a drink or something. I, er, I hope to hear back from you. Bye."

He set his phone down on the desk and powered on his laptop. Then his phone buzzed.

Nicki: Hey Ted, it's Nicki, I'm in a meeting, but would you like to meet for lunch today?

Ted didn't let himself hesitate this time.

Ted: Sounds great, send me an address and time. I'll meet you there.

[newagesispage]

                                                              FEBRUARY             2021

 PAGE RIB

 The contents of someone’s bookcase are part of their history, like an ancestral portrait. –Umberto Eco

*****

The world is about to change with Biden and Harris in office. It is great to have Harris in there. More women in power is so important. Women don’t think with their dicks. I mean, a pussy likes to fuck just as much but we can also get some work done. Men are rarely as good at multitasking.  The inauguration went off with high security after the Trump insurrection. 5 were killed as the traitors stormed the Capitol on Jan. 6 but Biden still became the President on the 20th. Hooray for Pastor Raphael Warnock and Jon Osoff in Georgia for taking the Senate. We are off to an interesting start with Merrick Garland nominated for AG.** Janet Yellen is the 78th US Treasury secretary and the first woman!**John Kerry is the envoy for climate and Pete Buttigieg is up for secretary of transportation. ** Biden reversed the ban on transgender troops, stopped the Muslim ban and signed many other executive orders.

*****

Kudos to Bill Maher for giving out  his Baldy award and talking about Henry Waxman. And I was glad to see Waxman mention it and the many others who do the hard work, the real work of running this country.

*****

Elon Musk is now the world’s richest person.

*****

Did ya see the Wendy Williams night on Lifetime?  I have known friends and family with her behavior, this complete lack of self- confidence and yet completely self -absorbed. Yes, she was married to a jack ass and she can be entertaining but whew.. high drama.  I learned one thing.. Her Father and brother are HOT!!

*****

Neil Young sold stake in 50% of his song catalogue to Hipgnosis songs fund in Britain.

*****

John Mulaney is in rehab.

*****

The Little things with Jared Leto, Denzel and Rami Malek was tops at the Box Office.

*****

Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles?? Ooh la la!! What a beautiful couple!!

*****

Thank you Cleveland Browns for all the hope!!** And..C’mon Packers.. U should have won that!!** Seahawk Chad Wheeler was arrested for domestic abuse.

*****

Think before you speak, read before you think. –Fran Leibowitz

*****

The Zodiac killer cipher was solved by amateur codebreakers David Orandak in Virginia, Jarl Van Eycke in Belgium and Sam Blake in Australia more than 50 years later.

*****

Rebel with Katey Sagal looks pretty good.

*****

Richard Lewis will not be in season 11 of Curb due to his many surgeries. Miss ya Richard!!

*****

Elliot Page has filed for divorce from Emma Portner.

*****

In the ‘some things never go away’ category, there are new shows coming of V.C. Andrews and the Great Gatsby.

*****

Dylan McDermott is joining Christopher Meloni in Law and Order: Organized Crime.

*****

Cigarette sales are up.

*****

Crayola is recycling old markers at colorcycle. Never throw away markers again! Less Waste!

*****

Days alert: The big reveal FINALLY came on Days about Gwen from Peoria. She thinks she is Jack’s daughter! It looks like the DNA will prove it. The plot will thicken as Laura returns with a secret and bad things happen to her. Susan Banks is also back and gets in the middle of a couple of stories. I am always glad to see Ivan but unfortunately Vivian is close behind. The twins story should come to a head. Please don’t push Rafe and Nicole together!! Word is that Patch and Kayla will remarry on their old anniversary of Valentine’s Day!! Best of all, Ciara is back and has thoughts of Romeo and Juliet. Find her Ben, before you get close to Claire.

*****

Tom Brokaw has retired from NBC after 55 years. I remember when he retired from the news desk way back when.

*****

Ex- Chester county Sheriff Carolyn Welsh has been charged with stealing from a K-9 unit charity.

*****

Succession has added Sanaa Latham, Jihae and Linda Edmond.

*****

People are filling in for Robert Costa on Washington Week while he is off with Bob Woodward writing their book.  Yamiche Alcindor was a great host!!!!

*****

Some last headlines and thoughts and facts about the end of the worst Presidency in our history. Let’s hope this is the last of the news about the Traitor in chief except for paying for his crimes. Unity does not mean there are no consequences for criminals. Make no mistake Trump and some of his followers are criminals. **Here are a few things I ran across: Vanilla Ice played Mar A Lago for NY Eve.** After the riot many rats started to jump ship like Elaine Chao, Hope Hicks and Betsy Devos. The American Federation of Teachers reaction to Betsy Devos resignation: “Good Riddance.”** Mo Brooks had told the crowd, “Take names and kick ass.” Plans for a Sen. Hawley book were scrapped.** Adam Kinzinger of Illinois was one of the first to call for the 25th amendment that never happened.** People are trying to get to the bottom of the Riot with questions like, “Who paid for the buses?” ** These types of people are the reason we can’t have nice things. **  Scary Clown is off Twitter for good. Funny how it took Senators, companies and voters so long, 2 weeks before he leaves office to make him a pariah. Trump was too dangerous for twitter but not for the nuclear codes?? ** To anyone complaining about a private media co. kicking Trump off their platform: Think of twitter as a Christian bakery and Trump as a wedding cake. _William Cusack**The riot proved that blue lives really don’t matter to them.** U.S. rep for Colorado Lauren Boebert was given $70,500 by Ted Cruz just as he asked for a probe into Netflix. Her husband, Jayson was arrested for exposing himself to a minor and for domestic abuse.** Trump was impeached again.** “Republican colleagues broke down in tears saying that Republicans are afraid for their lives if they vote for this impeachment.- Congressman Jason Crow.** Mike Pompeo cancelled his European trip after Luxemburg’s foreign minister and top European union officials declined to meet him.**232 was the number of votes to impeach him and the number of electoral vote in his loss to Biden.**Trump’s interior secretary had his own flag** Trumps EPA guy made super- secret phone calls in his own phone booth and had 24 hour security.** Toby Keith and Ricky Scaggs received the National medal of arts. ** The Supreme Court tossed out a lawsuit claiming that Trump violated the emoluments clause. ** Dominion voting systems sued Rudy.** Trumps impeachment lawyers, Butch Bowers and Deb Barbier quit. Word is that they refused to say the election was stolen. The new team seems to include Bruce Castor who would not prosecute Bill Cosby and Epstein’s would be lawyer David Schoen. That sounds about right.

*****

Hey Manson didn’t stab anyone. Incitement is a real crime. –Michael Mckean.

*****

ABC News President James Goldston has resigned.

*****

Everyone is talking about the SNL Krasinski/Davidson kiss.

*****

The NRA is bankrupt.

*****

Lenny Kravitz paid tribute to his Godmother, Cicely Tyson.

*****

Colbert could take a tip from Larry King. Ask simple direct questions and let the interviewee talk. We are watching to hear what they have to say. The beginning of the show is the host’s moment so shut up later!!

*****

R.I.P. Dan Dettman, Floyd Little, Pierre Cardin, Phyllis Mcguire, George Gerdes, Joan Micklin Silver, Carl Panzram, Gerry Marsden, Tanya Roberts, Kerry Vincent, KT Oslin, Tommy Lasorda, Michael Apted, Dave Creek, Jamie O’Hara, Dr. H. Jack Geiger, William Link, Neil Shehan, Joanne Rogers, Duke Bootee, Phil Spector, Don Sutton, Siegfried, Sheldon Adelson, Larry King, Ved Mehta, Bruce Kirby, Cicely Tyson and Cloris Leachman.

[theprodigypenguin]

👀 💛💛love your writing💛💛

More Huffle-hearts, thank you Anon! This is from an incomplete Jeddy WIP that was actually supposed to be a sequel to Damages that never got far. I was going to explore more of James’ trauma and the complicated healing process people go through after a traumatic event, as well as exploring Magical Ailments and Teddy’s work as a Healer at St Mungos:

“Could I get a large pepperoni pizza with mushrooms, barbecue sauce, and chicken?”

The woman standing on the other side of the counter looked half asleep as she punched Teddy’s order into the cash register. “So the usual then.”

Teddy stared at her long enough to decide the gauges in her earlobes did not compliment her features, then blinked. “I’m sorry?”

She handed him a receipt, giving a half smile. “You’ve been coming in here at least once a week for the past couple of months and ordering the same thing each time. I’m here most times so I recognize you.” Teddy took the receipt as she propped her hands against the counter top. “Large pizza, absolutely no green peppers, extra mushrooms and more chicken than pepperoni.”

“Yeah- are you always here?” Teddy felt embarrassed, as if he was being called out for something. “I’m sorry, I guess I’m always pretty distracted when I come here. I just got off work.”

“Oh? What is it you do, Mister Lupin?”

Now Teddy just felt uneasy, the receipt crinkling between his fingers. “How… do you know my name?”

The girl pointed vaguely at the wallet in Teddy’s other hand. “You paid with a card.” Teddy felt flushed and she laughed. “It’s fine. My uncle’s name is Edward, it’s very… sophisticated.”

“I normally just go by Teddy, actually.”

“Now that I like,” the girl’s blue eyes seemed to glitter. “So what is it you do?”

“Oh, I’m a doctor. I work at a clinic.”

She seemed even more intrigued at that, going on about how she knew someone who was studying to be a doctor and “maybe you know him he goes to such and such school and interns at this hospital across town”. Teddy could only smile politely and hope he didn’t come off as disinterested or rude. He let his eyes move away from her face to check her name tag, stamping the name “Brandy” into his mind so he hopefully didn’t forget. Be nice, be nice, you’re not in a hurry.

“My clinic is private,” Teddy said, hopefully answering whatever Brandy had just asked. “Family owned, pretty small. I don’t really like the idea of working in a big hospital.”

“I totally get it.” Brandy said with a little too much enthusiasm, the cherry shaped stud on her bottom lip spun so the stems were pointed towards her chin. “I’m not one for crowds much either.”

“Large speciality pizza for Lupin!" 

Brandy stepped back to take the box from the man leaning through the window behind her, handing it to Teddy, who was staring at it.

"This is specialty?”

“It’s not on the menu so yeah, it’s considered a special order.”

“I’m sorry, I hope you didn’t go out of your way to make it. It’s just, this is his favorite-”

“Oh don’t worry about that.” Brandy didn’t seem to be listening to Teddy, waving a hand dismissively. “We don’t mind doing it for regulars.” Teddy nodded slowly and stepped back, smiling.

“Thanks.”

“Sure. Oh!” Brandy stopped Teddy before he could leave, one hand up. “Before you go, I was wondering, are you gonna be free around ten? That’s when I get off work.” Her head tilted with a smile on her lips. “We could get a drink maybe. I’d love to hear more about your work.”

A laugh that was entirely involuntary burst from Teddy’s lips, and he realized too late he must have offended her, but he couldn’t really help it. He was flattered, really, but uninterested.

“That’s sweet of you, but I’m probably going to be busy.”

“Oh, that’s fine.” Brandy still looked hopeful. “How about tomorrow? Or my next day off is Sunday. I could give you my number?”

“I’m not going to lie to you, I’m flattered really, but I actually have a boyfriend,” Teddy admitted, and Brandy’s eyes went wide. “That’s why I come here all the time, this is his favorite pizza. I’m going over to see him right now. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine, I just… you don’t look very gay to me is all, so I didn’t even realize!”

That hit Teddy somewhat wrong, and the smile on his lips became tight. “Well, I’ll wear a rainbow next time, so you know.” He turned, fingers biting into the pizza box. “Have a nice day.”

He shouldered open the door and stepped out into the chill waiting for him, using the pizza to provide a bit of warmth as he hunched forward and started across the street towards the apartment building that towered in front of him. He’d never picked up on that woman before in the months he’d been stopping at this pizza place. Whenever he came in his focus was always on the pizza and getting it as soon as possible so he could hurry across the street, he never once really looked at the cashier taking his order.

Still, it wasn’t as if that changed anything. The shyness and sensation of guilt faded almost too quickly as he hopped onto the other sidewalk. He wasn’t interested in what people thought of him, if they flirted with him or seemed interested in him. He had a boyfriend right now and all of his affections and attention were on him.

Teddy still marveled at it sometimes, as he did now when stepping into the lift and pressing the up button a few times too many, eager to get upstairs. It had been around six months since they started dating, since that day on the bridge when Teddy nearly blacked out from shock at his crushes out of the blue confession. Everything between them had been tense, uncomfortable, for a long time before then, but with their confession to each other and the official decision to try and see if they could make it work, that tension had faded away. Teddy found himself looking forward to each day with more enthusiasm than the day before. It was incredible how much this man affected him.

That wasn’t to say that everything was perfect or that they didn’t have obstacles to get through in order to stay together. Their relationship, for one thing, was still generally a secret. Neither of their family’s were aware of it, and neither were ready to reveal it. Teddy felt a little bit better about the idea, but he knew his boyfriend just wasn’t ready for it yet, and he was willing to respect that. Not to mention the other issues they had to deal with. Notably the emotional repercussions from that incident, at the bar.

Teddy pulled a keychain from his back pocket, finding the right key just as he came up on his boyfriend’s apartment. They were together maybe a month before Teddy was given a key and told to just come in whenever. There were times it was difficult, like those times Teddy found a chair blocking his entrance, the effects of a debilitating and unfortunately common anxiety attack, but he could normally move it away with a wave of his hand and a basic levitation charm. Luckily when he turned the doorknob, it opened without any restriction, and Teddy took a breath as he stepped into the flat, keys jingling in his hand as he shut and locked the door behind him.

“Jamie, you around?" 

There was a vague noise of response from the living room, no real verbal response, but James was like that sometimes. Teddy had to hold his breath as he started for the living room, always fighting his own unease when he couldn’t find James immediately. Sometimes he expected to see him asleep on the couch covered in bandages and bruising, he was terrified of it, but normally he was just being lazy. That was the case now, thankfully.

James was lying out over the couch, holding open a magazine above his face, completely distracted by whatever it was he was reading. The television was off, James was lying low enough on the cushions that he could prop his feet on the arm of the couch, Teddy could see his outgrown hair sprawled over the pillow he’d placed behind his head, there was a half empty bottle of water on the coffee table next to a familiar vial of Draught of Peace.

Teddy held his breath again, half from concern of the Draught’s appearance, half from awe because James always looked so effortlessly beautiful, even when he was lazing around on his couch in nothing but athletic wear like shorts and sleeveless jerseys.

"Comfortable?” Teddy asked as he stepped further into the living room, setting the pizza box down and eyeing the potion bottle, trying to tell through the cloudy glass if it was full or empty.

“Super comfy,” James replied, and Teddy turned his head to glance at him.

His eyes caught the way his jersey had ridden up on his stomach, and for a moment his breath punched out of his lungs as he just stared at the visible plane of James’ tanned stomach, the dips in his ribs and muscles, and the trail of hair that disappeared under the hem of James’ shorts.

Teddy jerked his head away to stare at something else as James flipped a page in his magazine, silently scolding himself as his boyfriend spoke again.

“This weekend’s magazine is just filled with feel good stories, they’ve got more products too. Look, there’s a coupon for a new weight loss potion. We’re turning into Muggles.”

“Well they’ve gotta make money somehow,” Teddy tried to argue in a somewhat weak voice, waiting as his heart rate began to settle.

James could be so vulnerable and clueless, it made Teddy feel like a predator. All he wanted to do was stare at that bit of skin, but he wasn’t sure if they were there yet in their relationship. Teddy wanted to be careful, cautious, he didn’t want to do anything that would scare James or break his trust. He’d been through enough already, had to deal with handsy drunk men who scarred him both emotionally and physically.

Teddy’s heart finally settled to a low drum as his eyes found the scar on James’ temple. Still deep in his skin, normally hidden by his hair. In the past few months it had gone from an aggressive red, to a bruised purple, to an eerie white; but it wouldn’t go away. The only physical thing left over from that night. James hated it, Teddy did his best to make him feel better, but only so much could be done to ensure James felt safe and secure. Staring at his naked stomach probably wouldn’t help.

He whispered to himself. “Don’t be an idiot.”

“Hm?” James flipped another page and Teddy stood up.

“I was asking if you planned on staying there all night, or if you were going to get up and offer your boyfriend a drink.”

“Teddy, you’re an adult, you practically live here, you know where everything is.” James folded his magazine down just enough to give Teddy a teasing smirk. “You can get your own juice box.”

Teddy propped his hand against the back of the couch and leaned low over James. “That’s true, but I just got off work and even brought pizza. Are you really gonna make me walk all the way into the kitchen when I’m so tired?” He spoke with an overly dramatic tone that had James snickering.

Teddy leaned away when James sat up and tossed the magazine onto the couch behind him. “Oh alright, you’ve worn me down. Go ahead and put your feet up and I’ll get you a non alcoholic beverage of your choice.”

“You’re an angel.” Teddy pressed his lips to James’ cheek when he was close enough, then sat down as James hopped off the couch.

“You’re right, I am.”

“Humble too,” Teddy added, watching James as he walked across the room towards the kitchen.

When he was gone, Teddy leaned forward to pick up the potion bottle, sighing in relief and setting it back down once he’d discovered it was still full. That was good, it meant James hadn’t needed it, but the fact it was out at all was a bit concerning.

“Here.” Teddy looked over to James as he walked back into the living room carrying two cans of Vimto, handing one to Teddy when he was close enough.

“Thanks. Hey, come over here.” Teddy set the soda down and leaned back as James dropped onto the couch beside him, wrapping an arm around him and dragging him close.

James looked a bit taken aback, cheeks dark, but didn’t protest and didn’t look uncomfortable, twisting around to set his own soda down before pulling his legs onto the couch and leaning into Teddy, allowing him to wrap both arms around James and hold him half on his lap with his head on Teddy’s shoulder.

These quiet moments happened more and more often since they’d started dating, beginning as uncertain touches and not knowing if it would be okay to get too close. Now James was practically on Teddy’s lap, leaning into him and seeming quite it home.

Teddy rubbed James’ shoulder, lips finding the scar on his temple. “Were you alright today?”

“Yeah, just insanely bored. I almost asked Albus over to be bored with me. Why?”

Teddy shrugged, rubbing his chin against James’ forehead, considering his words carefully as he stared at the potion bottle. If he asked the wrong way, James could get defensive.

“Maybe I just worry too much.”

James gave a hum of confusion, then must have noticed the potion still on the table, because he gave an airy laugh. “Oh.” He turned and slipped his arms up to wrap around Teddy’s neck. “I didn’t need it. I went grocery shopping, it’s where I picked up the pop. When I got home I wasn’t feeling all there so I grabbed it, but i managed to calm down without it.”

Teddy nodded, pinching the back of James’ shirt and rubbing the soft material between his fingers. “I just worry.”

“I know you do.” James framed Teddy’s face with his hands, leaning forward to bump their noses together, smiling.

[aion-rsa]

Line of Duty: Jed Mercurio ‘We Know There Are People Who Don’t Like the Show’

https://ift.tt/2RHnjDS

Warning: contains spoilers for Line of Duty series six.

When I tell Jed Mercurio that I felt bereft after the end of Line of Duty, he thanks me and jokes “Well, we do aim to leave people disappointed.” I’m talking about missing the communal viewing experience and frenzy of fan theories between episodes; he’s talking about a well-publicised outcry from some viewers that the finale’s ‘H’ mystery reveal was a let-down.     

Speaking on Zoom three weeks after Line of Duty concluded – perhaps for good – Mercurio has answered the finale’s critics his way. On Twitter, he shared Audience Appreciation Index stats on the final series – scores out of 100 compiled on behalf of the BBC Audience Research Unit and used as an indicator of how viewers felt about a particular programme. He won’t argue with subjective reactions, he says, but will confront what he describes as a misleading assumption of how widespread those reactions are. “It’s not just about the show, it’s about facts.” 

A former hospital doctor turned screenwriter, Mercurio is exacting when it comes to facts and statistics. He’s an exacting speaker all round, never stuttering, fluffing or lacking an answer, and able to call on a vocabulary that includes terms like “potentiate” and “analogous”. He’s understandably sceptical about the way some press headlines about Line of Duty are generated, and has perhaps adapted his interview style to limit the chances of misinterpretation. The overall impression given is of somebody who, in one of Line of Duty’s famous “glass box” interrogation scenes, would fare well on either side of the table.  

The finale hubbub is one story (my view: anyone who was expecting Line of Duty to deliver an upbeat ending hadn’t been paying attention) but first I want to ask Mercurio about protest. Not least in its choice of ending, series six was sounding a klaxon…

It felt like the volume of protest against laziness and venality and incompetence in high office kept getting louder and louder in series six. Is Ted Hastings’ exasperation your exasperation?

That’s a really important question, not just for me but for drama at the moment. Look at the trajectory of our country over the last few years. When you’re doing a drama that’s about institutional corruption, you have an important decision to make about whether you acknowledge that the environment has changed, or you plough on doing something that’s set in an entirely fictional, disconnected world? 

For me, I was thinking about the fact that we aired season one during the summer of the 2012 London Olympics when we were a very small, unheralded police drama buried in the BBC Two schedule. Looking back to that time, it did feel like the country was a very different place. To quote L.P. Hartley, it’s like a foreign country, how it felt then in terms of our national pride and the shared experience of positivity.

Lennie James as DCI Tony Gates in Line of Duty series one.

To quote your own words back at you then, what has happened to us? When did we stop caring about honesty and integrity? 

It’s a really hard one to answer because there’s obviously no point at which that occurred, it appears to have been a progression towards a system now where very senior politicians can visibly be corrupt – and let’s not use any other word – in a way that I think is new in this country. We’re accustomed to seeing it in other countries, we’re accustomed to seeing reports of big civil contracts being awarded in other countries and lots of money just vanishing going into the pockets of corrupt enterprises. We haven’t seen that in this country before, certainly not visibly. 

The answer to ‘when’ is hard to say, but it would appear that the pandemic has potentiated the visibility of that through very conspicuous examples, such as the awarding of PPE contracts to companies that were fast-tracked through favourable relations with the government who didn’t have experience of delivering those products. There are examples of defective products being delivered at huge cost to the public purse.

Filming on series six shut down at the start of the pandemic before restarting under Covid-safe conditions. How did the scripts change during that hiatus? You told Mary Beard that the pandemic had been included in the series in an allegorical way…

The specific answer to the question about allegory is about social distancing. It was about the practicalities of filming, so the physical distance between people. There’s more distance between the characters than the intention was. With the key personal relationships that were portrayed in the season, we did look very closely at how impractical it would be to have physical intimacy involving our main cast. That did affect some of the sequences we wanted to do and some of the personal stories we wanted to do.

Are you talking about Jo and Kate?

I’m talking about the trajectory for Steve and Steph, and Jo and Kate. Those were things that had very specific trajectories, and there were limitations on how we could approach them.

Would there have been sex scenes then, between either of those couples?

If we’d known we were able to do it, we might have had more physical intimacy, but we knew that we weren’t able to do it, so that was just something that we weren’t in a position to explore. There’s no point trying to explore something that you can’t do.

Vicky McClure and Kelly Macdonald as DI Kate Arnott and DCI Jo Davidson in series six.

What about script changes in terms of the real-world commentary layered on top of the story? Do you remember the specific circumstances of writing Ted’s line about there being a “bare-faced liar in the highest office”?

That predates the shutdown. The intention to portray the conspicuous corruption that has arrived in our society, and make specific references to individuals who hold high office, or practices that are now visible in high office, was always part of the intention. 

How about the ‘Lies Cost Lives’ series tag-line. Did that pre-date the lockdown, or did that come as a reaction to the events of the pandemic?

That came after. The process has always been that we start delivering the series before the marketing campaign starts ramping up. The initial marketing meetings with the BBC post-dated the pandemic, so that’s when we started talking about the possibility of coming up with something which was allegorical in the way that that particular tagline is. 

To give you a clear history, we shot four weeks before the shutdown, which was our unilateral pre-empted move. We shut down about a week and a half before the national lockdown, and that was because we saw that we needed to shut down because of Health and Safety. Basically, all the things that were being pointed out to the government and they didn’t act until that later date were things that we were seeing at ground level. Those four weeks related to the first couple of episodes. Then we had the shut down and the scripts were pretty much finished, the only re-writing was about creating a safer environment for the cast and crew, moving more things to exteriors and reducing physical contact between characters.

There was almost a Reithian educational motive in series six’s use of real-world corruption cases. Most viewers might be familiar with the Stephen Lawrence and Jill Dando murder cases, but names like Christopher Alder, Daniel Morgan and Daphne Caruana Galizia would be less familiar. Did you want to use the series as a platform to urge viewers to go away and read up on these cases to find out more?

I’d be very pleased if they did. In terms of how we portray police corruption, it’s hugely important to us that we find ways of relating it to the real world. Otherwise, people will claim that this corruption doesn’t exist, so to be able to identify specific real-world correlates is something that’s been very important on Line of Duty all the way through. 

With this season, what we wanted to do was show something about the shape of the careers of public officials in high office, and the fact that people can be involved in things that very clearly involve misconduct and error and negligence and yet still continue into high office. So that was why we looked at things like Alder and Lawrence, Charles De Menezes – who is obviously the Karim Ali connection. There was also a little bit of Blair Peach in the ‘Lawrence Christopher’ case with the murder weapon being lead piping. The police officers who killed Blair Peach had illegal weapons like lead piping in their lockers. And in the identity parade, they all grew beards, which is the opposite of what the identity parade did in our fictional version, where they all shaved and cut their hair. 

If you’re looking at the most conspicuous cases of real-world corruption or police failings, we did touch on the most high-profile in the last generation, with Lawrence and Savile and Dando. It’s really about reminding viewers that while Line of Duty is entirely fictional and at times lurches into a very fictional world and a very fictional portrayal of police operations, but the basic idea that corruption exists in our society is not a fiction. 

It’s kind of a riposte to [Commissioner of Police of the Metropolis] Cressida Dick’s critique of the show then? A way of saying, ‘you can’t deny corruption exists, here’s the evidence’.

Yeah, I would say that Cressida Dick’s analysis of Line of Duty is analogous to her analysis of corruption in the real world. 

Read more

TV

Line of Duty: the Best Crime Thrillers to Watch Next

By Jamie Andrew

TV

Designing Line of Duty: “Buckells’ Office Décor Reflects His Shallowness”

By Louisa Mellor

Have you read [Michael Gillard and Laurie Flynn’s] The Untouchables book about police corruption in Scotland Yard in the 1980s? Was that an inspiration for Line of Duty?

No, I haven’t read it.

How about the Daniel Morgan podcast that’s referenced in series six? Did you listen to that?

I did.

I don’t expect you’re surprised by home secretary Priti Patel delaying the release of the Daniel Morgan murder independent report?

I am surprised actually, I didn’t see that coming. Obviously in hindsight it does fit with the fact that the repeated failures to properly investigate the Daniel Morgan murder do relate to quite murky relationships involving the press and police officers.

Series six had a valedictory feel, welcoming back so many familiar faces. What explains that sense of doing a final lap, saying goodbye and tying up loose threads?

I think it was because we were looking at the H story. The fact is that it’s something that’s gathered momentum over the seasons and a lot of the things that were fed into it did relate to past characters. The most efficient and vivid way of showing that is obviously to include those characters in the present.

There were some people we didn’t see return. Though we went to HMP Brentiss, there was no sign of Thandiwe Newton’s Roz Huntley, for instance. Were there ever plans to bring back other characters?

No. We’d sometimes talk about it, but we never got to the point of actually writing a script involving past characters and then not being able to include them. 

The last time we spoke after series five, you said that “familiarity would potentially be our undoing”. I also read in an interview you gave to Mark Lawson in the Radio Times where you compared the series to an astronomical event whereby something’s gravitational force gets heavier than its mass? Has Line of Duty passed those points now?  

I think those are two separate things. The idea of familiarity just relates to the fact that if there’s a lot of Line of Duty, so a lot of episodes and it’s on every year… I’m not saying it wouldn’t be successful, but I think you would see a normalisation of the ratings. People would just know it’s out there and they wouldn’t necessarily make time to watch it. We would then migrate to being more like one of those other shows that are on umpteen seasons that do well but aren’t talked about very much. 

The Mark Lawson thing was about the Chandrasekhar Limit, which relates to stellar evolution, stars above this limit will eventually collapse under their own gravity. There’s a lot of legacy with Line of Duty, a lot of past stories and past characters, as we’ve just discussed. You could end up in a situation where there’s a lot of intricate navel gazing about the past rather than dynamic forward storytelling.

So series six could be considered either a finale, or a clearing-out of the past, ready for a fresh start?

I’d say it’s too soon. It’s too soon to draw that conclusion. It could be either of those, or it could be something different.

Martin Compston and Shalom Brune-Franklin as DI Steve Arnott and DC Chloe Bishop in series six.

It felt like this series indulged obsessive fans more than previously. A lot of that’s to do with marketing, such as the trailer treasure hunt, but even in the episodes, things like the magnetic letters in Steph Corbett’s kitchen, it felt like there was more of a game than usual being played with a particular tranche of Line of Duty viewers. 

We’ve always had an attention to detail and we try to put little Easter Eggs in. You can go back to season two when Lindsay Denton is scrolling through files of missing persons and she sees a brief glimpse of Jackie Laverty and just moves on. The balance we have to strike is rewarding the loyal fans who know the past and the Line of Duty legacy but also serving the new viewers who are watching it in the present with no pre-knowledge.

When you named the character of Chloe Bishop though, you did it in full knowledge that fans would leap to the “preposterous” conclusion – as you described it on Craig Parkinson’s BBC Sounds podcast – that she might secretly be Chloe Gates, the daughter of Tony Gates from series one?

There are some things that might lead you in that direction, but then there are very obvious markers that it’s wrong. It’s just adding to the entertainment value. One of the things that we know about the way the loyal fans respond is that they enjoy the process of analysing and discussing and re-watching. We have a lot of information telling us how re-watched Line of Duty is, so think about how to make that experience rewarding. There are plenty of dramas that don’t bear up to re-watching.

We have embraced the fact that the way that people watch TV now has changed. In the past, people just had one opportunity to watch and writers like me were often discouraged from putting too much detail in because we were warned that the audience would miss it all, whereas now, the audience has the opportunity to go back – if they care, and I’m not saying that they should. Some members of the audience care enough that they go back and re-watch and it gives them a new perspective, so being able to reward them for doing that is part of our responsibility on the show.

When we first heard the phrase ‘runs of homozygosity’ in episode four, it was there and gone. Was that one for the more obsessive fans to pick up on, before it featured in a more accessible, explained way further down the line?

Yeah. We did actually script that scene as going on to reveal what the runs of homozygosity meant. We do that a lot. We make a final decision in the edit, because you can easily take things out but it’s very hard to add them in if you decide after the event that you needed them earlier. There were some people arguing within the editorial team that we shouldn’t have mentioned the runs of homozygosity at all, but I was pleased that we went the way we did.

It gave more obsessive fans something tantalising to consider between episodes while it wouldn’t have impinged on an ordinary viewing.

Yeah, and that was the reason. Because people now have access to online searches, they can look that up straight away. Rather than being something that’s frustrating for people, those who are minded to look them up have the opportunity to do so.

Nigel Boyle as DSU Buckells in series six.

So. Jimmy Nesbitt’s got a good sense of humour then!

[Laughs] Yeah! It was great. The first conversation I had with Jimmy is ‘The whole point of this is you have to lie through your teeth and misdirect’. We thought if that picture is just someone who’s a random guy in Belfast, then the audience isn’t going to get as invested as they would be if it’s a big star. They’ll think, well of course that means that he’s H and he’s going to arrive all guns blazing. Again, it was another misdirect, built around the fact that the intention with season six was that it would be about mystery more than about the jeopardy. The audience’s investment was in the H enigma and not knowing who it was, rather like a closed circle mystery, a country house detective story, revealing who the person is in a way that was most surprising and I would argue most unexpected and subversive.

Job done. You totally got me with Buckells. All the way through I’d been telling everybody he was just a stupid pawn. I remember writing that Buckells only had half of what it takes to be a useful idiot. He wasn’t even on our list of Bent Coppers… When did you know he was the one typing those ‘Definately’ messages in series five?

That was part of our thinking all the way through. You only ever really push the button when you actually come to make sure the actor’s available and you’re going to be shooting. Steps were taken to keep that as alive as possible through season five, because we wanted to be able to point the finger credibly at other people. Going into season six, we made the decision that we were going to reveal H, and then it was a case of how do we make that the most surprising reveal? 

There were obviously two ways to go. We could have just created lots of confirmatory information so that by the time we got to it, it was inevitable that it was going to be a certain person, and then the drama would work in a different way. It wouldn’t be so much about who it is, it would be ‘Are they going to catch them?’, which was kind of what we did over two to three seasons with The Caddy. My main thinking was, it was important that we didn’t go the same way that we did with The Caddy and just do a repeat, which is, we make it pretty clear who the bad guy is, and then it’s all about the tension and jeopardy around whether they’re going to get caught or not. 

It felt that we’d succeeded so well in maintaining the H mystery that people honestly didn’t know who it was – they had lots of great theories, but nobody was ever able to produce absolutely convincing evidence for one candidate or another. So we went into six feeling that it would function more in terms of the H mystery than the jeopardy around knowing who it was.

Are you a Private Eye subscriber?

I’m not.

Have you kept up with their Remote Controller columns about Line of Duty?

I saw the last one. Someone sent me a screenshot of the last one in two halves. The first half was about references to Johnson and the government and the second half was just a load of complete nonsense about the BBC. It just made me think it’s no wonder these muppets get sued so much.

That column was irked that viewers had roundly taken Buckells to be a straight avatar for Boris Johnson, while the writer thought that your correlates were usually much more specific than that. What’s your reaction to that assumption?

I think he’s a type. Buckells is a type that you can see in a lot of institutions. The person who fails upwards. That’s something we’ve been careful to draw with Buckells all the way through his involvement with Line of Duty. Every time Buckells has to make a decision, he doesn’t make one. The characters who put their heads above the parapet and show their values and say that they are going to make a definite decision end up being diminished by it, whereas Buckells has succeeded by just avoiding taking responsibility for anything. That’s something that is clearly a problem in some of our institutions. 

The fact that Buckells leads this double life is not necessarily related to that, it’s more about the fact that we present someone whose corruption has been mistaken for incompetence, and that is something that we are seeing a lot of. As you said earlier in the interview, in terms of more direct references to senior political figures, there are others within the show. The fact that the Chief Constable makes public statements on the record which are outright lies is not what Buckells is doing.

Adrian Dunbar as Superintendent Ted Hastings in series six.

Why did CC Osborne put trackers on AC-12’s cars?

Because as Carmichael said, they don’t trust them.

It’s as simple as that.

[Laughs]

You’ve left CC Osborne as a kind of potentially… he’s like Schrodinger’s corrupt officer, he both is and isn’t bent depending on whether we observe it?

Yeah. I think that if there is more Line of Duty then clearly there’s potential there. He’s someone who retains high office who is an outright liar and has been involved in corruption in the past in terms of the Karim Ali case and the Lawrence Christopher case. Clearly there would be potential there if we wanted to explore it, but it’s too early to say whether we ever would.

Did series six leave you in any tight spots, writing-wise? By making some of those cliff-hangers as exciting as they were, did you burn any bridges?

I think that goes with the territory in Line of Duty. It’s about delivering different things at different times, so the audience doesn’t know what’s going to happen next. There are times when we do set things up and we know there’s an expectation that there’s going to be an action sequence involving lots of jeopardy and we have to deliver on that, and then there are other times where we feel that it’s too predictable and if we keep doing it, it’s going to become kind of like The A Team. You just know they’re going to get locked in a shed with a lot of equipment and then they can just work their way out of it by building an armoured personal carrier with a rocket launcher attached to the top! 

It’s about keeping the show fresh. What that does mean is you run the risk of frustrating people who have developed certain expectations about what’s going to happen next. But we’ve been doing that since series one, and some people got frustrated by that, it turned people away and they stopped watching. We understand that it’s not to everyone’s taste and they will stop watching, but what the data shows is that we must be getting something right because the viewing figures and the loyalty of the audience is pretty solid.

You obviously feel quite strongly a need to correct assumptions and misunderstandings about things like viewing figures and audience appreciation figures and so on. What drives your need to explain those things on Twitter? What kind of criticism are you unwilling to take on board?

It’s purely about facts. During the pandemic, amid the tragedy of the incompetent handling of the crisis, we also had the phenomenon of disinformation. We had mainstream media outlets platforming people who were telling outright lies about the virus. Journalists on the payroll of these organisations were lying about the pandemic. I saw how far we’d come in terms of disinformation.

Of course a person can have their own personal opinion about whether a drama worked for them, of course they can, that’s just basic common sense. But the way in which some of that argument works now is to combine that with disinformation or misinformation. Someone puts forward their opinion in a very strident way, and then they add to that misinformation or disinformation by saying ‘everybody agrees with me’. They are both strident and misinforming or disinforming. There’s nothing that I can say or do, or would want to say or do, about their stridency about their own subjective opinion, but if they’re putting forward the idea that their opinion is held by everybody, or nearly everybody, then that is manifestly untrue, and there’s data to prove it. By disclosing that data, I’m just putting it out there and saying that reasonable people will look at that data and it will give them food for thought. 

I’m not saying it will convince the hardliners, because then they’ll just come back and start arguing about statistics in a way that makes me think they weren’t really listening in GCSE Maths. That is part of the problem we have in our society. It’s like the guy on Question Time having a rant about what he earns – the guy who earned £80K a year who was just ranting that it didn’t mean he was in the top five percent of wage-earners or whatever percent it was. He just didn’t understand statistics. All he kept doing was ranting that it wasn’t true. That is something that I find frustrating.

As I said, if a person subjectively has a reaction, then of course that’s acceptable and I recognise it and I’m not going to argue with it. We know there are people who don’t like the show, because [laughs] the data tells us there are people who don’t like the show, but what is misleading is the assumption of how widespread that is, and it’s distorted by the way in which people present that information on social media. It’s not just about the show, it’s about facts.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Line of Duty Series 6 out now on digital. Series 6 DVD & Blu-ray + Line of Duty Complete Series 1 – 6 DVD Box set released 31 May.

The post Line of Duty: Jed Mercurio ‘We Know There Are People Who Don’t Like the Show’ appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2SAkkgf

[alifeiwishwasreal]

Nieces and Nephews - Fred Weasley Oneshot

Character: Fred Weasley Era: Golden Trio Era Gender: Female A/N: What? Fred didn't die at the Battle of Hogwarts. No. I'm not in denial. He definitely had a future. Yes. Yes he did.

“Fred! Y/N!” Molly rejoiced the second you stepped in the door. You hugged her and went around the family as you saw the 3 year old run towards you. “Jamie!” You yelled and scooped him up, kneeling to the ground to put him down before beginning to tickle him. “Did you think you could get away with not saying hi to your auntie?” You asked inbetween his giggles as he shook his head. “Good. Now gimme a kiss.” You said as he stood on his tiptoes to peck your cheek. He ran off and Fred slung his arm over your shoulder. “We should have James to stay more often.” You turned to him. “For the Potters purpose or for yours?” He teased, poking your side. “What, am I not allowed to want to spend quality time with my nephew?” You asked cheekily as you saw George and Angelina head over to you, her bump becoming more predominant each time you saw her. “Jesus, how far along are you now?” “7 months.” She smiled as the brothers hugged. “God, that long already?” You asked with a smile, placing your hands gently on the bump as she smiled. “You ready?” You asked and as if on cue you both jumped when the mini-Weasley kicked near your resting hand. “Well this one certainly is.” “Next great beater for Ireland they’ll be.” George claims as he comes over to hug you. “Y/N!” “Ted! Jesus, how big have you gotten?” You asked as the boy with the crooked teeth and wide grin skipped up to you. “Look what I can do!” He scrunched up his face as if concentrating really hard when his hair changed from blue to purple. “Teddy! That’s amazing, high five!” You said making the young boy smile as he slapped your palm, and you jokingly made a hurt expression as if he’d slapped too hard. “Will you tell me more stories about my Dad later?” He asked as you ruffled his hair and nodded. “Y/L/N.” “Potter.” You said, standing up and coming to hug the man. “Um, she’s a Weasley now, actually.” George announced in a sassy, playful tone as you rolled your eyes. “You’re gonna be on my team for Quidditch later right?” “Wow, and I thought you actually wanted to see me.” You said with mock hurt as Ginny came through with the bundle of blankets in her arms. “That’s not fair, I wanted first dibs of Y/N.” “Too bad.” “In that case, the twins are mine.” “You got it sissy.” George winked at her as you crossed to your sister-in-law. “How’s he doing?” You asked, looking at the little one in his mothers arms. “Still not doing full nights but he’s nowhere near as bad as James.” “Well, he’s got to live up to his grandfathers name hasn’t he?” You asked Harry as he smirked. “Can I take him off you for a while?” “Be my guest.” She said as you took a seat on the sofa, the little one cooing up at you with his big eyes. “Hi Alby. Hiya.” You said, slowly and gently as he tightly gripped your finger in his small hand, looking at up at you. You were too immersed in the child to notice when the twins were talking.

“I can see it.” George elbowed his brother. “See what?” “Just ask her, she’ll probably agree.” He asked as Fred looked back over at you and couldn’t help but imagine it. You with the same glow Angelina has, feeding and coping over your own little one, with ginger hair and your eyes, tickling them until they can’t stand and telling stories of your time at Hogwarts. “I don’t know. She’s going up in the world, we’re still so young, there’s a lot to factor in-” “You love her right?” “Obviously. I wouldn’t of married her if I didn’t.” “Exactly. Ask her, be honest, and talk about it. She spends enough time with them all, she’s bound to say yes.” “But I’m not the one that has to go through the pregnancy.” Fred mentions, George shooting off as he hears his wife’s calls from the kitchen. He comes to sit by you on the sofa where Albus is grinning with his gumless teeth as you make silly faces. “I’m surprised Ginny let go of him. She didn’t let James out of her clutches for weeks.” “First child syndrome. All the paranoia to try and get everything right and not hurt the child. It happens to all parents I guess.” You said, turning to Fred as he smiled at you. “What?” “I love you. You know that, right?” “I love you too. But I’m still gonna kick your scrawny butt in that game.” “Big words for such a little woman.”

-

The game was highly competitive. Not only was there 2 of the best Gryffindor beaters and a professional Quidditch player on one team, but the best Y/H chaser and the youngest Gryffindor seeker in over a century.

It felt like old times to you. When everyone was oblivious to the war and the only thing anyone could think about were the 3 balls floating in the sky.

Of course you were called in when Harry had almost caught the snitch but you called it a draw anyway (more for the children than your own pride. Well actually…)

“So Y/N, when are we getting a new baby Weasley?” “When Angelina’s baby is born?” You asked as more of a question as you watched Ron snigger before Hermione elbowed him. “I meant a Weasley-Y/L/N?” Bill asked, who, Fred noticed, conveniently had a grinning George next to him. You looked over to your husband who had a dumbfound look on his face and turned back to the brothers before shrugging. “When the time’s right I guess.” “Well when is the time right Y/N/N? Because Ginny’s 4 years younger than you and already on her second. You’re not gonna stay this young forever ya know.” “Charming Georgie.” Fred voiced sarcastically as you noticed everyone else paying attention to the conversation. “Well, for one, it won’t be for a while?” “Why not?” Hermione asked when you looked at everyone else, taken aback. “Well for first, we’re the ones looking after the business. Both twins can’t look after their pregnant wives and leave the business.” “But when me and Angie are up and running with the newborn-” “Hey, I never said it wasn’t possible. Just not this second.” “But soon?” George pushed as Molly chided her son. “Honestly George, give the two room to breathe. They probably haven’t even considered it yet and your throwing every question you have at them.” Both you and Fred were silently thankful for the interruption as Teddy turned to the seat next to you. “Y/N/N? How are babies made?” He asked as every grown up around the table either went beetroot red or sniggered. “When two people love each other very much, they create a special bond and doing a very special thing to make a baby.” “Like a spell?” He asked joyfully. “Umm…. not really.” “Like a potion?” “No, it’s more like a… um….. a sport.” “What type of sport?” He asked and you silently cursed the child for being so inquisitive. “It’s one only grown ups can play. You’ll learn about it when you’re older.” “How come only grown ups can play it?” “Because only we can understand it. Now c'mon, eat your greens.”

-

Jamie was watching as Arthur performed the spells on the fire, creating stories in the flames like he did when the boys were little. He was sat contently in your lap, trying to keep his eyes open but failing. You kissed his temple and gently rocked side to side as to send the young boy to sleep, his lead resting backwards against your shoulder.

You looked up at Fred, who smiled at you and the child before sitting forward. “I think it’s bedtime.” He announced and scooped James up onto his hip as you followed the two boys up the stairs, helping Freddie carefully put him into bed; both of you working in unison as you slid off his shoes and his clothes before putting him in his pyjama’s. Bringing the covers up to his chin you turned the bedside lamp on, standing from your kneeled position as Fred brought the curtains to a close.

“He’ll sleep like a log tonight.” “I’m not surprised. He’s like a firecracker.” You said lightly as George chuckled. “C'mon. Let’s allow Jamie his beauty sleep.”

-

“And then, your Dad called your Mummy crazy. But she didn’t mind because, she was a little bit. But she liked that about herself, and he wouldn’t of wanted her any other way.” “Were my mummy and daddy like you and Freddie?” He asked as you noticed the room fell silent as you kissed the head of the boy sat next to you. “No Teddy. Your parents were much cooler.” “How?” He asked, as you raked you mind for thoughts. “Well, for one, your Dad seem to have a never-ending supply of chocolate, which he would always let me steal. And you Ma could change her hair to any colour-” “Not just to purple?!” “To any colour she wanted!” You whispered down to him, the excited boy with the smile that could break the coldest of hearts. “And they could do really cool spells and everyone at school used to love your Dad. And your Ma would tell the funniest stories, while your Dad just found her silly.” “A silly-billy.” He announced proudly. “Exactly. But she was your Dad’s silly-billy, so no one else was aloud to called her that.” “Like Freddie is your silly-billy!” “Exactly!” You announced as you heard a few chuckles throughout the room. “Now I think it’s bedtime for you, my little blue-bean.” “But I’m not tired!” “You need sleep if you wanna learn how to change to your hair to all these colour, don’t you?”

He gave you a solemn look and nodded with a sulk before reaching up and kissing your cheek. “Night buddy.” “Night Ted.” “Sleep well Teddy.” “Sweet dreams.” Choruses as he took Ginny’s hand and was lead up the stairs.

“Who says you’re not the silly-billy?” “Well even the 5 year old can see that you are.”

-

You came home to your flat tired. You stood and began to fold up clothes, packing them away as you noticed your husband sat on the end of the bed, daydreaming out of the window. “Freddie?” You asked softly and his head snapped up. “Everything okay?” “Yeah… yeah, everything’s fine.” He reassured you, standing up to shut the curtains as you sat on the end of the bed, crossing your legs as he turned around. “Are you sure? You… you were just acting a bit off tonight.” You asked and he sighed. “It doesn’t matter, it’s just stupid.” “Freddie, I’m sure it’s not.” “Yes it is because all it’s going to do is make you feel pressured and stress you out-” “What is?” You asked him as he sat in front of and took your hands. “Please just trust me when I say it’s stupid.” “But it’s not if it’s bothering your Fred.” You said, putting your hands on his cheeks as he looked at you, his eyes searching you like a complex question he couldn’t answer. “Please Freddie, just talk to me.”

“……. I want a baby.” He said after a moment. “What?” “Nevermind, I told you, it’s stupid-” He said, and began climbing into bed when he heard your laughter. “That’s what you were worried to ask me? Of all things?” He turned around when you started to grin and he froze in his place. “Well, I just thought since we never really touched on it and you’d have to be the one to go through the pregnancy and like you said today the business-” “Freddie, no, no, you’ve got it all wrong.” You began to chuckle as Fred sat down opposite you. “I’ve been avoiding this conversation because I thought you didn’t want kids.” You explained to him as he felt a weight lift off his chest. “Really?” “Yeah, you numpty!” You said, lightly pushing him. “You’re one big kid yourself and I didn’t know whether you thought the responsibility would be too strenuous or you just wanted to focus on the business-” “Exactly, the business made me think we might not be able to-” “But we could.” You suggested as his face went softer. “I’m sure I can still work behind a desk pregnant. And Georgie will be back in a couple of months. We can survive it.” You suggested as he grinned and grabbing your face, pressing your lips to his in a wide smile as he drew away you looked down at you. “You do realise your the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met, right?” He said rapidly as you laughed and he pulled you back to lie on top of him. “It would be nice if it was heard more often.” “And just to clarify…. it’s a yes?” “It’s a yes.” You whispered as he gently kissed you, his arms wrapping around you before flipping you, laughing as he kisses down your neck. “Oh no, I’ll have to have more sexual intercourse with my wife. What a shame.” “Such a shame” you agreed as he pecked your lips. “It’s good job we’re good sportsman for this game that only grown ups can play.” “Piss off.”

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: March 2018

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of March 2018 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

It takes a remarkable lack of awareness to liken somebody wearing a political symbol to the Star of David, the Nazi swastika or a t-shirt bearing the image of Robert Mugabe, yet that’s exactly what FA chief Martin Glenn managed to do - almost word-for-word, in fact.

Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson issued Russia the blood-curdling threat of “Shut up and go away” - which he somehow forgot to say when accepting £30,000 to have dinner with Lubov Chernukin, the Russian banker who happens to be a member of Vladimir Putin’s inner circle.

For whatever reason, NRA TV host  Collins Iyare Idehen Jr. (otherwise known as Colion Noir) broke from the channel’s remarkable similarities to ISIS recruitment ads to mock the Parkland teens by saying that nobody would know who they were if their friends hadn’t been shot - somehow missing how that’s the fucking point as there is no reason for anyone to know the names of any of these kids or their former classmates, but rather than consider the reason why (as that would involve taking responsibility) the only thing he can do is mock, and sneer, and underline just how much of the problem the NRA have become.

Twitter user...sorry, former Twitter user MomsLuvTrump20 hit the dickhead jackpot by doctoring an image of Parkland survivor Emma Gonzalez tearing up a shooting target from a shoot with Teen Vogue so instead it showed her tearing up the US Constitution (quite poorly, it has to be said) and shared it online, not only getting tens of thousands of shares and an undercurrent of seething ignorance that someone would dare tell America that they have a gun problem, but this also led to people sending Gonzalez death threats.  Yes, death threats, to someone who all too recently survived a gun massacre - which, contrary to what Adam Baldwin thinks, is not satire.

On the subject of Photoshopped images, Newsnight editor Jess Brammar really took offence at accusations that the programme she is responsible for was responsible for manipulating images of Jeremy Corbyn in order to make him fit the narrative that he was some sort of Russian stooge, and did so by...posting an image to her Twitter account that made it even more obvious that Newsnight had Photoshopped the image of Corbyn.

Somehow forgetting to uphold the obvious lie that they are in any way left wing, CNN columnist Jeremy Bailenson came up with a quite remarkable crock of shite in an article ripped from the late 1990s where he said gamers playing first person shooters are being trained to be the next generation of mass shooters citing evidence such as...some gibberish about holding a VR controller being exactly the same as holding an AK47.

To the surprise of nobody, certifiable headcase Munroe Bergdorf didn’t last long on the LGBT advisory panel they were appointed to (while a section of the media still wrongly claim that Bergdorf was appointed as LBGT advisor), yet when stepping down from their role Bergdorf’s response was to cite racism instead of the more common diplomatic response stating their appointment had brought undue pressure upon the panel - which merely added more fuel to the fire of the Tory commentators who kept making all manner of false equivalencies between Bergdorf being appointed to an unpaid role on an independent panel to Toby Young being appointed in an official capacity worth tens of thousands of pounds a year by his mat Jo Johnson back in January.

In yet another example of the right using the “Left = Nazis” rhetoric, we had Minnesota Republican Mary Franson making a direct comparison between the March for our Lives march and the Hitler Youth - and after her making a direct comparison between the two (unsurprisingly) led to her being called out for such idiocy, she attempted to defend herself by claiming she didn’t make a direct comparison between the two nor was her intent to...and when that predictably failed, then she decided to apologise which certainly has nothing to do with her being up for reelection.

Filibustering enthusiast Philip Davies took time out from his hectic schedule of campaigning against political correctness as he refuses to treat women, ethnic minorities, homosexuals or the disabled as being equal to him to conduct himself in the most professional manner when being interviewed by Luisa Omielan - by responding to reasonable questions by hurling out insults and accusations before shoving Omielan around his office.

In response to the imminent threat of a whistleblower revealing the Vote leave campaign broke rules on electoral funding, Stephen Parkinson knew there was only one thing he could do: threaten to publicly reveal the homosexuality of the whistleblower to keep him quiet, and when that obviously didn't work he outed him anyway - which was not only sanctioned by Theresa May, but she also supported Parkinson for his gross violation of privacy, use of blackmail, and endangering the safety of the whistleblower and his family.

Let’s see if I’ve got this straight: Tommy Robinson had a camera crew waiting for him outside a random branch of McDonalds, who just so happened to be in place to film a group of “far left extremists” as they “attacked” Robinson and, more importantly, were able to film him fight them off to show who the “real” “man” is - just as I am sure there is a perfectly legitimate reason for Robinson insisting that the police shouldn’t investigate the incident or, for all his talk of him and his crew being assaulted, the paramedics being unable to find so much as a bruise on them.  I can’t think what I could possibly be implying here...

On a similar subject, we have those people wailing about “free speech!!!” at the news of Paul Golding & Jayda Fransen being jailed and, a week later, Facebook shutting down Britain First’s page.  Obviously that was what happened, and nothing to do with the pair violating the terms of their exclusion orders for the former, or spending six years violating several of Facebook’s Terms of Service (without the provider batting an eyelid, it needs to be stressed) for the latter.

On the subject of freedom of speech, Sajid Javid referred to Momentum as “neo fascists” in Parliament knowing full well that he could hide behind parliamentary privilege and not be sued for it there - but if he set foot outside and said the same thing he'd receive a solicitor’s letter within the hour.

One of the approximate 357 Liverpool FC correspondents on Sky Sports’ payroll, Jamie Carragher, showed he could handle the mildest form of criticism by...winding down the window of his car and gobbing in the general direction of somebody reminding him that his beloved Liverpool just lost a game to Man Utd from the window of his car, only to miss and instead coat the taunter’s daughter instead.  The only surprise is he didn't have seven of his mates join in, just like his ex-teammate Steven Gerrard.

Glorified talent show judge with the business acumen of a market stall trader Alan Sugar thought it was a clever idea to tweet an image suggesting that Jeremy Corbyn shares the politics of Hitler’s inner circle.  What is it with Apprentice judges showing levels of judgment and intelligence that would make calling them “halfwit” a compliment?

There’s something remarkably pathetic that it took two hacks from Murdoch’s Hate Comic, Gary O’Shea and Thea Jacobs, to write a sneering article damning “snowflake students” for suggesting that Frankenstein’s monster wasn’t the antagonist of Frankenstein but the victim.  You know who else made the same suggestion?  Mary Shelley, when she wrote the fucking book back in 1818!

In the latest example of their historic women’s division historically making history, the WWE announced a battle royale for WrestleMania 34 named after the Fabulous Moolah - only to find that quite a lot of wrestling fans are aware of Moolah’s reputation for holding back women’s wrestling in North America for the best part of four decades, not only skimming the vast chunk of her trainees’ salaries but also forcing them to pay rent at her motel if they wanted to work, and even pimping out her trainees and they were quick to let the event’s sponsors know about it.

Seemingly not learning from the last time he made a complete tit of himself (and earned a visit from Jeremy Corbyn’s solicitors in the process) Twitter troll and occasional MP Ben Bradley thought it was a good idea to pose with a pair of former Labour councillors and welcome them to the Tory party - only to be reliably informed that those councillors had been suspended and, in one case, deselected from the Labour party for making racist comments, and that them being happy to cosy up to the Tories sort of proves Momentum’s point better than anything else.

In an apparent competition to see who could act like the biggest fuckwit when discussing the same subject, the intense wave of revulsion that comes from a group of Floridian teenagers having a better grasp of what humanity involved led to Laura Ingraham taking to Twitter to mock how David Hogg got rejected by various colleges as his GPA was too low that led to various advertisers dropping Fox News like a hot, faeces-covered stone before she announced she'd be taking a week-long vacation, while the homophobic, pro-gun, child molesting racist Ted Nugent referred to the Parkland kids as “soulless” which led to...not much happening, because who has given a tuppenny fuck about Ted Nugent in the past 25 years?  Either way, still a colossal dickhead.

On that subject, I can’t help notice there’s a lot of pro-gun liars intent on regurgitating the lie that the March for our Lives kids bullied Nathan Cruz, and how the poor innocent victim Cruz fought back against these vicious bullies and we should stop persecuting him for cold-bloodedly murdering seventeen people who, by their own thick-headed excuse for an argument, weren't even the seventeen people he meant to shoot in the first place.  And that, Ted Nugent, is what a soulless person looks like - and there’s a shitload of them all over Twitter.

Be thankful for the Salisbury nerve agent attack as it gave the British media even more reasons than usual to avoid reporting how Drug Minister Victoria Atkins banned the growing of cannabis for medicinal use in the UK with one swipe of the pen - and with another granted Paul Kenward, who just so happens to be her husband, a license to grow medicinal cannabis in the UK for export abroad.

Somebody who thinks it’s a good idea to describe themselves as a “professional shitposter” Count Dankula attempted to say that he was going to jail for teaching a dog the Nazi salute, which of course Breitbart and lots of people who used this as an excuse to make completely unconnected rants about Islam jumped on immediately.  They probably should have broken with tradition and checked their facts before mouthing off, because what actually got him charged with inciting racial hatred was making comments as “Gas the Jews!” throughout the video, as if the systematic extermination of millions is the basis for some good, hearty gut laughs for all the family.

I know that he wasn't aware of the irony that he was unfolding in front of him, but watching how Cambridge Analytica CEO Alexander Nix went into detail about how the company would use hidden cameras in a ploy to honeytrap politicians while being filmed saying this by a hidden camera did almost as much damage to the firm’s image as the revelations that came out as a result of the piece.

And finally, blaming video games while an elephant with the letters N, R and A emblazoned upon it shits on the Oval Office carpet, we have Donald Trump.

[newagesispage]

                                                          FEBRUARY           2019

 PAGE  RIB

***** I am over the moon at the suggestion of a biopic of Dave Letterman starring Michael Shannon. Will somebody think about really putting this into production??? Please??

***** Criminal Minds will wrap it up after this next and 15th season. The season 14 finale on Feb.6 will have Rossi’s wedding. They will spend the last season chasing after ‘a worthy adversary’ rumored to be played by Harold Perrineau as they jump ahead in time.

***** I am so touched by shows like Grace and Frankie and Schitt’s Creek that look right past the usually discussed issues for interracial and same sex couples .  Gee, just think, it’s like we are all the same.

***** If you haven’t seen Michael Bennet and his senate floor speech about Ted Cruz, government shutdowns and Trump, run to C-span and catch it. These things make me proud to be in a DEMOCRACY!

***** Can this be true?? The constitution of Texas states that one can’t hold public office unless they believe in a supreme being??

***** Julian Castro is running for President.

***** Kamala Harris is running for President.

***** Cory Booker is running for President.

***** HGTV is apparently working on a huge publicity stunt and ratings grabber. They have purchased the home whose exterior was used in the Brady Bunch. A show will reunite the cast, bring in some famous fane and remodel the inside to look like the Brady set. At the end they may give the house away.

***** Michael Shannon and Audra McDonald will team up to revive Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune on Broadway.

***** Rashida Jones and Bill Murray will star in Sofia Coppola’s’ On the Rocks.’

***** Why isn’t extreme ironing a bigger sport by now??** And can we make Petanque a bigger thing while we’re at it?

***** Craig Ferguson is selling his LA compound.

***** China has landed on the far side of the moon!!!

***** NASA’s New Horizons has went further than anyone has gone before for our first image of Ultima Thule.

***** Kentucky has introduced a bill to ban abortion in the state.

***** Told to a reporter: “It’s your job to speak truthfully and precisely, not mine.” –Kellyanne Conway** The new book, Team of Vipers, suggests that The Conways are working in concert.  It is thought that she is valuable to Trump because she has no qualms about saying anything.

***** Super bowl LIII will host Maroon 5, Travis Scott and Big Boi. They will have no pre- concert interview. It is said that many artists turned down the gig because of the controversy. Maroon 5 has gotten some shit for performing but they caution us to just watch.** Roger Waters has asked Maroon 5 to take a knee during the show.

***** Natasha Lyonne is getting raves for her new show, Russian Doll.

***** Tom Sizemore was arrested for drug possession.

***** 6 NFL coaches were fired in one week!!!

***** Pentagon chief of staff, rear admiral Kevin Sweeney is out.

***** Rod Rosenstein is on the way out.

***** Jaymo’s, a Peoria company is suing Wendy’s over the use of their S’Awesome sauce.

***** We should enact the stop the stupidity act.

***** Why does it seem every other show on the air is sort of an entire season of a Twilight Zone episode?

***** There are more people in the Kremlin than in Washington who know what Trump said to Putin. – Tom Nichols

***** Members of congress can retire at full pay after 1 term. Children of congress members don’t have to pay back student loans. Is that true?? Can this be right??

***** Dupont is laying off workers.

***** Check out love your brain.com.

***** The Golden Globes were held and were hosted by Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh.  My best dressed was Isla Fisher, Elizabeth Moss. Danai Gurira, Julia Roberts, Carol Burnett, Emily Blunt, Lupita Nyong’o, Patricia Clarkson, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jameela Jamil, Rosamund Pike, Jim Carrey, Alison Brie, Gemma Chan and Bradley Cooper. Worst dressed goes to Rachel Weisz, Julianne Moore, Layra Dern, Anne Hathaway, Maya Rudolph, Rami Mlek, Molly Sims and Heidi Klum. I was so happy for winners like The Americans (highlight of the evening!!!), Regina King, Lady Gaga, Mahershala Ali, Patricia Clarkson, Darren Criss, Bohemian Rhapsody, Rami Malek, Olivia Colman and Green Book.  The Cecil B. DeMille award went to Jeff Bridges. The new Carol Burnett award started off with Carol herself. I was saddened that Bill Hader, Henry Winkler, Kieran Culkin, Keri Russell and Sacha Baron Cohen went home empty handed. The Fiji water girl got most of the press and gave much free advertising to her product.  Some of the stars did not like her getting in their shots to push a product without their knowledge, both a clever and sad state of affairs.

***** The Kominsky Method will be back for season 2.

***** The Sag awards had their big night and gave the lifetime achievement to Alan Alda. Winners included Emily Blunt, Darren Criss, Black Panther, Rami Malek and Glenn Close. I was especially thrilled with some love goingto Jason Bateman and Patricia Arquette. Best dressed were Amy Adams, Yara Shahidi, Brian Tyree Henry, Sydelle Noel, Eddie Griffin, Holly Taylor, Sofia Hubitz, Emma Stone, Emily Blunt, Darren Criss, Laverne Cox, Timothee Chalamet, Robin Wright, Lily Tomlin, Chadwick Boseman, Matthew Rhys, Keri Russell, and Catherine Zeta Jones. The WTF award goes to Alison Brie.

***** The Oscar race is on. Best picture could go to Blank Panther, Blackkklansman, Roma, The Favourite, Green Book, Vice, Bohemian Rhapsody and A Star is born. Black Panther also got some love for music and costume design.  Fingers crossed for Isle of Dogs in the animated category. Actor nods had a few surprises. Willem Dafoe and Rami Malek , Lady Gaga and Melissa McCarthy are up for leads and supporting mentions are for Mahershala Ali, Regina King, Adam Driver and Sam Elliott. I am so hopeful for Spike Lee and I want to hear that speech.

***** If you haven’t seen Trigger Warning with Killer Mike, you gotta check it out. He and Sarah Silverman should go on a tour of teaching acceptance for their fellow man.

***** So.. Fox news said that Ruth Bader Ginsberg was dead??

***** In sexual harassment news: Harvey Weinstein is hiring new lawyers.** Les Moonves is seeking arbitration with CBS.

***** Cher has sold her Beverly Hills cottage.

***** Cindy Crawford and Randy Gerber’s daughter, Presley was arrested for DUI.

***** CBS news has named its first female President, Susan Zirinsky.

***** What is happening to the butterflies?

***** Illinois has refused a concert permit to R Kelly and Sony has dropped him. The pressure is finally starting to pay off??

***** Get ready for biopics about Harriet Tubman, Elton John and Ted Bundy.

*****  NY mayor Bill De Blasio has given healthcare to every resident of NY city.

***** 25% of Russians do not have indoor toilets. Putin and his buddies have about $1trillion tucked away from London to Miami.

***** Days alert: I wonder if Leo’s real name ‘Matthew Cooper’ is a nod to out actor Chad Allen from Dr. Quinn??!! It is also fun to see Judith Chapman take on the role of Leo’s Mama, Diana. The pair played Mother and son previously on The Young and the Restless. Is she really Diana Colville from John’s past??** So Stefan has been played by Tyler Christopher who asked for some time off and a sub was put in place who will take over in March. Since Christopher left, he has since decided that he will leave permanently so things are up in the air. Will Stefan and Gabi hook up? Days has been renewed for season 55. HOORAY!!!! Ratings are up 4%. **Loved the line when Chloe told Rex he should wear a cup. **Leo and Xander’s playful “lust” was so sassy!!

***** Happy Valentine’s Day!

***** Steve Buscemi will play God on tv’s Miracle Workers.

***** So, the new Conan format has ups and downs. I miss the band and the desk but I am Loving the fade in and fade out at commercials. I have always hated the, “We’ll be right back “ nonsense. I was sad to lose a half hour at first but Conan and Andy do seem refreshed.

***** Still waiting for the release of Apple Seed which is written, directed and starring Michael Worth. It is one of the final films of Rance Howard who stars with his son, Clint, Adrienne Barbeau and the other Father and son team of Robby and Zephyr Benson.

***** The January Bob Segar concert in Illinois at the Peoria Civic Center is the top selling concert ever at this venue. Old rock acts take note.

***** Bob Costas is out at NBC after 40 years.

***** Trial and Error has been cancelled. BOO!!!

***** Steve Carell will star in Space Force which he is co-creating with The Office showrunner Greg Daniels.

***** Despite some people I admire that are giving Alexandria Ocasio Cortez a talking to like she’s a child, I say ‘Give ‘em Hell!’  She could well be President so fight girl!!

***** Word is that Karen Pence is now teaching at the Immanuel School in Virginia. The school refuses admission to students who participate in or condone homosexual activity. The application for the school states that misconduct includes heterosexual activity outside of marriage, homosexual activity, polygamy, transgender identity and use of pornographic websites. The application goes on to state that ‘a wife must submit to her husband’ and a pledge must be signed to that effect.

***** There is controversy over the bill to give people a day off for Election Day. Many people will still have to work, the country never completely shuts down. How many fucking times do I have to say it: VOTE BY MAIL!!!!!!!!!!!

***** So, Scary clown told us Mexico would pay for ‘the wall’. During the campaign he gave actual ideas for that like Mexico giving us a one time payout or else he would not allow Mexican immigrants to western union money back to Mexico. Another idea was that there would be a great ta on that Western union money. It does not seem like they tried any of that and just decided we would pay for the stupid ‘wall.’ How about the money he makes off Trump merch which his website and hotels still sell to pay for it?? How about the $35 million that Trump sold in real estate in 2018? The ‘Wall’ go fund me did not reach its $1billion goal so the $20 million they did collect is being offered for refunds. Some of those people still want that money to go for its purpose so Trump is creating a non- profit. Can’t we use that money to help the border patrol agents and get the backlog in immigration court moving?? That we are still talking about this ridiculous wall and that it had a go fund me page is enough to boggle the normal brain.** I think Kimmel said it best when he suggested that Trump just tell the red hats that the wall has been built.  They believe everything he says so why wouldn’t they believe that??  It would save the country a lot of headaches. ** What the Hell is with his new “wheels and walls” mantra??** Russia caused Brexit too? Putin is a menace.** Another sink hole appeared the White House. WTF?

***** The congressional budget office says the shut down cost the U.S. 11 billion

***** Trump is talking to Herman Cain about a job on the Federal Reserve Board.

***** The GOP is selling fake bricks that cost about 50 cents for $20 each to send to Senate Dems. Some have said that the Dems should sign them and sell them and give the money to government workers. ** Why are Russian jets fucking around on the North American coastline??

***** Roger Stone has been indicted on 5 counts of false statements, 1 count of obstruction and 1 count of witness tampering. The FBI officers who arrested him were part of the shut down and they still did their job!!  He publically and privately claimed to have communicated with Russia. Predictions are that many more indictments are coming down the pike that involve many familiar faces.** Roger Stone has a Nixon tattoo on his back. I feel sorry for his cell mate.-Bill Maher

***** Bill Maher got some flak for comments after Stan Lee died. He wasn’t slamming Lee, but wondered about comic book fans putting away childish things. I suppose that could include weed but point taken.

***** Jared Kushner along with 30 other White House staff was denied top secret clearance but Trump advisor Carl Kline overruled that decision and gave it to them anyway. This has never been done before, this is a job for intelligent agencies.

***** Empire star Jussie Smollett was attacked in Chicago in what cops are saying was a possible hate crime. The attackers were yelling that this was MAGA country, poured bleach on him and put a rope around his neck.  The actor was previously sent a letter full of homophobic and racist slurs which he FBI had been looking into.

***** Ellen page gave us some memorable, powerful words to chew on with her appearance on Stephen Colbert. I am sure she gave courage to many who suffer because of our hate filled administration.

***** Gwyneth Paltrow is being sued from a 2016 ski incident for 3 mil.

***** I gain more and more respect for Seth Meyers. I did not really understand the choice of him as host in the beginning. His notice of local stations, choice of guests and revolving drummers makes for a great show.

***** A Dutch company may have invented a small device that converts heat into cold and Forbes is saying, ‘it could save the planet.’

***** So looking forward to Ryan Murphy’s The Politician which will star Jessica Lange, Gwyneth Paltrow and January Jones.

***** I know that is has happened little by little and we go thru times in our history when things get worse and then things get better but… When did this country get so fucking corrupt?? I mean seriously.. Why is Brendan Dassey still in prison and why is there no real justice for Teresa Halbach? ** Why is Trump still in the White House?**Why are government workers being told to work for nothing?? Why is R Kelly still living it up?? Why are some states going backward in time when it comes to women’s health?? Why do many corporations care more about their own pockets than the children of their employees or the environment around them??** Why does our justice system so often punish big for small infractions and allow the powerful to do anything they want?? **Why is a wall a better idea than infrastructure or warm beds for the homeless or food for our children and why are so many children in cages??

***** How can it be that we are still in a world where people are not allowed to reach their full potential?? Why do so many selfish humans actually fight to live in a world where they actively hold others back? Shouldn’t we all be concerned about the greater good?  We should all be allowed to see a Doctor when we are ill. We should all be able to excel in education if we choose .We should all be able to get a job to fit our skills and work ethic.  Opportunities and the pursuit of happiness should be available to all. Why is this so fucking hard for so many to grasp in this world? Imagine!

***** Sundance premiered the new flick, Big time adolescence with Griffin Gluck and Pete Davidson. Pete has since made no bones about filming in Syracuse. He hated it.

***** Jeff Flake will join CBS news as a contributor.

***** Tom Brokaw is in a bit of trouble for saying Hispanics should work harder at assimilation.

***** The Tom Hanks/ Matthew Rhys film, A beautiful day in the neighborhood has pushed back its release date to Nov. 22.

***** People are illogical and self- centered. Love them anyway. -Hedy Lemarr

*****R.I.P. Bob Einstein, Millie Wiesehan, victims of the Torrance. Ca. bowling alley shooting, Captain Darryl Dragon, Jo Andres, Lamin Sanneh, Carol Channing, Sandra Harmon, Bradley Bolke, the victims of Mediterranean shipwreck, Lorna Doom, victims of the Florida bank shooting, Kaye Ballard, Willie York , Barbara Claman , victims of the mining dam collapse in Brazil and James Frawley.