#but tbh thats what dming is. you just lie for several hours every week

[elftwink]

Hi!! I’m trying to get into DMing and I was wondering if you could help me with were to start or if you have any tips that you’ve picked up yourself over your time asa dm? Thank you so much for your time and I hope you’re doing well!! 💙🤟

oh absolutely i love talking about dming and pretending i’m on talk shows where my methods of doing things are interesting. Also this is very long but generally speaking the main points are about communicating with players (eg making sure everyone has fun and wants to come back as priority #1), designing a session (by lying to your players and giving them to illusion of a wide sprawling world while not creating that much work for you), and the rule of cool. i’ve bolded it so it’s easier to navigate but also like. sorry i just like to talk a lot lol. anyway i hope this is helpful. 

I think when you’re just starting out the first thing on your mind should be communicating with players. Running a session 0 to lay down house rules (even if you don’t have any, you should use it to ask players what they do and don’t wanna see, to introduce their character, to make sure you know what kind of content your players will and won’t like, etc. plus, house rules are implemented to solve problems which means you will almost certainly have a house rule or two after the first few sessions), checking in with players to see that they’re still having fun (even just like, noticing if someone is bored), figuring out which players are comfortable with roleplay, etc. This is mostly learned via experience and will vary between groups so there’s not a lot of specifics other than just to stay on your toes but the two things I will say in specific is:

1) learn to recognize your own mistakes and bad calls and apologize for them asap. you’ll def make them cos everyone does and that’s just being a person making judgement calls, but it’s usually easy to resolve if you apologize and make a note for next time. 

& 2) if a player is being disruptive or annoying (breaking rules, constantly arguing your judgements, ruining roleplay, metagaming 24/7 etc), don’t be afraid to out of character be like “hey. cut that out right now”. the third time a player says they kill an npc for no reason, you don’t have to let them roll for it. you can just say “no dude if you kill all the npcs the story can’t progress and besides, i and the other players are here to play dnd.” although like, unless it’s really severe, probably just text them after the fact. it’s easier and also you don’t run the risk of embarrassing or shaming them in front of their friends, because that’s not the goal— you just want the disruptive behaviour to stop

if your whole party is being ‘disruptive’ in the same way though (eg all of them constantly start bar fights), that might just be how they want to play, in which case you may just have to adapt. if it’s really screwing up your adventure or annoying you, talk to the party, but you will generally have a much easier time designing to your players goals than you will trying to make them play to yours

the other main thing is learning to move sets. by which i mean it’s important that players aren’t railroaded and that they feel like they have a bunch of options even when they definitely don’t because listen. no one has time for that. most dms are not professionals and we don’t actually have time to account for every possible story arc that could ever happen, especially because someone will definitely come up with something you never would have thought of in a million years

instead you want to rely on false choices and moving sets. false choices are stuff like asking your players if they want to go left or right knowing that no matter which way they pick they’re going to encounter some goblins. doesn’t really matter. even if you had prepared a second encounter, they never would have seen it— they only experience a linear version of a dungeon crawl. so you only have to write a linear version. as long as they feel like they could have had a second option that they chose not to take, you’re in the clear. that being said, generally only do this with minor choices; huge choices should absolutely impact the storyline drastically. it’s just that with small things, the illusion of choice is going to work about the same and will cause you way less stress

moving sets is stuff like: you planned for the players to talk to the innkeeper and learn about the mystery. but then they don’t go to the inn. they’re not interested in the inn no matter how many hints you drop. your choices here are either drop ooc and say “look, the plot hook is in the inn” (which tbh, i’ve done, and it works if you don’t do it often and your players are willing to give you a break, but if you don’t have to do it, don’t) OR you can decide to make the vital npc a blacksmith instead, or a town guard, or whoever else the party is going to encounter in the next two minutes. playing dnd is constantly moving things around so the party encounters vital information when they decide to do whatever they want. it’s also good to keep in mind that it’s probably not on purpose, and even if your hints seem obvious to you, it’s because you read or wrote the whole adventure already. to your players, the town hall and the inn are both equally important. they have no idea you didn’t prepare anything for the town hall, and it’s your job to just pretend you knew what was going on the whole time. i have npcgenerator.com open during sessions just in case the players start talking to random people

finally i live and die by the rule of cool as much as humanly possible, and most people have said it better than me but generally speaking, coolness always supersedes rules and rolls and everything else. player wants to do some dope shit that doesn’t quite work with the spell description? just let them. you’re designing a dungeon and think of something interesting that breaks a mechanic? do it anyway. your boss was accidentally unbalanced and the fight is going to be over in 20 seconds (either by tpk or by the party wiping the board) but you know it would be much more fun to have the dramatic battle you saw in your head? lie about the rolls, the enemy’s health, its attack bonus, its abilities. player figures out the big twist like 5 sessions earlier than you planned? reward them and be ready to think on your toes. as long as you’re prioritizing the players’ fun and them thinking the session is cool, you’re probably fine

generally like, players want things to feel fair, they want it to be cool, and they want that without sacrificing the stakes and the feeling that their character could die, that they could loose horribly, because it’s the risk that makes it feel cool and like a victory. sometimes you have to manufacture that risk or mitigate it so that you preserve that feeling of fairness, and you mostly have to do it where the players can’t see. 

tl;dr i know this is a lot but generally it all comes back to having fun and remembering to work with your players, not against them. you are in charge of a lot but you’re still just another player at the table. you throw obstacles at them not to beat them, but because it’s fun to see the obstacles be overcome. players are okay with losing as long as it doesn’t feel like they’re losing just so you can win. they should feel (and it should be) that that was just the risk they took, and that they understood that risk, and that they feel like how you decided the result was fair. ik i said this already but it’s that risk that makes it fun in the first place, and sometimes to maintain that sense of risk, the players have to lose. 

anyway. i hope this was helpful, and good luck in DMing! if all else fails, you can just randomly roll some dice and try to look like you know what is going on, because that works probably way more than it should. people are already assuming you know what’s going on, so all you have to do is not correct them