#but tbh it gave me the ability to put into motion big things that I kno will make 2025 my best year yet

[rockoblanco]

im lowkey happy 2024 kinda unanimously was a horrible year for most of us 😭😭😭

[seijohsfairy]

𝙸𝙼𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙰𝙻

In where your boyfriend likes watching you get fucked, and you are a bit too late to tell him that maybe it’s a bad idea. 

.word count. 2.8k .pairing. miya atsumu x fem!reader x sakusa kiyoomi .genre. smut (m), slightly angsty

tw cuckolding, tbh incel!omi, spit play, voyeurism, masturbation, praise vs. degradation, atsumu’s fingers (yes this deserves a warning, i’m obsessed), unprotected sex, possibly cheating-ish?

.author’s note. “I absolutely don’t thirst for Atsumu or Kiyoomi, don’t know what it is but I just don’t,” I say all bright eyed, you know, like a liar. Anyway, I don’t know how this happened either but I hope you enjoy it!

+

The first time was a once-off, you’d thought. You had been clingy all day, and your boyfriend had been so tired from practice. So he asked someone to help out for you, and that’d been that. No big deal. You’d been a bit surprised that of all people, he’d asked Miya Atsumu to do the job, but considering the setter’s long fingers had soon been stuffed deep into you it didn’t occupy your thoughts much. You’d all be going your separate ways anyways, you and your boyfriend back to your apartment, and Atsumu would stay in his own little world far enough away.

So when not three days later Atsumu was seated on your couch with a brilliant smile on his face, right opposite your significant other, it’d made you a bit cautious. From as soon as he’d gotten comfortable around you, Kiyoomi had liked prodding at your boundaries. Reaching at but never past ‘em. It made intimacy fun, made your heart beat and so you’d always been pretty open with his suggestions. But this had been difficult to grasp. “I want to try something new. I think you should let him fuck you,” he’d said, and you’d been able to close your gaping mouth just long enough to catch the intrigue in Atsumu’s eyes.

“W-What? But what about you, Omi?”

“I want to watch. If you’re comfortable with that. I think you’ll like it.”

Looking back, you had liked it. It made you feel desired, hot and flushed and it didn’t hurt that compared to your boyfriend, the blond loved showering you in endless praise. Telling you how pretty you were, how sexy your sounds and how great your touch. You had liked it once and twice, and with that, had learned to like his attention too. Slight touches brushing past your hand in public just made you feel like you had a secret of you three. But maybe you should’ve talked about it with Kiyoomi more than you did. Atsumu fucked you in front of your boyfriend more than he did himself after a while, and you started missing his touch. Any time you’d initiate something, he’d tell you to shower, and by the time you came out of the hot water Atsumu would be at the door to help you out.

“Yer a bit touch starved, aren’t cha? Pretty girl,” he’d whisper, pressing kisses to your crown when drawing you close. “I’ll make ya feel good, baby.” The more Atsumu came over, the less touchy Kiyoomi grew. But in daily life, he was the same man you’d fallen in love with, which made it so much harder to complain about the strange dynamic. He wasn’t touching you, but he seemed happy to stay on the sidelines and watch. And you were getting all the sex you could ever need, even if it wasn’t with your boyfriend. Maybe you should’ve talked about it more, but you’d been thrown into the dark so suddenly that it felt easy to cling to the strong arms wrapped around you every other day.

“Keep yer eyes right here, baby girl,” the lithe voice calls, fingers under your chin and aiming your face up. Atsumu hovers over you, pressing you back into the plush of the bed with his weight supported on his forearms. He presses a few kisses to your lips, giggling when you whine at his slow movements, before he trails his fingers down your naked chest and over your nipples. He’d been at this for quite a while, and you are definitely growing more impatient by the second. When you reach up to wrap your arms around his neck with another whimper, he tutts his lips. “Shh, pretty thing. Play nice.” He flicks his finger against your pointed bud as a punishment, before continuing his slow, meticulous movements a bit longer.

But you can tell even he’s getting testy. His fingers keep going back and forth between messing with your lips, your tits and your drenched panties, as if he can’t decide which of his toys to play with first. He smacks his lips before dropping his mouth to the swell of your breasts, starting to mark you up in the places the bruises of previous nights aren’t scattered. The warmth of his mouth leaving more obnoxious blots of color. Atsumu lifts his face from your skin for long enough to settle back between your legs, rutting his hardness against you with slow drags of his hips. “Stick yer tongue out for me,” he breathes, and as soon as you do he pinches it between his fingers to tug. “I’ll get ya nice and messy for me, don’tcha worry. Would’ya like that?” With your tongue still held out of your mouth, he peers down at you with those pretty browns for an answer.

Saliva builds up in your mouth as you breathe out, humming in reply. Always concerned about your pleasure first, he rolls his hips into yours harder. “Good.” He leans down to press a kiss on your tip of your tongue, and as messy and overly intimate as it is, you’ve long grown appreciative of all of it. Even if it makes you feel dirty, you savour the feeling. You’re more than happy to take it all if that means you’re being touched. You let your eyes drop closed when he lets go of your tongue, leaving it out still. Spit’s collecting in your mouth and going down your face, and the blond grunts like it’s the best sight he’s had in a while. “Keep it out, good girl.” He leans down to you again to lick up the length of your tongue, before he sucks on the wet muscle, moaning.

While he traces your tongue with his, his hands grab at your ass to drag you into him more, and you grind back on his slow motions to the best of your ability. His hard cock pushing exactly where you need it to, though you’d love it even more if he just gave up and fucked you already. Alas. When he pulls back to let you breathe, you frown at him and try to speak without disobeying his order. You compromise by pulling your tongue back but keeping your mouth mostly open. “You’re so nasty, ‘Tsumu,” you manage to mumble, swallowing some of your spit before you make more of a mess of yourself.

Atsumu just laughs, a soft, breathy one, burying his face into your neck. “Yer one to talk. Droolin’ all over yer own face.” He presses wet kisses to the expanse of your neck in between the words, leaning up to wipe some of the spit on your chin away with a thumb. “But ya look so pretty like that, ya know I can’t help myself.” He slowly pushes your tongue back into your mouth with one finger. Then he slides his hand back down your body to rub over your covered slit and to give a mind-numbing pressure on your clit. You groan at the feeling, both at his calloused fingers being used so well and at the way your wet panties feel on your skin. He’s quick to silence your noises with a proper kiss, lazy pulls of his tongue around yours and his lips melting to you in a perfect rhythm to drive you crazy. It still surprises you, how good his is with that loud mouth of his.

A soft click sounds through the room. You don’t have to look to know that your boyfriend is freshly showered, and will take his seat in the chair positioned right next to the window soon. Atsumu doesn’t allow you to tense up though, pulling back from your body to start shimmying your panties down your thighs. “Finally. Poor thing’s been wet for fifteen minutes.” You would’ve been able to start much sooner if he hadn’t insisted on a rule that you can only have sex from the moment the spiker is in the room, and not a second earlier. Hell, you would’ve been able to start much sooner if he didn’t want to watch you get fucked more than he wants to do it himself.

Kiyoomi gives only a soft sigh in response as he plops down in the chair, springs creaking. You open your eyes and are met with Atsumu’s adoring gaze, one which he keeps as he taps the sides of your hips. “Lift ‘em, please.” He takes off your panties and tosses them at the foot of your bed, before he finally uses those pretty hands on your dripping slit, working you perfectly. He swirls around your clit for a moment, dragging two digits up and down to slick them up and you’re already so worked up from all the teasing that this makes you shudder. He always is a dream when he gets to put his hands on you. His tongue peeks out between his lips when he glances between your bodies, focussing on every twitch and tug. He’s so pretty.

You take a moment to glance away though, meeting Kiyoomi’s calculated expression. His dark hair still damp, shirtless and slouched into the red chair, he regards you. His stare is blank. You can’t remember the last time he looked at you with genuine lust, but then again, you’re not sure he ever actually did. Even so it’s been months, you can barely remember what his touch feels like. The tenseness of dredging through the thick tar of your thoughts must follow through into your body, because Atsumu looks back up at you with a slight frown on his handsome face. “You okay?” You nod right when he slips in a finger and kisses you on the temple. “Yer so tense, baby girl.” The faint kisses down your neck and collarbones feel like heaven.

He rubs his thumb over your sensitive clit as he sucks and bites at both nipples. His long fingers curl inside you just right as soon as he adds a second and a third one, stretching you out. His fingers are so thick and strong, able to hit the right spot inside you every pump. And the added feeling of his breath on your wet chest, the weight of his body on you. You whine out his name, tangling your fingers in his hair as your back curls off the mattress. Atsumu grins, even with shut eyes you can hear it in his voice and you call for him again, the coil in your belly already winding tight. “Feels good?” he asks, giggling when you nod your head up and down without thinking. Yes, yes, he feels so good. He always does.

Your legs are spread wide apart, thighs trembling the longer his brutal pace continues on your body. “Ah— ‘Tsumu, I’m close.” Beads of sweat pool under your breasts, and you open your eyes long enough to catch the look on his face. There’s nothing there but devotion to bringing you pleasure. You couldn’t believe it when he fingered you the first time, and it’s still hard to believe now. Your body shudders at the sight. His thumb gives a particularly hard few circles on your clit, making your head spin. And his other hand is pinching at your tits, using his nail to flick over the peaked knob. It’s rough, but so good. “Uh, oh- p-please Atsumu,” you ramble, “‘Tsumu, wan’ cum. Wanna cum, please. Please.”

The squelching of your sloppy pussy fills the room, as Atsumu groans. “Yeah? Yer gonna cum all over my hand, huh?” The deep tremble of his voice feels deafening, you’re so close it’s almost painful. You pull him closer, wanting to feel him, his warmth, the smoothness of his skin, anything at all—

“Let her cum on your cock,” Kiyoomi orders, drawing your attention over. He has his hand wrapped around his cock, lubed up with lotion and jerking his wrist to slide over the pretty, pink head. The time you were allowed to do it for him seems distant. At the soft moan he lets out you fight the urge to call out his name, because that too isn’t allowed anymore. Something about breaking the immersion. You can’t help but think anyone would be hurt that the sound of your voice bothers him when he’s jacking off. Maybe you just sound gross— no, Atsumu loves hearing you. He could get off on your noises alone. And turning back to find reassurance in the man nestled tight between your legs becomes easier each time it happens.

You hold the immensely frustrated pleads that work up your throat to bite your bottom lip, instead just going along with it. There was a time where you’d have pleaded to let you cum, a time where he’d have his own fingers on and in you, where your begging actually meant something. But you know by now that the more you talk back, the less Kiyoomi allows you to receive. The blond seems almost as angry at the denial of your orgasm as you are, because the slight twitch of his brow stays. But as he stills his fingers, he curls them obscenely once more and presses his lips to yours. “Sorry princess, ya heard the man.” He then pulls the digits out of you to slip them into his own mouth, cleaning your juices from them with a lewd ‘pop’. He shoves his boxers down his thick thighs to expose himself, giving himself a quick few pumps.

“Bend back yer legs for me, pretty girl. I’ll make it up to ya.” He helps you lift your knees to your chest and runs the flushed, leaking head of his cock up your slit until he’s as wet as you are. Then he presses another kiss to your parted lips, and smiles into it. He pulls back with a low whisper, slowly starting to push in as he pushes out the words. “I love stuffing this pretty cunt. It’s mine.” The stretch feels so good, so so good and he’s so warm, you mewl as he sinks into you. And as you reach one hand back up to his shoulders to steady yourself on his big cock, the other searches out his touch. His long fingers tangle easily with yours, slotting perfectly together.

“Ahgh,” you moan at his first thrust, “so full. S’big, ‘Tsumu.” He leaves kisses all over your face as you get used to the overwhelming feeling of his cock, and you glance over for just a moment to the chair. Kiyoomi is dabbing at himself with tissues. You didn’t even notice he already came. You want to feel bad, you should have noticed, you should have— But then Atsumu switches out the slow draw of his hips for a faster rhythm and you’re gone from the world. You babble out his name and cling to him as the orgasm that was so cruelly denied earlier builds back to a peak, the heat in the pit of your stomach overflowing. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, ohfuckohfuckohfuck, Atsumu!” Your legs tremble, your walls squeezing around him so hard he can barely pull himself out enough to thrust. Black and white marks the edges of your vision.

You’re still far off from the world when you feel the setter’s lips on yours, but the vague words from your side filter in not too much later. Your boyfriend clicking his tongue. “You’re such a filthy slut, cumming all over someone who’s not even your boyfriend. You just need any dick to get off, tch.” You come down after that, feeling too hot but slightly cold as well. Atsumu pulls his hips back far enough to allow you a moment more to get back to yourself, before he touches your chin to draw your face back to his.

“Can ya do another, baby? I wanna give ya another.” It’s sweet. He’s sweet. You nod. So ever so slowly he starts back up, giving your sensitive body extra attention. You bury your face into his neck as he hovers himself back over you, his chest heaving up and down from the effort. “Yer so pretty. So good, so tight for me. Always so fucking tight for me.” You plant kisses there until Atsumu starts groaning out his words, your name over and over and you forget about the stinging gaze on the both of you. Maybe you should have talked about this with Kiyoomi more. No, you definitely should have. Then you wouldn’t be falling so hard for the guy your boyfriend brings in to fuck you when he can’t be bothered.

///

in this house we love and adore the miya twins equally and i don’t take criticism. he’s a fucking treasure, i will bop you on the head if you say anything different. anyway, this was my first time writing these boyos so i hope they’re not too ooc! thank you so much for reading, you’re all beautiful humans. (๑◕ㅂ▰)

[bluemoonpunch]

*Youtuber Voice* Let's Talk... 😩

I went outside today and it was like a ~thing~ and July is a ~thing~ and the Eclipses are a ~thing~ too, so I’m going to talk about me because my Throat Chakra is fucked and one of the biggest blocks I have is that I’m afraid to talk about shit that is about ME.

Basically, I went outside, like out into the backyard, out into nature, even though it was very hot and there were bugs, and I had an accumulative epiphany about all my bullshit and why my bullshit has been so bullshitty lately. 

It has a lot to do with my strings being cut. If you’ve gotten a personal reading with me before you might have gotten a long drawn out explanation of how certain cycles of soul progression occur internally and then reflect externally, and along with that we have cycles where we are very obviously being guided by the Universe or our Guides, which is then followed by a time where the SOUL has complete and total control and you are essentially guiding yourself. That’s me right now and it’s really fucking annoying.

When you’re being guided — or ME. When I’m being guided it feels like I’m a puppet and I can literally feel those strings attached to my arms and legs, I can feel myself being pulled here and there, having things shown to me, everything is laid out. It feels like that because my Guides know what I HAVE TO DO, they know the contracts, the mission statements, the purpose, the fate, the destiny, all that shit that I can’t consciously remember and put together on my own. They pick me up and put me down in places but I still have to consciously walk in the door, take the path, say the words, meet the people, whatever. It’s a balance, but when I’m very aware that I’m being guided and it’s very obvious to me that this is going to play out exactly as I’m being shown, I trust it and I go with it.

And that is a new thing for me, tbh. It wasn’t until after my mom died that I was like, oh… that’s a thing. I knew this was going to happen because it had to happen because this is going to shoot me off into a whole new situation that I need to align with. I was really fucking scared about it, I don’t like change, I don’t like new things, I’m an asshole like that, but after a year of hell, I literally had no other choice but to trust it and fully put my faith into what I was being VERY CLEARLY guided to do. I went through all the motions, moved in with my grandparents, got a job, met all these people, worked on my anxiety, and then in a very weird and not at all my doing kind of way people started asking me for tarot readings at work. Then they suggested doing a shop, and it was one of those things that was like whispering in my ear like, “yeah, go with that, you need to do that.”

There was a whole lot of other shit happening within me intuitively, energetically, on a soul level that was really propelling that as well, but when it came down to it I was trusting myself only because I knew someone or something else beyond me had my back. I was being pushed to do certain things, and was being shown that if I did it this would happen and that would happen, and then those things would actually happen. So, in a way there’s almost that kind of curiosity on my end of treating it like an experiment where I was just like if I follow this and actually go through with all these little things with no hesitation, will I actually see the results that they are promising me? And guess what, I did. Literally down to the finest details. 

So, I have trust, and I guess even though it sounds cheesy, I have faith and a very strong belief in my ability to get the words of my Guides and move forward with them as my template or my guidelines, my map.

BUT!!!

What the fuck am I supposed to trust and have faith in when they decide to cut the strings because this phase of my ~mission~ or my ~purpose~ is over? Me??? Myself??? I??? Lol, sure, yeah, okay.

Like, no offense to me, but I fucking suck. 

I mean, I don’t suck, but like…. >.> You know…

Objectively speaking, if I were to step outside of myself and look at me, I definitely do NOT suck. Like, you guys don’t know me personally, but if you could see where I was just two years ago versus where I am right now you wouldn’t even be able to comprehend what the hell happened. It literally looks like I woke up one day and decided to change my entire life and then I just DID after years and years of not being able to do ANYTHING. From the outside looking in, I fucking rock, I’m the baddest bitch you’re ever going to come across, but from the inside, I see myself as a puppet who just lost it’s strings and is sitting there like, “Oh… I’m a real person now.”

My soul is in charge now and it’s more about what I WANT to do rather than what I HAVE to do, and I don’t know how the fuck to cope with that. I don’t think anyone does. Like, if you think about it, society and shit is really that conscious level puppet master that we all have to deal with, and even if we say we want to break away from it and be our own person, think for ourselves, fend for ourselves, be true individuals, we’d all lose our shit if we didn’t have that map, those guidelines, those milestones, those boxes, and labels. 

We can rebel against it all we want but socially and consciously, we want that shit. We really fucking want it because it gives us that feeling of being the puppet, of having those strings picking us up, feeling a bit more weightless because, in some respects, we don’t want to have to think for ourselves because then we don’t have to put the blame on ourselves when shit goes wrong. It’s society that is corrupting us, it’s our parents, it’s religion, bla bla bla, excuses excuses.

So, that’s just a thing that we have, it’s part of being human, but on SOUL level, when the strings are cut, the strings are cut. There’s not another set of strings to pick up and attach yourself to, there’s not a soul college following soul high school, it’s just you, and you’re in charge, and there are no other people, systems, or ideas outside of yourself that can dictate where you go from there, even if on a temporary basis.

And the thing is, when I see that shit for other people in personal readings, it looks amazing because I’m always shown it as them being able to do ANYTHING that they want to do and their Higher Self, their Guides, the whole fucking Universe will lay out every path they can to make sure they get what they want. It’s like a reward for doing the work that you were guided to do. You did what you HAD TO and now you get to do what you WANT TO. That’s fucking insane, that’s amazing. 

But ME — I’m just sitting here looking at all this cool stuff I have now, looking at Blue Moon Punch, looking at how I’ve changed, looking at all that I’ve done in such a short amount of time and I’m just ragging on myself like, “lol, I didn’t do this, they did it. My Guides did it. They pulled the strings. I can’t maintain this on my own. It’s just going to fall apart.”

Objectively, however, I’m like, “BITCH????? YOU did the WORK. They gave you the instruction manual but YOU did the fucking WORK.” 

And then I question the whole thing like I don’t have the manual anymore, so what? Like, I’m such shit because I disregard the fact that I don’t need a fucking manual anymore specifically because I learned already how to use these tools, how to put things together. Like, that’s the whole thing, that’s the whole reason I get to do what I WANT to do — because I CAN. Like???? Come on, ME, stop being an idiot.

Now, why is this happening? Right? That’s the whole thing that I was curious about when I went outside — Why can’t I function like this? Why am I more anxious about this, why am I so completely fucked over the idea of having to do things on my own in a sense? And really, it’s not about being on my own, because obviously, my Guides are still there, it’s just that I’m in control. I’m the authority in my own life and I’m like LOL about it.

One of the revelations that I had while sitting outside for the first time a million years was that I tend to second guess myself a lot because other people have kind of always forced me to do that in a lot of ways in a lot of different scenarios. Everything in my mind goes back to the word “Brat” because that’s what I was called whenever I ~overly expressed myself~ such as throwing tantrums or hitting people, running away, not wanting to be around people when I was really little. 

I know, ME, I know that I was always acting a fucking mess as a little kid because I was being sexually abused by three dudes in our apartment complex while also being severely bullied in school by a bunch of older kids while having no friends. I knew that but having everything I did as a cry for help (which is all a 6-year-old can do honestly) be dismissed as, “she’s just being a brat” really taught me to question my own perception of things. Like, is that kind of stuff really that bad? Am I overreacting? Am I really just being a brat? 

Learning that at a very young age around that kind of thing just built up this filter for EVERYTHING else. I was always very hyper-aware of other people, how they were looking at me, how they talked to me, and how they talked about me. I would like test the waters and mention things, see how they react, try to express myself in one way or another, but as you can imagine, I’ve always been a bit fucking weird with my talking to dead people and interest in the occult upon other things. 

So, I’m very squished inside myself, I’m very careful about what I show to people, what I say, how I say it, even with my family. ESPECIALLY with my family — they’re all Cancers and Geminis, aka Big Mouth Betty’s who love to talk to everyone about everything. 

You see, shit like that that gets pressed into your brain when you’re really young can just fester into this giant thing that touches everything that you experience in life. With the blog, I’m always afraid to be as direct and as clear as I could be specifically because I feel like I’m giving you something personal. I’m giving you my interpretation, I’m giving you my perspective, which I see as potentially being “overdramatic” or “too much” or just flat out wrong. 

I trust myself to receive the information but I don’t trust myself to express it in a way that makes everyone else happy, or that makes me look not entitled, not crazy, not a “brat”, even though that’s so far away from the point of it. 

Even though I try to keep everything objective, I still have that pride and that need to overcompensate for that insecurity that I feel towards my own validity in all areas of my life. I really can’t help but think of everything that I do as being representative of me as a whole person. Like one reading that I post on the blog defines me for that entire week in my head. That’s all I am to everyone until I post something else. All of my thoughts, words, and actions define my entire being, my entire life, moment to moment — that’s how I see it. I don’t exist anywhere else.

And that’s true for everyone, that’s why we dress up to go places and put on friendly faces and voices for a job interview, that shit matters. But for me, more personally, it almost feels dangerous to come off like “too much” because when I was little being “too much” cost me my entire childhood, my mental and physical health, and my sense of security within myself. I genuinely feel so vulnerable and so at risk every time I post something or say something, talk about anything relating to deeper shit, because I see it as a reflection of me in my entirety, and I see ME as the foundation of everything I built. 

Actually, that’s a good way to describe it. I feel like I took all the bad bits, everything I hated, and I turned it into the dirt and I built all of this stuff up on top of it. I put myself underneath all of this awesome and righteous shit, and every time I put something out, every time I say anything to anyone, I feel like I’m exposing my foundations. I feel like I’m giving you the opportunity to just start hacking away at my foundations with scrutiny and criticism, which in my mind will bring everything crumbling down. Like, in my head, one bad review on my shop is going to destroy everything and I’ll have no job and I’ll be back living in horrible conditions. Or I’ll do a predictive reading and it doesn’t turn out the way I said it would and suddenly all my validity is gone and everything else that I have put out is null and void. 

Someone sent in an ask about why I keep things so vague, and there was much more to it than that, but I was focused on that bit today while I was outside, and I was real with myself about it. I usually say that I keep things vague because I want to respect the privacy of the celebrity and idol’s that I do readings on, and that is true, but there’s some shit that I leave out specifically because it’s too specific, it’s too on the nose, and I go back to that feeling of, “well, if I’m wrong, I’m fucked.” My credibility is on the line, my foundations are at risk, red alert, shut it down. 

And when I think about it, that’s such a gross and weird manipulative tactic. Like, it’s not so dramatic where I’m literally feeding you guys bullshit, but I do hit a wall on occasion where I pull back and have to either completely remove things or paint them in a way where I pretend to be confused by it so that if I’m right, lucky me, if not, then, well, I just wasn’t seeing it right. That’s literally so fucking weird to think about, but that’s what I do. I can guarantee you, if there’s a part in a reading on the blog where I say “I don’t know how to explain it” or “This confused me,” it probably didn’t, I was just afraid of being as blatant about it because it was probably coming through really, really clearly and I was like, lol no. 

But see, in personal readings I don’t really do that because it’s one-on-one, and I don’t feel so exposed. There’s that whole aspect of consent as well where the person paid for a reading, their energy is open, I’m open, we’re exchanging information and it feels a lot more stable, and I feel like I — ME — can trust THEM to not rip me apart. Whereas doing a reading for the blog, I’m putting someone else who has not given me concent on blast to people who could rip us BOTH apart. So, there’s that weird filter that I put up and that they (the celebrity or idol) put up because we’re both going in like, lol, we’re not safe, but let's see if we can help each other out here.

Like, I’m such a sensitive bitch omg. Criticism to me is so much more than just being told that I’m wrong or that something isn’t as good as it could be, but I still don’t see it as an attack necessarily because I never feel the need to defend myself. I’ll defend myself only when it comes to someone telling me that I’m not doing the work. Like if you come at me and try to tell me I don’t spend enough time on these readings or that I don’t put any effort in or I don’t really care about it, I’ll fucking clap back so fast, like watch the fuck out. You can NOT tell me that I don’t do the work, but you absolutely could tell me that my work is shit and pointless, and I will absolutely believe you. 

Legit, I worked three weeks on those monthly readings, and I was so excited about them because it would be something really cheap that anyone could get. They were really detailed, and I used a new deck with them, and it was going to be the new THING. Like, I was really hyping myself up and I was like, yeah, this is going to be great because it’s the eclipses and everyone’s going to really get something from these, and since I’ll be making a bit of money from that I can take a break from personal readings and get things around for the blog and do some work. Like I was really out here living on cloud fucking nine with that shit, and then I LET SOMEONE tell me they weren’t worth the money and that I was a bad person for thinking I deserved to be compensated for the work that I put into those.

Like, I just LET SOMEONE tell me what was up in a matter of two minutes whereas my SOUL was telling me what’s up for three weeks prior. The second I felt like I was being called a “brat” I folded so quick, like all of that build up just went away because I LET SOMEONE put me back in that headspace.

If we really boil that down, that’s why I’m shit and that’s why I don’t think I can handle being in charge. It’s so easy to completely throw me off because in a lot of ways, I’m still stuck in the past, still insecure, still very willing to let people tell me what I am and who I am, and that’s not okay. And I know I have to process it, I have to literally dig up those foundations, get all that shit out of the soil and let it go, but I’m like so stupidly aware of my vibration and my soul progression and where I am and what I’m trying to do, that I just get so scared that if I go back to that, if I face it AGAIN, that I’m just going to get sucked in and then there’s no going back. It’s all going to crumble again and I just won’t have it in me to build it all back up on my own without the strings, without the guidance.

Like I would give anything to feel the way I felt when we were working on the Soul Body stuff for BTS and when I was really pulling together parts of the soul group. Like I was in my element then and I really felt good about what I was doing and I wasn’t so afraid to put stuff out there, but that was only because I was being guided to do so. I was in that state of pure trust in what I was being shown and it was being validated by how people started to find the blog and how everything played out with the healing, and the results of it. Like it was trust and validation back to back, non-stop, but now I’m in a phase where I have to learn to trust and validate myself on my own.

I have so many ideas and plans for BMP, all of which sprang up FROM MY FUCKING SOUL a month or so ago when I felt those strings get cut and I KNOW they are things that I WANT to do, and I feel so good about them, and the monthly readings were one of them, but I get so in my head and I get so nervous about what other people are going to think, how am I going to look, how am I going to fuck this all up? 

So, bAsICaLlY, I want to experiment again, as in doing what I did in the second half of 2018 where I completely put my faith in my Guides to guide me, but this time around really go with my soul. Like full on, whatever gives me that excited, tight chest, adrenalin kind of feeling, I’m going to do everything in my power to pursue and see it through. And since I can get in my head about shit, I’m only holding myself to it until the end of the year (and hopefully shit will have turned out well enough that I’ll just be in that headspace well into 2020 as well). 

I invite you guys to do that as well, even if it’s just a little bit. Pay attention to your SOUL. Whenever you get one of those ideas or you come across something that makes you excited. Like, just that kind of shit that makes your heart race and immediately floods your brain with inspiration and images of opportunities and abundance, and all that kind of stuff — pursue it. We, as people in society, are so quick to shut things like that down because it’s considered childish to be that excited about something, or we think of certain things as being impossible or out of reach, and just… WHY? 

When you feel shit like that, when it’s like about to all explode out of your chest, that’s your SOUL. Your SOUL is reacting to you finally, on a conscious level, catching something that it’s been throwing at you for days, weeks, months, or even years. If it feels like too much or something that you can’t do, keep in fucking mind that there’s not a damn thing that is within reach or easy to do for anyone ever. The only thing that’s really scary is the idea of doing something outside of your comfort zone, and what’s outside of your comfort zone is what’s outside of that map, it’s anything that removes your strings. 

None of us want to live with strings but sometimes it’s necessary, but when you have the opportunity to cut them off, even in one area of your life, try to embrace it. Try to move with that feeling and DO IT. Again, I’m presenting this challenge for myself only for the last 6 months of the year, and just imagine how things can change in that amount of time. In 2017, within three months alone, I went from living in a roach-infested house with no running water and not a dime to my name to living in my own apartment (which is owned by my grandparents by whatever) with a job and money coming in. Shit really can change like that overnight even if you’ve been down and low for a long, long, long time. 

Fully 100% I’m using this post as a way to kind of commit myself to this, to honoring myself and to putting my own inner guidance and awareness over external factors that may only exist in order to bring me down and stop me from moving forward. I really do want you guys to try it as well and I want you to check out the monthly readings (available here) because a lot of them did have stuff regarding changes and really stepping into your power, and I think they still stand up for what they are.

In addition to that, I have two videos here to share from Aluna Ash and Olivia of OJC Astrology. These videos both came out today and they both really resonated with me after my little outdoor escapade of self-awareness and other fuckery. I think at least one of them will hit home with every person that read this far down. 

And that’s all I guess, thanks for reading. :)

[diisenchvnted]

KIERNAN SHIPKA,  DEMIGIRL,  SHE/HER.  —  looks  like  BEATRICE “TRIXIE” BELLEROSE  is  attending  AURADON PREP  in  auradon.  they're  the  NINETEEN  year  old  child  of  THE ENCHANTRESS,  which  means  they're  from  THE ISLE.  heard  they're  ENERGETIC  &  CREATIVE,  but  can  also  be  OFFBEAT  &  NAÏVE  ;  we all have our bad days.  people  normally  associate  them  with  RED PETALS FALLING OFF A BLOOMING ROSE, A CRACKED HANDMIRROR BY YOUR BESIDE, RUBY RED LIPS AND BIG BROWN EYES, WORN STUFFED ANIMALS SALVAGED WITH A POOR SEWING JOB.  —  hylia.

                             ❛ it’s only me who wants to wrap around your dreams                                 and...  have you any dreams you’d like to sell ?? ❜                                playlist. pinterest. to listen as you read.                                tws : mental abuse ( by a parent )

so hi again i am hylia and this is Baby. idk how long this one’s gonna end up eITHER bc my allergies are kickin’ my ass today and I should be resting but I cannot stay away from this group for that long. So yes !! pls continue reading for more info abt trixie bby here. i lov her.

HISTORY

The daughter of the Enchantress - yes , the same Enchantress that turned Prince Adam into a beast - Trixie never really understood why her family was stuck on the Isle. Since of course , the Enchantress only taught Adam a lesson , yes ?? It was maybe through more harsh means than one would think , but . . . she wasn’t a bad guy.

...Right ??

All Trixie knew was that this was the life she was given , and she had to suck it up and deal with it. And never one to really sit around feeling sorry for herself , she took it. And her life was pretty normal for an Isle kid , save for her mother projecting her anger at being thrown on Isle onto her child. 

There was always a talk of showing them. Telling Trixie , One day we’ll show them what a real lesson is since they didn’t learn from last time. Excessively tutoring her in all things magic and enchanting despite the fact that powers like that actually terrified the child to her core. 

But there was always pressure - and it only increased when it was found out the Isle kids were getting a chance. In Trixie’s mind , this was a new way to explore , a new opportunity for a brand new life - UNTIL Trixie’s mother decided it would finally be able to kick their plans into motion. All of that tutoring , all of the training that made it so Trixie never had many friends , couldn’t leave the house much - it would have to pay off.

Gifted with an enchanted mirror and an enchanted rose by her mother - exact replicas to the beast’s , the Enchantress gave Trixie an ultimatum to make sure revenge was sated : give the Beast’s family the same fate he once bore ( essentially , transform them all into beasts like he used to be ) by the time the last petal falls , or be doomed to become a beast herself.

And . . . that’s where she is now. 

FACTS / CHARACTER

SO YES THAT’S IT - Trixie’s mother basically wants her to turn Belle, Adam , and their kids into beasts to get revenge or else Trixie’s gonna be the one turning into a beast if she doesn’t do it. And yes it’s fucking terrifying.

Nobody knows of this secret except for the two people involved in the deal - Trixie , and her mom. And by God Trixie does not want to do this.

And realistically , for RP purposes , I’m gonna inform you now that there is no way that the revenge is gonna be carried out. The Florians are fine. We all know she’s not gonna do it. But right now , since Trixie just got here and has that ultimatum , she doesn’t know that yet. So she’s struggling with a lose-lose situation since if she does do that , she makes herself an Auradonian criminal , and if she defies her mother and doesn’t , she becomes a beast and she has no idea how to undo a spell like that.

So yeah , just to clarify - nobody else really knows about this. Trixie keeps this deal hidden , and also hides the two items related to it in her closet ( the handmirror and rose ) so nobody finds them. Even though she routinely carries the mirror around with her and checks on the rose frequently because yes , its petals are starting to fall. 

Which brings me to my next point - Trixie has AMAZING power , and essentially , later on in her life it’s destined that she’ll become the next Enchantress. But because Trixie’s magical prowess isn’t manifesting fully yet , aka - it’s not showing on the outside , she doesn’t think she has much of a talent with it. She doesn’t know her own strength yet.

And of course , her mother knows of this. Her mother knows she’s going to excel - but there’s both difficulties in keeping that a secret and letting her become aware.

She keeps it a secret right now - it’s in an effort to keep Trixie under her thumb. But this is also proving difficult for Trixie to carry out the revenge scheme due to a lack of confidence paired with her morals.

If Trixie becomes aware of her power , then that means she’s going to find out she’s growing stronger as her mother’s magic is waning - kind of like the deal with the Supreme in American Horror Story. Trixie’s power grows stronger as her mother’s grows weaker , but that isn’t showing yet in the former of the two. 

So right now , Trixie is forcing herself to practice her magic to get stronger to appease her mother - even though honestly ?? She does not like magic. It terrifies her , and she blames her ability to use it for why her life kind of sucks right now.

To sort of make sure nobody is suspicious of her , Trixie doesn’t even tell people who her mother is. She just says her mother was a fling of Gaston’s banished to the Isle by association - that’s it.

And this is sort of how she’s managed to get a part-time job working in Ben’s castle as a maid to get close.

...Even though she really , really , really doesn’t like that.

But also !! One thing she has going for her is that despite everything - she is very outwardly FRIENDLY and optimistic - always smiley , always chatting up somebody up. This is sort of an effort to make herself feel better rather than put on a facade , since Trixie’s more keen on focusing on things that don’t make her feel sad to distract herself from the actual situation. 

“Trix you’re in denial” “I know.”

Also this sort of influence her tendency to ignore or run away from situations as much as she can bc... mood.

Acting in her own world is very normal for her - and it’s a major coping mechanism. She’s very creative , obsessed with fairytales and stories and probably knows the whole story about your parents more than you do. She in fact writes some of her own in her spare time , always keeping a journal around with her for writing when she’s bored.

Also keeps a dream journal ( mR. ELECTRICDAD SEND HIM TO THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE AND HAVE HIM EXPELLED !!11!!1!!!!!! ) bc she is big into the belief our dreams have deeper meanings n stuff

She’s not the type to shy away from stuff tho in the sense of like... conversing about very out there topics or saying weirdass things that pop into her head. Sort of seen as a little weirdo for this but it all comes for the fact that Trixie is a HUGE thinker.

Also into the supernatural even on the slightly more malevolent side just bc she finds it interesting - she’s 100% the friend that proposes u guys try and summon demons during sleepovers

My lil weird baby

Looks rly good in green and red tbh and probably owns like forty-five different shades of lipstick since coming to Auradon 

Also has a lot of rose-patterned/themed stuff just bc frankly it’s cute. 

God as a character it’s so hard to describe her like... in words this sounds so pretentious but I do so much better showing and not telling bc her character is so complex in the sense that she’s. She’s like a dream. That’s the best way I can describe her - a dream as in the random , thought-induced , fantasy-like parts of dreams rather than the romantic parts of everything.

That probably makes no sense but. Yeah.

She’s weird I love her

Probably would do well in Wonderland if she didn’t have her mother lOOMING OVER HER HEAD

WANTED CONNECTIONS / PLOTS 

OKAY SO PLSSS GIVE ME FRIENDS TRIXIE USED TO HAVE ON THE ISLE BUT SHE LOST TOUCH W/ FOR BEING SO... CLOSED IN

In general I just want friends that Trixie has that she can’t rly tell what’s going on with her. At all. And it breaks her heart bc she finally has the chance to fit in and get along with people but either way she decides to take her mother’s deal makes it so she can’t keep them.

Lots of secrets are gonna be passed about.

I’d lov her to eventually bond with sb so she can actually EXPLAIN her problem to and cry about it bc baby lowkey feels like she’s on her own in this and can’t turn to anyone for it

PPL WHO TRIXIE HELPS WITH WRITING BC SHE LOVES IT

Ppl who Trixie rly likes in any sense to point where she bases some fairytale characters in her own stories off of them

I’d also love some enemies pls gimme gimme gimme

Some ppl who suspect Trixie bc she seems so... vague. Like she’s not giving the full story.

Isle kids who know EXACTLY who Trixie’s mother is and for some reason resent her for tht bc I don’t think the Enchantress is the nicest magic user out there rn

Friendships that went sour bc Trixie’s been keeping so many SECRETS

First love who went sour for the same reasons : /

The general uhhhhh exes, crushes, that sorta stuff

Any ship that’s gonna b like a full on sHIP SHIP will have to b seen how chemistry works out !! But Trixie’s a panromantic asexual bby who I adore. 

I’d love some folks she aCCIDENTALLY exposes her magic to and they can either

A .) Blackmail her n threaten to expose her for it

or B.) Find it RLY RLY RLY cool n she just shows them a bunch of magic... trix

hahaha HAHAHAHAHA

please clap.

BT ALSO LETS DEFFO BRAINSTORM SOME !!! again i’ll be making an official connections page for her like i am w/ luke but in the meantime ! lets plot !

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Only For A Moment Ch. 12

Master List | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Summary: For most of your life you’d been able to keep your abilities a secret, that is until Hydra got wind of you. After years of being in their clutches, you break out when The Avengers expose SHIELD/Hydra. Since then, you’ve been on the run. Things are going as well as you could hope when you see a familiar face… Could the Winter Soldier really be in Bucharest too?

Warnings: Smoking (idk if anyone considers that a problem other than the obvious), mainly angsty fluff.

A/N: Look, we can all be insensitive fucks from time to time. That rings especially true when you’re dealing with your own issues. The most important thing is being able to self reflect and realize that we are focusing too hard on our own issues and trying to make things right. Supporting our fellow humans is a hard but worthy endeavor and I think that the journey to learning how to be a better partner, friend, advocate is a huge part of this story. As always I’m just immensely grateful for those of you who are reading and reaching out! Like I said before, reblogs are cool and all but tbh I just like engaging with my readers (so let’s chat) and y’all have totally done that. I love ya pumpkins! (Idk why, but this is one of my faves so far.)

Tags are open!

@bluegirlusa1 @l0kisbitch @tazzi-baby  @disagreetoagree@woodyandbuzz20-01 @mooniightbucky @soulless-and-sarcastic

Now, you want a cigarette. The last 24 hours have been far too much and you’re done. Bucky wasn’t wrong, you weren’t necessarily a habitual smoker but you were a ‘when you want one you need one’ kind of smoker. 

You walk to the newsstand across the street to snag a pack of cheap ones and a lighter. You cross back, tapping the pack against your left hand, the lighter held in your teeth. 

That first drag is almost as good as the first sip of coffee. Annoyingly you have noticed, as with drinking and caffeine, it takes so much more for it to really do anything than it used to. But the motion is still soothing in its own way. You take a long pull and look up at the blue sky puffing perfect smoke rings. 

The bell on the bookshop door tinkles and Bucky emerges. “If you’re going to tell me these will kill me I would really rather you keep it to yourself.”

“They will and I wasn’t,” he leans against the wall next to you, “I was going to ask for one.” You stare at him for a long second before proffering the pack. He takes one and before you can hand him the lighter he pulls a knock-off Zippo out and lights it. 

He drags hard, letting the smoke escape from his nose. You stare up at him and he looks down at you through the cloud, “Yes?”

“Just wondering why you gave me shit for smoking earlier, since you obviously do too,” you turn away inhaling and looking across the street. 

He snorts, twin plumes rise in your peripheral, “I gave you shit for smoking a pack a day or more when it’s clear you aren’t doing so because you need to.”

“So what you’re saying is,” you take a drag, “if I was an addict it would be fine.” 

“No,” he drops his to the ground, stamps it with his boot, and picks up the butt, all with the last vestiges of smoke curling out of his nose. He looks right at you, “But you wouldn’t be doing it for the sole purpose of hoping it would kill you.” He turns and tosses it in the nearby trash can. 

“Touche,” you tamp your cigarette against the brick wall and he gives you a half-hearted smile before heading back inside. 

Was I always this defensive? You wonder as you head to the trash can. Why does he keep asking me questions? Doesn’t he realize I don’t want to fucking remembe- Then it hits you and you grab the edge of the trash can groaning. 

You really have forgotten how to be a human. You don’t want to remember, you want to let the old versions of yourself, the battered child and the resilient woman, you want to let them both die in the pit of forgotten things and move on, void of a past. He does not. He cannot. He needs to remember, desperately needs to find that past version of himself. All his questions aren’t solely because he wants to know you, they’re also because he’s hoping you’ll ask back so he can get to know himself. 

You think back to how he lit up last night when you asked about Totonno’s, how that led him to another memory, how this morning through talking to you he remembered escorting those women to protect them. You, Y/N, are a complete and total asshole.

Back inside you smile at Mr. Goldstein and head to the storeroom. He’s sitting in his place, two more boxes on the floor back to the door. Not wanting to startle him you gently rap on the frame. “You know I heard you the moment you walked in right?” You wince a bit at his cold tone but, honestly, it’s the least you deserve. 

“How’d you know it was me?”

“The way you walk,” he sets the book he’s pulled out to the side, a collection of poetry in Romanian. 

“You couldn’t see me?”

“I could hear it,” you walk around him to reclaim your own spot, he still hasn’t looked at you, “hear how you set your foot down. You don’t put your heel down hard, mainly carry yourself forward on the balls of your feet,” he sets a book in its alphabetical pile. “Dancers and people who wear heels a lot walk like that. Good for being quiet, and moving quickly, shit if you want to have a solid footing.”

“That’s some hearing for a fragile old man,” that gets you a bemused look. “I don’t walk that way from excess heel wearing, I always hated heels, and I’m no dancer,” you start sorting your own box, handing him an author beginning in B. “I got used to sneaking around a lot as a kid and I guess it just stuck.”

“Why?” He asks this like he doesn’t expect an answer. 

“Mom had a series of assholes for boyfriends.” He looks at you, brows knitted. You shrug. “So, I learned to be quiet. I couldn’t always just float.”

“I figured.” You cock your head, “I just… I thought… they gave you this-“

“No,” you hover a book from the top of your box to your hands. “This has always been mine.” You spin the thick volume on your upturned palm. “It’s why they wanted me.” It falters and falls, “But they did make it… stronger? Or maybe just pushed me to use it more. Either way, I used to just be able to move medium-sized objects or use it to help move big ones. Came in handy moving a couch to a 4th-floor walk up.”

He snickers, “I bet.” The silence hangs. 

“So, do you have a favorite Shakespeare piece?” He looks at you hard for a second and you smile, Please just know I’m sorry, I’m so tired of saying it.

“I don’t think so,” he blankly studies the cover of a book. “I don’t remember reading many of his plays, I did take a girl to see one about this woman who was,” his eyes squint into the middle distance, reaching for that memory. “A harlot? No…”

“Taming of The Shrew?” 

“That’s it!” He pulls a little notepad from his back pocket and jots it down, you can’t help but smile. “I liked it.”

“I like that one too.”

“I thought you were a tragedies girl.”

You laugh, “Yeah but 10 Things I Hate About You is hands down my favorite romcom.” 

“What?” 

“Romcom. Romantic comedy.” He still looks confused. “Oh! It’s a movie, based on the play but set in a high school in the 90’s. I kind of hate most romance flicks but that one is an exception.” You realize he probably hasn’t seen many movies.

“I’ll have to watch that.”

“You should,” he hands you a stack of books for your piles, “It’s silly but good.”

He chuckles, “I like silly.”

“Yeah?”

“St- a friend and I would always go see Chaplin or the Marx brothers, stuff like that. We’d go to see pictures all the time, even if we had to sneak in,” he’s wearing that sad smile. He almost said a name, you aren’t sure if he’s worried it’s the wrong name or if he doesn’t want to share it… He laughs, eyes glassy, “Got caught sneaking into Duck Soup, we were 16 I think. We ran but he, my friend, fell behind, he had trouble breathing, so I had him get on my back,” his eyes crinkle. “God, we must have looked so ridiculous.” 

“Did you get away?”

There’s that incredible smile. “We did. By hiding in a dumpster,” he shakes his head, “that was Steve’s-“ he comes up short smile vanishing, takes a shaky breath, “his idea.”

You smile, “Clever.”

“He always was.” He’s so far away. “And so goddamn stubborn.” He’d said you had reminded him of someone when you were pitted against one another at the facility. You’re scared to ask but you swallow hard and go for it.

“This friend, was he the one I reminded you of? When… when we…” He looks at you, smile so tender it makes your chest contract. 

“Yeah,” his voice cracks a little and he clears his throat looking away. “He was… my best friend, my… family.” His left hand seizes into a fist, the metal whirrs in the silence and the glove strains to contain it’s secret. You reach over and lay a hand over the hard metal aching for his loss, too close to your own. 

He jerks his hand back and for a moment you’re a little hurt, then you see Mr. Goldstein approaching. “You kids are making good progress.” 

“Yessir,” Bucky responds, no sign of the previous emotions in his tone. He stands, grabbing his stacks. “Once we’ve finished these that’ll make six boxes.”

“Fantastic!” Mr. Goldstein claps his hands. Victor, the cat, lazily strolls in and rubs his face on Bucky’s legs. “Victor seems to approve too. I should have known you were good boys when he took to you, cats have a sense about people you know?”

You look at Victor, contentedly winding around Bucky’s feet, purring, “Yeah, they do.”

Mr. Goldstein nods. “Well once you two are done with those I’m closing up. Have afternoon Shabbat. Don’t forget to pick your books.” He turns and hobbles back to his perch in the front. 

Victor is still making his circuit around Bucky. He sets one handful of books on the desk and bends down to scratch the cat's ears. “I think your senses may be a little busted, bud,” he whispers. Victor only purrs louder. 

“Nope,” he looks up at you somewhat surprised, “Victor’s senses are just fine.”

[deuce-duce]

Courage To Grow

Before I continue forward small disclaimer. Lol! During these activities I will be going over I’m usually listening to music. Music helps me maintain the mood and vibration that I have achieved through resetting and feeding my mood!

Picking up somewhere, where I left off, begins with feeding my mood by feeding my mind. For my mood essentially dictates my productivity tactfulness and my ability to absorb new information and skills so that they might benefit me when the right situation arises.

When I am in a bad mood I’m unreceptive, nothing flows and Murphy’s Law begins to take full affect (anything that can go wrong, will go wrong)!! Things escalate, much quicker and always seem harder or more complicated then they need to be.

If my mood regulates what Im able to accomplish, then I better learn how to regulate my mood!! There are many different ways to enhance your mood and overall well-being, which I’ll discuss later. Right now I just want to explain how I get myself out of bed everyday with tenacity and a positive outlook to keep fighting the good fight!

Before I jump into that I have to explain a little... re.... wi....nd....!! To the 28th of January 2021.

So I really wanted to write on the 28th... I had it all planned out and really thought I would be able to pull it off. Unfortunately all the things I had grown accustomed to remaining the same and being unchanging i.e. the little things, were suddenly causing me discourse. I won’t bore you with the specifics, in reality the people involved don’t deserve the time attention or energy. Let’s just say I was In a place I’m not in very often because of how it makes me feel. Amidst the noise and haste I was still able to get done a couple of the things I needed to, laundry & a couple other things for work.

Off to work I went!! Frustrated and irritated... UGH.... shortly after embarking on my commute to work I was about to enter the park, then right in front of me were two pairs of birds soaring through the sky. These birds stayed in their pairs but would separate from the group and then reconvene. Immediately I completely forgot about the irritation and frustration and was ear to ear hahaha even after the birds were out of sight I couldn’t stop smiling! I think this was my sign that what I have been telling you is correct! For it really is the little things, the silver linings that really make the cloudy days worth living! It also gave testimony to even though my life has been really hard it truly is SO.... Beautiful!!

After a hellacious day at work LOL (really wasn’t that bad) I was walking home and as I cut through the park like any other day I crossed the Good Bridge and then the other as I was crossing I was looking down and realized that the ground and the water were glowing almost! I stopped dead in my tracks looked up and was confronted with the bright beams of January’s full moon! Dubbed the Wolf Moon. Now although this next part is just a coincidence, Metamorphosis was playing and the last verse had just started... I’m sure you know what happened next... I turned on my camera and took pictures!! Lol when my camera came on the music turned off I was like awe.... in disappointment but then all I could hear was the rushing sound of the river and felt at peace within myself! It was really cool! after I finished taking pics and continued walking I couldn’t stop looking at the 🌝 and then the clouds blew in front of it and it was gone... hmm.... maybe there really is a Man on the Moon...! The other strange part about this coincidence was it was literally in the same place I saw the 4 birds soaring earlier that day.

When things like this occur I never really quite know how to explain em. I feel crazy right now explaining this to you and what happened because of how far fetched it sounds and I definitely could be compounding events associating meaning with events that aren’t even meaningful. But being aware of synchronicities and patterns is the key to hearing that which is never said... “ohhhh 💩 did he just say he hears things that aren’t said... like hears voices...??? CRAY!!” But then again your opinion doesn’t matter this is my story and this is what happened to me. I think it’s cool and crazy tbh but definitely worth it for me to share. Once again I’ll reiterate the song Be Aware by SOJA. I could also go into telling you how powerful the moon is and how it affects our planet and population but I’ll let you ✔️that out on your own. Once again it’s the little things that really are the big things... sometimes we’re too concerned with things that maybe we shouldn’t let consume us that we miss on that which is going on around us. #stayinginthemoment

The 29th was a day spent enjoying all the things I like doing. I had a day off so I spent it listening to some new music sleeping... I even spent some time in the gym. Thought about writing on both the 29th and 30th but just wasn’t feeling it... and if you haven’t grasped it yet I’m definitely hooked on a feeling... it was also important for me to pay homage to modern day Kings. ❤️✊!! Then the 31st rolled around I worked something like 13 hrs and really didn’t think I would be putting my best foot forward if I did... and so I wait! Besides what better day to write then 02-01 of 2021 unfortunately they are coming at me like machine guns and couldn’t pull it off! But hey there’s always today and really it couldn’t be more fitting 2-2 is always a great day to drop. So before I go any further I just would like to say... thank You for without you there would be no me no 2-2 so I will salute you and bid you adooo all in one motion, Cheerio!!

Alright enough 🤡’in around... back to moods. As I’ve started discovering and uncovering that which keeps me in a state of tranquility, promoting spiritual growth and elevation of my consciousness I have changed a lot of what I follow on the Gram. Of course I still follow a lot of scantily clad lasses for I am a man... I just decided I should follow more of what makes my soul smile as well. To me that’s many different kinds of art; fashion, jewelry, photography, music, nature, awakening as well as different opinions and perspectives. Why?!?! Even though I might not agree or resonate with another’s opinion or perspective it’s still good to know. My English teacher would always drive home the point of the more ya know... the more ya know... I thought it was just so you could be a well refined individual but there’s more to it then that by increasing your knowledge you begin cultivating that which is called an open mind. Which could also be the opening of your 3rd eye. But we will discuss that after I explain how I get myself out of bed each day with tenacity and and a positive mindset to take on the day and continue fighting the good fight!

Why the Gram??? There’s so much free thought on there that you literally could jump down rabbit hole after rabbit hole increasing your knowledge, know how and giving you subjects and skills to research on your own. Sometimes I watch movies by accident and then it’s almost like I was meant to watch that movie at that time... it’s crazy (Avengers End Game) 😭😭 so if a movie is calling out for u to watch it you probably should. 2 things I can’t stress enough!! Learn about that which speaks to you and moves you not someone else for your individuality is the most valuable thing you will ever have in your life. Is it good to learn about things others know YES! But if you realize that it’s not providing you with anything and your just not feeling it... then... just let it go keep what you have learned but don’t put a lot of effort into it. Focus on what moves you. Stress point 2 when learning something new there are going to be things your not going to understand anytime that happens to me I open up a browser and figure out what is being discusssd or described. So that I have a better understanding of something. If you need to you can always ask someone as well but if it doesn’t make sense and doesn’t add up keep doing your own research!! I guess there are three points to make 3rd is question Everything!! Literally everything, when something is off or doesn’t sit right with you there is usually a reason. I realize this is a lot to throw at you all at once but this is what I notice in myself and what i do so hopefully something can benefit you.

When learning new things, it at times can be discouraging maintaining the information what I have done that works for me is associating what I’m learning with something I already know. For instance I have a really hard time remembering peoples names so I’m working on associating peoples names with people I already know. Start with small stuff that’s easy to remember and gradually build because although things are different and may seem complex the fundamental components and principles involved apply to most things. Once you figure those things out!! You’ll be boooommmmiiiinnnn! Because you’ll be able to apply what you already know to what your learning... snowballs after that!

After I hit my ceiling in new information I just stop we all have our moments where we’re just like ugh!! That’s enough!! causing me to get my rear in gear!! Now that I’m out of bed it’s time to use what I have learned maybe not that day but I try to practice putting the things that I have resonated and agreed with into action. This solidifies what I have learned and opens my mind for more information. When I do this, it is what exponentially feeds my mood for that day and the next!! For it reassures me that I am capable and worthy! Giving me the confindence in myself to do it again the next day, boosting my confindence skills and the feeling that I can believe in myself once again!!

The one thing that I had to learn while going through this process was to be gentle on myself. Before I would get angry anytime I didn’t understand something. I would curse myself saying your so... stupid!! I realize now that was only causing me to lower my vibrational frequency making it even harder for me to learn anything new or... remember and use that which I already knew. So be gentle with yourself... you owe it to yourself and your worth it!

I’ll end with something I have kind of always known but choose not to practice. The most important thing you can do every morning is hydrate hydrate hydrate!!!! Then moderately caffeinate. I’ll explain why this is important on my next post. I can’t tell you when ... that will be... I’m going to plan for tomorrow but as we know... things don’t always go as planned

Have a great day everyone

🦅🌝

Songs for today

Courage to Grow ~ Revolution

My Life Alone ~ SOJA

Being Me ~ Jack and The Weatherman

[commaeleons]

The ramble about bird!Dirk’s wings in The Price for Fire that literally no one asked for

but i'm up hours before my alarm and i’m having Feelings(TM), so here have some word vomit anyway sorry if i make you cry

So okay let’s talk about anatomy and motion and flight and how this all plays into Dirk’s narrative arc.

I mention in...chapter 4, I think? that despite having these massive wings strapped to his back, Dirk can’t fly. And okay the real reason behind that is that frankly I didn’t want to deal with the complications that allowing him to travel in three dimensions like that would involve, but as is so often the case, that gave me the opportunity to do some interesting things with him.

So, first of all: The in-universe reasons why Dirk can’t fly.

Reason number one: He doesn’t have a keel bone. Birds’ sternums are shaped very very differently from humans’ in order to support the flight muscles across their chests. Without that, Dirk’s muscular structure is literally incapable of flapping his wings strongly enough to carry his weight. Whenever Dirk does flap his wings, it’s as a slight boost to his jumps, usually to get him up to the lower branches of the trees.

(Note also that Dirk does not have hollow bones--except possibly in his wings; i haven’t decided--so he weighs substantially more than a bird of his size would. This is reason number two.)

Reason number three: Dirk’s skeletal structure severely limits his range of motion in his arms and wings. A bird’s wings emerge from the torso at the shoulder, and they have a fairly similar range of motion from that joint. Dirk’s, however, come out of his back. I have admittedly fudged this a few times already for dramatic effect (blah blah if he rolls his shoulders forwards in a certain way it opens up room on his back for the wing joints to move more freely but it’s not very comfortable so he doesn’t do it often i can make excuses all day), but at least in theory, he shouldn’t be able to bring his wings forward much past his ribs because the connection to his torso literally doesn’t work that way. When Dirk’s wings are relaxed, they don’t go sideways, they go backwards. (at an angle, but still.)

Then there’s the trouble with having too many limbs in a space that’s not really designed for it. I’m hand-waving the details here because tbh life’s too short to go on a dissertation about how the bones would articulate, but what I imagine is that Dirk has a second set of shoulder blades that support the wings, and his two sets of shoulder blades interfere with each other. So, in addition to not being able to stretch his wings forward, Dirk also can’t roll his arms back. Very much limited range of motion.

What this all means for Dirk

Basically, that his life sucks. He can’t use his wings to fly, they fuck with his ability to move his arms, they’re fucking heavy (there’s a reason Dirk usually keeps them folded up tight; the closer he keeps them to his center of gravity, the easier it is to support their weight), and oh yeah if he falls into a body of water they’ll get waterlogged and possibly drown him. (Most birds have oil glands, and they spread the oil over their wings while preening to waterproof them. The birds that don’t generally have specialized feathers that disintegrate into a powder that does the same job. Dirk has neither of these.)

On top of that, they’re really unwieldy and actually put him at a significant disadvantage if he needs to physically defend himself. Sure, he can try to use them to bat at whoever he’s fighting (like swans do), but again: He doesn’t have the muscular system that would give him real power behind those kinds of hits. Frankly, he’s much better off using his talons. But at that point, the wings are basically just huge weights that can easily be used against him because, like, if you’re trying to take Dirk down, all you have to do is grab hold of one of his wings and twist, and down he goes. Pin him on his front, and he can’t even use his talons. Game over.

And Dirk is very aware of this. It’s one of the many reasons he was so wary to interact with Jake when they first met. Like, Dirk was absolutely stalking Jake every day that he went out there, sizing him up and desperately hoping that Jake wouldn’t come back the next day. He only made his presence known when he determined that Jake was just not going to give this up and might, in fact, escalate if Dirk didn’t put an end to it. Coming down out of the tree at the end of that conversation was already a huge risk for Dirk, but he decided that if push came to shove, he could flare his wings, flash his talons, and startle Jake enough to get the space he would need to escape. (Dirk is very much flight over fight in this ‘verse. He’s not interested in taking down his opponent; he just needs to get away.)

How this plays into his narrative arc (aka that’s a hell of a symbolism no one thought was a symbolism but damn if it didn’t just get symbolized so nice job)

(okay so before i go into this section i need to admit that most of this was not stuff that i consciously planned for when i set out, but fuck it sure turned out this way and i love it)

So we’ve got Dirk with his big pretty wings and his tragic fucking past, and guys. Guys. It is the height of poetic irony.

Because wings are so often a symbol of freedom, but in Dirk’s case, they are very much the opposite. Even beyond the fact that he can’t fly, they literally limit his range of motion (anatomically) and his freedom to travel (because those wings are hella distinctive, and it would be all too easy for his past to catch up to him). They limit him immensely in so many ways.

Dirk sees his wings as ornamental, functionally worse-than-useless lies. And he’s not wrong.

One of the themes I play with in The Price for Fire (and for Dirk, especially), is that of deceptive appearances. We’ve got his “cozy cave” which turns out to be a sort of self-made prison; we’ve got this fantastical bird boy who turns out to be pretty much mundane, aside from his backstory and truly impressive anxiety; we’ve got those ember-bright eyes which turn out to be a subtle dig at humanity (“the price for fire,” indeed: you can have your fire, but it comes with the rest of this package); we’ve got his whole backstory where a blessing turned out to be a curse; we’ve got that beautifully decorated jar, which turns out to be...well, you get the point.

And we’ve got these gorgeous wings that make him feel ugly and trapped.

And Dirk doesn’t--can’t--take care of them like he should, because he was never meant to be able to. He was meant to be a disposable plot device; used and then tossed out. (How many other myths do you know of where the big P plays a role?) But his story doesn’t end there, and he has to struggle to find a reason to love himself now that the one that was given to him is gone--now that the one that was given to him turned out to be a venomous snake that poisoned everything about him that he thought could be good.

But he’s still carrying the weight of that disregard and that lack of care/love literally on his back, and it weighs him down. Disillusioned, he’s so cynical when this beacon of hope appears in his life and tries to convince him that there is something in him worth loving, that he can reclaim his beauty, his body, his life, his story and make it what he wants. And he wants to believe that’s true, but he’s spent so long knowing down to the core of him that he was made to be a trick, a trap, and it’s so hard to trust in anything when you can’t even trust yourself.

But he’ll get there.

And maybe he’ll even find a little bit of freedom.

i just fucking love this sad sad bird boy okay T_T

[vita-e]

My MPHFPC Movie Notes

Love the opening credits, fits spirit and theme of the book

(music in general is good)

Hate the different opening line – rather generic imo.

Asa please I know you’re a good actor. Please stop being so flat.

“Jake”

This all feels rushed.

Grandpa has lost his marbles and his acting ability.

“That guy gave me the heebie-jeebies” is all you have to say after nearly hitting a man?

“Jake” was in the house for only 10 seconds, didn’t even bother checking the whole house.

This opening is so boring that my foot fell asleep.

Was this the first take? There’s little to no emotion.

Grandpa Portman doesn’t sound like he’s dying. At all.

1943?! What’s the point of changing the date?!

Also, what’s the point of changing his last words which were a lot more mysterious?

C’mon dude, your grandpa just died! Show some emotion!!

Why do the hollows look like Slenderman rip-offs?

Dr. Golan’s a woman? I’m fine with this – but I won’t be later.

“A month ago,”? Wasn’t it more than a few months until he finally sought help? (I haven’t read the book in a while)

Asa is still a bit flat but he’s doing better in these scenes.

Tiny Jacob is super cute!

His acting is bad, though. This is a given for child actors.

The dad is an ornithologist. He wouldn’t change a bird documentary to a football game (although that was a bit funny.)

Why does Miss Peregrine look so young? In the book, she looks more like a mother waiting for her children to give her some goddamn grandkids.

Bronwyn is 9 now I guess.

Hugh is 11 now I guess.

“Where’s Emma? She could float.” SHE COULD NOT.

Grandpa Portman sounds more English than Polish. Throwing in a Polish nickname doesn’t convince me that he’s Polish.

“Little tiger”? He called him “Yakob.”

“No eyes,” in the book, Jacob tells a sketch artist that they have 2 like a normal mammal. This may be personal taste, but for me, monsters are scarier when they look more human.

Kids this age wouldn’t laugh! They’d see the picture of Millard and go “Holy shit! He’s invisible!” Kids are gullible, dammit. (I had this problem with the book as well.)

Funny how younger!Jacob dresses exactly like Asa.

Damn, kid, he said he didn’t want to talk about it! Chill!

Still 0 emotion, I guess.

“He was a wonderful grandpa, but not… such a great dad, you know?” Damn, that hits home for me – but doesn’t this talk happen later in the book? Like, this talk happens at the island.

Wait, the scene just ends there? No argument? Damn, Jake just doesn’t care that his dad is smack talking his idol.

JESUS fuckin’ twins.

Jacob’s cousins were brats and I believe teenagers as well, so why are they perfect lil’ angel twins that look 10 at the oldest?

Also, why is Jacob’s house so small? His mom is an heiress to a Wal-Mart type store-chain.

Cairnholm is apparently popular enough to warrant postcards.

And popular enough to warrant a spot in a travel book, wtf? It’s not even big enough to be seen on a map.

The dad looking at Jake like he’s crazy gives me life lmfao.

Cairnholm is 100% my aesthetic.

Where’s Kev???

What? But… Uncle Oggie is a relative of Martin?

Didn’t imagine Kev looking like that but okay.

Franklin is me trying to make friends tbh.

I’m so glad Worm and M.C. Dirty D made it in.

Aren’t the residents like… a bit afraid of the home themselves?

Aesthetic™

Wait, what? Oggie can see? He looks blind.

1943? At that point, Germany was taking a more defensive stance, doing lots of evacuating.

“And they were lovely, too.” In the book, Uncle Oggie claims they were strange and rarely spoke.

“3 months later”? He left the day after the loop was created!

Is that the dart competition I keep seeing on Vine?

Wait, why is Enoch there? I know they fucked with his character a lot but he probably joined after the loop was created since he’s from an older loop, otherwise he’d age forward ~30-40 years – so why is he next to (who I presume is) Abe, who left after the loop was made? (or in this case, before!)

Enoch’s little laboratory was in the basement, not upstairs.

The twins might’ve been in the loop at some point, but they certainly aren’t there when Jacob arrives.

Wait, so instead of chasing after them, he runs away? Jake’s a pussy.

And he trips and gets knocked unconscious by a rock. Wow.

Bronwyn, despite being the wrong age and having no personality, is at least cute and it’s fun to watch her carry Jake.

Why is Millard so tiny? You can say that his age is ambiguous, but in the book Jacob clearly states that his voice sounds like that of a young man’s, not a young child’s.

“You’re Emma!” (John Cena voice) Are you sure about that?

Why is Olive, like, 16? She’s supposed to be 7-9 years old (and ofc she has Emma’s powers instead.)

“She sent us to get you”? Why, though?

Standing there all creepy ain’t gonna make him want to follow you.

Jake doesn’t seem to see the change in the weather.

“I am the manager” reminds me of that one Tumblr comic.

Ngl, Millard would do this – if just for fun. He’s a little shit like that.

What’s the point of lighting the place on fire? They’re distracted enough.

Did they just steal someone’s horse?

Millard no longer has any personality out of “Yeah” and “Yep.”

Emma is not nearly bitchy enough. Or at all.

The house is gorgeous! It looks just like I imagined it!

What the fuck, why is Miss Peregrine so young? I know I mentioned this before but what the fuck.

“Right on time”?

“I had to kill them twice this month” WHAT. MISS PEREGRINE DOESN’T KILL UNLESS NECESSARY

Miss Peregrine is not nearly this creepy in the book.

THAT’S NOT ENOCH.

Why does he sound mildly Scottish? He’s from London and has a slight cockney accent.

From now own, every time I see Enoch, 5 years are taken off my life.

Why is Fiona 11 and English? She’s supposed to be in her late teens and Irish – not to mention, SHE DOESN’T TALK!

I don’t think Fiona’s powers make things huge.

“Imm-breen” it’s “imm-brinn”

Do the twins have names?

Claire looks cute!

I don’t think Millard, no matter his age, would be very interested in physical activity. He’s a brains over brawn kind of type, you know?

Kind of uncharacteristic of Hugh to send his bees after a friend.

I’m gonna cry. At least one of my babies looks right.

Horace feels… off. All the components of his personality are certainly there, but in different degrees than in the book.

I’m sorry, what? A daily chore that’s reset by the loop? Miss P, these are kids and teenagers! They’ll get bored of doing that every day! I know because I am a teenager!

That squirrel would be going crazy and scratching her up. I know this is a nitpick but squirrels are vicious, man.

Was this scene the only reason they swapped Emma and Olive’s peculiarities?

Why are her shoes so hard to take off? What if she has to get away in an emergency? She’s fucked!

Why’s it so hard to pull her down?

Emma doesn’t seem to heartbroken over Abe’s death. In the book, she bawled upon overhearing that he died.

This dialogue barely hints at Emma and Abe having a romantic relationship, making only people who read the book know this information. Non-book readers might just assume they were close friends.

Of course, instead of borrowing Victor’s clothes he has to borrow Abe’s.

God, am I the only one that hates looking at Finlay? He’s not ugly – a bit handsome actually! -- he’s just… kind of weird looking.

So… Olive is good friends with Enoch? Don’t get how they got that out of the book when they have no interactions in the first book.

His dolls are meant to be made of clay! Now he just looks like an older Sid.

The stop motion is terrible.

So, they care enough about Enoch’s character to remember that his parents ran a funeral parlor, but not enough to make him his actual character.

Did he not see Millard’s silverware moving? Did no one see it?

So, Enoch is clearly mad at the statement Horace made, so why hold back your retort by whispering? Was he sick on this day of filming?

No one needs that much carrot.

Hugh’s been living there for 70 years; pretty sure he’d never forget to put his net on.

Wait, so he remembered to bring it with him, but not to put it on?

S L U R M P

“She’s embarrassed in front of Jake.” Uh, Hugh, I think you flubbed your line, it’s “Claire don’t eat with the rest of us.”

Oh, thank god, she has the same peculiarity.

I’m crying, Claire is so adorable!

Enoch’s a bigger asshole than I remember him being in the books.

Although it wasn’t in the book, I do like the inclusion of the call from Abe. It makes no sense whatsoever, but I still like it.

Would Horace really be comfortable sharing his dreams – especially via projector?

“Some of his dreams are prophetic,” shouldn’t ‘some’ be ‘most’? Everyone’s dreams can hold some form of future-telling, albeit in an abstract way. If only some of his dreams are prophetic, that barely makes him peculiar.

I don’t get why Horace’s dreams are at all symbolic. They should be literal.

Why did he see Ms. Avocet get kidnapped when she, in fact, didn’t?

“Horace must’ve just had a bad dream, that’s all.” HIS DREAMS ARE PROPHETIC.

Wait, so they have a phonograph outside? And it works?

Why make Miss P creepier, but tone down the creepiness of the reset scene? Think of it: 9 children you barely know wearing gasmasks are singing an old song you don’t know to the tune of bombs falling. That’s a lot scarier than listening to the song on a phonograph.

I just remembered: they never offered the reason why Cairnholm gets bombed. In the book, it’s stated that the island had a sort of anti-aircraft gun which made it a target, but here the Germans simply bomb it to be seen as more evil than they already are.

I do admit, the reset scene does look beautiful.

Jake doesn’t seem as terrified, though.

Emma learning about cellphones is pretty cute.

And we’re back to talking about Abe.

“More than a few minutes,” it’s closer to hours, days even if we’re going by Library of Souls.

Already with Ms. Avocet?

(Cinema Sins voice) Jake’s dad reminds me too much of my own father in this scene.

Okay, so I’m assuming “Mr. Barron” is some wight higher-up? I know he’s not, but for the sake of the notes let’s pretend I don’t know.

Man, he really is my dad. He acts all weird and pretends like nothing happened later.

Who dresses like that in the 21st century!? I like the aesthetic too, but you don’t see me walking around in a Rococo period dress.

No one talks like this either.

That fuckin’ dart competition’s going to get me every time.

Who the fuck rests on their bed with their shoes on?

Bronwyn is cute but… I can’t get over the fact they made her younger and erased her character.

Would it kill someone to say, “Can we try that take again?”

WHY did they make Miss Peregrine so creepy? She was never this creepy!

Yeah, and he’s trying to warn you of potential danger. Also, can I ask where the fuck he got that letter?

Every time I see Finlay’s face a deep hatred resurfaces from the darkest corners of my heart.

All the kids in that room together just chilling is cute.

OKAY THIS IS WHAT PISSES ME OFF. I know for a damn fact that Enoch would never be mean to someone who was kind to him.

In the book, Bronwyn wanted nothing more than for Enoch to wake up Victor but go off I guess.

According to the timeline, HE SHOULD BARELY KNOW ABE.

That’s not how he brings them back to life, though? It’s not like he’s doing heart surgery, it’s more like he’s just gonna smell like death (literally) for most of the day.

Enoch being there as Jake realizes Victor’s dead really takes out a lot of the punch from the scene. Having him show up afterwards (like in the book) is better since it’s more like ‘Realization -> Confrontation’ instead of just… explaining and scaring.

I don’t know if Tim’s ever been around a normal human being before but usually you don’t see their heartbeat.

Okay, so… he can’t bring people back to life, only use them as puppets. First off, that’s gross, and second, that’s a nearly useless peculiarity.

How can tears roll down Victor’s cheek if he’s never conscious anymore? Dead people are known to shed tears, but it’s after they die and are decomposing, and Victor can’t decompose because he’s in a loop!

Does Miss P just do that on a regular basis?

Wasn’t that a rowboat?

That’s carbon dioxide, you can’t breathe that.

How is she swimming? Wouldn’t she just walk? She has lead shoes on!

I don’t think skeletons keep their hair.

Well how the hell does that work?

“Air, it’s my peculiarity.” No, it is not.

I’d rather trust a bunch of information I don’t want the people I love knowing with an adult, but okay.

Wait, so Emma has the Map of Days now?! It was stressed countless times in the trilogy how much Millard loves that damn thing and you give it to EMMA?!

Okay, WHAT? Barron is the leader now!? I guess Miss Peregrine’s brothers just don’t exist now!

“Bad peculiars”? They’re ex-peculiars, because they don’t have powers anymore!

They took the kids, too, you know.

Wait, while they’re at it, didn’t this conversation take place at night?

Just tell him how Abe could see monsters, then he’ll believe. No need to be dramatic.

Hollowgasts sure as fuck would not loop along with the townspeople, they’d be free to roam around or they’d get left behind. Also, Victor died AFTER the loop was made! He got tired of living there and tried to leave and died THIS IS SUCH A SIMPLE STORY TIM.

Did I mention that I hate how the hollowgasts look?

You could have told him earlier but okay.

I don’t remember any of this from the book.

“Tired of living in loops.” Caul was tired of peculiardom being a ‘matriarchy.’ Yes, there were some problems with how peculiar boys who could turn into birds were treated but overall Caul was crazy and narcissistic.

I guess there are only 13 wights, opposed to hundreds or even thousands.

Also, why are they all upper-class? I’d assume a lot would be lower.

Didn’t they also blow up half of Siberia?

EYEBALLS? It’s from consuming their souls! I guess Tim just wanted to put in some ugly ass imagery.

Wait, why are they still eating? They’re fine now!

Almost forgot Millard was in this fucking movie.

But they weren’t even going to try it again! It was a ploy! And why hold it where a normal person could find it!?

This ‘leaving’ bullshit pisses me off because it’s breaking so many fucking rules. Hollows can’t enter loops so leaving is more dangerous than staying, which is what she chose to do in the book!

Claire is so cute.

Makes a bit more sense that an old blind man on his own died than a healthy, (I’m assuming) mid-age museum curator but okay.

This is probably the dumbest thing Jake has ever done. Surely, he knows that normal people can go in, but that they can’t enter through the loop, right? And he could potentially also be a danger, so why call out to him?

This reveal isn’t nearly as powerful as the one in the book. By doing his other voices from previous identities he’d taken before to watch over Jacob, he intimidated him and by finally revealing himself as Dr. Golan, he immediately made the one normal person that Jacob felt a bit safe around a danger and in that moment, he realizes what he had done by telling him everything.

Okay, here’s why I’m pissed they made Dr. Golan a woman. Reason 1 is because it shows that Tim wanted to make the wights really overpowered by letting them keep their peculiarites, and reason 2 (separate of reason 1) is because they didn’t make the rest of their identities women. Like just make a lady ornithologist and have her be a peculiar who can turn into a bird but can’t control time, making her feel self-worth incredibly low and hate ymbrynes. It took me a minute to think this up, Tim.

That’s not how you take off contacts.

Did this fucker really think he could take on an adult?

Hollowgasts can’t enter loops but okay.

This is a bit of a nitpick but the fact that Jake was used as a hostage instead of Hugh just shows how much they didn’t give a shit about the other kids unless they had a relationship cookin’ for them.

So, she has a crossbow, but she’ll just go down without a fight? That’s not like her at all!

This is NOT the time to be petty, Wal-Mart brand Enoch.

I just realized that Horace has like 4 lines and now I’m sad.

I would be so happy that instead of turning into a bird and leaving that Miss Peregrine just fucking decked him. It’s a lot more in character than just letting them take her.

I don’t remember Miss Peregrine trusting a 16-year-old with the lives of 9 kids but okay.

One of the few good things this movie brought me was a peregrine falcon sound so I could look it up and see if it was accurate. I then found a video of a sweet old man filming a peregrine falcon’s call and providing quiet commentary. Just felt that was worth mentioning.

Since when did Jacob become good at strategy?

Cute scene, but it means nothing to me.

Okay I guess Miss Avocet never mattered.

Just destroy Wal-Mart brand Enoch, please.

Why does Fiona have the most lines out of the neglected kids? She only had 2 lines in the whole book!

That bomb would be enough to take care of it, but okay go ahead and shoot it.

Olive seems pretty in-control of her peculiarity, so why give her gloves?

“It’s only 6 months old.” What?

Time travel is bullshit. Also, I don’t think it works like that?

“I know you’ll choose Abe.” Well, duh, I’d rather see my grandfather again than some cute girl I met a few days ago that barely even seems to like me that well.

Okay, so the movie I’m watching is really choppy and cuts at random parts and it just cut in the middle of a sentence Wal-Mart brand Enoch was saying and I couldn’t be happier.

Yeah, but the loop entrances are usually in places normal people won’t go. (ex. Miss P’s loop entrance, Miss Thrush’s loop entrance, etc.) Seems dumb to put it on a ride. Imagine sending your kids on there and when the cart comes back one of them is missing?

Okay, so there’s only 4 hollows and 6 wights left according to the movie. Why are they all so afraid of them then?!

In the book, a lot of them were trained to handle guns, and in the movie they still have their peculiarities – so WHY are they not attacking Emma as soon as they see her!?

I’m pretty sure that in the book Jacob had been seeing Dr. Golan much longer than 3 weeks.

Yeah, Florida’s a hellhole, to be quite honest.

I guess no one cares about a floating girl in the sky. I don’t see any iPhone’s out recording.

Never mind, I see one (1). I should see much more, though.

How would the hearts stay in the skeletons? There’s nothing for them to hold onto.

Is there no staff at this place?

How are these skeletons in general staying together?

This fight is pretty dangerous. They’re exposing normal people to peculiardom.

Okay, so now the wights use their peculiarities to fight.

Horace saved lives at least 3 times but I guess he’s just useless now according to the movie.

Man, Tim, you sure did a good job of creating strong female characters! /s

How is Mr. Barron not dead? She lifted the boat out of water and the closer you get to the bottom of the ocean the more pressure you’ve gotta deal with.

3 cheers for this forced romance! Hip-hip! (Boo)

This 16-year-old doesn’t need to tell these women what to do.

Why is Miss Peregrine in a different cage?

I guess Barron just had some blue eye contacts on him.

How did the hollow get down there?

I guess Jake’s a perfect shot now, since it’s convenient.

(vomit noises)

Again, time travel is bullshit. Wouldn’t there be another Jake walking around?

Wait, they’re still there?

Hurray for more terrible loop entrances!

In the book, this would be the second time they had kissed but okay.

Never knew that birds could just be stationary while in the sky.

Wait, so she just… keeps her clothes? Trust me, I don’t want to see a naked woman in something other than an art piece or otherwise but that was a rule that they had in the book.

Well that was a load of shit. At least with the ending there can’t be a sequel.