#but susan? who called his rhododendrons a pitiful color? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thedawningofthehour · 3 months ago

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Like, yes his house is a mess and he'd break all his own rules. Yes he thinks it's all incredibly stupid. He will still never turn down a pass to wield power over people he hates.

And he absolutely hates every karenesque wine mom in their shitty McMansions and greige/landlord white neutral girly color schemes. He has a group of mom friends he utterly loathes and goes to their weekly 'drink wine and bitch' nights just to brag about how superior his kids are to theirs. He'd absolutely make their lives hell through a HOA next.

Ok, I just picture something and i need to get it out.

Draxum vs the HOA.

I feel like Draxum would join a HOA. He is peak suburban PTA mom.

#it would be VERY targeted like he wouldn't pick on every single person who didn't bring their trash in immediately #people are at work he's not unreasonable #but susan? who called his rhododendrons a pitiful color?#he knows all she does is 'sell essential oils' so that bitch better be out there when the garbage truck is pulling away #sharon whose son cheats on everything from his tests to his girlfriends? he's fining his mom until she stops saying “boys will be boys”#and linda #fucking linda #he takes great pleasure in tormenting her #of course when he gets in trouble himself for building like a catapult in his backyard #he gets out of it by citing some weird loophole and bringing donnie in to tell everyone what idiots they are #he is BELOATHED in the neighborhood #(actually i feel like some people would think he was awesome he's either beloved or beloathed no one holds any middling opinions of him)#he also brings Weird food to neighborhood cookouts with kind of adds to that factor

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