#but still. pretty alarming to smell that and not remember farting recently
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ampleappleamble · 16 days ago
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weirdest thing about having a kid that no one ever thought to tell me: his farts smell exactly like my own
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vladfad · 6 years ago
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Coffee Ground-Zero
This is another fart fetish story I wrote a while ago, it is a sequel to my previous story, and contains some scat. I don’t think it’s aged too well, but then again it’s my most faved story on DA so... Maybe that’s just me being harsh on myself. Hope you enjoy.
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*BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP!* "Urgh..." Kristi felt her joints creek as she awoke from her slumber. Her eyes slowly opened to find she was not in the comfort of her bed, but was indeed lying fully clothed on her sofa. She glanced at her TV set. She must have fallen asleep watching that Political Documentary about British Parliament and society in the 60's to the 90's. She had planned to write an article on it. But instead, she saw the open DVD case for Megadeth's Live show, Rude Awakening. Fuck, Kristi thought, I need to stop procrastinating and watch that documentary... Maybe tonight. *BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP!* "Dammit... Stupid alarm..." Kristi gazed at the alarm clock at the other side of the room. She must have brought into the main living area in case she fell asleep. She reached down and pulled a pillow she was sat on from under herself. *FWOOOO-CRASH!* Kristi sent the pillow spiraling through the air. It hit the alarm and switched it off, but also knocked it onto the ground. She sighed, glad the alarm was no longer pestering her. She glanced around the room, noticing a few things lying around from last night. Se noticed 4 empty bottles of Doom Bar beer on the coffee table. That explains the headache... She then noticed a box of pizza next to her on the sofa. There was still a third left in the box. It's not like me to eat less than one pizza... Kristi then looked at the cardboard disposal box, where two pizza boxes were stored. That makes more sense. Swinging her legs off of the sofa, she went to tidy away the bottles and put the pizza box on the dining table. Kristi then grabbed the alarm clock off of the floor and returned it to the bedroom. The last thing to put back was the cushion. Out of curiosity, she held the pillow up to her nose and sniffed deep. Mmmm, meat-feast~, she thought. She must have been ripping ass in her sleep. She chucked it back over onto the sofa. Kristi pulled her phone out of her pocket. 1 new message,��the screen read. Kristi unlocked her phone and checked the message. It was from Laura. Kristi blushed. She'd met Laura 2 days ago at the mall. Laura had gotten briefly stuck in a lift with Kristi, and had seemed desperate for the toilet (She'd mentioned something about lactose intolerance, Kristi could relate). Kristi did the noble thing and cleared the nearest bathroom with a powerful, potent release. One thing lead to another, and now the two were... Dating? Kristi wasn't quite sure. Despite feeling sympathetic for her, she hardly knew Laura. Kristi opened the message. Laura: Got the day off. Do U want 2 get coffee? Mall 4 lunch? Kristi smiled. She was glad she didn't have to initiate the first date. She always felt awkward asking out of nowhere, Hey, do you want to go out? Get something to eat, stuff ourselves silly, get kinky? Even just now, she was starting to take her offer too far. She swiftly moved her fingers across the touchscreen. Kristi: Ok. See you soon xx Rrrrrrrrbbbbrrrrrrlllllrrrrggggrrrr... Kristi looked down at her stomach as it rumbled ominously. She hadn't gone to the toilet this morning. Prrrr-rrruuummmblllrrrrvvvrr...! Out of Kristi's jeans rumbled a 5 second bubbler. Kristi was about to make her way to the bathroom, but then remembered something. "I've been wearing these clothes the past 3 or four days. These need cleaning..." A thought then occurred to Kristi. "If they're going in the wash anyway...~" She walked into her bedroom and grabbed her full-body mirror. She wheeled it into the bathroom. She locked the bathroom door (She wasn't sharing the apartment with anyone, but just to be on the safe side) and looked at herself in the mirror she'd wheeled in. God, I look a wreck... Kristi thought. Her hair was ruffled and untidy (It wasn't the tidiest normally, but she'd usually brush it.), she had vague streaks of pizza sauce around her mouth, there was a slice of pepperoni on her shirt, and her jeans had slid down a little, revealing the cleft of her butt. She quickly washed her face and ate the bit of pepperoni. Now, back to business... RRRUUURrrrrGllRRRRGGGRRRRROORGGGRR...! Kristi felt her stomach moan as a cramp seized her mid-drift. She fought the urge to pull down her jeans. BRRRR-ruurrrrrrmmmmmBBBBBRRRRRRRRLLLLLRRRRRRRrrrvvvvvvvvvvvrrlllrrrbbplrbplrpt! A nauseatingly wet fart bubbled out from her rear, fluctuating in tone as it tried to push out more than just gas. Kristi had had accidents before (Usually after a Mexican or curry. One time was after stuffing herself on Christmas day. Her and her mum had a bit of a contest of who could hold their meal in the longest. Kristi had won, but as her mum was the one who got to the toilet on Boxing day Kristi didn't see herself as much of a winner), some of which she did deliberately (She'd gone through a phase of public "accidents"), but she'd often wore cheap leggings for those. They allowed the bulge to be seen easier and just felt easier to crap in. They also stained easily, which was a bonus. Kristi had never had an accident in jeans (Which was strange because of how often she wore them). She owned 3 identical pairs, so even if she ruined one she could just alternate between the remaining two. Kristi turned to look at her butt in the mirror, at a profile view. Kristi was appreciative of her look, she was glad with the proportions of her body. Her butt stuck out just enough and had a nice curve to it. It also looked visibly fairly soft, and she loved how it looked in jeans. She had found herself envious of other girls (Most recently Laura - her butt looked so doughy), but when she thought about it she wouldn't trade out her body for anybody else. Kristi cupped her buttcheeks lightly, as if weighing them. She loved the weight they had in her hands. Prrrlllrrrrrrrffffffffbbbrrfff! A shorter, airy fart made its way out of her backside. Its tone implied something more was on its way. Kristi pushed harder. Prrrrffff-BLLLRRPT-PRRRSH-CRRRCKLE! The initial fart was airy like before, but soon exploded into a bubbly fart. Changing again, the fart became far more moist and soft crackling was heard from her jeans. Kristi glanced an herself in the mirror - her face had gone bright red, from half embarrassment and half arousal. She glanced at her butt in the mirror, looking at the slight bulge her turd was making against the back of her jeans. BBRRRBBBRRRRRFFFLLLLLRRRRAAPT-SPPLLLRRRSHHHCHLLLRRRPLLLLLLLLURRRRCHH! Kristi followed through on the log, with a loud bubbling shart accompanying it. With the floodgates open, a stream of logs and mushy faecal matter filled her jeans, creating a wet slapping sound as it all poured out. It was runnier than Kristi had been anticipating (Although she should have seen it coming - she'd often get the runs after a night of drinking), but it wasn't going to seep through her panties. BvvvvrrrrrBBLLLLLRRRUUUUMMMMPPT! As if emphasising the end of her accident, a bubbly fart burst out, muffled by the mess. Kristi was moaning to herself; just from having the immense, smelly brown sludge in her jeans, she was getting off. She didn't even need to touch herself to bring around a climax, it was that intense. "Phew..." Was all Kristi could manage after standing in her load for about 20 seconds. She carefully unzipped her Jeans, and slowly pulled them down. She looked in between her legs and almost swooned at the thick gloopy mess. She could feel some of it stuck inside her buttcrack as well. To most it would have been an unpleasant feeling. Not to Kristi. Remembering what she was doing, she took off her jeans. There was a brown skid-mark on the inside of the jeans. As far as she could tell, it wasn't visible from the outside. Even still, she tried to wipe away some of the residue from the inside, and then put her jeans into the washing basket in the corner. She glanced back down at her panties - they were barely holding under the weighty load. They were white briefs, although needless to say they were no longer as white as they once were. In reality, they had already had a brown stain from the last time Kristi had worn them, and a fart had become a little too wet. Surprisingly, most of her underwear stayed clean. This was due to Kristi having decent control over her bowels, and whenever she wore leggings for deliberate accidents she went commando. The same could not be said for the smell of most of her underwear. Deciding that her briefs had just seen their final days, she carefully took the filled panties and dropped them into the toilets. *SPLOOSH!* "Right... I should probably shower." Kristi said to herself. She glanced at her bare ass in the mirror - it was pretty filthy. She took off her t-shirt and chucked it into the washing basket with her jeans. She then went to remove her bra, only then realising she must have taken it off last night to make herself comfier, because she wasn't wearing it now. She stepped into the shower and started running the water. She personally preferred baths (bubbles were fun), but a bath would just leave her sitting in shit tainted water, which was hardly useful for becoming clean. She grabbed some shower gel and put herself under the running shower head. "AH! That's cold!" Kristi jumped. She started blushing - she didn't like being caught off guard. She was rarely caught off guard, but when she was she'd always feel really embarrassed. She'd been surprised into farting before, and unlike farting of her own volition she derived no pleasure from it. Kristi shook it off and turned up the hot tap a bit. She went back into the now-warm stream of water. She washed away all visible residue of her accident before getting some shampoo and washing her hair. Heh, shampoo, Kristi thought immaturely. After applying the shampoo, she moved on to the shower gel and started rubbing it over her body. Suds started to form on her sleek, wet skin. She took particular care to clean her crack to make sure she was absolutely clean. She also made sure her thighs were also thoroughly cleaned, in case anything had dripped down. Prrrrblllllllvvvvvrrrpt! A bubbling fart eased out from between Kristi's buttcheeks. It scattered a few bubbles in its wake. --- Once Kristi had dried off, she went to her drawers. From the first drawer she pulled a pair of black briefs and a matching black bra. She grabbed a new pair of jeans from the next drawer down. Next, she walked to her clean t-shirt pile at the other end of the room. She picked up the first shirt. It was a black shirt with a big, red circular logo on the front. The shirt read 'Queensrÿche' at the top of the circle, and 'Rage For Order' at the bottom. The band's logo was at the centre of the circle, with a backdrop of the planet behind it. "This'll do," Kristi stated simply. She pulled the shirt down over her head. It fit fine, if a little snug around the chest. Kristi walked out of her room, and back to her dining table. She hadn't forgotten the 1/3 of pizza she'd failed to eat last night. Pizza for breakfast. How posh,Kristi thought sarcastically. She sat down at the table and grabbed the first slice. It was cold, sure, but it was still pizza. The first slice didn't last long at all, and soon enough she had the final slice in her hand. But first, she leaned to the side. BBBRRRRRRUUUUUuuuuuuummmmmmvvvvvvvllLLLLLRRRRRRRRPPT! Even after recently emptying her bowels, she was already brewing more gas. It hardly surprised her. "Man, pizza's the best. Dairy andGluten? Meat and chili peppers? What could go wrong?" Kristi said to herself. BLLAARPT! BRRRBBT! Kristi released two shorter bursts of gas as she finished off the final slice. She then threw away the cardboard box and made her way to the bathroom. She washed her face and brushed her teeth. She then applied some blue lipstick and some light eyeshadow. Kristi didn't like using make up that much (It always wiped off one way or another) but she liked the shade of blue, and she was going on a date. Why not? Satisfied, she grabbed her phone and jacket and made her way to the bus stop. On her way, she texted: Kristi: Just left apartment. See you in 10. --- Laura checked her phone, which had just chimed with a new message. It was Kristi. When she read it, her heart sank a little. Laura had gotten ready earlier in that day. She wore black leggings (Which she had noticed were a little tight, looking slightly transparent), and a cyan t-shirt. She preferred t-shirts, but had to wear button-up shirts for her office job (And on occasion, a pencil skirt if there were a board meeting). She'd put on some red lipstick and mascara, and had her hair let down at full length. She was just about to go into the car, but... RRRRRUUUUUURRRRRMMMMMBBBLLLLrrrrrrrgggrrrrrrrllllllrrrrrr...! She'd been cut off. In the rush to make sure she was ready she'd neglected to empty her bowels. She had two options: Say she'd be late, or try to hold her load for however long their date would be. She glanced at her phone, contemplating how she should reply. "Mmmmmm..." She moaned in discomfort as her stomach groaned again. She checked herself in the mirror, making sure she looked fine. In truth, most people would have said she looked drop-dead sexy, but Laura was always self conscious of her look, especially the slight gut she'd been developing over the years. It was due to her office job - she was far less active than she had been. She looked back at her phone. Fuck it, she thought. Laura: On my way now. See you then xx She grabbed her house keys and car key, and left her home. She made her way to her car. It wasn't anything special, but it was perfectly functional to drive. She unlocked the driver-side door (On the right side in the UK), and stepped in. Shutting the door, Laura blushed as she leaned to the side. BRRRRRRUUUUUUUMMMMBBLLLLLL-PPPRRRRRUUUMMMMVVVVVLLLRRRRPT! A monstrous, rumbling fart blasted out of her back-side, vibrating the seat, her butt, and even the car itself. Laura flushed red as the burning odour of spice and landfill filled the car alarmingly quickly. Laura gagged on the powerful wind which had just broke free from her. "Oooooh, why now? Why does it have to smell so bad?" Laura had already farted in front of Kristi, but that wasn't the point! She wanted to make a decent first... Well, second impression. She wanted to actually get to know Kristi, and for Kristi to know her. How was she supposed to do that if she kept ripping ass? But even still, the reason Laura had given her phone number to Kristi was because she didn't seem bothered by it. In fact, she seemed just as gassy as Laura. She figured she couldn't let someone so... sympathetic of her condition leave her life without a chance of knowing her. PLLLRRRRVVVVBBBT! As Laura put the key into the ignition, another bubbly fart rumbled into the seat. --- Kristi was on the bus, about 5 minutes left in the journey, when she checked her phone. There was a response from Laura. She decided not to reply, on account that they'd be at the coffee shop shortly. She wasn't alone on the bus today - there was a young couple sat further ahead, and a lone man sat across from Kristi. Rrrruurrrrgggllllllll... Kristi flushed with red. The growl in her stomach was just audible over the hum of the bus engine. It didn't sound too intense, so Kristi wasn't worried, but she did get a glance from the man sat across from her. GGRRRRUUUUURRRGGLLLRRRRRRR...! Kristi shifted awkwardly in her chair as another cramp seized her torso. "Hey, are you okay?" The man to her left had shifted over a bit to ask if she was doing fine. While Kristi appreciated the concern, she didn't like the attention. It would make trying to relieve herself covertly difficult. "Uh, yeah thanks." She whispered her reply. Prrrrrr-rrrrrrrrrrrsssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhssssssssssssssssssssssssssss...! Kristi froze, completely rigid with embarrassment. The beginning of the fart purred out, and then tailed off into a silent hiss. It had caught her by surprise. Judging from the heat that the fart generated, it was going to be smelly - no doubt the gurgling from her stomach would undeniably give her away as the source of the smell. Kristi had to resist coughing when she caught wind of her fart - it smelled awful! With morbid curiosity she turned to the man sat across from her. He... His face had gone red. His legs were crossed over and looking out the window with what seemed to be guilt. Was he... Was he turned on? Kristi hadn't ever met anybody else with a fart fetish, and while Kristi wasn't into guys, she had to find out for certain. So she leaned to the side... BRRRRRRLLLLLRRRRRRrrrrrrrmmmmmpt! The couple at the front of the bus looked, in surprise, right at Kristi. Kristi couldn't face them. They knew it was her. There was no question. No, instead Kristi was focused on the reaction of the man. His gaze was transfixed on Kristi, his face was a picture of surprise and arousal. Kristi, when the couple was no longer looking at her, stepped across to sit next to the guy. There was sweat running down his forehead. She merely mentioned one simple word: "KC_Fart_blog97" The guy faced her in surprise. He whispered "What did you say?" "You heard. Do you know of her?" The man continued blushing. Clearly, this girl knew about his fetish by how he reacted, "Yeah, I follow her blog. W-Why do you ask?" Kristi smirked. "You're sat next to her~" The man stammered, "Wha-!? Bu- Really?" They were both in a hushed tone so that the couple ahead of them didn't eavesdrop on their conversation. He then collected his thoughts, "What does the KC stand for?" He honestly couldn't believe he was having this conversation with someone he'd... Enjoyed the stories of, to put it delicately. "Don't tell anyone, but my name's Kristi Cooke." Kristi responded. Out of curiosity, she then asked "What's your online profile?" The man looked confused, "I thought you weren't interested in guys?" Kristi shrugged. "I'm not, but it's always nice to meet a fan. Besides, I'm on my way to a date now." He nodded. "Right... It's um, it's QuantumX. But my real name's Mike." Kristi recognised the user name. "Hey, you're the one who always leaves really nice comments." Mike scratched the back of his head. "It's nothing, really. Your stories are always captivating." "Thanks, dude." Kristi stood up and pressed the stop button. "This is where I leave you. Maybe we could keep in touch? Not in a 'dating' way, but it was nice talking to ya. Always nice to meet someone with similar... interests." "H-Hope to see you around." Mike managed to mutter. He was practically on cloud 9 right now. Kristi turned to the front of the bus. Just before leaving, she pushed a little... Prrrrrllllllrrrrrpt! Kristi could barely contain a giggle as she let the small, bubbly fart go. Mike's reaction was priceless. As the bus pulled up to the mall, Kristi headed off of the bus and went inside. --- BRRRRRLLLLLRRRRBBBBBPPT! PLLLLUUURRRRRBBBBLLLLLRRRRVVMMMMBBBPT! MMMMBBBBBLLLLRRRRRRAAAPPPRRRRRRBBLLRT! "Shit," Was all Laura could say as she pulled into a parking space. She had been farting almost non-stop in the car, and she still didn't feel relieved. She had hoped to get all of her gas out before the date, but it was clear that wasn't going to happen. She just hoped she could hold her farts in while getting coffee and having lunch. Or, at the very least, for Kristi not to mind her being gassy. She sort of knew Kristi would be okay with it, but she really didn't want to burden her with her constant gas. PHHHHUUURRRRBbbbllllrrr...! Laura prematurely cut off another fart which had made an attempt to part her cheeks. She clenched, to make sure she could control her gas. Hesitantly, she opened the car door. The rush of air as the putrid fumes left the car was quite startling, the warm air heavily contrasted with the cool breeze of the outside. After locking up her car, she made the approach to the main mall building. GggggrrrrrrUUUUrrrrrrrmmmmmbbbbllllrrrrrrr...! Her stomach groaned almost visibly under her light-blue shirt. Laura tentatively kneaded her stomach like a baker would knead dough (albeit more subtly, and one handed). She got a couple of glances from some people passing her. As if she wasn't self conscious enough, the stares were making her blush even more. She walked through the automatic doors and made her way down a stairwell. I'm not chancing the lift again... She stepped out onto the lowest floor in the mall: it was used for quite a few cafes and clothes stores. Laura spotted a shock of green hair from the crowd, and locked eye contact with Kristi. Laura suddenly felt like all the trouble was worth it just to see Kristi smile at her. She didn't see any look of doubt on Kristi's face - any look that said "Should I really date this girl who farted in the elevator?", no sign of second thoughts, no worries. It was refreshing to see someone who respected who she was, and who she could be comfortable around. She'd had her fair share of girlfriends in her life, but Kristi seemed... different. The circumstances on which they'd met couldn't have been coincidence - they were both gassy, and Kristi didn't mind Laura farting. Laura didn't mind Kristi's farts either, but mainly because Laura was used to her own brand. It had to be fate that they'd met. So far they were almost like a match made in heaven... But she was getting ahead of herself. She hardly knew Kristi, which is why she'd arranged the date. "Hi! It's good to see you again, after... y'know." Laura said, trailing off at the end of the sentence. "Heh, how could I forget? Should we go get a table?" Kristi spoke with such confidence, and nonchalance, despite alluding to their embarrassing meeting. Laura loved it; she didn't have to worry around her. They came to the back of the queue of the coffee shop. It was a short line, so Laura hurriedly checked the cooling area for a sandwich. She grabbed a BLT, while Kristi grabbed a Bacon+Brie Panini. They stood together in line and soon enough ordered their coffee. Kristi ordered hers with regular milk, whilst Laura ordered hers with soy milk. They found a table for two in the corner of the cafe and sat down across from each other. "Um, I didn't want to say anything..." Laura spoke in a hushed tone, "But I... Well, you ordered your coffee with regular milk..." Kristi blushed. Force of habit, she supposed. How was she going to explain this one? "Oh, yeah... I sometimes get my order wrong..." Laura looked concerned. "Do you want me to change the order? I could go and as-" "N-No, it's fine, really. I can cope." Laura looked surprised. "Really? But you said you were lactose intolerant..." Kristi shrugged. "I'm also gluten intolerant, but I don't let it stop me eating what I want." Laura's face was perplexed. "Why would you put yourself through that?" "Honestly? I'd rather handle the side effect than restrict my diet. Although, I do often avoid regular milk for coffee. Guess it slipped my mind today." Laura nodded. "I guess I can understand that. I take it your lactose intolerance is less... Severe than mine?" "Honestly, it's never been as much as a problem for me." A waitress came over with a tray. She placed down each of the drinks to the girls, and also gave Kristi her panini. "Enjoy!", the waitress said before walking away. Laura watched the waitress's butt wiggle as she walked away. She blushed, looking back at Kristi. She had a wry grin on her face. "Were you checking out the waitress?" She asked, clearly amused. "N-No! Well... Maybe...?" Laura blushed, clearly flustered. They'd barely held a conversation and Laura's eyes were drifting. She felt so guilty! Could Kristi forgive her for it? Had she already blown their relationship?! "Heh, yeah she is pretty cute. Probably straight though." Kristi's answer surprised Laura. She'd been expecting to apologise, but instead Kristi didn't mind... Dammit, Laura! You're an anxious wreck! Calm down, you're doing fine. The details of Kristi's response then set in. "...How can you tell she's straight?" Laura questions. Kristi nodded towards the counter. Laura turned around, to see the waitress snogging her male colleague. "O-Oh, that's pretty concrete evidence..." Kristi smirked, "Yeah, but at least she's nice to look at. So... What do you do as a job?" Laura perked up "Well, I work at the Fjoremann Industries building just up the road as a secretary. It pays quite well actually. What do you do?" Kristi sipped her coffee. "I'm a freelance journalist and author." Laura took a bite from her sandwich. "Really?! What genres do you like?" Kristi mulled it over. She couldn't very well say she wrote fart fetish stories on the internet. So she decided to instead say: "I mainly write fantasy. Magic, dragons, that kind of thing." Laura nodded. The conversation went on discussing their jobs, hobbies, and making their way through their lunch. Eventually, both girls had finished, and both girls were just maintaining conversation. It was all going well, until... RRrrrruuuuuugggglllrrrrrruuuuummmmbbllllrrrr...! Laura flushed bright red. Part way through Kristi talking about her book that she was writing, an ominous gurgle emitted from her stomach. Kristi tilted her head concerned. "Are you okay, Laura?" Prrrrrrrrrrffffffffvvvvvvvvvvvrrrrrrrrrrrrbbbbllllllrrrrrr...! The release was barely audible over the bustle of the cafe and the mall, but Kristi could feel it lightly rumble the chair. Laura started sweating, embarrassed that she had farted in public. The smell started to permeate the air. It was a distinct dairy odour. "Uhm, are you sure we had the right coffee? I need to... go." Kristi blushed. She hadn't really noticed a difference in her coffee taste, but the smell was definitely spoiled milk, there was no denying. And now Laura was desperate for the toilet, that meant there date would soon be over. Unless... "To be honest, I'm feeling a bit bubbly myself." Kristi said quietly. If Laura was going to use the public toilets, Kristi sure as hell wasn't going to miss out. Besides, she wasn't lying - her stomach did feel pretty bloated, it was only a matter of when she'd drop her load. Not if. Laura stood up. "I'm going to use the bathroom. I'd ask if you'd want to come with, but it may get a bit-" "Laura, really. I don't mind it. Besides, it's not like you'll be the only one dropping bombs." The two girls left the coffee shop and made their way up the stairwell. Laura had lead the way as she was more desperate (And also because Kristi was hoping to be caught downwind of Laura). As they started to climb the steps, Kristi started to notice Laura slow down a bit. She had a hand on her stomach. BrrrrrrrrrlllllllrrrrrRRRRRRRRRPPPPPRRRRRRLLLLLVVVVVVVRRRRT! Kristi's hair ruffled from the force at which the fart escaped from Laura. "Eep! Sorry! It jus-" "Don't worry, just keep moving." They reached the top of the stairwell and headed towards the toilets. Once inside, they noticed that the toilets were packed. The cubicles were all full. Kristi sighed. "Should I-" BBBLLLLLLLLLRRRRRRVVVRRRRRRRRPPPPPPMMMMMMRRRRRRRRLLLLLLRRRRRUUUUMMMMMMMPPLLRRVVT! Kristi turned in shock as Laura ripped a disturbingly wet, bubbly fart. It droned on for well over a minute. During this time, everyone occupying the toilets rushed out in shock and disgust. Kristi could only watch dumbfounded at the truly monstrous fart. She tried hard not to grin to broadly, but she couldn't help it. It was so hot! Before the explosion ended, Laura was already making her way to a stall. Kristi took the stall next to Laura's. BLLRRT! BRRUMPT! PRRRVVVRRRLLT! Kristi listened to Laura's farts as she tried pulling down her leggings. They were fragmented and desperate. PLLRRVVT! MMMBLAPT! rrrrrRRRRMMMMBLRT! Out of Kristi's own butt came several farts of her own as she unzipped her jeans. It didn't feel like long ago she'd been pooping herself, and now she was on her second dump of the day. Their butts hit their porcelain seats at the same time. PPPRRRRRRRVVVVVLLLLLLRRRRRRRRRRRR-CRRRRCLLRRRRRPPPPSHHHLLLLUUUURRRRRBBBLLLLLLRRRRRRRBBLLRRR! Brrrrrrooooo-RRRRRRRLLLLRRRmmmmbbbRRRRVVV-CLRRRCCRRRRRLLLRRRRRR! Thick, gloopy diarrhea poured out of Laura like a volcanic eruption, while out of Kristi came a series of chunky, soft brown logs. Both bowel movements dropped into the bowls at alarming rates, but Laura's was by far more violent. PllllrrrrRRRRRRRRRBBBLLLLLRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-PLOPLLRRRSHBBRRRRT! BRRrrrrUUUrrrrruuummbllrrrrrrrvvvvt! Laura's stream of shit continued, while Kristi worked on relieving some of her pent-up gas. The smell in the toilet was truly horrendous. "How're you holding up, Laura?" Kristi asked through her fart. "I'm fine, I'm more worried about the toilet. I think I've got one more bout in me..." BBBRRRRRLLLLLRRRRRRSHHHHHRRRRRBBBRRRRPPPPT! A final round of thick sludge dropped from Laura's backside. The girls wiped up, and Kristi had a quick chance to admire her dump before flushing it. It had blocked out all the water in the bowl, and was in sloppy mounds. Not wanting to linger too long, she pulled the flush. After some grumbling from the drains, the evidence of the movement was gone, save for the smell and the skidmarks on the side of the bowl. Kristi exited and washed her hands. She noticed Laura was still in her cubicle. "Hey, are you alright?" "HUH?! Oh, uh, one slight problem... the toilet's clogged..." Laura was totally mortified at the mess she had made. The bowl was just below overflowing point with copious amounts of brown, liquid shit. It was a spectacle as much as it was embarrassing. "Well, just leave it Laura, just leave it to the cleaners. There's nothing you can do about it here." Laura guiltily exited her cubicle, unable to look Kristi in the eyes. She washed her hands and swiftly exited. Kristi followed her girlfriend outside, where she saw her sat on a bench, head in hands. "Laura..." Kristi was at a loss for words. She sat down next to her. "Hey, come one, talk to me Laura..." Laura looked up at Kristi, tears falling from her eyes, making her makeup run. She sobbed in Kristi's arms. "I blew it! I totally fucked up our date! It was all going fine, and then I messed it all up with my FUCKING lactose intolerance, and I'm totally embarrassed! I'm a wreck, I'm a FAILURE!" Kristi was totally speechless. Holding Laura in her arms, she held her close and whispered: "But I'm still here, babe..." Laura looked up at Kristi. Her face was totally unreadable. All Laura knew was that being held in the comfort of Kristi's arms was the best she'd felt in a long time, and yet still the worst. "How can you still want to be with me after- after-" "Laura... I love you. That's how. You feel embarrassed, like life couldn't get any worse. You hate yourself. I know, because I've been there. And I know what it's like to be judged and loathed for who you are. Laura, I've never told a girlfriend this before... But I'm always anxious. Always jittery. But, from experience and years of anxiety, I've learned to ignore those feelings. Laura, I'm going to come clean about something personal to me. Are you okay with knowing?" Laura had calmed down. She saw the vulnerability in Kristi's eyes, as if what she was about to say was difficult to come to terms with. "Go ahead." Kristi took a deep breath. "The thing is... I have a fart fetish. I didn't want to tell you because it makes me seem shallow - like the only reason I'm dating you is because you fart. But that's not true. The truth is, I really enjoyed our date today, and I want to keep seeing you. But I understand if you don't like the idea of me having an attraction to your far-" Kristi was cut off mid sentence. Laura was now lip-locked and tongue tied in a kiss with Kristi. It was a passionate yet sombre kiss. The couple fell into it, lasting for several seconds. As far as they cared, the moment could have lasted forever.
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beautyindisguise00 · 4 years ago
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First depressing/emotional event in your life?
Sunday evening October 11, 2020 @5:23PM
The very firsts......:
Who was your first kiss?:  my boyfriend
What was your first word?: dont remember. haha When and where did you first learn about sex?: probably the basic stuff as a freshman in high school from what i could remember. i was so innocent and clueless that i thought that making out was considered sex. hahaha but i learned the details as a senior in high school from reading stupid fanfic then did my own research. hahahahaha
If a girl, when was your first period?: seventh grade during spring break
If a boy, when was your first erection?:
Who was your first celebrity crush?:  zac efron as troy from high school musical. haha
How did you and your #1 meet?: i met him at church camp that both our churches attended every summer. 
First depressing/emotional event in your life?: during the beginning months of my senior year in high school i had very high hopes and expectations of how my senior year was going to be. i was gonna have a boyfriend to spend and celebrate my senior year with, i was going to attend all my senior events, and have so many hangouts with my friends. but then i realized that i was not attracting the right kind of guys. i had many friends and was in so many friend groups but i did not have a close group of friends because all my friends had their own close groups while i was hopping from one group to another cause i was just so “friendly” with everyone. i did not have a good relationship with my sister. we fought all the time. i started to doubt myself that i wasnt good enough. i wasn’t pretty enough. i was where i wanted to be and i wasnt who i wanted to be. i couldn’t sleep because my mind would evaluate my life and i would be reminded of how i suck and how my life sucked. then i let go of my relationship with God which was the last straw. from then on i barely slept, i went through the motions with everything. i yelled at everyone. i talked crap about everyone. i didnt feel anything for a long time. i wanted to be alone and i wanted to be in the dark. wow, what a crazy time but i’ve learned so much from that.
What band was your first favorite?: one direction. haha. i remember i didnt want to like them at first because they were british (well most of them), but then i fell in love with liam payne the rest of the boys. still a big fan today!
The last things you happened to do:
Where did your last kiss take place?: outside of my boyfriend’s uncle’s house by my car before i was going to take off after lunch
What was the last thing you threw in the garbage?: clorax wipe.
When was the last time you washed your face?:  this morning when i woke up
Are you and your best friend better off as lovers?: nah, we’re great as besties
Do you only want the best wishes for your ex?: of course
Have you ever really worn a little black dress?: yesss. that night at the club was a night to remember! hahaha
What's the color of the hair on your arms?: black
What do you think when someone tells you to "be classy"?: no one has told me to “be classy” but i’ve been told “oh, you’re so classy”
What do you think of when you hear the word "pussy"?: depends on the content of which they are using it and if they’re being respectful and mature, if not, then im no longer listening to you
Quick, what's the first word that comes to mind when i say "curly"?: hair
Have you ever literally had the breath knocked out of you?: yes. just my cheerleading days when we would stunt
What are you gonna do tomorrow?: go to work
When does school start for you (if still in school)?:
Did you ever think about dropping out of school?: i have for a little bit when i was in college when things got tough but then i thought about my parents and just wanted to make them proud
Do you like sausage?: i like certain sausages only
Or tacos? :P: loooove tacos
How's your hair right now?: half of it is clipped up
What would you do if a zombie wandered into the room you're in right now?: uhm, i’d fight it hoping to run out. if not, im screwed.
What would you do if your best friend punched you in the liver?: lay on the ground trying to recover then ask what the heck?!
Do you pass gas a lot?: sometimes. haha and they’re usually silent ones
Or are you more of a burper?: mhm, no, not really
Do you secretly like the smell of your own farts? lol: nope
If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?: sushi! like really good sushi!
Do you have an alarm clock?: yes. my phone and an actual alarm clock for when my phone doesnt charge at night
If so, what does it play when it wakes you up?: my actual alarm clock just lights up and beeps.
I gotta ask, what's your fave song at the moment?: as of recent: i love you boy by bae suzy. hahahaha
Look at your feet. What do you see?: my white painted toe nails
How about smell? nothing right now
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