#but sometimes you can't control other people's dumb bullshit

[shesgonnachangetheworld]

i swear every article about how men are shifting rightward is like "democrats are ~losing male voters~ by treating women like human beings who also vote. why aren't they offering up free sex slaves to incels on a silver platter? is it because they're bad at politics? it must be because they're bad at politics"

[respectthepetty]

Because I think it would be really interesting and funny - can you rank the Pit Babe characters on your Alan&Pete scale? I'm curious to see where you're at with some of them lmao. Least to Favorite (though I know who your fave already is, lol).

Only if you want to tho, lol.

@slayerkitty, honestly, this list could just be these two lying bitches:

Big Red is not on this list since he is the big bad, but since I have no idea what the plot actually is, take all of this with a grain of salt. I wrote that I think all of them have superpowers since Big Red was collecting them like X-Men's William Stryker for his super mutant army, so I think Charlie's superpower is mind control, and I think Way's is controlling people's emotions.

WHICH PISSES ME OFF!

Babe was the prized super kid, so I think Big Red is pulling out all the stops to get his trophy racer back including sending all the other super kids to manipulate Babe with their superpowers, so let me rank them from dead-to-me to love-of-my-life:

The One I'm Ready to Box - Charles

Charles keeps moving Barbie's head and body to face him. He never lets Barbie turn away from him. Then, when Barbie is clearly upset, Charles continues to kiss him, which is why I think he his mind controlling Barbie. When his arm was in the sling, Babe could push him away before Charles could start his mind control bullshit. Sometimes, it's noticeable when Babe's face softens, which should come off as sweet like "ah, look how he drops his defenses around Charlie" BUT LOOK AT THE WAY HE DROPS HIS DEFENSES AROUND CHARLIE! Charles doesn't even know how to drive, yet Babe gave him a car. Charlie's dick game may be strong, but mind control is stronger.

10/10 Petes - It's on sight.

The One I'm Disappointed In - Waymond

Waymond had me the first two episodes. I was in his second-lead-syndrome corner, then he flipped the script in the third episode, and now I can't unsee the red flags. In episode four, I noticed twice how he touched Barbie, which prompted a shift in Barbie's demeanor. Much like Charles, I would love to believe that Waymond brings happiness to Babe's life, which is the reason Babe looks less sad when Waymond touches him, but HE LOOKS LESS SAD WHEN WAYMOND TOUCHES HIM! I think Waymond is controlling Babe's emotions, yet Babe still doesn't love him. It's the only saving grace for Waymond. Charles is using his powers to make Barbie love him, but Waymond isn't.

9/10 Alans - I'm gonna yell at him, then punch him.

The One Who Is Obvious - Jeffery

Jeffery is going to be with Alan, so I can't fully hate him since I love Alan. His superpower is apparently seeing the future, which makes sense why he was opposed to touch in the second episode, and that makes him useful in my touch=superpower theory for Charles and Waymond, so I hate him a little less. BUT if he had anything to do with Barbie's car going up in flames, so he could ensure Charles got a racing spot, -murder-

8/10 Petes - One wrong move and I'll end him where he stands.

The One Who Just Sucks - Winifred

Winifred is just a little bitch, but God is he annoying. I don't wanna know what he is saying because I'm sure it's as annoying as his face whining all the time. Only five episodes in, and the man still ain't tired of getting his ass handed to him by Barbie and Kimberly. Whatever he is plotting is dumb. Whatever he is complaining about is stupid. Whatever he is doing is already a failure.

7/10 Alans - I'm gonna push him into a real Christmas Tree, so he'll get scratched up and cry about it.

The One Who Is Gonna Suck - Decanus

Dean has yet to do anything solid, which means he is just waiting to fuck us over. I haven't seen him race or work on a car, so I'm thinking he'll be pissed that Charles is doing all the things he wanted to do, and screw over the entire team regardless of the race's outcome. Jealously makes people do crazy things, but he is going to be with Winner, so homie is going to go full crazy.

6/10 Petes - Anyone who fucks Whiny Winifred deserves to be slapped.

The Ones Who Ain't Loyal - North & Sonic

I simply don't trust them. They are too colorful in a show that's whole visual plot hinges on red versus blue. They need to pick a color. NOW.

5/10 Alans - I'll threaten them on work time, so they'll know I'm not afraid to lose my job if it means I can fight them.

The One Who Is Gonna Kill His Shitty Boss! - Kenta

Why is he still fucking with Big Red?! He would be much higher on this list but when Babe was fighting Big Red (both times), Kenta looked sad. If the flashback wouldn't have just showed Babe as a kid with his dad, I'd think Kenta was his actual brother. The way Babe yelled at him in the parking lot makes me think they have a long history, so I'm hoping once Kenta teams up with Kimberly, he'll be the good guy I know he can be.

4/10 Petes - If he kills his boss, he'll be number one in my heart forever.

The Pretty One - Peter

Pete is like a Lord of the Rings' elf. He is pretty. He is an archer. He is kinda sus. And he is the perfect ally. Much like those beautiful elves, I don't think he joined up with the blue team because he is a kind dude. This is for his own personal gain, which means he must have beef with Big Red; therefore, he has a superpower too. I think he heard Kenta or smelled Kenta's cigarette because Peter didn't turn around until Kenta turned around. He knew Kenta was there. And he sensed Waymond's emotion-changing powers too, so I'm okay with them being together (as long as he punches Waymond too).

3/10 Alans - Watching his every move . . . because I think he is pretty. Not because I think is he bad.

The One Who Will Solve It - Kimberly

Kim is a real one. He presents as red. He works for the reds. He is a red, and isn't ashamed of it. He hasn't faked his color, and in a perfect world, he'd be with Babe. I don't think he has a superpower, but if he did, it would be the power of common sense. He hates his coworker, Winifred, as any sane person would, so he gets the passenger seat in my car. He also got a handshake from Babe, so he already made friends with Babe. They would make a perfect pair. Barbie x Kimberly Ghost Ship is being captained by me.

2/10 Petes - We're frenemies!

The Main One - Barbie

Babe is the title character, and he is being manipulated and controlled by everyone around him, but . . . the boy is un pendejo. The first two episodes, he was a little too macho, and in episode three and four, he was un pendejo. He argued with Kenta when Kenta could have just kidnapped him, then he punched everyone on his way to Big Red's office, which makes no sense to walk directly up to the man who is going all out to get you back. He is in need of a good hug that does NOT lead to sex, and for someone to tell him he is more than his superpower (which is . . . being awesome at everything?).

1/10 Kanghans - I'm upset at him and for him all at once.

The One I Love - Alan

My man has committed no wrongs. He is amazing. He is fantastic. He is beauty. He is grace. He should slap all these fucking liars in the face.

But he won't because he is too pure for this world.

No Petes. No Alans. No Kanghan. Just love.

[beanghostprincess]

What are your thoughts on lusopp? (Luffy x Usopp)

i just woke up so if my words are all over the place that's probably why! being productive right here! waking up early! somebody shoot me! fighting the urge to go back to sleep so i can reply to your silly lil awesome questions! i need a coffee.

AND!!! I REALLY LIKE THE SHIP!!! (just saw you're on impel down so i won't spoil anything!)

i mean, it's not my favorite ship and i'm not crazy about it like, idk, my fiancé is crazy about them (but again, she's crazy about zosan and lawlu and i'm not so we have to deal with each other's bullshit all the time). but i find their relationship really, really interesting and complex and cool to explore. i was just writing a fic about them being besties and super clingy, gonna cry. baby boys.

i personally see them more as just best friends, but hey! if there are cute fanarts and content i'm not going to scroll away!! it's a good and cute ship!!! they're bffs almost instantly and usopp's intelligence really disappears when he's with luffy which is, not only hilarious but extremely refreshing to see. let the anxious boy be dumb and reckless!! they're so chaotic!!

not to mention that it's not only their dynamic that makes them good, but the whole water 7/enies lobby thing. i fear that if i talk about this much i might start sobbing. but, like,,, their fight is the first time we see luffy actively cry on screen. we see luffy losing control of his crew, something he used to have control over. we see luffy lost and act impulsively and not knowing what to do because his best friend and sniper is about to go away and his heart fucking breaks into a million little pieces. because luffy sees usopp's potential and he wants him with the crew, but he can't do anything to help if usopp doesn't believe in himself. and also, the merry, which is another thing luffy loses control over and has to act like a logical captain about it but we all know it's heartbreaking for him too. and then there's usopp, who feels inferior and not worthy of being part of this amazing crew. even though he has shown over and over again to be part of this little family. he just feels like he doesn't belong here. and, you know, he says he's angry because of the merry but we all know the fight isn't about that.

so, we all agree that water 7 is very very peak lusopp (and sanuso, but tbf it's just peak usopp in general because he has great scenes with everyone. especially the monster trio, shout out to my boy zoro), and then enies lobby is when they make up and it's beautiful and heartbreaking and the way usopp yells at luffy to stand up and fight makes me want to curl up on the floor and sob for ages and ages and ag-

and i would go into detail about luffy's character but i don't want to spoil anything, so let's just focus on usopp here:

lusopp's dynamic works well both as a friendship and as a ship, mainly because they're both on the same page when it comes to silly shenanigans. we see them actively enjoying being with each other and doing stupid things together and that's just,,, so sweet. but also, usopp is one of those people that have to ground luffy sometimes and tell him "fuck, no. haha. we're so not doing that" because despite acting silly, he's pretty much more logical and rational than luffy is. but, you know, the reason he's like that most of the time is because he's scared of fucking dying (which i understand. i'd be scared too in that crew. i'm glad nami is always agreeing with him with these things), and he has to be the one to stop luffy (try to, at least. never really works) from doing extremely dangerous things. which is both hilarious and actually pretty cute to watch because it shows us how well usopp knows luffy. it's obvious that they're best friends. dude knows what luffy is going to do minutes before luffy even thinks about doing it. and luffy really, really admires and loves usopp's abilities and strengths and brains. all the things usopp is insecure about? luffy loves them!!!

and, you know, it's a good ship because they have that sort of bff energy, but if you make it romantic and angsty and more intimate? that's just better! i feel like their ship is just- those friendships that turn into romantic relationships but their dynamic doesn't really change at the end of the day? and i find that really endearing.

luffy makes usopp see the best in himself and makes him want to improve as a pirate to follow his dream and feel like he belongs in the crew. usopp makes luffy be a bit more grounded to reality whenever he needs to, and he was the first one to make luffy realize that, well, fuck, he's the captain of a ship and he needs to be responsible and make harsh decisions.

but now that they're together again, luffy is sooo not going to let him go ever again. and usopp will never try to do so because he just wants to keep fighting for him!!!

it's such an endearing and funny and angsty ship. i think i just don't really ship them much because i'm more of a sanuso/zolu kind of person. but at this point just make it poly and everybody is happy (except nami bc she has to deal with the 4 of them being in love and that would be extremely tiring. somebody bring back vivi for her PLEASE).

but yeah, cute ship. not my favorite but awesome to explore and tbh one of my favorite friendships in this show. very underrated but that's just bc usopp is underrated af and it makes my blood boil with anger and the fury of hell itself. that's for another day, though!

[wishful-seeker]

"If you don't keep your cats indoors and watch every move they make outside you're a horrible owner" is what i keep hearing and when i hear it i feel like these people have never spent there lives rescuing cats from the streets like i have.

Listen closely: some cats are happy inside, and some cats, especially prior strays, are MISERABLE if you keep them inside or on a harness. Some of ypu really need to understand that humans are not the peak species that gets to control all the dumb animals. Cats are not stupid, they are not children, they are animals. Some cats need full freedom outside. You people are telling me to make my cats miserable for the rest of their entire lives without knowing anything about them, me, or the nuances of the situation and that makes you a shitty person. If you stole my cats, and raised them the way you thought was right, they would be terrified of you, they would hate you, and you would make them miserable until they died.

I have cated for cats my ENTIRE life. I know the risks, i know the dangers. And sometimes the perfect rule cannot be fucking followed. Sometimes keeping cats indoors 24/7 is just fucking impossible. Thats NOT a moral failing. Its obvious ypu people have never owned more then like 3 cats, and not a ton of rescued strays. You don't understand that every cat is different and needs different things. Stop attacking pet owners that are literally doing the best possible for their cats because you don't think its good enough. If you really think cats don't feel as complexly as humans then you don't know vats at all. Im not their owner, im their friend an guardian. I do not control them, they choose what they do. They choose to be with me. They choose to follow my rules. They are happy. Yall can't seem to comprehend that the safest option isn't always the best for the animals. Every animal is different. Your golden rule cannot apply to everyone. Why do you people hate others for caring for their animals differently. I think keeping cats inside 24/7 is abuse, but i also understand there is nuances, many cats are happy only being indoors. You don't see me screaming at every photo of a cat of a couch "abuse abuse!" Because i don't fucking know the situation! Idk the cat or owner! And they probably know whats best for their own fucking animals! Yall are actually fucking crazy. And if anyone sends me bullshit im blocking you.

[weebsinstash]

the overturning of Roe v Wade happened and pregnancy felt disgusting and a physical threat to be defeated

I felt that. I an asexual person with zero intention of getting married or having a baby but seeing Roe v Wade, I just... feel the need to have my tubes tied? Which should not even be a thing I consider since I have no plans to have sex. Those radical religious/misogynisitc views that are popping up nowadays just make me feel very disgusted at things that are... Really not horrible. Nothing wrong about being a housewife, or getting pregnant, but the way those incels with a mic talk about women in their podcasts just create very unhealthy relationships between women and "womanhood"/traditionally feminine things.

What's so fucked up is like the exact same people saying shit like "oh these gross LGBTQRSTUV alphabet mafia freaks are trying to groom and molest our kids! How dare they try to say kids need to learn about safe sex and periods and not to send nudes or address sex in any way other than abstinence!" will then turn around say "wow, asexuals? How UNNATURAL. You aren't PROCREATING like GOD INTENDED. You're ALSO somehow grooming our kids" and it's just like. Fuck. Leave people alone about their fucking sexuality and gender presentation.

And then sometimes I try to discuss this with my mom because like we discuss politics a lot and she's, you know, a woman and has raised me and ill seek her perspective as my mom and a woman and an adult, and sometimes she'll just be "oh don't read all that, youre getting upset over trolls, people are just stupid" ok well these stupid people can VOTE and sometimes these stupid people ARE the ones we're voting for!!! Like! I'm so tired of seeing bullshit like Americans saying "haha good on Country XYZ for making it legal to beat those t slurs in public, this is just MODERN WESTERN PROPAGANDA" and I want to scream shit like "India has recognized trans people for over 3000 years you fucking bigoted moron"

Like!!! Ugh!! Should I be furious or sad!!! (Putting the rest under a rm because this gets a little long and I also discuss abortion/miscarriage)

Fucking idiots saying shit like "oh just use birth control there's like 30 kinds" and guess what motherfucker literally the only 100% effective ones involve SURGERY. Even my OWN MOTHER got pregnant on a diaphragm. Fuck you! Fuck you! You think abortions are being used as birth control? I know at least two people who've had them and they can be ABSOLUTELY EXCRUCIATING, I am talking SCREAMING TO STOP THE PROCEDURE KINDS OF PAIN. "Oh women just want to avoid accountability" bitch some of them don't want to DIE, some of them can't raise a disabled child, some of them have diseases and conditions that can't be passed on

I... may have had some risky sex a while back with, minor precautions, ok I'll be the dumb irresponsible slut and say the pull out method was used, and while nothing came of that, obviously, literally my game plan after it happened and post nut clarity hit was "ok well I know if I need an abortion there are people who literally terrorize you outside the clinics so maybe I'll just kill myself". And you know what, I wasn't even intending to do that kind of thing, the unsafe sex, it was just, you know, happened fast and in the heat of the moment, and it happened briefly. Even I, as someone who has never wanted children and FEARED motherhood all my life, made that kind of mistake. And I spent the following three weeks in absolute TERROR waiting for my period, thinking of all the people who would happily force me to carry a child that would no doubt inherit my physical disability, my genetic disorders, and wouldn't be wanted by me or the father (and im not saying that as anything against him we are both very anti kid lol)

It's so upsetting because like, people have different opinions, and in some cases can you really say if an opinion is right or wrong? But so often do I see things that are inhumane, grotesque even. I was reading a story of a woman who was forced to carry a malformed fetus to a full pregnancy where it passed that same day. Here you have a woman who was forced to deliver what was essentially a corpse, the trauma that must have caused her, not just in mind but also in body. 9 months, 9 months of knowing it was being born just to die. And. People were legitimately replying "better that than to be ripped limb from limb inside the womb" that's a specific form of third trimester abortion which wasn't even what she was asking for you fucking idiot. "Better for the baby to know its mother's touch" it literally didn't have a properly formed brain and we don't even know if it could have even SENSED anything besides agony. "I would have wanted to hold my baby before it passed" you would have let a fetus which had abnormalities discovered in the first trimester to fully develop into a child so it could die in horrible pain just for your moral closure?

I read a comment just a few days ago that was legitimately one of the most disgusting things I had ever read and dear God I hope this person was lying but they said "I know a catholic woman who was pregnant and found out her baby would be born terminal and die shortly after birth. She carried it the full pregnancy so she could baptize it" THAT'S ABHORRENT. For you non religious folk, which I am too but I have some secondhand knowledge, the point of baptism is the idea that we are all born into sin and must be like cleansed to be children of God or something like that. And to be blunt I consider this woman an absolute monster and I replied as such.

"She let a newborn baby suffer in agony just so she could dip it in her magic fairy water? And she thinks she's the GOOD GUY?"

It's just. Ugh. I don't even know. I use culture and country as an excuse for religious freedom and sexual and gender expression (ie. Banning trans people from being visible is prejudiced to Indians, Native Americans, Samoans, Judaism, etc) but then people turn around and say "but it's my culture or religion to be homophobic/not allow abortion" and then I just want to say "well you're just an idiot who can't think for themselves then and you need to get with the fucking times :)" like obviously I am not perfect but I believe basic human rights transcends borders and beliefs. Like for example, similar but different, Malaysia is about to literally hang a man just for having a kilo of weed and people are happily saying "don't do the crime if you can't do the time" and its like do you understand it's inherently problematic to just say "their country, their rules" right. Like some places use that as an excuse to keep forms of slavery. Like to circle the argument back around states rights was an argument to try and keep slavery and now states rights is being used as an argument to criminalize abortion?

Like I try not to bring the vibe here down too often but these conversations are important. We as human beings should be helping and protecting each other and I feel a legitimate fear of society approaching some sort of social collapse or civil war. Like even if you're opposed to abortion you should actually still be voting in favor of keeping abortion because, if abortion is outlawed on moral and religious grounds, it will start the ball rolling for banning other medical procedures out of opinion and not fact. You know we already let the insurance companies do that right? Tell people their life savinf treatment isn't covered because they don't deem it medically necessary even though insurance agents arent doctors? Even on my main blog I boosted a post about a person with severe endometriosis who is being denied a hysterectomy because of their weight by the NHS but a private clinic will save them for a price, and meanwhile the endo is impacting organs outside their reproductive system

It's just. God. I'm sorry I guess I went all over the place in this post but everything is so scary now. Transphobia is on the rise, homophobia, racism, gun violence, they keep finding horrible child labor shit like 15 year olds cleaning slaughterhouses, even in my current blue state, red senators are arguing we should let young teens do construction, they're changing legislation on healthcare, on the internet, on student loans, inflation is HUGE NOW, rent is skyrocketing, homelessness is rising, just

It can be hard to keep your head up you know? I try not to be a doom and gloomer but there's legitimately scary shit happening? Like I didn't even touch on climate change and how all of these issues are going to intersect and snowball until our entire species is fucked. I know what I'm voting in 2024 but, it doesn't make anything less terrifying. If we weren't protected before, if we still really aren't now, can we really trust it to happen in the future?

[mmriesoftvat]

kami is not dumb enough to think he's smarter than ren or that he knows more. they're both incredibly similar, having gone through a lot of the same ordeals and trauma. their lives DID veer off though, where ren went through irminsul and erased himself, and kami did not. HOWEVER, their emotions, no matter the outcome are still similar in that they both share a huge lack of trust in people and a huge dislike for their past.

though, kami still feels inclined to protect ren!! not because he's older (what's ~100 years in the grand scheme of life?), and not because he chose a more difficult road, but because he knows that suffering alone isn't worth it. he can't tell ren what to do or how to act because KAMI himself doesn't know! they're both just floundering through their shitty existence with the shitty hand they were dealt, but the difference is kami can support ren.

that's his brother! ren is his family!!!

kami also doesn't want to go back to his own world quite yet. he COULD at any time. he knows that if he were to go back to irminsul and be like "take me home", he could go back and face life a little bit stronger and a little bit wiser. but kami is also stupidly selfish and isn't ready to leave behind the one person who understands most what he's going through. it's not some heightened understanding, but kami can bullshit as well as the next person. he spent time in the fatui too, he lived as a harbinger, he knows things, he's done things. he likes to pretend to impart little nuggets of wisdom, and ren seems to humor him well enough. (or maybe kami actually does know what he's talking about sometimes, and it helps that it honestly seems to benefit ren.)

but that's why he's here with ren! they might not NEED each other. more specifically, ren might not need kami, but that support system, especially with someone who can empathize, is a whole lot better than going through it alone. plus, who needs therapy when you can be murder twins together? that's the best kind of therapy!

l;sjksdl;fk i just think so much about these two. i think so much about how much kami actually loves ren and would do anything for him. he can offer his own wisdom with his own thoughts and life experience and hope it gives ren some perspective, and he can also be an obnoxious prick to give ren something else to think about and do instead of falling into a depressed stupor over things neither of them can control. as long as they're together, kami DOESN'T have to worry about either of them getting hurt. he can see that ren is slowly getting happier, and surviving well enough. eventually kami might have to leave and go back home, but for now, he's not going to worry about that.

because he still wants to help, he still NEEDS to help. he needs to be certain 100% that ren doesn't need him anymore. but as long as ren continues to trust him and even want to return the favor, kami is going to take that as permission to stay put and continue to protect ren the only way he knows how: by sheer anemo kick ass power.

they're brothers, your honor.

[everything-is-crab]

Most of the advice psychologists gave me to be able handle my anxiety (when I first started showing symptoms) better was pathetic. Actually idk about improve but those tips definitely made me feel worse than better.

First was meditation. And I absolutely hated meditation. Trying to quieten my mind and have no thoughts in a completely silent environment early in the morning? I might as well try to turn my head 180 degrees.

Another one was even worse and it was apparently meant to help me "relax". She told me to lie down and close my eyes and try to relax my muscles while not trying to hold any barrier to any kind of thoughts. No matter how bad. Are you dumb? Most of the time it ended up in me dealing with another panic/anxiety attack after letting my brain go on whatever train of thoughts it wanted to go on.

And the pills were even worse. I disassociated a lot because of them.

And I absolutely hated and still hate the way my mother talks about mental health in general (but those are your typical Indian parents). But she was absolutely right about me wasting time and money behind this psychiatry bullshit. Today, I hate the entire institution of psychiatry after reading more about it. Bad experiences of other people I haven't shared but were absolutely jarring to read about.

Strangers on the Internet gave me better advice and support for free than so called professionals I paid in hundreds of rupees per session. And I did some introspection by myself slowly day by day. Fast forward many years later today, I am still struggling in some ways I can't control (nightmares and flashbacks, probably symptoms of ptsd), but I can safely say I am a much happier and functional person today. And with the help of my friends, some people on the Internet and my own efforts. Many days I feel completely normal even. I think what some people need in their life is a community. And a fucking life. That's it. You just slowly learn how to pull your shit together. Obviously I am making it sound easier but this was the only way out for myself.

Maybe therapy is a good thing for some people whose problems can't be so easily solved by themselves and for people with certain mental illnesses. But after reviewing it myself and hearing other people's reviews as well, I firmly believe therapy can sometimes make a person worse in some way or the other. I hate the entitled and careless attitude some therapists try to install in you. The "I don't owe anyone anything" mentality crowd if you know what I am talking about.

I think sometimes you just need a better community around you to help you improve your life. Or maybe sometimes the situation is just bad and you just need to ride it out.

[jokeshappinesemotion]

Google what the fuck why the fuck is that Diddy is the only suggestion in my phone stop this bullshit I don't wanna see anything about Diddy I don't care what he did has nothing to do with me, so remove this as something that's so common on my phone can I see things that I don't know about and at least learn something. This is kind control, I'm gonna stop using this Google pixel and any other device, I'm going all ape , cave man , this has just been tiring and exhausting, why the fuck is Diddy so important

And why are you wanting me to know about his business can't you just rock up the fucker since Google you got all the files more receipts to get from you but you are busy suggestion videos to me which won't help me the only thing it's doing is that it's telling me that I can fuck kids , you are making us start looking at child porn and I'm sure this is how Diddy started he must have heard it somewhere maybe it was done to him

I've never been raped as a kid so don't twist my mind with stupid suggestions, this is not okay come one now who wants to know all about this niggas behavior not that I'm judging but that's his life try to make this as private as possible for the sake of our kids and also everybody else , we all have good and evil but don't turn our attention to this sinister it's of no use you have failed us . Americans you are very dumb sometimes I wonder how you invented science I'm sure it was Africans who did it and you store it . Otherwise no one in their senses would do this not Diddy and his compliances but the people spreading his news like a virus it's a shame

[deadlynyghtshayde]

I am genuinely so damn sick of people treating everything with the same level of seriousness. There are visible distinctions between something that reflects an individual want/view/habit - e.g. when I'm alone I do things like eat dinner in a more deconstructed/snacky way. Vs I eat this way as an intentional means of dieting and controlling my intake. I will make it a marker of "genuinely caring about yourself" and being "too widdwe to be able to eat more"

E.g. 2 I'm going to be a little less than smart with my money for this paycheck, but I know if I cut back on x,y,z I'll be able to make it to my next. I'm sure other people do the same money juggling. Vs I'll go online and make a video about how "I dumb gender and I no understand how money work. Here's how I convince myself it do."

And to present both as equally harmful is just such total bullshit.

There is a constant conversation about how people who are discriminated against can't win, and I think the overpolicing of every stupid thing they choose to talk about is just another example of it. For the love of all that is cats, my mom and I have eaten what we called "picky dinner" for YEARS. Getting to be a little reckless with your paycheck every so often is part of the joy that comes with knowing another one is on the way on a set date. Believe me, I haven't had that set date in a long time. It's definitely a better feeling to know when something is coming in.

People trying to make a communal joke about what they do when they're not being perceived - eat bits and pieces for dinner instead of a whole meal depending on how they're feeling that night, know that if they put that one bill payment off for 3 days they can afford the late fee once, that way they can grab those really soft looking slippers that might make them feel good for a while.

Doing those things as an individual - talking about those things. That's not a problem. Trying to make those things a norm - turning them into expectations. That's when it gets bad. Attempting to indoctrinate.

And the problem with every other damn video that comes out being a thinkpiece about these things, is that 90% of the time the mouthpiece is leaving out the nuance.

No. Not every one on one conversation needs an asterisk about who it doesn't count for, but if you're making a detailed, hour plus video about these things, you'd think you could manage some nuance instead of jumping every aspect of the conversation in as having the same level of detriment.

It gets to a point where people aren't individuals, and we're never free from perception. You can't eat a picky dinner as a woman, that's "girl dinner" and it's playing into the alt-right babyfication, and betraying any strides that have been made for women. Same goes for juggling your finances for a paycheck to treat yourself. That's "girl-math" and only serves to infantilize women as a whole. Being frustrated and exhausted with the treadmill lies of capitalism and dreaming of not having to work? Well, that's wanting to strip our progress back to pre-suffrage. And wanting not all movies rated past pg-13 to have sex scenes - sometimes it's just gratuitous- honestly, how dare you try to reinstate the Hayes code, you pearl-clutching extremist prude?

At some point we have to remember that these conversations exist in the levels of nuance. There is no fully black or white way to feel about these things, and trying to exist in a state of absurd purity where you only ever hold the right opinions on things is building a foundation on unstable stilts stood in tidial sand during low tide. You won't always be on the right side, there is NO objective right side to most of these issues.

Just fuck offffffffffff with your perfectionist bullshit.

[colinlegameboy]

Yammering About Forgive Me Father

You ever just have that one game that you can't seem to finish for a variety of dumb reasons? It has nothing to do with how hard the game is. It has nothing to do with you not liking the game. Rather, constant glitches and crashes just completely sour your drive to keep going.

This is what happened to me with Forgive Me Father. A while back, I had put it on my Steam Deck to play during a vacation. I got pretty deep into it, and it then decided to crash and not boot back up. I think it wasn't verified on deck yet, so I chalked it up to that and moved on.

Then, recently, since it had been enough time, I decided to try it again on my desktop. Things were going fine, then an issue that had been plaguing my PC for months reared its ugly head- My monitors would flash off and on, and the game I was playing would crash, sometimes to the point of having to hard restart my PC.

This led me to finally try to discern what in the everloving hell was actually going on. After attempts at driver updates, and a BIOS update that kinda freaked me out because I had to download shit from a third party website due to how old my motherboard was, nothing had worked.

Finally, an IT friend suggested a fix that was extremely dumb- Updating my controller's firmware. Lo and behold, that was the fix. Other people had reported similar crashes and similar lack-of-crashes once updating their controller. Forgive me for sounding like An Old, but WHY DO WE HAVE TO UPDATE CONTROLLERS NOW.

Anyway, because of all this nonsense getting in the way of me actually finishing the game, I couldn't really feel great about the game as a whole. I couldn't appreciate how good of a boomer shooter it was, the feel of the weapons, the thick Lovecraftian atmosphere. Instead I was focused on just trying to get the game done and put all this bullshit behind me, which was a tad hard to do with how surprisingly long the game turned out to be.

Do I recommend Forgive Me Father? Yes, absolutely. Tech Issues LeGameboy is an anomaly and should be ignored. But god did it all just go and ruin my experience.

[sparklywastelandmentality]

So, this is the first time I have done something like this as far as -actually- deciding to just vent. I love to write and I love to journal and unfortunately sometimes shit happens in life that really just gets under my skin, or I just had a thought about nothing in particular that my mind goes down rabbit holes on that I happen to find interesting. However, I don't always have my journal and pen with me whilst I'm out and about. Sometimes, that shit's a bummer. So yeah, essentially I have decided to come here and talk through some stuff.

Probably like most people, I have problems with emotion management. Anger, more specifically. For as long as I can remember, I have lived most in anger. I imagine I am not alone in this boat. Having been in and out of therapy off and on since I was a teenager, they have all concluded that I have Manic BiPolar Depression. I guess that's different from 'regular' depression somehow? Granted the way I perceive an emotion (whatever it may be) could be different from how my neighbor or husband feels the same emotions. Everyone's different. Living with BPD feels like you're a visitor in your own body. It feels like you're only allowed to pop in and say 'hi' when it gets bored or tired. When I feel that feeling I get a small glimmer of relief until it decides that it wants me to go back in this little box in the corner of my mind. All the high days are great when they happen and low days are still pretty rough, yet have become easier to manage (without medications) as time has continued to drone on. Feeling like I'm not allowed to have control over my emotions and feelings further perpetuates and deepens the loop of what most would call "self-sabotage".

As time has gone on, I have found it easier with time for me to get along with myself for a lack of a better way of putting it. Much like the rest of the world, my upbringing was fucking bullshit. I can't and am REFUSING to speak for anyone else when I say that my flesh portals into this realm were absolute, hot garbage. Both are also to blame for ALMOST EVERYTHING wrong with me. When it came to handling anger, my father had no issue telling you what was on his mind and how dumb you were for trying to do shit that was ill-explained in the beginning prior to starting tasks. He was a screamer and leaned towards the physical side of expressing this emotion in particular. If I were to -try- and take the time to explain to you some of the stories; this post would never end. My mother, on the other hand, when dealing with her anger she's a massively petty and childish individual. Just imagine the stereotypical high school mean girl, add meth and about fifteen to eighteen years and there ya go. Some of the fights we have had in the past had ended with me walking away because I don't want my fucking heartbroken by literally the one person we are all just supposed to trust from day one, by saying and quote, "I was only a bad parent because you didn't come with the instruction manual when you were born." Like, excuse me, bitch? CHILDREN HAVE NEVER EVER come with instruction Manuel's and it should NEVER be the oldest siblings' responsibility to 'step up' to the plate and raise the other sibling(s). Unfortunately, none of us got that choice. And if you were/are in a situation like that, I'm sorry and my heart hurts for you. As forementioned with my father, my mother would probably have to have her own post... DON'T DO METH KIDS!

So yeah, with those two 'shining' examples of homosapiens getting me started in life and watching the way they handled their anger, that's what I thought was okay and acceptable, and having to spend so far eighty-six percent of my life alone, I am having to work super fucking hard to make sure that I don't end up like them and I would say so far so good. Growing up I had a dream about becoming a professional wrestler and I am so thankful to whatever ultimate power there is out there, that I actually get to wake up and be excited about life because I get to say I am the only one in the immediate family that has had a dream as crazy as this (maybe they did, I don't give a shit.) In a weird way, I feel like I'm above them. That may sound crude to those who only read this and will never have the misfortune of meeting my mother (father died, just waiting on the last one to go at this point.) "You shouldn't talk about her that way, she's your mom." Yeah well, just the same as she shouldn't have picked meth over her kids. If she decides to get clean, good for her, if not, still no skin off my shoulders there pal. I'm living my dream, she smoked hers away. She had the chance when she was a junior in High school to become a full-out actual model. She fucked that off by getting her a tattoo just because she wanted it -in the moment- without it thinking about the toll it would have on her life later down the road.

Yeah, I know we're all fucked up, shaken never stirred and always sit a little too far over to the left, and everyone has issues that are similar if not pretty close. I just don't know anyone in real life that I feel I can talk to about these types of things. I would talk to my husband about it but I stopped doing so when I started listening to myself as I talked. Repetition, Repetition, Repetition. I got self-conscious about talking the poor man's ear off about the same stupid shit. As his wife I am supposed to be there and make sure his life is positive and not the other way around. I guess in a weird way, it would be kind of nice to know that I'm not alone right now. In my day to day activities I am the only person I know of who has BPD. Shit is lonely. Almost isolating.

Sorry for the long post if you made it this far, neat! Thanks for indulging me, friends.

[thousandyearphantombunker]

this is also a problem with the x men, it gets even worse if you consider that in a lot of stories with the oppressed mage/supers trope the characters with powers sometimes can't control their powers and are dangerous to other people therefore it ends up justifying the discrimination- which is the last thing you want to do. If the oppression is justifiable then it's no longer oppression- and before anyone comes at me with bullshit about this there's a difference between the shitty justifications for ableism vs the actual justifications for getting for 'oppressing' mages! How the hell do you even oppress people who can make your head explode with a thought? How the hell do you oppress people who can control a fundamental force like magnetism or can use telekinesis to reconstruct matter on the molecular level? I as a disabled person can tell you it's not your ability that takes away opportunities, it's a lack of ability. Its insane how many opportunities and doors would open up for mages, because of the advantages they'd have. if magic actually existed no religion would condemn it they'd embrace it and center around it. If the witches during the witch trials had magic they'd all have escaped because you wouldn't actually be able to kill them. It's like ridiculing someone for being too pretty or too athletic- people ridicule people with actual disadvantages like physical weakness/arthritis or a learning disability those are objectively disadvantages and difficulties, 'bad' things that ableist people have an easy time coming up 'justifications' for blatant discrimination. It's not a power if it was autism or Crohn's provided an advantage then people with these disorders wouldn't be getting bullied or facing discrimination. It provides people with disorders like these disadvantages and people use those as justification but its still oppression- it isn't justified because those justifications are used to make the lives of people with these problems harder and doesn't take into account the systemic shit that makes being disabled harder outside of the limitations your disabilities already give you. Having a contingency plan against someone who can level city blocks with a tiny sneeze is not the same as a college rejecting a student with special needs because 'if they have these problems then they're too *dumb, weak, lazy etc' to come here' and ignoring any accommodations they could give a student with disabilities because its too hard. One person is a threat and whether they like it or not people deserve protection and they aren't oppressed. The other is someone who can definitely be accommodated for and has traits that put THEM in danger but again can be accomodated for and needing help to feal with those disadvantages isnt an actual justification like a lot of people think it is. It's Darwinism and it's never justified ever because compassion and helping others is a strength and disadvantages can be worked around. So no it's not the same as firing someone with a disability because they 'can't do x' because one is actually dangerous and the pther person can usually get some sort of help.

Being gay doesn't provide any advantages either though unlike disability it also doesn't provide a handicap so people have to make shit up to justify their homophobia- shit like- 'all gay men are pedos and lesbians are confused traumatized misandrists and they're all mentally unsound' etc. it' fear mongering. You can apply this to racial inequality and discrimination as well. People will make shit up about how 'black men have smaller brains and are all rapists' etc. being black doesn't provide people with any physical or mental disadvantages but also no special abilities like the ability to jump farther and shoot lasers out their noses. Just like witches didn't have any actual magic- it isn't even just about the fact that when you give them powers and make these groups actually dangerous you justify the 'oppression' (it doesn't even count as oppression anymore because these characters are actually threats even if they are nice). No it's that your somehow oppressing someone who can turn into a dragon and eat you- how the hell dou make up and enforce laws against those people? Why would you turn down a worker with super strength that can do so much? I don't hate these stories like x men or whatever but any point they make about discrimination is moot. I'm autistic (provides me with a fuck ton of problems that while they can be worked around people instead like to use to cause me grief because helping people is too much effort) I'm gay (and while that does not effect my abilities in anyway I don't get anything special out of it meaning that I still don't get the power to avoid getting shit about it) and I'm Latina (same as they gay thing). I'd like to state im not some angry traumatized girl who is actively being oppressed and abused because I'm not. But I know how oppression against people like me works and because I understand that I understand why this trope makes no fucking sense. It's not a story ruiner but it is a message ruiner. Zootopia's anti racist message doesn't work because predators are actual threats to herbivores. The x men's anti homophobia or racial inequality etc message doesn't work because I honestly just wonder how the fuck you oppress people like jean grey- its like putting superman in handcuffs or poisoning him with arsenic- it doesn't work. Newsflash if the people accused of witchcraft during the witch trials had actual supernatural powers like being able to summon fireballs or shapeshift not only would they have escaped being burnt at the stake or crushed to death or drowned via using their powers to escape these mundane punishements, the witch trials would have never started in the first place! Again I like zootopia and x men and as much a I rant about TOH I don't hate it but they all kind of...accidentally justified the discrimination in their stories which is bad

This article explains it all pretty well and probably better than I did:https://mythcreants.com/blog/the-problem-with-oppressed-mages/

oh btw the existence of real witches with magical powers destroys any commentary toh was trying to make about the witch trials.

because guess what? the witch trials were just a glorified form of misogyny. it wasn't directed towards people with actual magical powers (obviously) or even people with any power or autonomy at all. the witch trials was a way to make sure that women stayed powerless and any attempt to be an individual, outside of social expectations, would get them killed.

so applying all of that to a setting where witches are real and can defend themselves defeats the whole point. yes, these witches are still nice people (mostly) but the commentary about puritan dogma and the witch trials doesn't really hold up because they're mixing it with fantasy. witches aren't an oppressed group, they are not helpless and tortured in the way women were in the era of witch trials.

i think real world social commentary could definitely be applied to a fantasy setting and carried out efficiently, but not in this instance. toh trashes the direct connection between witch trials and misogyny, and makes it seem like people who publicly burned women at the stake or hanged them.. kind of had a point because witches exist and are naturally stronger than human beings. it doesn't matter if the witches are good or not because this is no longer an act of discrimination and oppression, as it was in the real world.

[echoesagain]

#10

Isn't it funny how sometimes you can be so happy that even the saddest of songs can't bring you down? Well today I found the inverse. I listened to all the happiest songs I could find, the ones that would have me up and dancing, singing at the very top of my lungs. Instead, I found myself ready to weep and/or go back to sleep so I wouldn't have to get up again. The worst part is that nothing caused this to happen. I was just existing then all of a sudden the blackest of depressions, the deepest of all sadnesses, the emptiness of all voids struck me and held me until I was forced to mentally scream until I had nothing else, until I couldn't breath and I was playing song after song, trying my best to not stop functioning. Nothing helped, I was struck dumb and couldn't do anything except wallow in so much self loathing and depression. Anyway, enough waxing lyrically about my emotions, onto some other bullshit.

I fucking hate my emotions. They control me much more than I control them and I hate it. I suppose no one likes not being in control because they don't know what's going to happen next- fear of the unknown. I've been thinking about it a while, we all hate the unknown, it's where most (if not all of) our fears stem from. We always want to know what's going to happen next and then, logically, how to control it to benefit us the most. The first part is the most interesting to me. For example, we all fear death because we don't know what happens next, all we know is that it's an end to our current life, the known part ends and becomes unknown, hence we fear it. That's how all religions work, they come up with a world after death, thereby eliminating the unknown and thus calming people. People are so desperate to not have an unknown fate, they'll believe in all manner of different things. I know that this seems intolerant (and it is) but it's not towards any particular religion- it's towards them all. This is also why we're drawn to patterns over chaos and the brain searches for patterns in everything, it's to know that we can predict some things and it's not just unknown, we can solve it, sort it out and know what comes next. It's literally second nature, entire professions are dedicated to making the unknown into the known. My biggest fear is the dark which is a perfect example because the dark obscures everything, the known things hide in the dark and become unknown. It terrifies me and perhaps this entire theory is bullshit and it only applies to me (god, I would love that so much, just another thing that makes me different and to boast about) or maybe it's so obvious that it's barely worth mentioning.

Not sure how long I can continue doing any of this, I become so cynical and angry when I write these and I'm only on fucking number ten and I'm even further from happiness than when I started. That only leaves one ending and I fear that it might come sooner than expected. And I'm not physically ill or have any other reason to fear an exterior death. Fuck

[majimasleftasscheek]

Got any Kazumaji headcanons?

OH BOY DO I

but that's such a broad topic hrmmm I'll just give a few under the cut for the time being

if you want me to go into more specific hcs, feel free to ask ;)

I like the idea that they're gushy mushy in love and hold hands and pork each other behind dumpsters but they're still frenemies or rivals or whatever the fuck cuz I like making them harass each other. There's fluff but also a mutual sense of animosity (loving) because their personalities are just so polar opposite. Prolly ooc but my content and preferences are a lil more on the funny lighthearted stuff than angst - which I like don't get me wrong but I leave that to other people

I think Majima is very protective (and clingy) over Kiryu, not because the guy can't handle himself obvs but he just can't lose more people he cares about. He'll do anything for Kiryu, even at the cost of his own personal safety and Kiryu takes advantage of that, whether or not he's actually aware of doing so. Kiryu however is a lil quicker to deny Majima depending on what he wants but is equally just as loyal

Kiryu is protective tho knows Majima's fine on his own so he often leaves him to his own devices. He's comforted that Majima's someone who he doesn't have to save or worry about constantly - in the damsel in distress sense. I'm sure he'd worry about Majima getting off'd all the time of course. He'd prolly be more concerned about Majima's domestic life such as if he slept or took care of an injury properly. Maybe hits up Saejima to see how Majima is doing since Saejima's very upfront

both of them are touched/emotionally starved people so in private they're very intimate but they like to keep it aloof in public, especially Kiryu who gets easily embarrassed. Majima doesn't give a rat's ass but will tone it down if he gets his ass beat so either way he wins. Majima knows when to get serious tho and it can sometimes surprise Kiryu how focused he can get

when it comes to heavy shit, Kiryu's more open to talking about it than Majima who sorta just clams up. It takes a lot to get anything substantial outta Majima and Kiryu respects when he doesn't wanna talk. He figures something's wrong when Majima's more jokey than usual and they bond over unresolved trauma lol. When something’s bugging Kiryu, he’s usually off doing his whole lone wolf bullshit and Majima has none of it or at least, works from the sidelines since he knows how stubborn Kiryu is

nsfw stuff:

I like to write them as switches for my awful fics lol but I have a strong fondness for bratty power bottom Kiryu who likes to please and be pleased. He can get a lil aggressive when he allows himself to be a bit selfish and Majima loves using that to instigate fights with sexy conclusions. I like to think Majima both enjoys having control and getting his ass destroyed. He gets a kick outta convincing Kiryu to let loose every now and then

Majima's obvs the weird one but Kiryu's also adventurous and just needs a lil encouragement to try new things. He feels good about trying out freaky stuff since Majima would more than likely be 100% on board for anything. Kiryu doesn't instigate often but Majima's very open and supportive when he does so Kiryu doesn't get scared off but will definitely make fun of him if he's being naïve or dorky

they (me lmao) got a thing for humiliation or at the least, breaking down whatever façade each other puts up. Majima's a big fan of edging and cucking Kiryu until he's angry begging. Kiryu likes to play with Majima's impatience and will sit around playing dumb just to hear this grown ass man piss 'n moan about it. They both think each other have very annoying qualities but poking fun is the best part

[equizona]

Shielding Embrace

Fandom: Obey Me!

Characters: Mammon

Format: Drabble

Warning(s): Mentions of abuse(?) Angst(with a happy ending), crying, swearing, calling Lucifer a stuck up little bitch, OOC.

Summary: MC is tired of hearing Mammon get picked on so often, by his own brothers no less. As the second-born demon has always protected them, they think it's their turn to protect him.

Note: I wrote this a while ago, since I'm tIRED of Mammon getting bullied all the time. He deserves better-

"Diavolo, stop being such a scumbag Mammon-"

It wasn't uncommon that the brothers would call the second-born mean words. Scumbag was their favorite, along with dumb or stupid. You agreed that he didn't always make the best choices, but they were always so cruel about it. It never gave off the vibes that they were only joking either. It was like they meant every word.

You hated it with your whole being. Mammon had been the nicest to you, and he had been the one who had been there with you since the start, ever since Lucifer made him your 'guardian' in a way. He wasn't the best at showing his emotions, but you could tell he cared. Sometimes, it felt like he was the only one who cared.

You wanted to shout, or scream at them, for all the cruel things they would say to him. He deserved better than that. He was their brother, so why were they always so mean to him?

"MC? Are you okay?" You were forced out of your mind by Satan's annoyingly Loud question that brought the attention of everyone at the table to the two of you.

You remember when he tried to kill you. You remember when all of them tried to kill you. You remembered when Belphie actually killed you.

All those times never quite left your mind, and you could still feel the fear you felt in each of those situations. Mammon was the only one of them you felt completely comfortable with anymore, as he was the only one who never seemed to lose control and attempt to harm you.

You decided you wanted to stand up for him like he stood up for you all the time.

"Actually, no, I'm not. What's wrong with you guys?"

Satan's eye twitched, and it was oddly satisfying. You could see all of the brothers about to speak up about what you'd said, though you didn't give them that chance.

"I don't understand why all of you keep calling Mammon a scumbag. Is it because he's greedy? 'Cause if that is the case, then I want to remind you that greed is his sin. He's the avatar of greed. And I mean, why get mad about him for that? As far as I remember, all of you don't ever try to deny your sins."

You didn't feel satisfied just yet, so you decided to continue. You wanted to make them feel just as horrible as you assumed Mammon felt each time they threw those words at him.

"I mean, Lucifer is a stuck-up little bitch with too much pride and he can't ever seem to apologize or see that it's his fault no matter how obvious it is. Leviathan is constantly envious of everything to the point it can be fucking unbearable. Satan has extreme anger issues, and gets angry at the smallest things and Asmo is constantly flirting with people and usually not stopping until he's in their pants. And please, don't even get me started on Beel. Then of course, Belphie just seems to never bother lifting a finger to help anyone. But I never see anyone complaining about all of that, do I? It's not like any of you do anything to deny the sin you are assigned to, so why do you expect Mammon to do it, hmm?"

You raised your eyebrow in a judgemental way, just to add that extra spite. You could clearly see Mammon's shocked expression.

You preferred watching the reactions of the others more though. Beel looked guilty to some degree, Asmo looked offended, Levi and Belphie looked annoyed at the whole thing while Satan and Lucifer looked downright pissed.

You could see that Mammon was about to say something, probably about how he was okay and you should calm down, and Satan looked ready to snap and attack you, again. Though neither of them had the chance to react before Lucifer stood up while slamming his hands down on the table, glaring at you.

"Excuse me? Run that by me again, won't you?"

You'd normally apologize and leave the room to do something else, but you were tired with their bullshit and this just seemed like yet another way you could call them out on it.

So, you gathered up all of your courage and looked Lucifer straight in the eye, glaring at him as well, despite the fact you knew it would have little to no use.

"Or what? Are you going to try and kill me again? Because let me remind you that all of you have attacked me before, except Mammon. Oh, and of course, one of you actually managed to kill me. Remember that, Belphie?" You shot him a mean look, and at least he seemed to have some guilt over the situation.

"And you know, Lucifer probably would have killed me before as well, hadn't it been for Lord Diavolo. Oh, but you never quite did apologize for that, did you? You never apologized to Luke for attacking him either, did you? And it's because you have so much pride. Because you're so high and mighty and you can never do anything wrong, can you? Ah, but nobody ever tells you that, do they? Because they know it's the sin you represent and they know it's a part of who you are."

Lucifer blinked at you, shocked, and nobody else seemed like they were going to say anything either.

"Actually, in my opinion, I think Mammon is the least 'scummy' and 'lowlife' person in this room. And he somehow managed to be the one with the most control. Seriously, at this point I'm certain that you all only ever say those things to him because you all know you're the real lowlives and you're just too pathetic to admit it."

You didn't want to stay there anymore, and since they all seemed to shocked to say or do anything, you stood up and quickly made your way to your room, though it wasn't long until someone was knocking on your door.

"Uh, human..?"

Mammon's voice.

You almost wanted to cry. He didn't usually knock, he preferred to just barge in with his stupidly cheerful attitude that never failed to make you smile.

"You can come in."

You voiced it quietly, a small part of you hoping that he wouldn't hear you and just leave instead, but seconds after he opened the door and let himself in.

He didn't say anything as he sat down next to you on your bed though, most likely trying to figure out what he should say in a situation like this.

What you weren't expecting was to hear the sounds of sobbing.

Worriedly, you say up and moved next to him, concern filling your entire body as you gently put your arms around his shoulders and made him lean on your chest.

"Hey, hey, shh, are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?"

You tried to make your voice as gentle as possible. You weren't entirely sure what to do, but you never liked it when he was sad. His negative expressions and tears always layed heavy on your heart, so much that it was almost unbearable.

"Did- did you mea-mean it-?"

He stuttered out after a few minutes of you running your hand through his hair in an attempt to calm him down. You frowned, not entirely sure which part he was asking about.

"Which part are we talking about specifically?" You questioned him, though you made sure that your voice was soft.

"All of it." As soon as he answered your question, he got out of your embrace only to put his hands around your neck for a hug. You grinned, hugging him back.

"Of course I was. You're the one that's been there for me since I came here, and while I can agree that you don't always make the best decisions, they don't always make the best decisions either. They are your brothers, and they should never be saying things like that to you. Actually, from now on, each and every time they say something mean towards you, I want you to come to me so I can smother you in my love and affection."

Oh shit, fuck, did you just-

"Wait- like- uh- no- uhm- like in a-a, uh-"

He moved away from you, and you wondered if he regretted that considering how red his face was. You'd probably burn your hand if you touched his face at this point.

"I'm sorry, but you're going to have to say that again."

You gave him a patient smile, wanting him to feel comfortable. You were almost certain that he liked you back, since he wasn't exactly very good at hiding it, but you hadn't wanted to act on it before now incase you made him uncomfortable or that you were wrong.

Though his reaction only made you more certain.

He took a few moments to collect himself, before trying to speak up again, though he didn't seem able to look you in the eyes.

"Do, uh- do you mean like- like in a, uh, a rom-uhm.."

"Romantic?"

You inquired softly, and to your delight he nodded, still not looking at you.

This wasn't exactly a side of him you saw often, since he would usually try and deny anything, but you were happy about it.

You moved to hold his face in your hands, though he still refused to look you in the eyes.

"If you want to. I'm not sure how you feel, since nobody but you can be certain about that, but I know I like you, and wouldn't mind smothering your face in kisses each day."

Your tone was playful, be genuine. You felt his face heat up even more, if that was even possible. He changed the direction of his gaze to look directly into your eyes, and you felt like you would get lost in the ocean his eyes had.

He leaned forward for another hug, and you grinned, barely taking a single second to process it before you were moving your hands to hug him back.

"I like ya too."

You grinned even brighter, squeezing him tighter. You didn't ever want to leave his embrace, and while you knew that you would have to face both his brothers and the world later, it would be a lot easier with him by your side.

[nygmobblepot-trash]

I've watched more of Gotham so here's my bitching.

THE WRITERS ALMOST GOT IT RIGHT! I was freaking out. So at first I was pissed that Gotham was blaming Ed for the explosion because he wouldn't do that. Ed kills out of necessity and Riddler does it because you lost his game. I screamed when the show outlines this. Thankfully it wasn't really Ed. I loved the part where Ed tells this to Gordon and he doesn't fully believe Ed. Gordon doesn't let his buddy kill Ed but doesn't trust Ed to do is own research. I was pissed Gordon didn't believe Ed but it is fixed later on well kind of.. I also like the hint that Riddler is present as well. In my own understanding of Ed and Riddler. Sometimes both of them are present at the same time. When this happens the other haunts the person who has control. Complete control is when the other blacks out and has no idea what the other did. This is what made me believe that a 3rd personality was present. Thankfully this wasn't the case. So Ed tries to figure it out while Riddler is likely being seen by Ed. Riddler is the one who made the trap likely because Ed was busy.

Ed later remembers Oswald telling him he would fix him. Which is a very odd way to phrase it. Which makes Ed think Oswald is behind it all. He confronts Oswald about this and Oswald has a fit. Even though it makes sense for this to be a valid thought. Oswald has his speech about how he never hides his anger. If they're fighting Oswald makes it known. And I agree fully. But here's the thing if Oswald took Ed to strange to save him there's no way Oswald would have just left him there. Oswald and Ed are both very aware how Strange likes to fuck with people's minds and bodies. Oswald would have had a gun to the fucks head the whole time making sure he didn't try anything. But no it appears Oswald just leaves Ed there assuming that they were even I guess. I call bullshit but hey the relationship is still salvageable.

BUT NOPE AFTER THAT UNDERSTANDING WHAT DOES OSWALD STUPID FUCKING COBBLEPOT DO? He immediately tries to give Ed up knowing damn well Gordon will likely get Ed killed. I'm sorry but no. Oswald is very volatile but you have to piss him off first. Ed didn't do that. He just wanted to know what the fuck fix him meant. Then Ed agreed he would fight back if they decided to fight again. That's it. Oh and not to mention Oswald had just defended Ed from Jim earlier which made me think thay they'd work together but no.

We could've had os and Ed going after strange but no. We got Ed, barb, Jim, and team Bruce dealing with the chip and bad men. Oswald and Selina trying to escape and catch Magpie.

The interesting thing was when Ed went back to save Jim even though he was being a complete asshole the whole time. I loved how Ed at his core is still a good person.

Also why did Jim make the plan? I hate how Ed and Oswald are constantly made to be idiots 90 percent of the time. Ed should've made the plan or at least have a big part in it as he's smart. I also wanted Ed to fight the chip. He has experience with someone taking over his brain. It would have been interesting for him to learn to override it thus giving him more of a edge over Riddler. As for Oswald...Oswald shouldn't be tricked by Selina and Magpie. He's smart as well if he won't trust Ed he wouldn't trust Selina. Also the whole plot of Oawald trying to leave is stupid. Oswald would never leave Gotham. He knows damn well he can't pull this shit anywhere but in Gotham. They just did that so Oswald didn't have a reason to go after Ed.

Ok then Ed confronts Oswald again and I am fucking pulled back in like the dumb idiot I am. Ok well technically Oswald finds Ed for help but whatever. Ed is having none of it because Oswald abandoned him with strange which caused him to murder a fuck load of people and then tried to abandon him with Jim. Now Oswald explains he was going save Ed from Jim. Which is possible but also bs. I want to believe Oswald was really going to save Ed but there was nothing that alluded to him doing that. He was focused on gtfo of Gotham. Once he found the way would he have rescued Ed? Probably only if he needed help which he would. So that kills me. Great. Ed laughs at this proving my point. But Oswald double downs like always and acts like he's sick of the back and forth and points to fate. They're both suckers for fate and Ed actually lowers his gun. Again I want to believe that Oswald actually believes what he says but who the fuck knows. Oh and I forgot/just noticed while rewatching. THEIR SONG PLAYS WHILE OS TALKS ABOUT FATE. Endgame. I am not strong enough to resist. Please send help. Oh God damn it I keep forgetting things. Last edit I swear (maybe). Can we talk about how Os straight up didn't bring a gun to that confrontation. He could've tried to force Ed in a stand off but didn't. He had to know Ed would be pissed. I want to believe that what Oswald said was true but as we all know once the gun is pointed at him he'll say anything. So honestly it can go either way. Is it more sincere since he was unharmed? Fuck it I believe. Kill me.

And then the next time we see them absolute bullshit happens. Okay to back it up some how Jim the man whore got Barbara pregnant. When the fuck that possibly could have happened is beyond me. Did they just have Ed go play in the corner or was it after all the shit went down? Also how can she have a positive pregnancy test right away? I also think it was funny how Jimmy was crying to Lee about how much of a good boy he was being when Barb bursts in with that fucking bomb. A fucking plus writing. BUT NO FRIENDS THAT AINT EVEN THE END OF IT. Barb goes to kill Oswald and steal his shit. AND IN THE SCENE OF THE CENTURY WHILE BABS IS ABOUT TO SHOOT OSWALD ONCE AND FOR ALL, ED INTURPTS. NOT WITH A PLEA FOR OS'S LIFE OR EVEN A DOUBLE CROSS WANTING TO JOIN IN. NOPE. NOT EVEN CLOSE.

HE SAYS AND YOU KNOW I MOTHER FUCKING QUOTE: "Oh, my god."

Eddie sweetie, you're surprised by this? Or are you about to say the dumbest shit that I have heard in my entire life.

The two stop arguing to see what's got Nygma so surprised and he drops this bomb,

"You're pregnant"

EXCUSE ME MR NYGMA HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW? THIS IS NOT HOW YOU SHOW YOUR GENIUS INTELLECT. WHAT IS HAPPENING?

And of course Oswald and babs are like how the actual fuck

AND THIS DUMB STUPID IDIOT LOOKS AT OSWALD AND GOES "look at you, she's glowing" LIKE OSWALD SHOULD FUCKING KNOW TOO. AND OSWALD MAKES THE BEST FACE I HAVE EVER SEEN. LIKE NO ED WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL.

Babs goes back to trying to kill Os and Ed fucking stands there surprised. Oswald tries to get babs to join the plot to leave because hey thats the only thing that will save him. Babs calls bs then like the proud boyfriend he is goes "Ed did." And Ed shows off his little science project like the proud boy he is and goes "its a submarine". So fucking proud of himself and Os points back at the drawing also very proud. Which is just fucking beautiful. We love ours boys supporting each other.

Then babs asks the question. Where is it. AND THESE TWO IDIOTS STARE AT EACH OTHER LIKE 'where is it friend?' Ed looks down at his drawing like it will magically appear and when it doesn't he realizes he has to be the one to explain that in fact they HAVE TO BUILD THE FUCKING THING. And of course babs knows the 3 of them don't have enough braincells to do that and goes back to plan A. Oswald immediately accepts his fate and Ed just stands there, not a single thought in his pretty little head. It was Oswalds's turn to think. Babs realizes she can't because baby gave her morals again I guess and she leaves. As she leaves Oswald knowing he's safe goes "So who's the lucky father" and Ed continues to stand there completely blank. I really wish she would've said Ed. I MEAN HOW ELSE WOULD HE KNOW? OS WOULD'VE BELIEVED IT AND LOST HIS SHIT.

But seriously how the fuck did Ed know? On one hand Ed just is that smart somehow and only exhibits this level of intelligence one time. Like Ed is terrible at social ques. He can't read people worth a damn but can predict what they'll do. Well folks you've heard of GAYDAR we now present PREGDAR. On the other hand I can picture Gordon and babs going into the other room and Edward is just sitting there listening while playing with some Legos or some shit. And he just assumes that she's probably pregnant after that. Because hey Jim probably doesn't have any condoms, right? And on hand number 3 he just pulled that out of his ass hoping it would do something and it worked. But looking at when he says it again he acts like he def put everything together. Who the fuck taught Ed about sex? He's too young for that.

I honestly can't decide what I wish was true.

And that's where I currently am at. God I hope we get some more good content.