#but sometimes y'all overreact in the most insane ways

[pigeonclaw]

the amount of times I have potentially controversial opinions that I type up and then save in my drafts forever because I still feel them but am too shy and afraid to choose violence in any way

[residentialsinyomakai]

♤ INTRO TIME! ♤

Hi hello!!! Idk how these work very well still so. Lemme do this to the best'a my abilities zzz

This is my sona! I draw 'em a lot (I have like. 2 more main ones but they're not important,,,zz,zzzzz,zzzz,,,,)

Detailed info under cut!!

GENERAL INFO:

♤ I'm Yōmakai, Yomo, Res, any variation of my user really (*￣∇￣*)

♤ ENG/ESP, learning JP, but certainly not enough to hold my own yet wahaha ! ;=u=

♤ I use Any Pronouns, and no particular honorifics! Get creative w it for all i care ((o(^∇^)o))

♤ My posts are sometimes very frequent, or maybe I'll go months without one!! Hard to tell augahjfkrif

♤ Chronic user of caps, emojis, kaomojis (the cool little face things I love em,,, ( =＾ω＾)), emoticons, etc. So basically pretty informal language y'know y'know.

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INTEREST STUFF:

♡ Maaaaaajor hyperfixation AND special interest in Yokai Watch!!! (all interations)

I also like;;;;

♡ Swan Lake (1981 Toei Version)

♡ Kirby (all iterations)

♡ Pokémon (all, pref. Johto, PMD, Kalos)

♡ Everything But Your Life

♡ Homestuck (I'm pretty new tho!)

♡ MY FRIEND' OCS...

♡ Way of the Househusband

♡ Yakuza (Just 0 for now! Also new djgjeoe)

♡ TMNT (1980's, 2003, 2012, RISE, MM, Bay!)

♡ Yu Yu Hakusho

♡ Oswald the Lucky Rabbit

♡ Entomology

♡ Cephalopods

♡ Grammar

♡...And more! But. I'll keep this not too long..,,.

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ADVISORY FOR INTERACTION:

◇ HAVE BASIC DECENCY (Not okie doki to be racist, homophobic, proship, etc...I wish mental recovery and healing for all those ill-learned.)

◇ I'm like. Really awful at responding to messages. Personal reasons and generally I keep busy!

◇ Please don't DM me unless you either A: Ask permission please,,, or B: Are a mutual, I'm more comfy w/ y'all bc most'a you know I'm Insane and Fantastic already/j/lh

◇ Sorry if I Spam sometimes!!! I get a lotta motivation in bursts sometimes so you might see like 5 things in a day. Or if I'm doing requests =u=!!

◇ My bad forgot to add this one a while ago, but unless i know you irl, please don't make any "I'm in your room" or "outside your house", "I'm watching you", etc typa jokes. Dhsoxiwod seems like an overreaction but I have pretty bad paranoia and don't take kindly :< (I don't care if it's something like "I'm rapidly approaching your location" or something nonsensical like you're sending a missile to my mailbox bc ik that can't happen ^^;) thank you for your consideration!!

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FINAL THOUGHTS?:

♧ Don't be afraid to tag me in anything! (Within reason ofc ofc)

♧ NEVER HAVE TO ASK TO DRAW OCS....GHHAGSH.....If you do @ me please ^u^

♧ Trad. and digital art will be posted!! May not be the best but it's my favorite hobby :)

♧ OH!!! SPEAKING OF HOBBIES. Wanna know some of mine? I like art, singing, crafts, writing, and hanging out outside,,,

♧ OTHER SOCIALS:

• YomakaiResidentials - Tiktok (I,,, get the most anxious on this one. Don't expect much response!! If you want me to see your cool stuff, absolutely mention me or send me the video :> just try not to spam ghhhgagsg)

• ナガバナ愛 - Pixiv

• roughraffspompadour - Insta (best for messaging!!! Worst for posting EXPLODES)

• There's a secret other two but. They're more personal so Only Close Friends!!

• Not a social but I also have a blog called @askbabblong ......Babblong Ask Blog As You Can Tell

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TAG SYSTEM:

I organize all my posts and reblogs into tags because it's easier and I'm used to tagging things like on Ao3 and Fortelling,,,, I expect that if someone needed something specific they could sort it by the tags 🍌💬💜 so in short, here's explanations!!

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☆ [● Posts from Yomakai] - Well. Posts by me!!!

☆ [• nagareblog] - Reblog tag! So if anyone wants ta see what else i like and or block it I GUESS....SIGH..../j

☆ [♤ Resident Rambles] - My yap sessions or general speaking tag. I chose the spade cause it's my favorite suit :)

☆ [☆ Favesposting] - Anything including fave characters....my little guys....

☆ [¤ Summoning...] - Friend stuff! Most (all) of these are yokai related if you couldn't tell wahaha!

☆ [Yolo Watch 2!] - Had to make a ykw specific tag because,,,,ghhshhdjd yokai,,z,,

☆ [|| refs 4 l8r ||] - Forgot about this one for a while....Refs for characters i wanna draw sometime!!!

☆ [¥ Aus I like! ¥] - WAHHH ALSO FORGOT THIS ONE! Typically the reblog for au masterposts or first encounters with'a cool thing EEEEYAAAAGH

☆ [《Cool Features!》] - Specific things I really like! Colors, future inspo, amazing stuffs....so much so it's hard to decide whether or not to put it in sometimes ghgahahhhgg...

☆ [~ Helpful!] - Info that can be helpful for future stuff

☆ [♧ Shameless Self Promotion] - promotions for stuff I make or just. In general things related to me (;´∀｀)

☆ [◇ Important] - Donation posts, Gaza, fundraising, etc!!

☆ [♡ babblong's stand up] - (wow. Subtle with this reference huh) Anything funny to me.....remmeber.....my humor is bad/lh

☆ [` repo reblog rule `] - Repo related stuff from rottmnt because!!! HIM!!! kinda turned into a general tmnt tag, but mainly repo

☆ [{bugging}] - bugposting when I remember!!

☆ [¡quene!] - stuff from the Yōmakai backlogs,,,, aka my quene!

☆ [₩ delete later ₩] - if the second hand embarassment is really bad or if it's vent-adjacent then. After a while. Into the bin/post privately section it goes %o%!!

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WOWZAS. I YAP A LOT!!! Can you see why i like Babblong....my little guy. Thanks for reading! Enjoy your stay :] tell me if there's anything i should add!

[sbry41001]

Hello. I need help and don't know where to get it.

To preface this, I just wanna say, to the one or two people who know me in reality who may or may not see this - I’m just putting this as a fair warning - you can stay calm and know that I will probably be ok and please stay quiet about this because it’s very personal, and I’m just writing this on here as an outlet.

No one will read this most likely, and certainly no one will freaking care, but I figured I'd put that as a disclaimer.

To get right into it,

I have a type of depression that would probably be called ‘persistent depressive’ because sometimes it’s noticeable and other times it isn’t. Usually it involves me staying inside of my bedroom for most of the day and not going out, simply because I am a burden to people and won’t be around them to bother them.

I have been called “abnormal” for having it, or for various other things that can be associated with it, such as letting little things get to me or 'overreacting’ within certain situations. Or simply having feelings such as anger and expressing them.

It has caused me to put myself away and feel like garbage like 90% of the time, and hate myself, and basically I make myself feel like I don’t belong with people or that no one will ever like me, pretty much classic symptoms.

So to get to the next part, which is when it got to be the worst, and the absolute worst and most freaking devastatingly awful period of about a year within my life, and the “story” section, is that back in like June (directly at the beginning of June) of 2016, I met this person (sorry, I won’t be saying who they are or tagging them), and made friends on a certain app just through a public chatroom of some sort, and well apparently this one person enjoyed doing, er… Not so appropriate things during chat/role play and after I started doing it with them to humor them, they actually began to like me and we actually hit it off and became a “couple” (I will never use that term to describe the two of us ever again). I felt great for a long time - someone liked me, even if it was a relationship that was too weird for me and wasn’t actually what I was looking for (for specific reasons that you can dm me for if you REALLY honestly wanna know.)

Well after a while, as I did not expect, we weren’t exactly the same as before, and they began to respond to the other folks in the chat we were in, and I began to feel like they disliked me – thanks to my depression. It felt like they kicked my butt and mentally abused me in ways I don’t really want to repeat because it will probably stir up emotions in me that I don’t want to even remember feeling. There were times that they called people “the most beautiful they’d ever seen” despite the fact that I was their gf. And after I finally snapped and started being rude to them because they never gave me proof that they loved me more than or differently than their previous lovers or friends, and they 'dropped me as a person’, they began cursing at me constantly and started calling me horrible names like “b*tch, saying 'F you’ to me all the time, as I said mentally abusing me, essentially bullying me & saying the most heinous and disgusting things to me - and it broke me. It broke me the hell apart. And while I was far from perfect - I said some bad things to them as well, and I was terrible back because of the horrible emotions and suicide attempts that I had experienced. - Oh, right, I forgot to tell y'all that the BS they said to me made me nearly end up committing suicide until I stopped myself from it because I figured it might not be worth it, despite the fact that I wanted death, craved it, told myself that being hated this much by this person and their friend group meant that I should not be alive.

This went on for a period of about a year until I left their message group and was never invited again.

Another thing that’s made this horrible feeling that I need to be dead even worse is that one of this person’s friends, who I will tag (@mrrald) because I actually want them to know the real story, how much they hurt me, and pretty much how much of an idiot they are. Basically, they said even more horrible things to me, calling me a "racist and sexist bigot” because of the fact that I watch the News and keep up with it on Twitter (and basically because I’m not an SJW like they are), as well as saying that I “cant solve s*it on my own” because I was still effing hurt and depressed that the person who I thought genuinely liked me did not. And, freaking surprisingly enough, I’m not hurt by that anymore, I’m more hurt by how much they hate me so much as to say such nasty things to me and curse me out for just trying to tell them that I Graduated High School.

Yes, I’m being serious, and yes, this got the suicide attempts rolling again.

I hated, and still hate myself, and think that what they said, that I was a “manipulative, need therapy, insane, abhorrent, always have a victim card, and horrible individual” are true, and to this day I still am hated by these folks, get messages from them still saying how horrible I am on my board occasionally from those who I forgot to block, and still want to die because I feel so alone and such intense and heavy and violent self hatred.

My family also dislikes me a lot, and downs me for not having a job yet - even though I’ve been trying hard for just over a year to get one, but simply no one has said yes as of yet and say that I’m also “negative and horrible” all the time. I know already that of their children, I’m the worst, and that I’m the family disappointment. I’m not as pretty, when I do things I don’t do them perfectly exactly as they want, and basically I’m horrible as a person and as a family member. I leave things out, I don’t like it when I’m way behind in a card game, every little thing I do starts an argument - in summation, I’m an immature idiot who screws crap up.

I’m just sick of doing it and think if I were gone, things would be SO much better for them. That’s pretty much what they’ve told me, anyway.

Basically, this is a cry for help, as the title suggests. I want to be alive, not just existing, and I want to stop feeling like I want or need to die.

I need to find something better that will help me with this illness that I have and I need to know how to deal with the people who mentally abused me online in that group. I know there are things in my life that I do enjoy, certain series that have kept me at least partially sane since that horrible yearlong time, and I live for those things and those things only - as an example, I live only to see that new episode of My Hero Academia come out. Or that new SU Episode or Game, etc etc.

Those things are losing their effect on me however, kind of like how bubble gum loses its taste.

I need comfort, I need healing, and I need pleasant social interaction above all else. The light is dimming on my life and I fear that eventually it really will end up getting to the point where I take my own life.

I need to know that I’m not freaking scum/garbage like I’ve been told I am and like I tell myself every day.