#but sometimes working in a 24/7 operation just really sucks

[mistergandalf]

ready to cry because I got to work at 8 this morning to do all my month-end managerial duties and my AM shift person called off (she had a good reason I’m not mad about that) so I had to watch the desk instead

I tried to call someone else in but they didn’t respond until I’d been here 4 hours. and they were still out of town. so I was like don’t worry about it someone will be here at 3 anyway it’s not worth it for like 2 hours of work

and now all the other managers have hop skipped and jumped out of here because THEIR departments were staffed today. so they finished month end stuff and they can go home. but my boss says all my stuff still has to be done today.

so I’ve been at work for 9 hours already and I still have several hours’ worth of work to do and I won’t even get to go to my D&D event tonight because this HAS to get done.

I love my staff and none of this is their fault, it’s just an alignment of unfortunate circumstances, but it just sucks and I am upset about it

[minnarr]

REFERENCE POST: very minor characters of Word of Honor

I originally gathered these blorbos together for a presentation called "Writing in the Margins: finding story in the minor characters of Word of Honor" (sometimes, in a pinch, I title slide deck party presentations like a paper because it's easy). My criteria for this presentation was that I wanted to highlight characters to whom a lot of people's reaction would be, "Who?" So characters like Gu Miaomiao and Gao Xiaolian and Deng Kuan, while my beloveds, are not here because they are just a bit too present in the story.

Why should you click through and read? Well, honestly, I'm adapting this as a resource for fellow fic writers who just want some folks to help flesh out the world. This post is divided into three sections: Chengling's Generation, Tianchaung's Orbit, and The Previous Generation. There's so much just going on in the background; let's take a look.

Chengling's Generation

Mu Yunge

Introduction: Episode 5* Suggested Episodes: 5, 7

* by "introduction", I mean the episode in which their name card appears, officially introducing them; for some characters, as with Mu Yunge, their first appearance in the show happens before that point

Mu Yunge is an interesting inclusion because I don't like him. He's pretty much there to suck, and then die. He's here for two reasons. One, he does a lot to flesh out his world; two, he's in the boyband in the concert they did after Word of Honor wrapped, and that is my favorite part.

I'm really only going to address the first one here. Oh, Mu Yunge. He's there to show how the Department of the Unfaithful operates, and how very present the violent misogyny they address still is in his world. He's also (to all appearances) a young man in good standing in the martial arts world. Deng Kuan is close enough to him that he's selected as one of the friends to take part in the deathmatch in his name. What does this say about the young men of that generation? And his death also has echoes in the background drama in the show: Mu Siyuan (his dad) becomes a loud voice against the ghosts and later Gao Chong.

Zhu Yaozhi

Introduction: 3 Suggested Episodes: 7, 14, & 24

Zhu Yaozhi is fascinating to me because he is such an encapsulation of what Word of Honor does with its larger plot. Because, like, there's all these moving pieces and a lot of them are moving in the background and the main characters don't really notice or give a shit, but they're definitely moving along arcs that make sense from their point of view.

This guy is a disciple of Yueyang Sect, Gao Chong's sect (along with Deng Kuan); we see him multiple times just doing kind of grunt work/investigation for them, most notably when he follows up on the guy Gu Xiang beat up for harrassing musicians and then is apologetic and embarrassed for believing his side of the story (episode 7). He's also buddies with Mo Weixu, Cao Weining's shixiong, and teases Cao Weining to him. (See this gifset for part of the scene in question, from episode 14). Early Zhu Yaozhi is a goofball who's just doing his job.

After Gao Chong's disgrace, he goes searching for Gao Xiaolian and we lose track of him until he turns up again in ep 24 being menaced by Mu Siyuan. Mu Siyuan wants him to say his master was evil and colluded with the ghosts, and Zhu Yaozhi refuses and tries to punch him. It's great. It also gives us Shen Shen to the rescue in the middle of his own loyalty/figuring out how to be truly righteous arc. I have a lot of feelings about this. He's such a useful character for showing us what Yueyang Sect is like and what becomes of it after Gao Chong dies.

Song Huairen (L) & Xie Wuyang (R)

Introduction: SHR: 5 / XWY: 8 Suggested Episodes: SHR: 5 / XWY: 9, 17

I've paired these because they're both Xie Wang’s competition, young men who also call Zhao Jing yifu. They are both disciples of Yueyang Sect; Song Huairen is supposed to be a favored disciple of Gao Chong. Xie Wang eliminates him the same night we meet him and plays it off to Zhao Jing as the shell game with the Glazed Armor going wrong.

Xie Wuyang meanwhile starts off as a character who makes Zhang Chengling’s life at Yueyang uncomfortable—up to and including whipping him during training. Very satisfyingly, Gu Xiang knocks him out when he’s giving Chengling a hard time in episode 11. Later on, after Zhao Jing has settled in at Yueyang, Xie Wuyang serves him in his private rooms doing stuff like giving him manicures. 

Mo Weixu

Introduction: 14 Suggested Episodes: 14, 26-28

Mo Weixu is the son of Mo Huaiyang (Cao Weining's horrible shifu) and Cao Weining's da-shixiong. When he first appears, he scolds Cao Weining for having no ambition but then shoos him off to check on Gu Xiang anyway, and we see this mix of sternness-as-concern and indulgence continue. He's kind to Gu Xiang, and helps guide her through greeting their shishu Fan Huaikong properly, but he also warns Cao Weining that she might not be everything she appears. He's kind of the level-headed ballast to Cao Weining's naivete and worries about him.

Mo Weixu is not at Cao Weining's wedding. Mo Huaiyang says he had to cleanse his sect because his disciple and shidi were bewitched by Gu Xiang. However, in episode 36, Xie Wang specifically says that they never found Mo Weixu's body, even though they definitely found Fan Huaikong's. Fellow fic writers: you know what that means.

Tianchuang's Orbit

Bi Xingming (L) & Cheng Zichen (R)

Introduction: 31 Suggested Episodes: 31

Disciples of Siji hidden in Tianchuang! These two were both taken as disciples by men within Tianchuang and took their surnames; Bi Xingming’s first shifu is Bi Changfeng, the guy who took the nails in episode 1. Cheng Zichen's is a guy called Cheng Xiu. They show up in like one episode but I’m obsessed with them. They lead the party of Tianchuang ducklings who rescue Zhou Zishu and then get inducted into Siji as Zhou Zishu’s disciples. Bi Xingming is specifically shown to be very eager about this, but is told he’ll have to wait to have a ceremony about it till his shixiong Chengling comes back.

Princess Jing'an

Introduction: 1 Suggested Episodes: 1

Talk about one-scene wonders—Princess Jing'an left an impression on me. What kind of past interactions does it imply that she calls Zhou Zishu Zhou-shixiong, but he doesn't know she and Jiuxiao were in love? I have questions and I want to answer them. Also even in her like 2 minutes of screentime we see her sharp and defiant and angry and it makes me want to write her SO bad.

Qingluan

Introduction: [N/A] Suggested Episodes: 30

She is literally mentioned in like 1 or 2 lines in episode 30 so she’s less fascinating for her Word of Honor appearance than for how she is mentioned here paired with her role in Qi Ye (the novel that's the prequel to the novel SHL is based on): In Qi Ye, Su Qingluan (originally named Su Cui'r) is a beauty who becomes part of the crown prince party, gets caught working against them, and is confined to a house as Helian Yi’s concubine for the foreseeable future.

In Word of Honor, she’s one of the people (the list also includes Zhou Zishu, Yunxing, Qin Jiuxiao, and Jing Beiyuan) who swore together in her courtyard to make Jinwang emperor, which implies a much more active role in their party than in Qi Ye. We also know she killed herself before the events of canon (or at least as far as Jinwang knows; in the same section, Zhou Zishu says that Jinwang poisoned Jing Beiyuan to death with a straight face). This seems to be part of the whole party splintering over time. Once more: implied story, free real estate (jazz hands).

Jing Beiyuan's six siblings

At one point Jing Beiyuan justifies being called Qi Ye (Lord Seventh) by saying he's the seventh kid in his generation. (There's a different, much more absurd, justification in the novels). I take him at his word just because that's the funniest option. I don't have more to say beyond just:

Six

SIX!!!!!!

are they worse than him? are they normal?

just

SIX

The Previous Generation

Qin-furen

Introduction: [N/A] Suggested Episodes: 12, 24

SIDEBAR: the moms. The dads have SO much narrative weight in the story in ways that most of the moms really don’t—they’re often nameless or fully invisible—so I leap at even the tiniest mentions of what they’re like and think a lot about them. Qin-furen’s the only one who really lands in the sweet spot for this post: enough info to play with and not make a total OC, not enough screentime that I expect to find many fics with her.

This is the wife of Qin Huaizhang, Zhou Zishu’s shifu. She’s mentioned in just a handful of lines and unnamed. She rescued rabbits and apparently was fearsome with her husband about it. She was friends with Chengling’s mom, who had a similar dynamic with her husband, according to Chengling. In episode 12, Zhou Zishu says, “I wanted to practice martial arts when I was a child. Sometimes, when my master forced me to play, I would seek help from his wife. She always stood by my side and criticized my master.” I have spent a truly stupid amount of time looking at her gravestone trying to glean info, and I’m still not really sure what we should be calling her.

Yue Feng'er

Introduction: 19 Suggested Episodes: 19

The eldest disciple of her generation at Healer Valley and the wife of Rong Xuan. She rough-houses with Shen Shen and is known by her own title as well as being the eldest of the Three Heroes of Healers Valley. She’s presumably well-known in the martial arts world, and woven right into the web of friendships that started off all this tragedy. And she also loved her husband so fiercely that when he was poisoned she used a forbidden technique and took the heart out of a living man to try to heal him. She’s a powerful healer and at least as much a monster as he is and I like her so much.

[green-alien-turdz]

any life tips for someone still in school(school tips or not)

really mfin struggling n your real smart so i figured id ask you first

Ion know if I'm the best person to be askin life advice from, but I'll do my best. Also I suck with mildly vague prompts, so I'll do my best.

-Give yourself some mfing grace. You are not perfect n you won't ever be. That's not a bad thing! You're only human. Of course, set goals for yourself n always aim for somethin greater, but holy fuck, it's okay to not meet that. At the end of the day, you fuckin tried n that's all that matters. Even if the only effort you can put into tryin one day is just showin up or even just plannin shit out, it's a step towards bein better. You don't have to meet all of these unrealistic expectations you have for yourself. You are not a robot.

-Take breaks. Legit, if you keep pushin yourself too hard, you WILL burn out n the longer you've been pushin yourself, the longer you will take to get outta that. People will spend years thinkin that they have to constantly be this machine. Eventually you'll start to stumble, get mad, push even harder n then fade out. It can happen in the blink of an eye, which is why it's SO important to take time for yourself. Make sure you're not stressin 24/7 about whatever it is you be stressin over. The world will not end bczus you needed to catch your breath.

-Appreciate what n who you are, no matter what stage in your life you're at. If you're flunking classes, you've still got greatness in ya. If you aren't that great at socializin with friends n shit rn, that doesn't mean you're a terrible person. We can't always be what we want to be, n there's nothin wrong with that. Every second you are alive, you are growin in one way or another. There's ups n downs, but that doesn't mean shit. You are gonna be way harder on yourself n think 10x worse of everything you do that just about anyone else would. n even if there is some dickhead out there who wants to talk shit non-stop about you, fuck what they think, man. If some sad mf has nothin better to do than to put others down, then their word don't mean shit. There are times in life where you won't like what you see lookin back at you n if you're ready to change, go for it, but if you need a minute, that's okay too.

-Make an effort to see the good. Whether you're really strugglin rn or if you're in a good position mentally, always take a second to just appreciate anythin that is good. It can be the smallest things! They can be stupid things, it doesn't matter. Find some sort of positive anchor to keep you as grounded as you can be. Life treatin you like shit n you feel like shit? At least I know that this show or movie I really like exists. Did you lose someone? Well at least you had them for the time that you did. So on n so forth. Sometimes you just gotta step outside n breathe, allow yourself to just realize that you're alive. It might not be great, or good, or even okay, but you're here n there are good things out there for you.

-

Okay, now some like actual life tips lol

-You are not your grades bro. Whether it be your parents expectations or your own, the way schools gradin works just doesn't always align with how a mf might work n operate. Sometimes we just mess up a bit too or don't understand a topic all too well n there's nothin wrong with that. It just seems like a big deal bcuz of how they like to measure n quantify how smart they think you are with a letter or number. You're not gonna get everythin in life, so it's complete bs that something that you maybe just needed more time on can have a shitty score slapped on it n have you made to feel dumb n shit like that.

-If you can get a job n want one, then fuckin do it. Apply everywhere. Even if it's somethin you don't think you'd be good at, trust me, you'll pick it up. The rejection can suck, but you get right back on the mf horse n apply more places. Call or go in to check in on your application (this just reminds them sometimes to fuckin look). Interviews can be nervewrackin, but for a minimum wage job, they'll legit be around 10-15 minutes (n that's stretchin it for some). When you get the job, you will probably feel like a dumbass or a child bcuz you don't know how to do shit yet- but give it a few weeks n you could do everythin with your fuckin eyes closed. They are not gonna treat you what your worth n it's gonna suck. Hours are long when you need more time for school n non existent when you need cash. If it doesn't work, that's fine too. Hopefully you can stay at jobs for at least a year, that shows commitment on resumes.

-Don't allow yourself to be walked all over. I know this kinda goes against some of what I was sayin in the work tip, but that's slightly different (but there comes a point there too where you need to put your foot down to bein treated like garbage). This world will try n chew you up n spit you out a hundred times over, but don't let stupid mfs be the ones to do it. That friend who kinda treats you like shit? Well, talk to them about it, see if they change. n if they don't, end the friendship. Yeah it sucks, especially bcuz you probably still care about them, but if you allow even one mf to treat you n your feelings like some useless or disposable thing, then others will take the same opportunity with you. It's not always that simple, trust me, I still have people in my life that have done horrific things to me which I still allow to treat me like shit- but if you can, please bring yourself to do it. You are worth so much more than how some people might treat you. Even if this isn't an issue in your life rn, there will be people along the way who will be douches n try to take advantage of you or your generosity or whatever the fuck else. Shut that shit down as fast as you can.

[foreverrinmynever-blog-blog]

Lolol hey...12/22/24 6:15am

I'm not even sure why I logged back into this account. I'm not sure what I expected to read but it sure as hell wasn't all that lol. Tf was wrong with me?? If you knew me back then why didn't you tell me I was a fucking idiot 🤣

Maybe I'll start using this again? I've always liked looking back at past journals and such. Really gives perspective. I do have a notebook I sometimes write it but I think it's been close to a year.

Let's give a brief overview of the last 10 years, shall we?

Contrary to my last couple posts on here, Ed was *gasp* not my soul mate lmao. Like maybe a week after my last post he ghosted me cause guess what? I was a psycho mess lol. Seriously reading all those old posts was embarrassing. Happy to say I've grown a lot and I no longer act or think like old Chantal.

After Ed "broke up" with me I went on a few dates, had a few flings, finally learned to chill tf out and also value myself and stop trying to rush into a relationship with the first guy that gave me an ounce of attention.

I don't need to spell the rest out for my future self, I remember how Nick and I came to be. I still question his judgement tbh because I was still a little nuts lol...but it all worked out in the end.

We've been together almost 9 years, April will be 7 years married. We have a daughter of course. Who is currently awake and I'm pretending to still be asleep so I don't have to get up yet lol. Nick and I have had our ups and downs over the years, of course, but we have always come out stronger. I see now that I used to have no idea what love was.

The major happenings in my life as of lately revolve around my thyroid cancer. I had surgery in May and again in Sept of this year. I was terrified of surgery after trying to have it last December and having issues with anesthesia. I was convinced in May that I was going to die on the operating table. But if I didn't go through with it I wasn't getting rid of the cancer so what choice did I have? Obviously I'm alive. The second surgery was a little less terrifying although I'd say the recovery was a bit more painful. But I figured the hard part is over right? And then came time for radiation...

I'm currently 11 days post radiation "glow day". It's been hell. I'm scared and overwhelmed and lonely and frustrated. Physically it's been pretty uneventful, which is great. But having to send Nick and Vicky to Grandmas for a week was the hardest thing I've had to do. Not to mention sending my kitty to my mom's house. Nick and Vicky were allowed to come home on day 6, I've had to keep my distance from them and Nick has had to sleep on the couch. It's better than being home alone like the first week but it also just sucks. I could get into more detail but maybe later. I've been away since 3:30 and I might possibly be tired enough to finally get back to sleep.

More to come later? Or see you in 10 years lol who knows.

[ttlmt]

Bee, how are we meant to process this!?!?! I'm so furious on his behalf that he got jerked around by YouTube for so long, it's so disheartening and unfair and yet he's still there. Picking up the shattered pieces and figuring out how to fit them back together again. Just listening to his voice for an hour and a half straight (or well gay) has made something resonate deep within my chest and I didn't realise how much I missed him before I was reminded of all that he is. (Also, hello, I hope you're doing well, love!)

i think you can see me have a rollercoaster of a breakdown over the past like three hours on this blog cxlkjcdhg its so much to process

i missed him SO much just today my friends and i were joking about dan coming back and then BOOM here he is. i loved listening to his voice and his humour and wisdom and he always knows just what to say when i need to hear it. always sends me in a spiral but knows how to pull me out.

(edit: i've decided to put this under a read more because a) it got way longer than expected and b) its not all coherent and well-spoken like i wanted it to be but here it is)

first of all, i love dan's journey to accepting his past and appreciating it for what it is because thats a similar journey that i've been on recently and im glad he never doesn't acknowledge that there was good in it. it was good. it was important. its just not what he needs now. and nuance is something this phandom i find always struggles with, but dan is so good at it. there was good and bad parts to all parts of his career, but he ends on a positive note because he knows we're like him and we worry and thats where he is now and just yeah i love him

dan being so hard on himself about being a creator and whether or not he deserves this and that he firmly believes he's not good enough? i FELT that. like it doesnt matter what other people say, sometimes you just dont believe the good and you just need to operate like that. and it SUCKS. but you still do it in hopes that maybe one day you'll see what they see. also all that esp after knowing all the shit he went through in the past year? im about to throw hands with dans brain

BURNOUT. god as a media student just personally this hit. like its not an industry you can be neurodivergent or mentally ill in. you're expected to be working 24/7 and you're supposed to be happy about it because you're doing what you love. everything is your job, but its what you wanted right? creative control? its so fucked up and dan explained it way better than i have ever heard someone say it. im so glad hes prioritizing getting help to work on stuff like we're a collaborative species we're meant to work together and im so glad it seemed with this video already he has found people he likes working with

i'm gonna fucking fight youtube. like i figured it was bad behind the scenes but i did not in any universe think it was That Bad. i just assumed things got cancelled cause of covid. the way they treated dan is so fucking unprofessional (but also not unheard of in the industry which is more fucked) and i hope they receive backlash for this but also YTO is gone now so theres nothing really to do and i also dont want it to reflect on dan. in addition to that, i can't imagine going through this with a partner who has the same employer and needs to work with them too. like phil had to watch yt do this to dan all while still working with yt cause its his job. they love and care about eachother so much and im glad they had eachother but jfc they shouldn't have had to go through that.

i'm so glad dan is taking control of his narrative and doing stuff for himself now. im soooo excited for tour. im so happy ttlmt (the video) is getting the recognition it deserves. i hope this shuts everyone up who shit on dan over the past 2 years.

also hellooooo i'm doing alright! i just got back to my parent's place for the summer so i'm adjusting to that and starting my summer course so i'm a bit overwhelmed but im overall okay. all this happening right after i say im back with gifs is so funny dlkjfdg

[dazedbydazai]

Can I have some fluff 👉👈 Dazai, Chuu, and Atsushi spending their off day with their baby while (S/o) is out for work

Aw this was so cute to write! (๑>ᴗ<๑) Thank you for requesting~ I made hcs for each of them. I hope this is what you had in mind ^^

➳ Dazai Osamu

Okay, so Dazai wouldn't know what to do at first. He'd be so flustered and maybe a lil bit scared because he's bad with kids

But since it's your baby, and they really resemble you a lot, he'd be calm about it and he'd learn how to be a good dad step by step

When it was his first time to be alone with your baby, he'd go over the list you made of things that Dazai should and shouldn't do

He was operating like a machine and going by the book - feed, burp, change, play, nap, and repeat

But after a couple more times that he spent alone with your baby, he found something common that they liked

Dazai would read children's books and even act them out since he loved hearing and seeing your baby laugh

He'd make funny faces and blow raspberries on your baby's tummy

Sooner or later he found a good and effective way of taking care of them

They'll start off by playing or watching cartoons on the tv

Dazai would try to explain what was happening but he'd end up just laughing since your baby really wasn't paying attention and was just sucking on their thumb

When it's time to eat, Dazai would turn the tv off so they could focus on the food and finish it all

Dazai finds it amusing that your baby takes after the both of you. They're really calm and concentrated when doing things - especially eating

Your baby loves to eat anything and Dazai's heart would always jump for joy when he sees your baby do a little dance when the food is yummy

Another thing that Dazai loves is when your baby reaches up for him

"Da Da" "Up"

Two or three simple words that makes Dazai's heart do a flip

Imagine your baby's hands in the air, silently wishing for Dazai to carry them

Of course Dazai would take them in his arms immediately. He would rock them back and forth and walk them over to the window to gaze at the birds flying or anything interesting that caught Dazai's attention

Also, when your baby is a little bit older, Dazai would take them on walks in the park

It may be difficult for Dazai to bend down all the time but he'd always let your baby try and walk as he keeps a hand on them for safety

Now, when it's time for bed, Dazai would always read a bedtime story to your baby, regardless if they can already understand it or not

He'll use his left hand to gently pat your baby to sleep while his right hand holds the book up for him to read

Sometimes, he'd find himself getting sleepy as well, either from exhaustion or because the bedtime story was effective

And when you arrive home, you'll see them curled up in bed, Dazai's arm protectively placed over your baby's head in case they roll around and bump their head on the wall

You'd quietly approach them and place a blanket over their bodies

"You did a great job, Dazai," You would whisper as you kiss his temple

"You too," Dazai would respond as he reaches up to pat your hair. "Now go get changed and climb in bed. We missed you so much."

➳ Nakahara Chuuya

So I think Chuuya would be fairly good with kids

He loves playing with your baby but at the same time he gets scared to touch them

It's like there's a sign that says: Fragile. Handle with care.

which is true since it is a baby after all

But Chuuya would get over his fear as soon as your baby wraps their hand around Chuuya's finger

His eyes? Would literally turn into hearts

He adores your baby so much

Chuuya loves the attention and he would instantly melt at your baby's cuteness

He would always carry them in his arms and swing from side to side especially when he knows your baby is about to cry

An effective way of making your baby laugh would be him throwing them up in the air

You'd always scold Chuuya for it, afraid that he might drop your baby, but Chuuya guarantees you that he won't

And he doesn't

Sometimes he uses his ability to let them fly in the air but only for a few seconds

He's always careful around your baby and always checks if they're okay or not

Now, when it's time to eat, Chuuya finds it difficult to feed your baby or let them finish all their food

Your baby took after Chuuya so they were really active and likes to play around a lot

It was easier when you're around because your baby listens to you really well

But with Chuuya, your baby knows that he likes to have fun and play

wow your baby is smart

So Chuuya thought that the best way for your baby to eat was if Chuuya gave them a reward

And usually the reward would be something sweet. Like a tiny piece of chocolate or even ice cream

But you don't like this method so Chuuya would have to say, "Don't tell this to your mom, okay?"

And your baby would just nod (if they even understand what Chuuya was saying)

Overall, Chuuya is a great dad

He manages to balance the good and bad

He could be strict if he wants

But usually he would just give in because he couldn't resist your baby's cute pout and pleading eyes

Chuuya always wants to make them happy

And he'd do anything to protect his family

Even if they often play around, at the end of the day Chuuya would effectively calm your baby down and put them to sleep by singing or humming a lullaby

You'd walk in on them as Chuuya carries your baby in his arms

"Already asleep?" You ask as you look at the time

"Well, we had a lot of fun today," Chuuya smiles as he walks over to you. "Welcome home."

You'd kiss them both on the cheeks as Chuuya transfers your baby into your arms

"Get some rest, Chuuya. You must be exhausted after running around all day," You giggle softly

"Yeah. But it's okay," Chuuya smiles. "Just seeing our baby smile is enough to lift my spirits."

➳ Nakajima Atsushi

I gotta say,

Atsushi is a PRO

He loves babies and he's great with kids

So when he finally has one? And they highly resemble his s/o? He's absolutely ecstatic!

He loves to take care of your baby

But the only problem that he has is that your baby always cries whenever you leave them to go to work

His heart would always break at the sound of your baby's cries partnered with the huge teardrops that would fall on their face

The first time they were left alone, your baby cried for almost an hour

And the only thing that stopped them was when Atsushi accidentally shifted his right arm

The huge tiger claw and strange white fur was so foreign that it made your baby quiet

Atsushi thought that he scared them and was about to apologize a hundred times when he saw the slight glint in your baby's eyes

Your baby reached a hand out and opened and closed their fist

Atsushi held out his arm carefully and when your baby touched his fur, they smiled

Atsushi sighed in relief and since then he would shift to his tiger form just to see your baby smile or to stop them from crying

He was so glad that they weren't afraid of him or his tiger form god it would break his heart if they were

Feeding your baby wasn't much of a problem since Atsushi always made such delicious food

You learned how to cook together and it definitely suited your baby's taste buds

Atsushi was always happy when your baby finished their food and did their little happy dance

He would praise them and pat their head for doing a good job

He would also give them little treats here and there but nothing too sweet - mostly fruits since your baby loves bananas and blueberries

When your baby's old enough to walk, Atsushi is always chasing them around

They love to play hide and seek or tag

Sometimes you would scold them because they'd be all sweaty and tired but the smiles on their faces would make you drop the subject

Atsushi loves spending time with your baby

He showers them with love and affection 24/7

He wants to give them all the nice things this world could offer

He wants to make them feel safe all the time

"I love you so much," You heard him whisper as he put your baby to sleep in the crib. He kissed their forehead and pulled the blanket over their chest and then made his way over to you

"Thank you," He told you as he hugged you

"For what?" You smile as you hug him back

"For everything," Atsushi kissed your forehead. "Now I've got two bundles of sunshine in my life."

[go-ahead-and-whump]

Blondie

Bollard: Part I

It’s been....a while. Sorry I haven’t been posting anything to this story for so long. I still absolutely love Dan and Blondie, and thanks to @morelikepainsley, I’ve really renewed my love for these characters. Also, I feel the need to once again thank @deluxewhump for inspiring these characters in the first place with one of her short stories way back. And thank you so much to anyone still interested in reading! I’ll be adding the tag list at the end of this post, but if you’d like to be removed from the tag list for whatever reason, just dm me and I’ve got you covered! CW: mild blood, mild electrocution, dehumanization, general whump stuff.

It’s a good thing Shell gas stations carry ear plugs. If not, Blondie is certain he wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight. 

Dan snores particularly loudly when he’s extra tired, and they pushed for two extra hours on the road today. OTR operators are only supposed to be on the road for eleven hours, but Dan said he could handle it. Then, by the twelfth hour on the road he was persistently nursing a redbull and devouring sour patch kids by the fist full just to keep himself occupied until they reached the outer limits of Flagstaff. After parking, Blondie helped fuel the truck. He’s been learning how to help Dan during their pit stops by making sure everything was working as it should be. Supper was little more than two frozen entrees of and some zebra cakes for dessert. By the time Dan’s head hit the pillow, he was out like a light and snoring like a bear within minutes. 

Blondie doesn’t mind. He’s gotten used to the sound of the engine chugging almost 24/7, so Dan’s snoring isn’t much different. He falls asleep shortly after Dan, exhausted simply by proximity. By 9:30 both of them are passed out, dreaming of open roads and clear skies surrounded by snow capped mountains and rolling plains. 

Then mother nature calls. 

Blondie stirs awake, noticing that one of his earplugs is gone, probably tangled in his hair somewhere. He leans over the side of his bunk, reaching down to the nightstand where Dan’s phone sits charging, face up. The screen is blinding when he pokes the home button and he’s greeted by a picture Dan had taken of the two of them standing in front of the Jolly Green Giant statue in Minnesota from one of the trips they’d made going up to Ontario, Canada. The memory of when the photo was taken passes briefly though Blondie’s mind and the corner of his mouth quirks up. 

It’s 3:56 a.m: mountain time. Keeping track of the time becomes an impossible chore when they’re on the road, going from timezone to timezone, losing and gaining hours, sometimes two in a day. 

“Dan.” Blondie leans further over the edge of his bunk and feels his hair fall down over his shoulders like Rapunzel. He pokes Dan’s shoulder hesitantly. “Dan?”

The snoring stops, but Dan doesn’t wake. Blondie tries one more time. 

“Dan...wake up.” He shakes Dan’s shoulder with a little bit more force. 

“Hmm?” 

“I have to use the bathroom.” Blondie whispers, feeling childish. He shouldn’t be waking Dan, especially after such a long day, but he can’t leave the truck without telling his master.

“Oh.” Dan murmurs, still only half awake. He turns from his stomach onto his side and checks the time on his phone as well. Same as Blondie, he winces when the brightness of the screen burns his retinas and he lets out a displeased grunt, straining to read the time. “Okay.” He mumbles, twisting under the covers like he’s trying to muster the will to sit up.

“You don’t have to get out of bed.” Says Blondie, staring down like a bat. “I...I can go alone. I just wanted to let you know.” 

Dan sucks in a breath and tries to speak as he yawns. “I should….go with you.” 

But Blondie knows he’s tired, and the thought of dragging Dan out of bed at four in the morning just to follow him to the bathroom seems ridiculous. He’s perfectly capable of going on his own. He’s being a pain.

“Please, Dan?” Blondie chews his lip. “You drove a lot today. I can go alone, I promise. I’ll be really quick.” 

A handful of seconds pass in silence aside from the sound of the engine and Dan’s breathing, heavy from having just woken up. When he doesn’t respond, Blondie wonders if it’s because he’s fallen back asleep. Then Dan sighs once more and lifts an arm to scratch between his shoulder blades. He’s shirtless. Dan only ever wears sweatpants to bed, unless they’re further up north. Getting up would mean he would have to put on a sweatshirt and some socks, then he’d have to slip into his work boots just to walk outside for a trip that he doesn’t even need to make. 

“Alright.” 

Blondie beams in silent victory and slides down from his bunk. 

“Just make sure you wake me up when you come back so I know you’re safe.” 

“I will.” Blondie shuffles into his tennis shoes and steps outside. The air is cool. Autumn in Arizona gets chilly, especially at night, but Blondie bops along through the maze of semi trailers to the humming, greenish-yellow light of the gas station convenience store. ...

Morning comes with a wave of unease, and Dan recalls the vague seed of anxiety in his gut he used to get way back in high school on days when his brain tricked him into thinking he’d overslept an important exam. He grunts. His limbs ache in protest as he gets up. The mixture of exhaustion and adrenaline from waking up anxious swirls in his head and makes him dizzy. He needs coffee. Shell gas stations always have the worst coffee. It’s burnt and tastes like jet fuel, but caffeine is caffeine, and Dan isn’t about to drink a redbull at a quarter to seven in the morning. He remembers seeing a cappuccino machine inside next to the coffee. Blondie likes iced lattes, so he’ll have to pick up a one for--

Fuck. 

That seedling of anxiety is there again, suddenly digging it’s tendrils into the pit of Dan’s stomach and root. Dan shoots out of bed and feels his heart stop when he sees the empty bunk above him. 

“Fuck.” His breath starts to pick up and his blood thickens like ice in his veins. “Blondie.”

Before he even tries to gain control of the racing thoughts that are whipping through his mind, Dan practically jumps through the passenger’s side door of the tractor, not bothering to grab a shirt or even a pair of shoes as he leaves. 

“Blondie?!” He shouts, feeling the chill of the morning raise goosebumps on his arms. Dan cups his hands around his mouth and calls again. “Blo--ndie!” He calls like a master to their dog.  

How long has he been out, two hours? Three? Maybe he got stuck in the bathroom. Maybe he couldn’t find his way back to the truck and asked to stay in the store. Dan jogs around the front of the semi, vaguely aware of how the cold gravel beneath his feet makes his skin ache. Is he shaking from the cold, or something else? 

“Blo----ndie!”

There are other drivers headed to and from the convenience store with their morning cups of joe in hand. Other drivers sit outside their tractors smoking a cigarette. Some are checking under the hoods of their trucks to make sure they’re all set to head off. All of them are staring at Dan as he jogs around in nothing more than an old pair of grey sweats with a look of hopeless panic in his eyes. 

Dan spends somewhere upwards of ten minutes weaving in and out of the parking lot, checking for any sign of his missing pet. Under the trailers, behind the tires, maybe even sitting next to the driver’s door. Each time he rounds a corner, he imagines, with a pathetic shred of optimism, that he might catch a glimpse of that blond head of hair wandering around aimlessly in search of his master. 

Cold dread sets in. The parking lot is much emptier now than it was last night. At least half of the trucks must be gone, and although Dan knows better than to lump his fellow drivers into one stereotype, he’s met plenty of creeps on the road. Plenty of scummy old men who might be out for a smoke in the middle of the night that catch a glimpse at a pretty boy and think that he’s a fine prize to bring with them. A few nice words, that��s all it would take. Well, aren’t you a good boy? I’m sure you are. Such a pretty young thing. 

“For fuck’s sake.” Dan seethes in anger at himself. Shut the fuck up. You know Blondie is smarter than that. He’s not a fucking labrador. He can take care of himself. 

But another voice in the back of Dan’s brain says, No he can’t. 

He wonders if that’s true. Sure, the kid has gotten better at speaking up for the things he wants, but realistically, Dan knows that it would be all too easy for some man to have snatched him up in the middle of the night and dragged him into their truck. By now, they could be across the border in any which direction, never to be seen again.

Nausea sets in so quickly that Dan has to steady himself against the side of a flatbed and cup his hand over his mouth, breathing deeply to keep from throwing up. He’s never been one to pass out in situations like this, normally he doesn’t crumble under pressure, but suddenly the floor is starting to look a little too comfortable and he can feel himself swaying. 

Do I call the cops? What do the cops do about it? How would they know? I have a picture of him but--

As if conjured up by his thoughts, Dan turns the corner around an old, blue Kenworth and finds a police cruiser parked in front of the convenience store. Two, in fact. And a state trooper....and an ambulance. 

Their lights are all flashing.

In front of one of the cruisers is an officer, sitting back against the hood of her vehicle. Her head is tilted to the side, and she seems to be saying something into the walkie talkie on her shoulder. 

Dan takes a step forward and finds that his legs have turned into jello. He’s shaking. All of the responders are staring at one spot on the ground, standing around with their hands on their hips or with their arms crossed. Waiting. No one seems to be in any hurry to do anything. Whatever they’re staring at, they aren’t rushing to help, and suddenly Dan isn’t so sure he wants to see what it is they’re all looking at, but his feet keep leading him closer to the scene. 

A pair of legs comes into view, lying on the ground. Dan recognizes the size 10 black sneakers he’d bought two months ago. 

The world tilts off of its axis. Dan breaks into a sprint. 

“Blondie!” He shouts the only word that can come to mind and his voice comes out more like a plea. “Blondie!”

Before Dan can break through the small gathering of spectators and responders, three officers are on him pushing against him in restraint. “Sir!” They shout. “Sir, please step back. We need you to stay back!” They form a wall and grab him by the shoulders, shoving and pushing him back as he tugs against them. As big as Dan is, he’s but only one man. Still he puts up a fight and it takes all three officers using a good amount of force to keep him from bursting through the crowd. 

“Let go! Let me go!” Dan barks, fighting back with every ounce of the strength he has left. “I need to see him! Let me fucking see him!”

“Sir! Please just step back!” 

A few of the onlookers standing nearby shuffle away at the commotion and suddenly Dan gets a clear view of the scene. There, sitting on the chipped pavement of the sidewalk with his back pressed up against one of the bollards, is Blondie. Not his body, but him. He’s alive, he’s breathing, and Dan wonders for a moment why the officers have cuffed him to the bollard but after another moment’s inspection he realizes that he isn’t bound by handcuffs. Just like his ankles, his wrists are bound with a bright orange zip tie, and his arms are pulled back around the other side of the yellow pole. When he looks up, Dan can feel his breath escape him. There’s blood caked around his mouth, a congealed mess that looks like it dripped from his nose. Two dark, crescent shaped bruises outline the heavy bags under his eyes which are puffy and red. His cheeks are pale white and streaked with the salt of his tears. 

That cold, gnawing grief flutters away, now replaced with the desperate urge to curl around Blondie and hide him from the world. Dan tugs again at the officers restraining him. “Blondie!” He shouts, almost euphoric with relief.

“Dan?” Blondie echoes a weak response.

“Sir if you don’t step back we are going to taze you.” the shortest officer says. It’s clear that all three of them are losing their patience, but Dan remains undeterred. “He’s mine!” Dan bellows, sounding more and more like a snarling animal with each passing second. Loud. Mean. Dangerous. “He belongs to me! He’s mine! Let me go! Let me fucking go!” Dan manages to tug one arm free, giving him a slight purchase–a single step closer to Blondie. Then, faster than anyone can react, a bang rings out. The crowd flinches, and Dan feels two prongs speared into the bare skin of his back. The pain comes in less than in instant, before Dan even realizes what has happened. It’s stinging, tugging, aching, sharp and burning. A noise rips through his throat like a wounded animal and every muscle in his body tenses for what feels like minutes before he falls limp to the ground right in front of Blondie. His body lands with a thud, his bare chest scraping against the chip seal pavement. Sharp little pebbles bite and nip into his skin, and he can feel the road rash on his knees and arms. The side of his head collides with the ground and a sharp crack rings through his ears, followed by an immediate and piercing note.

“DAN!” Blondie screams, sobbing and tugging against his restraints. Dan writhes on the ground, gritting his teeth as the stinging shocks of pain are amplified with the incessant clicking noises, the sound of the electricity being fired into his body from the taser and Blondie wailing his name. Then there’s a weight on top of him, someone cuffing his arms behind his back. Dan coughs and gasps under the pressure and yelps at the sensation of the barbed rods being ripped from his skin.

“Wait!” 

He’s definitely bleeding now. He can feel blood dripping down his temple.  “Wait! Please!” He begs, “Please! I’m his owner!” Despite the pulsing pressure that makes his head feel like it’s going to explode, he tries desperately to yell over the sound of Blondie’s crying. “His name is Blondie! He has a chip under his left arm! If you scan it my name will pop up: Daniel Robert Schmidt! I bought him at a shelter on West Palm Avenue in Miami! I have his papers and documents in my truck! Please! Please! I don’t know how else to tell you,” A wheeze breaks up his plea and he dissolves into a fit of wet coughs. “I don’t know how else to tell you that he’s mine!” Blondie is weeping openly and Dan can’t bring himself to look away. “Da––an!” He sobs. “Don’t let them take you!” Fresh blood starts dripping from his nose, loosened by snot and tears. “Don't let them take you!” The audience around them must be enjoying their show, Dan thinks and seethes as they watch on. He huffs and puffs under the weight of the officer’s body pinning him down, and then there is a shadow looming over him. Someone curses, spewing insults at the officer who’s pinning him to the ground. A pair of black work shoes, like the ones doctors wear in hospitals, stands in front of his face. “For pete’s sake, get off of him!” And the weight of the officer is yanked away and replaced by the feeling of two cold hands on his back, holding him firmly but not painfully to the ground. “Uncuff him.” Says the woman standing at his head. Only one hand is cuffed, but Dan keeps both hands behind his back. He hears the sound of a small key jingling behind him and soon the cold weight on his wrist is removed. Dan scrambles up to his knees and crawls to Blondie, blocking the invasive gaze of those onlookers who are still standing around, waiting for the story to be resolved. He doesn’t have the heart to feel angry at the moment. All he can think of is the trembling body is his arms, shivering from the cold and fear, whimpering as Dan hushes him and smoothes the down his neck.

It takes a moment for it to register in Dan’s head that Blondie is whimpering in pain too. His arms are still bound behind the pole. He turns around to ask if someone can remove the zip ties, but the woman is already one step ahead of him. She crouches behind the bollard and whips out a pocket knife. With one upward tug, the restraints are removed. Blondie sags forward, finally breathing with the full capacity of his lungs again. His shoulders are numb for a few seconds until the lactic acid burns around his shoulder blades and the soreness sets in. All he can do is lean against Dan. His fingers are freezing, his skin feels raw from the cold, and his toes are going numb, even from under the cover of his shoes. The rubber toes on his sneakers aren’t good for insulation. “Dan.” Blondie groans and tucks his face into Dan’s neck. Every inch of him feels sore or cold or numb from the two sensations. The EMT breaks the zip ties around Blondie’s ankles. “Mr. Schmidt, if you’ll follow me. We have a place for the two of you in the ambulance. I’d like to check the both of you for any injuries that need immediate medical attention.” She is short–only up to around Blondie’s shoulder–and Dan can’t tell if she’s closer to his age or Blondie’s. “Hold on to me, sweetheart.” Dan whispers and presses a kiss to Blondie’s temple. “Hold on. We’re gonna be okay.” __________________ Sorry for the abrupt cut off. Part 2 will be up very soon. Tag List:  @neuro-whump @inky-whump @faewhump @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @looptheloup @whimperwoods @burtlederp @finder-of-rings @oracle-of-maybe @galaxywhump @newandfiguringitout @whumpqhs again, if I missed anyone or if anyone would like to be added or removed from the tag list, just send me a message and I can take you off!

[iwillhaveamoonbase]

Operation Cool Guy

Callum tries to be a cool guy to get new student Rayla to agree to a date with him.

Inspired by a scene in Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.   Rated M because of sexual references made, but not sandwiches were made.

--------------------------

Callum stared at the new girl, Rayla, out of the corner of his eye.  She looked good in their school uniform, long legs on full display, though she complained often about how the school wouldn’t let her wear tights underneath. It was hard not to notice her, with her almost pure white hair and striking purple eyes as well as a Scottish accent that was very much out of place in their California private school. She’d transferred for her final year after her parents moved to the States for work.  At least, that was the rumor.  Callum didn’t actually know.

He fidgeted with his jacket a bit.  Rayla was instantly popular and surrounded by people almost 24/7.  The star quarterback had asked her out who knew how many times, the last time resulting in Rayla twisting his arm behind his back and demanding he leave her alone.  Due to Rayla being a senior while Callum was a junior, they only shared a mixed-level science class together.  She always sounded so smart when she was called on in class.

A loud slam from Rayla’s direction caused him and everyone around him to jump.  “Just leave me alone, you dick.”  Her voice rang loud and clear as she refused to turn to look at the soccer captain who had, apparently, asked her out yet again.

“Rayla, I can show you a good time.  The best time.”

“Please,” she scoffed. “I’ve heard your exes talking in the locker room.  You expect a girl to suck on your dick and refuse to lick pussy in return.  No thanks.”

“It’s not sanitary,” he groused.

Callum watched as Rayla turned on him, staring at the soccer captain for a moment before laughing.  “The American education system has completely failed your ass, hasn’t it?  It’s self-cleaning, you idiot, and women tend to know how to find info to keep themselves clean.  Also, there’s no way you’d want me because I’ve licked pussy and if it’s so unsanitary, I must also be unclean.”

“Are you…are you gay?”

Rayla rolled her eyes. “I’m Bi, thanks for asking.  And you sounded really hesitant there, so let’s make something clear: I have two dads. Two GAY dads.  I have zero interest in dating someone who has homophobic tendencies, so you can stop hitting on me.”  

“I’m not-”

“Don’t care.  Wasn’t interested in your ignorant ass anyways.” Rayla turned back to her locker, effectively dismissing the soccer captain.  Everyone watched as he stared at her, mouth agape, before huffing and walking away, grumbling under his breath.  

Callum looked down at his phone.  A text from Soren had just come in, telling Callum to go with the plan and act like a tough guy with Rayla.  He’d had a crush on her ever since he had first heard her introduce herself, but there was no way someone has cool and interesting as her would like him.  Soren had insisted he could coach Callum and to act uninterested and all that.

Callum sighed, running a hand through his hair and closing his locker before walking over to her. He leaned against the lockers and tilted his chin to try to show-off his jawline.  “Hey.”

Rayla didn’t stop going through her locker nor did she even glance at him.  “What do you want?”

“Your number.”

“No.”

Callum internally winced. “I wasn’t that interested anyways.”

“Cool.  We done here?”  Callum didn’t have time to respond before Rayla closed her locker again and walked away. Several girls started trailing behind her, their chatter carrying through the halls.  

Callum sighed.  ‘Strike one.’

---------------------------------

Callum groaned as he thought about Soren’s latest text in his plan to get Rayla to agree to go on a date with him.  He’d acted uninterested, like he had an interest in typical masculine things like cars and bikes, and had even gotten detention for telling a teacher off. Rayla was still not responding to him or anyone else.  Maybe Soren was wrong; maybe all girls didn’t like bad boys.

The school was almost completely empty and Callum and Rayla were sitting in detention.  Callum for the teacher incident and Rayla for refusing to take off her tights and follow the uniform guidelines.  She’d loudly complained in class that she didn’t think a simple pair of black tights were a problem when the girls already had to wear knee socks but it had fallen on deaf ears.  Rayla rolled her eyes when she saw him there and turned away from Callum, focusing on her homework.

The teacher got up from his desk, glaring at them both.  “You two better be here when I get back.  I have to go talk to Ms. Smith about another one of your classmates.  Delinquents, the lot of you.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be an educator if you think so poorly of us,” Rayla grumbled.  Callum stifled a laugh as the teacher glared at her.

“You are an intelligent, respectable young woman, Ms. Burrows.  Why are you so determined to question authority?”

“I’m Scottish and Irish. It’s what we do.  People try to impose their authority and superiority on us all the time.  I question stupid rules and people believing they can tell me what to do without having good reasoning beyond ‘because I said so’ or ‘that’s how it is’ and, in the case of the uniform ‘because that’s how it’s always been.’  Change is good sometimes.”

The teacher pinched the bridge of their nose and loudly exhaled.  “I’ll be calling your fathers about this.”

“Ask to speak to Ethari. He’s nicer.  Runaan will tear you a new one.”  The teacher shook his head and left, grumbling about students refusing to behave and follow the rules.  

Callum turned to look at her.  “So-”

“I’m tired of people telling me what to do.  That good a enough reason for you?”

Callum shrank a bit at her blunt phrasing, looking down at his hands.  “I was going to ask you out-”

“Why?”

“I…I mean-”

Rayla turned her head away, scoffing.  “No, thanks.”

Callum gulped and thought back to Soren’s plan.  There was no way it would work.  Callum remembered his mother telling him to just be honest with others and he would be happier in the long run than if he tried to change himself to make someone else happy.  “Look, I’m just trying to tell you I want to be with you.”

Rayla turned her head and glared at him.  “OK?  Why? Why do you want to be with me?”

“Because you’re smart and cool and really pretty but not in a glamor way, but a ‘I’ll run through the woods and get dirty after climbing a tree but have fun doing it way’.  You’re tough and it was awesome when you twisted the quarterback’s arm behind his back and when you flipped John for putting his arm around your shoulders.  And I’m not this…cool guy who is unaffected by things.  I like to draw and paint and study different cultures and languages. I know I’m not cool enough for you, but I still really like you.  Your laugh makes my heart feel full and my day is a thousand times better when I get to see you or hear your voice and now I sound creepy and I’m going to shut up now.”

Callum turned away and fidgeted with his jacket.  Rayla was quiet for a few moments, before finally muttering a soft ‘hey’.  Callum turned back to see a strong flush on her cheeks going all the way up to her ears.  “That’s the first honest thing anyone has said to me since I got here.  I like you, too.  You’re pretty cute and you care about people around you.  When you did the ‘cool guy’ act, I thought I had misread you and I was really disappointed.”

“Really?”  Callum couldn’t believe his ears.  She liked him?  Him?      

“Yeah.  I’ve never seen cheekbones like your’s in person.  I’ve also got a thing for green eyes, maybe.”

“So, can I get your number?”

Rayla shook her head. “You haven’t earned it yet.  I’m still not happy that you pretended to be someone you aren’t just to get in my pants.”

“I didn’t-”

“OK.  I believe you.  That’s not what it was.  But…”, Rayla bit her lip, “you still have to earn it.  Keep showing me who you really are and then we’ll talk.”

“OK.  Deal?”  Callum held out his hand; shocked when Rayla shook it.

“Deal”

--------------------------------------------

Four weeks later, Callum was the proud, sole person in their school who had Rayla’s private cell phone number and a week after that, they were holding hands down the hall and he was kissing her in the alcoves between classes.  Soren had freaked out that honesty and being yourself had even worked but Callum was not going to question it.  The most amazing girl he had ever met was giving him a chance and he had never been happier.  

[iheartkikixo]

Thoughts on the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D series finale

********AOS SERIES FINALE SPOILERS AHEAD*********

********AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D SERIES FINALE SPOILERS AHEAD*********

*******SERIOUSLY. IF YOU DON’T WANNA BE SPOILED STOP READING NOW********

You were warned.

Okay. So Agents of Shield is finished.

On the first watch I won’t lie, I was REALLY conflicted and bothered by the ending. I really couldn’t understand why they chose to go that route and I ended up pacing my house for like 30mins. However, after a couple hours of mulling it over, a rewatch and a nap. I understand why they ended it the way they did and actually have a newfound respect and maybe even love for the ending.

I know on first watch seeing everyone (especially May and Daisy) separated and alone initially feels depressing and possibly like the last 7 years of building this family was redundant, but if you look closer, it wasn’t...at all.

When we first met May, she wasn’t just alone, she was broken and self-isolated from everyone that she cared about and who cared about her. After the events of Bahrain, she closed herself down and became a shell of herself while her guilt and self-loathing threatened to eat her alive. The May we see in the final 3 episodes is so incredibly far from that. When Daisy throws Bahrain in her face in s2, the self loathing is still very present and she still can barely speak on it, she still feels like a monster for what happened and she retreats away from the team (to a degree) and back into herself. This reaction is so different to when Kora throws Bahrain in her face in 7x11. May is at a point where she fully realizes she wasn’t the monster in that story, she did what she did to save the innocent, and that at her very core is who she is, a protector of the innocent and those who can't protect themselves. And like she tells Kora, she’s “made peace with it”. In the last scene with May, yes there is a sadness that the team isn’t all together, but she’s not broken, unhappy or even alone. She’s found a new calling teaching at an Academy named after Coulson which upholds his legacy. She’s jovial when Flint comes and she laughs and jokes. It's so far removed from s1 May. Before Bahrain, May wanted kids and even when she was trying to save Katya, you could tell that she cared about kids a lot, this echoes to her protectiveness over the bus kids, and also extends into the Framework where kids being in danger was the thing that kinda brought her back to herself, and then also Robin, who she becomes a mother to. This is where the best of May comes out, she’s a mentor and a protector and in her last scene we see her happily being that to Flint and other students. So it’s full circle, she’s physically away from the team but not holed up alone in a cubicle in pain. She’s healed over these past several years and found a new purpose for her life, and her Shield family and time with them gave her that and made that possible.

The same with Daisy. When we meet her she is truly alone, she’s grown up alone, has nobody, she’s living in a van, she doesn’t even know her real name or date of birth, she’s searching for her family and searching for an identity and purpose. Throughout the last 7 seasons she’s found all of that and more. In this ending, like May, she’s not with the team, but she’s not truly without it either. She’s still in Shield, still doing missions, still in contact with the team, she still has them. If something goes wrong, there isn’t a doubt in my mind that they will come running as they always have, but after several years of fighting Hydra, Inhumans, ghosts, demons, LMDs, aliens, Chronicoms, being stranded on alien planets or at the bottom of the sea, being thrown into the future and then into the past, being mutilated or killed and resurrected or not, they all deserve some reprieve. They also can’t live under each other forever and they all deserve to actually live their lives. At the beginning of the series Daisy was lost and she didn’t know who she was, by the end neither of those are true anymore. She’s found her calling, she’s found family, she’s found relatives, she’s even found love. And now It’s like she’s paying it forward. Someone found her and gave her love, home, family and solid ground and now she’s doing the same for others (namely Daniel and Kora). Everything really goes back to the conversation her and Mack had where he tells her that even if the team dynamic shifts, it's okay and she’ll be okay. In real families we don’t all stay under the same roof forever, we branch out, take jobs in other cities or countries and start families of our own, but it doesn’t negate our original family and I don't think this ending does either. It doesn’t mean found families hold less weight than blood families, because with family (the people you’ve chosen to love and have chosen to love you back, blood or not), even when you’re not around them 24/7, distance and time change nothing. Based on the group conversation, they clearly have been in contact and will continue to be, Jemma saying she’ll email Daisy later about something they had earlier discussed, Mack and Yoyo still being together even though they’re on mission in different places at the moment, May telling Mack she has some names of recruits to send him, Coulson telling Daisy to give him a call once she gets back to Earth etc. It's not that they’re not family anymore or that they’re only gonna contact or see each other once a year, their life choices just have them spread out and busy, but they’re still family. Jemma saying they need to do the group meeting annually doesn’t mean it has to only happen once a year, nor does it mean they won’t interact individually whenever they can, it just means that despite how busy life gets they need to make sure they as a whole group isolate some time to be together however they can. That is the most family thing ever. Throughout the year ppl are busy and you see each other but not everyone together at the same time, but then you have something like Thanksgiving or Christmas where everyone makes it their business to find themselves under the same roof for a day. It feels like the same concept applies here. It only feels sad right now because it's new, but after a while it will be normal. They’ve spent the better part of a decade living under the same roof and now they’re not even on the same planet all the time, it's a weird adjustment, but they will adjust.

As far as Philinda goes. Philinda has been my AoS OTP since season 1 and while I was kinda sad initially that they didn’t end together, I get it. Phil is dead and PhilLMD is just that, an LMD. A robot. He’s not real and as such, while still having Philinda scenes makes me happy, I don’t think I want May to have to settle for a robot no matter how advanced. It’s not fair. Especially with her being an empath now, every time she touches Phil it's a reminder that he’s not real. He can’t grow old with her or be truly intimate because everything about him is coded into him. She deserves the chance and the space to move on and find something real with someone real and him being around her all the time would prevent that because she loves Phil, even though he’s not really here anymore. Phil was ready to go in season 5 as he felt like he had already been given a second chance and didn’t want to be greedy, which is why he didn’t seek out the cure in space. LMD!Phil who works solely off of Phil’s memories and feelings is echoing the same sentiments by contemplating shutting down. It's not fair for May to let herself explore this any deeper (especially now being an empath as she feels things more deeply), only for him to decide to shut down leaving her again, and it's not fair for them to explore this and him to force himself to stay operative until she dies as to not hurt her again, even though his Phil coding is telling him it's time to go. I feel like once everyone is comfortably settled into their new lives and he knows they’re all truly okay, he’ll shut down for good, until then he’s just around in case they need him.

I don’t think I need to speak too much on Fitzsimmons or Mackelena. With everything Fitz and Simmons have endured over the last 7 seasons, retirement (not sure if Simmons is fully retired too) seems beyond reasonable. We’ve watched them lose each other or themselves in one way or another every season, and like everyone else on the team they kept coming back for more when it would’ve been easier to walk away and most probably would have. But they're not most people, they are a family and refused to abandon the team while it was in need. So this ending with their super cute kid is just very deserved and great to see. Mackelena. I love that they’re still agents. I was also initially surprised Mack was still an agent as he seemed like the most likely to leave a couple seasons ago. Maybe the Adventures of Mack and The D gave him a new outlook, realizing that there are so many out there who want to and will do good if given the space and opportunity to. I also love that Piper asked for a Davis LMD and that he and Piper can argue like old times. I thought that was kinda cute.

Overall, I feel like this moment was necessary. Change sucks, but it's necessary for growth. I also think the messaging is great and applies to the cast, the fans and just the world in general. Change isn’t bad, people come into our lives for seasons and they teach us, love us, heal us and sometimes leave us, but that’s not the end. There are new people and new adventures waiting, and the same way people come into your lives for a reason, we also are destined to go into other people's lives and be that person who teaches, loves and heals them the way someone did for us. It’s a cycle. And that's one of the ways the world moves forward and gets better. Good people bringing out the best in other people, who move on to bring out the best in other people, creating more and more good people. Philindaisy will always hold the most special place in my heart in this show. Phil found May in her cubicle and Daisy in her van, and the three of them saved each other in so many ways and gave each other everything they needed as well unconditional, unwavering love and support which helped them move beyond their past traumas to the point where they were mentally healthy and strong enough to not just have the family they formed with each other, but also form their own families outside of the original family unit and do the same for others. That in itself is beautiful. This is the end of this particular part of their journey, but in no way do I think it's the end of the family that they all formed over the last 7 years, because you don’t go through all they went through and then just feel nothing. They will forever be a part of each other and they will forever pull from the lessons, experiences and love they have for and gave each other. And that’s life, and also what I’m taking away from this show.

[missmentelle]

Your posts are so informative and I was wondering if you could help me. I'm a BA psych student in a smallish town in canada and I'm considering applying to work in a womens homeless shelter. In the past I've worked in youth residential care and daycare, but this is a big step in another direction. What is it like working in a homeless shelter? When I talk to people in my class (who have never worked there) they just say it's dangerous and I shouldn't bother. But, I want to help women and youth who are more vulnerable in my community. But is it dangerous? Are your expected to work alone? At the youth residence, there was clear communication and there were always other staff around. I was so sure, before I started talking to others about it.

You have excellent timing, I just got home from a night shift at the youth shelter! (I’m picking up shifts at my organization’s youth homeless shelter while the whole org is short-staffed due to COVID, which is why you’ve been seeing a lot fewer posts from me lately. Doing swing shifts on top of my 9-5 is kicking my butt.)

I can’t say exactly what working at one particular shelter will be like, because every shelter does things a little bit differently - they all have different rules, schedules and policies. There are some things that they do tend to have in common, though. For instance, I would be absolutely shocked if any shelter made any staff member work alone. That’s unheard of in my experience. At every shelter I’ve ever visited or worked at, you will have several staff on shift at any given time, plus an on-site manager or supervisor to handle emergencies, or an on-call supervisor that you can phone for advice or direction if you aren’t quite sure what to do. My org’s shelter requires that there be a minimum of three staff on-site at all times (it’s a small shelter with less than two dozen beds), plus a supervisor either on-site or on-call. If you work at a shelter, you will have support (and if you don’t, you should quit and find another shelter that does). 

At the shelter I’ve been helping out at, youth who arrive there are typically there for around a 2-3 month stay. Each youth gets their own private room (somewhat common in domestic violence, youth and family shelters, fairly uncommon in men’s shelters and general homeless shelters) and they are allowed to bring two bags of belongings with them. Youth are woken up in the morning, fed some breakfast (not all shelters will serve breakfast), and then the youth are required to be out of the building for most of the day (this is pretty much universal for homeless shelters, but many domestic violence and family shelters will not have this requirement). 

During the day, shelter staff inspect rooms, write documentation, contact other professionals who are working with the youth, supervise any youth that are in the building due to extenuating circumstances (illness, night shift workers, etc), inform the incoming shift about last night’s activities, and prepare dinner. Youth return in the late afternoon, have dinner, do their chores, and are free to come and go until their curfew - they can meet with support staff for counselling, do homework in their rooms, watch TV, do their laundry, or just go out with their friends. There is a set time where they have to be in their rooms, and staff come around to check on youth a few times during the night. Then morning comes and it starts all over again. Many shelters run in a similar way, although there will be slight differences to their policies and procedures - some homeless shelters, for instance, do not give residents a “set” bed and require people to line up for beds on a first-come, first-served basis every night. It just depends on the individual place. 

You will absolutely have to deal with some tough situations while working at a shelter. I would be lying if I told you otherwise. Note that “tough” does not always mean “violent” or “dangerous” - basically anything that can happen at a shelter will happen sometimes. You can have all sorts of medical, mental health, maintenance or general emergencies. This past month at the shelter, we’ve had everything from a broken washing machine flooding the basement to a youth arrested outside the building for throwing rocks at cars to a youth having a miscarriage. We did have one youth making violent threats against staff, and a few making threats to harm themselves. It’s a fast-paced work environment, and you can really never be sure what will happen. At my shift last night, we settled all the youth down in the lounge for a movie night with some popcorn and leftover Halloween candy and they all went to bed without incident. Other nights, I’ve been screamed at for having to enforce the rules, or I’ve had to call 911 because someone is violent and out of control. It’s impossible to say how any one shift will go. 

I will say, though, that I’ve been in this field for 8 years now, and my organization has been around for almost 50 years, and in that time we’ve never had a staff member seriously injured by a client. I’ve actually never worked anywhere that has. The potential to be injured is there - you can get injured at any job - and I’ve been in some pretty tense situations, but I’ve never seriously feared for my life or my safety. At the shelter I’ve been working at, you are either with a team member or you have a team member watching you on the security cameras at all times, and they will immediately jump in to help the moment anything tense starts to happen. The only staff injury we’ve had this year was a staff member who cut herself while chopping vegetables for dinner. We all receive regular, comprehensive training in suicide prevention, crisis deescalation, non-violent crisis intervention, motivational interviewing and mental health first aid. Management is incredibly supportive. We are quick to call the local mobile crisis team or 911 if there is a situation we need help with. All staff carry either a cell phone or a panic button (a little plastic button that alerts 911 if you push it) so we can get help quickly if we need it. No one ever has to deal with anything alone. 

Personally, I love working shifts at the shelter, and if you have any interest in working at one, I would say to go for it. You meet some of the most incredible people, both among the staff and residents. For every hard moment where you’re calling 911 or dealing with an emergency, you will also have funny, endearing human moments, like when we put on some music last night and the kids had a dance contest as they cleared away their dinner dishes, or when you finally get to help a resident move out of the shelter and into their first real apartment. You’ll also make some of the best friends you’ve ever had amongst your fellow staff - I am still in daily contact with old co-workers from every social services job I’ve ever had, even jobs that I left years ago. Working at a shelter can also be a great segue into other careers in social services - my org is very supportive of people who want to further their education, and many of the people in upper management started out as casual shift workers at the shelter. If nothing else, it’s a great way to learn more about how the system actually works, and to start thinking critically about what needs to be done to improve it.  If I had to make up pros and cons for working at a shelter, it would be this (keep in mind this is my list, and things that are “pros” for me might be “cons” for you)” Pros:

fast-paced work environment

hands-on work, not just paperwork and desk work

unpredictable work environment, no routine or monotony 

get a chance to use a variety of skill sets, from counselling to cooking

lots of ongoing training and professional development 

get to make a difference to people in crisis 

get to connect with all kinds of people and hear their stories

supportive and friendly co-workers, easy to make friends

great introduction to a life-long career

get to see how social work and metal health theory actually looks in practice

Cons:

shift work, shelters are open 24/7

sometimes have to deal with very serious emergencies 

pay could be better

can be very tough to enforce rules, both emotionally and logisically

absolutely sucks to have to turn someone away 

can be difficult to see people return to shelter after getting out, or to continue to get worse

sometimes required to do gross tasks, like cleaning up vomit

unpredictability means sometimes the worst things happens on days where you really just needed a quiet day 

Honestly, I would not take advice from anyone who has never actually worked or resided in a shelter. A lot of people hold very unfair or discriminatory views toward the homeless, even if they claim not to hate homeless people, and someone who has never actually spent quality time watching the daily operations of a shelter has no business making statements about how “dangerous” it actually is. I know people who have spent their whole careers working at shelters and are still passionate about it and love what they do. If you want to give working in one a try, I would say absolutely go for it.  Best of luck to you! MM

[comradelionheart]

This is where I feel safest.

In the blueness of this site, held in comfort as if under my blanket of soft fur.

No one here will ever know who I am or the people I speak of. No one can find me here. I have a questionable habit of running off to avoid being witnessed when I fail or am in pain, and this is where I run to. It is luckily not a boy this time. Well, it’s sort of that too, but not predominantly.

I haven’t shut G out this time. When I thought I’d lost my shot at the job I deleted my WhatsApp and all other social media, and refused to surface until I was willing to face people again. This isn’t unlike when I graduated college uncertain of what to do with life next and just... vanished. I’d a pretty promising presence on Facebook that could potentially have introduced him and I sooner, but I guess life unravels at its own pace and nothing can force it to go sooner or slower. I’ve grown rather accepting of failures because I have unfortunately grown accustomed to them. It’s almost like I expect to meet with resistance or failure each time something nearly works out and in this case I can’t say I willed it upon myself. I literally tested positive for TB. Which is amusing since those are my ex’s initials, and is yet another TB which seems to be hampering my progress. 

Dry humour is what I’m best at if I’m being my authentic self. I must unfortunately smile and wave because I’m a woman and need to be likeable to get anywhere in my line of work. That isn’t to say I’m a sociopath or hate people. I just wish I didn’t have to pretend to be interested in their lives and feign amusement at their not so novel ideas. Pretty sure I’ve not so novel ideas too, but I don’t need to be indulged for the sake of my (not) fragile ego. Anyhow.

I applied for this job early in the year and didn't expect to hear from them (because the first few years of my work life had me flailing and coping with depression instead of steering my career, and I know I shouldn’t grudge her for this but I do). But I did hear from them. And everything went through. Including 3 rounds of aptitude tests and a personal interview (which I thought I bombed but didn't somehow). Until I tested positive on a skin patch test for TB. Why do these stupid standard sets of tests get prescribed world over? Honestly, if I’m ever supreme leader of anywhere I will ban standardised tests. Not in the way that I say medicine is a sham, not at all, but in the way that WE LIVE IN THE THIRD WORLD AND WILL OF COURSE HAVE TAKEN THE BCG OR HAVE BEEN EXPOSED TO THE BACTERIA AT SOME POINT BUT IT’S NOT NECESSARILY EVER GOING TO BE ACTIVE SO USE A BETTER AND MORE CONTEXT SPECIFIC TEST INSTEAD OF GIVING ME ANXIETY AND EXISTENTIAL CRISES LIKE THESE, JFC. 😭😭😭

But I’ve taken the other test and that’s also got the drawback of being unable to differentiate between inert and active TB. So I took an HRCT scan. I’m so sick of running around hospitals, there’s a literal virus in the air. But Monday is when I’ll know the medical verdict. And then there’s the whole security check process. I hate when this happens but I’ve lost so much time to grief, I simply cannot sit around moping any longer. 

Earlier this year I interviewed with the **. I was given a verbal confirmation and had a text message implying an offer was made to me, because I received an acknowledgement to my acceptance of an offer. If I was the person I was in 2014, I’d have kicked up a fuss and made sure that offer was honoured, but 2021 me knows that working with bosses who go back on their word slyly and cave to nepotism usually need their cocks sucked. And I’m not only incapable of that, but have also dealt with enough workplace harassment elsewhere to be adamant about a brand at the risk of my mental health. But really, he can go suck it because I have confirmation from staff that he is EVERYTHING I read him to be. I’m not intuitive or anything, I just read people very well because I was hurt so bad by them (repeatedly since childhood) that reading people became a thing I did for survival. My sharp instincts serve me well, but are a trauma response. I am very self aware too, yes.

I then interviewed and got through an NGO that was willing to pay me 24L. I turned it down because the founders were running around like headless chicken with their inability to distinguish PR from Marketing Comms (me) from Marketing for business development. I know I was being paid a lot of money, but I will not kill myself performing all three functions while being acknowledged for just the one on my offer letter. I’ve learned to value my labour capacity and assert myself in the economic and political spheres. 

Personally though? I sometimes still think I’m a romantic pushover.

But this is about work because I need to weep a little before being calm about how this year has treated me. Especially since I’m maintaining a cool demeanour in public and literally hate sharing things I’m burdened with. Idk man, it makes me feel vulnerable and I don’t like feeling like I’ll get a knife twisted in the spot that's most sore. I AM SCREAMING BECAUSE I HAVE LET G WITNESS ME IN PAIN THIS TIME INSTEAD OF RUNNING AWAY and will someday file copyright over An Enduring Romantic because that’s very honestly me. But ofc it isn’t going to be the legal Copyright, just the sham notice like the one I’d sent him to up his Instagram game. Or he could just operate my Twitter and I’ll run his gram. It’ll even feel natural.

Sometime around May an environmental journal asked me to come on board. Work from the office at the height of the pandemic with no travel compensation and very little money. I turned them down. Then came II**. Which I again turned down because they wouldn’t pay market rate for skills I’ve perfected in 4 years just because they wanted 8 years experience on paper for my quotation. I will do a lot for causes I love, but I also really enjoy being paid fairly and acknowledged for the value I bring to the table.

Then came the start up in Del. Which I turned down because the uncle running it in his wife’s name expected 24*7 labour availability for 12L with no health insurance.

The latest in my list of things I’ve turned down is the ** Gov. Which I can obviously go back to since my reason for turning it down was another job, but 14 days of leave all year? 7 day work week if needed? Hell no. I enjoy having labour rights. But also when I told the dude I’d be reporting to if I accepted that I cant accept due to covid concerns his reaction was “sure, send me an email so we can start looking for someone else immediately.” Like.... we just had a second wave, what if something was wrong? I wouldn’t risk losing my job because they expect work even if I were hypothetically coughing up blood. So best not to touch with a bargepole. Now I’m less sad, but also really hope the TB results are negative. This job I want and have said yes to ticks off all of the boxes in my head and I will truly be disappointed if I lose it to disease paranoia despite being completely suited and picked for the role 😞

Just to be on the safer side, I have taken one last shot at achieving my goal of ‘learn how political systems work so you know what you’re talking about first hand in that PhD.’ I hope my Plan A works out instead, though.

Since I’ve brought him up in this, it will be interesting to note that a year ago I did the erstwhile unthinkable act of cutting a friend of for attempting to steal a man I love. A year ago to the date, literally. Funny how this year is more calm, but I was maxed out on endorphins from him last year. Until this March even, if I’m being truthful. I don’t regret cutting her off.She crossed a vvvv red line. ALL my other friends are celebrating. They detested her. 

Another thing that happened last year was me letting him know that I only get hotter with time, but along with this work drama I have also had a run in with intense grief which I thought was a mood disorder (because it was intense, I mentioned?), cholesterol, thyroid, sugar addiction and now, le TB (PLEASE BE A FALSE POSITIVE YESU KRISTU HALP). So needless to say, I haven’t been most fabulous and undergone my physical transformation and these mental health struggles (are getting better now) strapped me to my couch along with the pandemic and its many lockdowns. I have also not studied for the GRE because I’m stimulus seeking via social media and fear of sucking at math has kept me locked in place. I still have a lot to work through on this front and would really like to make his cover right too, but my creativity isn't working and I keep fucking it up. I am not as spectacular as I was last year. The separation has also weathered my dazzle out a little and while I’m living with it, I still have small waves of sadness that show up once in a while.

I might have also accidentally flirted with someone into falling for me. It was all fun and games and for my pride, but now I’ve to gently let them down since I’ve cold feet and am chicken. Because I’m as emotionally unavailable as a streetlamp. Is this why they call me a Gurgaoni fuckboi?

[bo0zey]

Pick your favorite questions from the list.

i will do them all for u 0.o

1. Name cianna [see-ah-nah]

2. Nationality mexican irish german romanian hungarian french

3. Age 20

4. Birthday december 17, 1999

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) sun: sagittarius; ascendant: leo; moon: aries

6. Gender female

7. Sexuality uhhhhhhhhhhhh idk but i will willingly kiss either gender

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself) /tagged/my-face or u could just google pictures of fat rats

9. What do you/did you study? I’m currently a sophomore nursing major!

10. What's your current job like?/What job would you like to have? I’m currently a microbiology TA and I love it :) My dream job would be something with animals, like a vet tech or veterinarian

11. Your birth order i’m the oldest!

12. How many siblings do you have? 2 younger brothers

13. Do you have good relations with your family? my mom was my best friend, my dad and i get along better now that i’m in college, my brothers and i get along pretty well & we’re staring to get closer now that they’re getting older n growing up n developing their own personalities lol

14. How many friends do you have? errrr idk this is a hard question. i have a lot of acquaintances but i’d say i have maybe like less than 10 real friends??

15. Your relationship status single :D

16. What do you look for in a SO? funny!!!!!!!!!must be humorous!!!!and sarcastic and a little weird w darker sense of humor so we can laugh n be dumb together!!!!!!! also i would like them to be kind to me and those around them bc mean ppl suck. also they have to like animals. also i would like them to be loyal and trustworthy and 110% in love w me. and for physical stuff idk kinda attractive but NOT CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE like i personally don't really like the typically ‘attractive’ person??? 

17. Do you have a crush? currently in love w the cute chinese boy who lives across from my dorm room even tho i have never even spoken to him n he is totally unaware of my existence!!!!!!!! hahah oops :D

18. When did you have your first kiss? i mean technically 3rd grade i think but that doesn't really count so like maybe 16????

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? i mean in the long term i would definitely like to have a serious relationship but at the moment i’m only into casual stuff bc my heart isn't ready to be broken again sknfkjdbnkjd

20. What are your deal breakers? errrr i’m not sure....cheating is a no no, ppl that are interested in fucking every single person they see is a turn off, DUMB PEOPLE like ppl you can't even have a proper conversation with bc they're so DUMB, and ppl who r mean/judgmental/arrogant

21. How was your day? ok! accidentally slept thru my math class but caught a glimpse of my crush across campus when he was abt to smoke a cig and i got chipotle n i online shopped a ton from shein

22. Favourite food & drink deep dish spinach pizza from giordano’s & orange vitamin water

23. What position do you sleep in? i fall asleep on my left side hugging a body pillow

24. What was your last dream about? ate a braid of hair and inside the braid was bacon

25. Your fears not going to make it thru nursing school, not being financially stable as an adult, not having a family of my own, probably more but those r currently top 3

26. Your dreams i don't have any idk....maybe having like a house of my own and having as many animals as i want?? and i would like a loving partner with a daughter of our own

27. Your goals survive nursing school and lose 40 pounds and don't die before my cat

28. Any pets? i have a dog named cherry Cola, a cat named Leto, and a betta fish named Perc

29. What are your hobbies? writing stories about people in love, listening to music

30. Any cool places in your area? in my college town??? NO it sucks. in my hometown??? Not really it’s a small lil village with only restaurants and parks. but at home i’m near downtown chicago so that’s cool i guess

31. What was your last awkward situation? the first thing that comes to mind is my FIRST and so far ONLY encounter with my crush. we live in the same dorm building and i was wearing my nursing scrubs and had no make up on and about to go upstairs to my dorm, and then i heard footsteps and i was like ‘hahaha what if its my crush’ AND THEN HE FUCKIGJNG appeared from down the hallway to go back to HIS DORM [which is RIGHT ACROSS FROM MINE] and i literally STARED at him, then threw open the door and RAN UP THE STAIRS LIKE I LITERALLY DIDNT EVEN HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME AND HE WAS LIKE SO CLOSE BEHIND ME I WAS JUST SO NERVOUS MY FLIGHT OR FIGHT RESPONSE TOOK OVER AND I FUCKING FLED I LITERALLY RAN AWAY FROM HIM I AHTE MYSELF SO MUCH IM SUCH AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!

32. What is your last regret? errrrr idk i regret a lot of dumb things.......

33. Language/s you can speak English n a LITTLE bit of Spanish

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) i’m really into zodiac stuff and i have got to say they are pretty spot on in accuracy idk

35. Have any quirks? ummmm ofc!!i am the quirkiest person i know hajnjfxbkjx like if u asked my roommates/friends they’d probably be better at answering this than me bc i don't see anything abt me as quirky but they always tell me i am quirky and do weird things but idk man I'm just existing 

36. Your pet peeves err idk currently its ppl that constantly brag about dumb shit

37. Ideal vacation somewhere warm with me + the ocean + the loml + unlimited alcohol

38. Any scars? yeah :D both emotional AND physical!!!!

39. What does your last text message say? ‘ok thats a more than fair statement’

40. Last 5 things from your search history how many carbs should i eat, chipotle bowl calories, is the grim reaper the angel of death, ceftriaxone adverse effects, red man syndrome

41. What's your [device] background? lockscreen is a peach-theme background i made and home screen is my weight loss goals

42. What do you daydream about? the characters in my stories.................and being skinny 

43. Describe your dream home pretty brick house??? flowers outside??? 3 floors--main floor, basement and upstairs??? 3 bedrooms n 3 bathrooms maybe??? master bedroom has its own bathroom!!! and open concept main floor. big kitchen and very homey n warm all around. as for like an apartment i want something cozy and aesthetically pleasing and warm 

44. What's your religion/Your thought about religion i don't have a religion but if ppl do have a religion then thats not my business

45. Your personality type entj but only bc i got 3% extraverted; i am very closely related to intj tho n i think i fit that one better

46. The most dangerous thing you've done uhhhhhh probably operating a vehicle while high out of my mind. definitely the dumbest thing i ever did 0/10 would recommend anyone ever doing that

47. Are you happy with your current life? its ok but it could probably be better. i want to be done w college and skip to the part where i have a successful career and my own home and i can lay up w the loml every night

48. Some things you've tried in your life alcohol???weed??gummy edibles....

49. What does your wardrobe consist of? sweaters/sweatshirts/leggings

50. Favourite colour to wear? black, maroon, peach, purple, gray, idk

51. How would you describe your style? oh jeez idk i wear whatever i want so like e-girl when i really try and basic white girl when i don't care

52. Are you happy with your current looks? no i hate everything about myself lol

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? more freckles on my face....also be thinner n have longer hair

54. Any tattoos or piercings? my nose and septum are pierced!

55. Do you get complimented often? kinda by my friends but i always yell at them to stop so they don't compliment like as much bc they know i hate it but they still do it sometimes idk

56. Favourite aesthetic? i wanna be an e-girl yo!!!!!!!!! 

57. A popular trend that you dislike nobody has a crush on me and i hate it

58. Songs you're currently obsessed with? pied piper by BTS

59. Song you normally wouldn't admit you like. anything by BTS lol i used to like be embarrassed for how much i like k pop but now i don't really care lol #stanBTS2020

60. Favourite genre? rap/r n b/alternative

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? i listen to every genre except country sooooooo yeah i really like billie eilish, BTS, the weeknd, juicewrld, lil nas x, trippie red, post malone,

62. Hated popular songs/artists? i don't rlly like selena gomez or justin bieber or taylor swift

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 only - RY X i.f.l.y. - Bazzi novacane - frank ocean jungle - drake bang! - trippie redd

64. Can you sing or play any instruments? no and no

65. Do you like karaoke? no but i like to sing along to songs when I'm alone

66. Own any albums? haha noooo i got apple music son

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? errr RARELY i used to listen to r n b stations tho

68. Favourite movie/series? idk donnie darko?? i also just finished tharntype n that was really good. also i liked tokyo ghoul. AND GIVEN IS REALLY GOOD

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc i like horror/scary/paranormal/funny movies and i like love stories in books

70. Your fictional crush/es danny phantom, ken kaneki

71. Which fictional character is you? uhhhh idk...

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so frerard, ryden, taekook, mewgulf

73. Favourite greek god? idk they all kinda suck but maybe hades

74. A legend from where you live that you like i don't really know any:(

75. Do you like art? What's your favourite work or artist? i like to look at art! i think van gogh is cool

76. Can you share your other social media? ig: ciannnna venmo: ciannnna

77. Favourite youtubers? i don't really watch youtubers but maybe shane dawson and emma chamberlain

78. Favourite platform? twitter

79. How much time do you spend on the internet? too much time

80. What video games have you played? Which one's your favourite? i once played GTA5 that was fun!

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) idk i don't really read anymore:/ i was into the hunger games and the twilight series when i was young. now i kinda read online manga and i really liked BJ Alex and killing stalking. and like for online books the unholyverse series, a splitting of the mind, the anatomy of a fall

82. Do you play board/card games? no but i like to play checkers and uno and cards against humanity

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? nopee

84. Favourite holiday halloween is cool also christmas is alright bc gifts

85. Are you into dramas? i’ve been getting into thai boys love dramas lol sue me

86. Would you use death note, if you had one? um YES.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? everyone needs to be a little kinder and have a crush on me

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? absolutely not I'm not physically fit and don't have useful skills

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? vampire duh [or maybe ghost]

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? i want to see my mom

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? idk something cool ... i love the name Daisy

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? idk probably kylie jenner

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo idk the alien? 94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true -im very productive with my time management skills -my favorite color is purple -i don't get nervous when I'm alone in public

95. Cold or hot? cold

96. Be a hero or be a villain? anti-hero

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? sing if i’m good at it but if I'm not good then rhyme

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? shapeshifting

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?immortal

100. ..... or .....? ......?

[marcodiangelo]

🍕 — 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕯𝖎𝕬𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖑𝖔 𝕱𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖑𝖞

lorenzo diangelo ( robert downey jr )  — 53 years old. lawyer. desperately wants to keep his children away from his family’s shady business. can be really strict, but he just wants the best for his children. really competitive, and prone to outbursts but would never lay a hand on his kids. sometimes he helps out at the pizzaria. 

francesca “franny” diangelo nee bertinelli ( rachel weisz )  — 50 years old. pediatrician. harvard graduate. incredibly loving and supportive. she has a penchant for “adopting” kids that aren’t hers. unfortunately, she can’t cook for a shit, but she’s really good at cheese and wine pairings. 

giancarlo “gio” diangelo ( nick robinson ) — 25 years old. on his last year of law school. the family’s golden boy. way too smart for his own good, but he sucks at physical activities. currently engaged to his high school sweetheart, jennifer. marco hates being constantly compared to him. 

nicoletta “nikki” diangelo ( maia mitchell ) — 23 years old. works at a PR firm representing celebrities. studied literature at yale. incredibly pop-culture savvy, and knows all of the scandals. really good at twisting people’s words in her favor. always roasts marco. 

marco diangelo  — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tZ156d2jOo

serena diangelo ( danielle rose russell )  — 19 years old. biology major at columbia university. she wants to be a doctor like her mom. snarky as fuck. falls in love way too easily, which is why marco is protective of her but she can handle herself anyway. knows marco’s secrets.

jennifer sinclair ( alexandra shipp ) — 24 years old. gio’s high school sweeatheart turned fiancee. will probably cure cancer.

jo cormac  — HONORARY DIANGELO!!!  she’s everyone’s favorite family member. they took her in when they were much younger almost as if she’s legitimately part of the family. marco would do anything for her. 

ludovico diangelo ( robert deniro ) — 76 years old. brought his whole family to the united states 55 years ago. the pizzaria suffered financially back then, which is why ludovico had to make business with several members of the italian mafia. hesitant to show his feelings, but would do anything for his family.

eleanora diangelo ( susan sarandon )  — 73 years old. incredibly family centered. worked the hardest to establish (legally) the family’s pizzaria in new york. constantly cooking and baking. she hates that her family’s shady business operates under the pizzaria. marco’s “nona”

federico diangelo  — deceased. died at age 45. he was incredibly invested in the crime business of the family, but he had to pay with his life for it. he was the reason why the diangelo family had to lay low with their operations.

armando diangelo  — 57 years old. still heavily invested in the family’s shady business, because he has 7 children to provide for. his children really exposed marco to crime and drugs at a young age.

damiano diangelo  — 55 years old. he doesn’t want to rely on crime, and instead focuses on maintaining the pizzaria. father of 5 children. has 2 ex-wives.

 gustavo bertinelli  — father of francesca diangelo. died years before marco was born, so he knows nothing about him. 

giada bertinelli ( susan lucci ) — 73 years old. she was a really big tv actress in the 70s. now owns a jewelry store. very dramatic, and can be snobby and superficial sometimes. has had, like, 3 ex-husbands. currently dating a 30 year old. 

bianca scott nee bertinelli ( marisa tomei ) — 53 years old. franny’s older sister. marco’s favorite and only aunt. she spent most of her life travelling and living her best life even though she doesn’t have kids. went to high school with frank scott but they only hooked up at the 30th reunion. owns a boutique in big bear. marco currently lives with her and frank. 

frank scott ( paul rudd )  — 52 years old. bianca’s husband. marco’s favorite uncle, even though they’re not blood-related. owns a sports shop, which is conveniently placed next to his wife’s boutique. infertile, so he doesn’t mind not having children. he has 3 dogs though.

[nevergonnabemuchmorethanweather]

10 for 10 for 10

I was tagged by @sandalaris. Thanks for thinking of me!

Answer ten questions, ask ten questions, tag ten people.

1.      What was your first fandom? Are you still a part of it?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I started watching it with my mom when I was four but I didn’t start reading/writing fanfiction until I was eleven or so. And yes, I am still a part of the fandom and I very seriously doubt I will ever stop.

2.      Current self care method(s)?

Avoiding things I have no real need to know about that I know will upset me, even if it makes me feel like a wimp.

Listening to music or white noise when my parents’ voices start to grate on me. They’re great, and my relationship with them is great, but I have auditory sensitivity issues and sometimes just the 24/7 sound of them around the house starts to Get To Me.

3.      What are three (3) shows you keep meaning to binge watch but haven’t yet?

I’ve been meaning to watch the final season of New Girl, the rest of The Good Place, and... I can’t think of another one.

4.      Do you stay active in fandoms after a new one catches your eye, or are you more a one at a time person?

I very rarely truly drop a fandom, but I do cycle between them a lot. For instance, right now I’m on a Harry Potter (specifically Marauder Era James/Lily) kick. It’s not something I post about because I actually haven’t read the books (I’ve seen the movies and read a lot of fanfiction and seen enough meta that I have a pretty good idea of what happens in the books that’s different from the movies) so I don’t feel, like, qualified, I guess? Although I have like five Jily fics in the works (that I’ll probably never finish because I’m me and I suck) so maybe I just don’t feel qualified to write meta. Although there are some opinions that have solidified them enough I will probably post them at some point.

5.      What was the last movie you saw with someone else? What would you rate it? 

I watched I Love You to Death with my parents and it was hilarious.

6.      Favorite guilty pleasure?

Ghost Whisperer. Not that it’s a bad show or anything (it’s great) but it’s just so sappy and my mom and I (not typically sappy people) will watch it together and cry and make fun of ourselves for it.

7.      What’s a highly underrated show/movie/book series that you would recommend?

Leverage! It’s not unpopular or anything and it has an active fandom but it’s just such a good show...

8.      Any new hobbies you’ve started during quarantine? Any you want to start?

Nothing new, but I’ve started crocheting again, and I’ve been writing more.

9.      What meme do you wish would just die already?

It’s not a meme so much as a trend, but I am so incredibly tired of reboots and remakes. Reviving a show ten years after its end is always, always going to end in disappointment. The actors have fallen out of touch with their characters, the culture that made the show successful in the first place has changed, and we’ve all developed years worth of headcanons that the actual show is never going to be able to live up to.

But people keep clamoring for great shows to be brought back and inevitably ruined. It’s like a weird form of memory loss. Yeah, the last hundred reboots I was really excited for were wildly disappointing, but did you hear they’re bringing back ‘insert show name here’? This is going to be so great!

Spoiler alert: It’s going to suck.

10.  Spread the love to your followers and post at least one link to a fic you’re reading/have read/wish to read/you’ve written yourself/etc.

Oooh, finally, my time to shine!

Harry Potter (Jily) fics:

Haggis from Algernon by Rude Gus -- The (thoroughly disastrous) courtship between James and Lily, documented in journal entries. 

(The Completely Unwilling Participants on) The Bachelor by Rude Gus -- Non magical AU that is exactly what it sounds like.

BTVS (Bangel) fics:

Culture Shock by loftyheights -- Human AU where Angel is an Irish exchange student staying at the Summers’ house. It’s unfinished, but still so worth reading.

Adverse Reaction by OyHumbug -- Angel doesn’t lose his soul after sleeping with Buffy, but Buffy wakes up as a (souled) vampire.

Austin & Ally (Auslly) fics:

I’m Looking Down, So Come Help Me Up by ExtremeSaucicity -- AU, Ally is having a terrible week and a certain tall, blonde, goofy neighbor of hers steps in to make it better.

Zero Seconds to Midnight by skwirelygurli-- Austin and Ally stay up trying to write a song. Austin is lovesick. There is cuddling.

Life with Derek (Dasey) fics:

Induced with Madness by snappleducated -- LwD meets The Princess Bride.

Pavlov’s Dog is Chasing Schrodinger’s Cat by unoriginal-elizabeth -- Derek and Casey can’t seem to stop hooking up at weddings. Casey tries to break the cycle with operant conditioning. Derek is, as always, unhelpful.

My Questions:

1. How old were you when you discovered fandom/fanfiction?

2. What is one fanfiction trope you can’t stand, and why do you hate it? Can be fanfiction in general or specific to a certain fandom/ship.

3. What was the last book you read and did you like it?

4. List three of your favorite fictional characters from any medium.

5. Do you prefer canon ships, non-canon ships that have a solid basis in canon, or crack/crossover/etc. ships that throw canon completely to the wind?

6. Do you prefer fictional characters that remind you of yourself, or characters that are different from you in ways that you admire?

7. If you could only read Angst or Fluff about your OTP/s for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

8. Pick your favorite/one of your favorite ships and name three songs that make you think about them.

9. Can you enjoy fiction that doesn’t jibe with your irl morals, or is it important to you that the media you consume has a message you agree with?

10. What is one book/movie/show/etc. from your childhood that still influences you?

I tag: @colddsalsa, @jilyandbambi, @sakurablossommirror01, @i-only-have-eyes-for-you, @millennialslayer, @timelordsdoitbetter, @mslyragw, @the-doctors-clotpole, @janecorderosolano, @faithandlovewillkeepmestrong

[azhorratha]

     @zankokukami​: 🍵+ stalling on fluff, 🍵+ popularity in rpc, 🍵+ fake people, 🍵villains, 🍵real life representations in rp,  🍵sinday

Send 🍵 for the mun’s salt! || Meme

     Demon’s looking to break my blog tonight. I’ll slap this huge post under a read more so the dash doesn’t have to see a mile long post.

🍵+ stalling on fluff

     Like anyone else, I like fluff but in small doses. I can’t take tooth rotting fluff for long and it’s fine if people like that but for me it’s a hard pass after a bit. 

But, the thing that gets me, is when I’m plotting and writing with someone, and they start trying to keep the fluff scene going no matter how hard I try to write away from it, it’s fucking irritating. I don’t want to read a 200 reply chain of an RP and not see these fuckers move even once away from the scene they’re in unless there’s a good fucking reason for it. Is it set in a hallway or hotel room that operates similarly to P.T.? Then fine, that’s great, use that and go ham with it but not with me. 

Stagnating a thread on fluff with me is the fastest way for me to drop the thread. There has to be some kind of movement or I just can’t do it. I don’t know how people handle these types of threads and end up loving them. It baffles me but I’m glad they’re happy, I just ask that it not happen to me. 

🍵+ popularity in rpc

     Honestly, the only thing I’m salty about with this is that people work too hard to achieve it. To the point that they’re honestly starting to use other people to get all these numbers. This is one of the things I agree with on the majority where quantity doesn’t equal quality. 

The numbers don’t matter for anything.

What’s going to get you popular is consistency in your writing and characterization. Even then, I don’t think it’s something to work toward. Do you really want 2k+ sets of eyes on you to criticize everything that you’re putting out? Do you want to end up with 500 threads that only get past one or two notes because you’re struggling to keep up with replies?

At some point you have to sit down and wonder why you’re really doing this. Is it because you enjoy the character? That’s great then! Because when people see your passion and love for your character, they’ll like that far better than how many replies you can throw out. Not only is that going to burn you out but it’s a good way to lose muse quickly. 

All in all, sometimes it’s better to have fewer people following you, that way you can concentrate on other things and not feel as pressured. This is supposed to be for fun, a hobby, but it’s not being treated like that most of the time. You’re expected to be online 24/7 and answer threads as soon as the reply is posted and it can’t be like that all the time. 

On top of that, sometimes people give up parts of themselves just to fit in with the popular crowd and that’s just sad. Why try to cut out a piece of yourself to fit in where you don’t belong? Look for those around you who you get along with, who you know are there for you if you need them. True friends. Not these Regina George assholes sitting around and telling you ‘you can’t sit with us’ if you’re friends with certain people. 

And that leads into...

🍵+ fake people

     How in the world do people keep this shit up? How do you have the time and energy to be two-faced?

Sure, go ahead and bitch about someone in private but don’t spread shit needlessly. You have zero reason not to block them and move tf on. This isn’t a high school. You’re allowed to just not talk to someone, that’s fine. 

Honestly though, the fakeness of some people on this website is absolutely unreal. It’s like being in high school all over again. I don’t have time for that shit and I graduated over ten years ago. I get some of you are 18-22 and still have some of that spirit going for it but for the love of god, focus on growing out of it. You’ll feel a hell of a lot better when you do. 

I’m at the point in my life where I don’t give a shit if someone dislikes me but if they do, I want them to at least be honest about it. Don’t like me? Hate my guts? Want to dance on my grave when I’m dead? Do it, I don’t give a fuck. But don’t fucking pretend to like me when you don’t. I don’t play these games. 

The same goes for ass kissing. And yes, I see a lot of that on here too. People sucking up to popular blogs so they can get attention - I consider that to be two-faced and fake too. Like you literally can rarely take people at face value on this website because they hide behind so many masks but at some point, they show who they really are. 

I’m straight up about it and I have been for a long time - I can be a raging asshole. Is that my natural state? No, but I’ll snap back if someone gets aggressive with me. Which is funny because the one who started it wants to pretend to be a victim after I go at them. 

🍵villains

     I’ve said it countless times that villains need to be allowed to be villains. Woobifying them down to be a redeemed uwu boi just so you can get ships is just ridiculous. That’s great if you’re happy about getting the interactions you’re seeking but holy shit some of these people literally make these canon villains 50 OCs in a trench coat. Or a shitty self insert. 

It’s difficult to write a villain and keep to their base personality, I’ll admit that, but shitting all over what makes the character the character they are makes no sense. If you loved the character for how they’re shown in their canon media, then why are you going to change them so much? 

Yeah I get it ‘uwu but Ripley, you did the same thing with Prompto and made him a sex worker!’ 

Not the same. I kept all the canon history and entity, all I did was fill in the gaps and refuse to make him uwu super soff sweatah boi like the majority of the fandom. Easy peasy. 

Look, it’s easy to be canon divergent and stay true to the source material without essentially making an OC out of a canon. All it requires is a bit of thought and creativity. Something that some on here tend to lack, like certain thieves I know.

🍵real life representations in rp

     Okay so I’m taking this to mean people RPing youtubers and shit so uh. Yeah, here’s the thing about that. Some of these people know you’re fucking do it and want you to fucking stop. If you can’t respect their wishes then you deserve to whatever the consequences will be and I have no fucking sympathy for you. 

I mean think of it this way, you wake up one day and you’re having a good fucking time. You log on your favorite social media and there’s a message. Cool, normal shit. But this message has a link to it and they say, in a serious way, you need to see this. You click the link and your blood runs cold - there’s your face and someone is pretending to be you.

Do you see the fucking issue now? These people don’t realize or don’t care that you’re writing them as a character because of their work persona or whatever they put out into the world. All they’re seeing is something that makes them hugely uncomfortable, especially if you’re shipping on that RP blog with other known youtubers and shit. 

It’s creepy. It’s disrespectful. You need to fucking stop. 

Sure, there’s a few who really don’t give a shit and that’s fine if they don’t but don’t expect people to bother with following or interacting with you. It’s different than having an OC or RPing the canon that the actor has performed. That’s fine. But the actual people? Markiplier, Pewdiepie, that fucking disgusting, abusive onion boy? I may not like the last one but it’s still weird and it’s not okay.  Stop doing this shit if they don’t want you to do it. Yes, this goes for the k and j/pop singer blogs of people rping them as themselves. Fucking stop it. You shouldn’t need my salty ass to tell you this if you’ve got a functioning brain.

🍵sinday

     Why have a single Sunday for sin when it happens all the time on the dash anyway lmao. Like look, I used to be one of those people who would smut outright all over the place but I just can’t be bothered anymore. It was 90% of my blog content because that’s all people wanted and I got tired of being used for it. 

For me, smutting got boring as hell. There’s only so many ways you can write someone shoving their dick or fingers in a hole or moaning and writhing all over the place. It gets bland and tasteless after a while. I’ve seen a few people actually manage to make it look like art. I still don’t know how they managed it. Well, yeah I know how they did it because it was mainly purple prose but I’m not into that style so fuck that. 

Also why call it Sinday at all? Why does NSFW have to be considered a sin? Idk, something about that annoys me and I can’t quite put my finger on it but it reeks of Puritanical shit. Reminds me of how bible beaters go around claiming things are a sin all the time. Yeah, I get it, that’s likely not the intention but it gets annoying to see. Especially when people are smutting all over the place anyway. Hated the name of this trend when it first came about and I still do.

I don’t care if someone wants to smut on the dash though, don’t get me wrong on that and don’t twist my words. You want to have your character banged harder than a screen door in a hurricane? Fucking go for it. I just prefer to fade to black. So really, like most things, it falls to preference. 

[noonmutter]

*Grinch grin* Make me admit something... DO THEM ALL.

Pff like I haven’t had to do this rodeo before come at me scrub

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

That’s either my realtor or my mom, so no.

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

No? Why on earth would I?

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

Not to my knowledge.

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

Absolutely. Trust is the core of a relationship, without it you’re just acquaintances who maybe make eye contact sometimes.

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

From the phrasing I assume this means “like-like” and since I live with my fiance, yes.

( I really did answer all of them at once but I’m not enough of a turd to fill everybody’s dashboard so the rest are behind the cut! )

6. What are you excited for?

Boring work stuff that makes little sense to anybody who doesn’t work with me but is going to be just as jazzed about it as I am because they’re FINALLY FIXING SOMETHING I SAID WAS A PROBLEM A YEAR AGO–AGAIN

7. What happened tonight?

Um… it’s four in the afternoon here.

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

I think it’s disgusting when anybody gets wasted. You aren’t even conscious of whatever fun you might be having and you sure as shit aren’t tasting whatever you’re drinking anymore. Quit that.

9. Is confidence cute?

Only in the context of someone who’s about to get the living shit beaten/embarrassed out of them for being confident against all advice to the contrary (”He’s gonna go punch a tarrasque in the nads! How cute!”). Otherwise confidence is just a good thing and generally rad.

10. What is the last beverage you had?

I just finished my second coke of the day about ten seconds ago and am debating a third.

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

“Fully” is the operative word and that number is zero of any sex.

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

Probably. It’s hard not to get them when you’re at a certain size.

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

Work, go home, either raid or RP, and sleep. I do that basically every Saturday night.

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

Ideally a house that isn’t being sold by an idiot, but probably something less interesting like Starbucks.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

Hey @dwyndel would you consider what we’re doing “going out”?

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

I mean, I hope so? Growth is important.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

My fiance and my mom.

18. The last time you felt broken?

hahaha “last time”

19. Have you had sex today?

hahaha “today” I haven’t gotten laid in years. plural.

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

what the hell kinda question is this that’s not something you admit to, that’s a question that answers itself and the answer is either “no” because you aren’t or “yes” because the question made you realize it

21. Are you in a good mood?

Pretty good, yeah

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

Yes but I’ll be peeing literally the entire time

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

Probably. I got a lot of my looks from him, which aggravates the shit out of me since he’s a terrible person

24. What do you want right this second?

A nap

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

‘Can I watch’‘Were they hot’‘Do they like sharing’‘Your breath smells like infidelity’

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Yep, white streak included

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Probably not, but there’s a huuuuuuge difference between “doesn’t make me laugh” and “does not have a compatible sense of humor with mine.” Some people just aren’t funny. Like me. I’m not funny at all. Jesus am I ever not funny. Wow.

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

A fucking Spanish Inquisition reference from Dan Avidan in Game Grumps that I’m still mad at myself for laughing at

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Eh, not really. I don’t have homesickness pangs or people-aren’t-here pangs unless I know I can’t get to them because they’re not in a place where I can go. Otherwise I’d be a sad puppy every time I went to work

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

No. Some people are not worth anyone’s time or effort and often they know it and abuse people’s willingness to forgive or try.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

Hatred is hard to pull out of me unless you personally did something really offensive and permanent to me. I get tired of people but I very rarely hate them. The last “boy” (he is very much an adult, calling him “boy” is fuckin’ wierd) I talked to was my supervisor and I rather like Phill

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

I am engaged. You tell me.

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

Not only did I just say I’m contemplating a third Coke at 4 in the afternoon, I have a bucket to collect pull tabs in for the fiance to make chainmail out of

34. Listening to?

My coworkers chattering in the office around me. I could listen to music if I wanted, but the office headsets suck ass and can’t handle bass of any kind

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

Not often. My handwriting is awful and I try not to write by hand at all, but if I do, it’ll probably be in pen

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

Either at home or running errands

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Shit no

38. Who did you last call?

Not counting work calls, I try not to call people if I can possibly avoid it. Uhhhhhhh…probably my mom.

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

hahaha “dance”

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

Because she was there and smoochable

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

Haven’t had cupcakes in a VERY long time, have had very good muffins from Costco this week though

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

Nope, they live in Virginia and I don’t

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

Am I misunderstanding what you do to attract a mate?

44. Do you tan in the nude?

I don’t tan.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

Nope, that’s my smooch and I’m keeping it

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

Sorta. RP is kinda like talking, right?

47. Who was the last person to call you?

Realtor.

48. Do you sing in the shower?

Not really. If anything I hum; being able to hear myself too well makes me get quieter

49. Do you dance in the car?

Drum stuff out, finger-piano on the steering wheel, occasionally headbang.

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

Once, and I’d love to again. The first/last time I fired a bow I took ten shots and bullseyed six.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

College. Never doing that shit again.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

That’s sort of the point of them. The question isn’t are they cheesy, it’s are they good.

53. Is Christmas stressful?

Of course it is. The only time it’s not is when you’re too young/old to have conscious thoughts, because even young children worry endlessly over what they’re getting or if they’re getting anything or what if santa thinks they were bad

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

I fucking love pierogi but I’ve only ever had the frozen ones from Mrs. T’s, Dwyn and I keep saying we should find time to make some and see how much better it is

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

Don’t really do pies of any kind except for French Silk. Fruit pie filling is a wierd texture I don’t really enjoy

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

Architect and animator

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

Enough to be unsettled late at night by noises I can’t identify, not enough to be unwilling to sleep in an allegedly haunted house

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

All day every day. No joke somedays I wonder if people who think they have psychic powers are just people with really persistent deja vu, it feels like magic

59. Take a vitamin daily?

vitamin coke or vitamin coffee

60. Wear slippers?

Technically the shoes I wore to work today could count as slippers. I call them my crazy-people shoes because they have no shoelaces and no fittings

61. Wear a bath robe?

only when it’s really cold in the house

62. What do you wear to bed?

Nothing

63. First concert?

Blind Guardian at the Pop’s in Chicago when I was 13. It was their first US tour and my parents are boss people who really wanted to humor their kid. People at the show realized this tiny barely-teenager in the back knew every word to every song and pulled me to the front, and there was no barrier between crowd and stage, so I got to lean on the stage and got smirked at by the guitarist. After the show I shook Hansi Kirsch’s hand and got my copy of Imaginations From The Other Side signed. Good times

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

Target

65. Nike or Adidas?

Neither, they’re both overpriced shit

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

Cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Peanuts, although I’d rather have cashews

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

I don’t know any taylor swift songs nor do I care

69. Ever take dance lessons?

Nope

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

Hadn’t given that one any thought beyond helping her job hunt in the immediate sense. I can see her doing costuming on a professional level eventually, though

71. Can you curl your tongue?

I never know what people mean by this. I can make an “O” shape with my tongue but that’s it, I never figured out that clover shape

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

Multiple. I almost went national in …something-before-sixth-grade-because-I-remember-beating-sixth-graders but refused to go because I wanted to stop being stared at (seriously, I just didn’t want to go because I hated being on a stage). I’m sure that frustrated my mom

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

A few times, but not often

74. What is your favorite book?

One of the Discworld novels, but the answer is ever-changing because they’re all pretty goddamn great. Picking one out of a hat, Unseen Academicals is pretty rad just because it’s got such a great take on [thing that spoils the plot if I say it]

75. Do you study better with or without music?

I was not a studying kid, I was a “retains everything as long as nobody stops me from doodling while they’re teaching and it’s not about numbers” kid. Thinking about it I was probably doing some eidetic memorization tricks without realizing it, my fact retention is/was top notch when I cared

76. Regularly burn incense?

Nope, I have over 100 allergies and a lot of them are to plants so I’m not risking that bullshit

77. Ever been in love?

I am engaged to be married right now

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

Does Critical Role count?

79. What was the last concert you saw?

H…alestorm? I think? It’s actually been a while

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

Hot plz

81. Tea or coffee?

Tea if it’s just the drink itself, coffee if I can put a ton of shit in it so I can only barely taste the actual coffee

82. Favorite type of cookie?

Does Not Contain Raisins

83. Can you swim well?

I can swim, Iunno about well? I’ve never been in danger of drowning for lack of swimming ability, I guess

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

What an interesting question, it hadn’t occurred to me there are people who can’t until now

85. Are you patient?

When I choose to be

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

If it’s affordable and the right band, band. Otherwise DJ and karaoke because HELL YEAH GET YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY DRUNK AND LET THEM SING

87. Ever won a contest?

A smattering of spelling bees, a couple art contests, summer reading competitions. Nerd shit, yanno? Although I’ve won those water gun shooting gallery games at Six Flags every time there’s enough people to play, too

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

Nope

89. Which are better black or green olives?

Olives are gross

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

It’s sex, who cares

91. Best room for a fireplace?

Living room and/or bedroom

92. Do you want to get married 

I am engaged right now

@theengraver EAT ME