#but so many great details deserve a long comment

[adventures-in-mangaland]

Dead Boy Detectives: Fic Recs

My latest hyperfixation is Dead Boy Detectives, so oc I've been reading and commenting on a ton of fic. And it's been really nice because the response of the authors has been so warm. I don't think I've ever gotten so many replies so quickly! Also, the fandom has inspired me to actually start writing again for the first time in two years and I've got a great idea for a fanvid. (Any tips on how to make one would be appreciated! 😅)

So in tribute to the lovely fandom, here's a fic rec post (nearly all payneland):

in this city there's a thousand things I want to say to you by laiqualaurelote

Edwin has a sexual awakening and it blows Charles' mind. And other things. Very funny and well written. Also features minor Edwin/Cat King and Edwardian flirting.

I also highly recommend the saviour of the broken, the beaten, and the damned by the same author, which is a kind of multiverse!Edwin fic? Featuring Edwin dying? And Niko time travelling? Trying to save time? Anyway, interesting to see Edwin alive, ageing and in different periods of time/his life.

For the First Time Twice by LikeMmmCookies

Amnesia fic! Charles loses his memories and thinks he and Edwin are married. Very cute (tandem bike date!) and well written, though Edwin's point of view still manages to be angsty. Also, the yearning is off the charts and the most recent chapter turned up the heat.

I guess you're stuck with me by Punny_Puck

AU in which Edwin and Charles actually got married pre-show. Funny, cute with a sweet marriage proposal prequel. Instant comfort fic.

Dance the Night by Gruoch

The gang are hunting an energy-sucking vampire that targets beautiful people, so naturally Edwin MUST disguise himself as the hottest girl in London. This one starts out fun and campy then takes a hard left turn into Serious Business. Prepare yourself for emotional moments, worldbuilding and some really excellent horror.

Long Past Time by sanctuary_for_all

Charles proposes to Edwin post canon. It's a short and sweet established relationship fic with some cool worldbuilding about ghosts and their ability to shape their clothing/appearances.

lay my hands on heaven by Opossum_Subatomic

I had to include a PWP and this is a great one. Extremely well written, in character and romantic. And explicit, obviously.

Data Points by Asidian

Edwin learns to cuddle. It's a production and completely adorable. I love a fic that explores the difference between the boys' physicality and this one's really on point. The writing and characterisation are great and it's nice to see Edwin taking care of Charles.

I also recommend Lanterns In the Dark, which sets the scene for Charles and Edwin's first meeting with some gut-wrenching details about Charles' homelife and Edwin's escape from Hell.

When I Was a Young Boy by flowerbritts

A Good Omens crossover and AU in which Aziraphale is Edwin's adopted father. Family reunions and revelations abound. Also, Edwin gets to be a teenager and slam doors while shouting, as he deserves.

The author has also written Wait, I'm Coming Too, which is a very sweet post canon 'Charles Worries About Edwin and Realises His Feelings' fic inspired by that 'Edwin reading Heartstopper' fanart. Both fics deserve more love!

A Slight Miscalculation by kantigone

Idiots in Love and Didn't Know They Were Dating. Crystal and Niko are the real MVPs, for real. A treat.

Terrible at Keeping Secrets (5+1) by ASingularSadSoggyPringle

Interesting demon!Edwin AU. Charles is a precious cupcake in this fic and Edwin is mostly the same with some Darker moments. I loved the concept and the author adds in some great, creepy details.

somaesthesia by perexcri

Edwin's journey from being touch-averse to touch-starved... at least when it comes to Charles. Palmistry is involved. I loved Edwin's characterisation and the unresolved sexual/romantic tension was on point.

And possibly I like the thrill (of under me you quite so new) by Leandra

Edwin explores his sexuality and re-negotiates his relationship with Charles. Meanwhile, the gang take on the case of a ghost who wants them to matchmake his still-living lover. Crosses over with The Sandman. And Edwin gets to be confident and flirty as a treat.

Always by How You Doing (FancyMeetingYouHere)

Hurt/Comfort fic in which Edwin has a traumatic flashback to the doll-head demon spider and Charles looks after him. Charles reading Good Omens to Edwin is a nice, meta touch.

Made You Look by Baby_Spinach

The agency are hunting an incubus that decides to take on Edwin's appearance. A repression explosion ensues. Fun fic.

Shape Me by dearheartdont

This one's actually a character study of Charles and his mixed race Indian heritage (so no Edwin) and it's so well done. It's also part of a series in progress about Charles growing up in the 80s with all the racism and homophobia that that entails. I look forward to seeing where it goes.

The Most Tender Place In My Heart by coloursflyaway

Edwin shares memories of how he fell in love with Charles, who figures out his own feelings in the process. It's super sweet and involves fun pre-show flashbacks and defintely deserves more attention!

I also loved Won't Fear Love by the same author, in which Charles takes Edwin out on dates and breaks the cuteness scales. And shout out to Good Enough which is the first fic I bookmarked for this fandom! 🥳

Anyway, thank you to all these amazing writers for making this fandom so special! 🥰

[love-belle]

you're losing me !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which she's losing him and he's not fighting for her either.

or

for when you lose someone you thought you'd spend your lifetime with. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // max verstappen x fem!reader

sequel - i hope i never lose you ⋆·˚ ༘ *

warnings - language

author's note - my heart broke while writing this :// still, i hope u like it!! lmk if u want a part ii though i'll write it anyway. i love you, thank you for reading <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, yourbestfriend, lilymhe and 2,628,926 others

yourusername when the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst

9,926 comments

username MOTHER?????

username max :///

username if they break up i simply give up, it's that easy x

lewishamilton sending you hugs and love from me and roscoe ❤️

-> yourusername missing you both ❤️

username guys............what if they did b word u word ?

-> username don't spread lies 😘😘😘

-> username they break up and i stop believing in love ☺️

lilymhe i could be a better boyfriend just saying 😮‍💨

-> yourusername you're already my wife 😘

username we really went from "the first flowers he ever brought me became my favourite" to "when the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst" huh

username im just gonna ignore this!!

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, georgerussell63, charles_leclerc and 897,628 others

maxverstappen1 pole position!!

very happy that we managed to put the best bits together for qualifying today! great work by everyone in the team redbullracing & hondaracingglobal 👏

looking forward to be racing again tomorrow 👌

7,972 comments

username NO Y/N????????

username im delulu

username is it just me or did he not seem really into it like idk

-> username if me and my fiancée broke up i'd be the same

danielricciardo proud of you mate! 👏

username need y/n to comment rn so i can be at peace

username nice prank guys 😐😐 REALLY funny 😐😐😐

username NO BC THE WAY HE ALMOST MENTIONED Y/N WHILE TALKING TO A REPORTER BUT STOPPED HIMSELF

-> username NO BC MY HEART BROKE SEEING

-> username they're really over huh

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by f1_wags, formulaone.updates, maxverstappen111 and 78,926 others

f1newzzz formula one driver, max verstappen and singer/songwriter y/n y/l/n called it quits on their engagement, source close to the pair claimed. "they just wanted different things, their goals weren't aligning," the source explained, "marriage had seemed like the picture perfect ending at that time, when max had proposed, but in the long run, they both would've been very unhappy." though the exact reason for their split isn't very clear, many speculate that it was actually verstappen who ended their 11 month engagement. for more details, click on the link in our bio.

479 comments

username ur telling me that the woman who wrote "your past and mine are parallel lines, stars all aligned and they intertwined" about her man wanted "different things"??????? ok.

username max i just wanna talk ☺️☺️☺️

username no bc they were so in love everyone could see it

username she did not write "i don't wanna look at anything else now that i saw u" for u to write this fucking shit post

username "she's been my rock, my biggest supporter, my proudest fan and im very grateful for her, forever will be. i don't deserve her and i don't know what good i did to have her in my life but im very glad i do" NO WAY HE BROKE UP WITH HER

username idk man if u write 3+ albums about someone and stuff like "all that u ever wanted from me was sweet nothing" or "all's well that ends well to end up with u" the universe should it impossible for u to break up

username just a daily reminder that u should drink rat poison before falling in love bc it never works out

username the day i stopped believing in love

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, lilymhe and 2,865,628 others

yourusername you're losing me is finally yours. this is easily the most vulnerable, heartbreaking, raw and personal song that i have ever written and sharing it with you all is like sharing a big piece of myself. you are, at some point in their life, at a place where you're begging someone to love you the way you love them and i think that's a saddest thing someone can do, i've been there. this song is a messy compilation of my feelings, my thoughts and the enigma in my mind, i hope you like it. and finally, to that one person, thank you for being my forever. it was real.

16,829 comments

username I WOULDN'T MARRY ME EITHER A PATHOLOGICAL PEOPLE PLEASER WHO ONLY WANTED YOU TO SEE HER

username the way we went from "i'd marry u with paper rings" to "i wouldn't marry me either"

username DO SOMETHING BABE SAY SOMETHING

danielricciardo in awe of you and your talent 🤍🤍🤍🤍

-> yourusername danny i heart you

username no bc what really hurts is that throughout her albums and songs she's always been like "i can't wait to marry you!!!!" like from lover and paper rings and now it's hinted that max didn't wanna marry her and the way she's trying not to blame him by saying "i wouldn't marry me either"

-> username "she would've made such a lovely bride what a shame she's fucked in her head" to "i wouldn't marry me either"

username the way that some people were saying that they got married secretly and the whole time they were broken up and she still continued to act like everything was fine like my heart's hurting for her

username "thank you for being my forever, it was real" IM CRYING IH NY GKD

carmenmmundt the most talented person i know 🤍 i love you so much y/n/n

-> yourusername you own my heart 💌

username the 1 is gonna start hitting different now

-> username "it would've been fun if u would've been the one"

username her heartbeat in the song i died.

username thinking about "he didn't try at all though" vs. "do something babe say something"

[evasive-anon]

I'M DONE WITH THE LIES AND DECEIT JASON TODD DOESN'T HAVE RED HAIR

Or at least he doesn't have red hair in current canon or most of the continuity and y'all should get with it.

We've all seen it, there's a post about Jason and someone comments on the post and brings up how when Jason first appeared as robin he had red hair and he had to dye it black to be robin.

This is not true in current canon and only had a brief window of existence in the comics so lets dig into the different hair colors we've seen on Jason, they are as follows:

Blonde (Pre-Crisis, before 1985)

Black (post 1985, like 23-24 years of Post Crisis?? a long time)

Red (~2 years of Post Crisis 2009-2011)

Black (New 52, 2011-2016)

Black (Rebirth, 2016 onward, current canon)

Dropping detailed receipts below and god some of these panels are wacky:

Pre-Crisis/ Golden Age - BLONDE HAIR

First appearance of Jason Todd was a little blonde circus boy like a Great Value recolored version of Dick Grayson and if I have to live with that knowledge then we all do.

A lot of people claim this version of Jason also had red hair and for anyone who wants to say this blatantly yellow hair isn’t blonde compare it to Vicki Vale’s actual red hair which is orange:

Vicki Vale (orange)

Jason Todd (its fucking yellow)

The assertion that Jason dyed his hair to be robin are not entirely false in this version, in Batman (1940) #366 Jay did dye his hair black so he could pass as Dick cause he wasn't officially robin yet but wanted to help Batman. Dying his hair made him look so much like Dick it actually did trick Batman and the Joker which is weird since Jason's like a child and Dick is like legally an adult at point but whatever. Either way it wasn’t Batman making him dye it, in fact Bruce was unhappy about it.

Blonde Jason is obviously no longer canon and hasn't been since.

Post Crisis/ Batman New Adventures - BLACK HAIR

Jason was first shown with black hair when he stole a tire off the Batmobile. This iteration of Jason's introduction is the one we all know today and is considered by most to be Jason's *real* debut.

This comic run is no longer canon but is often used as the backbone for new canon content.

Post Crisis 2009 to 2011 - RED HAIR

OK, here is where all the red hair lore comes in. During Dick's Batman run with Damian as Robin the writer (fuck you, Grant Morrison) decided to introduce this shit:

This made not only made no fucking sense in Post-Crisis continuity, but also Jason look stupid as fuck.

For some reason people have snatched this panel and held on to it with all their might. Which like - I mean, the idea of Bruce making a kid dye their hair to be robin is super fucking funny but like, c'mon dude. There are so many real reasons to judge Bruce already lmao.

Jason kept having red hair until the New 52. Its no longer canon.

New 52 - BLACK HAIR

Giving you guys all caste Jay for this shot cause I still simp for that storyline, he deserves the magic fire swords fr.

He's back to black hair and we're almost to current canon.

DC Rebirth (current canon) - BLACK HAIR

We made it to current canon and his hair is still natural black bby. LETS GO.

[iwantmochisoup]

mochi soup's sappy happy crying session

i'm so sorry, please bear with me, but i really need to be super sappy rq. (it's gonna be a long one, so imma add the read more here)

i just recently hit 10k likes and lost my shit over it qwq;; i was overthinking a lot, i wanted to run away, and it kinda hit me because honestly, i don't think i deserve all this ;; like i'm just being silly on here and having fun ;;

but that aside, i have been thinking how to properly say thank you, since words are really hard for me (wow big shocker ikr lmao) but i realized it's thanks giving, despite me not being from america i saw all the love today and i thought maybe i can try, this time, to put it to words. (i'm sorry if i don't make sense at all, and honestly don't mind me honestly, i've always been super scared of talking on here but i need to ramble)

so, idk how to start this, i honestly quit art for good like 4 years ago, won't comment on it but this year i tried to pick it back up. i am so scared of people, especially online but i thought why not, so i made a lil acc on here, i wanna say i'm so lucky to have met you all and seeing people like my art, seriously it's what keeps me going. (that sounds so sappy but for what feels like the first time in my life i am genuinely being myself and i am so happy idk what to do) this is way too long of an intro...

i'm gonna start off my twin of course, it feels fitting hehe ;; so, @saltedbiscuiit you know how shit i am at words, and you know how thankful i am for you, and we talked so much about it already so i'll try to keep this short ;; i am genuinely so happy to have met you, kinda feels like it changed my life back then, it honestly hasn't been that long really, since the art trade back in july, i honestly feel like i found my other half (that's so sappy pls don't cry but i'm being honest) thank you so much for everything, you do so much for me, even if you don't know it and i am honestly so so grateful and happy. thank you so much <3 hehe, salty soup salted mochi

the next one is @cryptid-juzou we just recently met, but i fell in love with your writing, almost instantly!! you're such a great friend, and it's sm fun talking and playing games with you!! and i'm so happy and grateful to have met you!! Really, thank you so much for all you did for me and for accepting the collab! To be working with you on our thing (i won't go into detail, yk big surprise and all) honestly, i'm so so happy and i can't wait to finish it!!

next!! @k-aez !! you've been haunting me in dreams, scolding me and i still think about that raw chicken art you did. okay jokes aside, i'm so happy to have met you and i feel the need to thank you like forever for creating the server and everything you've done. you've been supporting me and pushing me to get out of my ass and kept encouraging me sm. i can't put it into words, but i will be forever grateful for everything!

big big thanks to @ohhcinnybuns, @anticidic and @ediblepandas ya'll have been feeding my brain so many good ideas and enabled some brainrot i will thank you forever for. cinny, you know how much i love your fics and your massive brain in general, i'm so happy i was brave enough back then, and did some art of your ideas, idk if i would even tried to join the server if i didn't see your reblog. rosie, you know how much i love your fics, i'm not about to fangirl in public but i'm truly thankful, you've inspired me so so much, i love with your writing, your kitsunezai au and your scream in phasmo still is the best scream ever! pandas, hehe yk i need to thank you here too! your yapping about dresses and in general talking to you is so much fun! i love your brain sm! thank you so so much for enabling me so much, and please send me more dresses, i love them all!

and, ofc i have to give big thanks the chaos trio too @thatghostinyourbog @spccts & @msshinylemon !! yes, i'm calling you that, that name is fitting, shovel fight if you disagree, losers >:3 i have to thank you three a lot, ya'll are so fun to hang around and play games with, i seriously love what you all do, be it drawing, writing or just the way ya'll yap nonstop! it's sm fun hanging out and i love how we bounce off each other so well and ya'll inspire me so much!! also tysm @nolongerforthetainted for babysitting them!! i really love your writing sm and it's always sm fun yapping with you, and also pls make more coleslaw beds!! i need them! but honestly, thank you so much, i am so happy to have met ya'll and i always look forward to talking and hang out with ya'll!!

WAAAAA THAT IS SO LONG OMG BUT!!! I also need to thank each one of you, all my moots and everyone that just takes their time to look at my art, leave a like, reblog, comment what ever really, i appreciate each and every one of you so so much! thank you all so much, from the bottom of my heart, i can't explain how much it means to me! i also want to give a lil thanks to @noakiie @nevertheblood @altruistic-meme @artsyaudience @konbupie @jellyphink & @lethargyinafishbowl i wanted to tag more but i'm so sorry but i'm too scared, really ;;;

idk how to end this, honestly, i feel like i wrote too much and rambled way too much. i guess i'm just gonna-- *runs*

WITH MUCH LOVE AND A BIG HOP STEP JUMP -mochi soup

[sauronpasta]

Rings of Power Sauron/Galadriel Fic Rec Post of Fics that are Exactly my Taste: Part 1/? Canon Compliant/Divergent One-Shots

Since I have torn through too many Rings of Power fics to count since the season 2 finale, I thought it was time to compile the best of them into some lists and send it out into the universe. I think I'm the last person on earth who doesn't know how to make fancy photo edits, but I am over-caffeinated and sleep deprived and will provide semi-detailed reviews for each fic to make up for my post being plain and simple. So don't scroll by! All of these fics deserve to be read and re-read, and please leave these great writers comments if you do partake! Also, if you know of these authors having tumblr handles, please let me know so that I can tag them!

ouroboros by Amuria, 17k, E: Post-S2 Finale Time Loop Fic. Galadriel keeps ending up on the raft with Halbrand and tries to change what happened. The best part of this fic, other than the gorgeous prose, is that it takes a well-loved fanfic trope, the time loop, and really ups the stakes with relentless pacing. It's not just a different versions of the raft scene, but short loops, long loops, loops where she tries to kill Sauron, and loops where they find that they are good partners. It's disorienting in a good way, because you are along for the ride with Galadriel.

salt by thefudge, 2.5k, E: HIGHLY recommend, one of my favorite pieces of fan fiction ever. One word to describe this fic: trippy. It takes place on the raft, after the storm and before Halbrand and Galadriel are rescued by Elendil. Galadriel falls deeper and deeper into various deceptions of Sauron, leading her into an un-reality where time is meaningless. The very definition of Sauron playing with his food. Artsy porn at its finest, mind the tags on this one, but definitely give it a read if it's up your alley.

Dragged by the Crown by fawningbruises, 12k, E: This is more of a Sauron character study, with a bit of Morgoth/Sauron and Sauron/Galadriel. So many great descriptions of first age Silmarillion stories and locations from Sauron's POV. If you enjoy Sauron being slightly snarky and an often exhausted evil bureaucrat, this is the fic for you.

Half Life by audreystark, 7k, E: Porn with Plot at its finest. Galadriel is making trouble for Sauron while he travels around Harad distributing the nine rings. I like that this fic explores the particular Halbrand/Galadriel dynamic, but post-season 2 rather than backtracking to season 1. I also like that Halbrand is hot as hell and Galadriel fights him tooth and nail the entire time, but still wants him. Just a great quick read.

The Waiting Game by ninathena (@athenasnina), 2.5k, G: I love a touch of sadness and tragedy with my Sauron/Galadriel stories, and this little fic explores the potential for a moment that I think about a lot. Would Galadriel feel it when Sauron is finally defeated in the third age? More importantly, would they be able to see each other one last time? The biggest tragedy with them is that no matter what, they are still bonded. I won't give anything more away here, go read! You will feel things.

I will make a separate list for multi-chapter fics and AUs. Happy reading!

[jiminjamms]

sex therapy :: 18. behind closed doors

chapter tags/warnings: mentions of sex. infidelity/adultery. misogynistic! naoya. manipulative undertones. strong language. classism. heavy angst.

word count: 3.2k

notes: there was a lot dished out in the last chapter, aha! i promise that the storyline's background will get elaborated on in the following chapters. also, this chapter is posted just as jjk season 2 is on schedule for release! so excited to see our man toji and the iconic sashisu trio in full action. likes, comments, and reblogs are deeply appreciated. xoxo

fic masterlist | 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33.

“Leave me alone, woman!”   

Those were Naoya’s words as he pushed you aside from the foyer, beyond aggravated that—on the one evening he sought a reprieve from his apartment—you followed him to the door, interrogating him on his whereabouts. In his honest opinion, you had no business sticking your nose into his personal matters.  

He thought he had made his intentions clear that other night, when you first confronted him about his infidelity: that there was no love in his marriage with you, that he had long promised his heart to someone else, and—the most important bit—that he would not meddle into your affairs so long as you did not meddle with his.  

These past few weeks, he had completed his part of the promise. At the very least, you should give him credit for the many evenings he spent pounding his thick semen deep into your warm core, ensuring that not a drip would be wasted.

The thought may have been in vain, but you were sure that you were winning your husband back. 

Sure, Naoya Zenin was by no means a big cuddler. Instead, he was the type to mumble a terse ‘good night’ after he had gotten his own orgasm, tossing over to his side of the bed as he slapped your thighs one last time. 

But tonight was when you realized that Naoya had never changed at all. 

With nothing but a nightgown, you chased after his fast paces. “Then, will you be home in the morn—” 

“Know your place before you speak,” he countered impatiently, not showing the slightest worry for the way your lower lip trembled. With great irritation, he ignored your frozen form, departing with one last comment that inflicted a thousand times more pain than any physical wound: “In the Zenin household, all you are is a fucking ornament.”  

In other words: pretty, nice, and ultimately useless.  

Which is how you ended up suffering alone, all the bottled-up torment gushing out the very moment Naoya disappeared past the front door. 

Truthfully, you were not sure how long you had been sobbing, shaking, and crying. As the tears that blurred your vision cleared into a puddle by your feet, you stared into a nearby mirror reflection. Sorrow etched into your features: vibrant eyes now dull and cheeks with remnants of cascading tears.

What did you do to deserve this? 

Was this because you were the homewrecker to begin with? Was this your punishment for marrying a man who had already promised himself to someone else, for hindering the romance between your husband and his true lover? 

Naoya’s secret girlfriend, not his lawfully wedded wife, was whose existence had carved a special place in his heart. But you?    

No, you were just his toy, a ragdoll to be tossed to the side once he was done and tired. 

If only you weren’t so selfless. Your life would have been easier if you cared less about being a people pleaser and instead prioritized your mental well-being. 

But Naoya had made a point. His father Naobito and your father Daisuke had spent months arranging the marriage details, determined to solidify the relations between two of Japan’s most influential households.  

‘We wouldn’t want them finding out about our part-time flings, now would we?’ 

Weeks later, these words from your husband still echoed fresh in your head. Naoya was right, he and you were married for a reason. Although he had long been devoted to another woman and you had secretly indulged in various extramarital ventures, your vows to each other had been pledged in a ceremony that graced television screens and magazine covers. Renouncing the marriage and subsequently disclosing the reasons would not only leave you both falling from grace but also begin an ugly feud between families too powerful and dignified to see themselves lose. 

At this point, there seemed to be no solution to your marriage, nor did you desire one.

With this, anyone could tell you desperately needed someone who would listen to your anguished thoughts. You needed someone who would empathize with your frustration and your sentiments. You needed a therapist.  

Perhaps...a sex therapist.

Suddenly, you remembered. Mind in auto-pilot, you traveled toward the unit's walk-in closet, connected to the master bedroom from the side. With so many handbags on display, you nearly forgot about this one Goyard tote placed toward the bottom had it not been for the very important business card you had left inside. 

You rummaged through the purse and fished a thick black badge from an inner pocket.   

Dr. Toji Fushiguro.   

Delicately, your fingers traced the name etched in graceful and golden strokes, seemingly flowing over the card’s sleek surface. Your last encounter with Toji, that one evening in Teyvat, didn’t end prettily. How you now wished to apologize to him, to tell him that he was right, that he had always been right—about how you had deserved better, about how Naoya could never truly like you, and about how you should have been considering a divorce long ago.  

When the scattered light from above played upon the card, your eyes were drawn to the embossed numbers below his office’s address.    

What if...you called him? 

No, you really shouldn’t. Toji could not be burdened with your internal agony. Not at this late night hour.

But if your own therapist Toji wasn’t the one to talk to, then who would that be?    

You abhorred how you were alone with your thoughts and, surely, no one else—not your father, and definitely not your husband—would want to deal with your emotional turmoil. 

So, you decided.  

Grabbing your phone from the tabletop, you dialed the number, the sound of each digit pressing against the screen echoing in the quiet room and your nerves dancing in tandem with anticipation as the phone started to ring.  

What if Toji didn’t want to talk to you anymore? Besides, you did just depart suddenly and angrily the last time you had seen him. Honestly, you could still back out from this call if you wanted to. Maybe the better decision would be to sit in your own discomfort and try to figure out the solution yourself rather than— 

“Good evening, you have reached Dr. Toji Fushiguro’s line after hours. How may I help you?” 

Wait, who was this? 

For a moment, panic crashed upon you. Interacting with strangers was never your strong suit, but there was a familiarity to the enigmatic timbre that hummed on the other line. The first and last time you dialed Toji’s number, his son had picked up, giving your call a very awkward start. Whoever picked up this time was not the teenage boy, however, and you pursed your lips in an attempt to identify the mystery man.    

“Geto...?” you murmured when the realization struck.  

Upon recognizing your voice, the said man paused briefly, likely surprised to hear from you but moreso bothered at the shakiness in your tone. 

“Hey, are you alright?” 

“Can you please,” and you stopped. 

With floodgates bursting, you melted onto the floor with a choked sob, clutching your nightgown to ground yourself. Gosh, you had to stop sniffling if you ever wanted to finish your sentence. What a mess you were, your syllables punctuated with shaky inhales. 

“Can I please talk to Toji?” 

When the line fell silent once more, your heart raced. Only when the words fell from your mouth did you realize how offensive you may have sounded. After all, Geto had mentioned that Toji was off the clock, and what was wrong with confiding in him? 

“Sorry!” you half-yelped and half-choked, grateful that no one else could see the tears streaming down your cheeks. “Sorry, Geto! I’m certain that you’re a wonderful therapist too and would be an amazing person to talk to, but—“   

“Send me your address. I’ll pick you up shortly.” 

And Geto was true to his word.  

Within fifteen minutes, a Porsche Cayman turned into your street, the vehicle’s yellow exterior gleaming from the street lamps before slowing to a stop not too far from your apartment building’s entryway.    

From the curb, you could peer inside from the windows, seeing Geto in the driver’s seat. He slicked his long hair back, the strands bunched up with an elastic with stray tufts resting behind his neck. He smoothed his top—a Hawaiian shirt with pink pineapple prints (just how many button-ups like these did he have?)—and rolled his window down completely.

Geto threw one arm out to greet you with a wave and then, with his chin, gestured toward the empty shotgun seat.  

“Get in.” 

Compliant, you wrapped around the bumper before getting inside. The interior was a creamy leather, leaving you to sink into the material that wrapped around your weight like warm water. 

The moment your seatbelt clicked into place, you were suddenly pulled toward the side in one swift motion as Geto tucked his fingers below your chin and lifted your head.  

His lips.

Upon turning towards him, the first thing on Suguru Geto that drew your attention was his lips. Plush. Smooth. Lightly parted as though they invited you to explore the mischief within. 

A dangerous expedition, that would be.

You realized you had never seen Geto up close before, mere centimeters from him such that his breaths fanned hotly across your cupid’s bow. He had a nice jawline too, not to mention defined cheekbones that blessed him with strong features rolling against his softer angles. When an unexpected glint caught you off-guard, your gaze shifted to the silver piercings that adorned each brow. Edgy. You liked how the metal accentuated his natural arches, shining when headlights from passing cars shone into the vehicle.  

When he blinked, you then turned to his eyes, and goodness—you met the most intense inky pools that could ever peer into your soul.

How long had he been looking at you like that? Why did he look at you like that? With those insanely dark depths that swam with so much curiosity that you almost wished you hadn’t looked at him to begin with.

Almost. Almost wished.   

Thankfully (or not), Geto averted his gaze first. He inspected you instead, gently wiping at a small black-tinted streak near your chin, his brows pinching as concern tugged his handsome features.  

“Been crying?” Geto prodded. Of course, he noticed the glassy film that shone on your pretty eyes, the puffiness that dabbed your warm cheeks. When you did not immediately reply, he brushed a warm thumb over your lower jaw. “Listen, cupcake. You may not know this about me but...” he paused, the usual glimmer in his sharp eyes darkening into a chilling stare. “...whoever did this to you, I will fuck them up.” 

At his offer, you forced a sad smile. 

“Nobody,” you lied. Geto had already had taken the time to comfort you with his presence at such a late hour, and he could not be burdened with the pitiful details involving your marriage. “Just some personal stress with—” 

“It was Naoya, wasn’t it?” 

Just hearing your husband’s name left you frozen, your heart suffocating in pain. “Was...it obvious?”  

As the man clicked his tongue, he brought his hand up again. He brushed a few strands away from your face, tucking them loosely behind your ear with lithe and tattooed fingers, your earrings swaying softly with the movement.  

“I see lonely eyes like yours more often than I’d like,” he explained, expression sullen.

While you had once registered Geto as outrageous and unscrupulous upon your first encounter, you were starting to realize that he was—in fact—incredibly empathetic. 

"You do?" you asked quietly.

At the question, he pushed his lips to one side and sat up straight, placing his hands on the steering wheel so that he could idly drum his fingertips on the surface.  

“Everywhere. I see those hopeless and confused gazes everywhere,” and his tone was melancholic as he started a list, “Clients in sex therapy because their partners can’t satisfy them, clients in sex therapy even if their partners  can  satisfy them. Don’t even get me started on some unfortunate patients I’ve seen from the hospital’s OBGYN department when I work there.”  

Given Geto’s carefree nature, you had forgotten that he had mentioned his work in the medical field before, and you let silence hang in the air while you quietly contemplated the emotions Geto must encounter as a practitioner across various disciplines. 

Noticing the resulting sigh from your lips, Geto relented. He really wasn’t the type to poke his nose into other people’s business, anyway. 

“Listen, you don’t have to say more if you don’t want to,” he offered, easing the silence by re-adjusting his rearview mirror. “I get that. I respect your privacy.” 

When the engine rumbled to a start again, you peered over your shoulder. “Then, where are we going?” 

After such a somber discussion not long ago, Geto’s lips twitched upward, appreciating how comical you could be. 

What a silly question, he must have thought.  

“To the one man who can understand your situation better than anybody.” With his left hand, Geto signaled right to pull away from the sidewalk, his indicators blinking against the road. "You were the one who wanted to see him, no?"

You twiddled with the wedding band on your finger, a habit you have yet to drop. "I thought Toji wasn't working now."

"He's not. Usually, I'd handle any late-night emergencies for him, but I'll take you to his place instead."

"Oh." That did not make you any less anxious. "So, he knows I'm coming over then?"

"Nope," the therapist answered curtly, and he popped the 'p' in his response. "But, you know, just for you," and Geto shot you one last wink, "he would do anything."

Toji was not the 'broke motherfucker' that Sukuna had once made him out to be. 

What broke motherfucker lived among Tokyo’s tallest residential skyscrapers?  

As the Porsche slowed upon arrival, you craned your neck to gaze at the colossal structure, which was no normal residential building for Japan’s middle or lower classes. Rather, this was an extravagant premise clearly tailored for—not even the nouveau riche—but for the descendants from old, old money.

While Geto pulled into the entrance's porte coch��re, y ou had to ask, "This is where Toji lives?" 

How his colleague was able to afford such a luxury in the Minato Ward, the most expensive neighborhood in not only the Japanese capital but also the entire country, was beyond your knowledge. You glanced over at the vehicle's infotainment system at the center, which—according to Google Maps—indicated in bold lettering that your destination was, in fact, to the left.  

You glanced up again, the high rise making you feel like an ant in Disneyland. "Sure you didn't take me to the wrong address?" 

Shifting the gear to park, Geto nodded assuredly. "A hundred and ten percent positive."  

"But then," you turned toward him in your seat, "Sukuna called Toji broke? Toji could not afford this if he was broke." 

At first, Geto lifted a brow in confusion. But as the words sank in, his fingers traced along the wheel as he chuckled. "Ah, that. Toji just isn't where he could possibly be." 

"Could possibly be?" you repeated. 

He hummed, looking ahead. "Longest story, honey.” He sat back in his seat, toying with his man bun in thought. "Shouldn't be a tale for me to tell anyway."  

Your mind might have buzzed with curiosity, but you conceded. Whether Toji wanted to reveal his private matters was not something for his colleague to decide. 

"Look," Geto pointed beyond the shotgun seat window, "the footman's here." 

Following the direction of his gaze, you glanced behind you to see someone approaching the car. With white-gloved hands, the attendant opened the door in one controlled swing, waiting patiently and wordlessly for you to disembark. Half-expectantly, you waited for Geto to get off as well, but he shook his head.

"I can't stay here," he informed and pointed to a nearby signage. "I can only drop you off because I can't leave my car here for too long. Besides, I've got plans." 

"You do?" That should not surprise you. Didn't Sukuna mention that Geto had something going on with, what was her name again, Shoko? Wasn't she, like, his girlfriend or—

“Work,” he replied, reminding you that he was the therapist on call tonight. He then turned to the footman beyond the door, ducking slightly so that he could catch the escort's gaze. “This young lady is here for the Fushiguro residence.”  

“Of course.” The footman offered a warm grin, stepping back to gesture you inside. “Right this way, Mrs. Fushiguro.” 

Mrs. Fushiguro?!  

The misplaced designation really shouldn’t have caused your heart to flutter as much as that did, but you could feel your entire body grow warm, hoping that no one could notice how you broke into a flustered sweat. 

“Ah, I’m not—”  

“Thank you for taking care of her,” Geto interrupted with an impish smile, his eyes crinkled into mischievous half-moons. Oh, he found this funny, didn’t he? He tipped his head to the side, and he waved. “Have a wonderful evening.”  

“Hey! I—” How dare Geto leave you like this? 

Yet, with the footman already heading back inside, you could not finish berating him, instead focused on scurrying after the steward’s long strides like a squirrel.  

Once at the entrance, the heavy glass doors parted automatically, and the lobby inside must be a whole other world. Fresh blooms nearby welcomed you with their sweet perfume as a staff member behind the concierge desk acknowledged your presence with a slight nod, a gesture you shyly returned. Meanwhile, the marble floors clicked to your footsteps as scones along the walls washed the vicinity with cozy hues, plush armchairs to the side offering a small sanctuary. Living amongst such splendor yourself, the sheer elegance in this space was not anything new, but what you were marveled by was the fact that the Toji Fushiguro lived here? In this very building?!

“The elevators are over there, madam,” the footman called when he must have noticed your stupor. 

You blinked rapidly, otherwise not noticing that you were headed in the wrong direction. “Oh.”  

He led you down one grandeur hall, scanning a card at various security checkpoints to allow you through. Upon reaching the elevator bank, he pressed a button at the dispatch screen, and the rightmost door opened with a number on a dashboard indicating that the lift was headed to the forty-ninth floor.  

Upon yourself stepping in, the doors slid to a close and offered one last view of the footman who had angled himself into a bow.

It was ridiculous how skittish you were as the elevator ascended, the Mozart tune from the overhead speakers doing little to calm your nerves. When the doors reopened a little less than a minute later, you were introduced to another warmly-lit corridor. The passageway itself had a design similar to the lobby floor except with one large abstract artwork centered across the elevators. 

At an incredibly slow pace, you neared the only door on the floor, the entrance’s deep dark mahogany surface looming over your much smaller presence. There was no turning back now, and you pushed the small glowing button at the side.   

There was no response. 

Of course, there wouldn’t be. You had only rung the bell ten seconds ago, but anticipation rushed to your fingertips. While holding your breath, you turned to your clicking heels.

You battled your body’s thrumming desire to flee and, just as the seconds seemed to stretch into hours, the door finally cracked open.  

Your gaze shot up.  

On the other side, Toji stood—silent and stunned. There were a million questions that you caught running across his murky emerald eyes, but a much-needed sense of relief embraced you as you met his familiar, comforting gaze, tears welling up at your lashes all over again.   

“Can...we talk?”

last chapter || next chapter

end notes: Unrelated, but I've recently started my full-time job! Balancing my personal and health priorities along with my work has been challenging, but I've made a point to still work on my fics as writing and interacting with my readers (you!) genuinely makes me happy. Sending love and hugs to you all.

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[lonelylittledot]

Wicked

~ a Wicked scholar's thoughts on the movie

Okay. I had detached myself from any feelings about the movie truly years ago, and so I walked into the movie theatre with really low expectations.

My overall opinion: it was not a bad adaptation. I'd expected to give it 3/10, it turned out as a solid 6.5/10.

Here are just a few things that stuck out to me:

The landscapes - didn't hate them but didn't like them.

The costumes - amazing. Pretty much every outfit slayed. I feel like they could have been even a bit more extravagant, but they were great as they were. - As for Elphaba, I think my favorite outfit was the first Shiz dress and the post-Popular outfit. - Glinda's bubble dress was exquisite, and I really liked her Emerald City ensemble, although I do miss the yellow dress, I feel like it doesn't get enough love

I liked Ariana's G(a)linda surprisingly a lot. Maybe it's because I know she's a huge Wicked fan, but I felt like her love for the source material really showed.

I wasn't really sold on Cynthia. Don't get me wrong, she has a truly fabulous voice, and she absolutely did shine in the big, loud parts - but overall, I wasn't a fan of her versions of the songs. She looked and acted great, though.

Michelle Yeoh, the woman you are. Fantastic casting, no notes.

Jonathan. Oh, dear, Johnathan Bailey. Looks? Hot. Vocals? Gorgeous. Vibes? Flawless. I wish he'd played the role a decade ago, because he does look forty and not college-age, but I think everything else about him truly makes up for it.

Speaking of - I liked that Fiyero got just a few tiny little additional scenes/lines, really helped to flesh out his character more.

Grammar-nazi Elphaba, my beloved.

Listen, I have shipped Fiyero and Elphaba since I was 14. And I'm not going to stop now. I stan them, I loved their chemistry in the movie, I will ship them until the day I die.

The direction on G(a)linda/Elphaba - hella gay. But I didn't quite feel their chemistry, neither friendly nor romantic. It was okay, but didn't blow me away.

IDINA AND KRISTEN???? love love love love my og queens

The movie dragged on. A lot. This is my only really big criticism, unfortunately it's a really important one. I think they could easily have made the whole musical into one 3h long movie, and it would have been much better for the pacing. - there weren't even that many added scenes; and a lot of the additions were pretty good, actually - some were totally unnecessary though. like the guards chasing Elphaba and Glinda and the whole balloon shenanigans? - similarly, many scenes were just unnecessarily stretched out; with the camera staying too long in one place or one moment being dragged out way too long - some of the songs just had slightly longer (like 2 bars?) breakes between the choruses added for no reason

Defying Gravity. This is the same thing as one of the previous comments, but I feel like it deserves its separate mention. The pacing in that scene (or, here, more like a collection of scenes) was extremely off, the song losing all of its momentum by being chopped up into pieces. And the way they made us wait for the iconic vocalization at the end; I honestly thought I'd die of boredom.

Sometimes I felt like the movie couldn't decide if it wanted to be more stage-y and theatrical, and lean into the whole campy vibe, or more cinematic and "naturally" acted; and sometimes it switched weirdly between the two.

There was one single thing that looked way better onscreen than onstage. The Lion cub. In the movie, he looked extremely cute, tiny little adorable darling baby kitten. Way better than the creepy-ass puppet they use in the show.

There were many more tasty little details that I simply couldn't remember/write down, or else I wouldn't have been able to pay any attention to the movie. Once it's available, maybe I'll rewatch and dissect it in more detail (I should also finally watch the 1939 Wizard of Oz, it's a CRIME that I still haven't! I'm sure people who know it well could also see many references in the new Wicked - even I noticed the ruby slippers in Popular, for example!).

Summing up this unnecessarily long rant:

It was not a bad adaptation; although I doubt it will make many people into Wicked fans. At the end of the day, it's clearly a story made for the stage, and even though it was transferred to the big screen fairly well, I think it still belongs in the regular theatre, not the movie one.

[immediatebreakfast]

It's proposal day! It's another Lucy day!

One thing that I noticed in between the suitors, and Lucy's non explained accepted proposal is how the tone in the paragraph where she talks about the sexist ideas of women being lesser than men seems to be... dejected, and I dare to say exhausted.

I suppose that we women are such cowards that we think a man will save us from fears, and we marry him.

The language that Lucy uses, the sudden inclusion of it when she is talking about the proposals, all of it feels like a rehearsed point that has been hammered into Lucy's head many times. It reads as she is is trying to interrupt her sadness over rejecting Quincey and Jack by reminding herself that her feeling don't matter in the situation.

This is not only simple misogynist ideals that Bram Stoker included in a female character, but also there is something deeper there that alludes to Lucy restricting herself because of her education as a lady.

Mr. Seward, and Mr. Morris are the ones suffering after the proposals, not her. She, the 19 years girl who is for the first time steping into the role of victorian woman, is the cause of their suffering, so Lucy as a woman cannot feel bad for herself because her own existance isn't noble nor worthy. Lucy must center her conflicting feelings, and her tears around the two gentleman she had to reject.

This is not an opinion for Lucy, it's a fact that her entire social, and cultural environment has been telling her since she was born. However there is this little detail that makes her comments a little bit worse for her mental space.

why are men so noble when we women are so little worthy of them? Here was I almost making fun of this great-hearted, true gentleman.

Remember that this is Lucy writing to Mina, and consequently Jonathan because she gave her permission to tell him; two people that she is implied to know since chilhood, and two lovers that definitely do not follow the picture that Lucy paints. In this letter Lucy is almost baring her soul enough to Mina, who despite most likely holding the same ideals doesn't experience the actual whole weight of them as a woman.

Even if it's very clear that she is utterly smittem with Arthur, does Lucy longs for the odd for the times dynamic of Mina and Jonathan? Does she feels that as much as she loves Arthur with all of heart, all of that stuff will still resonate in every step, and action she takes in their marriage?

Oh, why must a man like that be made unhappy when there are lots of girls about who would worship the very ground he trod on? I know I would if I were free—only I don't want to be free. ... I am very, very happy, and I don't know what I have done to deserve it.

Lucy is midly aware that her position is a cage, even if she chose the man she will marry she still views her own decision as the entrance of a cage. However, thanks to her upbringing, Lucy doesn't see this as an opportunity to try, and build a relationship with equal footing like Mina, instead Lucy tells herself that she, as a woman, doesn't deserve enough the happiness she feels.

And that is so tragic.

[suprababka]

"You're everything I could ever wish for"

Happy birthday to @zombiefox89 (@soulsheen)!🥳💝

I hope I didn't mess up with time zones and you receive my mini-surprise exactly on your birthday, not sooner nor later!

Dear Zombiefox, I highly hope you'll enjoy reading a small fanfiction I wrote for you (and for other Zombieman's stans too)💕

I know we got closer to each other only this summer, but I count you as my friend. Moreover, not just a friend, but my first online-friend from another country :D

I thank you with all my heart for every like and comment you leave under my post. Your support always means a lot, and I appreciate it!🤗

I wish you nothing but the best (as cheesy as it sounds), not to be overwhelmed by your work and to have more free time for your hobbies, to take nice fun walks with your dogs, to participate in exciting adventures with your friends in D&D world and, of course, to find and read new stories with your favourite man ;))))

Happy birthday!!!🙌🤗🫶✨💗🎉🎊

There are many things you love in your relationship with Zombieman (and about this man too). The way he looks, smiles, pays attention to every detail about you, supports you, surprises you with little gifts, gives you compliments... The way he loves and appreciates you.

He may come off as an emotionless person, but in reality, he cares a lot and is not ashamed of showing it. Though not anyone is "blessed" to see his affectionate side, only people who are close to him know how empathetic he is. For example, Child Emperor… and you. Especially you. The person who showed him he was able to love and, moreover, deserved to be loved.

That's something Zombieman will never take for granted. He cherishes every moment spent with you: watching a movie while cuddling on the sofa, running together under the rain, telling each other different stories before going to sleep, staring into your eyes and taking in all your beauty, cooking with you, or trying out different cafes. And today is no exception, as you're both sitting in the recently opened café.

"M-m, this looks amazing!" you exclaim vigorously, examining a large milkshake in front of you with whipped cream formed as a cat head.

Yes, you two decided to go to the cat-themed café. Usually Zombieman doesn't go to places like this since all he needs is a cup of coffee to go on with the life. But with you… something much more meaningful and energizing than coffee appears. It's your smile. The way the corners of your lips lift is a ticket straight to heaven for him. Really, he feels like nothing else matters. As long as you're happy, everything is fine. That's why the hero's main goal is to give you joy, to do anything in his power to make you laugh and beam.

While Zombieman is deep in his thoughts, you cheerfully tell him about your Friday and consume all of your drink in no time.

"Earth to my handsome boyfriend,"  you call out to him.

"Hm?"

"So you were not listening to me."

"Why? I was."

"Mm, sure. What was the last thing I said?"

"Well, 'What was the last thing I said', yeah?" he smirks, proud of his witty remark.

"Really funny and smart,"  you roll your eyes, making him chuckle and pat your head.

"I'm just messing with you, love. Though you're the one who does this in our relationship."

"Hehe, that's true. But I'm still waiting for your answer. Can't have my boyfriend slacking off now, can I?"

"Of course you can't. You were telling me about how hard your day was. I'm sorry everything went downhill, but what matters more is that you handled it. You did a great job, dear. I'm proud of you as always."

"Aw, thank you, honey! You're making me blush now."

"I wouldn't be a good boyfriend if I didn't flatter you, huh? But what I said was true."

"Of course it was,"  you kiss his cheek. "You know that I wouldn't want to be anywhere but with you right now."

"And that makes me happy. I feel the same way."

"Good, as you should do,"  you smirk. "Alright, let's get going, honey?"

"Yeah, let's head out."

It's already dark outside, and you two should probably go home, but you insist on taking a walk in the nearest park.

"There is a good spot to admire the sky,"  you reason, lifting up your finger and pointing to the appearing stars.

And of course Zombieman can't argue with you and accepts your offer, not that he minded it in the first place. Wrapping his arm around your shoulders, he begins walking with you. It doesn't take you long to reach the spot you were talking about. As both of you sit on the ground (the hero's arm is still wrapped around you to keep you warm), you notice that the sky is already full of different shining stars.

"Wow, so magnificent…" you comment; your voice sounds like you're hypnotized by the beauty of the view over you. That's quite understandable because Zombieman would act the same way as you do… if he wasn't already enamored by you, that is.

"Look! A falling star!" you suddenly exclaim, standing up and pointing at the sky. "Quick! Make a wish!"

Your boyfriend chuckles, amused by your enthusiasm, and stands up. He quickly glances at the star and returns his gaze back at you.

"You're everything I could ever wish for,"  the man says, patting your head. This makes you gasp and look at him with a flustered smile that Zombieman loves so much.

"B-baka! You can't just say things like that out of the blue!.."

"Oh, really? Didn't know there are specific circumstances to tell my girlfriend how I feel about her," as he finishes his words, you playfully jab his shoulder. "Ouch, what was that for?"

"For being a smartass. But just so you know�� I feel the same way about you."

"And that makes the luckiest man in the world,"  he smiles, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer against his chest. "So, then what did you wish for?"

You place a finger on his lips, smirking, "I can't tell you. Otherwise it won't happen, you know?"

"Right, of course. Guess we will have to see, huh?" he smirks, tilting his head and capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. Little did both of you know that you made the same wish: to be together forever.

[kunikame]

5 times he thought he was the sun, and the 1 he realized he wasn't. - deuce s.

warnings : mostly deuce centric, angst, fluff, middle school deuce, violence mention, ace trappola, astral imagery and references (ITS MY TRADEMARK TRUST ME OK), im not sorry w/c : 2,448

1. when his mom said so.

it is a universally known fact that deuce spade is a “mama’s boy”. he is anything but ashamed of this, on the contrary, he carries the title with pride. his mother was the one who raised him and took care of him all his life, the least he can do is be proud of that and strive to be the best he can, so her efforts don’t go to waste.

this, he comes to realize in his middle school years, after witnessing his mother crying over his wounds first hand. she had berated him many times for being a “punk” and “gangster” (her words, not his), but he’s never seen her cry, no matter how bad things were.

so he strove to do better.

fueled by the pure and unfiltered shame and guilt pooling at the pit of his stomach, he sat as his mother bandaged his wounds, her tears mixing with the salve and blood streaming down his knuckles. in his defense, the guy totally deserved the beating he got, but he no longer believes it was worth it– not if the end result was his dearly beloved mother shedding tears over him.

the salve stung more than it normally did on that day.

over the next couple weeks he made sure to cut ties with all his friends and avoided getting into unreasonable fights like the bubonic plague. it was a bit hard, he admits, since all middle school kids are assholes who sometimes deserve a nice punch in the face, but he had to hold himself back and be good– an honor student.

as yet another fightless school day ended, a distant memory he seemed to have long forgotten and classified as “not important” resurfaced. 

if he remembers correctly, he was about 8 at the time, just having learnt the concept of space and planets and the solar system in geography class. they had a ritual, his mother and him– as they walked home after classes ended hand in hand, tiny deuce would retell his entire day in great detail as his mother listened attentively and added her own comments sometimes. that's when he told her about the sun and how it was the center of everything.

suddenly sweet little deuce stopped in his tracks, an expression clearly showing he was deep in thought (and effectively overloading his brain, he will definitely need to take a nap later) etched on his face. he then looked up at her with sparkling eyes, and asked “does that mean im your sun, mama?”

the blue haired woman stunned for a mere moment, only to laugh so sweetly deuce berates himself for ever forgetting this dear, precious memory, “yes, darling. yes, you are.”

8 year old deuce thought he would never be happier.

he, however, failed to realize the sun tends to be red, perhaps orange.

never blue.

2. when people avoided him while staying in his orbit.

deuce has always considered himself a people magnet, for better or worse.

in middle school he was feared with friends few and far between, but despite being actively avoided by most of the student body, they still somehow, some way, gravitated towards him for one reason or another.

despite beating people up being his most common activity, deuce spade loved helping people. his mother raised him to always be mindful of others and help when he can, so he did just that– though sometimes in.. less academically acceptable means. 

he didn’t just fight for fun, don’t get him wrong. he preferred to bring justice where it was due– to bullies. if one of his classmates was being bullied in front of him, he couldn’t just sit back and watch when he had 2 perfectly functioning hands and the offender a perfectly punchable face.

that is how deuce found himself feared, yet adored, at the same time. pulling people in while unintentionally pushing them away. 

at night raven college he was no longer feared, or adored. there were guys much scarier, more powerful than him, why would anyone be scared of a first year without his unique spell? why would he be adored without having done anything to be deserving of adoration? if anything, he was constantly causing problems instead. this is not how his plan of being an honor student was supposed to go.

his kind and– contrary to high school– chill nature did seem to still pull people towards him, though. he had changed a lot since his “punk” days, he was much calmer and friendlier now, which seemed to make it easier for people to approach him. that’s how he found himself making many new friends for this journey.

much like the sun with the planets, it’s trusty companions, deuce also had his.

he had, yet again, failed to realize the sun was less good natured than him.

3. when he got his unique spell.

deuce was truly overjoyed the day it happened. what made it even better was that he was the first of his new friend group to manifest it!

well, technically– jack already had his before he came to nrc, so he doesn’t really count. for pride's sake.

better yet, it’s a super useful and powerful spell! he’s sure to make his mom proud with this one, he thinks to himself as he walks down one of the many dark hallways the school holds, smiling all the while.

now he’ll be more useful if there’s another overblot– now he can protect people with his magic! without having to use his fists (though it would be for a good cause, he reasons)! 

now he can protect his dear magicless friend from harm, without having to rely on others too much.

many overblots have happened since you came here, and deuce has always felt bad he couldn’t do much to protect you, despite being a person in need and his promise to his mother. he thought himself too weak, which wasn’t too far from the truth– that much was proved in the actual battles. but now he has something more to him, something useful, and he’s going to milk the absolute most out of it. he’s going to hone his abilities even more to protect you, and others, better.

because that’s who he strives to be– one who protects, rather than one who harms. one who illuminates the darkest of days, one who shines in peril, one who saves.

much like the sun bestows it’s rays upon the earth, helping it flourish and grow and continue spinning.

he fails to notice the recent heatwave warnings.

4. when he kept his peers warm through the cold nights and days.

as previously mentioned, deuce saw himself as a kind of protector– to his friends and strangers alike. he saw a person in need, he helped, there was no deeper meaning, no poetic underlying translation to his actions.

it was simply second nature.

much like his mother used to put her hands on the edges of counters when he was under them, he, too, instinctively reaches to cover the edge of his desk when you lean down to pick up something you dropped.

contrary to popular belief, deuce spade is severely aware of his surroundings. he always keeps his eyes out for anything that might eventually bring harm to one of his fellow students, his neighbors, his mother, himself. he believes in good deeds returning to you one day, so he does his best to do as many of them as possible– seven know he’s going to need all the luck he can dig up for his finals.

the skills he picked up from his mother especially come in handy at times like these. if there’s any trinkets or machines at ramshackle that you need fixed but crowley doesn’t care and you simply can’t, deuce is lined up at the entrance and fixing it without you ever asking him to. if you mention something not working his mind is immediately preoccupied with finding ways to fix it as soon as possible.

he would rather fail a class than have one of his dear friends hurt over something he could’ve easily prevented had he been there.

so he keeps his eyes peeled and ears alert, observing and listening for any and all opportunities to be useful.

it was around winter time when the heating system at ramshackle broke down and you and grim barely had anything to keep yourselves warm. instead of your bedroom, you found yourself sleeping in the living room, right by the fireplace. the holes in the walls and shabby windows did not do much to keep the cold out, and despite the raging fire right in front of you, you still shivered and huddled further into your several layers of clothes and blankets.

once deuce found out, the first thing he did was curse crowley for being so irresponsible and refusing to fix it for you due to “low funding” (completely ignoring the fact you do all kinds of jobs for him without ever being paid more than what covers your monthly living expenses). the second thing was rush to ramshackle with a toolbox, fully intent on fixing it himself. he’s done it once before, surely he can do it again.

you slept in your warm bedroom again that night.

later, deuce woke in the middle of the night, having a dry throat and no water on his bedside table.

he snuck into the heartslabyul kitchen undetected, and once he refilled his glass, successfully made his way back to his room.

compared to the rest of the dorm, however, he noticed the room was awfully and oddly cold. that’s when he noticed the open window, and ace shivering in his bed.

deuce heaved a shivery sigh and headed to close the window, but he found himself stopping just short of it, glancing at his roommate still shivering, completely uncovered by his blanket. despite hating his guts, ace was still a close friend of his, so with another sigh he walked up to his bed and covered him again, much like his mother used to do to him.

much like the sun keeps the planets warm throughout the year.

he seems to have forgotten mercury is nearing incineration, while uranus and neptune are mostly frozen.

5. when he was akin to the morning light, soft and gentle.

deuce prided himself in being an early bird, he naturally rose with the sun.

maybe it was due to being used to being woken up by his mothers alarms, maybe he just developed this skill over the years– he himself is not entirely sure.

ace always complained about how he could be so energetic and alert in the mornings, while the redhead was completely out of it.

deuce took joy from being able to watch the sunrise. watching the colors of the sky slowly change in the morning energized him plenty for the day to come– it reminded him that no matter what happens, the sun will rise again tomorrow.

this morning, however, he is seeing it in an entirely different light.

him, ace, sebek, jack, epel and ortho had all spent the night at ramshackle at a first year sleepover, organized by you. admittedly, it was the most fun he’s had in a while– and not just him, either, since even sebek seemed to be coming out of his shell.

after the others had long gone to sleep, you stayed up with deuce to chat deep into the night, since you had no classes the next morning. you could allow yourself a little leisure.

deuce spade has never heard his voice be as soft as it was then. he had whispered with people many times in his life, but not once had he sounded so gentle, so tender while talking to someone.

that is when he finally realized something that he completely let slip by him, something he pinned as absolutely normal.

he realized how gentle he’s always been with you.

ever since you came here, deuce has always treated you with care– like you were something fragile, something he might accidentally break if he held it wrong. his hands were used to causing pain, after all.

but no, not with you. never you.

which is why you compared him to the morning light– because in your view, he was just that. something tranquil, something comforting, something that feels like home.

deuce treated you with love, an indescribable fondness behind his every action– something he himself seemed to miss, yet everyone else noticed.

much like the morning lights gentle rays, deuce spade caressed your face.

+ 1. when the moon's glow felt all too familiar.

when deuce opened his eyes that morning, he could immediately tell it would not be a good day.

the morning light did nothing to his exhaustion, and he felt awfully cold, despite it being spring.

as he walked up to his class, he was greeted by a group of people surrounding ace, murmuring about one thing or another. once he approached, the circle parted to let him through to his seat, and he noticed ace was simply performing his card tricks.

“hey, dude, good morning! look at this trick i came up with–”

as he watched his roommates hands carefully, intent on finding out the secret behind the trick, he blinked only once and suddenly it all clicked into place.

why the sun did nothing to him, why he felt so cold.

the sun wasn’t his.

that was simply it, the sun was not his, deuce spade was never the sun– ace trappola was.

whenever a crowd of people surrounded deuce, ace was there. ace kept people cheerful and entertained throughout the days, deuce only kept them warm at night. 

ace trappola was bright, vivid, warm, eye-catching, red.

deuce spade was dim, cool, easy to miss, blue.

ace trappola was everything deuce was not, but everything he wished to be. 

and yet, one could not function without the other. deuce needed ace as much as ace needed him– they complimented each other perfectly, be as it may.

through the envy pooling in the pit of his stomach, he mustered up a smile and praised the redhead for his newest trick, applauded even. through the envy he watched as ace lit up, shining brighter than the sun in the window right next to his head, and he realized he could never compete over something he could never do.

he could never do what ace trappola does as effortlessly as breathing.

although quite similar in nature, the moon could never do what the sun does naturally. 

and, perhaps, the moon, too, had once wished to be the sun.

ੈ✩₊˚TAGLIST : @lunavixia @solxima @gabirii @erigaur @pomegranateboba //ask/comment or fill form to be added/removed! (if you're in bold i can't tag you)

[gotham-daydreams]

How are you?

Busy, unfortunately!! Started college not too long ago, and all that - won't bore anyone with the details, though!! Sorry if I worried anyone with all the silence - I didn't even realize how long it's been! Wow!

Few things!!

1. HOLY HELL WE'RE AT 3K FOLLOWERS???? ALREADY???

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO CATCH UP AND COME UP WITH SPECIALS BUT OH MY GOD... There are so many of you!! And you all come in so fast!! It actually breaks my heart a little only because I haven't shown my best yet (or definitely feel like I haven't), which will definitely change! You guys deserve so much better! Though I'm still unsure what to do for specials... so ideas would be nice! I'd like to also do some late ones- since you guys 100% deserve it, and they're still milestones!! Though for 3k, I'll do something in the spirit of Halloween!... or fall if I'm late again- 😅

Regardless! I'm so happy for all the support!! It really is something that so many people see my posts, no matter how old, and interact with them! It's overwhelming, honestly, but I deeply appreciate it! Even more so when I have a habit of going to get the milk for a while, before coming back with a few cookies - LOL!

2. I've been seeing that my work has inspired a lot of people to make their own stuff, and it's super endearing and heartwarming!!! Really, even if I don't really comment and only interact with the posts on my main account, I still see them! And I love them!!! I'm honestly really surprised how much the Not [ ] Series has inspired others or served as inspiration for their work. It baffles me but I'm also really glad I was able to do that for someone! It's still insane, especially since I really don't see the series as my best work by a long shot, but I do still really admire and appreciate how people still took inspiration from it :]

To which, yes! I do read all of the works people tag me in LOL! I may not say much! But I do see it!! You're all amazing writers and I can't wait to see what you all make in the future!!

3. I will definitely try to catch up on asks! There have been a lot of them - which I'm very happy to see! So now that I have some time, I'll start to tackle them! I have a break coming up, so if not now, then definitely then! So, soon!

4. YES. CHAPTER 4 IS IN THE WORKS!! I doubt it'll be longer than 3 - I learned a lot during that, and I plan to not repeat my mistakes and take what I've learned. Though we'll see how it goes in actual execution!! I already forget what I've said on that end, and thanks to time I have made a few adjustments to the original plan, though the ending remains the same! Very... eventful!!

5. I AM TRYING TO GET A NEW SERIES OUT!! Because damn it do you guys deserve some quality on this blog!!! I'm not the best writer, obviously, but again, the Not [ ] is a farcry from what I can really produce, and even if I view it as a taste of what's to come - still!! Been also thinking of making it one of the romantic stories I had planned (seeing as a lot of platonic stuff has come out, which is cute!), but we'll see! 'Waiting' Reader has been on my mind... I'll say that much! Though maybe don't hold your breath...?

Overall, a little tired as usual, but glad to be back, and really kick start writing again! 💛... I say, at 5:30 am, like every great author!

[outisgivingpac]

Pick a Card: Yes or No, and Why?

Hello there, I've revived from a long hiatus to offer you another pac reading ✨ This one shall answer an Yes/No question you have in mind, along with details as for why or why not.

If you enjoyed my PAC in anyways, please support me by likes/reblog this post and feel free to let me know in the comment ☺️ I also offer paid reading, so do check out my pinned post.

My PAC Masterlist

✨Chose the pile/pic you are most drawn to✨

Pile 1 Pile 2 Pile 3

Pile 4 Pile 5

Pile 1: 4oP Rx, AoW, PoP Rx

For those who chose this pile, the answer is No, or rather, Not Yet. Whatever you were asking about, your conscious mind desires it with great passion and ideas. But emotionally, physically or even financially, you're not ready to take it on. The thing or the person in question could lie beyond your comfort zone, and you haven't got the change to get to know them intimately. If it's a specific goal you want to achieve, you haven't seen through all the practical plans to get you to it. All in all, you might see yourself being frightened and overwhelmed if you were really to jump headfirst in this situation. On the other hands, the block on this matter could entirely lie on the surrounding circumstances that you have no control over. The advice here would be to not rush, focus on yourself and use this time for preparation.

Pile 2: The Lovers, AoW Rx, 10oC Rx

The answer for those who choose this pile is an indefinite No, as in, you could wrestle a Yes out of it if it's your will. With The Lovers card, I can tell the thing you had in mind is something that would put your heart and probably many thing matters to you on the line to decide. This could be a decision to leave, or to move away. A decision that would put physical or emotional distance between you and your loved ones. You might feel rushed and forced to make this particular decision, as if your hands are tied and you don't have other choices. But do you? I hear the call for this pile to ask themselves, if this is what you really want/need, if this really worth whatever you might sacrifice, or if you already have it. In this case, the answer lies on you and little on the outside circumstance, especially if you tend to fling between one extreme to another when it comes to a decision or solution.

Pile 3: The Emperor Rx, Temperance, PoP

For pile 3, your answer is a gentle Yes, especially if you're asking about something you desire, your goal and dream. The only thing standing between you and them is your fear for failure and rejection. It seems to me that this pile have many sad experiences in the past that lower their self-esteem. Someone or some situations had made you feel small and irrelevant, like you don't deserve to take space, and that it's selfish to want more for yourself in life. But that's not true, you have grown a great deal and continue to grow everyday. It's just that on a bad day you would find yourself falling back on old patterns. Please be patient with yourself at those difficults times. As for the matter you're asking for, yes, you're totally capable of achieving it. Be courageous and put your effort where it is due, and the world (or your spiritual guide) will meet you half way and make it happens!

Pile 4: The Hermit, 7oW, The Wheel of Fortune

For those who chose pile 4, the answer is Yes, but not as soon as you might want. The matter you asked about could be more related to your career, or to your need to establish a new connection/relationship. You're encouraged to put yourself out there, especially if you're the type who often fear of coming up too strong among new people/environment (they're really interested to know what you have to offer). Your way to what you're looking for won't be exactly smooth, but everything is in motion and heading towards the right direction. On the other hand, I sense that some of you will need to put up a clear boundaries, may it be between your work and your private life, or between you and certain people. If you haven't since the start, the confrontation wouldn't feel comfortable, but the lack of boundaries would bite you in the ass in the long run. Put different matters in different drawer of your mind, so when you're occupied by one, don't let the other plague your heart. If you're waiting for someone's reply, let it go for the moment instead of checking your mailbox every hour.

Pile 5: The Moon Rx, The Fool, AoS Rx

Pile 5, the answer for your question is a firm No. It seems the matter you asked about is something you want to happen, something you want to just go ahead and do so badly, without considering the practicality or consequence of it. There are a lot of hidden agencies, possibilities and essential factors that are still in the dark. It would be hasty if you make a move with what you know now and cast a decision you cannot take back. Some of you might be backed into a corner. For some others, the matter has been bogging your mind for so long that you just want to get done with it. Please don't give in to that instant relief. Instead, you're much advised to remove yourself from the overwhelming influences/circumstances, and take your time to make your informed action.

[napoleonic-sexyman-tournament]

Jumping on the pro-Castlereagh propaganda bandwagon from earlier (apologies for the long post but gotta help my boy out): 

There are far too many contemporaries talking about how good-looking he was. Even his detractors agree he was pretty but here are some of my fave quotes: 

Mrs. Arbuthnot: “He was above six feet high and had a remarkably fine commanding figure, very fine dark eyes, rather a high nose and a mouth whose smile was sweeter than it is possible to describe. It was impossible to look at him & see the benevolent and amiable expression of his countenance without a disposition to like him, and over his whole person was spread an air or dignity & nobleness such as I have never seen in any other person… He was excessively agreeable, a great favourite amongst women & used occasionally to excite Ly Londonderry’s jealousy; but he was the kindest and most affectionate of husbands”

Lady Bughersh: “You never saw such a beauty as Lord Castlereagh has become. He is as brown as a berry, with a fine bronzed colour, and wears a fur cap with gold, and is really quite charming. There never was anybody so looked up to as he is here.”

John Wilson Croker: “Londonderry goes on as usual, and to continue my similes, like Mont Blanc continues to gather all the sunshine upon his icy head…. It is a splendid summit of bright and polished frost which, like the travellers in Switzerland, we all admire.”

During a state visit to Ireland, the unpopular Castlereagh joked the crowds cheered for him solely due to his personal beauty

I kid you not but he was the hottest person at George IV’s coronation! How attractive must you be to accidentally outshine the monarch at their own goddamn coronation with many other sexymen present - if you don’t believe me: 

Mrs. Arbuthnot: “his dress was beautiful, his hat bound round with the most splendid diamonds & he looked handsomer than I ever saw him; the people echoed his name from one to the other the whole length of the platform & received him with repeated cheers. It was unanimously voted that he was the handsomest man in the procession” 

Walter Scott: “If you ask me to distinguish who bore him best, and appeared most to sustain the character we annex to the assistants in such a solemnity, I have no hesitation to name Lord Londonderry, who, in the magnificent robes of the Garter… and by his fine face and majestic person formed an adequate representative of the order of Edward III, the costume of which was worn by his Lordship deserving the baton, which was never grasped by so worthy a hand.”

Apparently multiple folks commented he looked so regal in his Garter robes that one might mistake him for the sovereign

Also as reference - this is what he looked like on the day of the coronation (can you believe this man was 52??)

Was also hella competent - he was known for his work ethic and attention to detail but he literally helped establish the idea of the European balance of power (aka the thing that prevented conflict on the scale of the Napoleonic Wars from occurring for the next 100 years) 

Just some fun anecdotes: 

According to the Austrian police reports, while in Vienna he and his wife went to every shop, asked to be shown every item in the shop… and bought absolutely nothing

He fought a duel in 1809 because George Canning tried to kick him out of Cabinet and half of their colleagues (incl. Castlereagh’s own uncle) kept Canning’s insistent demands/threats a secret from Castlereagh for ~6 months. His opponent never had shot a pistol prior to this (his second had to help load the gun as he didn’t trust the guy to do it correctly) while Castlereagh was known as a good shot. Add in the fact that 3 Wellesleys were tangentially involved - this entire event was bonkers

After an author read aloud some of her novel to him, he was so impressed that he arranged a meeting with the publisher in his own study. The author recalls how Castlereagh was standing there while she signed the new agreement with the publisher 

He had a strange hobby - Castlereagh said he has "not thought of anything of late but of sheep farming” and his wife joked that he “shall soon bleat and be covered with wool.’’ He even won an award for his wool!

Despite being in a non-dangerous occupation, he was quite badass: 

At age 17, Castlereagh saved a classmate from drowning by keeping him afloat in a cold lake for more than an hour after their boat capsized

During a stormy voyage to Dublin, he jumped on the chains that supported the mast to rescue a man who fell overboard - especially daring when out of the 5 ships sailing out of the departing port, 3 sank (all onboard died) bc of the storm

3 men tried to rob him - I say tried bc he just shot one of them in the neck with a pistol, was able to subdue the second with the help of a bystander, and the last guy simply fled

He was just a nice person? Castlereagh contributed to various charities and there’s a story that the day following his death, one of his servants was asked if they observed any change in him. The response? “One day he spoke sharply to me!”

Even one of his greatest political rivals admitted if you “put all their other men together in one scale, and poor Castlereagh in the other—single, he plainly weighed them down... Also, he was a gentleman, and the only one amongst them.” 

Ngl, surprised that you didn’t use this lovely portrait of him: 

But also this bust and coin tho: 

Bonus: Good looks seem to run in the family (go check out the portrait of his brother Charles by Thomas Lawerence)

.

[sybaritick]

cal sybaritick's

bloodweave fic recs 🧙🏼🧛🏻

I'm pretty sure that over the past few weeks I've read nearly every single Astarion/Gale fanfic on Ao3, and I have great taste, so I am uniquely qualified to recommend them to you. Here is a non-exhaustive list of my favorites!

Overhear More in Changing by ZiGraves

E / 9.6k words / body swap, blood drinking, handjobs / complete

Astarion has the misfortune to wake up inhabiting a body not his own. It’s alive, breathing, warm. Hairy. Oh gods, no. It’s Gale’s.

not only is the power-issues-tinged porn here extremely hot to me, but this is also the best and most interesting depiction of body swapping that i have ever read, with so much great detail on how it would actually feel to experience

Left to your devices by Experimental

E / 4.2k words / teasing, dubious consent, developing relationship / complete

While camped at the Grymforge, Astarion does a murder, and thinks a gift will magically make it all better. Trouble is, he may be right.

a snapshot-style fic of a clever interaction between the two of them, and I enjoyed how it handles the comparison between Astarion's vampirism and Gale's condition that so many have noted

A Cave Edge, A Black Bowl by an orphaned account

E / 2.2k / extremely dubious consent, sensory deprivation, humiliation/degradation / complete

Gale has this bad habit of shutting himself off after a particularly long day and Astarion hates it. All high and mighty he will saunter off towards his tent and engulf it in Darkness, draping it in Zone of Silence. It infuriates Astarion to no end, and so he sets out to let the wizard reap his due reward. Getting into his tent would be effortless. (The first thing he hears are soft, almost whining pants, followed by a high pitched moan.)

this just pushes all of my buttons SO well. gale as a consummate submissive using magic to be his own dom, so to speak... and his insulting astarion for interrupting this little display, "you're wretched," hating it so and yet still clearly getting off to it... delicious!

That Wounded Animal by wxntr

M / 6.4k / character study, manipulation, angst with a happy ending / technically incomplete, but can easily be read as finished

His foolishness is what made him deserve it. That’s the reason Astarion latched onto when the familiar sickness rose in his throat as he spun his pretty web. When guilt or shame creeped in at Gale’s wide, adoring eyes and smile, Astarion reminded himself that if he wasn't the one to take advantage, someone worse would. He was doing Gale a favor, even. The weak would be taken advantage of, and Astarion refused to be the weak. A progression of scenes following Astarion's manipulation of Gale, and the complicated feelings that accompany it.

a rec like this means a lot coming from me because normally I struggle with sad and soft pieces in fics, but this is extremely well done. I'll just quote what I said in my comment on the fic: "the way you write this so that Gale's very weakness is what makes Astarion weak to him! the fact that Gale has the capacity to believe in Astarion's potential goodness despite everything, hell, to believe in anyone's potential goodness, that Gale continues with earnestness regardless-- that is what breaks Astarion's resolve. The fact that anyone can possibly live like that (like Gale does, wearing his heart on his sleeve)-- it's agonizing to someone like Astarion who has seen it proven time and time again that a relationship can only ever be transactional, that there must be the user and the used. That of course Astarion has seen sincerity and naivety before and has brushed it aside easily, but it's the time spent with Gale, the slowly getting to know him, so much longer than he would have for the victims he was forced to bring back to Cazador-- that's what gradually gets to him. And so gradual too, the way you write it."

Unraveling [series] by chogiwonderful_you

E / 17.3k words / undernegotiated kink, cnc, mental health issues & neurodivergence, discussions of past sexual assault, very unhealthy relationships / technically incomplete, but can easily be read as finished

The book reads you as much as you read it. Gale really should have remembered that.

this recommendation comes with the caveat that, as it was written during early access, the author's interpretations of the characters don't truly line up with how I see them now. However, there was no doubt in my mind I was still going to recommend it just for what it is-- the fandom aspect be damned. Everything, down to Gale's guilt about his behavior to him being like "in some sense the mental aspect of this is more erotic to me than the sex to the point where i almost feel separate from my physical body" is so Very Real in a way I feel fanfiction often isn't. Also, the depiction of what I would describe as Gale's hypomania, and later panic attack, is extremely well done.

En Prise by positivejam

E / 20.5k words / manipulation, D/s, petplay (vibes), humiliation/degradation / incomplete

It’s not often Astarion sees his own hunger reflected in another’s eyes. So yearning for a look in the mirror, he can't help but stare. Gale is downright ravenous. He can smell it on him: like some combination of lust, adrenaline, and desperation. Exactly for what, he isn’t sure. But desperate men make for good companions and better bedfellows, so he sinks down next to the wizard with a smile. “Like recognizes like, little mage. You are starving, and I am feeling uncharacteristically charitable. Perhaps we can help each other out.”

if you know this pairing, you know this fic, but I could not possibly leave it out. It is very well written! It is super hot! It's dripping with nasty D/s vibes! Read it!

first date by revoleotion

M / 1.7k words / sincerity, discussions of past sexual assault, angst with a happy ending / complete

It's not Gale's first time. Part of him wishes it were. It's not Astarion's first time. Perhaps that can be a good thing. Astarion and Gale share a drink together. A drink, and a little more.

like I mentioned above, I am usually not the audience for this genre/style of fic, but this author handles the way they discuss their trauma very well-- that they are still a little guarded and awkward, not perfect communicators, not perfect partners.

[moodymisty]

Ok forgive me if this isn't super articulate, I just got off of a long shift.

You're a wonderful writer first and foremost, the way you choose words and weave them together makes for incredibly vivid and lush scenes that are a delight to read. Many of your fics I've read over and over again, finding more little quirks and details that I adore each time I revisit a fic. I feel that you have a really good grasp on picking out personality details that breathe life into what you write about.

Your writing is also the reason I got into 40k in the first place funnily enough! I found your blog through a totally different tag, stumbled across one of your sanguinius stories and immediately had to go hunt down more info on that sweetly troubled vampire angel. It's spiralled a lot from there and I've been having a great time reading the lore books and seeing people's analysis of them. So genuinely, thank you so much for sharing your art with us, I imagine a lot of other people had their curiosity piqued by your work too. You're one of the pillars of this little community of fans who really like to delve into the character writing aspect of 40k and fully embrace the melodramatic space opera parts that I also love.

On a final note, sorry for saying all of this on anon instead of in dms or something. I've had some rough experiences in fandom before and get really shy about talking to new people. I always end up ducking out when i go to heap compliments on my fave artists and authors because I don't want to bother them or like assume familiarity, if that makes any sense? Regardless I wanted to say something in whatever capacity I could to try and reassure you that people love you, love your art, appreciate your thoughts and ideas, and want to see you be happy both in your hobby and in your offline life.

I hope you feel better. I hope people are being kind to you, because you deserve nothing less. I hope you continue being able to enjoy talking to folks online and writing. Thank you for being with us and thank you for being you. 🖤

Thank you, I'm very honored you like my stuff enough to go back and reread them, and enjoy the way i make them.

And there's nothing bad about being on anon, the level of interactiveness you want to participate in is up to you. I keep anons on for a reason. And I'm sorry you've had bad experiences, i've had my fair share as well and i still honestly feel weird commenting on things outside of this circle. I could go on about how fandom is now but i won't.

I'm still of course staying i have zero desire to leave unless something horrible happens XD I've just had a bit of a shitter of a month when it comes to things so i wanted to dial it back a bit.

[foreverformula1]

How are people thinking that Verstappen doesn’t care?

I have a lifelong personal feud with the societal belief of how not crying or smiling hear to hear 24/7 with showing teeth means that someone isn’t happy enough.

But he doesn’t even have a resting face. I would understand other peoples’ point of view (while disagreeing) but I truly can’t right now.

He looks always happy and content. Even last race (when this discussion came up). Do we see the same person?

He also is one of the most educated drivers in the sport. He knows the countries, drivers and tracks better than most drivers who have been in it for at least 5 years before him.

He always celebrates with the team, smiles to the press too. I think that those who think that he doesn’t care are projecting. He looks like any other driver especially after getting used to winning. But he always looks grateful.

If anything, I have noticed that at least what his public image suggests, he doesn’t have many other interests aside F1 and motorsport.

Even Sainz, who got pole and arrived 3º in the race (his firsts of this season & at Monza!) somehow looked abnormally unfazed and the Sky Sport Italia noticed it and commented that he probably was tired. I could understand a curious reaction to him, but Verstappen? He’s good, what’s there to get confused at?

Is it because he doesn’t cry? Because he doesn’t act like his career depends on every detail even after being established?

With all due respect, he’s a grown man who has been winning since he was 17/18 years old and he still reacts positively and excitingly sometimes even. All the other drivers also don’t cry after every win. Especially after receiving the pole tire/prize , after the first or second time they look just normal with a smile.

And please, since multiple people have been naming how even Kimi reacts more than Verstappen; get over it, you know very well that he doesn’t. Just because he cried a couple of times, it doesn’t make him more grateful than Verstappen. Listen to the differences in the way they talk and what they say. I am going to leave it here, Kimi defenders know but pretend not to so I won’t rant about it. I am sure Kimi loves F1 and is somewhat grateful for it. But his attitude is not great and I am not referring to his nonchalance.

And let’s not make it a privilege issue as if Verstappen’s family was swimming in money just because his father was in F1 and had connections. They were surely at least upper or middle class but he had the sponsors (also thanks to his parents’ connections) and probably a freaking ton of them since he was winning literally everything (look it up, it’s seems unreal). He had the privilege that many drivers didn’t but he freaking deserved everything. He skipped F2 and won races in F1 a year later. That’s hard work being rewarded with opportunities. Sacrifices are still sacrifices. His entire life is around racing. His knowledge in racing is higher than other drivers too.

Sorry for the long rant, this discussion truly rubs me off. It’s based on a fantasy/imagination and it makes me angry that people over the age of 14 years old still think that you must portray emotions a certain way for them to be real and valid, especially because he is showing them. The “problem” is that he doesn’t cry each time. Plus, it takes for granted that he doesn’t have a personal life that affects him once in a while. Not only that, but he’s literally like every other driver, unless they are midfield or lower and struggling.

Edit: I suspected something when that one user wrote that he doesn’t care unlike Vettel as the latter won Girll the Grid and Verstappen arrived 2th, as if there aren’t 18 other driver behind him which would suggest that they literally care even less but doesn’t criticize them. But I was sure it was pretentious and not just a differing opinion when it ended with how he doesn’t care because he is a homebody who likes his cats and doesn’t party and drink alcohol (something not advised to indulge into too much for athletes). The eugenic belief that introverts are mentally insane or evil has bothered me for my entire life; I almost didn’t get the last phrase because it was very not relevant and completely out of pocket.