#but shocker i didnt want to have to pay more money than I would have had my cut healed properly

[radmista]

I need white people to shut the fuck forever about how scars form and heal, and how they "aren't that bad looking" when talking to dark skinned people

Yeah a white scar doesn't look that bad or obvious on your white ass skin, but when I'm multiple shades darker than you a bold white scar IS PRETTY FUCKING OBVIOUS

[pupine]

26 days until you celebrate your birthday which i know will be different now that im not there. youll feel the suffocating pressure of turning 17 knowing in just anoter year your childhood as you know it will end.

i hope that wretched old cat of yours finally croaks and you’ll be left with a part of you missing. you can cuddle your dog and give your other cat all the attention she’ll allow but that wont make it hurt any less.

shes off in collage and you’ll be left to hang out with a hoard of people i know you don’t like, i wont be there to make you feel like somebody actually likes you. you’ll be alone, for the whole year, a whole year of anxiety knowing that your time is running out.

ill be fixing myself, in therapy and getting the mental help i need while you’ll struggle with your self worth and identity. you’ll run from every relationship once you learn other people have bad times as well, that you cant constantly ask for more and more and more from a person that is already stepping out of their comfort zone because they love you.

that not everybody can buy you materialistic things because shocker! some people are poor. some people didnt live the life you did, staying in one home your ENTIRE life. always being financially stable, never having to do chores for the neighbours as a preteen just so you could hopefully help your single mother pay the bills and not go homeless. having two parents that love eachother and stayed together your entire life, having an actual healthy relationship with your sibling, and so many other fucking things you don’t understand you should be grateful for. things that you don’t understand other people NEVER got.

you always wanted fucking more. more more more. i spent time with you because i liked hearing your voice, i loved the conversations we had and just spending good quality time with you, THAT was my love language. i always felt like i had some fucking dept with you, that because you bought me something as a gift that i HAD to pay you back. which i told you repeatedly, i couldn’t just do that. but you never NEVER fucking understood it. and yknow what?? when i actually got a good amount of money that was MY money, i DID buy you things!!!! that $120 gift i got you EVERY year as tradition? I get $150 MAX at christmas through cards. was it not enough i spent far more than half of that on you? that instead of spending all of it on me i wanted to give you something big (to me) as a gift??

you left me because i was mentally ill?? because you had no hope i would get better??? fucking rancid the things you told me, you put me down and abandoned me when i you the most. i hope you ROT. i hope the pressure of the future fucking tears you apart. i hope the guilt makes you sick. i hope she dumps your ass and goes to another when she gets bored of you just like she did with every one of her previous boyfriends. she in collage now n you not your ass is getting cheated on 😭😭

[ask-neith]

4, 10, and 29 from the Marvel OC ask list?

4- What type of powers and/or skills do you have? How did you get them?

Well firstly there is stuff I learned the normal way(as opposed to being Senseied). Beyond things so normal and obvious I take it for granted and am blind to, I am a a mean cooker, three-and-half lingual, swim especially well(even though I feel I am less buoyant than normal), have more than decent shooting accuracy, and can juggle for a couple minutes without dropping stuff.

Then there are powers I got through a spider. I am stronger and more durable(ish), more agile and have better reflexes, I can somehow stick to surfaces(which includes glass so ???), and I, mmm, feel danger or potential danger(but no reasons for it) like some additional color of the world(except all-round). I think that covers it all, for now? Oh right, I can shoot webs, although it better goes through a technical device we made.

10- Describe what your world looks like. Is it colorful? Black and white?

Oh it is so colorful it sometimes hurts. Colored hair and violate-my-eyes(good) clothes are so much more common that a decade ago, as are flowery lawns and colored houses. Umm, I am not sure what else to describe? Unless you want me to go all "the grass is green, the sky is white with streaks of yellow and pink during the dawn, ..." and so on.

29- Name a few of your current villains– who’s making up your rogues gallery?

I will name them all(even those I didnt meet yet but confirmed to be local), but will limit myself to shorter descriptions, if I may.

Raiju is a lightning guy that can shoot lightnings, teleport through them and discorporate into them(which seems to get him out of my webs? Not fair). He might be my best(or worst) villain because I simply have no idea how to approach him so far, even if he sticks to non-lethal zaps that nonetheless leave me a twitching mess.

Shocker is a thief that can uhh resonate stuff apart with his gauntlets. And do powered punches/jumps(so I suspect kicks also). That one might just be my easiest one, unless he has some more cards up his sleeve.

Vulture is an energy vampire that can fly(and has apparently decorative wings which he only seems to flap to show he can) and supercharge himself. I am going to be fair, I dont think I`ll encounter him any time soon, he is a sneaky and fast one, and even this info comes from purely accidental meets.

Sepia, a consummate shapeshifter that is also incredibly fast moving human-eater. Looks like sort-of human except with tentacles and stripe colored(sometimes polka dot colored).

Tombstone is a leader of elusive but everpresent organised crime, who is whole lot stronger and more sturdy, and can at will turn his current body to stone(which quickly decays into dust, so no collectible statues or using them to track him) while "respawning" somewhere around but not too close.

Tinkerer supplies advanced tech to criminals, both solo luck-seekers and Tombstones mooks. Traps and baits dont work, hecker uses long-range portals. Still, he is only in it for money, so there should be a sensible approach to him.

Green Goblin. Again(?) I dont know what his deal is, but he is body-boosted, can induce enormous fear, anomalously jump and glide(gravity suppression?), and conjure explosive projectiles.

Mysterio seems to be a hypnotist and can make tangible(if still frail) illusions that fall apart into mist that was estimated as "dangerous", no further explanation. Mostly acts through proxies, but did show up personally occasionally, no rhythm to that.

Punisher is a normal(question mark?) but incredibly trained person that would find their place in Aretes if not for their bloody vendetta against - apparently - whoever they deem werent punished by law enough? Its a problem to be a shady, big-fine-paying entity without them coming after you. No powers demonstrated, but arsenal shown hints at influential backer. Might actually be several people, even another organisation.

Lastly, Ill Will who seems to be in it for pure giggles and sense of superiority. A mage with specialisation in curses so vicious affected have to call around-top-tier counter-mages(which arent that available, as you can guess). Still, quick to exhaust, so provided with too many targets she tends to go for escape route. I think there was a talk of providing heroes with counter-amulets, but even now thats a work of long time.

Plus "bad" Dragonhearts, plus discovered Hydra mooks, plus remains of Osenseis organisation. We arent overwhelmed, no, but... Still not a cakewalk, even with all the support.

[inixsis]

5 years later

Coming back and reading the few posts I had was a bit of a shocker, for many reasons. But im in a position where I really need to express myself again because I dont really have anyone else or any other way. So let the shitshow begin! I dont really know where to begin. I feel like ive grown a lot in some aspects, stayed the same in so many others. Ive definitely stayed the same when it comes to complaining unfortunately... Im well aware i do it, but its like word votmit. I dont string together what im trying to convey in the right way most of the time. Sometimes I swear people have this expectation of me that they put the words in my mouth before i can even finish a sentence. Like please, just let me finish.   Anyway. Point blank, ive been an Alcoholic for about 5-7 years now. I dont really remember when it trulyyyy kicked in that i had such a dependency. But its only within the past year that if i dont get my fix, I go into a withdrawal state of shakes, tremors and sweats. i went to hospital about a year ago, so I didnt have a drink for around 12 hours. I was barely able to move. I was shaking so badly I could barely move my muscles or complete basic motor functions. Some mornings after only a few hours without alcohol i can barely type on my keyboard or use my mouse correctly.  But with all of this, im still proud at other ways ive progressed. Ive quit marijuana. Ive mostly quit smoking. Ive only had green once in the past 2 years. I didnt have a single cigarette for almost 8 months up until recently and i only buy a pack once in a while. Along with that, I feel like my attitude and the way i address certain things has drastically changed also. Im not nearly as aggressive, paranoid or annoying as I used to be. But its never enough... Essentially im here to cry about how alcoholism has somewhat impacted my relationship, but how it also isnt the main reason its over. Its hard to explain right now heh. All i truely want to do is blame him and my perspectives of why he has started to act like this. Nothing is good enough lately. I can shower him with love, affection, appreiciation and all the space he needs but its not enough. I really dont feel my alcoholism can be the complete blame of our relationship - but definitely some things are to do with it.  1. He knew what he was getting into.  And on that note, over 5 years ive done nothing but get better. Especially the past 2 years ive made huge changes whilst he has not. Alcoholism cant be compared to the mistakes he makes, but as a 29 year old he has never left his home, he doesnt pay rent or bills, he has a cushy life where his mother stole 1.2 million and is now in prison for it. But he thinks I would steal money from his account given the chance... 2. I paid for everything for the first 3 years He stayed in my homes non stop, i paid electricity for his pc or to run the aircon, i paid for and cooked 3 meals a day everyday for atleast a few days of every week. I cleaned up after him everytime. in 5 years he has cooked for me once, and by force. He has done dishes for me and bought me takeaway, dont get me wrong. but nothing compared to what ive spent. let alone the green and alcohol he would also consume. But granted he paid alot of fuel whilst i rarely topped him up.  3. Extreme patience with his privacy Theres a certain factor im not going to speak about in this. But ive always been quite upfront with him, never protected my phone or computer around him either. I understood a person needs their space and if he is not willing then thats ok - but only to a point. at 5 years we should be able to share phones. Once i wasnt allowed to hold it to use his flashlight during a power out. thats insane. I went to reddit over this and there were suggestions such as ‘are you clumsy?’ and well... no. he has swerved his car once when i went for his phone to search a location.  4. Games come first Its been a rocky 2 years. Ive asked him to spend more time with me regularly, threatened if he did not take 1 less night a week from raiding im done - and i left. But then his mothers case of theft came in and he was distraight, said he needed me. I couldnt help but give in, so gave him another chance for the sake of moral support. I also very recently came across a chat with some chick online. ‘I guess i havent found my gamer girl yet’ he said.  - i am younger, but have been gaming much longer than him and on different platforms - I am the one he had to compete with in WoW - I am the one who taught him many things and showed him all these things about the game - I take a couple years off of certain games because of my anger and suddenly i am no longer a gamer, let alone his girl. Made me sick to the stomach.  All ive done is change myself to look towards our future and this is all the shit I get. So heres to the men in my history that may read this - karma came the FUCK back around and truly i hope youre doing well.  I think im going to keep on posting again, I need some form of comfort. id like to ultimately turn this into a blog about alcoholism, sobriety and all the things that come with this. I need something to focus on for a bit haha. Best wishes all <3 

[asicmind]

All The World’s a KISS Stage (well, it should be...)

Im not alone in thinking that the greatest picture ever taken in rock and roll history is the picture that is the gatefold of the 1977 double album KISS “Alive 2″. This picture totally defines what it would be like to see KISS in concert. I have been to thousands of concerts and none will ever surpass my first KISS concert two years after this iconic photo was taken. I have a numbered and signed print of this photo (by the photographer), waiting for the right frame to put it in.

now, Im very aware that this photo is staged. it did NOT happen during a show, but I can tell you that ALL OF THAT PHOTO HAPPENED IN THEIR CONCERTS!! It happened when they started in 74, and if you go to a KISS concert today, this photo will come to life. Excitiement like this photo is what I look for in concerts I see today. Some bands do know how to put on a stage show...Rush, Pink Floyd, Flaming Lips . In fact, 5 months after my first KISS live experience, I saw Parliment/Funkadelic who learned from KISS on how to make a concert stage work with great music.

So, it got me thinking...what if KISS and their stage show were a part of every other artists’ concert. The WORST concert I have ever attended was Crosby, Stills and Nash. You know why?? here...

look at that!! How boring is THAT! Seriously, I know they are icons and all that but..what propells people to shell out a ton of money just to see 3 guys under three spotlights strumming on a guitar? Now, if they even had just one member of KISS on that stage, or a tiny explosion..WOW!! That would take it up another notch. So ASICMIND is proud to present to you some unearthed nuggets of music history...artists that have influenced KISS, or were influenced by KISS at some point in their career.

We all know James Brown was the godfather of soul, but did you know that he was also the godfather of Gene Simmons? Thats right. And on several occasions, back in the early years of KISS, you would see James Brown front and center at a KISS concert. And Gene would always give him his propers ( thats what is was called back then..propers...look it up). Gene would say, “I’d like to dedicate this one to the godfather of my soul, James Brown...this is Black Diamond”. It was at these shows that Gene got the idea for crazy dance moves for KISS.

Both Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley will tell you that when they started KISS, they wanted to be The Beatles. They wated to be BIGGER than The Beatles. Both bands were a quartet, made up of a bassist and a guitarist that seemed to be the leaders, and a second guitarist and a drummer who contributed their fair share (although Gene will argue that all the way to court about Peter and Ace). KISS had to make themselves different from The Beatles. The makeup, the outrageous costumes, the fire breathing, bloodspitting, and 2 hour pyrotechnic extravaganza of a show didnt set them apart enough from The Beatles. What did they do? They tried out a fifth member to join KISS that just so happened to be a big influence on The Beatles. Needless to say, Ravi Shankar didnt cut it because he just sat there.

In 1968, Tiny Tim peaked with his rendition of “Tip Toe Thru The Tulips”, his number one hit that only charted at number seventeen. It was his staple. He was only known for that song and playing the ukulele. He wasnt even tiny! He was over 6 feet tall! After years of touring for that one song, he finally decided to change it up a bit in 76 by hiring KISS and the whole stage show to back him on his “1776-1976 Ukulele States Of America” World Tour. He died of a heart attack 20 years later.

Everyone thinks that it was comic Sam Kinison that merged comedy and hard rock. There had always been comedians that blended music into their act. Henny Youngman, Jack Benny, The Smothers Brothers..all acts that incorprated wholesome music with their comedy to give their joke an added punchline, if the music itself wasnt the joke. Richard Pryor, on the other hand, had another idea. His “That Ni**ers Crazy” tour featured a hard rock backing band consisting of four guys in whiteface wearing S&M clothing...who were they? You guessed it...

 1979 brought change for KISS. They had just released the album “Dynasty” which saw KISS “progress” with the music industry by recording a disco song, “I Was Made For Lovin You”. While it did suprisingly well on the charts, it didnt fair well with most of their fans, and The KISS Army was dwindling down to cub scout status. They tried a number of things... Im not sure why they agreed to back Frank Sinatra on a tour, but they were fired after the second performance when Gene got blood on Sinatras tuxedo.

Nobody tours like Loretta Lynn. She has one tour bus just for herself, a second tour bus for her dresses and three pick-up trucks for her band. One tour, Loretta Lynn was traveling from a show in Fargo, North Dakota to the next evenings show in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Her bus and the bus full of her dresses arrive the next afternoon at the venue but the pick up trucks werent there. She figured they had stopped to eat (as it was a Wednesday, the day Loretta lets you eat), but as showtime was approaching a few hours later, the band still hadnt arrived. Well, as her opening act started to play, about twelve 18 wheelers pull up. It was the crew of KISS and they were playing the next night. She politely asked the crew if any of them could play country. None of them could, but they said Paul and Gene always blasted her music on the tour bus and they were coming to see the show. Maybe KISS could be your backup band. Sure enough, when the 5 stretch limos arrived to bring the four members of KISS to the show, they heard the news and agreed to not only perform, but let her use their stage. It was a magical night. The photo shows the exact moment she realized what happened to the band. “Oh my God, they ran out of gas because I forgot to give them their per diem!”.

“Cant Touch Kiss” was the working title for MC Hammer, as he was a huge KISS fan back in the day. One night, Hammer was watching a KISS show from side stage. They started playing “I Was Made For Lovin You”, and Hammer couldnt help himself. He came flying out on the stage, parachute pants and all, and started dancing. After the show, Gene pulled him aside and said “If you ever pull a stunt like that again, or try and use our name in a song, Ill sue your ass so fast, you’ll be broke before you reach triple platinum”...and, now you know what happened to MC Hammer.

Believe it or not, for all of their evil “devil music” and demonic stage shows, their biggest hit was a ballad by drummer Peter Criss, “Beth”, a song with vocals, piano, and a string section. When “Beth” was performed, Peter would come out and sit on a stool and throw roses out to the ladies in the crowd while he sang against a backing music track. One night the band wanted to mix it up a bit. They re-arranged “Beth” to be done by the four members, and Gene called his old buddy from Hebrew School, Barbara Streisand, to come sit in on the one song. She agreed, but only if she could make some changes. That night, and only that night, the song “Beth” became known as “Babs”.

If you have ever seen or heard an interview with Gene Simmons, he is all about the swagger..he is all about being cool. He is cool  when flying 50 feet in the air and blood flowing from his mouth. He thinks he invented cool, so much so that he tried to trademark the word “cool”. He was denied because another artist, Miles Davis, already had it. Gene invited Miles to a KISS show. Miles arrived with his trumpet and walked out on stage unannounced. Gene ran over to him and whispered, “Miles my man, I only invited you to watch, not play”. Miles looked at him and said, “dude, shut the fuck up start playin “Love Gun”. Thats my jam”.

Charlie Daniels wrote the song “Devil Went Down To Georgia” based on seeing a KISS concert in Dahlonega, Georgia. He truly thought that they were the band brought there by Satan himself. Years later, Charlie Daniels still tours with that song being the only one anyone ever recognizes. He makes more money from jukebox residuals than touring. Now with YouTube and all, who needs jukeboxes, so this past year he was invited by Paul Stanley to perform “Devil Went Down to Georgia” at that same venue in Dahlonega. No shocker hear, Paul played the part of the devil. Not sure how they got a stripper pole on that small stage.

A few years ago, KISS was finally inducted into The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. (RRHOF) One of the traditions at the award ceremony is to have someone who was very influenced by, or influential to the nominee introduce them at the award cerfemony and perform with them.. Well that list was too long to pick one person, so the committee pondered on it. Who or what means the most to KISS? The answer...money. At this point during the meeting, the secretary of the RRHOF had just left the room to take a call about her sons babysitter being sick so she had to leave and pick up the boy from the bus stop. Not asking what else was said in the meeting, she went ahead and booked Eddie Money to play with KISS at the ceremony. To this day, KISS doesnt even know why but they made the best of it... Eddie Money blew a blood vessel that night.

Today, KISS is still a major influence all over the performing arts. Even the cast of the broadway sensation “Hamilton” has special once a month matinee performance with KISS as the pit band.

..and even Paul Stanley is a huge “Hamilton” fan..

Today, THE hottest ticket is Adele. No band on stage, no pyro, just ...her...and that voice... people are paying thousands to see her/hear her. but..she knows... she gets it.. she needs to figure out something to boost that stage. Well, she is on the right track.. recently she got former KISS guitarist, Vinnie Vincent who has been a recluse and not been seen in years to come and play guitar for her. He asked if he could wear the makeup and outfit for old times sake. She said, “Sure, as long as you dont spill me coffee, mate”.

Get it?