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slasherbastard · 4 years

Note

How would the slashers act if there s/o had a musical talent? Like amazing singing or plays an instrument? Just curious. Love your blog

thank you so much! You have no idea how excited I’ve been to post this, also I didn’t know what slashers to do so I threw together some random ones who I haven’t written for much (and Brahms, you can’t forget Brahms)

(gif credit: macmillanestate)

Poly!Billy and Stu

You're in a band as the electric guitarist/lead vocalist, probably a pop punk band

Billy and Stu always come to your shows

Even if they have murder plans, they will 100% show up to support their favourite person and their band afterwards (but mostly you)

Supportive boyfriends™

Back when you were practicing with your band in your parent's garage, Billy and Stu were the walking definition of happy heckling

It was either you kick them out of the garage or practice at someone else's place

Long story short, the drummer's house is pretty cool

They get to hear your band's songs early, no exceptions

They will want to help you with song writing

Stu: "Okay okay what about you just start screaming at this part?"

Billy: "Ooh wait, you should sing this part then go into the chorus"

Stu: "Will I be credited on the album as a co-songwriter?"

"Yeah, definitely Stu."

When your band goes on tour they will miss you like crazy, Stu will cry and beg you not to go

One of them - if not both - have probably tried hiding in your suitcases

If you’re performing at a show that isn’t too far, there’s a chance that Billy and Stu will show up and surprise you

Your band either hates or loves them

You may or may not have had to replace one of the ruder members after their mysterious disappearance, your boyfriends definitely didn’t have anything to do with it

Okay he was getting on your nerves and Billy caught him flirting with you- oh, you guys weren’t flirting? You were just showing him your new guitar? Oof

They’ve definitely been kicked out of multiple venues for being happy hecklers

"That's my Y/N! Wooh!"

"We love you, babe!"

(gif credit: boodalinski-gifs)

Brahms Heelshire

Before taking the job as a babysitter, you were a pianist

When Mrs. Heelshire first showed you the “classroom” you were so happy to see that they owned a piano

You wanted to ask if you could play it but you did arrive later than you’d expected so you’s expected

So you waited until your first day with Brahms

Brahms didn’t expect his nanny to know how to play the piano so when you sat down and started playing one of your favourite pieces, he was hooked

The human Brahms started leaving you notes and sheets of music that he wanted you to learn, bonus points if you already knew them

It confused you, but you weren’t complaining. You love playing piano and it was one way to stop you from dying of boredom

When you’re doing chores you gently sing along to whatever song is playing on your phone

You found out about the real Brahms in the middle of the night when you heard someone playing a lullaby on the piano

You followed the music and saw him sitting there, lost in the music

When Brahms saw you he expected you to run, but instead you sat next to him and watched him play

But knowing Brahms, he’d probably stop and make you play a piece for him

This happens everytime you catch him playing

So you’ve started pretending not to hear it, when you’re actually standing just outside the room

Brahms caught you once, you sing a lot louder than you think you do

(gif credit: vork---m)

Bubba Sawyer

Texas in the mid 1970s? You’re probably an acoustic guitarist who knows a few country songs

But your musical expertise isn’t shortened to just country songs, you also know how to play some blues and a few older songs from the 30s-50s (think Diamond City Radio from Fallout 4?)

When Bubba found out you could play the guitar he begged you to play him something

You probably played him Johnny Cash, maybe Betty Hutton

Sometimes you put on concerts for him, his cousins, and sometimes his grandpa

Hell, sometimes Drayton will even listen - he won’t admit that he likes hearing you play but you’ve caught him singing and dancing along to you playing the guitar more times than either of you would like to admit

When Bubba isn’t busy dealing with victims he’ll definitely sit with you and watch you practice

If a song comes on the radio that he knows that you can play, he’ll ask you to play it on your guitar

When you sing he also tries to sing - well, babbles but it’s still adorable

Bubba would encourage you to perform in public at a nearby bar - although he can’t come and see you for obvious reasons

Or he’ll beg you to record yourself playing and send it to a radio station

If you did and they decided to play it, Bubba would be more excited than you

He’d babble so much, roughly translating to something along the lines of-

"I'm so proud of you! My baby Y/N is famous!"

Would Bubba cry? Yes

Bubba’s always gonna be your biggest fan, no matter if you get famous or only play for him and his family in the living room

If he could, he’d brag about you to everyone

Sometimes when he’s dealing with victims he’ll babble to them as if he’s trying to tell them that his Y/N is one of the most talented humans he’d ever me

"They're amazing - stop screaming i'm trying to tell you about the love of my life - sigh, okay fine *chainsaw noises*

(gif credit: theghostbeaters)

Amanda Young

Amanda LOVES hearing you sing

She idolises you, although she’s a tiny bit jealous about your voice

It makes her wonder how she was so lucky to score someone like you

If you write a song about her, she will be obsessed

She’ll hum it while she’s setting up the next games and while preparing the next victims

When she first introduces you to John, he’ll tell you that Amanda is beyond obsessed with you

You won’t see it, but she’ll be making faces and hand gestures at John trying to shut him up and stop embarrassing her

"This one does not shut up about you"

"Did you write her a song? She sings it constantly!"

"I swear I should invent a trap to shut her up"

It’s like a father-daughter relationship between those two, it’s amusing

Sometimes you try to get Amanda to sing with you as well

Amanda’s more of a listener than a singer - unless she’s singing one of your songs

But she tries to sing with you as it makes you happy

She mostly enjoys your voice, though, especially when she’s not feeling the best mentally, it calms her

(gif credit: stabhappyslashers)

Vincent Sinclair

Vincent didn’t know you could sing until he caught you singing along to one his brother’s CDs, so you know it’s gonna be either heavy, edgy, or both

Spoiler alert: it was a Deftones album

You were upstairs doing who knows what when he heard loud music, and he doesn’t like being disturbed especially when he’s working

He came upstairs to tell you to turn your music down but was stunned when he heard you singing those harsh vocals almost entirely at the same level as the vocalist

When you realised Vincent was watching you you nearly passed out from shock

He’s really quiet

You’d quickly pause your music and apologise

"Oh- Uh sorry Vincent. I didn't see you there"

"Were you working? Shit, you were working. I am so sorry"

Although you were embarrassed, Vincent thought it was cute

He’d sign at you not to be embarrassed and he’d leave you to finish whatever you were previously doing

He listens to you sing more often, he’s a sucker for your voice

If you’re in the studio with him and you start softly humming he won’t stop you

Although it might distract him and cause him to take too much wax off of one of his works (sorry Vincent)

Bonus: (aka, sort of shitposts)

Poly!Billy and Stu - Billy and Stu were never huge fans of Alice Cooper but after you forced them to watch Monster Dog, they have not shut up about Identity Crisises

Brahms Heelshire - As much as Brahms loves you and your musical talent, he really wants you to stop playing “meme songs” on the piano. He can’t stand whatever a “wii shop theme” is

Bubba Sawyer - three words. Friends Without Faces

Amanda Young - Amanda’s guilty pleasure? Musicals - Just don’t mention Repo! The Genetic Opera, though

Vincent Sinclair - He’ll record you singing - with your permission, of course - for an exhibition in the House of Wax

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dissonantdreamer · 3 years

Text

CHECK IN TAG

i was tagged by @silentsockfeet @mimixdinellie and @dinasknifewife hell yeah, thank you gang (i’m trying out gang, seeing if it fits)

why did you choose your url?

i am a nightmare of a human being

any side blogs? if you have them: name them and why you have them

if i say anything my main blog is going to want in on that action and i know those two will run off without me

how long have you been on tumblr?

i simultaneously have always been here and have never been here in my life

do you have a queue tag?

wouldn’t queue like to know. nosy bastard

why did you start your blog in the first place?

pretty sure someone one ao3 commented i should get one and because i was lonely and easily succumb to peer pressure i did. and this little corner of the net has become pretty aok

why did you choose your icon?

because if you take a piece of my soul boil it down to its essences then infuse paint with that essence paint a photo then take a digital scan and upload it to the web to use it for a profile picture then you’re looking at me in my rawest form

why did you choose your header?

changed it up for pride, my usual header is my favorite shitpost i’ve made. II Fast II Furious.

how many mutuals do you have?

so many and i am woefully bad at counting past ten. so at least ten

how many followers do you have?

595, toying with some kind of face reveal at 600

how many people do you follow?

between 69 and 420

have you ever made a shitpost?

have you met me?

how often do you use tumblr each day?

i don’t know how to exit the app, im terrible with technology

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

nah, i’ve had some shitty people try me but, like it’s a video game lads, go outside get some air, eat a pussy, suck a dick, buy drugs. that’s what i’ve been doing and that’s why i don’t want to waste my time arguing online

how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

some people need to get reblogs through fear, those people are weak.

do you like tag games?

i fuckin’ suck at tag, everyone is like 10 and their lungs are pure plus when it’s my turn not to be it they make me it as soon as they can. one kid tagged me five years ago at a birthday party and i felt so guilty when i told him no and he cried that i’ve just been playing to make them happy ever since. i‘m exhausted, and my asthma is just how i breath forever all the time now i guess.

do you like ask games?

who’s askin’?

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

tumblr famous is like being the february employee of the month at a hardees in a swamp

do you have a crush on a mutual?

of course how could i not. i have strong thighs i’m capable of crushing and if someone wants to challenge me i am up for a mutual crush.

uuuuuhhhhhh if you have not done this and want to, you should because i don’t know who has been tagged and at this point i’m too afraid to ask

#an ask in which I do not know how to not use humor to respond #thank you for that tags guys #needed the distraction tonigh

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onebizarrekai · 4 years

Text

Meme Waker: That Final Thing

okay aight here we go here’s the big idea compilation you’ve all been waiting for or something like that

since I’ve finally accepted meme waker’s inevitable fate, I’ll share what I’ve had laying around about it. prepare yourself for a wild ride.

first of all, what existed of the planned character key:

Nightmare = Link Dream = Aryll Cross = Tetra Ink = The Entire Pirate Crew Granny Gertrude = Grandma Horror = Quill Killer = Medli Color = Komali Dust = Makar XGaster = Tingle (yes, you read that right) Fresh = Fado (?) Geno = Laruto Blueberry = Niko Error = Ganondorf Giant Flying Chicken = Helmaroc King Core Frisk = The King XChara = Zelda

So XChara was going to fill the role of Zelda–basically, what was going to happen was that when Cross and Nightmare reached sunken Hyrule, which was replaced by the Omega Timeline, they encountered Core Frisk and with their magical Core Frisk powers that apparently exist, separated XChara from Cross’s body. Because Error was hunting him down for whatever villainous reasons (I dunno, maybe he wanted to find Overwrite or something), XChara was going to spend the near remainder of the comic hiding in the Omega Timeline from Error. It was a pretty neat reference to the fact that Error doesn’t know where the OT is.

Unsurprisingly, considering when I was working on this, Nightmare and Cross may have eventually started dating. They were going to kiss during a fight that involved them accidentally rolling down a hill and then likely spend the remainder of the comic referring to each other as boyfriends, with no further indication of romance between them. I never really mentally decided whether I was actually going to incorporate this or not.

In moments where someone needed to present a musical instrument, Cross was going to play a keytar.

There is a very high chance that the entire comic was going to end up being an elaborate prank set up by Ink and Error.

After being rescued from the Forsaken Fortress, Dream was going to get crossbows and… I dunno, maybe be useful with them sometimes. One consideration was that he was going to complain about being stuck in a glorified retirement home and request joining the party.

Nightmare was going to have a fake ID with the name “Nathaniel Meyer” on it.

When Nightmare eventually pulled up the Gaster Sword, he was basically going to do a magical girl transformation and get a new outfit. I was considering holding a contest where people would submit new designs for Nightmare before I realized that I may have wanted to do it myself. Meanwhile, Cross’s design change at the same time was going to pertain to the fact that he had such a hard time with his uniform that he just wanted to start wearing normal clothes.

When XChara was separated from Cross, it would indicate that Cross can’t use the hack knife anymore, so I had to think of a new weapon for him. I considered giving him arm mounts with knives in them for no reason other than being extra, but I was probably just going to end up going with a regular sword.

Nightmare and Cross were going to be mistaken for missionaries at some point due to Nightmare introducing Cross as his ‘companion’.

Nightmare’s fake ID is actually a driver’s license. Cross questions how he could get one when he’s only fifteen, and Nightmare responds with “what can I say? I live in the country.”

The Giant Flying Chicken was going to evolve into the Cyborg Giant Flying Chicken before Nightmare and Cross fought it. It was already a robot, but someone decided it would be fun to make it look more robotic for some reason. Maybe too many people tried to eat it.

Because Blueberry was going to replace Niko, that meant there was going to be a form of challenge that he would present to Nightmare and/or Cross. They were probably just going to play Dance Dance Revolution.

The dress that Granny Gertrude gave Nightmare was actually going to be infused with magical powers. Either Nightmare could only access the power of the Triforce when he’s wearing the dress, or it was going to be a piece of equipment that turned his sword into a fire sword.

Nightmare was going to come back to the Village of Old People to see that his grandmother had conquered it with capitalism.

Dragon Roost Cavern was going to be replaced with a Pokemon gym.

When Nightmare supposedly kicked Error’s ass at the end of the story, he was going to say something along the lines of “Because fuck you!” and it would be the first and only f-bomb in the whole comic. Nightmare would proceed to say that it was the first time he’d ever said fuck and that he felt dirty.

The Triforce of Courage was just going to be called the Triforce of Porridge for exactly zero reason.

Some incarnation of Buffmare was going to exist in the comic, but only in a sequence taking place in Nightmare’s imagination.

When Cross realized his backpack was missing, it was because I realized his backpack was missing. I forgot to draw it. I decided that the backpack actually fused with him to create a Zelda-style magic pocket.

Nightmare was going to try to control a seagull with the command melody, but he was accidentally going to start controlling Cross instead and make him run into a tree.

The Tree Spirit was going to hold official interviews for placeholder guardians in Dream and Nightmare’s absence. These placeholder guardians were going to be Neil, the overenthusiastic French furry, and Ccino, the local emo kid who is absolutely done with everyone’s bullshit, and exclusively because they were the only ones who applied for the job. Neil was going to have an ulterior motive of becoming Gaston’s successor.

Neil and Ccino were eventually going to ‘get together’, if you can even call it that, and for no other reason than shitpost reasons.

Nightmare may have had a showdown with the Giant Flying Chicken while riding the Great Charizard from Dragon Roost.

Another possible concept for whole story was that it was a bad self insert fic written by a younger version of Nightmare, but it’s really unlikely that I would’ve gone through with that.

Nightmare and Cross may have needed to go on a fetch quest to find Ink’s brush in the ocean because they accidentally lost it, but honestly that would’ve served nothing for the progression of the story. Because XGaster put a tracker on Ink’s brush, they were going to have to enlist his help.

and that about wraps up my notes, now let me throw what I had sitting around of a script draft–reading this was a trip because I forgot that literally 60% of it existed:

(inside the mountain)

Cross: holy shoe, EVERYONE has wings? how is this a thing??

Cross: I’m frickin jealous

Chief: Oh. You must be. Those guys.

Horror: yeah man, I enlisted their help to capture the Chicken Terror, but then they were all like yo, it’s a robot! 

Chief: horror robot or not I told you that we weren’t going to capture the chicken terror for food because we’re not cannibals we don’t eat birds

Horror: but

Horror: we’re hardly even birds!

Chief: you know your job Horror. now get back to work. your actual work.

Horror: But… being the mailman sucks! 

Chief: Do I need to confiscate your axe again? 

Horror: OKAY FINE. I’M GOING. (flies away in a huff)

Chief: AND DO YOUR GODFORSAKEN LAUNDRY!

Chief: I apologize for that… so, how can I help you two today? 

Nightmare: You guys have like, some pearl thing or something? We need to like, collect three of them in order to… save the multiverse… or something like that.

(Camera dramatically darkens.)

Chief: It’s just as the prophecy foretold…

Nightmare: oh god what

Chief: You see, young whippersnappers… legend tells of a great hero that would rise up and save a bunch of people in times of desperation that they don’t even realize are desperate. the great hero would travel far and wide in search of the Pearls of Shiny to finally retrieve a great weapon that he would use to strike down the evil that few knew existed. also the hero would have a sidekick wearing stupid clothes.

Cross: EXCUSE ME

Chief: THAT’S JUST WHAT THE PROPHECY SAID

Nightmare: okay, y’know, I’m just gonna roll with it. where can I get the pearl?

Chief: Well… that’s where the hard part comes in. You see, the pearl belongs to my son… but he’s been acting like an edgy teenager lately.

Nightmare: Great…

Cross: Is there a reason he’s being edgy? Maybe there’s something we can do to appease his hormones.

Cross: Free food works like a charm for me.

Chief: No, it’s more complicated than that. When one of our people becomes of age, they climb to the top of Charizard Island to receive a scale from the Great Charizard that will allow them to grow wings.

Nightmare: the… great charizard.

Chief: But lately, the Great Charizard has been throwing inexplicable temper tantrums. No one can get close to him anymore. And with my son being of age, he’s decently pissed off about this.

Chief: We’re thinking that the Great Charizard is displeased about something, and it is also causing our shortage of food.

Nightmare: Wait, you worship something named after a Pokemon? 

Chief: Anyway, perhaps you two will be able to talk some sense into my son. Maybe he just wants to talk to someone his age that isn’t Horror or Killer.

Nightmare: What kind of names are those? 

Chief: There’s a letter that I wanted my son to read, and I’ve given it to Killer to hold onto. You can go get it from him upstairs in the first room near the stairs, just tell him I sent you. He’s the little guy in the short shorts, you’ll probably recognize him when you see him.

Nightmare: Can’t you just call him here? 

Chief: No, it is of upmost importance that you experience a basic fetch quest in order to become a great hero, because those fetch quests will become needlessly complicated before you even realize it.

Nightmare: ?????

Nightmare: I can’t even tell if you’re joking or not–

Cross: dude let’s just go get the letter

(scene transition)

(Killer dramatically turns around and it zooms in and says his name SSB style)

Nightmare: Wait, why do you get a dramatic introduction? 

Killer: Dayum. New faces.

Nightmare: Why is everyone ignoring my questions??

Killer: (needlessly sensual voice) So, what brings you here? (walking closer) 

Nightmare: (backs into wall) NO BUENO

Cross: You have a letter or something? 

Killer: Oh. Yeah. Chief gave it to me for some reason. Yo, catch.

(He chucks it like a ninja star. Cross catches it between his hands in front of his face.) 

Killer: Ey! You actually caught it! 

Cross: I’m a trained ninja.

Killer: So like, who are you guys?

Cross: I’m Cross. He’s Larry.

Nightmare: NIGHTMARE. MY NAME IS NIGHTMARE.

Killer: Aw man, I know the feel of having a really lame name and wanting one that’s cooler.

Nightmare: No. Like. My name is actually Nightmare. My senile grandma called me Larry earlier today and this loser picked up on it.

Killer: There’s no need to lie. I understand.

Nightmare: I’M NOT LYING!

Killer: anyway make sure you get that letter to Color there’s something I have to do–

(Killer zips out the door behind them.) 

Cross: what even the frick? 

Nightmare: that guy freaks me the frick out.

Nightmare: literally. I felt like he was coming onto me.

Cross: you’re imagining things.

(SCENE TRANSITION)  Cross: all right Nightmare I literally do not trust your ability to communicate with another person in a way that will make them feel inclined to give us something so just let me handle this okay

Cross: okay better yet wait outside the room

(Nightmare makes a less than amused face.) 

Cross: it’s for the greater good

(Cross walks into the room.)

Cross: hi my name is Cross and

Color: LEAVE

(Cross immediately exits the room.)

Cross: this is a lost causeNightmare: what

Cross: go make him bleed with your words

Nightmare: dude isn’t this the part where we give him the frickin letter

Cross: (pauses) :o

Cross: OH RIGHT

(Cross takes the letter and goes back into the room, leaving the door open)

Cross: oh yeah this letter is for you it’s from your dad or something

Color: Oh, wow. Can’t even be bothered to talk to me in person.

Color: Give me that thing.

(Color stares at the letter. It’s actually a letter from Killer filled with really bad pickup lines and other really creepy compliments.)

Color: What the hell, you said this was from my dad!

Cross: We thought it was–??

(Killer teleports in behind them, scaring the shit out of Nightmare) 

Killer: Suuuup~

Color: Killer I swear to god.

Killer: Here’s the actual letter, though you might not be happy with it.

(He flings it at Color and it lands in front of him. He reads it over, rolls his eyes and throws it in the trash.)

Cross: So uh… I don’t know what the letter says but apparently we’re prophesied heroes collecting a bunch of pearls to save the multiverse and the pearl you have is– 

Color: Can everyone just get out of my room already?

(everyone just leaves)

Nightmare: What even was the point of that stupid fetch quest?

Killer: Oh yeah, can you guys help me with something? Just a smalllll favor. And I can’t ask anyone else because I’m not supposed to do it.

Killer: I need some strong, reliable people…

Nightmare: Don’t touch me.

Killer: It’s just a small favor! And I mean actually small, it’ll take like two minutes.

Nightmare: I have doubts about this.

Killer: Great! Meet me out back by the spring.

Nightmare: Wait which side is the back–

(Killer is gone)

Nightmare: Cross which side is the back.

Cross: I don’t know??

(after spending twenty minutes going through the various exits trying to figure out how to get there)

Killer: What the hell took you so long.

Nightmare: Directions would’ve been helpful. There wasn’t even a freaking map anywhere in there!

Killer: The hollow is like the size of a middle class house! How difficult could it be to find out where to go?!

Nightmare: IT’S A DOME THERE IS NO BACK

Cross: OKAY, what matters is that we’re here, what the heck do we do now.

Killer: Okay, okay. (steps backwards) Look, if you look around here, it’s all a dried up spring. The Great Charizard was throwing a tantrum, a boulder fell down and it coincidentally plugged up the spring for the third time this week, which is literally our main source of fresh water. I’m honestly getting sick of this so I’m going to climb the mountain and see what’s going on because everyone else is too scared to do it.

Nightmare: God. You’re not gonna make us go with you, are you? 

Killer: Oh, no way. I just need you to throw me up that cliff over there so I can get into the cavern that leads up the mountain.

Nightmare: Can’t you fly?

Killer: Not thirty feet straight up. Do these noodle arms look like they can manage that? 

Nightmare: Whatever. But quick question. How the hell does one throw a person.

Killer: I weigh like fifty pounds. It shouldn’t be that hard. Also, if you’ve noticed, the wind is rapidly changing directions, so you’ll probably have the best effect throwing me when the wind is blowing that way.

Nightmare: Mhmm. Sure. Let’s just get this over with.

(Nightmare crouches down and Killer fuckin walks onto his shoulders)

Nightmare: Hey! Watch it!

(some way or another he throws Killer and Killer barely makes it to the cliff, face planting into the ground)

Nightmare: Well I guess that worked.

Killer: THAT WAS TERRIBLE!

Nightmare: YOU’RE WELCOME! COULD’VE JUST USED A DAMN LADDER!

Killer: NOBODY OWNS A LADDER HERE BECAUSE EVERYONE CAN FLY!

Nightmare: Then how the frick do people get up this cliff?!

Killer: THERE’S NORMALLY A BRIDGE BUT IT BROKE AND PROBLEMS LIKE THESE ARE PRECISELY WHY I’M CLIMBING THE MOUNTAIN TO BEGIN WITH! ALSO I’M LEAVING BYE. (turns and leaves)

(cricket cricket)

Cross: Nightmare we should probably follow him.

Nightmare: No.

Cross: What else do we have to do. We solve their problem, Color can get his wings and then he stops being emo and gives us the pearl out of the goodness of his heart.

Nightmare: I’m not risking my life for this! If that guy is willing to do it himself I’m going to let him do it!

Cross: Dude, look at that guy. He looks about at capable fixing whatever the problem is as Ink is at providing emotional support. If this happens to be anything like a video game, we’re the only ones capable of solving anything. Besides, what else are we supposed to do? Hang around and wait for something to happen?

Nightmare: All right, fine. But how are we supposed to do something? It’s not like we can climb up a thirty foot cliff.

Cross: No, but we can swim, right?Nightmare: What?

(Cross draws a line around the rock covering the spring. It dematerializes into red squares and water starts to spew out of the spring. They both run back towards the side and climb up the cliff they came from)

Nightmare: Dude, what the hell was that?

Cross: I can draw lines around things with my sword and they do that and go away.

Nightmare: … do they go somewhere? 

Cross: I dunno.

(Meanwhile in Xtale, a boulder slams into the floor and almost crushes Fresh because of course he’s there)

(The spring fills up) 

Nightmare: You know I’m starting to have second thoughts about this swimming thing seeing as how I’ve never actually–(Cross kicks him into the water) 

(LATER) 

Nightmare: YOU ASSHOLE I ALMOST DROWNED

Cross: You’re exaggerating.

Random Dude: STOP RIGHT THERE! 

Nightmare: who.

Random Dude: YOU AREN’T GOIN ONE STEP PAST THIS POINT! YOU’RE LIGHT YEARS FROM FACING BROCK!

(nightmare squints)

(comic suddenly goes into a battle sequence)

Nightmare: whoa whoa what the hell is happening

Cross: oh my god it’s pokemon NIGHTMARE IT’S POKEMON

Nightmare: I DON’T HAVE ANY POKEMON CROSS THREATEN HIM

(Random Dude sent out MEWTWO)

Cross: DEAR GOD

Cross: LISTEN THERE’S A HUGE MISUNDERSTANDING WE’RE NOT TRAINERS WE DON’T HAVE POKEMON

Random Dude: tHEN WHY ARE YOU IN A POKEMON GYM HUH

Cross: Uh… touring?

Random Dude: OH

Random Dude: I SEE

(The Random Dude returns his Mewtwo.)

Random Dude: THERE HAS BEEN AN UNFORTUNATE MISUNDERSTANDING

Cross: Say uh, you didn’t happen to see a scrawny dude with wings pass through here, did you?

Random Dude: Oh yeah, he went into the next room and took the elevator to the top.

(silence) 

Nightmare: Why are there always elevators.

(two seconds later, they reach the elevator and there’s a dude standing in front of it) 

Nightmare: um excuse me we need to use the elevator

Dude: oh man I can’t find my glasses anywhere what do I do

Nightmare: excuse me I said move

Dude: oh man I can’t find my glasses anywhere what do I do

Nightmare: HELLO

Dude: oh man I can’t find my glasses anywhere what do I do

Nightmare: MOVE ASSHOLE

Cross: I think it’s a preprogrammed NPC.

Nightmare: UAGGGGHHHHH

(Nightmare throws himself into the person, but he slams into the STEEL WALL OF NPC)

Nightmare: CROSS TELEPORT HIM AWAY

Cross: wait are you serious what if that freakin kills him I don’t know where these things go

Nightmare: YOU SAID IT YOURSELF HE’S AN NPC

(Cross shrugs. He draws a line around the NPC and the NPC disappears)

(one elevator ride later)

Nightmare: (chokes) oh god

Nightmare: the altitude

Cross: nightmare this island is still lower than ink’s house.

Nightmare: PSYCHOLOGICAL ALTITUDE

(fwip)

Cross: Oh look, it’s that guy from earlier.

Nightmare: Got captured somehow. Why am I not surprised?

Killer: YOU KNOW WHAT SCREW YOU GUYS

(A really buff guy abruptly slams into the ground)

Buff Guy: FEAR MY WRATH, FOR I AM BROCK! LEADER OF ALL THINGS ROCK HARD

Nightmare: Look man, we really don’t have time for this, just let the shota hoe go, we’re just checking up on the huge-ass Charizard up there.

Killer: excuse me

Brock: I AM THE LOYAL GUARDIAN OF THE GREAT CHARIZARD! You can only pass if you defeat me! 

Cross: what the hell is even happening anymore

(Loud gym battle music as the gate at the entrance of the clearing slams shut)

Nightmare: LOOK WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS WE DON’T HAVE ANY POKEMON

(Brock war cries as he sends out a very anime geodude)

Nightmare: can someone please tell me I’m hallucinating all of this

Brock: WELL, IF YOU DON’T HAVE POKEMON, YOU’LL HAVE TO USE A RENTAL

Cross: What? But rental pokemon always suck.

Brock: YOU MUST PROVE YOUR WORTH SOMEHOW! AND BECAUSE YOU’RE SMALL CHILDREN YOU OBVIOUSLY CAN’T PROVE IT THROUGH SUMO WRESTLING.

Nightmare: I’m fifteen!

Cross: Nightmare I think you’re missing the point.

Killer: Good god, just let them through and let me out of here, they’re the heroes of prophecy.

Brock: PROPHECY

Brock: GOODNESS ME I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT

(Brock returns his geodude)

Brock: YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING

Nightmare: That would have worked?

Brock: BUT! IF YOU WANT TO FREE THIS TINY FELLOW HERE, YOU MUST COMPLETE A DIFFERENT CHALLENGE! FOR YOU SEE, HE TRIED TO PASS THROUGH HERE WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION! 

(Killer rolls his eyes. Nightmare squints, literally pulling a notebook out of his shirt. He writes something in it, walking up to Brock and holding it up. It says “Let the guy out of jail you dick”)

Brock: AHA

Brock: WELL

Brock: I CAN’T ARGUE WITH THAT

(He stomps his foot on the ground and the bars in front of Killer go up)

Brock: DON’T BE CAUSING TROUBLE NOW KIDS 

(He ascends back into the sky) 

Cross: I’m not even going to ask. That entire conversation felt like a drug trip.

(Killer dramatically throws himself onto Nightmare) 

Killer: I knew you would come around, my knight in–

Nightmare: Why did I assume that you had become any less creepy in the last ten minutes. Why did I even do that? 

Killer: Because your heart told you to.

Nightmare: Dear god stop touching me or I will literally pick you up and slam you into the floor.

Killer: Feisty. Anyway, I figured out why the Great Charizard is freaking out all the time. His tail is hanging down into the room below him and something is chewing on it like all the time.

Cross: What? Then why doesn’t it just, I dunno, pull its freaking tail out of the room like a reasonable creature? Or maybe take care of the problem on its own?

Killer: The Great Charizard is like a five year-old. It’s self aware, but it expects all of its problems to be solved by everyone else and throws tantrums when that doesn’t happen.

Nightmare: Well that’s stupid. Why does everyone act like it’s some holy being then?

Killer: Because it’s a massive, terrifying dragon that can breathe fire?

ok unfortunately this is where the script ends but I hope you enjoyed that

oh yeah, and some extremely old art that I found:

as well as a brief consideration to make the characters human before deciding that I just didn’t want to work on the comic anymore.

basically you will notice that most of this doesn’t have a solid outline, and you’d be right: I never actually planned it that meticulously. I mostly just winged it and threw stuff in over the course of time and never even really planned anything close to a definitive ending beyond “maybe it was a prank”. sorry if this is like… anticlimactic, but it’s all I could find!

#meme waker #long post

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amedetoiles · 4 years

Note

give me a character meme! wwx please!!

[All gifs made by me. No stealing or reposting, thank you. ♥︎]

★ How I feel about this character

I love wwx so much and he deserves so much!!! My feelings for him can be summed up by my first ever meta in this fandom, this half-crack half-shitpost, and the many many meta tears scattered across all the tags on my page that various people have yelled at me for. I love him. I love him, I love him, I love him. No character has wrecked me as much as this stupid chaotic ass, who is so inherently good and selfishly selfless it fucking hurts. Yet, for all the love and care he gives freely to everyone else, he can’t for the life of him compute any that others have given to him. He tries so hard to be good, to make the right choices even in impossible, horrendous circumstances, and it’s excruciatingly painful watching him realize again and again that even good choices paved with good intentions can cause destruction. He suffers so much because of it. He suffers before we even really meet him. @cangse-sanren wrote “Your parents were bright smears of color and laughter to you, but little more” in this beautiful fic, and I still weep about it daily.

I love how immensely protective he is of both his siblings. He just tries so goddamn hard to be what everyone needs. I could and have and will continue to cry about him every day. How his pathological tendency to repress all things that hurt him, to cover up his pain in humor and obnoxiousness and bravado, and his internalized belief that he is worth much less than everyone else, all converged into the most awful way possible. How despite losing his sect, his siblings, his friends, he was still trying up until the very end. God, what a fantastically complex fucking character. To watch him bloom again after that deluge of rage and grief and insanity 13/16 years later was the most satisfying journey anyone could possibly depict. To know that he has the chance to heal, to recover, to grow with all the different parts of his family he once thought lost forever now back in his reach (yes! even our angry grape!!). Truly amazing.

★ All the people I ship romantically with this character

WangXian!!!! These kids who came out of endless tragedy and trauma to find a love, a trust in each other–theirs is a love story that truly extends across space and time. It warms my heart to watch them rebuild their lives together into something warmer, and brighter, and happier than either of them ever grew up knowing. To watch them shed the psychological trauma on what it means to love and be loved given to them by their terrible parental figures and say, “No. We’re going to be better than that.” I love how they complement one another. How loudly and quietly they love each other. How in the warm security of each other’s embrace, they are each able to work through their own internalized traumas without judgement. Lan Wangji’s uncompromising devotion. Wei Wuxian’s fierce protectiveness. It’s hard to say who else could fit together so perfectly. What a joy it is to watch Wei Wuxian realize that he is no longer alone, that Lan Wangji is and will always be standing beside him. What a joy it is to watch Lan Wangji realize that this is not the dream he’s spent years suffering through, that Wei Ying has returned to him against all odds. What a fucking joy it is to watch them both learn to trust happiness, to trust love, to trust each other. GOD. *wails*

★ My non-romantic OTP for this character

YUNMENG SHUANGJIE. YUNMENG SIBS. YILING SIBS. A-YUAN AND HIS TWO DADS. All the different found families that permeated the story was just breathtakingly beautiful. They all fucking gutted me. It all at once makes Wei Wuxian’s story that much more beautiful and that much more tragic. For a child who lost his parents before he even had time to remember them, who then had to rebuild his family again and again, only to lose them each time in increasingly horrifying ways–it truly fucked me up. Wei Wuxian stood on that cliff in Nightless City, and it was visibly clear that he wanted nothing more than to join all the families he loved and watched die (because of him).

The beauty of his story of course is that for all the tragedy that he is subsumed by, for all the ways that he is wronged and has wronged, there are equal, if not more, number of ways that he is lifted, is healed, is shone a light through all the darkness. In the end, his families return to him. Wen Ning, who lived despite it all, carrying the memory of his sister, the best doctor in the world. His shijie shining through his bratty nephew’s heart of gold. His very own A-Yuan, kept safe and protected all these years by his soulmate, his zhiji. His angry grape of a little brother who can’t say I forgive you but tosses him Chenqing that he’s kept safe all these years and says I trust you. They’re all a little broken, a little worse for wear, but there’s something extraordinarily beautiful about these families who find each other again through the bridges they rebuild towards something better.

★ My unpopular opinion about this character

Oh man, I’ve seen a lot of debate about wwx that I try not to get into (I type this of course as I ready myself to do exactly that). Probably the most unpopular opinion (possibly?) I have is that I don’t personally feel like the addition of a second flautist and expanding Jin Guangyao’s villain-ry in CQL detracted or reduced Wei Wuxian’s complex morality–one of my favorite and best parts to his character. I still think he is very gray. His tragedy is still contingent on his naive idealism and his willful blindness that a person only needs to be righteous and honorable regardless of reputation and politics. This clearly isn’t the case. Not just for him, but for all the characters. You can do everything right and still be punished. You can do everything right and still cause others pain. You can be the most hypocritical, loudmouthed piece of judgmental shit and still remain unpunished and available to share your stupid ass ignorant opinions on matters that have nothing to do with you. (Whoops that got away from me.) Wei Wuxian learns this repeatedly. It’s excellent and heartbreaking.

The thing about Wei Wuxian is that for all that he has imposter syndrome, for all that he is unable to see that he is a person worthy of the love he receives, he is still not only extremely confident in his own abilities and in his beliefs of what is right and what is wrong, but also that he is the person who can decide that line between justice and evil. An arrogant assumption, and one that causes not only him but the people he strives to protect a significant amount of pain. This wasn’t lost in CQL. While the plot technically does absolve him of all of his crimes on a surface level, it’s clearly not as simple for Wei Wuxian himself. In the Ancestral Hall, Wei Wuxian stares at the names of Jiang Fengmian, Madam Yu, and Jiang Yanli, whose lives are heavily felt on his shoulders, and he tells Lan Wangji, “After all, the Stygian Tiger Seal was created by me. Whether Jin Guangyao was there or not, that fact can’t be changed.” The show despite its censorship still asks the audience to evaluate his actions and the role he played, both willing and unwillingly, in the deaths of so many people.

It is also shown clearly that the cultivation world only stops trying to kill him because there was now another target, another scapegoat to blame. This is something that Wei Wuxian knows and expresses on multiple occasions on the show. For all that the show may have change things, I don’t think it’s necessarily correct or fair to say that it completely washed away the nuance that was present in the novel. The overarching conflicts and questions are still there. What is moral and what isn’t, what is justified and what isn’t, who is at fault for unforeseen consequences and who isn’t, and the role of external factors and circumstances in all of this. As someone who watched the drama first, I didn’t feel that the complexity of all the characters and their decisions was lost at all in comparison to the novel I later read. The show was honestly superb and still the best version for me overall. (Please don’t send pitchforks.) I have so much more to say about this, and Jin Guangyao still being a great nuanced character foil, but alas, this is already too long.

Other things: Wei Wuxian is a good brother actually, and he knows Jiang Cheng very well. He tried his best under the worst possible circumstances, and it was a great big shit show. I hate discussions where people try to hold one brother more responsible than the other. They both very nobly (and very recklessly) sacrificed a great deal for each other, and they both, frankly, fucked up. They’re Twin Idiots, and I’ll love and drag them both equally dammit! With that in mind, Wei Wuxian’s happy ending isn’t just him joining GusuLan sect, novel be fucking damned (yes, I said it!). His home can be in Gusu and Yunmeng. *SLAMS FISTS* Let 👏 Wei 👏 Wuxian 👏 go 👏 home 👏. (Talking to you, my grape guy. Jin Ling is going to show up in Lotus Pier one day with his da-jiu, and you’re just going to have to deal with it.)

★ One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

WEI WUXIAN PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HUG YOUR DIDI. Jiang Cheng has been waiting 16+ years for your hug, and he damn well deserves one, especially since he gave you such a great octopus hug, all limbs and burrowed scrunchy faces. Like, I know, I know, you were distraught, and traumatized, half-beaten to death after three days of intense surgery, then reaped by ten thousand undead souls calling for revenge, but guess who told your favorite (only) angry grape little brother that in the next life, let’s be brothers again okay? GUESS WHO IS LIVING HIS NEXT LIFE??????? Bruh. Chop chop. Hop fucking to it.

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ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 4 years

Note

(1/X) I’ve been casually interested in MBTI for awhile now, but I’ll be honest I still don’t 100% get the distinction between Te and Ti. Definitions? Yes. In practice? Much more questionable. Here’s a concrete example. In some round of DnD asks, you assigned someone sorcerer (I think), in part because they were a dom/aux Te user and you thought a Te user would enjoy reading a handbook cover to cover to get the ins and outs of their class spells, or something like that—don’t know a lot about DnD.

(2/X) This stuck with me, because that’s definitely something I would do, but I’d only ever thought about this from an enneagram perspective and never though of this in terms of Te vs. Ti. To apply this directly to me, I decided to try out League of Legends awhile back with some friends. Friends jumped in to learn as they played, but the game really punishes people without information parity. E.g., everyone knows how long this or that ability’s cool down is, and if you don’t, big disadvantage.

(3/X) So I spent a really long time learning the ins and out of character abilities, read guides, found best strategies, etc., before really allowing myself to play. Like I said I really only thought about this from an ennea perspective, because this is me (5) not wanting to look incompetent and pulling back to try and master something before allowing others to see me learn by failing. But for Te vs. Ti, I could argue this both ways, I feel like?

(4/X) Te, because sure, Te likes to collect practical, external knowledge it can use. Te appreciates the structured, organized approach to breaking down how the game works, understanding the pieces, and putting it together to get better. Like a game plan, but supported by research. But I feel like I can also make an argument for Ti. A Ti user does this because they want complete knowledge of the system and a sufficient understanding of the game is not “perfect,” and therefore not satisfactory.

Te would have said “reading cover to cover” (or mastering the mechanics for the game) goes past the point of diminishing returns and you’ve wasted time getting a perfect understanding of something rather than a good one. So which is right? I know behavior =/= cognition, but these seem conflicting, not just “eh, depends on your specific motivations, not the action.”

------

Hi anon,

I think the biggest thing to consider here is that when I do the D&D asks things I get a lot of questions from different people often who have given me very little information that does not directly translate to a D&D setting (eg, liking video games), and I have set a time limit for myself and them such that I’m just like “well this seems possible and I can justify why in some way.”.I cannot stress how much that is a game based on a shitpost, ie, not that deep, and not remotely suited for learning about typing.

With that said reading the D&D rulebooks cover to cover could very easily be either Ti or Te for three main reasons:

1. It’s really common for Te-auxes to be 5s. Off the top of my head I think INTJs and ISTPs are roughly tied for percentage who are 5s.

2. This is a game with a specific and finite rule set, vs. life in general and as such people are often going to engage with it very differently than they would with life, and Te users specifically might enjoy the optimization options open to someone familiar with a specific and finite rule set. I don’t know what this person’s type was, but if they were an STJ that might have influenced me as well for Liking Rules reasons.

3. People can like things and be interested in them and as such engage with them more than is absolutely necessary to get a sufficient understanding, because they’re having fun doing so.

I’d also add that in what you wrote here I don’t feel like a conflict is mentioned, until the end? Like, in the third and fourth parts you say you could see an argument for either Ti or Te (which is true) but then say you can’t see it for both by the end and I don’t quite know how you got there.

Basically, I’m not sure what you’re asking but either a Ti or Te user could reasonably do this. So could anyone, honestly, for reason 3.

#mbti #Anonymous

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strixa · 4 years

Text

Happy Unsoundiversary, @heir-to-the-diamond-throne!

My gift to you takes four parts of...well, honestly, what started out as a shitpost by me on the Discord channel. I made a half-joke/half-meta about Strand and Thomas Warren being exes, and....well, now here we are with a four-part draft of gods know what. I’m...sorry?

All of the stories are Teen-to-Mature-rated, on the good old AO3 scale. If people like them, I may post on AO3 (I’ll actually need to make an account. Huh.) and...go in depth into various encounters (smut. By which I mean smut.)

Prologue

True to his nature, Howard Strand was a difficult man to locate.

A few false starts and slammed doors of neighbors later, though, the stranger was sure he was climbing the steps to the correct house. It was a gorgeous, sprawling monstrosity of late Victorian architecture, with a wraparound porch and only a used car and a battered basketball hoop in the driveway to remind him that this was 20th century small town America and not the opening of one of Henry James’s horror stories.

“Are you looking for something?”

The stranger was squinting at the windows, trying to gauge if it was movement he saw at some top floor curtains. That must have been why he hadn’t heard the young man rounding the corner. No— a kid, maybe fourteen or fifteen, still at that age when puberty makes nothing about the body or face seem to fit right. It had been the height that threw him off: already this boy was his height, with a grim stillness that made him seem older.

He now knew the answer, but asked anyway: “Is this the Strand residence?”

“Who wants to know?” The boy stared at him with a calm flatness, the blue of his eyes striking in the rest of him— skin tanned by the sun, which had likewise shot some faded gold into his hair. This kid would be brown-haired by 25, the stranger mused, and then realized that he was now in a staredown with someone who probably didn’t even shave yet.

“I’m a friend of Howard Strand’s.” That got him a bemused tilt to the kid’s eyes. “And a colleague.”

For answer, the boy brushed by him, trailing the smell of sweat and mown grass, unlocked the front door, and held it open.

“Thank you,” said the stranger, as he stepped into the cool darkness.

The boy brushed past him, depositing keys, backpack, and jacket on various tables and hooks by the front door. “Dad,” he called out, his voice deeper and more resonant this time, filling the space, “I’ve just let a strange man on our porch inside the house. If he kills us all, it’s my fault.”

“If he kills us all, Richard, wouldn’t that be his fault?” Howard Strand emerged, silhouetted in a door frame. “Good to see you, Warren. Give me a moment with my son, please?” He extended a hand to the boy, who approached with the balky shuffle native to teenagers.

Warren nodded, turning his eyes to the room. He wasn’t sure what he had expected, but he was still awed. There were rows and rows of objects in locked curios, the walls paved even up to the high ceilings with paintings in heavy, ornate frames— one of which may or may not have been a Moreau, another of which he was quite certain was one of Meret Oppenheim’s earlier works. A wooden crate, opened but with the lid replaced, perched by a row of shelves lit by a lamp, even though the sun was high in the late afternoon, spilling through tall windows and heavy drapes.

It was possible Strand had designed this space to impress potential clients, but knowing how secretive the man was, Warren found himself doubting it.

“I want to check on Mom first,” Richard was saying. Out of the corner of his eye Warren saw the kid shift from foot to foot, an incredulous look on his face.

“She’ll be fine. Cheryl is home.”

The boy retreated into an adjacent room, closing the door behind him and, for some reason, looking over his shoulder at Warren as he did so.

“Have a seat,” Strand shut the study door behind Warren, who was busy admiring the rows and rows of books lining the walls. “Can I get you a drink?”

“Not necessary,” replied Warren, settling himself into one of the two seats opposite Strand’s desk. From the next room, he heard an odd click, confusing, until the sounds of a piano— Chopin, Etude Op. 25– flooded the air.

“As in, we have a lot to go over, or you don’t think you’ll be here long?”

“Both. Plus, I’m still riding the high of discovery.”

“So the Beringen connection checked out, then?”

“It has. A rain of lizards, frogs, scorpions, snakes, other venomous animals for several days shortly after the appearance of ‘the tail of a dragon’ in the night sky, which apparently landed with a magnificent explosion.” Warren found himself leaning forward, elbows on knees.

This caused Howard Strand to lean back in his chair, eyes sparkling. Their paths had diverged some time ago, but Warren had to admit that middle age suited the man. He was still, if not more so, striking and distinctive, as though someone had taken a conventionally handsome man and sharpened him.

“And after that?” Strand was saying. Warren tore his eyes away from the man’s face, pausing. Chopin’s arpeggios pried at the edges of his concentration; this was a difficult piece, he knew. The kid playing it was actually pretty damn good.

“You know the timeline isn’t clear.”

“In historical research, timelines never are. But I doubt you came all the way to Summersville, in the middle of nowhere, to hedge about timelines with me.”

“I have nothing but time, Howard. You know that.”

“You and I both know that’s a lie: you have many, many things, and time is one of them. Time is something that I do not have. So give me a convincing argument about why I need to leave the side of my family and travel with you all the way to Asia Minor.”

Strand walked Warren to the front door, plans for future excavations rattling around between the stranger’s ears.

Piano thundered around the two men, louder out here in the hall. Warren idly wondered if it could be heard through the entire house before he stopped, thunderstruck, realizing that the kid in the next room was playing the 5th movement of Etude Op. 25. And if it wasn’t perfect, it was next door to it.

The 5th movement in E minor. The “Wrong Note” etude, fraught with minor seconds. Notoriously hard for someone who didn’t, like Chopin, have perfect pitch. And this kid had it down.

“He’s good,” Warren heard himself blurting out.

“Who, Richard?” The elder Strand smiled as he opened the door. “I tell him it’s simply a matter of practice and study. For once, he agrees with me. I’ll see you in five weeks.”

#Unsoundiversary 2020 #tbtp fandom #the literal best you guys everyone get in here #tbtp fanfic #yes i wrote some #FUCK I ACTUALLY WROTE SOME HOLY SHIT #Richard Strand #Howard Strand #Thomas Warren #or...is it?!#Strand family values #queue’d #tbtp #the black tapes #the black tapes podcast

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stvlti · 4 years

Note

And so I leap, widowed at twenty-seven, From a made Heaven, lest I too be shriven. WIDOW WIDOW WIDOW. I like this line 🍸

Pick a passage (500 words or less) from any fanfic I’ve written and I’ll give you a “DVD commentary”

rules of the ask game | my AO3

oh my god, okay. I really do appreciate you sending this in, I was hoping to get a serious one for this ask meme. but I have to be honest, I have pretty much not looked at that poem since I first wrote it back in 2015, so when I received this ask I was scratching my head asking myself what the fuck was even going on inside my head when I wrote that last line (“lest I too be shriven”) 5 years ago. the subsequent guesswork + digging through multiple online dictionaries / articles it took for me to compile a response... *lies down*

it’s ok though, it was fun trying to piece it back together. so, without further ado: this is False-Eyed Doll, a Death Note poem.

CW: REFERENCES TO SUICIDE & CANON CHARACTER DEATHS

– also, spoilers ahead! turn back if you want to read the poem first –

So the lines you submitted are the last 2 lines of the poem, which was written as a derivative form of the Sonnet, making these 2 lines the final couplet of the Sonnet.

Now the thing about Sonnets is, if you are following the Shakespearean format, the ‘turn’ (volta) occurs right before the final couplet, meaning this couplet is the ‘conclusion’ that follows the ‘twist’ of the poem’s narrative.

Now He has Her slain; oh, will l remain Wilting in His wake, maddened by His maw?

Yet He by own pen dies, man who became Law. And so I leap, widowed at twenty-seven, From a made Heaven, lest I too be shriven.

I wrote this poem as a ‘Misa poem’, and I meant for it to reappropriate certain canon events in Misa’s POV. So the poem’s narrative begins with the thesis of Misa being introduced to Light and his Kira world order (in stanza I), then sets up her relationship with Rem, her "guardian angel" Shinigami with differing opinions on Light (in stanza II) as the antithesis. The main thrust of the narrative concerns itself with Misa’s conflicting position between the two. However in spite of Rem’s warning, Misa chooses Light, because with the Kira crusade she has finally found a tentative foundation she could grow into and reestablish her footing in this world after her own tragedy (“in His embrace I shall rule again”).

That was the trajectory of her life plans. So the ‘twist’, the turn, comes when not only Rem dies but Light, her new foundation, does too ("Yet He by own pen dies, man who became Law”). Of course, this is not a surprise for us the readers, since we know how the story ends in canon, but it’s a huge double whammy (heh, Wammy) to Misa.

So then we arrive at the final couplet, which centres on Misa’s response to this ‘turn’ of events.

And so I leap

“So she leaps”, because this is the only logical conclusion she could come to after losing her “Law” and foundation. She sees no other future ahead with all her plans in ruins, so she climbs to the top of the investigation tower and chooses* death. (This line is a reference to the anime post-credits scene, where it’s implied she commits suicide.)

widowed at twenty-seven

Honestly I’m cringing a bit that the word choice, “widowed”, was what caught your eye. I’m not sure that’s my proudest detail in this poem 😬 I guess I was really leaning into the MisaxLight component there. There’s always been this underlying sense of commitment that Misa has projected onto Light in canon, from her wanting to start that kind of married, domestic life with Light during the Yotsuba arc, to her trying her hand at playing the stay-at-home housewife during the Light-as-L arc (albeit imperfectly) - there are so many aspects in her interactions with Light that simply screams marriage, at least from Misa’s POV. And on a meta level, she definitely promises her mind, body, and soul to Light’s Kira crusade, trading away her lifespan, altering herself to carry the Eyes for Light, and at the core of it, giving her heart over to Light completely. She has effectively married herself not just to Light, but to Kira, too. So to call Light’s death and the loss of everything that comes it a sort of “widowing” is simply the truth. It is Misa’s truth.

And I fought hard to keep the aged “twenty-seven” detail, because I always found it sort of fascinating that Misa qualifies for the 27 Club. She’s a star in the entertainment industry, at this point she’s amassed a successful mini empire with a career spanning modelling, fashion, cosmetics, TV acting, etc., and yet she’s gone too soon at just 27, because she chose* death to escape a tortured existence... (Just like many other legends have before her, who passed away from their own coping mechanisms in addiction and etc.) It’s definitely tragic, but there’s also a sort of dangerous romanticism that certain people associate Club 27 with, which unfortunately I think would be in line with Misa’s worldview too.

(HUGE DISCLAIMER HERE, ok, I do not condone this sort of thinking! This poem is a persona poem! The views represented here do not represent my own. But it is in my opinion the sort of unhealthy ideas Misa would’ve believed in. )

But you know what though. Insisting to keep “widowed at twenty-seven” on this line had its consequences too, because then I had to find a word that rhymed for the last line, which brings us to...

From a made Heaven, lest I too be shriven

Bro, this line gave me soooo much trouble trying to piece back together the thought process behind it. The front part is pretty self-explanatory, it’s a “made Heaven” because Kira’s empire is just made by one man claiming to be God. It’s an artificial Heaven, not a real one. But dang, “shriven”???

2015!me was being too clever for my own good. Forget all the wack shit I was shitposting in the fandom about, this is the thing that’s ultimately come back to bite me in the ass, isn’t it

Ok but we’re here now, and we gotta finish this ‘DVD commentary’, so let’s get into it. Obviously I was trying to keep up the whole motif of God and Heaven and religion, so I went looking for a word that would fit the theme. Except, to be completely honest, I was raised irreligious, so when I chose the word “shriven” I kinda just chose it because (1) it sounded cool; (2) it rhymes. I don’t have any emotional connection to the word and I certainly don’t have a nuanced grasp of its meaning, which, really bad form of me as a poet. I don’t do that anymore. (And it’s probably the reason why I kept this in the fandom corners and never shared it in class back then 😭 I was hoping I wouldn’t be quizzed on this lmaooo)

But what I do know, is that “shriven” means to confess and receive penance for one’s sins. And I was aiming for meta here - because there is the Catholic concept of punishment and repentance for one’s wrongdoings, but there is also the secular, judicial concept of punishment and reform for one’s crimes. And, okay, I was making some assumptions* here, i.e. even without her memories Misa could guess something happened to Light, and that something had to do with the Kira case. She’s a bottle blonde, but she’s not dumb dumb, so she could’ve reasonably made an educated guess. So then, “lest I too be shriven”: in a way, Misa is choosing* suicide in fear of being “shriven” by the criminal justice system much the same way they’ve done Light in. And even without the judicial component, she could (and logically, should) be wary of the general persecution and social stigma that comes with being involved in a high-profile criminal investigation like this. (Because it wasn’t just any other criminal, it was Kira, the world’s most wanted killer and mass-murderer, and there’s still plenty of people left in the world with a bone to pick with Kira’s ideology, methods, and many more left with a vendetta for the loved ones Kira has taken away from them.) So this line sets up a nice subtle dichotomy, one that flips the script, because now she’s not the one who passes ‘divine’ judgement, delivers punishments and ‘shrives’ the criminals by Kira’s side, now she’s ‘fallen from grace’ (so to speak) from their 'made Heaven’ and she’s the one running away from being delivered justice and penance.

Pretty cool, right? But honestly, if I had a chance to write this poem again I would not do this to myself ( T д T ) The cool rhyme scheme is not worth all this mental gymnastics just to get at the idea I was trying to communicate ( T _ T )

(*) Note:

I kept talking about Misa “choosing” death, but the very idea itself is also a bit of an assumption on my part. Sure, at face value we have no reason to suspect it’s not an act she chose to commit of her volition. But, there’s also been talk about whether her choosing to commit suicide at 27 is simply a result of her shortened lifespan after her having traded her remaining years away twice. Like it was simply time’s up for her at 27, and she had to die one way or another. Another consideration is the fact that Ryuk has stated all users of Death Note are cursed with an unhappy life / end eventually. There’s no telling whether that’s another contributing factor to Misa’s suicide, too. But for this poem and the sake of its concentrated narrative focus, I’ve chosen to go with the interpretation that Misa chose to commit suicide of her own accord. That bit of commentary on “lest I too be shriven” also subscribes to the particular school of interpretations / headcanons that Misa possessed far more cognizance than we expect throughout the whole investigation and story of Death Note. Like I said, she’s a bottle blonde, but she’s not dumb dumb. I like the fanon that’s been gaining popularity in recent years, the idea that Misa is plenty capable and cunning for a normal civilian and young entrepreneur. She just seems dumb next to literal geniuses.

#ask meme #answered #midi #fantomn #long post #dang this one really spun out of control it's WAY too long #dn meta: Misa Amane #this one QUALIFIES ok i start going into fandom meta like halfway through *sweats* really though if any of you like Misa GO read cas's meta

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kyrianne · 5 years

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Tag Game!

Rules: Answer seventeen questions and tag seventeen people you wanna get to know better

Tagged by @amarits who i literally am engaged to but maybe she will learn some previously-buried secrets

Nickname: Most used one is Ky.

Zodiac sign: Gemini sun/Scorpio moon/Capricorn rising

Height: 6′

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw

Last thing I googled: “Travis McElroy” to look up references for my horrible art

Song stuck in my head: “Hey Jude” right now, because my last uber driver was named Jude

Following: 1163 (probably an even split between fandom blogs and aesthetic blogs)

Followers: 1134 (why are you still here even, i’m a shitpost gremlin)

Amount of sleep I get: 9ish at night, and then inevitably 2-3 more hours in the afternoon when I nap because I have hypersomnia issues :’)

Lucky number: 12 (it was my 5th grade class number and ever since then it is the best one)

Dream job: at this point I don’t even know what this question MEANS, since I’ve applied for disability and don’t have the energy or stamina to really work anymore. Comic artist, but not like industry??? just makin my own art and comics at my pace and someone pays me about it???

Wearing: black socks with gray toes, black sweats with a moon cycle graphic printed in white on the left leg, a Boston Women’s March tshirt, a white and blue striped undershirt, underwear, blue glasses, a black ring, and a piece of gauze taped to my arm. This is an abnormal amount of clothing for my usual stay at home life, which is: underwear, glasses, ring. It’s been getting colder though and I just got back from a doctor’s appointment so my clothing is still on my body

Favorite song: This is impossible -- actually just kidding it’s Toxic by Britney Spears. I listen to sooo much stuff though

Instruments: Once upon a time ago, I played alto sax and piano. I never learned how to read sheet music though. I also have been known to pluck on a ukulele from time to time.

Random fact: The very first thing said by any person I have ever met IRL after knowing online: “[optional expletive], you’re tall!!”

Aesthetics: foggy morning forests, empty mountain roads, stoic creatures, silly creatures, a brand new set of colored pencils, black ink on white paper, gothic cathedral architecture, miniature free libraries, holiday decor for any holiday, red poppies, a made bed with a cat in the center of it, late afternoon naps, miniatures of mundane things, comics of all kinds, Old World spirituality I’m not tagging anyone but the person who reads this and wants to do it. That might include you!!!!

#about me #man idk i could go on for ages about aesthetics but i gotta stop somehwere #amarits

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dulcetash · 5 years

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I’ve been liking and reblogging Little Women posts for a few days, ranging from Introspective to Shitpost, because the new Gerwig adaptation is so good and so thought-provoking. I snuck off to re-watch it in the theater the other day, just so I could study and think on it some more.

There is a lot of discourse on Jo’s rejection of Laurie’s proposal (there has been for 150 years), and most of it centers on the nature of platonic vs. romantic love and, under today’s more progressive lens, Jo’s (and Alcott’s) sexuality and/or gender identity.

A REALLY INTERESTING thing this adaptation did, though, was highlight Jo’s wish to never marry, period. Dialogue is lifted straight from the book: “I like my freedom too well... you’d hate my scribbling...” Jo knows, as many little women know deep down but can’t articulate (because society hasn’t given them the words), that to marry is to give up any ambition or personal fulfillment that doesn’t fall neatly in line with patriarchal domestic expectations.

In the 1860s, societal mores effected this oppression in a general, institutional, largely unexamined way (I once had a professor assert that Alcott saw Meg as the womanly ideal. If that is true, then the way she infantalized her once she was married is a wrenching, ugly example of internalized misogyny). In the 2010s, after a few waves of feminism have put forth the (often fictional) idea that Women Can Have It All, this oppression comes more directly, more personally, from inside the house.

This piece on Longreads is goddamn powerful. I wonder what Alcott would say about it. She never married.

What Gerwig did with Bhaer was so brilliant. The tacked-on, forced necessity of him was made clear (yet more palatable by choosing someone young and hot). The ambiguity of did-they-or-didn’t-they is masterful. In addition to the color and lighting of the shifting scenes, which has been well-analyzed elsewhere, compare the acting, expressions, and body-language with the actual dialogue. The characters are all longing looks, delighted excitement, impassioned tone, yet the actual words are, “oh, it’s you.” “Who is this guy?” “Come see me if you want to.” “I doubt I will.” “You love him.” “What? No, I don’t.” “He makes you happy.” “What?”

There are multiple, layered interpretations, and it’s delicious. There’s plenty of space to find the angle that makes you happy and let it be truth, even as another interpretation is equally true. Great art allows dynamism between the artist and the reader/viewer.

In light of the Longreads essay, I find comfort in Gerwig’s portrayal of Bhaer. Even though he doesn’t like some of Jo’s work, he likes her passion for it very much (her ink-stained fingers, oooh yeah). When she rages at his criticism, he accepts it calmly, affirming her identity as a writer and making no such claim for himself. She condemns him to obscurity, and he accepts that as a matter of course, content to enjoy the glow of her own rising star, supporting her in the ways he knows how, realizing that he is insufficient to all her needs.

Our modern writer married a Mr. Dashwood, the editor. If Jo is to marry, I’m glad she married Professor Bhaer instead.

Little Women with non-domestic ambitions, find you a Bhaer. They aren’t all fictional, but you have to look carefully. Leave the Lauries unless, like Amy, you’re willing and clever enough to play by the patriarchy’s rules while min-maxing for the win. Steer clear of the Dashwoods. It’s hard, because they’re everywhere, and they’re often disguised as John Brooke.

#little women #little women 2019 #writing #feminism #Sari Botton #Longreads #greta gerwig #jo march #friedrich bhaer

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alexconfusion · 5 years

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1-100 please (I’m serious... or at least do like 20 of em. The first twenty. But I’d prefer them all)

Is this a challenge

1 Middle Name- Katherine

2 Age- 13 (yah I know I’m a baby blah blah blah shut up guys djskdjjd)

3 Birthday- May 8, 2006 (8:29am, to be exact)

4 Zodiac- sun: Taurus moon: Virgo, I believe

5 Fav Color- blue is my aesthetic but purple is my fav

6 My Lucky Number- five

7 Pets- two guinea pigs (ginny and lily), two dogs (bailey and maya) [i will provide pics if you want]

8 Where I’m From- Massachusetts

9 Height- 5’1

10 Shoe Size- eight

11 How Many Pairs of Shoes I Own- three

12 My Last Dream- Shane Dawson fixed my family issues and helped me come out to them (it was awesome, 10/10 would do again)

13 My Talents- piano (I have soundcloud check it out if u want), writing

14 Am I Psychic- HELL YEAH I AM shoot me an ask if u wanna know more cuz it’s kind of a long story (ok maybe not actually psychic but it’s a fun story)

15 Favorite Song- Amnesia - 5sos (it makes me cry every time and I don’t even care)

16 Favorite Movie- Into the Spider-Verse

17 My Ideal Partner - idk u tell me

18 Do I Want Kids?- potentially, but if I did I would adopt

19 Do I Want a Church Wedding- nah they look boring. I was part of the wedding party for my cousins wedding and it was absolute torture

20 Am I Religious- not really

21 Have I Ever Been to the Hospital- yeah, I was seven and stepped on glass at the beach (huge gash, kinda gorey, wouldn’t reccomend) anyways I didn’t know I cut my foot open at first and walked around the beach and a fuck ton of sand got in it (I had a very rough summer)

22 Have I Ever Been in Trouble With the Law- fuck no who do you think I am??

23 Have I Met any Celebrities- nope

24 Baths or Showers- showers duh, they’re good for so many things: crying, hair washing, pretending you’re standing in the rain,

25 What Color Socks am I Wearing- striped gray with blue owls (yes they are lit)

26 Have I Ever Been Famous- uh no

27 Would I Like to be a Celebrity?- sometimes I think it would be cool because if I make a lot of money I could help a lot of people, but usually no because having privacy is important to me

28 What Type of Music do I like- pretty much anything but acoustic versions have always had a special place in my heart

29 Have I Ever Been Skinny Dipping?- no gross

30 How Many Pillows do I Sleep With- one on each end of the bed so I can flip upside down and still have a pillow

31 What Position do I Sleep in-

(It’s comfy)

32 How Big is My House- two main floors, attic, basement

33 What do I Have for Breakfast- usually nothing, either because I slept through the normal breakfast time or because I didn’t have time to eat

34 Have I Ever Fired a Gun- no

35 Have I Ever Tried Archery?- Hell yeah I did, summer camp was a wild time almost shot someone in the face

36 Fav Clean Word- twilight

37 Fav Swear Word- fuck

38 Longest I’ve Ever Went Without Sleep- forty eight hours (those were two of the best days of my life btw)

39 Do I Have Any Scars- yeah

40 Have I Ever Had a Secret Admirer- nope but I wish

41 Am I a Good Liar- fantastic, actually

42 Am I a Good Judge of Character- what,, what does this mean??

43 Can I do Any Accents- I can do a really terrible British accent but nobody likes it

44 Do I Have a Strong Accent- nope

45 What is my Favorite Accent- Australian

46 What is my personality type- on the Myers Briggs test I’m an Adventurer (it’s creepily spot on, I highly recommend taking it)

47 My Most Expensive Piece of Clothing- Are vans clothing? If so my blue high top vans that I fucking adore. If not, probably my adidas shorts or something

48 Can I Curl My Tongue- I can do the classic fold in half one and the three leaf clover. look it up, it’s cool as hell

49 Am I am Innie or an Outie- innie

50 Right or Left Handed- right, but I’m ambidextrous when playing golf and I play lacross lefty

51 Am I Scared of Spiders- a little, not a phobia

52 Favorite Food- pears or frozen yogurt

53 Favorite Foreign Food- sushi

54 Am I a Clean or Messy Person- tbh it fluctuates but mostly clean. Like I myself am clean but my room is a wreck yknow

55 Most Used Phrase- “oh shit”

56 Most Used Word- oof

57 How Long do I Take to Get Ready- ten minutes, fifteen tops and five minimum

58 Do I Have an Ego- I don’t think so?

59 Do I Suck or Bite Lolipops- bite

60 Do I Talk to Myself- sometimes, it’s usually just strings of curse words

61 Do I Sing to Myself- yeah on occasion

62 Am I a Good Singer- no but my friends seem to think so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

63 Biggest Fear- losing everyone I care about/everyone I care about hating me

64 Am I a Gossip?- only if it’s not something serious and only to my closest friend

65 Best Dramatic Movie I’ve Seen- schindlers list, haven’t seen the whole thing (I’m kinda scared to) but it looks incredible even though it’s so horrific

66 Do I Like Long or Short Hair- I don’t really care, but I do kind of like longer hair on other people (i.e I like girls) (yes girls with short hair are awesome too but long/medium length hair is just.. yeah.)

67 Can I Name all 50 Stares of America- I could when I was 8 but now I can only list like 10

68 Favorite School Subject- English

69 (haha) Extrovert or Introvert- introvert

70 Have I Ever Been Scuba Diving- no and I don��t think I’d want to

71 What Makes Me Nervous- talking to people I don’t know

72 Am I Scared Of The Dark- not really. unless I like hear a noise and start imagining all the possible causes of the noise and freak myself out

73 Do I Correct People When They Make Mistakes- yeah sometimes, but I try to do it as nicely as I can (unless I don’t like the person *cough* my brother *cough*)

74 Am I Ticklish- yes. very.

75 Have I Ever Started a Rumor- no, but people thought I did and that was a whole mess

76 Have I Ever Been in a Position of Authority- I mean I was a captain when we played kickball in gym (does that count)

77 Have I Ever Drank Underage- nope, and I don’t intent to

78 Have I Ever Done Drugs- nope, and I don’t intend to

79 Who Was My First Real Crush- olivia, fifth grade. I pretended I had a crush on the guy next to her so I could stare at her and pretend I was looking at him

80 How Many Piercings Do I Have- none

81 Can I Roll My Rs- no matter how hard I try I can never seem to get the hang of it. and I’ve tried, believe me, I sound like an idiot every time but I still try

82 How Fast Can I Type- 135 wpm

83 How Fast Can I Run- Moderately fast, but not for very long

84 What Color is My Hair- dirty blonde

85 What Color Are My Eyes- they switch between gray, green, and blue, but they’re mostly a combination of all three with green being the most noticeable (I ask people this question a lot and they usually say blue or green)

86 What am I Allergic to- nothing I’m invincible.

87 Do I Keep a Journal- yup, eight years and counting. fun fact my first entry ever was a full two and a half pages about dolphin facts, complete with a picture

88 What do My Parents do- my moms a vet, idk what my dad does (it’s something with pharmaceuticals I think)

89 Do I Like My Age- eh on the one hand I can say I’m a teen but on the other people are like “omg!!! babey???? ur a babey omfg..”

90 What Makes Me Angry- when people are condescending or hypocritical

91 Do I Like My Name- I hate my first name (irl it’s not alex but I’ll probably end up changing it) and I hate my last name (long story) but I kinda like my middle name cuz it reminds me of Six

92 Have I Thought if Baby Names, if so What Are They- idk I’d probably name them after my friends (i.e hailey, lander, flan, drew, finn, that’s about it)

93 Do I Want a Boy or Girl For a Child- first of all when did I say I wanted a child and second of all I don’t care

94 What Are My Strengths- shitposts

95 What Are My Weaknesses- dealing with emotions, controlling anger, handling criticism, there are definitely others but I’m tired okay

96 How Did I Get My Name- first name: bible, middle name: my great grandmother, last name: my dad

97 Were My Ancestors Royalty- not that I know of

98 Do I Have Any Scars- see #39

99 What Color is My Bedspread- I don’t have one but my sheet is dark blue

100 What Color is My Room- a light blue teal-ish color

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allthefilmsiveseenforfree · 6 years

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The Favourite

If you like your period pieces stuffy and strait-laced, The Favourite is not for you. Or maybe it is and you can start to like more interesting period pieces. You’ve probably heard the name of this Oscar-favorite and you may have even seen the trailer, but somehow it feels like there’s still a lot of mystery about what this one is ABOUT. Is it being overly cryptic in order to perform a bait and switch? Or is it simply one of those art movies where not a lot happens, but in wigs and corsets? Well...

More the former than the latter. What appears to be a send-up of courtly life during the reign of Queen Anne (1702-1707) turns into, essentially, a love triangle drama, complete with backstabbing, cheating, manipulating, power playing, and the use of my new favorite phrase, “cunt-struck.”

Queen Anne (Olivia Colman) is in ill health, and trusts her advisor and secret lover, Lady Sarah (Rachel Weisz) to help keep the country running in her stead. But when Sarah’s cousin Abigail (Emma Stone) arrives at the palace and endears herself to the Queen, Sarah realizes a usurper is attempting to upend her relationship with the Queen. From there, the film is a series of power plays of these two ambitious and cutthroat women, with the mercurial Queen watching from the sidelines.

Some thoughts:

The three women circling each other like wolves snapping and bickering to be the alpha are the focus, and rightly so. After so many dry, dreadful political thrillers all about men sitting at board room tables or wearing powdered wigs and sending troops to war, it’s refreshing to see the girls as the focus for a change.

Plus, all three actresses are powerhouses. This is probably the most interesting I’ve ever seen Emma Stone, and Olivia Colman plays Anne perfectly. She’s fickle, she’s emotional, she faints to get out of obligations - she’s basically the equivalent of a shitposting Twitter millenial except she’s actually in charge of things. But there’s a deep sadness within her, mostly due to her loss of 17 children. She longs for true human connection and companionship, but can never trust those around her to truly love her. It’s an old story, but one that’s well told and flawlessly executed by Colman here.

The ending is so weird as to be almost unpleasant. But I think the flames crackling in the background are meant to be the clue. Neither Abigail nor the Queen are getting precisely the arrangement they would like - and both realize what they have been forced to lose in the process. Abigail’s autonomy, and the Queen’s one faithful and honest human connection.

I am so gay for Rachel Weisz and the incredible lesbian year she’s having in 2018. Her shooting/riding outfit alone is enough to make my knees weak. Between this and Disobedience, she can be the grand marshal of next year’s Pride.

The music is so incredible. Each piece adds a richness not only to the absurd over-the-top wealth of court, but to each character’s inner thoughts and feelings.

Yorgos Lanthimos is probably a pretty weird dude, but his direction here is breathtaking. He vacillates between intimate closeups and wide, fish-eye angles, all to portray a sense of unreality and unease around court and the machinations of Abigail and Sarah. It’s undeniably effective, and creates a sort of parallel universe for us commoners to watch the rich and powerful fight and fuck. I am very eager to watch his previous films as a result of this experience.

If you can handle a little weird and a little vulgar, DEFINITELY check out The Favourite. It’s darkly funny while also retaining a core of unfulfilled sadness, and that’s just the kind of tone I wish more historical pieces would take because life is pretty damn funny, weird, and sad.

#118in2018 #the favourite #the favourite review #Rachel Weisz #emma stone #olivia colman #yorgos lanthimos #movie reviews #film reviews

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revivedandabandonedkids · 5 years

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The Portrait of Afuro Terumi (06~10)

! Double Gods

! Unfinished

[Previous]

06.

What's an appropriate response upon being addressed by a literal painting?

Among countless of possible eloquent answers, Hiroto selects the simple and to-the-point “What the fuck?”

Afuro Terumi- the portrait (Don’t call it by a name. Calling it by a name dignifies it as a consciousness.) seems unfazed. “I guess the more correct term would be that I am the curse.”

It’s beginning to feel too much like a fever dream so Hiroto backs out of the room and calmly goes back to his room where he sleeps for a good twelve hours.

07.

Hiroto knows what’s in the room. It’s a dusty old painting that talks.

Or maybe he doesn’t know what’s in the room and his memories of the previous afternoon are just the result of his delusions.

There’s only one way to be sure.

Before he can psyche himself out, Hiroto marches up to the room again, and barely gives the knob a twist before it springs open.

“You’re back.” Afuro Terumi greets him.

Hiroto stiffens. Fuck. So it was real. He conversed with a painting, which is the opposite of what Haizaki warned him about, and now he’s probably cursed, but he can’t even tell Haizaki about it because he doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“You act like you knew I was coming.” Hiroto asks cautiously. “Did you know I was coming?”

“I had an idea.” Afuro Terumi’s eyes gleam mysteriously. “It has something to do with the curse, actually.”

“Right. The curse, because that’s definitely a thing that’s… what? Placed upon me?” Hiroto rubs his forehead, hoping that if he willed it hard enough, his migraine would disappear.

“More or less.” Afuro Terumi hums vaguely, concealing any and all sorts of emotion form his tonal voice. “Leaning towards more at the moment.”

“Are you going to explain yourself at some point?” Hiroto sighs.

“I don’t know where to start!” Afuro Terumi only smiles cheerfully. “Why don’t you ask me questions, and I’ll do my best to answer them?”

“Sure.” Hiroto deadpans. “Why not. I don’t suppose you’d like a nice cup of earl grey with that as well.”

“I have my own beverage.” Afuro Terumi gives the wine glass a whirl. The liquid swishes but doesn’t spill. “Even though I can’t actually drink it, since it’s not substantial.”

“Okay.” says Hiroto. “Okay.” he says it again, just to reassure himself. “First question.” His voice sounds a little scratchy. “Are you male? Female? Neither? Little bit of both?”

Afuro Terumi blinks, a slip of confusion seeping out from the painting’s mask. “Seriously? Of all the more pressing matters, that’s your first question?”

Hiroto frowns. “It’s not like I have a limited amount of questions.” he grumbles. “I just… don’t know what to refer you as in my head.”

“Ah. You think about me often?” Afuro Terumi’s face brightens marginally. “That’s very sweet of you.”

Don’t react. Don’t react, Hiroto. “Just answer the question.”

“I am a guy, if you’ll take my word for it.” Something akin to amusement dances in Afuro Terumi’s languidly musical voice. “Or do you want actual proof with that?”

All the blood in his system rushes up to Hiroto’s cheeks, and he curses at himself for being so easy to play. “If it’s not a birth certificate you’re showing me, I’m leaving.”

“You have no sense of humor.”

“You have a twisted sense of humor.”

Afuro Terumi laughs, and it’s a very boyish laugh. “Next question?”

Hiroto points to the plaque underneath his frame. “It says here that your name is Afuro Terumi. Is it?” he asks. “Just to be clear, though. Even if it isn’t, that’s how I’m going to call you for the rest of my life.”

“So you plan on spending the rest of your life with me?”

“Would it kill you to give a clear answer on the first try?”

“It wouldn’t.” he chirps joyously. “It’s just been a long time since I’ve had the chance to converse with other people. Let me have my fun.” He tilts his head slightly to the right. “But yes. That is my name.”

“Afuro.” Hiroto tests it out on his tongue for the first time. It rolls oddly.

“At your service.” Afuro replies smoothly. “But aren’t you going to offer me your name?”

Hiroto makes a face. “Would that potentially endanger my existence?” He’s read a lot of stories about how never to reveal one’s true names to mythical folk. He’s not sure if Afuro applies, but better safe than sorry goes the saying.

Afuro seems to consider about it. Then unsurprisingly, delivers an utterly disappointing answer. “As far as I’m concerned, your existence is already endangered, so you needn’t worry.”

“That’s comforting.” Hiroto mutters under his breath, but obviously there’s no point in arguing, so in a louder voice he says. “Kira Hiroto. What’s the deal about me being cursed and my existence endangered?”

Afuro clicks his tongue thoughtfully. “How do I explain this?” he sets his wine glass down and links his fingers together. “I would start with telling you to stay away if you cherish your life but for a variety of reasons, I will not waste my breath on that speech."

Hiroto stares at him, unimpressed. “That explains absolutely nothing.”

Afuro rolls his bottom lips between his teeth. “I guess there’s no easy way to put this, so listen clearly, Hiroto-kun.” Hiroto’s eyes twitch at the overly friendly title, but doesn’t comment.

Afuro is deliberate and clear when he talks, like every syllable holds a weight. "The moment you entered this room, you're trapped. Not physically. You're able to leave this room at any time, but you'll always always inevitably feel the urge to come back. And when it comes, you won't be able to resist it. That's how my curse works."

Hiroto's lips twitch. "That doesn't sound too bad."

"Right. I suppose I forgot to mention the fact that every time you come in here, I suck a bit of your life away."

"You what?"

08.

Afuro falls silent again. He seems to be struggling with how he should arrange his words. It's not a good sign when talking to someone about a very grave and very serious problem, Hiroto should know. He is raised as a corporation heir.

But it's no use ushering Afuro to hurry up either, so he takes a seat on the dusty floor and waits with an erratic anxiety spiking in his arteries.

"How old do you think I look?" Afuro asks after moments of hesitation.

"At a time like this? Really?"

Afuro stares insistently. A hard line sets on his jaw.

Hiroto sighs defeatedly. "I don't know, okay? I'm not some renowned… art inspector. I just know that you're old."

Afuro shakes his head. "My painting is old, but me myself as Afuro Terumi, I'm only in my teens."

"You lost me."

"Time doesn't really work like that for me. When I'm alone, it's like I cease to exist." Afuro explains, resting his chin on his left palm, where he's propped his elbow on a raised leg. "I'm only alive when life approaches me, and that's because I draw the life from living beings. That's why they call me a curse."

"Haizaki said a bunch of people have died here before."

"Your friend is right." Afuro shrugs. "I did that. I mean, their lives were sucked dry, not that I jumped out the picture and shagged them with a dagger."

"You can do that?"

"No. I'm trapped between these four pieces of wood." He gestures at the beautifully carved frame walling up the canvas. "It's a very small world."

09.

"Your life is on the line here. By entering this room twice, you've already greatly sabotaged your chances of surviving. If you keep this up, you will die. It doesn't matter to me one way or another, but if you value living, please refrain yourself from coming again."

"You sure are full of yourself. So you have a pretty face, you're not that irresistible." Hiroto rolls his eyes.

Afuro simply laughs, and bids him goodbye.

10.

Despite being informed directly by the curse's source, Hiroto hasn't been completely convinced about said curse until his feet carries him to the same door three days in a row without thought.

-TBC

I am in a post new series haze so like... I really don’t have that much motivation for Ina Eleven atm oops. (If anyone’s curious, current obsession is Hidamari ga Kikoeru by Fumino Yuki. Slow burn romance. Big rec. Ongoing.)

Also I’m starting year three of high school, so that means I’m about to become very very busy. Activity is going to be undoubtedly wonky. Still, stick around if you’d like. I might drop by with a shitpost of fic once in a while.

For the time being, I await part 3 of TPOAT with you.

Hang in there buddies, and remember to stay hydrated.

#Inazuma Eleven #inazuma eleven orion #My writing #Kira Hiroto #Afuro Terumi #this has been a psa from a currently sick person #i've been drinking so much water guys

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mollymockiing · 5 years

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Cadcly beetch

meme.

let me love u assholes

*✶｡ @cadcly .ﾟ☆ﾟ. literally always accepting ! *✶｡

MY OPINION ON;

CHARACTER IN GENERAL: I was not prepared for how thoroughly Caduceus Clay would Kool Aid Man his way into my cold, dead, desiccated heart, but he did. Not easily, either. I was fucking devastated by Molly’s death, and I wasn’t sad about losing him, I was defiant. Like, I deadass refused to accept that shit, and it almost felt like a challenge to even accept Tal’s new character. But this asshole rabbit punched me in the emotions (right in the cockles of my heart, and even in the sub-cockle area), and I was fucking smitten.

HOW THEY PLAY THEM: JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST, LET ME HAVE A FUCKING MOMENT. I’ve not been writing for very long, but I’ve written a fuck ton, on a fuck ton of muses, and in a fuck ton of fandoms. I do not think I have ever been that shitpost about “my muse sees your muse and goes I WANT THAT ONE.” But that was exactly what happened with you?? I’m going to be honest, I don’t get intimidated easily. It just doesn’t cross my mind to be. If I want to write with someone, I’ll hit them up, it isn’t fucking prom. But holy shit, did it feel like that when I stumbled into your IMs apologizing for being a slow loras piece of marsupial shit. I remember telling you how excited I was that you liked my starter call then apologized profusely for how long it would take me to get shit to you, and you were so ganbatte :fist emoji: and so sweet to my dumbass from jumpstreet that I ended up getting so hype to write with u I slammed something out that night. And there was Molly, fucking already fucking sprung like a real scrub over Caduceus, telling him he smells like the light of the stars or some shit. And then it was all downhill from there.

But for how much my muse adored yours immediately, you always played Cad so sweetly with Molly, and that destroyed me. The way you write Caduceus is nothing less than phenomenal (I’ll get to more on why that is later, this is an all day event, fucker). I always thought Caduceus was an unusual complement to Molly, with both of them exhibiting very different personality traits, but sharing a very important core of morals. But that was never a dynamic that I ever wanted to try to push on you or expect from you. It just sort of bloomed in this beautifully organic symbiosis between them, and that’s so fucking dope I honestly can’t get over it. I love when muses get together based on pure fucking chemistry, and these assholes did it. AND THEY DIDNT EVEN SHIP AT FIRST. THEY WERE JUST … the most wholesome fucking bromance, holding hands under the table and twining tails to keep track of each other in the dark like wot in tarnation in this. And then they got nasti.

I’m highly particular about portrayals. I respect everyone’s writing, but I won’t lie, there are some people whose shit just resonates with me and those are the ones I crave to write with. The level of detail, the exploration, the logic of their backstory and how that comes to inform who they are, and the ability of that writer to manifest the nuances of that shit in their writing …. I analyze the shit out of people’s writing. And yours blows me away with an invariable systematicity, from your lengthy, beautifully composed headcanons to the way you craft his reactions to Molly and Fjord in little situations. You allow him this vulnerability that destroys me, and this crystalline innocence, and you strike this really extraordinary balance of that low INT/high WIS that I adore? It’s one of my favorite personality tropes, and it’s not always a simple one to portray, but you crush it. Every time.

There’s a rare depth of his emotional makeup that you write. And the way you introduce that emotion, that journey to how Caduceus arrives at that sensation or sentiment always keeps me rapt. Like, even the way you color the way he blushes and why is always a new punch in the gut. And this asshole blushes a lot. You have a way of writing that brings a real profundity to even mundane things, and that’s a magic that not a lot of people posses.

AND IT DOESNT FUCKING HELP THAT YOU WRITE SO MAGNIFICENTLY THAT IT MAKES ME WANT TO SUPLEX MY OWN ASS BECAUSE I PHYSICALLY CANNOT DEAL WITH THE AESTHETIC ARREST OF YOUR WRITING. LIKE. I love challenges. I love people who challenge me to fucking up my shit, and you inspire me to write, and to want to fucking get better. Like I stare and study at the shit you write and I’m like how did this dick pull this out his ass like that. GET GOOD, MINT YOU LITERARY TROGLODYTE, YOU HEAVING, HUMPING HUNK OF SHIT, YOU GOTTA UP YOUR GAME FOR MOLLY’S BOYFRIEND.

And I fucking love the way you write him, wow, the end.

THE MUN: Sometimes I think of you and go, ‘this asshole has no right.’ But like, in a good way. Like I’d Beau punch you in the arm to display my confused frustration at how incredible you are? Like, I can talk about how incredibly talented you are (your art and your cosplay get me right in the kokoro), but also I really admire the fuck out of you as a person. When you told me you were an old man, believe me I’ve heard that one before. You’re an old soul. In the most brilliant way possible.

Part of the reason that I love RP so much is that for me it’s an exercise in understanding the human condition. I’ve studied and worked as a social scientist, and I am greatly attuned to learning about people and their characters based on the way they write. I’m sure you’ve heard that fucking classic adage “write what you know” but in all actually most people can only write what they know. Because it’s within the scope of our understanding. Muses always echo in some way an aspect of their mun. And it always spoke well to me of the integrity and the reason Cad always displayed. Turns out that’s the shit that really resonated with you. Turns out that’s shit i really admire about you and Cad both.

Emotional insight like that isn’t something a person just knows. It takes a lot of reflection and consideration and contemplation and meditation and observation and imagination to understand that shit, much less bring it to light in the context of fleshing out a character in a way that augments and enhances them. And in a way that makes sense. That’s really the core of what I love about your writing and interpretation. You write integrity with the insight of someone who is determined to embody it. And that’s admirable. And the level of intricate creativity you always bring is endlessly fascinating.

You’re a good fucking person. You’re an extraordinarily uncommon sort of person. And I count it as a fucking windfall that I get to fraternize with your ass and your heart-destroying firbolg.

DO I;

FOLLOW THEM: bro yesRP WITH THEM: CRIES BRO YESWANT TO RP WITH THEM: dude, I would write with you on any of your muses ever, with any of my muses. Honestly, I’d follow your ass on any muse you write even if we don’t write, just to watch you fucking craft them. That’s how much I admire and respect your ass.SHIP THEIR CHARACTER WITH MINE: It’s the Titanic of my emotional loins

WHAT IS MY;

OVERALL OPINION: Literally, if you’re not crying about Seb or Seb’s Cad, have you really fucking lived today?

**note: mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty.

#cadcly #; meme reply #hey this got long as balls #guess who's a words of affirmation kind of bitch #it's me #did i say the same thing 20 times but in different ways?#good then u wont forget it #long post #look when i admire someone i like for them to know how acutely they are adored #this was a lot of rambling because i am admittedly on like two hours of sleep #but i mean every fucking meandering compliment #in case you're wondering

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