#but she'd be miserable with a new addition and she would make their life miserable too so

[hirazuki]

Between my dog (two gates, one for either entry of the kitchen), my cat (a gate around a fake plant she was obsessed with chewing bits off of and swallowing), my sister's dog (one gate for my sister's room where he hung out when no one was home because there was nothing there that he could jump up on, one gate for each of our bathrooms because he liked eating cat poop, and one gate around the couch because even when supervised he'd try to take running jumps onto it), and my sister's cat (a gate around a majesty palm that she would just not leave alone), we had eight gates in our 1000 sq ft. apartment. That's one gate more than Gondolin.

As of today, we have none, and it feels so weird.

[amaranthhiding]

Regarding Sam

by Hiding Amaranth

Words: 7,292 (finished) Rating: Teen Relationships: Rowena/Sam, Rowena & Amnesiac Dean

Tags: Canon Universe, Episode 12x11, Missing Scenes, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Life-or-Death Stakes, Magic, Witches, Rowena Realizes She Cares, Pre-Relationship, Sam Being a Prisoner, Amnesiac Dean Being Chaotic, Humor, Soft Rowena, Rowena Teaching Herself to Drive a Car to Save Sam

Point-of-View Characters: Rowena

Summary: When they hear Sam's blood-curdling scream over the phone, Rowena is far more affected than she thought possible. She has to make up her mind whether or not to turn her back on the Winchesters in their dire need—and how far exactly she'll go to save them. (Or my version of what happened in episode 12x11 between Sam's scream and the moment we see Dean wake up in the Impala, plus two additional new scenes at other blank spaces where the episode faded to black. And all of that from Rowena's point of view!)

Written for the Sam Winchester Rare Ships Week 2023 Day 6: "Missing Scene / Episode Tag" hosted by @spnrareships

Banner created by the author Read Regarding Sam on AO3

If you'd like to be added/removed from my taglist for Samwena and/or other SPN content, let me know in a reblog, reply, or personal message. :) @spnrarepairbunker @fanficlounge @panthera-dei @samsrowena Excerpt under the cut

"Age nunc intellectum," Catriona's lilting, obnoxious voice said over the speaker, casting a spell unknown to Rowena despite her vast knowledge of the arcane. Perhaps it stemmed directly from the Grimoire. "Age nunc intellectum atque voluntatem omnem meam."

The spell created a terrible, high-pitched noise, loud enough that Rowena had to lower the phone's volume lest they'd risk damage to their eardrums even from afar.

Sam screamed.

Screamed like she'd never heard him before.

His agony seemed to resonate somewhere deep within her muscles, shaking that barely contained landslide out of its constraints once more. She could swear she felt something shatter inside herself.

Then his scream broke off abruptly.

A blockage in her chest refused to let her breathe. Completely taken by surprise over her own reaction, she didn't know what to do or even think.

Nobody had ever—

She wasn't supposed to—

Clinging to the flickering movement of candlelight on the table, she swallowed against the lump in her throat and tried to make sense of what she was feeling. The weak attempt to ground herself failed miserably.

"Sam?" Dean's quiet, doubtful question condensed her thoughts far more effectively than she herself could have.

Sam, was he truly—

Too overwhelmed by the chaos in her head, the sound of Catriona's voice over the speaker actually made her wince.

"Tie him to that chair before he wakes up. I'll be right back."

Before he wakes up.

Heavens above.

She only just had enough sense to press a hand in front of her mouth to stifle the sound of relief that threatened to escape her.

It took another few seconds and several deep breaths until she regained control enough to think clearly. The first thing she did was mute their microphone, so that the ongoing connection would hopefully remain undiscovered, no matter how much noise they caused.

"What do we do?" Dean asked of her, looking at her with open trust as if she held all the answers in the world.

To the echo of hounds in her mind, she realized how much the lad's behavior reminded her of her time in Scotland, back when Fergus had been but a wee thing.

Casting a glance over to the motel room's door, she knew that she could turn her back on all this and be on her merry way. A past version of her would have done just that.

There was a sensation of wetness clinging to the corners of her eyes. Who knew if it had been caused by the memories of times long gone or by the mistaken conviction that Sam Winchester was no more.

At a distance of just a handful of steps, the door still beckoned her. But she wasn't the same woman anymore.

The things the supposed end of the world did to you.

Getting rid of the unshed tears with a hasty swipe of her hands, she squared her shoulders and straightened her posture before meeting Dean's gaze.

"Why, we save him, of course," she said, as if it was the most logical conclusion in the world. Perhaps it was. Or perhaps she'd finally lost her mind.

Dean smiled like a child who'd found the candy. "Oh, good, yeah, that's—" In a mood change as sudden as a lightning strike, he frowned instead. "How?"

Read Regarding Sam on AO3

[firewaking]

An incomplete note on les miserables

recommending Christianity?

why do you need a reason? a being? a medium? to do good? to be kind? if you have so much silver, you must not be starving. so what if you gave all to the one who is? does that mean you are doing anything more than a kind gesture? does solely that require that you must be sent from god?

the fact that the police man sang and mentioned god while doing the male protagonist wrong is not enough to prove this is not a film about recommendation of Christianity. people always think it is the person who is wrong, not the religion. so it is of no importance. 

jon is a reasonable man. even though in that age, no one can tell him what is right and what is wrong, he was able to tell that 5 years of prison was too long for stealing 1 loaf of bread. he is a just man. he complains of not meeting other just people. that only other just character literally died after 15mins of screen time.

what people do not realize is that, being with anyone, even a child, sitting close to them, can make you feel happier and at peace. you feel like you are no longer alone, although that is not necessarily true. she could still leave you.

so smart, even though he could have thought of it sooner. why must one of them go to jail? he could say that he is jon, thereby saving the other guys ass, and then go on the run again, for which he has experience, with his newfound hope, and back via where he found hope in the first place - the church, thereby avoiding jail for both of them altogether. he must fight, with the child as an excuse and a reason, instead of accepting his fate to be back to prison. the law dictates what "should" and "must" happen to him, but he thinks that it is too harsh. 

for jon, even though he worked hard for all his years as if he didn't have a next day, he still couldn't speak of who he really is. would you be able to accept that, even if you become the mayor? 

from the love story of corset and her beau onwards i cannot keep my eyes open. it goes to cliche. 

heads up, stop watching after 1:15:00. i kept watching till the end hoping for additional useful stuff.

and when the three people choir started, it was the most awkward moment and i don't know what is the point of this? what is the dark haired girl whining? it looks like some modern day Korean drama. 

hugo again has this imagination of some girl who would shield him from all that is harmful, be useful, and ask for nothing in return. for all of their lives, guys need a mother and a girlfriend, both in a girlfriend. but i can only say that the dark haired girl is the real MVP. at this point I'm not even mad even if she does not give corsets letter to mario. she saved jons and corsets lives. if it be inferred that corset deems her life less important than her love possiblities with mario, then i dont have further to say.

second MVP is obviously the boy. cliched, yes, but fresh nevertheless.

corset left with jon? what a weak girl. she cant be protagonist of this love. she has golden hair and that is enough?

? what is this? is he fucking her and loving corset at the same time? why is the DHG wearing her clothes like she'd been through some night? 

luckily mario stayed in paris, if not it will be -

ending credits - 

time, lol.

i know. i understand. what would i do? i would choose love. but what would my book do? they would choose the revolution. obviously there is more - 

story -

there.

but in the long river of history, when all of us is dust, when humans cease to appear like they do now, when our ways of living has changed drastically, what is more important?

everybody knows. the meaning of life. is to reproduce. and lengthen our population's or species's stay in (our part of) the universe. stay can be as temporary as billions of years (this means imminent extinction), depending on what and how the humans choose.

if i had chosen to stay, there would be bloodshed. there would too, However, be a new age, where people can live and reproduce in peace and abundance. who can say how we can calculate the numbers? but if our revolution failed, what happens? bloodshed and nothing more. so there is a risk.

however, if i had chosen love, i would have reproduced, giving rise to offspring, who would reproduce in their furtures. 

javier is the one who is "no worse than any man". he at least didnt waver. he held his ground to the last, no matter in the army /government, or in god. and who is to say his beliefs are definitely wrong? even in today's day and age, we still have people like him, and not necessarily in small number. plus, he says that he wasnt trying to bully him. and truth be told, he _was_ only executing what the law writes.

????? this is... you really have a thing for love that involves more than two people, don't you? again its the same two lovebirds, but now the two fathers also start peeking.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Cant Love You Back

*Not My Gif*

Because the song was stuck in my hand and apparently I am a fucking narcissist that loves pain so here ya go. @gottaboopthesnoot

There was a time in Kelly's life he was simply coasting through. He'd bust his ass at work then either go home to an empty apartment or go get drunk and go home with a girl whose name he had forgotten by the time he left her place. 

That changed the day Chief Boden announced fifty one was getting a new addition. You stood at the front of the room as Boden introduced you. Kelly offered you his hand and from the moment you smiled at him he felt something start to flutter inside him he had never dreamt of giving the light of day.

You fit in as if you'd been a part of the team from the start. Everyone that met you seemed to be drawn to you, Kelly worse of all. He'd find himself scanning for you after a tough call just to see for himself you were fine. After shift would end he'd make any excuse to spend more time with you 

--------------------

"So when are you gonna bite the bullet and ask her out?" Matt asked after watching Kelly follow you around like a puppy for two solid months. 

When Kelly cut his eyes at him he raised both hands defensively "Just saying man. It's painfully obvious how you feel. I can't blame you she's a great woman and beautiful. I think she feels the same but you're her Lieutenant and she's not going to admit anything that may make her seem as if she's ladder climbing" 

"That you or Gabby talking?" Kelly asked looking out into the bay where you were currently helping Gabby and Sylvie restock their rig. "Little bit of both. I'm just saying Kelly you've changed since she got here and it's not bad changes. Go with your gut. It's never led you wrong" 

Kelly felt Matt patt his shoulder before hearing his footsteps walk away. Had he changed that much since meeting you? When he thought about it he didn't remember the last time he'd drank over a couple beer and he'd been content with an empty bed knowing he'd see you the following shift 

You threw him off balance in the best way possible. You wouldn't blink an eye going into a fire but volunteered in the n.i.c.u. on your days off. You were a perfect combination of that fire he'd always crave and the peace that he desperately needed.

Hearing your laughter drew him out his thoughts and he glanced up to see you walking into the common room laughing about something Slyvie had said. When your eyes met his you smiled even further "Hey Kelly" "Hey Y/N can i talk to you for a minute?" The moment he asked Slyvie and Gabby shared a look then made up some excuse to be scarce.

"What's up?" You asked smiling up at him and Jesus christ he felt like a teenager with their first crush "You think you may wanna grab dinner with me sometime?" "Kelly Severide are you asking me out?" You questioned and he nearly blushed "Yeah?" You took a step closer to him and leaned up to leave a kiss on his cheek "good cause I am doing absolutely nothing Friday night and I have a new outfit sitting in my closet that desperately needs to see the light of day" 

"About frickin time!" Both of you both turned when you heard Mouch who was sitting on the couch watching t.v. but it was apparent he'd seen your exchange. "Excuse me?" You asked with a laugh so Mouch shrugged "I had the two and a half month mark in the betting pool" 

Your mouth fell open in shock and Kelly couldn't help but laugh when you recovered enough to say "That's it! I'm calling sergeant Platt!" and Mouch started backtracking trying his best to apologize but you winked at Kelly then ran off already dialing on your phone.

--------------------

Kelly pulled up in front of your apartment building around seven and slowly walked inside. Your apartment was on the second floor so headed for the elevator while he sent you a text that he was on the way up.

By the time he stepped off the elevator you were standing in the hall waiting on him. You were wearing black ankle boots with a black dress and a red leather jacket. Your hair was down in loose curls around your face and he'd never seen a more beautiful sight. "Wow" he breathed and a smile spread across your face "Does that mean you like?" He nodded quickly "Very much"

--------------------

The night went by too quick in Kelly's opinion. The two of you went to dinner and a movie then stopped at Molly's for a drink before he took you home. When he walked in with his arm around your waist it just felt right. Otis slid two drinks across the bar with a smile "These are from Mouch and Trudy"  you leaned back in your seat and spotted the two so you raised your bottle to them with a smile then turned back to Kelly "So Severide I was going to wait until you take me home but you owe me a kiss. I mean i technically kissed you first"

"Is that right?" He asked with a smirk that only deepened when you said "oh yeah definitely. I mean I've heard that you're some sort of ladies man yet all night the furthest you've went is home my hand or putting your arm around me" he cut you off mid sentence with a kiss. The kiss was gentle, barely a brush of the lips but when he pulled back a smile was on both of your faces "So does that mean this is going to be more than one date?" He asked and was answered by you grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him in for another kiss. 

-------------------------

The first time you told Kelly you loved him was after a huge fight between the two of you. You'd been staying at his place more and more so he was on the verge of asking you to move in but it just so happened a friend of yours had stopped by the firehouse to catch up. That friend just so happened to be male and Kelly's jealousy flared up.

The night had ended with you storming out of his apartment slamming the door behind you. You didn't answer any of his calls or texts and when he came over to your place you opened the door long enough to say "Kelly if you care about me at all you'll leave"

The next day he was miserable walking into fifty one. He spotted your car and prayed you'd talk to him but you stayed close to either Gabby and Sylvie or once they left on a call you walked over to where Herrman was sitting and struck up a conversation with him.

A call came out for an apartment fire with civilians trapped. Kelly was watching you take your orders from Matt and wanted nothing more than to tell you to be safe before you went  in but didn't want to distract you if you were still upset.  You started to walk past him but stopped just long enough to say "I love you Kelly" then jogged to catch up with your crew who were headed in. He had just a few seconds to process what you'd said before heading in the other entrance with Cruz.

The moment the building was cleared you were outside helping roll the hoses up. Kelly had just got through talking with Matt and chief Boden when he saw you. He caught your hand when you bent down to pick up another hose and the moment your eyes met his he said "I love you too. I'm sorry i was a jealous asshole. I've just never felt this way" you rolled your eyes but the smile you had told him all he needed to know even before you said "Good because neither have I. I'm not going anywhere Kelly" 

----------------------

You and Kelly were coming up on your two year anniversary. Your present had been sitting in the top drawer of his dresser for weeks. Gabby had went with him to help pick out what cut and style of ring she thought you'd like and of course she'd somehow managed to find out your ring size as well.

He had everything planned. Where he was going to take you, what he was going to say. The thing about plans is that sometimes the unexpected happens.

--------------------

The call had been simple enough. A warehouse had caught fire on the south side. You'd went in with Matt to clear the base floor where a few workers were trapped. You were following close behind Matt "Fire Department call out!" The haze of smoke was bad enough you could barely see in front of you.

You took another step and heard the crack right before your footing gave way. One moment you were falling the next you felt a sharp pain rip through your abdomen. You looked down to see a piece of rebar sticking out an inch above your navel. Your hands were shaking as you touched the wound trying to apply pressure but the slightest movement ripped a scream from your lips. "Y/N!" You could hear Matt's voice and knew you just had to hold on.

A moment later you heard him across the radio "Floor collapsed. Y/N's hurt. I need assistance" when his face appeared next to you the look on your face told you everything you needed to know about your injury. "Matt if something happens. Help Kelly please" you begged him your only thoughts being what would happen to the man you loved. Gabby told you how bad he'd gotten about Shay had been killed. You didn't want him falling in that hole. "Hey don't talk like that. You'll be fine. Your anniversary is in two weeks you'll be on your feet by then" 

Matt's hand found yours and gripped it tight. You could hear voices and knew everyone was working their way to you.

Kelly was fighting to get inside to your side but Boden called him back "You'll be in the way. Let them get her out then you can ride with them to med" it took everything in him to not argue. The moment he saw Cruz and Capp emerge he ran to your side feeling himself weaken when he saw how severely injured you were.

"Hey baby" you managed weakly as he climbed into the ambulance next to you while Gabby worked to stop the flow of blood. "Hey beautiful" he said with a smile that was marred by the tears flowing down his face. Every bump the ambulance hit caused a grimace to flash across your face. "Kelly I don't want to die" you whispered right as your grip on his hand loosened and the heart monitor on you flat lined. 

--------------------

"If love could have saved Y/N she would have lived forever. Love from her aunt and uncle who raised her, from her family at firehouse fifty one and from her loving boyfriend. Sadly fate as it seemed had other plans. We don't know why she was taken from us so soon and as we grieve today may the loving warmth of her spirit live on in all of us she held close" 

Kelly sat in the front of the church staring at the photo of you that had been chosen. Those eyes he loved looking into that never opened again after you whispered how you didn't want to die. That smile that always made even his worse day better that he'd never see again. He never got to ask you to marry him. He never got to see you pregnant with his child. He'd never get to tell you again just how much you meant to him.

He'd love you every day for the rest of his life. If only he could manage to love you back to this world then maybe his heart wouldn't feel like it had been ripped out his chest the moment you took your last breath.

[firewaking]

A note on

les miserables 

movie

thoughts

recommending Christianity?

why do you need a reason? a being? a medium? to do good? to be kind? if you have so much silver, you must not be starving. so what if you gave all to the one who is? does that mean you are doing anything more than a kind gesture? does solely that require that you must be sent from god?

the fact that the police man sang and mentioned god while doing the male protagonist wrong is not enough to prove this is not a film about recommendation of Christianity. people always think it is the person who is wrong, not the religion. so it is of no importance. 

jon is a reasonable man. even though in that age, no one can tell him what is right and what is wrong, he was able to tell that 5 years of prison was too long for stealing 1 loaf of bread. he is a just man. he complains of not meeting other just people. that only other just character literally died after 15mins of screen time.

what people do not realize is that, being with anyone, even a child, sitting close to them, can make you feel happier and at peace. you feel like you are no longer alone, although that is not necessarily true. she could still leave you.

so smart, even though he could have thought of it sooner. why must one of them go to jail? he could say that he is jon, thereby saving the other guys ass, and then go on the run again, for which he has experience, with his newfound hope, and back via where he found hope in the first place - the church, thereby avoiding jail for both of them altogether. he must fight, with the child as an excuse and a reason, instead of accepting his fate to be back to prison. the law dictates what "should" and "must" happen to him, but he thinks that it is too harsh. 

for jon, even though he worked hard for all his years as if he didn't have a next day, he still couldn't speak of who he really is. would you be able to accept that, even if you become the mayor? 

from the love story of corset and her beau onwards i cannot keep my eyes open. it goes to cliche. 

heads up, stop watching after 1:15:00. i kept watching till the end hoping for additional useful stuff.

and when the three people choir started, it was the most awkward moment and i don't know what is the point of this? what is the dark haired girl whining? it looks like some modern day Korean drama. 

hugo again has this imagination of some girl who would shield him from all that is harmful, be useful, and ask for nothing in return. for all of their lives, guys need a mother and a girlfriend, all in a girlfriend. but i can only say that the dark haired girl is the real MVP. at this point I'm not even mad even if she does not give corsets letter to mario. she saved jons and corsets lives. if it be inferred that corset deems her life less important than her love possiblities with mario, then i dont have further to say.

second MVP is obviously the boy. cliched, yes, but fresh nevertheless.

corset left with jon? what a weak girl. she cant be protagonist of this love. she has golden hair and that is enough?

? what is this? is he fcking her and loving corset at the same time? why is the DHG wearing her clothes like she'd been through some night? 

luckily mario stayed in paris, if not it will be -

ending credits - 

time, lol.

i know. i understand. what would i do? i would choose love. but what would my book do? they would choose the revolution. obviously there is more - 

story -

there.

but in the long river of history, when all of us is dust, when humans cease to appear like they do now, when our ways of living has changed drastically, what is more important?

everybody knows. the meaning of life. is to reproduce. and lengthen our population's or species's stay in (our part of) the universe. stay can be as temporary as billions of years (this means imminent extinction), depending on what and how the humans choose.

if i had chosen to stay, there would be bloodshed. there would too, However, be a new age, where people can live and reproduce in peace and abundance. who can say how we can calculate the numbers? but if our revolution failed, what happens? bloodshed and nothing more. so there is a risk.

however, if i had chosen love, i would have reproduced, giving rise to offspring, who would reproduce in their furtures. 

the story of the slaves. yes, i know. 

起来！不愿做奴隶的人们！把我们的血肉，筑成我们新的长城！每个人被迫着发出最后的吼声。我们万众一心，冒着敌人的炮火！前进！

javier is the one who is "no worse than any man". he at least didnt waver. he held his ground to the last, no matter in the army /government, or in god. and who is to say his beliefs are definitely wrong? even in today's day and age, we still have people like him, and not necessarily in small number. plus, he says that he wasnt trying to bully him. and truth be told, he _was_ only executing what the law writes.

????? this is... you really have a thing for love that involves more than two people, don't you? again its the same two lovebirds, but now the two fathers also start peeking.

then the two men t