#but she’s human with a lot of mistakes and all

[shantechni]

Related to your post about Mikey "accidentally delivering low blows when stressed" (Aug 2023) would you hc that it's related to his emotional awareness of his family? Like when he blamed Splinter for letting them go up to the surface, he would know Splinter was already questioning his decision to let them do that, or he calls Splinter out on not being affected by his mutated appearance (when Splinter looks uncomfortable being seen by humans/Shredder)? Basically, what are your further thoughts on it? Has he done this elsewhere?

The post in question for the curious cats

This compilation video as well because my big brain remembered me doing that and it's related to this topic and I meant to do a part 2

Oh, that behavior is 100% related to Mikey's emotional awareness. I'd hardly even call it a headcanon, it's just canon lol.

After not only botching their first fight above ground but failing to stop two kidnappings on their watch, the boys immediately start playing the blame game by pointing out each other's rash decisions and dumb mistakes that led to such an outcome. Obviously, the idea of Splinter's decision being yet another mistake of the sorts was hanging somewhere in the air waiting to be grabbed at, but no one readily went for it as something that needed to be acknowledged as mistake. That's why it's so fascinating to see the writers establish Mikey right out of the gate as someone who isn't afraid to comment on Splinter's decisions and his emotional state when he's making those decisions.

He was certainly aware of their father's doubts concerning them going above ground for the first time because a comment like that doesn't just come out of nowhere.

Granted, this instance was him speaking his mind in the heat of the moment and only realizing how much his words would sting after the fact (especially since they're the ones who convinced Splinter to send them off with their begging), but this becoming a continuous trend of his throughout the series further proves the fact of him being more aware of things than a lot of people pegged him to be.

In Mikey Gets Shellacne, his remark about Splinter telling him not to fret about his appearance when he could hardly bring himself to do the same can be interpreted as a more apparent example of him knowing more than he lets on. It's made rather obvious from the start of the series that Splinter wasn't keen on roaming the streets looking like a giant rat, but that's more of a show and tell deal where both the audience and the characters are left on their own to pick up on such an important yet minor detail. Splinter never tells anyone about his insecurity, nor does anyone in the series talk about it amongst each other, so a moment like this can be a bit jarring when it's framed as Mikey calling out Splinter's opinion on his own appearance.

Though the intent of his comment was to simply call Splinter old, the underlying insult is there and Mikey regrets saying something like that to their father of all people.

Other than letting his frustrations get the better of him and unintentionally plucking at Splinter's insecurities, Mikey is greatly in tuned with the emotions of those around him and will usually pick up on any changes rather quickly. Take these two moments with, funnily enough, him and Splinter near the start of Serpent Hunt.

I previously posted the first clip as a funny little observation, but the scene is more intriguing than my jestful sentence made it out to be. Mikey's attention is split between hanging his goofy pieces of artwork on the wooden boards and listening to April as she announces how the restaurant is starting to look like a makeshift home. It's not until he turns around to joke with her about his drawings that he finally has Splinter in his sights, and his attention evidently begins to drift to Splinter as April is responding to his question (you can literally see his head following Splinter's movements while April is speaking to him😭). And just look at how taken aback he is by Splinter's melancholic expression being on full display:

While Splinter answers Mikey by stating that he's concerned for Casey, Leo and Raph because they've been gone for a while, it's pretty obvious that's not all he's bothered by, and him not being subtle about his troubled mind like usual had enough flags raising in Mikey's mind for him to hop up from his spot. Once the scene transitions to the second clip, Mikey lingers with Splinter in the front of the restaurant while April ventures to the back in search of Donnie to check on his progress with the retro-mutagen, as well as to see if the others made it back yet. Mikey and Splinter decide to follow April as soon as Donnie utters Karai's name, and Mikey is visibly bracing himself for another look of heartbreak on their father's visage:

Splinter moments aside, Mikey recognizes when something is up with his brothers and friends, as well as whether or not he should step in. Of course the prominent moments of him demonstrating his ability to calm Leatherhead and Raph down count among the times when he steps in, but the times when he chooses not to step in shouldn't be understated either.

Take the pre-intro scene in The Cosmic Ocean for example, when April breaks the silence and questions where Leo ran off to. We understand where Raph is coming from when he says that it can't be healthy for Leo to confide in a simulated version of Splinter since it could just make him miss their father more than ever, but Mikey suddenly pops from his laid back position off-screen and joins the conversation:

He's knows as well as Raph that speaking with a simulation of their father isn't exactly ideal, but he also knows that Leo is used to coming home to confide in Splinter for advice whenever he feels his confidence as a leader beginning to waver. The whole gang knows all of this, but once again, Mikey's the only one to verbalize it. Sometimes people need to hear something so obvious outloud to really understand or remember its importance, and Mikey seems to know that best.

I don't really need to mention how his emotional awareness extends far beyond simply knowing when someone is down, or when he is or isn't in a position to help them, but it makes for a decent epilogue to this analysis so-

Him being the least (read: least) temperamental of his brothers automatically puts him in the position of a mediator when there's tension in the group, and it's common knowledge that he'd often go out of his way to ease that tension in his own ways. He sometimes makes jokes, both corny and intelligent, just to get everyone's minds off of the heaviness of a situation, even if that moment of reprieve only lasts for a minute. He attempts to break up fights before they get too far, which sometimes doesn't work because they're a stubborn bunch of turtles (literally the entire first five minutes of New Girl in Town lol), but his efforts are commendable and genuine.

He's exceptionally conscious of changes in the atmosphere and a swing in someone's mood, which could go hand in hand with his sixth sense for weird Kraang stuff if you think about it. But all of this comes together to paint an undeniably clear image of Mikey having a great amount of emotional awareness, and just all around being one of the most emotionally intelligent characters of the series.

[sepublic]

As I talk about Luz visiting a host culture and learning to appreciate it, to respect and submit to the grace of her hosts, I think there’s similar potential in Vee doing the same in a reverse way; She’s a demon entering the human world, she’s engaging in human culture and learns how to be human on their terms.

Now granted, some of that human culture Vee encounters has issues of assimilation and imperialism and the like, so the onus on Vee to be respectful is much smaller. Plus she’s a refugee who had little choice, persecuted by an older branch of that culture in Belos, so really she’s entitled to do as she pleases with Gravesfield; She’s not like the Coven Heads, who expected to fuse the realms, and be treated like royalty for it by both inhabitants.

But then we get to the Noceda family, who aren’t from there, who are Dominican immigrants, whose forebearers come from a country that struggles with imperialism, whose struggles in this American society hearken back to that. With Luz needing to learn magic on the terms of the witches and the Titan and whatnot, I think there’s potential in Vee acclimating herself to the Nocedas’ Dominican customs, learning Spanish, all of that. Camila very much chose to adopt this scared child who had to go along to survive, but it’d be neat to explore Vee understanding Luz in hindsight, and how her decision to leave home was informed by racism and other factors.

Like imagine Vee getting to apologize/make it up to Luz for saying she had it good and abandoned her mother for nothing; Imagine Vee reflecting on how she didn’t even want to be here specifically, just away from someplace else so she could survive. But now Vee can catch her breath and find stability, so now what? Does she do the same as Luz and embrace another world?

Imagine Vee taking Spanish lessons, imagine Vee partaking in the family traditions and music and culture. Appreciating what the Dominican heritage that adopted her is like. Being grateful to be included, wondering if she even belongs or deserves to, if she’s just an impersonating thief like her creator. Eda tells Luz to her own kind of witch, maybe Luz and Camila comfort Vee in a similar way.

I can see it being a touchy subject that requires care, but it could be something the Noceda sisters bond over, that question if they really belong and if their presence is inherently harmful; Luz wanting to do her witch fantasy led her to helping Belos find what he needed to become an emperor and enact the draining spell, to establish a genocidal regime.

Vee stole Luz’s life and contributed to a lie that devastated Camila when she found out, created a temporary rift between mother and daughter that contributed so much to Luz’s suicidal depression, which of course pained Camila. Luz and Vee both hurt people who took them in, who they grew to love and vice versa, without meaning to in a grand butterfly effect.

Because again, people understand Luz, a lot more than she realizes, it’s her greatest comfort, a fantasy even deeper than being Azura because even that was about finding people who shared the same interest in magic as her. Camila knows what it’s like to make mistakes, Willow knows what it’s like struggling to be the perfect friend everyone can depend upon; Amity knows what it’s like to hide your greatest sin for fear your new friend will reject you for it. Etc.

So Vee knows what it’s like to have to leave a place, finding a new one, stumbling your way into the arms of a mother and learning enthusiastically about how to be this world’s people as you make friends from them. But all the while you question yourself if you belong, if you’re some impersonating thief. Luz saw herself in Belos, maybe Vee saw herself in other white colonizers like him, the ones who came shortly before in conquering the Americas, contributing to the Dominican culture as a side-effect.

Vee’s ability to shapeshift could make her ask, Am I just an imitator? This makes me think of how Hunter is really good for episodes where he and another character bond over similarities; We were both cloned by Belos to aid in his genocide (While Hunter was technically in the spotlight and meant to be a nephew, Vee was hidden at all times and a loathsome tool). We both feel the weight of being colonial in some regard. We both have to rely on the identities of others, so who does that make us? In a timeline where Gus was not as mindful about the Grimwalker secret, I could see Vee helping Gus with Hunter’s clone angst.

And if there’d been more time, maybe Vee could’ve helped Luz with her own guilt, her own worry of being an outsider who doesn’t belong and is inherently harmful whether she means to be or not. Camila could bring up Vee and say that it’s not the same, there’s a difference between an immigrant and a colonizer, esp when the native chooses to accept. And Vee would feel validation as an example, but still wonder anyway. Shouldn’t they be conscious of it?

But maybe that’s what they’ve already done, with Luz learning to earn magic the way wild witches do, treating witches and demons as people and not side character tropes in her story. Those friends affirm that she’s already done the work, and the butterfly effect of being manipulated is not equivalent to malicious, intentional colonization. And if Vee feels she hasn’t done it, she can begin now, when it comes to Dominican culture and being a Noceda. And the Nocedas have always loved weirdness, so Vee’s already halfway there! Manny would’ve loved her and appreciated the joy Vee brought to his family.

Between everything that needed to be established for the plot and for Luz’s own depression, plus clone troubles, and Camila’s backstory and like. Yeah there was no time for a Vee storyline like this when Luz was isolating herself the whole time, and would only start to let people in when she was returning to the Demon Realm or was there. But imagine a full S3 where we could’ve it all…

This could make good grounds for a fanfic, the Noceda sisters bonding. It’d have to take some cultural sensitivity that the characters would have in-universe, but a writer might struggle out-of-universe. I could see this being after the finale, when Luz has a relapse because that’s always a possibility and has happened before; And for Vee, her storyline isn’t necessarily addressed and they can both bond over a shared fear together!!!

[thatfreak03]

(Sorry for any spelling, grammar, or drawing mistakes)

Crossover AU where shortly after Stanley got kicked out of his house, he somehow fell through a leak into The Demon Realm and was found by The Bat Queen.

Eda said The Demon Realm leaks into Earth, and that's where most of Earth's stories of magic come from, so I don't think it hard to believe that a portal to The Boiling Isles can open up in places other than Gravesfield.

Long story short, The Bat Queen finds a passed out Stanley in her forest, puts together he was abandon, and decides to keep him. After all, she always takes in abandon palisman, she can take in a seventeen year old boy. So she takes him back to her nest, and Stanley wakes up and finds out he's been adopted.

By the time Luz enters The Boiling Isles, around forty years later, Stanley has made himself at home in The Bat Queen's forest. He gets along great with all her palisman and even adopted one of his own. A opossum palisman named Treasure, who was abandon by his previous owner when they joined the Emperor's Coven.

During his time on the Isles Stanley has learned a glyph magic, but he still prefers to fight with his fist.

Stanley doesn't leave The Bat Queen's forest a lot but when he does he often causes trouble for the Emperor's Coven. Especially if that trouble involves stopping palisman from being delivered to Belos. Stanley has more or less became The Bat Queen's second in command when it comes to keeping palisman safe.

Stanley Pines is wanted by the Emperor's Coven. He is not nearly as wanted as Eda The Owl Lady, but his bounty is still pretty high.

Speaking of Eda The Owl Lady, while they never dated in this AU, they are good friends. Eda is one of the few people who knows Stanley's real name and that he's human. Eda has offered him many chances to come with her during her visits to the human world, but Stanley can never bring himself to go.

That's all I got planned for this AU right now. I want to incorporate Stanford, and possibly, Dipper and Mabel in this AU too, but I'm not sure how to do that yet. I'm also not how much of this will end up changing the overall story The Owl House.

Hopefully I will figure all that out and continue this AU.

[jpitha]

Between the Black and Grey 69

First / Previous / Next

Immediately after they vanished, Fen could sense that the ship was moving. She didn't feel it, not exactly. What she was doing wasn't feeling, she had no body. It was more like she... perceived that there was motion. She reached out to try and figure out what was going on, but Gord and Chloe had locked her out of the sensor suite. She was effectively sitting in her "room" waiting for them two tell her what was going on.

It was always like this. First when Ma had an idea, then when she was Empress, and now as a consciousness running in emulation. Everyone else decides for her. Everyone else figures out what to do. "Just sit tight Fen" they'd say "we got this" they'd say, and what did that get her? A bunch of Nanites in her body telling her what to do, an entire Empire telling her what to do, and now some AIs telling her what to do. When was she going to get to decide what to to?

Fen ruminated for a couple of minutes as she perceived the ship rock and buck under the attack. She sighed, and virtually stood up. The only way to get agency was to take it. Gord and Chloe were busy and had left her unattended. She was locked out of ship controls, but they hadn't bothered to lock her out of everything. She could see the reactor, the environment systems, her own cabinet... the pressure suits... and the link backpacks that Gord had used. Hmm. Fen stood over her own broken body in the hibernation cabinet. The cab had started repairs, but she was reading the readout and while she wasn't a medical professional, there was a lot of red on the panel. More than she thought was good. Still...

"Ancestors, this is going to suck." She said to herself, and began the wake procedure.

****

"No response from Gord's ship or Home, Empress!" Zhe said, reading a report on her pad. "They are ignoring us."

"Well, then it's time we get their attention another way." Empress Penelope said. "Weapons! Target Gord's ship. Shoot to damage, not destory."

"Yes, Empress." The weapons officer hunched over his station, and there was a thump from deep within the Dreadnought.

Penny sighed internally. Ever since Fen disappeared and the K'laxi declared independence, things have been moving at lightning speed. Penny had declared herself Empress after the K'laxi said that Fen was "no longer Empress," whatever that meant. She had a icy pit in her stomach at the implications. But someone had to pick up the pieces and try and hold things together. If the Empire fell apart all at one there would be dozens of wars on hundreds of fronts, all vying for the power that Fen left. For now, Penny concentrated at the task at hand. The AIs knew something about what was going on, and weren't saying.

"No reply from Gord's ship, Empress. Further, Home has begun to turn. We don't know if they're turning to fire, or turning to leave."

"Full sensor suite on Home then. If they link away, track them. If you see weapons powering up, we link away. Comms!" Penny snapped. "Full spectrum blast. Let me know when the channel is open."

"Mic is hot, Empress."

"Attention Home and all AI ships within a few minutes of my voice. I am Interim Empress Penelope. With Empress Fen's disappearance I am in charge of the Human Empire. We know you have information on what is going on with the K'laxi, and we hope you have information on the Empress. We are demanding your assistance in discovering what happened."

The reply came back a minute later, filled with static. "Typical humans, shooting first and asking for help second. It was a mistake for Gord to take Home here, it was a mistake to think we could work with you again. If you continue to fire upon our ships, it will be taken as the aggressive act it is, and we will return fire." The line went silent, only the background hiss of interstellar space still audible.

Penny nodded to herself. "So be it then. Prepare to capture Gord's ship. We will ask him personally what is going on."

"Empress!" The command crew began bustling at their stations, and Zhe looked over at Penny.

"Do they really know what happend to Fen?" Zhe asked.

"They must. We know they were following her expeditionary trip to the white hole. We also know that none of those ships came back, except for Gord's. I don't think he destroyed the entire force, but I sure would like to know what he saw."

"Why isn't he saying though? We asked before shooting, he could have just told us."

Penny shook her head. "I can't think of any good reason why he'd ignore our ask. I just hope Fen is captured. If she's dead, we need the body to have the funeral, and set up the new lines of succession. There are already competitors to the throne, it's going to be messy if Fen's gone."

"And the Nanites?"

Penny snorted. "They're the least of our worries now. We need to worry about survival. Between the AIs, the K'laxi, and the other humans, there are more than enough threats to us to worry about those things. Fen said they were advising her and gave her the Voice, but we don't need those to rule. We did it fine for millennia before, we can do it again."

****

Fen was hot. And cold. And aching. And burning. And stinging. All her senses were confused. She blinked her eyes, and they were crusted over, painful. She reached up to rub her eyes, and felt the tug of cables and wires. Pushing with her hands, she sat up and the world spun. Fighting against retching, she rolled out of the hibernation cabinet and fell to the deck. Ugh, this was worse than she thought. The cabinet had warned against an emergency wake, but she didn't have time to let it wake her slowly. Shaky and unsteady, she stood up, the cables connecting her to the cabinet popping like wine corks as they pulled them out. When the back of her neck felt wet, she put her hand back there, and it came back slicked with blood. "Uh oh, that's not good," she thought and had a moment marveling at her calm. "This is real bad, I should be freaking out." she thought.

"Hey, Nanites? Either the OG, or Han'iels? You there?" She thought. No reply. Maybe they were gone for good, and she was filled with the anti-nanite virus. Her whole plan - ad hoc as it was - relied on that being true. She rubbed her eyes, and scraped the crust away, as her head throbbed and stars filled her vision. She grasped the side of the hibernation cabinet to steady herself and began to realize she was in no condition to walk around, let alone escape.

Just then, the pressure suit she called for walked in. It was a model she wasn't familiar with, but it was an emergency suit, so it was designed to be simple to use. It was safety yellow, with a beacon on the top of the helmet and shoulders, and RESCUE written in contrasting letters on her arms and legs. She stumbled towards it, and it spun around, the back opening like a flower. One leg, then the other, then an arm, and the other and as she squeezed the connections with her hand, the irised shut. The suit readout was projected into her vision. Suit diagnostics, and a medical report. There was a lot of red. The suit queried her: UNABLE TO REPAIR. EASE PAIN?

"No" Fen croaked. "I can't be floating now. I'll deal with it. Assist with locomotion."

CONFIRMED. LOCOMOTION ASSIST ACTIVATED.

Fen found she had to only think about walking and the suit did the work. She made her way out of the room, towards the locker where she saw Gord's linking backpacks.

"Fen! What are you doing? You're not supposed to be in your body, you're too injured!" Chloe's voice came over the suit comm to her. She had the decency to sound worried, while also sounding distracted.

"I'm tired of decisions being made for me." Fen said. "I'm making my own choices from now on."

"But where are you going? You can barely move, let alone escape. Get back to your room, we'll put you back into the cabinet and you can heal."

"No, Chloe." Fen paused and had a hacking coughing fit. Her lungs ached at the effort to speak, and her voice was raspy. "No. I'm doing this myself."

Fen muted the suit radio, but she knew that Chloe or Gord could probably override the suit. It didn't matter though, because she had reached the lockers. The ship had told here where to go, and helpfully pointed out which backpack Gord had used. "Put it on." She told the suit, and it moved to shrug on the backpack.

Gasping against the pain of the motion, and her vision going grey for a moment, the suit moved entirely too fast for her comfort level and put the backpack on. As it touched the back of her suit, a new overlay entered her vision. Fortunately, the backpack was recharged. Two links available. Fen frantically scrolled through the logs. "It has to be here, it just has to." she whispered. Eventually, she found it. The address Gord had linked to when he grabbed her.

"Ancestors, this is going to suck even more." She said out loud and activated the link.

[ennn]

Vidarkness for the ship ask

Also asked by @isagrimorie and @forgottostay

I gotta say I didn't realise these questions were so gosh darn fluffy. This will be fun.

Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa

Doors tend to open whichever way Rio wants them to, if they know what's good for them. Agatha doesn't care much about doors now does she!

Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside them

If by doodle you mean carve with her knife, Rio. I do not think she limits herself to desks.

Who starts the tickle fights

Who starts the pillow fights

I feel like there won't be a lot of pillows and tickling involved in the fights they have. And I think it would really depend on what stage of their relationship they're at. Probably be a pretty even split on who throws the first punch.

Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile

I don't think Rio needs to sleep so she tends to win out here.

Who mistakes salt for sugar

Agatha, when she's busy and has better things to focus on (which is often). The first Green Witch however, always knows which one's sugar and salt. After all, one's from plants, the other is from the earth.

Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morning

Both of them have no idea how to stop it from beeping. It's okay, they can survive without a microwave.

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines

Ever the performer, Agatha does it to amuse Rio. She finds the worst, most ridiculous lines.

Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order

Agatha's the big nerd. She probably has a whole complicated system.

Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies

I imagine Agatha's the one with the sweet tooth. Sugar wasn't common or cheaply available back then!

Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasion

Both these witches recognise the importance of a good supply of candles. Who needs a special occasion to use candles!

Who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen

If by pen you mean knife and by tattoos you mean...

Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacation

I mean, Agatha is a serial killer. Why not take souvenirs from the places you visit and the people you murdered. Also Rio's technically never on vacation.

Who convinces the other to fill out those couple surveys in the back of magazines

Rio does it to annoy Agatha but also because some human societal norms are amusing. Agatha lies as much as possible and is exceptionally unhelpful.

[perilegs]

i know astrology is fake but i'm not too keen on how a lot of people on this website seem to be clowning on it as a hobby a bit too hard. i swear the woman who thinks it's neat how she and her friends with the same sun sign are all similar isn't trying to say that you are who you are born as and there is nothing you can do to change it. it's a hobby. an interest. what happened to finding meaning and joy in the small things. does it affect you if someone enjoys tarot reading or crystals. does it make you upset someone has interests that they enjoy.

[unnamed-atlas]

Finally finished sweet tooth s3. Having incredibly mixed feelings

[itspileofgoodthings]

Porfiry telling Raskolnikov that at least he was honest and in one bound took the furthest leap to put his theory to the test of actual action——

[allmoshnobrain]

A not so small ramble about Heartbreaker because the story is near its end and I've started writing the epilogue, which will tie all loose ends (spoilers for part 32 ahead!)

The whole thing about Heartbreaker is that everyone makes a lot of mistakes mainly because they are all so young when everything happens, but that doesn't make them terrible people - they just didn't know any better.

Dave unconsciously tries to alienate Nore from her friends because she's the only one he has left and he loves her, even though she begs him not to make her choose. He's also so deeply insecure that he becomes jealous and immediately believes Pat when she says Nore is cheating on him with James because well why wouldn't she, when he feels so much like a burden to her?

James tries to earn Nore's affection at all costs because he's in love with her, but he never considers Dave's feelings, his former best friend, who he already had hurt by kicking him off the band and cutting ties. He knows Nore likes him too, he can feel it, but he can't bring himself to just talk to her directly about it all - instead he pressures her, he begs her, please, please leave him, please love me instead. But when she gets hurt and confused because she loves them both, he starts dating her friend in an attempt to get over her, but that only hurts Nore more.

Nore doesn't want to hurt anyone. She just wants to be happy, she just wants her friends - her chosen family - to get along because the happier she had ever been was when everyone was together still. So she avoids telling Dave about her blossoming feelings for James, because she knows it will upset him. She avoids telling Dave so many important things, she avoids rejecting James fully too because she knows it will hurt him and she loves them both, she doesn't wanna hurt him, she doesn't wanna lose him. Then it all blows up in her face because you can't keep avoiding these kind of things forever - they take root, and they grow, and they become bigger the more you ignore them.

I also think Pat fits in this, although she was really mean about it lol James was her dream rockstar boyfriend, and when she realized she wasn't the one he really liked, she felt threatened and tried to sabotage his friendship with Nore instead of confronting him about it or just walking away.

I think the whole point in this is that James, Nore and Dave all tried to do what was easier, instead of what was right. Because none of them were mature enough to make the hard choices. None of them were mature enough to realize they were hurting themselves and hurting the people around them until it was too late.

But I said there would be a happy ending, and there will be! The story will be "finished" in part 35, but that won't really be the end. The epilogue will be set 7 years later, in 1991 - and we will see then the outcome of all of their choices and love and heartbreak. Pinky promise <3

[silentalltheseyearsnomore]

In and out of constant crisis... to be expected. Its brutal. SO brutal.

There's a line though, where it is either pain being released and parts processing.. or just retraumatising. And the difference between what makes it one or the other can be so small! And usually to do with if we feel alone or not, connected to S or not, allowed to reach out or not.

Yet we are seeing we survive each time? And it passes. Same with S... we reconnect each time. She doesn't leave.

Today we made a huge leap! An email she sent landed badly. A part wrote a reply, not meanly at all (we never do that and are proud of our ability to communicate these days), but saying how it felt and how upset. But we didn't send... because we knew it wouldn't help. Its how they felt and it was real and valid. But she'd likely feel more defeated and stressed, then we'd feel more disconnected, and the same old cycle. (Also, we figured even IF it was intended how it felt.. we no longer beg for people to understand or care, and that has to be true for her too.) So we didn't send, and instead chose to trust our overall relationship instead of these moments and details.. and just turn up today as unguarded as humanly possible. Which was still hugely guarded lol.

It was SO hard to do. But I am so proud of us. And it went so well. It allowed us both to connect so much quicker and easier and see we are on the same side. We didn't hug her straight away like normal and just hid ourselves not looking at her, but as she started talking and we could hear there weren't bad intentions, we managed to lift a finger up and she reached for it and held our hand. And we were SO proud of us in that moment. It doesn't seem big. But for us it is huge. To be able to reach for connection without going through every detail of what hurt, ask a lot of questions, pick it all through, stay in defense... instead we just listened to how it felt right in that moment. And it allowed us to connect quicker. We made a new choice and it paid off.

She made a comment about us seeming to not want to be there, possibly hating her (kind of jokingly) and we realised that's how it may seem.. like to us it is OBVIOUS we never hate her, always want her. But then to her it is obvious how much she cares etc, and that doesn't mean we always see it. It softened so many protective parts and we looked up and we both smiled and we said of course we don't. It's just all painful. But the pain isn't from her, it's everything before her. And then cuddled in to her. It was so simple in that moment. We are on the same side.

And the whole session was so connecting and simple. Despite the fact we never talked through what happened earlier in the week really.. and despite it being one of the last sessions. It was just simple. The ending of therapy is terrifying but also helping us let go of details and see the big picture. She's SO on our side. We aren't on opposite sides. She's fighting a whole system for us. She's paying for her specialised supervisor she got just for us, even after we arent a client, to help us both through this transition and to help us fight the system as she's a very high up contact. She is thinking everything about this transition through so she doesnt rush things or make mistakes others did. She cares so much. So yeah, she's not perfect, she misses the mark, and she can't be everything we wish she could. But she is a human who wants us in her life and cares deeply and is fighting to get us the right support. We can get lost in all the pain or we can look at how lucky we are to have her.

[m4niackkyun]

Hi. (Announcement in the tags)

[fragmentedblade]

I haven't looked forwards to a character as much as I've looked forwards to Sunday. I hope he won't disappoint

[nieves-de-sugui]

I need to put my thoughts somewhere so here goes.

I'm currently watching this show on netflix and I have thoughts. I am super intrigued with it so spoilers ahead for the people who might happen to be watching it.

Ok so, I just watched the most recent episode and I am a little sad they decided to have Kang Ho get back his memories like this. One of the things that I liked about this show is that despite having the typical corruption storyline they seemed to be going/exploring a different outcome when they had Kang Ho's mom burn all the evidence. Which I was intrigued by. The kdramas are all about vengeance and justice, however this show is about good intentioned people making bad choices in the name of revenge or pursuing justice. Kang Ho's mom wanting to save Kang Ho from this revenge plot he's put himself into (that has cost him his life and happiness). Trying to correct the mistake she made when she forced him on the path of becoming a prosecutor.

It seemed to me like they might explore another way out, by letting the past be in the past and learning to move on with Kang Ho's current condition. There's enough to unpack there, and also the whole exploration of living with someone with a disability. How much Kang Ho and his mother have hurt each other, how much they love each other, and how to find happiness in such a complex family situation.

I would have loved for Kang Ho to get his memories slowly. I still hope he does, and doesn't revert back to being who he was a 100%. Hopefully he gets them back gradually and, combined with his most recent memories he can learn from his past mistakes and learn to understand his mother more. I hope they end up having a few heart to hearts by the end of the show.

I really love how they show how even with the best intention mother can be bad. We see it in how Mi-joo doesn't tell the truth to her kids about their dad. In Mijoo's mom who wants to save her from a fate similar to hers, but doesn't listen to her daughters wishes. In Samsik's mom too.

Anyway, all this to say that for me this show is about healing. And Kang Ho getting his memories back implies we're gonna spend more time with the revenge/corruption plot line. Which is intriguing and all but I hope it doesn't eclipse the main part of the story. Which is about learning from our past mistakes, stop thinking we know better than others (and hurt them I the process) and enjoying the present in whichever shape it comes.

I hope this show sticks the landing because it could easily become one of my faves. So fingers crossed! 🤞

[rcmclachlan]

#listen i know i keep writing vaguely conciliatory marge and phil in my fics #but i would like to repeat myself in saying that PERSONALLY i would like them slowly lowered into a cauldron of boiling oil #roasted over a spit #made to live in a neighborhood without an hoa #i understand there is nuance to grief but i cannot forgive eighteen years of NOT CARING FOR YOUR CHILD #for forcing a child you canonically care for to RAISE A CHILD YOU HAD FOR SPARE PARTS #for forcing her to LIE to him#i would like a solar flare to target them specifically #god #its so fucking heartbreaking that they have denied buck live for so long #that overbearing 'im going to buy you a couch' is So Significant to Buck that he's nearly in tears about it #so glad he has maddie but it was Never right or fair to turn her into a mother #i Do Not forgive them and the narrative will never change that for me (via @alchemistc)

4.04 (9-1-1, What’s Your Grievance?) ✘ 4.05 (Buck Begins)

“When you left Doug, you only had two suitcases.”

“And everything that mattered the most was inside them.”

↳ requested by princessfbi

[archaeren]

How I learned to write smarter, not harder

(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)

A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.

The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.

As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!

Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!

2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)

Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.

Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.

I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.

Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!

This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.

As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.

When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD

People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.

What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!

What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.

You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.

And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.

And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.

If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?

And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD

In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.

Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.

Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)

And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)

[areyoudoingthis]

that post about how if you don't value someone to ask for their advice why would you accept their criticism really changed my perspective about things