#but she thought every other masochist was also putting themselves through legit trauma in order to fit into that box | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tallymali · 7 hours ago

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my tags on that last post about ppl being incapable of doing something unless enough other people are doing it that it becomes a named thing. ive been thinking a lot about how that kinda goes the other way specifically regarding abuse in kink and polyamory. like ive seen so many people think they are obligated to put up with being mistreated just bc its a thing with a name. like its a thing thats considered Normal in a certain space so if you’ve got a problem with it then you’re Not Normal. so many people reaching out for help in abusive situations ask “is this normal?” and it always makes me anxious bc..sometimes the answer is yes? but that doesnt make it good or okay for everyone?

#ive said this before but im forever haunted by that girl who wanted to be a ‘masochistic sub’ for her boyfriend #and went through a LOT of pain that she didnt enjoy in order to fit that category #only to be told that masochists do actually enjoy pain #and since she didnt enjoy the pain at all she wasnt actually a masochist #but she thought every other masochist was also putting themselves through legit trauma in order to fit into that box #she didnt know that kink isnt supposed to be about filling roles you dont like in order to satisfy another person #its about finding out what you actually enjoy and being able to communicate well enough to share that with other people who also enjoy it #basically im scared that this obsession with fitting a box is genuinely causing people to disregard their own boundaries #idk this is such a ramble

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