#but she sadly does not recognize enough of her own upbringing as fucked up

[alliswyattonthewesternfront]

i love telling people stories about my childhood because the rules my mother set down are so bonkers (and often contradictory) that it sounds like i'm making shit up on the spot. but she really does contain multitudes, what can i say.

[supercalifragilisaow]

A Suspension of Judgment

Please, if you read, read it all before commenting. I make several points, dependent on one another.

*Something on Morality* 

I’m just curious as to what kinds of relationships those of you who react so extremely have had. Yes, believe victims of abuse. Now, what is abuse for you? My definition of it doesn’t exactly come close to what Arryn’s definition is. I don’t deny this was undeniably the worst for her, and that Bob and Eliza, if this is true, even if only part of it is true, have some apologizing and reckoning to do with their own guilt. But in relationships, if I look at my and my friends, people sometimes yell, sometimes cheat, sometimes say things they regret. Don’t you know anyone whose relationship started as cheating? Because I know several, and while it’s never a good or moral thing to do, it’s out there. People recognize they’re in love with someone else, or they’d be better fit with someone else, and it hurts and it’s hard, but it’s really common, you all. I feel like most of the responses I see don’t make a difference between all the things. You’re ready to cancel two people completely because they cheated and it got ugly? 

I understand that you have to make the distinction between fantasy and what’s fiction and what isn’t, but I ask you to consider how many fanfic you’ve read where Bellarke cheat on their significant other with each other, and that was fine, because of some higher love or soulmate stuff. It’s possible - it perhaps looks this way - that Bob and Arryn had a good relationship but ultimately were not good for each other. They probably had good moments, excellent ones, and then poor ones, the ones she has chosen to describe, because she posted this as a reaction to abuse she got from fans, STILL, and also because she’s rightfully upset at Bob and Eliza. Perhaps she was completely blameless in everything, perhaps she wasn’t perfect either. I’m not saying she deserved it. To me, the abuse she received at the hand of the so-called Bellarke fans is way worse than the abuse she claims she received by her boyfriend at the time. Let me explain. It is horrendous that people did all these things. I don’t know to what extent Bob - with PR expectations from the show binding him, probably - could have really stopped that shit with the “fans”, but it was never ok and these were a bunch of childish assholes. It was constant when they were together, and it was still horrible when they broke things off. Many of them, I’m sure, will now be cancelling Bob and Eliza like they had no part in abusing this woman. The abuse one receives in a relationship, in my opinion, unless it’s really extreme, matters for others (=non-friends and family) to know only if it’s physical violence. The definition of emotional and verbal abuse is really blurry, and I’m certainly not going to cancel someone because they fought with their significant other. It would matter how constant this was, how bad the verbal abuse was. Don’t forget, I did say Bob probably has some serious apologizing to do. But does that make him a terrible man? Not for me. It makes him a flawed one (we knew that already), perhaps one that wants to do better. I know plenty of them, and believe me, there are many others who are terrible enough for all of them. 

 *Educating Men (sadly)*

I don’t think all of what she describes is “abuse”, and it’s my judgment call: there seems to be a good deal of her accepting things and realizing later she’d rather not be with someone like that. I don’t call that abuse. We all grow and realize things after the relationship is done. It’s good she realized all the choices she made to accommodate him. Bob was probably most of the time not like this, or she wouldn’t have stayed with him, and I don’t believe in burning someone at the stake because they’ve had bad days. Yes, I said bad days. Much studies on gender and how society engrains some things in us will tell you cis-men have more tendencies toward anger and toward expressing that anger explicitly than cis-women, because of the way we are treated differently as children. This is something cis-men who recognize that fact have to unlearn, and it is as difficult as unlearning anything. Unfortunately, it falls on some of us to educate these cis-men in a slow, painful process. Perhaps Eliza will be reaping the rewards of what went badly with Arryn. Don’t you know other relationships where that happened? I know several.

I find this situation similar to the Aziz Ansari case. Did he sound like a bit of a creepy man who you wouldn’t go on a second date with, who wasn’t a good listener and who took advantage of his fame to try and get dates with women? Definitely. Is he a disgusting pervert doubled with a serial sexual harasser and assaulter who should be cancelled like Weinstein? I don’t think so. If he’s learning now, if he’ll be better, then that’s fine by me. I’m sorry for the women who have to educate these cis-men. Fuck that noise, but it’s the life of post me too and post mainstream feminism. Not a bland “believe all victims, cancel all the accused”. 

*What could be public in all this*

The biphobia is bad. People start off in life with prejudices, as you know. I’m a person who learned and grew from prejudices and right wing upbringing to become what would be qualified here as radical left. Perhaps Bob learned after a few years. (Perhap he didn’t) The world is not the same now as it was even 5 years ago, in cultural, social terms, especially in LGBTQ terms. We all have to unlearn prejudices. I’d like to see Bob apologize for that at least, or address it in some way. The calling her pathetic is bad, I guess, but I’ve been called names too during fights, and I don’t consider myself abused. Perhaps she does, and I don’t blame her for that. I do blame anyone who’ll make this all in all private matter very public, and ruin lives for this. I’m sure the damage done to Arryn would have been much less if the fans had behaved like normal persons in the first place. It would just have been some deplorable drama that happens in life sometimes. She’ll find someone better for her. She’ll have boundaries that she didn’t before, about what she won’t or will do for or because of a partner. The gaslighting is bad, but nothing I haven’t heard of before when relationships go astray. Denying feelings (not ready to accept them, not wanting to lose her, who the hell knows why, for sure not us), meeting up in secret. Perhaps Bob and Arryn had both decided to move while he was in Vancouver so yes, she did everything like *women often do*, but perhaps he hadn’t decided to leave her yet, perhaps he wasn’t sure where this was going. People make mistakes, sometimes repeatedly. But for the love of ***, what is private and what is public??

It’s good for all of you to expect perfection of yourselves and of your partners. Sounds like you have great relationships (sometimes they become less good, too, none of what Arryn writes explains whether this was bad from the start or became bad): I’m just empathic of what goes on behind the scenes, and compassionate as to what brings people to do the things they do. It’s not our call to excuse or condemn anyone. If Arryn were my friend and she told me about all this, I’d support her 100% and call the guy an asshole, which would be deserved. As it is, she is not my friend, and i’m sick of this culture where this has to mean immediate cancellation for the persons involved just because they’re “celebrities”. You’re not a pervert or an evil person because you cheat. You’ve chosen to hurt someone and you deal with the private consequences of that (guilt, losing friends, etc) I’ve had friends (and I suspect a parent) who have cheated, and some who have been cheated on. I still think Bob is neither a bad nor a great person. So is Eliza, probably. They’d need to do way more for me to condemn them (like, politically, or, like I said before, an accusation of domestic violence or of actual gaslighting). As it is, it looks like a private matter taken public (again, only because fans have gotten involved in the very first place in HORRIBLE and ABUSIVE ways). I’m not mixing everything up. Arryn is not my friend and Bob and Eliza are not my friends; I don’t know these people. I don’t feel worse about them than I did before this came out, and I hope Arryn finds a way to heal from this. If it helps her to call his behavior abusive, and what Eliza and him did gaslighting, very well. But what followed seems a bit intense and out of proportion for me. I hope some of you agree. Let’s not forget: there are two sides to a story, there are many ways to live, there are many things to learn. 

Thanks for reading. 

[transmogrified-benmaxwell]

Why did you choose those specific zodiacs for the characters?:O

Sorry this took so long to respond to, but exams and finals have really been beating the literal shit out of me! I’m still glad you asked anon because I have lots of thoughts on this! Here’s the post anon is referring to in case anyone wants to see who is who.

Dallas: I don’t have too much to say since he’s already a Taurus, naturally I do see him more as a Pisces. Pisces tend to be the more gentle and compassionate of the signs and also tend to be more fearful in general as they are sensitive. They have a self sacrificing nature so that others will love them and not leave them and sometimes they become overly emotional when unable to cope with certain situations (i.e. Dallas being mad about Malek leaving to go to college even though he knows its irrational, but then not bringing it up because he’s self sacrificing his feelings to not make Malek upset).

Malek: If Malek isn’t a Gemini I don’t know who is. Like, this boy is a social butterfly which most Gemini’s naturally are and people are drawn to him. More often than not, people are attracted to his duality of a personality which enables him to be both intellectual (bitch wants to major in Bio-Chem and something else like double majoring and in such INTENSE fields???? He’s a fucking GENIUS) and creative/artistic (uhm??? he can sing and play three fucking instruments and even draws a little like??) which tends to be a trait of the twins. He’s well-spoken (boi speaks 3 languages and knows ASL come on now) and is funny/witty which is another trait people tend to like him for and is what makes Gemini’s more sociable. However, a downfall to the Gemini’s vast thinking is the persons indecisiveness. Malek can’t even decide at first if he really likes Dallas or is just pitying him and then when the feelings get stronger he can’t decide to tell him or how to act and it creates lots of conflict and doubt. Gemini’s don’t always have the easiest relationships because of their indecisiveness which leads to nervousness and I think is reflected a lot in Malek’s feelings for Dallas.

 Poppy: I know a lot of people kind of associate bad feelings with Scorpio’s, I actually think Poppy represents a lot of the good qualities neglected by other people that Scorpios have! Poppy is loyal to death and is very secretive in all the right ways (she literally is seeing both of her very close friends pinning over one another but shes too loyal to disclose the others secret even if something good could come out of it). She’s a strong and powerful force to be reckoned with which is why I think a majority of the baseball team respects her. However, sometimes her overwhelming passion and power are what can cause her to get confrontational (I know Poppy and Dallas have had a few hashing outs that were ugly and this makes sense for the two signs as Poppy can get jealous and resentful while Dallas can be sensitive and overemotional which can make the signs clash occasionally). At the end of the day though, Poppy really just has an overly protective and passionate heart and like most Scorpios, just really freaking wants some love. 

Parker: I thought Parker might be a Taurus, but after reading about all the signs I really found him to be a Libra. Libra’s are naturally the peace keepers of the group and have an affinity for beauty and harmony. Maybe Parker doesn’t actually go out of his way to make peace, but his common neutrality towards situations (literally one post I remember is he’s just like “I love both cats and dogs can we all get along” when discussing who was a cat or dog person I think? it really solidified this idea) and choosing to recognize both sides helps everyone feel balanced and maybe even wanna get along even if it’s just for his sake (not that they all fight or anything that frequently?). Parker’s absolute adoration for nature and hiking and the outside makes sense with the Libra sign as they have a thing for peace and beauty which can both be seen in nature through Parker’s eyes. Also, his general charming sweet nature can totally be seen by everyone (uhm let us not forget how Shook Tyler was when Parker gave him the honey lemony thing with ease bc Parker is a sweetheart and even though he’s shy, he can lowkey be a charmer without knowing it). His downfalls are seen in the Libra sign as he’s prone to being able to see both sides to any situation, but this can leave him feeling voiceless as sometimes people have a black and white way of thinking. He often retreats and gives up when conflict arises and lets others voice over him, rather than actually giving his peacemaking opinions. I believe he’s also got a strong empathetic nature which can be a downfall when it leads him to being manipulated or guilted into believing things very easily. 

Ben: Hmm Ben was harder as I don’t have too much information on my boi yet, but I found him to be like a Sagittarius because of his good humor and natural friendliness. Everyone likes him and everyones his friend because we’re all attracted to his humorous nature and positive outlook on most situations, however, I think maybe this is what can cause him to repress lots of his feelings. His willingness to be positive for others and neglect his personal needs can cause him to ignore his own feelings to make sure he isn’t bringing anyone down? I’m not sure, I’d have to know more and so this is my guess, but if this is it then he’s likely a Sagittarius as they often forget to tend to their own needs when trying to be sunshine for everyone else and never wanting to lose the positivity their friends/family bring them.

Blake: Aside from Malek’s, I think Blake’s was the easiest sign to critically evaluate and put out there because he’s so OBVIOUSLY a freaking Cancer. Those under the Cancer sign are absolute softies and are so freaking lovable, but sadly, you can only see this side of the sign if you get close enough to break through their hard, grumpy outer layer. More often than not, Cancer’s have a hard time expressing their real emotions and this can partially explain Blake’s “I hate everyone” personality because it’s so much easier to pretend he hates everyone else when really he just can’t talk about how much he hates himself. This can also help explain Blake having negative feelings towards Dallas because Dallas is more sensitive and isn’t quite on the same level of hiding emotions as Blake is and how Blake might see it as is, here is this kid who’s open (somewhat) about his feelings which is pathetic and is loved more than he is meanwhile Blake’s putting all his emotions and feelings in the closet to not burden those around him and he’s regarded as an asshole. Another downfall of the Cancer sign that Blake has is his clinginess because afterall, once he finds someone he can actually open up to, it’s hard for him to ever want to let go of the one person that brings that out of him. This can really make him look like a needy, grumpy jerk, but honestly this boi just wants some love and relief my guys. Just some more little things, Cancer signs are so imaginative and loving/protective and this can be seen in his love for theater and literature, and his way of treating those he’s especially close close to.

Tyler: Lmao lowkey made Tyler a Taurus because it’s got a very nice compatibility with the Cancer sign and I’m Gay™, but also not the only reason. The Taurus sign is a stubborn one, much like the Bull that represents it. This can be both good and bad as he’s stubborn when it comes to arguing and fighting, but this can be great when the person of the sign is on your side of things as they are fiercely loyal and willing to be patient with those willing to try and he’s very reliable. This is kinda shown in Tyler’s friendship (hhMMMM 👀) with Blake as he stubbornly cares about Blake despite his negative tendencies and stays loyally by his side. This somewhat leads to Tyler enabling Blake as once said in a post, but Tyler can’t help it under the Taurus sign because once he’s become attached he’ll do whatever he can to make his partner happy (even if it’s not always by the best means). This can lead to some self sacrificing which the Taurus sign will happily do (only if they want to though, never by force they are too stubborn for that) and kinda explains why Tyler enables Blake despite his better opinion and sacrifices being batter so that Blake can. Much like the Taurus sign he craves stability and some kind of routine, but also too much can be boring.

Phoebus: Okay don’t judge me for this but essentially, my first reasoning for making Phoebus an Aries was because I saw this pun about Aries signs that always “ram” through their problems LOL and it led me to just think this is how Phoebus battled through his osteosarcoma. Literally just slammed his head at test results in doctors offices until they changed to healthier ones. Aside from that idiotic note, Phoebus is witty and confident much like the Aries sign which is what causes him to clash with Malek when he acts all foolhardy and shit. If Malek and him could stop being so competitive, you’d actually find they’d be pretty compatible friends (or lovers???). He’s energetic and full of an adventurous attitude which will likely lead our poor mans in trouble. RIP

Dev: I don’t really know, in a lot of ways Dev just kinda reminds me of Malek and this leads me to connect them as Gemini bros. Dev is charismatic and a social butterfly and those are some high characteristics of the Gemini sign since they’re supposed to be the best communicators. 

Noah: I solely made Noah a Leo because Leo’s tend to have an almost pretentious nature around them as they tend to think highly of themselves (not all Leo’s, lmao not here to offend anyone!) and having the upbringing Noah does it only makes sense. He’s not afraid to speak his mind which is both beneficial (he helped our eggman the greg man when he stood up to his father) and negative (I wouldn’t say he probably hasn’t offended a ton of people in his time). A positive though is he’s clearly “creative” much like the Leo sign with his making movies and stuff.

Paulina: We really know nothing about Paulina yet, all we know is she is absolutely stunning and has the purest smile. I really just want her to be a sensitive Pisces because they can be the most caring and endearing sign of all and if I get to see that smile forever because she is constantly being a sweetheart than I will die accepting her as a Pisces taking it to the grave.

Charlie: We also don’t know a lot about Charlie, but since she is the team manager I put her as a Sagittarius under the assumption that she can at least be somewhat disciplined and is really good at organizing and being productive. I assume she is ambitious and maybe in my minds eye I like to imagine her as a sweet ol’ grouchy pants so pessimism is her Thing™

Sara: I’m all for loud and proud shameless lesbians so I was reading up on Virgo’s and the word comes from the word Virgin which by original definition meant ‘beholden to no man’ so my gay ass starts kicking and I am like, yes yes Sara is a Virgo die hard lesbian who will never bow down to the cis white man! But aside from that nonsense, Virgo’s tend to be independent creatures and this is a vibe I get from my girl Sara, she probably keeps lots of things unsaid about herself whether from shyness or past drama or both. However, she’s not so independent that she is uncaring or unloving and she likely tends to fret over the others wellbeing when they act foolish or put themselves at risk (i.e. my girl Sara will take a baseball to the face for Poppy 2k17 its time to ride or die bitch theres no going back)

Ari: Maybe I’m just biased towards Capricorns but I just see them as the grouchy “i love you now shut the fuck up” types and this is what I get from Ari. Much like other Capricorns, it’s difficult for Ari to express their feelings ESPECIALLY ones of affection (Ari “I’m allergic to loving expression pls don’t ever smile that fondly at me again I might vomit” Florenosos). Instead, due to the hiccup in miscommunication, they tend to relay their feelings using other likely troubling means (i.e. Ari bullying Phoebus to show affection lmao same). 

Wendy: Honestly Wendy’s feminist ride or die attitude is what led me to Aquarius because this sign tends to be the humanitarian of the signs and strive for equality in all aspects of life. She freaking defaced school property to prove a point my guys she’s a freaking Aquarius like only the Aquarius sign goes that hard and to such lengths to make sure their voice is heard.

Greg: Gregman the Eggman is a Virgo because he’s hella shy and independent. Boy can’t speak for himself for shit but often makes sure to look out for others (i.e. making sure Noah doesn’t do dumb shit and protecting the five foot weasel even though he can’t communicate the problematic things said weasel does). He’s practical and analytical and this often is what leads others to dismiss him as boring because he’s too shy to show any other side of himself or his interests. All in all, the eggman needs better friends and to erupt from his yolk filled shell.

Welp that’s pretty much all I got. I could literally be on the ball or so far from the truth that Bell is literally laughing their ass off at my poor attempt at analyzing these characters. NEVERTHELESS, I tried and here you go. Go read eerie crests here and thank/support the precious author and artist @littlestpersimmon for the content we get