#but she has in fact been there for me all along into the happiest year of my life last year and probably this year
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ART WRAPPED ON BEETLE AND THE HOLLOWBONES 2, BEETLE AND THE CHIMERA CARNIVAL
#beetle and the hollowbones#after an unavoidable year and a half of publisher delay and two and a half years of insane work#at over 350 pages PAINTED#with the lifesaving help of my friends#and through in my personal life tremendous growth and tremendous literal real world peril#not to get too TOO personal!!#but she has in fact been there for me all along into the happiest year of my life last year and probably this year#i am so excited for you to see this and most of all for kids to read it
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╰┈➤ ❝ desire • l.n c.l ❞ xi
part ten - part twelve
➪ Charles hasn't paid much attention to you after your daughter was born but a certain Brit does.
➪ charles finally realizes things between you and lando are in fact serious.
➪ mom!reader x dad!Charles x lando
➪ sorry this took so long :') charles needs professional help <3
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milliexoxo
liked by y/nusername, logansargeant and 5,784 others
milliexoxo okay but my mom speaks italian
tagged: landonorris, y/nusername, carlossainz55
view all 583 comments
norrizz NAH MISS ZOE LECLERC SIT DOWN IM NOT READY FOR YOU TO STAND
↳ yukisan HONESTLY WHATS NEXT WALKING?!
bott_ass HAVE Y'ALL NOT SEEN MILS LATEST VLOG SHE DOES WALK ALREADY
norrizz NAH SEDATE ME IM NOT READY FOR THIS
norry4 Y'ALL FORGOT ITS HER 1ST BIRTHDAY IN LIKE 2 WEEKS?!
landoscar look at mom and dad :(
julieeeexo refuse to believe that's zoë, why is she growing so fast?!
carlandooo carlos and zoë?! 🥺
↳ sharl16 charles punching air rn 😂
charliecharlie aw I'm becoming the biggest y/nlando shipper 😩
logansargeant love the new haircut. 🔥
↳ hamilt44n asjklmsks arianna what are you doing here?!
grussell63 @.y/nusername help your kid out 😭
landonorizzzz pls @.y/nusername adopt logan as well 😭
landofourr wait is this considered a y/nlando hard launch?
↳ chilisainz girl they don't need a hard launch, it's so obvious with everything they do 💀
versainz155 carlos casually hanging out with lando and his little family is what I'm living for <3
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y/nusername posted to their story
charles_leclerc replied to your story
charles_leclerc
Where's zoë?
y/nusername
with millie
charles_leclerc
What hotel are you staying in?
y/nusername
we rented a place, zoë is not stuck in a hotel room if that's what you're hinting at, she's able to crawl and walk around all she want.
charles_leclerc
You go on a lot of dates with lando and leave zoë with someone else
y/nusername
you're joking, right?
you're becoming a real asshole, Charles
get a grip
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y/nusername
liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell and 768,523 others
y/nusername quando in Italia 🧀 🍝 (when in italy)
tagged: landonorris, milliexoxo
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norry4 not the bucket hat, my girl has been hanging around with lando to much 😩
milliexoxo I told y'all my mom speaks Italian
↳ charlesgirlies your 'mom' speaks Italian because her baby daddy is half italian
oscarpastry charles is not half Italian 💀
charlesgirlies girl, he is in spirit lmao
bobnorriz lando and zoë content y'all 🥰
norstappen not really sure if I like the fact zoë is walking but okay..rude :(
el645 when are you going to admit you cheated on charles?
↳ hamilt44n oh god the stalker made its way to insta 💀
yukisan when is charles going to admit he cheated on y/n?
el645 aren't yall curious why they broke up?
charlescharles dude we don't need to know why they broke up? 🤡
landonorris been cooking with my best friend 💜
↳ hamiltonh SHUT UP 😭😭 😭
milliexoxo close to turning a year and still a better cook than you
bott_ass girl you're never going to get along with your stepdad if you keep bullying him like this
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y/nusername
📍 Nice, France
liked by milliexoxo, maxfewtrell and 675,458 others
y/nusername a year ago the tiniest little girl changed my life for the better, happy 1st birthday to our silly little bear ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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bott_ass happy birthday zoë!
maxfewtrell happy 1st birthday to my best friend ❤️
riabish happy birthday pretty girl! 💜💜
logansargeant happy 1st birthday zoë!
↳ hamilt44n I love this, I hope y/n adopted Logan 🥺
milliexoxo my silly little girlfriend, hope you have the happiest of birthdays! <3
carlossainz55 happy birthday to the funniest girl ❤️
norrizz this girlie is so loved 😭 happy b-day little princess! 😍
el645 funny for someone who didn't want a kid in the first place
↳ chilisainz Noelle get your ass out of here
norry4 man's must be blind, this woman LOVES her daughter
lando happy birthday to our little bear 🐻
↳ y/nusername ❤️❤️
landonorris ❤️❤️
yukisan everyday I come on this app and cry :(
charles16 Monaco gp week? Nah, it's been Zoë her week ❤️
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y/nusername
liked by milliexoxo, maxfewtrell and 698,452 others
y/nusername the bestest company. <3
tagged: milliexoxo, logansargeant, landonorris, liamlawson30
yukisan Logan had been officially adopted 😭
↳ grussell63 and Liam & his girlfriend?! 😭
lewisham Liam and y/n gave little brother big sister vibes back when Liam took dr3 his seat for a while, I'm not surprised!
norrizz I don't think y'all realize y/n started socialising way more after she left charles, I wonder with who she's hanging out with 👀
landoscar lando and oscar content thank you queen!!!!
norry4 mom and dad with their kids <3
chilisainz wonder where the die hard y/ncharles shippers are right now..
↳ yukisan probably still skipping around in delululand
mcnorris lads, she's still dating charles, lando and y/n are just friends...duh 🤪
yukisan if that's what it's like to have lando as just a friend, can I have him as a friend as well 😭
lawsonbaby LIAM?! CANT WAIT TO SEE THE VLOG
carlando they're insta official 🥺
maxfewtrell cute but where am I?
↳ milliexoxo this post is meant for the cute people..
landonorris and yet you're in it..
milliexoxo 😲
y/nusername contrary to popular beliefs, I'm actually nice and didn't want to turn you into another meme
maxfewtrell I appreciate that, thanks mate ❤️
nortrell MATE?! Best buds these two 😭
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Desire taglist; @fangirl-dot-cm @sainzluvrr @writingworlds @chezmardybum @lewisvinga @xjval @fanficweasley @rockyhayzkid @aundercover @thecubanator2 @minchedchilli @crimeshowjunkie @alisoncasey21 @eeviepepi08 @shamelesspotatos @sleepybrokenmelle @leireggsworld @janeholt3 @iamahalicinationn @dessxoxsworld @kapsylia @22yuki @dark-night-sky-99 @sheslikeacurse @nerdreader
Everything taglist; @thomaslefteyebrow @hopefulinlove @smoothopz @softboystarkey @honethatty12 @cixrosie @parkersmjs @ireadthensuetheauthors @celestialams @be-your-coffee-pot @heli991113 @kodzuvk @reality-is-a-con @80sloverry @bibissparkles @myescapefromthislife @lanando4 @elliegrey2803 @ravisinghs-wife @harrysdimple05 @minkyungseokie @pretty-little-bunny382728 @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @severewobblerlightdragon @cherry-piee @namgification @mycenterfold @devineendevers @celestialend
Lando taglist: @beatricemiruna @simp-for-fictional-people @landossainz @christianpulisic10 @bored-brunette2 @i83andrew @mcmuppet @justdreamersdream
#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#lando norris#charles leclerc#lando norris smau#charles leclerc smau#lando norris fanfic#charles leclerc fanfic#f1 x reader#formula one x reader#lando x reader#charles x reader
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without you + one
authors note: hi, friends! so this is a foundational first chapter, meaning its intended to lay down a blueprint. there may or may not be some foreshadowing.....
but let me just say this. i have no intentions on drastically changing anyone's characterization from book one. e.g. joe has always only had eyes for reader. that won't change. he's all about his family.
do not read this story if you haven't read 'with me'. it won't work as a standalone.
warnings: language, some angst, fluff, and suggestive themes
song inspo: be without you by mary j. blige
words: 5k
Two weeks.
It’s been two weeks since your life was forever changed in a night of pure magic.
Two weeks since the love of your life proposed to you in the most beautiful way in the most beautiful place on earth surrounded by the most beautiful people.
Just thinking about it still brings on chills and goosebumps. It might just be one of the happiest nights of your life.
And even returning home, being with your family, enjoying your pregnancy has continued on the theme of love and contentment.
It’s almost nearly perfect except for one little thing. One tiny little human you just so happened to have created who seems to think that she has first dibs on a certain fiancé of yours at any given point and time.
Callie has been loving every single second of Joe being home on indefinite leave, and while you’re happy for her, happy for him that they have the time to spend together, it’s like she wants to spend all of her time with Joe.
And that’s fine, except for the fact it’s like she doesn’t want you around at all.
They’re playing tea party and she hits you with the, “mommy, it’s for daddies only.”
He’s having her help him cook, and she hits you with, “mommy, you can’t cook.”
She’s suckered him into watching Moana with her for the 18th time, and she hits you with, “mommy, I wanna watch it with daddy.”
Sis is beyond possessive. It’s gotten to the point where you almost feel jealous of your own damn child. An absolutely asinine thing to think, let alone feel.
It’s why when Joe jogs down the steps after getting her down for her nap, you grab him by his shirt and yank him into the office.
He’s understandably confused. “Y/N, what the hell?”
You bring your finger to his mouth, silencing him. “Not so loud. You’ll wake her up.”
“And?”
Lord, Jesus. This may be harder than you thought. “And she needs her sleep, and we need time to talk.”
That seems to help him reason a bit better. “Okay.”
Pouting, you take him by surprise, shuffling into his chest as his arms naturally move around you. “I miss you.”
He chuckles, kissing the top of your head. “I’ve been here, baby.”
“You know what I mean.” Pulling back, he brushes his thumb across your bottom lip. “I miss spending time with you. Just the two of us.” Realizing how that could sound, you quickly clarify. “Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing you spend so much time with Callie, and obviously, she loves it too. But your lil’ bodyguard doesn’t seem to want mama to have any time alone with daddy.”
And it’s the truth. It fills your heart with so much joy to see the beautiful bond and relationship they’ve developed in not even a year. They’re inseparable.
But that doesn’t negate the fact that you miss spending time with him too.
“And we haven’t had sex since in over a week. A week, Joe. I can’t go that long without your dick. You know this.” He smiles, big hand laying on your baby bump. Like this shit is funny. Like it’s amusing that you’re going through dickdrawl. “That’s not funny, you asshole. If I have to make myself come one more time instead of you, I might just lose my shit.”
“I get it,” he finally shares, hand moving along the small of your back. “I miss you too. Miss my pussy…”
His voice drawls into something teasing, and it makes your pussy flutter. See, just his voice alone has you feening. Groaning, you mutter, while trying to settle yourself, “and it doesn’t help that she’s been sleeping with us.”
Calista is only four-years-old, so it’s natural for her to want to sleep with you and Joe. And you don’t mind that, don’t mind giving her that comfort. It’s just that it’s been every night since you returned from Disney. Not only that, when Joe gets up, she likes to get up. Even to the point where he'll just be working out in the gym, and she still wants to be around him, sitting on the floor talking to him or just playing on her tablet.
She’s even fallen asleep one time in the gym, with him having to stop his workout to bring her to her bed that she woke up from and managed to scamper her cute self right back into bed with you.
It’s just been…..a lot in some ways.
He nods, suddenly suggesting, “maybe we can try talking to her.”
“And what are we supposed to tell her, huh?” You’re legitimately all ears for any recommendations on how to word it. “Callie Bear, you’re spending too much time with your daddy.” Even saying it in a mocking tone feels wrong, giving you a sort of itch. “I’m not trying to have our child in therapy because of shit we caused her.”
“And you say I’m dramatic.” He rolls his eyes, emphasizing his point. “She’s a smart kid. I think if we just talk with her about how we have to share time with each other—”
“Ha. Share. That’s funny. That girl don’t wanna share you with air, let alone another human being.” It’s a partial joke, partial truth. A frown suddenly falls on your face as you think this over more. “You think something’s going on with her?”
If you didn’t have his attention before, you definitely have it now. “What do you mean?”
Shrugging, you do your best to explain what you don’t quite fully understand. “I don’t know. She’s always been super attached to you, but it’s been more intense lately. Like she’s holding on even tighter. Like—”
“Like she’s scared to let go,” he finishes for you, deep voice settling into something almost despondent. “You think she’s scared I’m gonna leave or something?”
It’s a bit of a stretch but also something you can’t entirely rule out. “Maybe.” With a new sort of determination, you advise. “You’re right. We do need to talk to her.” And for completely different reasons than when you first dragged him in for that conversation. You just want to make sure your baby girl is okay.
That’s the only thing that matters.
On the topic of Callie, you’re reminded of something. “Oh my god.” Gasping, you move away from him. “I didn’t get a chance to show you.”
Curious, he asks, “show me what?”
You reach for his hand, walking over to the desk that’s almost entirely done with being set up and open the first drawer. Grabbing the still unopened envelope, you reach it to him, a small smile on your face. “I wanted to let you open it.”
Joe is understandably confused until he flips the envelope over and sees the sender. His expression immediately softens. “Is this—”
Nodding, you share, “it came in the mail yesterday, but it just slipped my mind to tell you.” He doesn’t say anything, instead focused on opening the envelope as he carefully pulls out the certificate.
Callie’s new and updated birth certificate.
Moving closer to him, you snuggle yourself into his chest as he uses one hand to open and read the document you two have been waiting on for nearly a month now. Everything has stayed the same except for one section, that one section bringing on all of the feels for him. For both of you.
Father/Parent’s Name.
The section that was once blank now reads in printed, black, unerasable ink: Leati Joseph Anoa'i.
You can just feel the immense love and happiness emanating off his big being. He doesn’t need a piece of paper to tell him that he’s Callie’s father. You know that. But this is the piece of paper that gives him all the legal rights as Callie’s father, the rights he should have had from the very beginning.
Holding onto him just a little tighter, loving him a little harder, you murmur against his chest, “now it’s always as it should have been.”
—---------
“I’m thinking strippers. One on each side of the aisle. Shawty throwing ass to the left, and shawty shaking titties on the right.”
Any conversation with Alexis is bound to venture into the deepest parts of fuckery, but this has to be a new level. “You want me to have strippers at my wedding?”
She’s looking at you like she can’t understand what’s so crazy about her proposal. “Yeah, what’s wrong with that?”
Eyes widening, you lean over the counter that’s littered with countless bride magazines and her Macbook Air. “It’s my wedding, Lex.”
“And?” She shakes her head, stirring some of her chocolate pudding. “You love strippers.”
“I do, but that doesn’t mean I want them at my wedding.”
She’s rolling her eyes, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she murmurs, “if you wanted to have a boring ass white people type wedding, you should have just said that.”
You laugh. Wedding planning was always something you imagined doing with your closest friends, and while you’re thankful to have Alexis here as your support and interim wedding planner (because you’re still very much on the fence about that), her tendency to do the most is definitely obscuring her view of logic and what makes sense.”
“I don’t want a white people wedding, per se. I just don’t want anything too crazy.” That’s the best description you can give, because this is all so new to you. You naturally play with the stunning engagement ring on your finger. Part of that confusion is because you’re still a bit stuck on the fact that you’re actually engaged.
To the literal love of your life, at that.
A dream that’s become a reality.
It still feels a little too good to be true.
“Fair, I guess.” She doesn’t seem to agree that it’s fair but won’t push either. “Well, have you at least thought about where you want to get married?”
That, you actually have. Once upon a time, it was in your hometown. Now, you’d rather not get married at all if that was your only option. “I’m thinking here.”
“Florida?” You nod. “Wow. Okay, any particular reason why?”
Shrugging, you answer, grabbing a chunk of pineapple from your fruit bowl. “I don’t know. Joe’s family is already here. It’s easy for my mom to catch a flight out. And anyone else I’d like to attend would have to fly here too anyway. Plus, this place is really beautiful.”
The fact that life has only been up since moving here to be with Joe is a major plus too. But, that doesn’t necessarily feel like it needs to be outright stated.
“Got it.” She starts typing on her laptop, and you have no doubt she’s already created a Google Doc to track everything. It’s one of many things you love about Alexis. She may be crazy as hell, but when she’s on it, she’s on it. “Now, the biggest thing, maybe the most important thing, is gonna be the date.”
“Date?”
She nods, “yeah, like when you want to have the wedding.”
Fuck. As silly as it may sound, you hadn’t even thought about that. Still so caught up in the high of actually being engaged to your soulmate.
Alexis continues, “I’m guessing after the school arrives.”
You roll your eyes. “What did I tell you about calling them that?”
“Okay, the brood.”
“Alexis!”
She throws her hands up. “Don’t get mad at me cause the freaks freaked too much and now ya’ll starting your own little tribe.”
A heavy sigh leaves your mouth as Alexis continues to go in on you over your multiples pregnancy. For the most part, you’ve really come to accept and be okay with it. There are times though where your mind gravitates toward the childbirth portion, and your vagina literally starts to ache at just the thought of that trauma.
Shaking your head and pushing away those thoughts, you return to the conversation at hand. “That’s a good point. I don’t want to walk down the aisle big and pregnant.”
“Exactly.” She types some more. “When is Joe going back to work?” Another great question that you don’t have the answer for. “Oh my god, Y/N, girl, just what do you know?”
“He just said it was indefinite leave!” You throw out in defense of your lack of knowledge. “Definitely not before the babies get here, so after September?”
“And you know he’s not gonna leave you alone with three newborns to take care of, so I can see him staying off air for at least a couple more months.”
That makes sense. “But, he’ll have to be back in time for WrestleMania, I’d imagine.”
“Most definitely. Didn’t you see that one promo he did? Roman Reigns is WrestleMania.” A smile falls on your face. You most definitely did see that promo. It’s one of your favorites that he’s cut. “But the next one isn’t until April, I think.”
“So maybe January?” The smile shifts into a scowl. “He can’t be gone that long though. The fans would lose it.” Thinking back to the Smackdown clips you saw on social media, you point out, “they’re already chanting ‘we want Roman.’”
It’s a bit bittersweet seeing Smakdown clips without Roman, seeing someone else hold his championship belt. But then you think about what that sacrifice gave you, what Joe giving up his title has awarded you, and it takes away some of the sting of it all.
You also feel a bit better knowing Joe is still playing an active role in the Bloodline, just behind the scenes.
She sucks her teeth. “Ain’t that about a bitch? They fake asses acting like they weren’t the main ones wanting Cody to finish the story.” Alexis' borderline anger makes you laugh a little. “Oooh, Joe nice, cause the way I would give them the middle finger, retire, and live out my life with my fine ass wife and 12 children.”
Your eyes widen. “Don’t even put that out there, please.” You've definitely learned now about the power of the tongue. “If I was carrying any more than three children, I might just die.”
“Naw. Childbirth would do that for you.”
“Alexis!”
“Shit, sorry, too dark?” Lord, this girl really has no filter sometimes. “Do you guys want more kids after this? Like, forreal?”
Alexis, despite all of her shenanigans, seems to be on point with the questions. “I don’t know—”
“You don’t know?” That seems to be the answer that actually has her floored the most out of anything else ya’ll have discussed this afternoon thus far. “Bitch, this man put three children in you. Three. You really trying to risk that happening again?”
“Of course not. I just—I don’t know. I don’t think I can really answer that right now. Maybe once we learn the sexes, cause what if they’re all girls?” The likelihood of that happening has to be slim to none, but just like multiples of this quantity can be an anomaly, so can all of one sex. “I want to give him a son.”
Truthfully, you’re praying hard that at least one of them is a boy. You know Joe will love the kids the same. Fully and without inhibition, regardless of sex. But, not only do you want to have a little boy for your own reasons, but being able to continue on Joe’s lineage, maybe even passing down his name to your son would mean even more.
Of course, Alexis is quick with the dumbass suggestion. “Make one of them a tomboy.”
You close your eyes, forcefully stabbing the next chunk of pineapple. “Alexis, I swear to God.”
She leans back in her seat, adjusting her top. “All I know is if you think I’m babysitting four kids, you are sadly mistaken. I’ll take care of my little Cal Gal, but these other newbies are gonna have to prove themselves.”
“Newbies? They’re gonna be literal babies, Lex.”
“And? My beef is rated E for everyone, newborn babies included.”
Lord, this woman is giving you a headache. “I guess there’s a lot I still need to discuss with Joe first before we actually get into planning.”
“Agreed.” It’s a conversation you’re almost not looking forward to simply for the mere fact you don’t want to start thinking too much about Joe’s leave ending. Just wanna enjoy the here and now. But, you know it’s something that needs to be done. “Make sure to ask him about the strippers too.”
“Alexis!”
—-------
As he has almost every day since the start of his vacation, Joe handles dinner for you and Callie. Well, mostly you, since little Ms. ma’am insists upon helping Joe cook, and he insists upon you resting when you make the mistake of telling him you’re experiencing heartburn. It’s a common symptom given you’re about two weeks away from hitting four months and something you experienced when you were pregnant with Callie.
However, he takes all necessary, or maybe, unnecessary precautions, having you sit and rest in the living room, watching some random station while he works in unison with your firstborn to prepare dinner.
He makes grilled fish with a side of rice and broccoli for the vegetable. It makes you laugh every time he encourages and tries to convince Callie that she needs to eat her veggies or else she’ll never grow. Sis looks like she doesn’t entirely believe him but takes the plunge anyhow. Plus, better him than you trying to convince her.
You’ll let him take that battle gladly.
And while he cleans up the kitchen, handles putting all the leftover food away, you tackle Callie’s nighttime routine, specifically her bubble bath, hygiene, and hair. Her bath takes a little longer than usual, somewhat because of your bump, but mostly because with her new disney princess themed bedroom came an attached disney princess themed bathroom. This includes a shit ton of bubble bath additives that any kid would love, many of which she suckered her daddy into buying during your Disney trip.
You don’t even want to know how much that man spent on Callie in that one week timespan. It seemed like everything she saw she wanted, and he wasted no time in pulling out his black card, buying it for her.
You can only pray she remains sweet and humble with a daddy like Joe who’s seemingly hellbent on spoiling her rotten.
Getting her in her pajamas and securing her bonnet over her head after putting her curls into a pineapple is the easy part, and she’s nearly bursting at the seams to get out the bathroom door for a reason you already know and don’t need to ask.
Cause as soon as you’re done, she’s like a speeding bullet, rushing out her bathroom and room, straight into yours.
“Daddy?”
By the time you get everything back and put away, she’s found her target. Joe is sitting on your bed, Callie tucked into his side with her chosen bedtime book in hand. She surprises you though when she looks up and smiles brightly. “You can come too, mommy.”
This has to be your first invite in at least a week, and it makes you genuinely smile as well.
“Thank you, baby.” There’s not an ounce of hesitation as you move over to the other side of the bed, climbing in with them. A brief shared look with Joe gives you the signal you need to jumpstart the conversation you’ve been thinking about all day. “Callie, daddy and I actually wanna talk to you about something.”
Instantly, she’s frowning, pouting almost as she snuggles closer into Joe’s chest. “I don’t want to talk.”
This makes you frown, as Joe also looks taken back by her response. He rubs gentle circles along her back. “Callie Bear, what’s going on with you?”
You pick up on her hesitant reply the same way you’re sure Joe does. “Nothing.”
Placing a comforting hand on her arm, you softly point out some of the things that have led to this conversation. “Calista, I’ve noticed you’ve been spending a lot of time with daddy. And you sometimes don’t even want me to spend time with ya’ll.” Licking your lips, you do your best to keep your voice as calm and soothing as possible. “Are you…are you maybe scared about something?”
And it’s when she looks at you for a second, that fear flashing in her eyes, you know that’s what it is. Something has her nervous.
Hating that something is bothering her and especially that she’s keeping it in, you whisper, “Please tell us, baby.”
And it’s Joe holding her a little tighter along with your gentle coaxing that seems to do it, seems to break down that wall that hides her truth. She sniffles, “I don’t want daddy to leave again.”
“Calista…” You hate seeing her so sad, but you especially hate seeing and hearing the pain in Joe’s face and voice at the fact that he’s indirectly the reason for her sadness. “Baby girl, I’m not going anywhere right now, remember? I’m staying here with you and mommy.”
You’re thankful he doesn’t really highlight the fact that he will eventually have to go back to work. Callie isn’t stupid. She knows this, but it’s not what she needs to hear right now.
And your chest tightens as she sadly points out to Joe a trauma you still haven’t had the space to fully process. “But those people took me from mommy, and I couldn’t see her.” Eyes glossing over, it breaks your heart to hear that she still thinks about that. That being separated from you the way she was is still impacting her. “What if they take me and I can’t see you or mommy?” She adds on in a way that twists the dagger in your chest, “or they make you leave me like they made mommy leave me?”
At that, he pulls her onto his lap, carefully lifting her chin to make her look at him. “Calista, listen to me, sweetheart. No one could ever take you away from me or your mom. Ever.” He speaks with such conviction and determination. He needs her to believe what she’s saying. You both do. “You’re our little girl.”
“He’s right. I know…I know that scared you, but your daddy and I aren’t going anywhere. We promise.” Reaching over to cup her face, you ask in a way that’s more telling than questioning. “That’s why you’ve been wanting to sleep with us.”
She nods, quietly explaining. “I don’t want you to be gone when I wake up.”
“Oh, baby.” you reach for her and she climbs over to you, hugging you tight, head against your chest. “Daddy and I are gonna be here for you, always, okay? No matter what.” Chuckling a bit, you wipe the tears from her eyes. “Even when you’re all grown up and don’t need us anymore.”
She looks between ya’ll, almost wide eyed. “Noooo.” She reaches for Joe who moves closer to the two of you. “You’re my mommy and daddy. I’ll always need my mommy and daddy.”
Her innocence warms your heart. You love this little girl so much. More than words.
“We love you, Callie.” Joe kisses her forehead as she holds onto his arm.
“I love you guys too.” Her voice is less laid down with that big weight she was carrying around, and it makes you happy to know she feels a bit better, a bit more secure. “Can–can I still sleep with you guys tonight?”
“Of course, baby.” The answer is easy. Knowing now why she’s wanted to stay so close, it would feel almost cruel to deprive her of that comfort. “Of course you can.”
—-------
Megan Lowery is having a shit day.
Beyond a shit day, really.
The first issue being that her stupid alarm didn’t go off. A classic nuisance that almost everyone has experienced at one point or another.
Except for her.
She’s never had her good old faithful iPhone alarm not get her up in time to tackle the day, until this morning, which has since only gravitated from bad to worse.
Because of course her coffee machine decided to act up. Any other time, she’d have zero issue brewing her morning cup of Joe, but not this morning. No, this morning she was forced to forgo her addiction of almost twenty years nor did she have the time to stop and buy a cup due to already running late because of her dumbass alarm glitching.
And the shitty day couldn’t be completed without some asshole bumping into her and spilling their deliciously smelling coffee all over her Free People blouse.
Put plain and simple, it’s a bad day, and she’s already over it before it even hits 1pm.
It’s why she sits in her meeting, doodling on her legal pad instead of listening to what probably could have been an email.
“Lowery!”
Megan jumps in her seat, eyes scanning the room of coworkers who sit watching her carefully. She clears her throat. “Sir?”
Luke, her boss, crosses his arms. “Am I boring you?”
Yes. “No sir, of course not.”
“I think I am.” Megan has never liked Luke. A product of nepotism, his father created the casting company she works for back in the eighties where he grew it to the major success it is today, only to pass it down to his son a few years ago after ailing health. And while Luke isn’t a bad CEO, per se, he’s not the funny, down to earth type like his old man.
No. The man is a Grade A asshole sometimes.
And this seems to be one of those times.
“Then what was I discussing?”
Fuck. Megan has always hated looking stupid, and she’s usually pretty good at both paying and not paying attention. But without her coffee, it’s damn near impossible to achieve that feat.
“Actually, sir, Megan was just whispering some ideas to me for how we can get Reigns to sign on.”
Megan shoots a vicious look to her work bestie, Paige. She smiles, her perfectly white teeth a stark contrast to her tanned, freckled complexion. “She’s got some great ideas too.”
Luke is smirking, and she knows that he knows Paige is blowing air up his ass. That doesn’t stop him from having his fun though. “Perfect, then I suppose you won’t have any issues taking on the assignment.”
Megan swallows. She doesn’t even know what this assignment is. But the thought of letting her asshole boss get one over on her literally makes her nauseous. With a steel smile, she accepts, “Of course not.”
“Perfect.” He smirks. She has to stop herself from rolling her eyes. Smug bastard. “I’ll forward you the file and contact information for his reps.” Luke looks around at the rest of the employees. “Meeting is over.”
As everyone empties out, Luke being the first, Megan waits impatiently for everyone to depart before turning to Paige and punching her on her arm.
“Ow!”
“What the hell?” She hates being put in situations where she has no idea what’s going on, and this just so happens to be one of them. “What did you just get me into?”
“You could just say thank you for saving my ass, you wonderful goddess.” Paige adjusts her glasses and opens her laptop, typing away before sharing her screen with Megan. “This is what you’re getting into.”
Megan is still annoyed as her eyes land on the screen, but that irritation easily drifts away when she sees who is on the screen. “Holy shit, that’s Roman Reigns.”
“Duh.” Paige says with all the sass, explaining. “Universal wants him for an upcoming film they’re doing, but WWE just announced he’s taking an indefinite hiatus, so it might be a hard sell.”
Paige, of course, selected a photo of the former champ in the ring, shirtless, hair down. Looking literally like the Gods put all of their talent into one pot and poured out him. Megan then asks, “why is he on hiatus?”
“That’s the sad part.” Paige does some typing and pulls up an article. She points to the several headlines that all say the same thing just in different ways.
He’s engaged.
“I swear, all the good ones are taken.” Paige pouts. “There was actually some drama he was in a couple weeks ago but it’s all died down now, I think. I’ll have to send you the tea. Nevertheless, he’s engaged and expecting another child with his now fiancé.”
Megan clicks on one of the articles that show Roman and who she’d guess is the fiancé. A frown falls on her face. “Seriously? Her? He could have done way better.” Exceptionally. Megan could never see someone like him, body sculpted by Zeus himself, with someone like her who looks like she’s never even seen the inside of a gym.
“Regardless, that’s his lady, and they already have one kid together, so he’s really off-limits.” Paige shrugs, closing her laptop. “Thankfully, all you need to do is get him to agree to do this film.” She snorts. “Baby on the way, planning a wedding, how hard can that be?”
Megan rolls her eyes and flips off Paige who laughs while standing up. “Wanna go get lunch? My treat.”
Shaking her head, Megan politely declines. “No thanks. I’ve got a few emails I’ve gotta get caught up on. Raincheck?”
“You bet.” Paige winks and walks out, closing the door behind her to leave Megan alone with her many thoughts.
Paige is right. It’s going to be a challenge to get Roman to sign onto this film when he has so much going on in his personal life. Some might even see it as DOA. Megan, however, has always been intrigued by challenges. She’s never encountered a situation where she didn’t get what she wanted. Where she didn’t get who she wanted.
On a film.
Of course.
Pulling out her phone, she googles his name, scowling when one of the first photos is of him and the fiancé and their kid, she’d guess. She easily pinches on said photo, eliminating them and filling her screen with only him.
Head tilted, twirling a piece of her hair, she says to no one in particular. “You and I are about to be very good friends, Mr. Reigns….”
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windbreaker characters as parents ༘⋆🌷🫧💭 ⋆˙
tw ; cuteness overload, contains character x character and character x reader
pairings ; min u x mia, shelly x jay jo, dom x reader, monster x reader, vinny x reader
౨ৎ let's start from min u and mia! proud parents of a girl and boy who are three years apart. girl is the older sister and goes along with her brother super well even through his puberty. mia is a great mother and her kids never hide anything from her as they know that they can trust her. mia and her daughter have their own "girls secrets" and side jokes, while min u and his son are super annoyed by it and tried to make their own side jokes, but girls always know its context. also, their grandad and auntie yuna spoil them so much!!! and also min u father are so proud of his son and he really likes mia. all in all 10/10 highly recommended to be born in this family.
౨ৎ shelly and jay. here things are more complicated because shelly parents insisted on them move in the UK during her pregnancy, but they decided to stay in Korea simply because shelly likes weather more and feel more comfortable there. life blessed them with a boy - a copy of his father. but he is a mummy's boy and he gets along with shelly more, even their son's first word was "mama!" when he happily squished shelly’s cheek with his small hands. with time, he builds more interests with jay’s hobbies, so till he hit his puberty he was such a sweet child. but when he turned 14? monster that going through "nobody understands me" era. sometimes jay wonders maybe he need to send his son to his mother so she will teach him some discipline, but then jay remembers that he doesn't want to give his child such trauma. by the way jay family calmed down the moment jay was accepted on the really well paid job and even his mother was proud that her son has international family. all in all 7/10 bc both jay and shelly parents would have a beef over who is better grandparents.
౨ৎ so i can imagine that dom would accept his father's business even tho he didn't insist. so you two were gifted with three daughters each with year apart. dom honestly wished his first would be a boy so he can grow up and protect his sisters, but fate had her own ideas. through your second pregnancy dom repeated that he would be happy for girl or boy, just healthy, strong child (he prayed for a boy), and you decided not to find out who you were going to have until the baby was born. and it was sweet, super calm girl. on third pregnancy dom really tried to have a boy (yes, he scrolled all that weird mums forums to find out in which pose you can conceive a boy). he has genuinely been surprised when doctor said you will have a girl. who was the happiest over the fact that he surrounded by girls? his father!! he loves all four of you, and dom suspect that his father loves you more than him. he definitely would call you daughter and generally he is super granddad and father-in-law. your daughters loves their granddad too!! imagine them cling to him from all sides, hanginig on his neck, arms and legs. generally girls goes along super good, but oldest and youngest are more close to their father as they share extrovert personality, while middle girl gets super along with you. dom are scared that they are growing up too fast and that in one day they will start dating b̴̨̢̰͖̂ͫͨ̒ͦͩơ̷̧̢̛̤̠̻͔̤̖̳͖̥̼̲̮̥̣̼̮̂̽̓ͮ͆̉ͩ͆ͣͧ̿ͫ́͋ͩ̏̚̕̚͜͞y̶̢͎̜̬͖̩̰̬̞̓͌̽͆̈́̉̑ͨ̂ͧ͌̌̇̅͗͌͘͜͟s̶̸̢͉͙͈̳̻̣̲͔̜̩ͮ̌̃̄̄̓̍̽͌̈́͑́͑ͩ͟͠͝ 💀☠️ all in all 9/10 dom vibes with his favourite girls but one one stingy male tear drops when he sees fathers play baseball with their sons (he was hitted in the nose with a ball from his youngest daughter)
౨ৎ when you and deokbong announced that you will have a child, people were... curious - how?? how you would be able to carry his child since you look so small in comparison to him. and you know what? it was twin boys... the birth was difficult but you did it and then you faced new challenge - both boys was copy of their father and they was heavy. you prayed for your back, seriously, but deokbong is super supportive husband and father so he was always there to help you. thankfully your boys were calm. like literally they always had serious faces, fists clenched and almost never cried. with time your younger one maintained your character and more of your features showed, like brows and nose form, cheeks, and face shape. all in all 10/10 you four would be happy simple sport family!!
౨ৎ vinny hong refuse to have children. end of headcanon.
but seriously, vinny had huge trauma from his father and from bulling in school, he will never be sure that he is enough as financially and emotionally for kids, so you two are proud parents of one big dog, maybe doberman or cane corso and lazy cat. all in all 7/10 just because there are too much wool at home and vinny refuse to go on a walk with dog in the early morning.
#[ ~ koi.talks🗣]#windbreaker#windbreaker webtoon#windbreaker x reader#windbreaker headcanon#x reader#webtoon#headcanon#windbreaker manhwa#windbreaker manhwa x reader#min u windbreaker#min u x reader#min u#min u x mia#jay jo windbreaker#jay jo#jay jo x reader#dom kang x reader#dom windbreaker#dom kang#deokbong kim#deokbong x reader#monster windbreker x reader#monster windbreaker#monster x reader#monster crew#monster 13#hummingbird#hummingbird crew#vinny hong x reader
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No pls 😭 i hate the idea that raising Silver was a fun experiment out of curiosity to see if he could love a human or not, and that the answer still isnt clear. I hate the idea of Silver, the son of their enemy, being raised to be nothing but a soldier to serve Malleus in some poetic irony. I feel there’s love there but I’ve almost been transported into Silver’s mind where everything is melancholy and unclear. Does he matter as much as I believe he does 😭😭😭 or is it just a cruel tale of some foundling human always meant to be put somewhere else when the fairies are done with them
The thing is, is Silver capable of accepting the fact that Lilia's happiest moment is Malleus' hatching? Yeah, of course, who wouldn't. The man suffered for years, absolutely driven mad with guilt over Meleanor's death and the fear that he wouldn't be able to keep his promise and hatch the one thing that remained of her, the proof of her existence and love. He had to hatch Malleus, because Meleanor believed that he could, that he somehow carried enough love in those tired, aching, and emptied bones, a love that she saw in him when he couldn't even believe it of himself. If he couldn't, it would be one more insult to her name, a failure yet again, a last betrayal of her trust that he couldn't afford and wouldn't survive.
So that weeping? He's so damn dizzy with relief and love and affection for this silly creature inside that's a symbol of the love of the most important people in his life, how could one react in any other way? How fragile and vulnerable, to know that the happiest moment in Lilia's life is to realize after hundreds of years, he was capable of that love all along.
And Silver sees this— he sees the lengths that Lilia went to in order to hatch Malleus, the horrible abuse he stoically suffered from the Senate, the massive disrespect for all that he had lost and sacrificed. Of course he'd accept that this is Lilia's pivotal moment, the bittersweet reward for centuries of despair.
But on the other hand, Silver; a boy who has lost equally, if not more. He's been cast out of his own time, four hundred years into the future, where everyone and anyone who might have known him or his family (save for Lilia) has been long since dead, the kingdom he might have ruled long crumbled to dust. Is it even a footnote in the history textbook he reads? Is there any mention of the Knight of Dawn, of Princess Leia? Anything at all besides the ring in his hand and Lilia's memories to prove that they existed, that they were real, that they loved and wanted him as much as Meleanor had loved Malleus?
All he has, all he's known, is Lilia. Lilia, who found him, who woke him from the spell as the one fated to truly love him. Lilia who thought of killing him upon learning who had sired him, Lilia who raised him to be a guard, to serve those his father once stood against. Lilia who wondered if he could ever love a human, a question that I agree hasn't fully been answered (or acknowledged by Lilia himself) if we are to associate the fact Silver still bears the effects of the sleeping curse with the belief that either Lilia hasn't called him his son and confessed his love, or if Silver still struggles with self-love himself (and we can get into a whole debate over his self-worth and his view as a sacrificial tool, that's an endless discussion).
Lilia . . . whose happiest moment has nothing to do with the boy who calls himself Lilia's one and only son.
And regardless of how I fully understand why Malleus' hatching is that moment, it's still so fucking sad to me.
Your whole life is centered around this one person whom you love more than anyone else— your short, human life— and in reality, you didn't even feature in that person's dream. We only saw Silver's past due to the blot, memories that were completely out of order and not in sync with Lilia's true dream at all.
And Silver will never harbor resentment over this, he will always place his family and loved ones first, but damn it, I can be a little miserable about it. All that trauma we went through with the last update, and now we learn that finding Silver and learning to love the son of his greatest enemy (the son of the person that killed Meleanor!) wasn't Lilia's happiest moment?
Was it just for the poetic irony? I really hope not. I really hope that TWST gives the conversation that Lilia and Silver need to have the due gravity it deserves, because Lilia needs, whether Silver realizes it or not, to look that boy in the eye and tell him that he loves him, he's always been his son, and no matter what their pasts may show, he's been Silver Vanrouge all along.
#lettie's asks#twisted wonderland#twst spoilers#twisted wonderland silver#twst silver#lilia vanrouge#twst lilia#gingerly places this in the tags#but i finally was able to put my emotions about this update into words#this got really long lmao sorry about that
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Gen's Top 100 DBDA Fics - PART 8
For all caveats/rules/backstory, please read the Master Post
tell the saint of lost souls where to find me By: haledamage @haledamage Rating: T Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Protective Charles Rowland Summary: When Edwin has a nightmare, he doesn't wake up screaming. Charles didn't understand it, not completely, not until Port Townsend. He didn't know what chased Edwin through his dreams. Some days, he wishes he still didn't know. Not as often as he wishes Edwin didn't. Or: one time Edwin has a nightmare, and one time he doesn't. My Notes: Sometimes it is nice when fics bend canon and this is a great example because the boys having nightmares is a great concept. Featuring CUDDLES!
The Ballad of Saving Graces By: Bythoseburningembers Rating: T Tags: Protective Charles Rowland, Hurt Edwin Payne, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst Summary: Charles feels guilty that Edwin was dragged to Hell. Edwin is afraid Charles might leave him for a better existence elsewhere. Crystal wants it on record that she finds them both idiots. All of this is fixable. Then they get kidnapped by pirates, and for Charles, it might be too late to make things better. Again. My Notes: The boys are kidnapped by pirate ghosts. Do you need to know anything else? Okay fine Charles is also super protective and it's great.
The Case of the Acridid Sprites By: thefinalriotxx Rating: T Tags: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Protective Charles Rowland, Major Character Injury Summary: If Charles could breathe, the air would have rushed from his lungs on impact. If Charles had a heart, it would have broken free from his chest, cracking ribs and hollowing out the space where the core of him was kept. But Charles hadn’t breathed air in over thirty years, and his heart had long decayed, along with the rest of him. So why did it feel like his body was being torn apart? My Notes: What can I say? I like fics where Edwin is hurt and Charles has to save him, sue me! This is another great entry in that genre featuring worried Charles hitting the books.
The Case of the Couples Retreat By: juliasfanart @juliasfanart Rating: T Tags: Slow Burn, First Kiss, Couples Therapy Summary: It should have been just another case for the Dead Boy Detective Agency - a pair of missing ghosts to find - if not for the fact that they had to investigate a luxury resort dedicated to couples counselling... for ghosts. And what better way for Edwin and Charles to infiltrate it than to pretend to be just another couple needing to revive their relationship? A brilliant idea according to Charles, but for Edwin it might have been more than he can chew... My Notes: This is my biggest fluff recommendation! Technically it is a case fic, but the case is pretty loose and the fic is more about them sorting out their issues in therapy (but in a fun way I swear!)
The Case of the Looping Kiss By: elisasmileygirl @hey-its-elisa Rating: T Tags: Getting Together, Case Fic, First Kiss, Fluff, Romantic Fluff Summary: When Charles decides to confess his feelings to Edwin, it makes Edwin the happiest he’s ever felt which is a good thing…right? Crystal and Niko now have to figure out why the boys are stuck in a time loop of their first kiss and how to get them out of it. My Notes: Such a creative use of a time loop! Their first kiss here is so adorable.
The case of the warlock By: TheRamblingsOfaMadWoman Rating: G Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Protective Charles Rowland, Protective Edwin Payne Summary: The gang come across a warlock. Charles is quite taken with him. Edwin is distrustful. Whose instinct is right? **Charles hurts Edwin My Notes: Charles being forced to hurt Edwin via possession and then later banging on a magic wall demanding Edwin let him out so Charles can save him??? Do I need to say more???
The Case of What Comes After - Series By: HowYouDoing (FancyMeetingYouHere) Rating: T Tags: Post-S1, Traumas, Hurt/Comfort Summary: Working It Out - “And you think you’re your dad,” Crystal fills his sudden silence, tear-tracks on her angry face, “and that Edwin would be your mom, and that you’re somehow destined to have the exact same relationship as them if you ever admitted to yourself that you’re in love with Edwin.” Or, Crystal pops the question about whether Charles is in love with Edwin or not, and Charles proceeds to go down a full rabbit-hole of feelings and trauma. Thankfully, Edwin shows up to help. Us - Edwin once suggested that he does not deserve Charles, then shut the topic down by saying it was a conversation for another time. Charles, very unanimously, decides this is that time. My Notes: Charles dealing with how he doesn't want his and Edwin's relationship to be like his parents' hits my deep in my heart. And in the sequal Edwin gets to deal with some of his truama too.
The Ghostly Potion Debacle of '24 By: NuriaSchnee @nuria-schnee Rating: M Tags: Romance, Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Protective Charles Rowland Summary: Charles gets hit by a potion that makes your biggest worries disappear. The good news? The witch that made the potion is a little incompetent, and the potion is faulty. The bad news? Charles had been obsessing about how to confess to Edwin for months, and the potion has made Edwin completely invisible to Charles. My Notes: Charles really goes through it in this one. He is forced to face his inner worries and deal with them directly. The whole thing is very stressful! (in a good way!)
The Hour of Separation By: Safaia @safaiagem Rating: M Tags: Case Fic, Revenge, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Protective Charles Rowland, Protective Edwin Payne Summary: The problem with solving big, flashy cases and going international is that you become well-known. Word came down about everything the Dead Boy Detectives managed to do in Port Townsend, and they have never been busier. The problem with becoming more well-known is that you don't always draw the kind of attention you want. You might jump onto the radar of someone with a grudge just looking for an excuse. Technically, it is part of a series, but it can be easily read as a stand-alone. My Notes: The tension in this one is strong, as well as the protectiveness of the boys. Also, slight spoiler so if you don't want that stop reading, I appreciate that the boys get together in the middle rather than the end! It is nice to see them face the final threat as a couple rather than having them get together at the end.
The lamps are going out By: CasiHuman @technically-human Rating: T Tags: AU - Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: Evil spirits, vengeful spirits. At the time, he didn't yet have the words to explain what had happened to him –even though, without a frame of reference, he could still tell something was wrong– They formed when a ghost felt an awful injustice had befallen them, and few ghosts could claim to have been as wronged by everything as Edwin Payne. He just hoped the boy from the attic wouldn't put two and two together. My Notes: Any fic that expands on ghost lore is great and this one is no exception! I like the idea of Edwin being a vengeful spirit and having there be something wrong with him. It adds something to the boys dynamic that is really interesting.
#gen's 100 dbda fics#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#payneland#charles rowland#dbda#dbda fanfiction#dbda fanfic#save dead boy detectives#paineland#fic rec#ao3 fanfic#ao3#fanfic#fanfiction#the dead boy detective agency#dead boy detective netflix#dead boy detective agency#the dead boy detectives#fic recs
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I mean I am all for girls sticking together, especially against someone like Joe Jonas who I have side-eye since forever, but if that means fawning over Taylor Swift I guess I'll pass. Especially when she did something very very similar to someone with waaaaay less power than she has in the industry. She has much more in common with Joe Jonas than with Sophie Turner. Obviously, the situations vary in terms of Sophie being a woman (so misogyny adds an awful layer to what she's going through, which Joe Alwyn doesn't have to face) and the mother of Joe's kids, which makes Joe Jonas' actions even worse, but how is it that people are forgetting how Taylor went on her own "smear campaign" against Joe Alwyn just because he dared to break up with her and /or not be willing to marry her? She painted the guy as if he was insecure and jealous of her success, implied he was holding her back, went on pap walks to drive the point home that he was keeping her "hidden" and preventing her from being her own self, made all of her friends unfollow him on social media, all of this knowing exactly how that would look like, and how that would weaponize her fans against him. The dude can't do as much as take a subway without his name going trending on Twitter with her insane fan base calling him all kinds of names. There were fans even wishing for him to kill himself, and the tweet had tons of likes. Never mind the fact she made a point of dating a racist misogynistic right after and weaponized that relationship too (because you can't tell me part of her motivation to state in public she had been the happiest she has ever been, to have the guy in all of her concerts singing along her songs when she built the narrative that Joe was unsupportive of her success wasn't a way of getting back at him). And according to her own lyrics, Joe Alwyn has a history of dealing with mental health issues, like anxiety and depression. And yet, Taylor did all of that to the person she dated for six years. It wasn't a marriage with kids, but the relationship lasted longer than Joe Jonas and Sophie's marriage and almost the entirety of Joe Jonas and Sophie's relationship. I see no difference between Joe Jonas and Taylor Swift, she just gets away with being an awful person. And unfortunately for Joe Alwyn, people bought the narrative that Taylor sold out there about him. Luckily, Joe Jonas wasn't able to stick the "Sophie is a bad mother and unfit partner" narrative to her. I also can't help but think this outing is much more PR Taylor swift seeing an opportunity to come out as a “girl’s girl” than Taylor Swift reaching out to a friend. Afterall, where was this attitude when people were calling her out for dating a racist misogynistic? Hmm yeah, she can fuck off. I also am going to be super cynical here, and it's something I've noticed about her for ages now. To me, she feels a certain validation in other women's failed relationships. Especially with a woman who got something Taylor wished had had herself.
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Long Live the Brother | Kingscholar brothers
Synopsis: Since Cheka was born, Falena became more aware of the fact that he wouldn’t live forever. Whenever he falls asleep in his most stressful days, he has this strange nightmare about a gorge and a stampede. As years pass by, the dream has gained more details to its story. Cheka is in danger and Leona is close to Falena, but he can’t help him — because he doesn’t want to.
Falena needs to do something about this premonition. As little as it seems to be.
kingscholar brothers / angst with hopeful ending / Lion King references / minor tamashina mina setting / ft. mention of ocs / 4,5k words / Masterlist
Notes: It’s been a while since I last talked about doing this fic but it’s finally here, folks. *sighs in tiredness* well, I asked people to vote for a type of ending so it took me a long time to write it all and come to a conclusion that felt… proper. Like, there’s room for good things to come, certainly. Hope you enjoy it!
Long Live the Brother
Falena knows he won’t live forever. It seems kind of obvious, especially when it comes to Afterglow Savannah’s oldest teaching: “we are part of the cycle of life.” It’s part of the birth-to-death cycle. Helping others in life and giving life to nature itself when one dies. To become grass, to be a spirit in the stars.
Falena thought about this a lot, especially on some extraordinary occasions in his life: the birth of Leona, the strong illness of their father and, even more strongly, on the birth of Cheka.
The kingdom’s people — among servants, guards and subjects — got used to the charismatic image of Falena. To them, the then-young king was brave and imposing, his strong smile shining brighter than the sunlight on the golden savannah. And it wasn’t a lie at all.
But there were things that troubled Falena’s mind many times. Shadows that have haunted him since the crown was placed on his head.
He was so young at the time and the books he had read during his education weren’t enough to guide his journey in the real world, where brilliant theories could fail at the first unpredictable element of nature. His father was also too debilitated to give any advice. Sometimes he barely recognized where he was in his own room.
Falena could only thank Heavens for having Maisha by his side, she being his most precious support all these years.
The couple had ruled together since they got married. They hit and missed all the obstacles in life together. Maisha was the only confidant that Falena could truly let go of his saddest thoughts and worries. She didn’t demand from him any perfection of his royalty. Maisha would let him just talk to her and it was those moments that made him happiest.
That had been their dynamic since they met at a diplomatic ball a long time ago. The then-prince purposely hid himself from Kifaji just to show the stars to the princess who befriended him.
And it was a mutual, strong feeling. Maisha wouldn’t trade Falena for anyone. Her love was true, overcoming any circumstances and problems they encountered along the way. Proof of this was the birth of Cheka.
It was an unforgettable day. The kingdom celebrated it as if it were the sunrise after a long period of darkness, the rain after a long period of drought. Both of them were so happy with their little cub. Falena thought of Cheka as the light in his difficult life as king. Unfortunately, with the King’s health worsening, Falena found himself again thinking about life and death.
The shadows gained strength and that’s when the nightmares began.
It wasn’t constant dreams. They appeared mainly after a long and stressful day. When everything seemed about to fall apart, when the difficulties of the kingdom weighed on Falena’s shoulders.
It started simply with him lost in a crowd. People were running over each other, everyone was confused and frightened — and he was being slaughtered by all of them, trampled underfoot.
Then it switched to something else. Falena heard Cheka’s screams and desperately ran to save him. Sometimes he managed to get the little boy to a safe place on the rocks. Other times, they didn’t survive. But in either scenario, Falena would lose his life.
No matter what he did or how hard he tried, everything or only his life slipped through his hands. His son’s screams would turn to tears as Falena collapsed into his own unconscious sleep. It was tortuous. He wanted to answer his little one, to say that everything would be fine — but in what voice? With what kind of force?
As time passed, a new character came to his dreams: Leona.
He almost always stood aside, just watching the scene unfold in front of him. But sometimes it was he who first warned him of the danger that Cheka was in, and with this, Falena ended up finding himself in the midst of that frightened crowd.
Whenever he woke up from these nightmares, Falena usually took a deep breath and tried to comfort himself in the fact that if something happened to him, Leona could take care of Cheka and Maisha in his place. Without a doubt, he would leave the kingdom safely in the hands of his younger brother.
There was no other person Falena wouldn’t trust with his own life and that of the people he loved most.
Then, at a certain point, that nightmare repeated itself.
Falena had managed to lead Cheka to the rocks, away from the tumultuous crowd where he could be safer. But he himself fell among the stampede again. In a last effort, Falena jumped up and clung to a high rock.
Relief washed over his face when he saw Leona on top of that very stone, safe enough to pull him away from danger.
“Leona...! Brother! Help me!,” Falena pleaded.
But Leona only gave a contemptuous smile in response. With all the calmness in the world, he crouched down and dug his nails into the knuckles of Falena’s hands, making him scream in pain.
“Long live the king,” then Leona gave a long and dangerous smile like he had never given before, looking deep into his older brother’s eyes.
Falena felt afraid of the shade of green in Leona’s eyes. Green in the shade of poison, pure burning sulfur. He wasn’t his brother. Leona wasn’t like that! In front of him was just the picture others painted of him.
Falena heard so many times from the servants that this was who his brother was going to become. A corrupt, envious boy who would bring drought and disgrace to the kingdom. It couldn’t be! Leona wasn’t like that. He would never hurt Cheka, nor anyone.
Or would he?
Suddenly the pain in his hands had stopped. The distance between them increased. Was Falena falling? Leona no longer held him. He was watching his fall with a dark, victorious look. A scream was heard in the distance. Falena has never heard the word “no” pronounced so painfully before.
He wasn’t sure if it was coming out of his own mouth because the voice he was hearing was from Cheka. But Falena kept falling until he finally hit the ground and thousands of feet passed over him. The pain of being trampled on was nothing compared to his heart being shattered inside.
Falena didn’t want the crown if it meant leaving his son and wife alone. He never wanted to.
Before he knew it, he had already left his brother once. He didn’t want to leave him again.
His voice grew faint before the noise of the stampede above him. Both when he was young and when observing his kingdom, it was the only time when the people’s voice surpassed his light. What began with the servants losing patience with the young second prince, turned into real complaints and fear with his magic.
Falena didn’t know what to say to them. His brother was young, that was all. But as Leona seemed to worsen in behavior, Falena lost the basis to defend him. And with the accumulation of royal responsibilities, he lost sense of time.
One day, Leona was already a full-fledged teenager who didn’t have the slightest motivation to do anything. The chess that Falena taught him with great joy became a game that his brother played alone — because he had no one by his side and no one wanted to be near him. Leona acted as if he were a stranger in the palace, a being who didn’t belong there.
But he was part of the cycle, he was a vital member of the family. Falena still held that truth in his heart. At the end of the day, he didn’t have more time to bring him back? Was their bond already broken beyond repair?
What would be left of all this would be for Leona to let him fall over the abyss of death, more than content to see the color of his eyes shine for one last time?
“Dad!”
Then Falena woke up. He was alive after all. His heart was pounding hard enough to be sure of it. The sun shone brighter than ever through the office window. He should have fallen asleep unintentionally. His rest time has been getting worse lately. Everywhere he went he had a problem to solve, and if he ever stopped to rest, he felt guilty for it.
But there was Cheka holding his arm tightly, jumping endlessly with excitement. His eyes let out sparks of joy. It was almost nostalgic — at one point, in a room full of books, another boy called his brother to take a break from his studies and talk to him a little bit.
“Dad! Uncle Leona arrived with friends!,” the little prince announced happily. “Can Naru and I play with them? Can we?”
Seeing Cheka smiling gave some cheer to Falena’s poor suffering heart, though the mention of his brother couldn’t have come at a worse time.
“Go with Monti and Zakki to talk to your uncle. I... I’m going soon.”
“Okay!”
“Ah! Cheka!”
The boy stopped in his tracks when his father called his name, his orange hair with yellow edges swirling like rays of midday sun. He was the perfect blend of his parents, a gift from Heavens to them. Falena took him in his lap and kissed his forehead.
“I love you, son. Be careful, okay?,” he asked. His voice was a little hoarse.
“I love you too, dad!,” Cheka kissed his father’s cheek. “And don't worry! I’ll be with uncle Leona.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of...”
Maisha entered at the right moment when Cheka ran out of the office. She had overheard part of the conversation. And her worry only worsened when she saw her husband’s forlorn countenance.
Falena held his face in his hands, trying to catch his breath. He couldn’t believe what he’d just thought about his own brother. His stomach felt heavy and empty at the same time. He was feeling bad in so many different ways that he didn’t even know where to start. His thoughts collided like an onslaught of hyenas, tearing at his flesh and gnawing at his bones.
“It was that nightmare again?”
The desolate king felt his wife’s hand massaging his shoulder, conveying comfort and solace. Falena raised his eyes to Maisha, her presence always welcomed on any occasion.
She went around the chair where her husband sat to be closer to him, and he held her waist, resting his head on her belly as he did at the time when she was pregnant with their precious son. His hair of a strong and intense orange cascaded down, confusing itself with the dress of the finest fabric that his queen wore.
Maisha caressed Falena’s head, patiently waiting for him to find words to express himself.
She never rushed or pressured him. She knew it wouldn’t do any good. Few queens in the world could say that they loved their husband so much that they wouldn’t mind supporting them unconditionally as Maisha had done for a long time.
They never changed, they just got stronger together. Maisha had the same long, naturally slightly grayish-beige hair with strong yellow tips and the kind, wise caramel-colored eyes she had when she was young. The eyes Falena most wanted to face at the moment.
The time that passed wasn’t as long as it felt. For Falena, it seemed like an eternity before he told Maisha every single thing that happened in his nightmare. When the story came to an end, husband and wife stared at each other in deep silence.
“I failed Leona... terribly,” Falena sighed. “I’d let them say what they wanted of him…”
“Falena, dear. You always defended him the best you could, I know that. Leona... actually, you two are very complicated. All this palace’s life is. What they subjected to a fifteen year old and a five year old boy is unforgivable,” Maisha said.
“But there’s nothing else we can do.”
The woman bit her lip. She understood the feeling well, those shadows that haunted her husband. That’s what she was most afraid of, too. She had known Leona for a long time and, luckily, he came to respect her more than anyone in his life.
However, respect was still too little to meet him in the desert and drive him back home. Maisha didn’t just want to be Leona’s sister-in-law. She wanted to be his older sister. But he despised his own brother by blood, so what would she — as the family’s outsider — needed to do wrong to fall into the same bad graces?
“What can you offer a man who has everything but wants nothing?,” Maisha suddenly thought out loud.
And Falena grasped this thought as if it were dry leaves that the wind brought in the afternoon. The royal spiritual adviser, Chinaza, once said that those said leaves were messages from the Kings of the Past — and in reality, the old baboon wasn’t so far from the truth.
With the words of his wife in mind, the king began to think calmly about everything. Over the years, he offered Leona various kinds of gifts. Books, chess boards, expensive items of clothing, dinners with his favorite meats and everything else he had at his disposal to give to his precious brother. It wasn’t just charity. He knew Leona deserved it all.
But it must have looked fake in the young man’s eyes. Deep down — and the nightmare didn’t help this feeling — Leona should despise all these gestures.
It felt like Falena was patching up the past, as if all they had been through was an old tapestry that just needed extra thread.
“What is the one thing that a man who despises all things, because he feels himself to be despised, most wants?,” Falena asked back as he got up and looked out the window.
They were at the highest point of the palace, from where they could see the whole kingdom and everything that the light could touch. Maisha rested her head on Falena’s shoulder and he leaned on her equally, both with their gaze lost in the horizon.
“I have no idea, my love,” the wife replied.
“I think I know what to do... well, I think” Falena swallowed hard. “It’s not much and I honestly don’t know how much Leona will like or understand it…”
“What are you talking about?”
“Our father used to say that diplomatic apologies require more than an emotional and well-crafted text. That’s not what touches people. It’s the process, the small steps you take along the way. If you never cross the desert, you will never come home.”
“Alas, you ramble a lot sometimes,” Maisha said but began to smile as she saw her husband’s face recover its grace. “Will you start with the small steps then?”
Falena took a deep breath, filling himself with courage. He would.
Better late than never.
If anything, Leona’s patience could be more succinctly described as a worn-out tapestry.
It had interesting embroidered drawings, making smooth lines on thick thread and had the colors of the sunset. In the old days, it had impressive strength. But he couldn’t say the same in the present though. A lion cub had snatched the edge and began to tear it apart, leaving bristles exposed and easy to fray.
Which settled Jack to be the only one — by their side at the moment — who was actually concerned about the dorm leader wanting to rip apart his own nephew running around him in a fit of pure childish energy.
Meanwhile, Kalim was distracted by all the beautiful landscapes around them in the huge palace. Naru, the lioness-friend of the little prince, was explaining everything to him — and on certain occasions, she would take a look at her best friend and smile at him having fun.
But, perhaps, what was doing more harm to Leona’s nerves was the indescribable delight in which Lilia and Vil were watching them near the balcony. They both had different kinds of smiles but seemed equally amused by his look of distress.
Was that Leona’s penance for being himself in the NRC? Or were they joining life’s queue to piss him off?
“Cheka!,” suddenly a powerful voice made its entrance.
“Dad!”
Leona had his chair turned away from the entrance, but as he turned around, he was for a very brief moment happy with his brother’s arrival. All to get Cheka away from him, especially.
He then took a look at the colleagues he brought along and observed their reactions of respect and admiration at the arrival of the king. He wasn’t particularly impressed himself.
Falena might be the most imposing “Lion King” in all of Afterglow Savannah’s history but Leona would always see him as his annoyingly enthusiastic older brother.
“Dear friends!,” Falena greeted the boys with a smile. “Could you let me steal Leona for a moment?”
This was such a surprise that the second prince turned his head back.
“Oh, we don’t mind, Your Majesty,” Vil spoke for the group, smiling politely.
Leona rolled his eyes. It was like he was being handed over like a pesky stray cat off someone’s backyard.
Jack was thinking of a form to add any type of positive comments — to at least take that very impression out of the room — but he remained silent as the dorm leader assured him in a simple hand gesture that it wasn’t necessary.
Falena noticed this as his brother stood up. Every one of them had their own opinions on Leona. Well, mixed opinions it seemed. Personally, he would like to know how his little brother was doing at Night Raven College — but he would have to wait a bit longer to hear about Leona’s school adventures.
Falena waved a goodbye to Cheka and Naru, leaving them in the hands of their caretakers, the meerkat-man chamberlain Monti and the warthog-man cook — who also acted as the little prince’s personal aide — Zakki, and the remaining boys.
Then the brothers left the balcony and walked through the halls in complete silence. No one dared disturb their course. Even a falling leaf could be heard in the distance.
After a few minutes of walking beside his brother without facing him, Leona eventually realized that they were walking through more and more empty corridors inside the palace. Places he almost forgot existed. It seemed that they had crossed the entire construction when Falena opened for him a door hidden behind a large dark red wall-tapestry.
Behind the secret passage, there was a large field that was part of the royal estate but remained in the shadow of the towers and higher floors. Further away, Leona recognized a part of the field with a large tree as the marking for the Cemetery of the Kings of the Past.
“Why did you bring me here?,” he finally spoke to his brother, although he had a confused frown on his brows.
“It's a quiet, peaceful place,” Falena said. “Because it’s the Royal Cemetery, anyone who does not consider here an inhospitable place certainly knows that it is sacred so even servants and guards would never think of looking for a secret passage or opening the door.”
“So what?”
“I wish you could find rest here.”
Because Leona had a tremendously surprised expression, Falena added quickly:
“N-no! I’m not talking to you to rest forever here! No way! Please don’t even think...!,” then he took a deep breath to recompose himself. “What I mean, Leona, is that here it will be much easier to hide from the palace than in your room. Cheka is terribly afraid of those hallways, even if he won’t admit it.”
It was Leona’s turn to take a deep breath and facepalm, bewildered by that whole situation. He had not confused Falena’s words — though, come to think of it, it would indeed be a strange thing to say normally — and remained in the dark as to why he was being introduced to that place.
“Are you letting me stay here? Is that it?,” Leona questioned.
“Yes. Consider it my holiday gift.”
“Have you... gone insane? Is the crown so heavy that you hit your head on the floor one of these days?”
Falena bit his tongue, trying not to be discouraged in his convictions, nor to let himself be contaminated by the acidity of his brother’s words.
Leona could be an excellent diplomat when he wanted. Emphasis on “when he wanted”. But what was occurring at the present moment was no disaster of etiquette. It was how Leona usually talked to his older brother.
Sarcasm and irony were always at their peak. Boredom dictated the harmony of his voice. And, above all, resentment oozed through the thorniest sentences like burning sulfur.
Falena could feel it more than ever. They weren’t just brothers who couldn’t get along like normal families had. There was a large scar between them, completely exposed and fragile.
There was no point in pressing mere band-aids there, hoping to disappear with the cut. Something needed to be done to improve the healing process and not allow inflammations. It would be painful and difficult. However, wasting time was no longer on Falena’s mind. If he were going to stop the blood, he should do it now.
It was then Leona felt something different when Falena looked up at him.
Anyone who might have had the chance to observe them — however deserted the place was — might have seen the reflection of the king’s normally radiant countenance. However, only his young brother was close enough to understand that it wasn’t his usual glow.
“I gave you many gifts and allowed you to do whatever you wanted in a clumsy and vain hope that... “Falena sighed but kept going. “...things could be arranged. But it’s not that simple. In fact, by trying to please you, I was making the situation worse. But Leona...!”
His voice grew stronger, pouring out all its honesty like good rain in the midst of drought and desolation.
“I don’t know what to do, that’s the truth! Maybe I’ll never know. If our father was still well, I could try to take his advice... but all this damage is already done. You walk in and out of here with your head held high but with a terrible feeling in your heart. Like this it’s not even your home.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth. You don’t know how I feel,” Leona looked away, annoyed.
“Of course I don’t know! You don’t tell me!”
So Leona turned to Falena again, torn between putting the matter aside or contesting it in the adrenaline rush that awoke in his heart. Actually, he wasn’t sure what to answer. And as if Falena could finally after all those years read his little brother’s thoughts, he smiled softly.
“Talk about it when you feel the time has come. It doesn’t even have to be with me, if you don’t want to. For now, a place of silence and comfort is all I can indicate to you.”
“Indicate?”
“Yeah. Because you are still the Prince of the Savannah. You have rights like any of our bloodline,” Falena touched Leona’s shoulder and looked deep into his brother’s green eyes. “You can come here whenever you want. You always could.”
A strong breeze passed by the brothers but they didn’t move even a flinch. Small leaves of various colors, dust and the familiar smell of the savannah continued on its way, as if it were a ghost of one of the Kings of the Past who wanted to spy on the strange scene unfolding there on sacred territory.
Gently, Falena’s hand left Leona and joined his other hand. He wasn’t feeling cowed at least. On the contrary, he was satisfied for the first time with an action he did. His smile didn’t waver.
“Well, if you want to take a break, I’ll let your friends know and…”
“Falena,” Leona called.
He mirrored his older brother’s expression with his words. For a moment, Leona felt like a child again. Not in the sense of feeling small and powerless. But, as it was in the old days. The good times when things were in their place and Falena still had time to afford to teach him to play chess.
“Thanks. Or something like that.”
Leona stared at a distant spot in the landscape, not looking directly into Falena’s eyes.
He didn’t feel ready yet for that type of situation and had doubts about his brother’s intentions. He never thought he would say that, but hanging out with his classmates and holding his own patience seemed much easier than dealing with the scars of the past.
But something inside him knew that Falena understood what he was doing. It could be a part that Leona hid from his own peripheral vision on purpose, almost always to the point of completely forgetting its existence. Yet it was still there inside him.
“But I’ll have to leave it for another time. I have to lead a pack of warthogs’ backsides to a festival, remember?,” Leona retorted, going back to the exit. “Later. Who knows.”
Falena let out a laugh that made his brother stop for a moment. He looked like he was going to comment on something but then gave up.
“Well, always feel welcome. And I’ll be watching it all from somewhere. Above all: have fun, Leona!”
And then, Falena gave the biggest smile Leona had ever seen before. Perhaps it wasn't just an impression that his aura of majesty was different. It wasn’t like it got any worse, though.
It was as if an immense weight had left Falena’s shoulders and he rejuvenated like the dawn sun as he reached for his little brother’s step. They continued without saying anything on the way back, following the path in a very rare and comfortable silence.
It was the first step towards a new ending.
Falena also felt a different energy coming from Leona and his gaze accompanied him throughout the visit, questioning within himself how people couldn’t even see the resplendent light coming from Leona. Or maybe they did — it was his final conclusion — and they didn’t know what to make of it.
But Falena knew. And he felt a deep joy to have a younger brother like Leona. Smart and strategic, able to stand on his own two feet, courageous. Even friendly — although the boy didn’t like to admit it.
For the first time in a long time, Falena could have a peaceful night of starry dreams. He never had that nightmare again. He was dreaming of a bright future ahead. Some moment in time when Leona could feel happy doing whatever he wanted. Where Cheka would be a wonderful king and Maisha would still be there by his side.
And Falena would live long to see all this.
Special notes: Uh, I haven’t actually watched anything from the Tamashina Mina event so I don’t even know if they acknowledge Falena’s presence at some point. But this is what I think happened. And I feel particularly relieved about writing this story bc I love Falena due to my memories of Mufasa. I don’t think canon will ever prove me wrong but even so, this is the version of good ol’ Falena that I love the most <3 Thank you for the attention!
#twisted wonderland#falena kingscholar#leona kingscholar#cheka kingscholar#twst fanfic#angst#angst with a hopeful ending#platonic relationships#family relations#savanaclaw#cherry's writing#cherry's mumbling about twst
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Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 174
warnings: none hmh masterlist
How the hell is she one? How in the world is Ronan Charlotte a year old? It seems like not so long ago, you were finding out you were even pregnant. And yet, here she is, a whole year old. Time truly flies by, doesn't it?
It's amazing how much can change in just one year. She’s grown and developed so much. She's learned to crawl, walk, and talk--some of her favorite words being ‘dada’, “mama’, ‘boo’ for Bleu, ‘toes’ for toast; her favorite breakfast, and saying ‘uh oh’ when someone drops something. Watching her grow and learn has been such a joy for everyone around her, especially you and John. It's hard to believe that just twelve months ago, she was still in your belly. But now, she's a happy and healthy little girl with a whole world of possibilities ahead of her.
Not only is this a milestone for her, but it is for you and John as well. You’ve made it through your first year of parenthood! It’s been one hell of a ride, but it’s been so fun, and what’s made it even better is knowing you have him by your side through all the ups and downs and bumps along the way. He’s been a great partner and father. You really couldn’t ask for a better person by your side. Hopefully he feels the same way.
You remember the anxiety you felt the day you were going to tell him that you were pregnant. You remember how nervous and excited you were, and you remember how happy John was when he finally found the ornament and read it. It was one of the happiest days of your lives when you told him, then 9 months later, on September fifth--on her mom and dad’s anniversary--Ronan decided to join this world and it made the day all the sweeter.
“That is still so fucking wild,” Tess says, and you look over at her as you continue putting decorations together, “How the hell did you plan that?”
“Plan what?”
Tess furrows her brow when she looks at you, “Ronan being born on your anniversary. What kind of black magic was that?”
You start to laugh, “Pure luck.”
“Fate,” John chimes in, and you smile as you look at him while Tess playfully gags despite the fact that she probably thinks it’s cute. He wraps his arm around your waist and kisses your cheek, “Definitely fate. Something bigger had a hand in this.”
“Or I just had really good timing. Maybe I seduced you on purpose that day knowing that if I got pregnant we would have a baby nine months later on our anniversary. Maybe I’m secretly a huge mastermind.” you say, and John starts to laugh, “Do not laugh! Maybe it’s true!”
John shakes his head, “If there’s one thing I’ve learned about you these past three years, it’s that you’re very smart. Very, very smart, but even I don’t think you could have planned this.”
“Yeah, no, to be honest, it would have been so much work, and I just don’t think I would have had the patience,” you laugh, and he kisses your cheek, “But nonetheless, it is pretty wild.”
Tess smiles as she looks at the two of you, “How was your trip? I’ve barely had time to talk with you today.”
When you got home last night, you just got Ronan and immediately went home to spend time with her before she needed to go to bed. She was so excited to see you and John that she just couldn’t get herself calmed down enough to even go to bed. She eventually fell asleep halfway through eating a banana, which was pretty cute. You and John were laughing over how cute she was that you were both in tears.
Today has been spent decorating and getting ready for her birthday party, so you haven’t had much time to really talk with Tess.
“It was really good,” John says, and you smile at him. “Definitely a much needed trip.”
Tess grins when you look at her, “You had sex on every surface, didn’t you?”
“We had so much sex,” you laugh, and John puts his head down, his cheeks turning red. You love embarassing him.“One day we did nothing but have sex. It was amazing. It reminded me of when we first met. I don’t think I even put on clothes that day.”
“You did for about an hour before you ripped them off again,” John says, smiling at you, “It was the best day.”
You playfully roll your eyes, “It was a great day. But like John said, it was a much needed trip. It was so nice to just be the two of us. I definitely don’t want to wait that long before we have another trip. Maybe our next one we can bring the whole family.”
John steals a carrot from the veggie tray Tess is making, “We wanted to go to Switzerland for our babymoon, but you were very pregnant. I think it’d be fun to go there with the family. It’s beautiful there. We should think about going next spring or even this winter.”
“Ooh, that sounds fun to me!” you say, leaning up to kiss him. “Anyway, yeah, the trip was perfect. It was so nice to just be with John and not having any distractions. I hate to admit it but I missed having John to myself.”
“I missed having you to myself too,” John admits, which makes you feel better.
“Look, I know I tease you two a lot,” Tess says, and you both look at her, “But honestly, you two are so cute. You gross me out with how lovey-dovey you can be, but you’re cute.”
You start to laugh, “Oh come on, Tess, let the walls down.”
“Fine!” she huffs before she looks at you with tears in her eyes, “I think you two are so perfect for each other and I’m really happy that you found each other. John is perfect for you, and you’re perfect for him! You’re doing a great job raising your daughter together, and as your big sister, I’m so happy for you, but most of all, I’m so proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished these past few years. You have two successful bookshops, you have a bookbinding business that does really well, John teaches classes that are super popular, and not once have you two ever really struggled relationship wise--okay, before you give me that look!” she says when you cock up your brow, “I know you’ve had fights--all couples do! But you know what I mean! You two have never even entertained the thought of breaking up or anything. You have such a great relationship and that is so important for Ro to see. She’s so lucky to have you and John as her parents, and I love you two, okay? God!”
You and John both start to laugh, and Tess gives you a very unimpressed look.
“Why did you say that so aggressively?” John laughs as he walks over to hug Tess, “We love you too.”
You smile, “I love sensitive Tess so much. You should let her out more often.”
Tess is in full tears now, “You two are just so cute, and I’m so in love with Jimmy.”
“We know,” you say, and she pouts, “He’s in love with you too.”
“What does being in love with Jimmy have to do with us?” John asks, and you look at Tess.
She wipes her tears off her face, “Well, because I’m in love and so is Goose, and that’s good.”
“It is very good,” you say, then you rub her shoulder, “Maybe you should go lay down for a few minutes.”
“Yeah, maybe. Oh, and one more thing!” she says aggressively, which makes you and John laugh. “I would love to go to Switzerland, so it’s a yes from me but do I have to pay for it?”
John laughs before shaking his head, “No, it’d be all paid for by us.”
“Well, now I’m gonna cry because that’s really sweet of you! John, you’re the sweetest.” she sniffles as she shuffles off to the living room, and you widen your eyes and look at John.
John laughs quietly, “Is she okay?”
“Yeah, you know…” you roll your eyes playfully, “Sometimes people are just a little sensitive. Sometimes people are so happy that they cry.”
“Yeah, you sobbed for 15 minutes when you saw a picture of me from when I was little,” he says, and you jut your bottom lip out. “A picture that you had seen many times. I just came into the kitchen to find you with your head on the counter while you cried.”
“You were so cute!” you cup his face and squish his cheeks, “Your dorky little smile was so fucking adorable, and I see so much of Ronan in it. Her nose, her eyes, her little grin, she’s your twin!”
John smiles proudly, “She’s pretty cute.”
“She is,” you wrap your arms around his waist, “So in love with my brown eyed Virgo babies. And by the way, when that happened, I was pregnant. So, you know, I had an excuse. My emotions were everywhere.”
John nods, “Yeah, you were pregnant.”
You widen your eyes and look up at John just as he looks at you, then you walk into the living room to find Tess laying on the couch scrolling through her phone.
“Are you pregnant?”
Tess doesn’t even look at you, she just bursts out laughing, “Fuck no!”
“You sure?”
“Yes,” she sits up on her elbow and looks at you, “Positive.”
You squint your eyes at her and wait for her to crack, but she just stares back. You tilt your head and do a ‘I’m watching you’ motion with your hand, and Tess just laughs.
“Have fun,” she says as you walk back to the kitchen, “I’m not pregnant though.”
John smiles, “You think she’s pregnant?”
“No, I just like to tease her.”
“Hey,” John whispers softly when you start to walk away. He reaches for your hand and pulls you back to him, “Happy anniversary, by the way.”
You tilt your head back and kiss him, “Happy anniversary.”
“Three years, peach.” he says, and you hug him tight, “I’m so glad that we were able to get away and celebrate, but I still want to take a moment to appreciate today, not just because it’s Bug’s birthday. It’s the best day of my life for many reasons.”
“I love you so much.”
John leans into your palm when you cup his face, “Today wouldn’t possible without you.”
“It wouldn’t be without you either.” you say as he smiles, “I don’t get all the credit here.”
“Well, you deserve 50% of it.” he smiles, and you let out a small laugh, “Maybe even more.”
You shake your head, “50% sounds good to me!”
__
The party is pretty much in full swing. Aurelio and his family arrived a little late, but that’s okay. You know what life with a baby is like, so you’re sure life with two kids is even harder. The backyard is full of family and friends, and even staff from the shops. It’s nice that everyone is showing up for your baby girl, who is currently playing in the sprinkler with all the other kids. Thankfully it’s a warm day today.
Ronan will be needing a change of clothes, so after making sure someone has their eye on her and the rest of the kids, you head inside to get some dry clothes for her. Last you saw, John was getting the grill ready, so you’re not surprised when you find the house empty. You head upstairs to Ronan’s room and smile to yourself when you hear laughter coming from the open windows.
“Okay,” you exhale as you walk over to her clothes.
You pick an outfit for her to wear today since it’s her birthday but since she’ll be having cake, she probably shouldn’t wear it right now. You’ll wait to change her after she has her cake. Or maybe you should change her beforehand, get some cute pictures, then let her have cake. You’re not entirely sure, so you stand there for a few minutes staring at her closet.
As you stand there and look at all of Ronan’s clothes, you feel your eyes beginning to burn with tears. They roll down your cheeks when you blink, and you reach out and hold an outfit Ronan wore a few months ago that can no longer fit in.
She’s growing up.
The thought has been on your mind all day, so it’s certainly not new, but…your baby is growing up. She’s not going to be a baby anymore. The thought might not be a new one but it completely breaks you down into tears.
**
Since I got the grill started and some food done, I look around in search of Y/N. I want to make sure that her and Ronan get something to eat. Y/N has been running around all morning trying to make sure everything is perfect for the party today, so I want to make sure that she’s getting food in her. I don’t need her getting dizzy or too hungry. I already know she’s stressed out.
“Hey,” I lightly touch Bev’s shoulder, “Have you seen Y/N?”
She shakes her head, “No, I haven’t, honey.”
I nod and look around the yard. I smile when I see Ronan giggling as she plays in the sprinkler with Finn, and I watch them for a few moments before heading into the house. It’s quiet in here, so I assume she must be either in the bathroom or I’ve missed her outside somehow. I check the bathroom downstairs before I head up to our room. Empty.
“Peach?” I call out, listening to the quiet house. I furrow my brow when I hear a sniffle, and I walk down to Ronan’s room, finding Y/N looking out the window. I walk up behind her, “Hey, food is getting done.”
“Okay,” she says quietly. I lean forward and see a tear roll down her cheek, and I quickly wipe it away, “Baby, are you okay? Hey, look at me. Are you okay?”
She nods, “Yeah.”
I turn her around slowly and look into her bloodshot eyes. She has makeup running down her cheeks too, and she’s clinging to an outfit that Ronan probably hasn’t fit into for at least 3 months. The stress and worry I was feeling melts away, and I feel my entire body soften when I realize why she’s upset.
“I know,” I nod, rubbing her arms as she cries harder, “I don’t want her to grow up either.”
“Why is she doing this to us?” she asks, laughing through her tears.
I smile, “Because she’s going to be the bravest, smartest, kindest, and most beautiful girl in the world, just like her mom. She’s going to do great things and the world deserves to know Ronan Charlotte Wick.”
“I feel like just yesterday we brought her home from the hospital and sat on the couch, stressing about everything we were about to go through.” she says, and I nod. “I remember us sitting there stressing out about how to just feed her and when to feed her.”
I start to laugh, “I remember stressing out about my first night alone with her. I watched Finn alone before but he wasn’t a newborn baby. Ronan was, and I was beyond stressed out. Now it’s a breeze. I love when you’re able to go out and have a nice time and I get to spend it with her. It’s nice. I love building my relationship with her, and everything is just second nature. I don’t question myself. I don’t text or call you every ten minutes asking you if it’s okay if I sit on the couch and hold her instead of laying her in her little DockATot. And a year ago, I wouldn’t have had a fucking clue what a DockATot is. I would have thought it was like…I don’t know, some weird gadget.”
Y/N closes her eyes as she laughs, “It does sound like a weird gadget.”
“It’s a freaking bed. It’s a little lounger for your baby. That’s crazy! And the nose thing that you use to suck out boogers?” I say, and she immediately scrunches up her face, “Yeah, it’s gross, for sure. But I didn’t know that shit a year ago. A year ago, I knew one thing, and that was that I loved that little girl with my entire heart the moment she took her first breath--well, I knew the moment you told me that you were pregnant, but when I held her in my arms, all of the fears that I had went away. I knew in my heart everything was going to be okay because I had you.”
I shouldn’t have said that because it just makes her cry again. But it’s true.
“I had you to help me. I had you by my side. I knew that parenthood wasn’t something to be scared of because you were by my side holding my hand,” I say, reaching for her hand, “I can’t thank you enough for how much happiness you’ve given me since you came into my life three years ago. I am so beyond grateful for you. You are the love of my life.”
Yeah, shouldn’t have said that either. She’s fully crying now with Ronan’s dress pressed to her mouth. She’s fucking precious.
“I love you,” she says, sniffling as she looks up at me, “I am so happy that you’re her dad.”
“Me too.” I laugh, nodding my head, “I’m happy you’re her mom; she has the best role model.”
Y/N juts her bottom lip out, “I can’t believe she’s one. I just want her to be a tiny baby forever.”
Wiping the tear off her cheek, I cup her face, “You know what I’ve learned this past year?”
“What?”
I smile, “No matter how old she gets, she’s always going to be our baby. Whether she’s six months old, six years old, or 36. She will be our baby. We get the privilege of watching her grow up and learn things that we taught her--us, her parents! How lucky is that? I watch you teach her things, then I watch her use that knowledge. Isn’t that amazing?”
“Yeah,” she laughs, sniffling again, “It is, and I see you teach her things too. It’s the best.”
“I know it’s hard watching her grow up, and if I’m honest, I wish we could slow down time. I don’t want this to ever end.” I say, getting misty-eyed, “I absolutely love my life with you two. It’s perfect and it’s far more than I deserve.”
She shakes her head, “You deserve everything, John. You deserve all of this.”
I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight to my chest as we both stand there, sniffling quietly. I press a kiss to the top of her head and lean back to look at her, and she wipes away the tears on her cheek.
“I think part of my issue is, yes, I’m sad she’s growing up, but she’s also getting closer to being a teenager and I’m not ready for that.” she says, and I furrow my brow. She sighs loudly and takes a few steps away before walking back over to me, “My mom and I didn’t always have the best relationship. Mom and daughters can have…complicated relationships. I want to try my best to avoid that.”
“What do you mean?”
Sighing again, she looks at me, “From 13-15 years old, I wasn’t very nice to my mom. I flew off the handle over little things. I was a young girl going through a ton of changes and I, unfortunately, took it out on my mom. I don’t want that for me and Ronan. I want us to always be close. I want to be her mom, but I also want to be her friend. I want her to want to talk to me about things that are bothering her. I bottled up everything and didn’t tell my mom. I struggled silently with so much stuff--what I was going through was nothing compared to Tess, so I just stayed quiet.”
“You can’t compare pain, sweetheart. If something hurts, it hurts. What you were feeling was just as important as what Tess was feeling.” I say, and she nods.
“And I know that now. Tess actually was the one who told me that, and of course mom was so upset when she found out because it’s true, my feelings were just as important.” she says, laughing quietly, “But I’m so scared that Ronan’s going to hate me when she’s a teenager. I don’t want to ever overstep or feel like I’m projecting onto her either. I don’t want her to feel like I’m expecting too much from her. I want us to have a good relationship forever.”
I nod sympathetically, then I rest my hands on her shoulders, “I get it. Ronan is always going to love you; you’re her mom! She’s going to love you forever. But listen to me…there is no use in worrying about things that might or might not happen twelve years from now. There’s no use. You don’t deserve to be sad or stressed out about it.”
“Twelve years really puts it into perspective.” she says, and I smile at her. “You’re right. I should be enjoying this milestone. It’s not a sad day; it’s just bittersweet.”
“I’m not saying you’re not allowed to be sad because trust me, I’m sad. Our baby girl is growing up! She’s already a year old and I hate that.” I say as we both tear up, “She’s getting older and it’s such a bittersweet thing but we’re so lucky to be able to watch her grow and learn. We’re so lucky that we have the most perfect angel of a daughter.”
Y/N laughs, “She really is an angel, isn’t she?”
I gesture to the open window, “Listen to her laughing out there.”
We both go silent and listen as Ronan squeals happily in the sprinkler with all of the other kids. I look back at Y/N and hold her gaze, and she smiles softly at me before leaning up to give me a kiss.
“I love you,” she says, and I pull her closer, “Thank you for making me feel better.”
“I am always going to be here to make you feel better,” I say as she leans against my chest, “Let’s go see our baby girl now.”
Y/N looks up at me, and I put my finger up and take her hand. I bring her into our room, then to our bathroom, all while she looks beyond confused. I lift her onto the counter and get a few of her make-up wipes, then I gently wipe away the makeup staining her cheeks. I look into her eyes and furrow my brow when I see her tearing up again.
“Are you okay?”
“This is the sweetest thing you’ve ever done,” she whispers, and I let out a confused laugh. She gestures to me wiping her makeup off, “This. This is so romantic. It’s tender. It shows me how much you care about me.”
I cup her face, “I care so deeply about you.”
“I know,” she smiles, “I care deeply about you too. God, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
I start to laugh when she tears up and throws her hands up in a playful manner since she’s crying again. I tuck her hair behind her ear and kiss her cheek before hugging her tight. She exhales and looks at me, and I wipe her face off again.
“I’m done crying now.” she says, hopping off the counter and grabbing her makeup bag. “Lemme just fix my makeup quick.”
I watch her as she carefully puts mascara on her lashes--waterproof, she told me--then I smile at her and take her hand before heading back downstairs. The closer we get to the back patio, the louder Ronan’s giggle is, and I smile down at Y/N and see her laughing quietly.
The moment the door opens and we step out, Ronan turns her attention to us and comes running over, screaming for one person in particular who deserves all the love right now.
“Momma!” Ronan screams, running over to Y/N, who kneels down and opens her arms.
“Hi, baby.” she hugs her tight and closes her eyes, “Goodness, I love you so much.”
My heart swells with pride and joy at the sight of my little family. My wife. My daughter. Both so precious, and all mine.
__
“Hey,” I pull Y/N aside and smile, “Think it’s time?”
“I think so.” she nods, then she takes my hand and together we sneak into the house.
I let go of her hand to open the basement door, then I gesture for her to go first and follow behind. I smile when I hear the little meows coming from downstairs, and Y/N gasps and rushes over to the kitten.
“Oh, goodness,” she laughs when she sees the cat covered in wet food, “You’re a bit of a mess, aren’t you?”
I smile, “He’s gonna fit in just fine here.”
“True,” she laughs as she walks to the bathroom to clean him off. “Do you have a box?”
I found a cardboard box and wrapped it up with colorful paper and put a huge bow on it, and some holes for air of course.
“Yeah, I got this one,” I bring it over to the couch and put Baby Cat’s blanket inside, then I smile when Y/N comes out of the bathroom with him as she dries him off. “Can’t wait for her to finally get him so we can stop calling him Baby Cat.”
“Maybe she’ll like that name.”
I grimace, “I hope not.”
“Hey! It look a lot of brain power for me to come up with that,” she jokes, and I playfully swat her knee. She carefully places the kitten into the box and closes it up, then she picks it up and hands it to me. “Here.”
I take the box and carefully go upstairs with it, glancing back to make sure Y/N is following. She holds open the patio door and smiles, looking around for Ronan.
“Ro,” she calls out and waves her over, “We got you a present.”
The poor kitten is going to be passed around to everyone, so hopefully he’s a patient little guy.
Y/N sits down and pats the spot next to her, then she looks at me and pats the spot on her other side. I sit down with the box and smile when I hear a tiny meow coming from it.
“We have another present for you,” she says, and Ronan looks up at her, “But you have to gentle, okay?”
I can tell the family is confused. We didn’t tell them about the little souvenir we brought home from The Bahamas.
Ronan nods her head as Y/N puts her in her lap. She gives me the okay to open the box, and I carefully take the lid off and move it over so Ronan can look in. She lets out a gasp and makes the ‘O’ shape with her mouth as she stares at Y/N with her brown eyes.
“What is that?” I ask, and Ronan leans over again to look. “Is that a kitten?”
“Kitty,” Ronan says, pointing at it, “Momma.”
Y/N laughs, “I see! Isn’t he cute?”
Ronan reaches in with absolutely no hesitation and pets the kitten. When he licks her fingers, she giggles loudly, causing all the other kids to come over and see what’s going on. For the kitten being so tiny, he sure loves all the attention and isn’t at all scared, which will be great because Ronan is like a tornado. We’ll teach her to be gentle with him though.
“This is our new kitten,” Y/N says, and Ronan looks up at her, “What should we name him?”
Ronan just shrugs.
“We’ll give it some time,” I say, and Y/N laughs.
“Oh, stop it!” Tess smiles as she leans down to look at the kitten, “When did you guys get him?”
I look at Y/N before looking at Tess, “While we were in The Bahamas. There were cats everywhere and he was outside our cottage one night. We took him inside and I found where he lived. They said we could keep him.”
“Wait, wait, wait!” Y/N puts her hand up and laughs, “No, I kept hearing something around like…two in the morning and I was freaked out thinking it was a serial killer. I finally woke John up and he went outside and found him!”
Tess smiles, “He’s so cute.”
Y/N grins, “I keep calling him Baby Cat but John doesn’t like it.”
“Ronan needs to name him,” I say as Ronan looks at me, “What’s his name?”
Ronan looks at him like she’s really thinking it through, then she shrugs again.
I laugh, “We’ll figure out eventually.”
Anything is better than Baby Cat. Okay, I’ll admit, Baby Cat is kind of growing on me, but I won’t dare tell Y/N.
“Toes,” Ronan says, and everyone looks at her, “Toes!”
We all look confused for a moment before Y/N and I lock eyes, immediately figuring it out when she says it again.
“Toast!” Y/N and I both say in unison.
“Is his name Toast?” I ask, and Ronan smiles as she nods proudly. “Toast.”
Ronan continues talking to the kitten, calling him Toast over and over, and I smile when Y/N looks at me. We both start to laugh since of course our daughter would name her kitten Toast. We have a fish named Dada and now a cat named Toast. I can’t wait to see what else she names our future pets.
__
**
The rest of the day went really well. You cried like a baby when Ronan blew out her candles, then you cried again when she tried to feed John a piece of cake, but that time it was from the laughter. She opened her presents and instantly wanted to play with them and share them with the other kids at the party, but of course she was quick to run back to you and John to show you all her special things she got.
As the party started to die down, so did Ronan. She was trying her best to stay awake, but she eventually fell asleep on the couch tucked into John’s arms while you all sat around and talked. The kitten was tucked in there too until you moved him into the guest bedroom for now.
“I admire her strength,” your mom says when you look at her, “She was holding on for dear life, just fighting to keep those eyelids open.”
You laugh as you look at Ronan in John’s arms, who is also asleep. You smile to yourself as you look at those two just sleeping away. John is still holding Ronan but he has his head propped up by his right hand. It’s going to slip soon and he’ll jolt himself awake.
There isn’t anything to clean up since your family and friends were kind enough to help clean up and take home leftover food and cake. You’ve been up since five this morning, so you’re ready to lay down in bed.
You rest your head against your mom’s shoulder and close your eyes, “Sorry for being so shitty when I was a teenager.”
“What?” she laughs, and you look at her.
“When I was a teenager, I was really shitty to you.” you say, shrugging your shoulder, “So, I wanted to say I’m sorry.”
Your mom sits up and furrows her brow, completely bewildered as to why you’re bringing this up. She looks past you at Ronan and nods slowly before looking back at you.
“It was tough, but I didn’t take it personal.” she says, and you nod as you tear up, “All that we went through then was so worth it. The relationship that we have now? It was worth all the screaming, eye rolling, and door slamming.”
You laugh, “I slammed my door once.”
“Damn right it was once. I shut that down right away.” she says as you laugh, then she reaches for your hand, “I was a young girl once too. I knew exactly how it felt to be fifteen once. Admittedly, I should have checked in with you and it’s something that bothered me for a very long time as you grew up, so I apologize for that and I hope you can forgive me for that. I’m so lucky to have such a kind and beautiful daughter who I can call my friend.”
You look down as you cry, then you nod, “Yeah.”
“I know you won’t make my mistake, and I know you’ll always be there for Ronan.”
“You were a single mom, you had a job that was so demanding, you had just adopted another kid.” you say, and she nods, “You had a lot on your plate and I knew that. I always knew. I never thought you didn’t love me or something. I knew you did--I know you do. I’m glad to say you’re my mom. You’re an incredible mom. All my friends wished that you’d adopt them too because everyone loved you, me included! I want to be just like you when I grow up.”
She laughs, “I’m flattered, but you’re quite amazing yourself, sweetheart.”
You start to laugh as you look over at Ronan, then you look back at your mom, “I don’t want her to grow up. She’s my baby.”
“Yeah, I know the feeling,” she says, holding your gaze, then she reaches for your hand, “But look at you, all grown up and with your own daughter now. But no matter what, one thing will never ever change: you will always be my baby.”
Which is exactly what John said about Ronan earlier.
Nodding your head, you look at her as you both tear up, then you lean over to hug her. She holds tight to you and rubs your back, then she kisses your cheek before getting up from the couch. You look over at John as he opens his eyes and stretches out, and you give him a knowing smile because he definitely wasn’t asleep the whole time--come on, no one has that perfect of timing. Not even John Wick.
“Heading out?” John asks, and your mom nods. “I’ll walk you out to your car.”
“Oh, no need.” she smiles, touching his arm when he stands up. “You two go snuggle that little girl.”
You laugh, “It’s only 6 PM. I’m half tempted to wake her up, so she’s not up at 4 in the morning looking to play with her new toys while John and I are still passed out from running on 4 hours of sleep.”
John hugs your mom and looks out the window to wave at Dan, who is talking with Jimmy in the driveway. John looks at you and bounces Ronan a little, and you turn to your mom and hug her, holding on tight.
“I love you and I’m so proud of the woman you’ve become.” she whispers softly, “One day you’ll be hugging Ronan--”
“Nope!” you laugh as you let go of her, “I don’t want to think about her being an adult. Nope, nope, nope.”
John laughs when your mom playfully widens her eyes and grimaces. She leans down to give Ronan a kiss, then she grabs her bag and waves before walking to the door. You turn to John and exhale sharply, looking down at Ronan in his arms.
“I am…so exhausted.”
“I just had a nice nap,” John says, and you cock up your brow. “Okay, so I wasn’t sleeping when you two started talking but I didn’t want to be rude and I also didn’t want to ruin the moment, which was very sweet.”
You walk over to him and pucker your lips for a kiss, “Can we just hang out the rest of the night?”
“Absolutely,” he nods, then he shifts Ronan a little, “But I have to put her down.”
“I think that she should sleep with us tonight,” you say as you move her brown hair out of her face, “I just want to fall asleep with my two favorite people.”
John nods his head in agreement, “I think that sounds like a fantastic plan.”
Since you’ll probably come back downstairs to get something to eat later, you only turn off a few lights. You let Bleu out to use the bathroom and give him some food as well, then you head up to your room. John carefully changes Ronan into some pajamas and out of her fluffy pink dress that is slightly covered in dirt and cake, then he lays her in the center of the bed where she immediately snuggles down.
You change into something more comfortable, then you sit on the bed and look at John as he just stands there a little awkwardly. You furrow your brow and watch as he walks over to the closet, then he digs through it and pulls out a box.
“So, uh…”
“Jonathan!” you quietly scold him, “We already did anniversary gifts.”
He shakes his head, “This isn’t an anniversary gift. It’s something I’ve been working on for a while now, well, for about a year.”
You start to get up but he shakes his head and sits down next to you on the bed. He hands over the box and gestures for you to open it, and you nudge his arm before playfully rolling your eyes. You take the top off the box and reach into the tissue paper, and your fingers wrap around what feels like a book.
Pulling your hand out of the box, you look down at the book and immediately smile, “Our Baby’s First Year.”
John scoots closer and wraps his arm around your waist, “Open it.”
Flipping the book open, you feel tears burning your eyes when you see the very first picture ever taken of Ronan. Her wrinkly little hands and soft skin, just a few moments old. You turn the page and see a photo of Ronan's first smile, captured at just two months old. It's hard to believe how small she was back then, but you can still remember the moment vividly.
As you continue flipping through the pages, you see all of Ronan's milestones--her first steps, her first words, and even her first Christmas. Each moment is captured beautifully. You turn the page again and let out a laugh when you see it’s filled with twelve selfies of John and Ronan--one for every month.
“Shut up,” you laugh, pointing to the one of her at eight months old where she’s smiling at John, “Look at how much she loves you.”
“Look at how much she loves you.” he says, flipping the page.
You immediately slap your hand over your mouth when you see the pages covered in images of you and Ronan that John has taken every single month, pictures that you didn���t even know he had taken.
“I snuck pictures all the time, I still do,” he says softly, “I had to have Tess help me because I kept getting a notification about my phone storage. She told me that I had too many pictures saved. I couldn’t tell you because…”
You nod when he gestures to the book, “John, remember what I said earlier about wiping off my makeup?”
He laughs, “Yeah. Definitely not even in the top ten sweetest things I’ve done. I didn’t do it to be sweet. I just wanted to help you feel better.”
“It was definitely sweet, but this…” you look down at the book and flip through the pages, “This is beyond sweet. I don’t…I don’t even have words. Thank you so much.”
John presses a kiss to your temple, “You’re very welcome.”
This book is a testament to all of the joy that Ronan has brought into your lives, and you know that it will be treasured for years to come. You’re already planning on putting it on the coffee table and making every single person look at it when they come over, not only because your baby is gorgeous and the most precious thing on the planet, but John took a lot of time to put it together.
Closing the book gently, you place it on the nightstand and lean into John's embrace. All the anxiety you had been feeling earlier about Ronan growing up has passed. It’s been a quick year but a great one. She’s happy and healthy, as are you and John. What more could you ask for?
Well, you know one thing.
You lean back and look at John, a smile growing on your face, “Want a piece of cake?”
“Why did I think you were going to ask if I wanted to have another baby?”
You scoff as you get up from the bed, “Patience, Mr. Wick.”
John smiles when you look back at him, “Okay, okay. You did say that we would start trying when Ronan would start potty training though.”
Turning back around, you lean against the door frame and hold his gaze, both of you smiling like absolute idiots. You smile at him as he turns to face you more, and you cross your arms and laugh a little.
“Well,” you shrug as you glance over at Ronan, then you look back at him, “I guess we only have to wait six more months then.”
Pure joy rips through John as he gets up and rushes over to you, lifting you up as you both laugh. You look over his shoulder and see Ronan still completely zonked out on the bed, and you close your eyes and hold tight to John as he carries you down the kitchen for a much deserved slice of cake.
__
taglist: @lilithlinen @ladyren33 @multifandombliss @ruby-octo @tnu-ree @scream-queen-25 @beingnerdyissupercool @sakurachan-9
#john wick x reader#john wick x you#john wick imagine#john wick x y/n#fic: hold my hand#wahhhhh i want ro to be a baby forever :(#i would be just like reader and sobbing over it#john is the best man ever no surprise there#happy birthday to ro lmao#and happy anniversary to john and reader#anyway i hope you enjoy
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I've been building up this post for quite a while so I think everything in this post is kinda out of order and looks like a bit of a big word vomit... So sorry in advance. Also since it is kinda longer than I realise, I am putting it under the cut. And I am open to any discussion.
(Personally think I may have gotten a few things wrong and if so, please correct me?)
I think the thing about Orym and grief is... A part of him has never let himself grieve his loss properly. He has accepted that they are dead and will never come back, yes. He makes it a point to live up to them everyday, yes. But acceptance is not the same as grief, it is a part of it but not the same.
And this was an interesting discussion I was having with my friends and I feel that it strikes so true here, is the fact that you remember the worst moments of your life more vividly than the happiest moments because in your happy moments, you don't question what happened to you as much as you question your worst moments in life.
And Orym has lived with that question for six years. Now, the same could be said to Ashton and Imogen and Fearne and the rest of the Bells Hells really but as pointed out in this post by @caeslxys. (a really good pot btw) Even though the others have had their questions as to why a particular bad incident happened, Orym has had the shortest time to actually cope with it while for the others, it has been years at this point and maybe they have sort of come to peace with most of their shit before it came back to hit them in their face. And for some, it just hit them recently.
And for Orym the question of "Why?" resurfaces again and again the more he seeks out answers and when he does get the answer... I don't think anyone would really love to learn that the two most important people in their lives were dead because "it was just collateral damage. They didn't really have to die but they did." Not when you were having a happy, peaceful life. They signed up for this, yes. But it is also not fair to have your whole life cut short just because a big shot wants to test a theory.
And I am not trying to say that Orym bringing up his losses every time they have a discussion about the Vanguard is right or wrong because he has every right to and may be wrong at the same time because he is biased. Because at this point, he is very biased.
Apart from what I mentioned above, Orym watched Otohan kill his husband and father. He fought Otohan again and this time lost his life, Fearne and Laudna. He fights Otohan again and nearly loses Keyleth. Fights Otohan again a fourth time and knows that there would've been more losses if FCG hadn't sacrificed themselves. Not to forget Otohan killing Eshteross, something I think Orym internally blames himself for because she read his mind for the information. And even if Otohan is now dead, the loss stays.
I also think that seeing Will when he died had more of a personal impact than he realised because I know while seeing the dead person can sometimes bring some comfort, at the same time, when you are trying to live up to them, trying to answer questions that are just beyond you when you really haven't had the chance to completely grieve and accept, the grief possibly just hits you more.
SO while the Hells have had their personal losses with the Vanguard and Otohan, I think Orym has had the longest beef with the group among them all. He didn't know about the Vanguard 6 years ago, yes. He discovered their name along with the rest of the Hells. But loss wise, Orym was the first of the lot to suffer due to the Vanguard.
This is not me trying to put an exact scale or measurement of the loss cuz it is intangible and stuff. But he's been dealing with it for 6 years. Maybe not for harbouring revenge, but the resentment hasn't completely gone but rather festered the more he seeked answers. So he is going to be extra jaded.
But not to forget the fact that up until Bordor, he did try to see the Vanguard's point too, still kinda does (the locket he took from a Vanguard member as a reminder) but I think by the time of Bordor's betrayal, he's had too many losses with the Vanguard to actually care of their point of view because all he's seen of their group is innocent people getting killed or almost killed for no reason at all.
Bordor's beef as a person from the Vanguard had been against Laudna, Orym and Ashton but he still nearly killed Prism and would've probably marked it off as collateral if she'd died. Dropping off the locket with Bordor doesn't mean that he left all his empathy but at the same time, like he mentions, they are at war. And war doesn't really discriminate amongst people. It just takes.
Like he said to Imogen, I think he still tries to believe the Vanguard can have some people who are good and not all of them are evil but all he's know from the Vanguard at this point is loss and Liliana's blind faith towards Ludinus or Predathos doesn't help.
So back to the recent episode.
Do I think that it is wrong for Orym to bring up to Liliana about his dead family as an answer to her response. No. Do I think it was a wrong time to bring it up? Maybe. Because Liliana was not being confrontational but Orym was turning confrontational the more the discussion happened.
But the thing about Orym saying it to her face is that... It is one thing to know that there have been deaths and even if Liliana didn't directly cause it, she was a part of the group that did and brush it off as collateral damage. And no one does a census or survey post the "collateral damage" on how it affects the other person because now, they have what they want to there is no use to go back there.
And Orym is kinda like that mirror which is like... "SO you had a loss because of the gods and now are going around leaving collateral damage you want to fix stuff? Guess what? Your collateral damage was my life that you just uprooted just like the gods/god people did yours, so are you really any different from the people you hate and the change you want to bring about?" (which is kinda the parallel between Orym and Bordor I find really interesting because this is a cycle that is never ending at the end of the day)
And did Orym need that outlet? Hells yeah. GIVE THAT MAN A HUG!
#long post#critical role#critical role spoilers#orym of the air ashari#the downsides of being a psych student#you analyse the shit out of stuff#at least I do#messy thots#cr speculation#orym needs a hug#Also have 3 continuous exams so if I am going to edit (and later on hate on how I have worded this post...) it will be after 3 days.#character analysis
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Mom and dad have been at each other's throats ever since the divorce, laying out all their dirty laundry thick and heavy, arguing nonstop, things even got physical once or twice. But whenever their dear, sweet son's around, all of that goes right out the window. They just love him too much to put him through all of that! It was hard enough on the poor boy when they had to explain dad would be moving out and having to get used to only seeing her every other week, any more drama and his little heart might not be able to handle it! So whenever he's around, they do the absolute most for him they can. Taking him on dates, buying him clothes and toys and games, cooking all of his favorite meals; whatever their baby boy wants, he gets.
Of course, there's an undeniable element of competition involved in all of it, neither mom nor dad are willing to sit back and let the other parent become the favorite. At least, not without doing everything she can to make sure the title rightfully goes to her first. But at the end of the day it's all about doing everything they can to please their boy, right?
Once his 18th birthday began to appear over the horizon, both parents could hardly leave him be for five minutes without again asking what he wanted. After all, if they could be the one to make his graduation into adulthood as special as possible, obviously that meant they were the superior parent! But every time he was asked, the boy only ever wanted one thing: to spend the day with both of his parents, together. They tried for weeks to get something, anything else out of him, but the boy remained firm. Really, it was the only thing he'd truly wanted since they split apart.
So they agreed, putting aside their differences for one day only, for the sake of their kid. It was the happiest they'd ever seen him in years, and that fact was almost, almost enough to justify spending an entire day with their ex. The celebrations were, for the most part, standard: more gifts than the boy could ever know what to do with, two massive cakes, and an unseen tension between mom and dad. Their boy was an adult now, and for all that entailed there was one detail on both of their minds, one they shared with the occasional bitter glance when he wasn't looking: now that his virginity was up for grabs, it was going to go to one of them, and it wasn't going to go without a fight. Things were kept under wraps, though. Now wasn't the time for bickering, not when their precious boy was the happiest he's been since they split. If playing nice and getting along was the price they had to pay for that smile, then so be it. But, once the night began to draw to a close, and it was time for dad to go back home, those tensions slowly began to surface. It was mom's week with their kid, hence the celebration happening at her house, and she made her ex-husband increasingly aware of that fact as the night went on. Dad had been sick of it for years now, and to be frank, this was her final straw.
Before she leaves, dad grabs her son by the waist and pulls him away from mom into a deep kiss, shoves her tongue down his throat and has her way, all the while staring mom down with a gloating venom in her gaze. The look of shock, confusion, and mounting anger in her eyes, having defeat snatched from the jaws of victory. It was almost as hot as the pitiful way their boy tried to fight back: pushing uselessly against dad's chest, striking at her to no avail, whimpering pleas around the fat tongue stuffing his mouth. Dad grabs his wrists with her hands, only needing one to hold them above his head and keep them there, and only then pulling out of his mouth to admire him. The smile on his face, the light in his eyes, it was gone now- replaced with betrayal and fear. Fuck... dad hated how much more it turned her on.
"Mom... help me, please... get dad away from me. I don't want this, she's scaring me..."
A plea, hardly more than a whimper, fell from his lips. Dad continued to look right past the boy at mom, daring her to take him up on his word. She couldn't tell what was going on behind those eyes, but didn't need to wait long to find out. His pleas seemed to have fallen on deaf ears, seeing as once mom was within reach a hand slithered up their son's shirt, grabbing a breast and teasing a nipple. She leaned in close, cooing into his ear,
"You shouldn't talk about your father in such a nasty way sweetie. I thought we raised you better than that"
The words danced from mom's mouth, they sounded so familiar, so safe, as sweet as syrup and honey. It made the things she said taste all the more bitter. As choked sobs start to fall from their boy's mouth, mom and dad shoot each other one more glance, less hostile than before. Here, in this vulnerable, fucked up moment, poised to take their son as their own, whether he likes it or not, the two have a realization. They'd spent so much time and energy trying to one-up the other that the idea of working together never came to mind. They'd done well enough alone, but as a team, they could rape raise their son better than they ever could before.
After all, for him? No price would ever be to high.
#wow#i didn't expect this to turn out to be so... much#howling#fauxcest#nsft#t4t#t4t nsft#rape/noncon#🐦⬛🐶#wolfie writes
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Pregnant? Pt6
Author note:HOWDY sorry this took forever I've been sick the last few weeks and late last week I ended up getting an allergic reaction to something we still don't know yet I see my allergist soon about it but I've also had writers block so I apologize this took so long but here it finally is
Tag list: @hauntedpostpersona @moxkindagirl @babybatlover
Tw: talks of pregnancy, mentions of death and miscarriage, mentions of vomit/throwing up and mentions of sex, use of their real names
It's been about a week since Rhea took the test and you guys went to the appointment and found out that both of you we're in fact pregnant about 2-2 and a half months to be exact. Both of you and all 3 of the boys were very excited but some other people didn't have the best opinions about this. Of course you guys had to tell hunter so he could plan a head and set up a promo to announce you departure from the company for about the next year. The boys decided that it was alternate 1 being home and the other two being away every week so one of them would be home with both girls. Hunter was very excited to hear the news considering he was the one who brought you to NXT from Japan all those years ago. But some of your fellow could workers were not the happiest although you had the ones who were your closest friends out side the WWE Universe like Baily, Becky, Asuka, Seth, liv and so many others but then again not all of you got along in real life like solo sikoa which was weird because the rest of the bloodline were very good friends with you and Damian. Speaking of bloodline Sami was another wrestler fond of you all because of the whole poly thing he never understood and though it was selfish for someone to date more than one person. But all your guy's friends threw a party for you and Rhea as a going away for now kinda thing which was a lot of fun Bad Bunny was there as him and Damian were still the best of friends Rey was there as he was happy he was getting 2 grand kids and he said that if Eddie was still with all of you he would be so happy for all of you and be proud if how far Dominik has come and some of your friends brought their little ones as everyone loved them like edge brought Ruby and lyric and Becky and Seth brought Roux but it was a lot if fun and you were so tired afterwards that when you got home you and Rhea got changed into some pj's and just passed out on the bed. It's been a few days since the party and currently you were sitting on the couch waiting for Finn to finish cooking lunch because you were extremely hungry and today Rhea decided she wanted to backstage with the other two because it was Finn's turn to stay home today so it would just be the two of you.
Hey guys that's all for part 6 I hope you enjoyed again so sorry it took so long I had a bunch if shit going on and I don't always also have a bunch of motivation so being sick and all that didn't help with that but hopefully I will be back to making a bunch of stuff soon and don't forget to check out my request post I'm currently working on one but please feel free to flood my inbox cuz that also give me motivation and also if you aren't sure if I do a character ask in the request and I'll DM you if I make stuff for that character or not
#rhea ripley x reader#damian priest x reader#dominik mysterio x reader#the judgement day#poly! judgement day x reader#finn balor x reader#wwe x reader#demi bennett x reader
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I found this interesting books ask :
https://www.tumblr.com/dnana-2809-blog/749706502296813568/bookish-asks?source=share
Do you mind if I ask, no. 13, 14, 15, 18, 34, and 50? Thanks...😁
oooh
13: "Name a book with a really bad movie/tv adaption"
ummm i dont actually have an answer to this. i don't really watch movies/tv very much and the adaptions i watch for my fav books arent that bad.
14: "Name a book where the movie/tv adaption actually was better than the original"
oooh i really liked little women (2019). ik i cant really say confidently that it is better than the books because i havent read all of them, i've only read little women, so 1/4 of the books, but i just think the movie is so great. i loved the book and it was cozy and precious but i ADORE the movie. yk?
15: "What book changed your life?"
hmmm this is a little sad but i wouldn't say any book changed my life... that's not because i havent read any good books though, it's more due to the fact that my life feels like a river with strong currents and i'm only floating along- with barely any freewill or the ability to change my fate (if u believe in fate. i dont believe in fate but i just thought it was appropriate to say)
thoughhh i guess if i had to pick one then it'd probably one from my childhood... harry potter? i hate jk rowling ofc etc etc but harry potter was what got me into the world of books i think... well ive always been a reader but harry potter made me really obsessed with being a reader, and the months after reading it was magical and full of joy
18: "Which character from a book is the most like you?"
oh, definitely tori spring. it will always be tori spring. she is me at my best and she is me at my worst and she is me in my dreams and in real life and in every life that i have lived and will live. no, i will not explain.
34: "List five OTPs"
ooh hmmm. okay this isnt in order tho:
1. Alice and Henry from 'if you could see the sun' (it is my favourite romance book T-T)
2. James and Oliver from 'if we were villains' (it's been years and i am still not over them. i will never be, i'm afraid)
3. Wylan and Jesper from 'six of crows' (they are so precious to me. i would kill for them)
4 tori and michael from 'solitaire'
5. pip and ravi from agggtm
honourable mention: rin and nezha from 'the poppy war'. i didnt know if they counted since they were always more enemies than they were lovers... sigh. i miss my doomed-by-the-narrative blorbos
50: "Why do you love to read?"
i've always been a little afriad of living life, tentative with my friendships, scared of adventure, afraid of change, etc etc. so i like to live vicariously through characters. actually, my love for reading has many layers and branches of reasoning to it, but i find that this is the happiest and plainest answer i can offer, so it is all i will offer (for now? maybe i'll make a longer post some other time
thank you SO MUCH for this ask :DDD IT WAS SO FUN
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can i get a christmas with rooster hc 💗
congrats again my love!
a/n: ty anna!! also first time writing for rooster, but i love him nonetheless (after this i am also not opposed to writing more him hehe)
tw: mentions of death [carole/goose :((], one mention of having kids
A Very Bradshaw Christmas with Rooster would include...
*gif credit @pohjanneito
bradley 'rooster' bradshaw aka mr. christmas
when i tell you he is the most festive person known to man, i mean it
bradley 1000% pulls out the christmas decorations the second thanksgiving is over
in fact, it becomes tradition for the two of you to stay up until midnight after thanksgiving dinner to decorate your place for christmas
in the beginning, you thought it was quite silly, how seriously he took the holidays
it wasn't until after spending a few christmases with him that he opened up to you about it
"some of my best memories are from the holidays... it's when i remember my family at their happiest."
while decorating that night, you begged him to share his favorite moments with you
the far off look in his eyes and the fond smile on his lips made it clear that he missed his family more than he let on
so this christmas, you planned to make it as memorable for him as you possibly can
"my dad and i would sit at the piano and sing christmas songs for my mom while she prepared dinner. he would put on quite the show even if it was just us three at home."
you had arranged a little christmas sing along in honor of nick bradshaw
you invited the dagger squad out that night and printed out some sheet music of rooster's favorite christmas songs and gave it to penny to place on the piano
when the two of you arrived the hard deck you dragged him straight to the piano where the rest of his friends were already gathered
you sat at the piano bench and patted the seat beside you as you beckoned him over
"sing me a song, sailor," you teased
always for the dramatics, he let out an over exaggerated sigh before taking a seat next to you while his friends all hollered
bradley's eyes danced over the sheet music for "sleigh ride", quizzically, but he played it anyway
after the first song was over, you flipped through the pages and pulled out "christmas (baby please come home)" which was carole bradshaw's favorite
being as smart as he was, rooster immediately realized what you were doing and you swear you have never seen his eyes shine so bright
he played through the songs with ease and was a little sad once it was over though he didn't mind that you had shifted into his lap at the end of the night
"has anyone told you that you have the voice of an angel?" you muttered in your sleepy daze
"i've been told that i sound more like a chicken."
"well, whoever told you that is wrong because you're an angel. my angel."
if you had been wide awake you would've been able to see the tips of his ears turn red at your words
"i used to help my mom make her special gingerbread cookies. she promised to tell me her secret recipe when i started a family of my own. i never thought she'd wouldn't be here to see it."
the week leading up to christmas, you told bradley you were out gift shopping when you were really at penny benjamin's every afternoon
you asked mav if he knew about carole's gingerbread cookies, which made him light up like a child
he told you carole gave him a box every year
he unfortunately had no idea how to make them, but he did offer to help you replicate the recipe as best as he could
it's how you found yourself surrounded by twenty batches of cookies in penny's kitchen
"i think batch three tasted closer than batch seventeen."
"which one was batch three again?"
in the end, you settled on batch fourteen
maverick's wavering confidence didn't help soothe your nerves, but he swore up and down that the cookies tasted almost exactly like hers
when you finally made them for bradley, you burst into tears
"i think they need some more sugar, hun."
"so they don't taste like your mother's?"
"were they supposed to?"
he realizes his wrong choice of words when hot and heavy tears started to stream down your face
you practically crumbled to your knees then causing bradley to fall onto the floor and scoop you up into his arms
he cradles your head into the crook of his neck and whispers soft apologies into your ear
"no, i'm sorry. i knew i shouldn't have trusted mav when he said 2 cups of salt. i'm sorry they're not your mom's."
"honey, they may not taste like mom's but they're yours. and sure maybe they are a little salty, but i love them anyway because you made them."
"you sure?"
"promise. though i hope you don't mind if i give the rest of these to hangman. tomorrow how about we try to recreate them together, yeah? i think my sense of taste might be a bit better than mav's."
"and when it was finally christmas, we would get together with all of our family and friend's to exchange gifts."
the festivities of the night had finally died down with amelia knocked out on the floor while penny and maverick were cuddled up on your sofa sifting through the gifts you gave them
you and bradley were in the kitchen, cleaning up the rest of the dinner dishes
"hey honey, can i ask you something?"
"hmm?"
"did you try to replicate my family's christmas traditions?"
he must have seen the way your face immediately fell because he's dropping the dishes back in the sink and running to your side
"i just wanted to do something special for you. i'm sorry if i made you uncomfortable or sad i just thought you'd like it. i'm sorry if i crossed a line, i won't do it again."
he's cupping your face, bringing your gaze to meet his
"i did like it, hell i loved it. i was just thinking, what if we started our own family traditions? new ones?"
he gets down on one knee and the gasp you let out is so loud that penny and maverick are rushing over
"i already had a ring picked out and everything, but i can't wait anymore. i can't believe you did all of that for me. when it hit me, i realized i want to spend all my christmases with you. i want to make new bradshaw traditions with you and our own family. will you marry me?"
you crash into him, almost sending him onto the floor
he catches you with ease and you press your lips to his
when you pull away, you press more to every inch of his face, muttering an excited "yes!" in between each one
"bradley bradshaw, i will marry you."
penny and maverick gather the two of you in their arms, fawning over and congratulating you both
amelia pouts when she hears bradley completely ditched their plan and spontaneously proposed (she was still happy for you, nevertheless)
you and bradley spend every christmas after creating new traditions, eventually passing them on to children of your own
#bradley bradshaw x reader#bradley rooster bradshaw#rooster x reader#rooster bradshaw x reader#holiday headcanon sleepover
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Fic Writer Interview
Oooh, this looks fun! Thanks @plusultraetc for tagging me!
-- How many works do you have on AO3?
16. Huh. Didn’t think it was that many tbh. Yay me? :D
-- What's your total AO3 word count?
97,793! Almost 100k! Yipee!
Fun Fact: Before my latest fic, it was at a nice, very satisfying 88,888. I’d like to say that’s why it took me over a year to upload another fic, but well. I’d be lying lolol.
-- What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
a definite sign of what we will be (someday)
be my fictional obsession (my newest daydream)
you know i make you wanna scream
like sugar and cyanide
like heaving through corrupted lungs (‼)
(^ Didn’t think she’d make the cut! Proud of her!!)
-- Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I love responding to comments!! It’s a wonderful excuse to ramble about my writing and share my thoughts about my beloved blorbos with like-minded souls. Unfortunately, I am. Shy. I’m usually good at responding when a fic first drops because the sheer adrenaline/euphoria of finally posting something propels me out of my shell, but once that wears out. Help.
I do read and cherish every single comment I receive tho - and I’m very lucky to receive such thoughtful comments, too! Just know that if you’ve ever commented on any of my fic – ily <33
-- What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
Uh. All of them? Aldkjfskfj okay, that’s a lie, but tbh it’d be easier to point at the ones that don’t have kinda bummer endings. I love me some angst. :3
The title for Angstiest def has to go to ‘friend make sense of me’ tho. Yowch.
-- What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
Oh, ‘be my fictional obsession’ for sure. Although ‘strawberry soju' is a strong contender, ultimately ‘bmfo’ is simply Sillier, so she takes the crown. :3
-- Do you write crossovers?
Not really! Though I have toyed around with writing AUs in other settings, the most recent of which is a BBC Merlin AU, which, let me tell you, has been tons of fun, even if I’ll probably never get around to finishing it lol.
-- Have you ever received hate on a fic?
I was about to say no because everyone has always been so lovely to me, but then I remembered that one person who bookmarked ‘like sugar and cyanide’ only to call it ‘lame’ for being self-indulgent and not ending with EraserMic getting together. Which was kinda funny ngl, because, like, my guy. The Unresolved Romantic Tension is right there in the tags, and also I repeatedly dunk on myself for being self-indulgent in just about every chapter note, so like, move along, sister, this is not the fic you’re looking for lmaoo.
-- Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Nope! Love me some innuendo and crass humor, but the most I ever see myself doing is a fade to black or maybe some vague allusion to the act (← see, I just did it), because it is simply not my cup of tea.
-- Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope, but I’d be open to it for sure!
-- Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Another no, though I’m not sure I’d be a good fit for it tbh. I’m a bit precious about my writing process. 😅
-- What's your all-time favorite ship?
Oh god, this is a Question. I mean, I have to say EraserMic given how much of my (fan) life it has consumed these past years, even if I do have some complicated, and at times contentious, thoughts and feelings about it.
QPR MicNight is right up there, though! I have just as complex and much less contentious feelings about QPR MicNight, my beloved. <3
I have so many QPR MicNight WIPs, you guys. One of these days, I’ll even finish one. orz
-- What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
CRIES. ALL OF THEM.
Okay, non-dramatic answer is ‘as the mists roll in at midnight,’ which is a WIP I started and finished outlining back in 2021 (it even got a title!) and then never got past the second chapter.
It’s a sort of house horror AU, featuring EraserMic, QPR MicNight, unexplained happenings in the woods, and a haunted inn that just wants to keep you safe. I love it so so much that I kind of got overwhelmed by my love for it, and thus my need for it to be perfect, and now I fear I shall never get back to it. </3
The same is true for so many of my WIPs, if I’m being honest. Shout out to Midnight Time Loop AU, ‘a song for a song,’ and ‘you know i make you wanna scream,’ the latter of which is the reason I no longer post multi-chap WIPs. rip.
-- What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue and narrative voice. I get so many niceys comments on both, especially my narrative voice for Mic, which makes my heart do a happy dance every time. :)
-- What are your writing weaknesses?
Establishing and describing setting, unfortunately. The struggle to not end up with characters talking and introspecting in The Void all the time is real. OTL
Also there's the more technical stuff like my abuse of adverbs, em-dashes, and run-on sentences, as well as my point-blank refusal to kill my darlings at times, but I like to chalk all that up to Style, Vibes, and This Hobby is Supposed to Be Fun, Damnit, so we don't count any of that. :3
-- What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
No strong thoughts in particular, just the usual 'as long as it's done well' caveat. Though I do like when honorifics and such are sprinkled in here and there, hence why I tend to do so in my fic. I find it serves as a helpful reminder that these characters are Japanese, and thus hopefully helps to stave off some of that dreaded, inevitable Americanization of everything.
-- What was the first fandom you wrote for?
BNHA, which, let me tell you, came as a surprise not just to me, but also to anyone who knows me irl. I was famously Not Very Much Into Anime for most of my life. Go figure.
-- What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?
BBC Merlin!
I watched (and was obsessed with) the show way back when, but have only recently gotten into the fandom, and good GOD has it been a struggle to not hop right in to writing fic for it, especially for Gwen/Morgana, my beloved toxic yuri queens. Only reason I haven’t is because I’m loathe to add to my already heaping WIP pile.
-- What's your favorite fic you've written?
Oof, this is a hard one.
‘strawberry soju’ has my heart right now because it felt like such a different undertaking than most of my previous work (it’s a 9k, non-linear, Aizawa POV one-shot! There’s actual kissing in it!) and also because I learned a lot while working on it. I didn’t have a real outline when I started writing, only a premise, one or two strong images of interactions I wanted to include, and several themes I wanted to touch on. It was a struggle working with such bare bones at times, but I'm glad I kept at it, because I'm proud of how much of the core themes and concepts came through in the final result.
However. If I’m being honest, my real answer to this question is the fic I wrote for Something Just Like This, an EraserMic zine I contributed to that is currently in production. I wrote that fic back in February, and it’s been absolute hell not being able to share it this whole time because I’m just so goddamn proud of it!! I won’t say anything else because I could go on forever about it and I’m contractually obligated to not spill the beans, but GOD I can’t wait for you all to read it. 🥺
-
Okay, that's enough yapping for now, but this was so much fun!! Thanks again for tagging me! <3
As for me, I'll tag @scream-mans-friend (no pressure!!) and anyone else who wants to take a crack at this. c:
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A Moment with Nyx
Summary: Rhys and Feyre share a moment with Nyx after he is born.
Notes: Spoilers for ACOSF
Teaser: “I never thought the happiest moment of my life would also be the most terrifying.”
__________
“Darling,” I said, easing myself onto the bed next to Feyre and sliding my arm around her shoulders. “I love you,” I murmured against her hair, breathing in the scent of her.
I’d lost count of how many times I’d said those words to her today. The fact that she’d almost . . . My chest throbbed at the thought of it. I knew Feyre knew that I loved her, that there was nothing in this entire world I wouldn’t do for her, but in our final moments all I could think of was that none of it had been enough.
Feyre turned her head to stare at me with her gorgeous gray-blue eyes. “I love you, too.” She pressed her lips against mine and my body shuddered. She pulled away, her brows knitted in concern. “Rhys,” she trailed soft kisses along my cheeks, brushing away the tears that I hadn’t even realized were falling. “Rhys, it’s okay now. We made it. We’re here.” Feyre kissed me one more time before looking down at the sleeping babe in her arms. “We all are.”
I gently placed a hand over the one Feyre had supporting his head.
He was perfect, and he was ours.
“Nyx,” I whispered, “Our Nyx.”
It was a miracle he was here. That any of us was.
I looked again at Feyre. My mate. Mother of my child. Her hair was slightly disheveled and I could see in her eyes how tired she was. “Can I get you anything, my love?”
“No, not right now.”
“Are you feeling okay?”
“Yes, just tired,” She admitted.
“Are you sure?” I pressed.
She smiled at me. “Yes, Madja said we were all going to be okay, remember, Rhys?” And then as if she knew what I was about to say next, she added, “It’s normal for me to feel tired.”
I knew she was right. Madja had said all three of us were perfectly healthy after Nesta had used the trove to save us during Nyx’s birth. She’d checked Feyre and Nyx extensively and then insisted on checking me as well. She was amazed—we all were— by what Nesta had given to save us. There was almost no limit to what I would do or give to repay Feyre’s sister for her sacrifice.
I rubbed my thumb over the back of Feyre’s hand.
A son. We had a son.
In all my years I’d never hoped to have a family of my own. I never dared to consider a mate who would see me for everything I am and not only accept me, but love me as she does. And offspring… Feyre had given me a son.
There was nothing I wouldn’t do for them.
“Rhys,” Feyre whispered, “A thought for a thought?”
She knew me too well.
“I felt you…” I started, “felt you dying. And I knew that I was dying too. And that Nyx was…” My voice became shaky and I trailed off.
Feyre rested her head against my shoulder. “I know, Rhys… I felt you too. I felt you holding onto me, trying to pull me back.” Her voice cracked. “I was trying so hard to stay.”
“I never thought the happiest moment of my life would also be the most terrifying.”
“Me either,” She agreed.
We sat in contented silence for a while. I had no idea how much time had passed while I held my mate and our son in my arms. I was beginning to wonder if Feyre had fallen asleep when she said, “You once told me that everything you love has a tendency to be taken away from you.” I tensed up, but let her continue. “Those are my things too now, Rhys. We share those things. They are mine, just as much as they are yours. I love you, the way you love me. And I love Nyx, the way you love Nyx. And our family. And our Court. All of it, Rhys. We are one, until the very last star winks out of existence, we are one. And I will share, and protect the things you love just as you do.”
I kissed her temple several times before resting my forehead against hers. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“You should get some sleep.”
“I know.” She smiled softly, shifting her attention to Nyx, “but I don’t want to put him down.”
“I’ll hold him.” I replied, sitting up in bed so that I could reverently take the small winged boy from her. He stirred in my arms for a moment but did not wake, not as I tucked him against my chest and laid back onto the pillows.
Feyre rolled onto her side next to me, placing a hand over Nyx. “We made him.”
“I know,” I grinned, “That’s why he’s so beautiful.”
Feyre chuckled, and Cauldron, she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, especially as she began to glow with that brilliant light of hers.
“Happy, Feyre darling?”
“More than I ever thought I could be.”
“Me too, my love. Me too.
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