#but safe to say i'm not super anxious to pick it up again

[slightlyrebelliouswriter23]

Em I'm so surprised you didn't like The Locked Tomb! I would've thought you of all people would love it

what is this secret TLT vibe i didn't know i was exuding 😭💀

[spennsrs]

drunk confessing to spencer? "shh, don't tell anyone but 've got a crush on him" my fave troupe everrr 😭😭 love your writing sm ❤️

(\ (\ („• ֊ •„) ━O━O━━━━━━━━━ ・:。DRUNK TEXT. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ︳spencer agnew x reader drabble ︳pure fluff ︳i love this trope sm :( decided to do a lil spin on it!! n also if this is short... im so sorry

spencer had a bad feeling bubbling in the pit of his stomach. something felt... off. while he sat on his couch, scrolling through netflix aimlessly, his eyes kept glancing to the dark screen of his phone.

from the screen... to the phone... back to the screen... then to the phone again...

his hand reaches to the mobile device, eyes focusing as the screen lights up to check the time. a soft sigh leaves him as he takes note of the time.

2:35 AM

they should've texted by now. they should be home from that stupid party... right? unlocking his phone, spencer opens his messages to reread over the conversation with you. they would text him when they got home... right? spencer's mind races with anxious and concerned thoughts as he sets his phone down, exhaling shakily.

... ding!

from :: [y/n] 🤓💞hey heeeeeey pssst keep a secret for me courtney pretty pleeeease

spencer feels a brow raise as he reads the texts, holding back a soft laugh. he simply stares at the screen for a moment before going to respond, only for more texts to flood in.

from :: [y/n] 🤓💞 im hella drynk drunk and i thynk its supwr obvious but like dont twele anyone spnecr is saur cute and i have .. the biggest crush on him no not crush that makes me sound like a lovesick schoolgirl but you get what i mean hopwfully

silence filled the living room as spencer stares at his phone screen, a little dumbfounded and a little overwhelmed. was this... real? was this actually happening? this couldn't be real. his best friend and object of his ever growing affections was drunk texting him, thinking he was someone else and confessing. well... maybe confessing wasn't the right word. they were more just rambling their feelings.

was there a right way to go about this? would [y/n] even remember this in the morning? should he even say anything? in a panic, spencer just... stares at his phone screen. his free hand comes up to his mouth, nervously chewing on his fingernails as he's seemingly too nervous to respond.

spence, you could always call-

his thoughts are interrupted yet again as his phone starts to ring. spencer's heart stops, and he swears time slows in that moment as the screen lights up with [y/n]'s caller id. shakily, he picks the phone up and answers the call.

"hello...?" "spence! oh em geee, heeeeeey! i'm hooome, i totally forgot to tell you so hi cutie, i'm home."

the soft giggles and steady breaths only fuel spencer's rapidly beating heart, and a soft smile tugs at his lips. "hey, [y/n]. i was starting to think you were hurt or something... but i'm glad you're home safe and sound." there's a pause of silence, before he swallows thickly and opens his mouth to speak again. "you okay..?"

"keep a secret! courtney didn't text me back so i'm sharing this super top secret secret with you! i have these ultra big feelings for spencer... isn't that crazy?" he so desperately wished he was there to take care of them. he knew they were a talkative drunk, he knew they never drank enough water and he just hoped their roommate would urge them to do so... he knew everything about them, everything came so naturally with them. so why was he surprised? everyone already thought they were dating, three long years of friendship, they were constantly asked if they were dating. within the three years of friendship, spencer had developed those deeper feelings pretty quickly.

but for some reason, when he was hit with the sudden truth that they returned his feelings... why was he so flabbergasted? the intense feeling bubbling in his chest, the quickened breaths, how his hands felt clammier than usual. "spenceeeeee? you theeeere?" "oh, fuck, uh .... sorry, [y/n]. yeah, uh, yeah your secret is safe with me."

there's a selfish part of spencer that decides to keep this to himself, to cherish in this moment. the whole awkward conversation that was bound to happen was an issue for future spencer.

but for now, [y/n]'s giggling voice telling him they felt the same was all he cared about.

[girlfromthecrypt]

I finally got to read the update!! Don't mind me rambling a bit about everything I loved about it...

I really enjoyed the beginning of this chapter.  Being playful with Basil in the van is super cute. It was interesting to see Reem and Basil not getting along a little bit, it makes me intrigued about if there will be any cracks in our little friend group's foundation that might start to show. And if so what that might mean when things start going bad.

Also, Anita is adorable!! It had me giggling when she called everyone attractive--I loved getting to tease her about it afterwards. I chose to room with her and the siblings--though the thought of Basil sleeping alone makes me nervous for the future...

Definitely Looking at Anita's comment about how your sanity starts slipping when you go without sleep. I'm SO eager to reach the horror. Though the slightly slower, cheerful beginning is so great. I love getting to know everyone and seeing them happy and bonding, knowing that there's horror on the horizon...

Javier talking about his mom marrying his dad straight up made me snort laugh. I work with kids and they truly do say the most out of pocket things. It's very true to life. And ooooh, Basil and Gabriel just...staring at the woods got me so hyped. Reading that scene gave me a proper thrill, that little 'heart-pounding-faster' feeling that makes me love horror so so much.

Hell yes at getting to tell the kids a scary story!! I remember being a kid and hearing classics like Don't Turn on the Light and being scared out of my socks. It's sooo fun to be able to play at passing that on to a whole new generation!! I'm 100% in to romance Basil, but this update makes me want to do a run where I romance Anita. She's so so cute. And the siblings both are great in their own ways... I'm sensing that I'll end up doing runs for each of the ROs, you've made such fun and sweet characters!

Aaah that ending!!!! Genuinely terrifying, and made me so anxious about the kids!! I KNOW my MC is going to be hard-pressed to keep them all safe. I can't wait to see what comes next!! I love how you write characters, they're all so likable and distinct!! This was such a good update, it makes me really eager for more.

HI (omg it's that cool person) HIIII <3

Thank you so much for this. I'll have you know I reread this ask like three times and I'm probably gonna read it all over again tomorrow bc it gives me life. I can't express how happy I am that you cared to write such a long ask bc of my IF if all things. Thank you, it made my day.

Basil and Anita's on-the-road scenes in the van were my favorite to write!! And yes, there's certainly a bit of tension in the group. MCs with high sociability or perception will be able to pick up on this, also on George's fondness for a certain colleague--- but don't worry, no one's at each other's throats. Yet.

And yay, some Anita appreciation!! Cut her some slack, she's not used to being around hot people and between a possibly cute MC and the FUCKING MALAKS of all people... yeah. It's not easy for her.

Ok so you know that you can also sleep in the van with Basil if your relationship stat/his approval of you is strong enough? I hope that was clear from the dialogue options and you just chose the cabin despite of it, bc if not, I might have to rewrite the choice. Furthermore, while I can see why you'd be worried for him, I'd be more concerned for an MC who chooses to sleep alone ;) [yes, this is me hinting at a future horror scenario possibly unique to that route].

Ah yes, Javier, my son <3 lol. Nahhh I don't favor any of the campers. Though, if I had to pick which one I liked to write the most, it'd probably be him.

Now I feel bad haha. Ok but srsly, kids can be VERY outspoken, and Javier especially has noooo social filter. You might notice that some of the campers' traits specifically correspond to some of the ROs' characteristics... Looking at Gabriel and Basil here.

Both campfire stories are also really close to my own heart, so I jumped at the chance to include them. As for the ROs, I do hope you'll do a run for each of them! I'm trying quite hard to make it difficult to choose between them ;)

I love that the ending hit the way it was supposed to. If you want to know what's up next, I have one word for you: confusion. Lots of confusion.

See, I need to give this story a slow, slice-of-life start, bc purely from a narrative standpoint, it wouldn't make sense for the horror to come out guns blazing. That's why the MC will at first be the only one to experience the horrors and for the horrors to (seemingly) originate from one of the kids, bc if it was more dramatic and the threat was to come from an exterior source, everyone would just pack up and flee and then the story would be over. That's what I figure.

Anyhow, I'm so glad I still got you hooked with this project. Thanks so much for this super long message.

[scarlet-witchery]

Omg, I’d love to hear more about the galladads/starr verse universe!!! ❤️ what would mick and ian be like at the first school event they go to with starr? A little outta place over protective dads?! ❤️❤️

Oh man, I feel like they'd feel so out of place because they're so obviously not her parents, but her bio parents disowned her and so somehow through the magic of fanfic they're able to at least become her legal guardians. (it probably takes a LOT of paperwork considering prison time and all that but this is fiction I do what I want!)

So Ian is insistent that they dress nice to make a good impression and Mickey doesn't see why his regular clothes are a problem but he puts on a nice button up anyway (and Ian ties a tie for him <3) and Starr is so chill okay—fuck you guys she's not nervous or anything—and they go to her school, talk to her teachers and everything

They are glad to see a couple of other kids that say hi to her in the hallway and everything, and she's all quiet and a little bit shy (aka the exact opposite of her regular personality—she first showed up all anxious and angry when the guys took her in, but she's gotten to be pretty bubbly and boisterous and really come out of her shell lately) and Ian tries to give Mickey a Look™ about it but Mickey is just worried about the kid

And thankfully Starr enrolled at school after she's started taking blockers and such, and she's socially presenting as a girl, so she doesn't have a lot of people misgendering her like they did at her old school, although anyone who does will be very quickly corrected—it'd probably be teachers since they'd be more aware of the situation? But most of her teachers are pretty chill and call her Starr and use she and all that

But yeah anyone steps a toe outta line and the guys have got her back. Like I said before Mickey would walk into this knowing nothing about trans stuff, but same as with Ian's bipolar he would do his research because it's important to the people he considers family, and they've very quickly accepted her into their family

But I do think that there's probably some stupid assholes who give Starr a hard time at school (as there always is) and Mickey gets super protective of her—he's there to pick her up and makes sure the bullies get a good look at him, knuckle tats and all, so they know exactly what they've got coming if they mess with his kid (not that Ian is above giving asshole bullies a good punch in the face, but "they're teenagers, Mick, you can't hit them!" "you think they know that? fuck no")

Also he tells Starr that if she's gotta then she can tell people she lives with ex-cons so that the bullies get scared away (she tells him that no, she'll fight her battles, and Mickey's like "okay then I'm at least gonna teach you how to throw a punch" and poor Ian gets to be the punching bag 😂)

I feel like they'd try to help build up her confidence and give her the tools to protect herself, you know? Especially because they want her to feel like she's safe in a world that's not always kind to people like her, and she deserves a chance at a good life. Ian also gets her signed up for like, boxing classes or something after school when she talked about being interested in doing something like that. But she also loves doing girly things like shopping, and Mickey endures the mall now and again for her sake (lbr he grumbles the whole time but he's there okay) and Ian always asks her to show them what she got since she clearly comes home all excited about it

I just love them letting her have the chance to be a kid and a teenager and give her a sense of autonomy while still trying to make sure she stays safe. They remember their own lives growing up and want her to have the best of everything that she can, especially with what she's already gone through. And yeah, she'd be a stubborn bratty kid sometimes but Ian had to deal with all his siblings, he's used to it :p he'd read parenting books for foster parents and figure out the best way to meet her where she's at, that sort of thing

okay I think that's all for now because this reply went on a lot longer than I expected but! I hope you enjoyed some more Starr verse ramblings! I love talking about her she's my new favorite OC tbh

[deadbydangit]

Hi! If you’re open to taking requests right now could I please ask for how bubba, Jeff, and vittorio would take care of their sick s/o? Tysm!! <3

I can absolutely do that. I'm sorry it's been taking me so long to get to requests. I've been anxious, tired, and kind of depressed. But I'll keep trying to bring everyone at least one thing every day.

Taking Care of a Sick Reader

Jeff, Vittorio, Cannibal

Jeff Johanson

Jeff is a very vigilant person.

He's always been that way.

So when the first sign of you being sick appears, he knows.

You just sneezed though.

"You sneezed three times. Every time that happens you start to get sick."

And he's right.

As an artist and musician, he's trained himself to pick up on tiny little details.

First off, straight to bed.

If you're in the middle of something, he'll finish it for you.

No: ifs, ands, or buts.

You're in bed.

At least when you're sick, you get to have his amazing soup that he only gives you when you're sick.

It's his way of creating a silver lining.

He isn't big on medicines though.

Jeff was in a bad crowd, he had seen people get addicted to drugs from the littlest things.

He just doesn't want to risk that in you.

Instead, he'll go more homeopathic.

You'll be better pretty quick too.

It doesn't matter how much you coughed and sneezed, he won't get sick.

It's like he has super powers.

"I don't have super powers, I just can't be sick. Otherwise, I couldn't be there for you."

Vittorio Toscano

During his time, a cold could mean a death sentence.

So, even if he doesn't show it, he's very worried.

Vittorio is really good at hiding that worry though.

He doesn't want you to panic.

That would only make things so much worse.

Some of the other survivors might have to catch him up on modern medical knowledge.

Once he's assured that you aren't going to die, then he'll be much more helpful.

He'll insist on doing everything for you.

Even carrying you.

Everywhere.

Even if you don't need it.

He doesn't really understand that you don't need that.

Or he does, and just wants to be your hero.

Modern medicine is far from what he knew; pills and other drugs aren't common knowledge to him.

What is common is plants.

He'll be working together with Claudette to use herbs to make you feel better.

It tastes terrible.

But it does have you feeling better.

He doesn't get sick either.

He knows to wash his hands and give you some distance.

"Now that you are feeling well again, I can safely hold you."

Cannibal

This boy is surprisingly calm.

You'd expect him to panic or not know what to do.

But he's very calm.

He had a big family.

Big.

And he would usually take on a very motherly role.

He's taken care of everyone in his family with sicknesses at least once in their life, usually more.

Bubba is super good with helping you when you're sick.

He might not seem like it, but he's very tender and affectionate when he wants to be.

He isn't a fan of showing that side of him to the rest of the world though.

It's only reserved for you.

He might try and cook you some soup.

Do not eat that soup.

Seriously.

Don't eat it.

To spare his feelings, just say that your stomach hurts too much to eat.

He's very gullible.

He knows it's important that you drink plenty of water and get plenty of rest.

He'll frequently check on you throughout the day too.

You'll never have an empty water glass, nor will you never have enough blankets.

He knows exactly what you need, and how much of it you need.

And, as much of a pushover he may be, you aren't getting or doing anything that will make you feel worse.

Your job is to lay in bed and get better.

His job is to take care of you.

And he takes that role very seriously.

[tapinix2]

Hey guys, I'm obsessed with Ducktales so I'm making an AU for it

We all know that Donald has anger issues and sees a therapist.

Well, what if a bit after the triplets are born and a while since Della has left there's an incident. He loses his tempor and one of the boys gets hurt, not badly, it's just a scratch, but he still feels horrible about it.

Donald is super anxious, so it's no surprise that he starts constantly worrying about accidentally hurting them again.

After talking to his therapist they decided that it would be best to send HDL to a foster family while maintaining guardianship until he's made more progress and can control his anger better.

They make arrangements, child services suggest trying to contact any relatives first.

While Donald insists that Scrooge is unfit to parent the boys, they call him anyway. Suprise suprise, he doesn't answer no matter how hard they try to talk to him. He's too busy pouring all his time into finding Della, ignoring anything else, he doesn't even find out about what's happening with his nephews.

Normally his close friend and housekeeper would answer these calls, but she has her hands so full with baby Webby (who's just shy of a year younger than HDL) that they go unnoticed.

Gladstone says that he would love to take them in but he's currently planning for a four year long expedition that includes traveling to casinos for gambling and drinking, not very kid friendly. He'd postpone, but the opportunity to visit some of the venues only opens once in a thousand years, and he is determined to win some big money in those legendary casinos. (hint hint, he gets trapped in one of them).

Feathery offers to take them, and child services denies due to the fact that he lives alone underwater. The conditions aren't safe for young children to grow up, but HDL will be allowed to visit once in a while if requested, as the facility itself is sound. He isn't willing to abandon his work on the edge of a breakthrough and move to a house above sea level.

So it's decided they will go to foster for a bit, Donald's only condition is that they don't get separated no matter what. He figures that even if something happens that they can't talk to him again, they'd always have each other. Everyone agrees to this and the paperwork is brought out.

Things are good for the first year, they go to this nice couple with an older kid, see their uncle on weekends, and start at public school. Donald's therapy is making progress, but he hasn't been able to hold down a job so the boys are to stay with the foster until he's financially stable.

Then Dewey gets into a fight. It wasn't his fault, really, but these older boys were picking on him so he punched them.

Louie tries to stay out of it, he's the smallest of the trio since he hatched last, and when one of the boys comes at him he uses his size to duck under them and run off. He goes to get a teacher.

Huey attempts to break it up at first, but after they push Dewey to the ground and try to hurt Louie, overprotective big brother loses his tempor.

He beats the bullies up, despite them being two years ahead. They aren't so injured they need medical attention but one of them hit their head and passed out, while the other two are bleeding and cowering against the wall when a teacher arrives.

HDL gets blamed for the incident, and they all get in trouble while the bullies get off. Despite Louie's protests, he's been marked down for cheating on a test and the school assumes he was part of it as well. Usually, they would just get detention, maybe a short suspension, however, one of the bullies just happens to be the son of a very influential school board member.

So the triplets end up expelled, after a lot of exaggeration over the incident and some crocodile tears from the bullies. They use Donald's anger issues against them, to prove that the boys are unstable. At this point they had only been in school a few months.

The school board talks to child services and recommends that the triplets are sent to homes or schools for troubled children. After half-ass assessing the boys, they ignore Donald's request and split them up.

Huey was able to play things down for himself, he's not a good liar but he's a goodie two shoes who managed to appeal to them. He stays with their original family for the time being and is moved to a different public school, while attending semi-regular therapy sessions for a bit.

Dewey is abrasive but hasn't been in trouble with the school before this. He tells them that the older boys started the fight, and while they don't entirely believe this story they go easy on him. They notice that he's very hyperactive, with love for adventure. Dewey is sent to Cape Suzette, where other foster/orphan children with a lot of energy have gone and seen promising results. They believe that being able to put his mind into more complicated things will calm his spirit. He bounces around the city a bit, and becomes friends with Kit who knew his mom from flight school (although they were never very close).

Louie gets it the worst, despite being the only one not involved in the fight. The bullies had claimed that he had been the one to start the whole thing, and the school board was very biased in their favour. Louie had previously managed to trick these three into giving him extra dessert at lunch, so this was their form of payback.

No matter how much he tried to explain that it wasn't true, the previous marks on his record for cheating made him out to be a bad kid. In actuality, he only tried to cheat because he was too lazy to do the work. He's a smart kid and he knew the answers, he could have passed just fine.

Thus, Louie ends up at a home for 'troubled boys'. He's one of the youngest, definitely the smallest, and way out of his element considering he was falsely accused.

The fight happened on Monday, the expulsion was finalized on Wednesday, and the boys were moved by Friday. On Saturday Donald is told that HDL got into a fight at school, and they believe his anger issues may have been a negative influence, so they want to pause the weekly visits for a little bit. Believing that they know best, and not having been told that the triplets were split up, Donald doesn't argue. He only asks if the boys were hurt at all, to which he gets a truthful "no, minus a few scratches".

AND THUS

THe boys have been separated, at an age where they would hardly rmbr once they grow up, and Donald has lost contact with them.

Do they manage to find each other and reunite once again? Do the triplets ever end up in a stable home? Does Scrooge get off his ass and become a parent figure to Webby? Will Donald attempt to contact his nephews again or become discouraged by everyone telling him he's unfit to be a parent?

We'll just have to wait and see.

I've been calling it the "finding family au" but I suppose you could also call it "split up au" as well.

This is the basic backstory, which I probably won't draw out, and we have a little more to go through until we get to the start of the actual story. I plan to make a mini comic for that little prelude, although it may take a bit to finish.

Send me asks about this and I will love u forever, I'm working on drawing designs for the triplets rn.

Yes, many more characters will be included. I have plans for team science, team heroes, team magic, May + June, and Goldie. If u have anyone else u wanna see let me know!

[darkstar225]

Twice's 10th member has an eating disorder

A/N: I got two similar asks on Tumblr and Wattpad so I put them together, hope the anon and my fav writer from Wattpad @emmlovesmarvel like it! :) emlovesmarvel

The requests: Are you sick of me yet? Haha. Could you write one where Mina picks up on the fact that Y/N has an eating disorder and Y/N gets super anxious about her finding out? I'm such a sucker for fluff (A/N: I'll never get sick of you bae)

can you do twice 10th member having an eating disorder? only if you are comfortable with it! (A/N: You're too sweet, ty for asking and I am! Feel free to ask, if I'm not comfy doing it I'll answer the ask saying so :D)

PS: Tysm for everyone that reads what I write, I hope I can bring a smile to your faces every time I post! I'd like to thank whoever sent me this idea 'cause I loved writing it <3

__________________________________________________________

Y/N had always admired her Mina unnie, the graceful and talented member of TWICE. As the youngest member of the group, she often found solace in Mina's presence, feeling a sense of security whenever she was around. Mina's gentle demeanour and kindhearted nature made her approachable, someone she felt like she could confide in when the weight of her secret became too much to bear. But there was one secret that the maknae had been carrying for far too long, one that weighed heavily on her heart and consumed her every waking thought. She had been battling an eating disorder silently, trapped in a cycle of self-destruction and denial. Even if she had become skilled at hiding her struggles, wearing a mask of contentment whenever she was in the presence of her group members, it was still really hard.

However, the youngest's attempts to conceal her pain did not go unnoticed by Mina. As observant as she was compassionate, Mina couldn't help but pick up on the subtle signs of her sister's disordered eating. She noticed the way Y/N's eyes lingered on food, filled with a mix of longing and fear. She noticed the guilt that flickered across her face whenever she took a bite as if each nibble was a source of shame. (A/N: Just wanna let you guys know that if you feel like this, you are free to talk to me. You guys are beautiful inside and out and I understand that it's hard but you have people that love and worry about you guys S2)

Mina's heart ached for her honey. She understood the weight of secrets and the toll they could take on a person's well-being. Determined to help her young sister, Mina made it her mission to approach Y/N delicately, offering a safe space for her to open up. One evening, as the members of TWICE gathered in their shared dorm, Mina took TWICE's sugar aside. They sat on the edge of her bed, the atmosphere heavy with anticipation. Y/N's heart raced, anxiety coursing through her veins, fearing that her darkest secret was about to be exposed.

Y/N - Mina unnie, is something wrong?

Mina reached out, gently placing her hand on Y/N's trembling one. 

Mina - Lovebug, I've noticed that you've been struggling. I've seen the signs. Please know that I'm here for you, and I want to help.

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes, her façade finally crumbling under Mina's compassion. She nodded, unable to form words and let the tears flow freely. Mina wrapped her arms around her sweet dongsang, offering comfort and understanding, allowing her the space to release the pain she had been holding in for far too long.

After what felt like an eternity, Y/N managed to find her voice again. 

Y/N - Unnie, I... I don't want the others to know. I'm not ready for them to see me like this.

Mina listened attentively, her expression filled with empathy. 

Mina - I understand your hesitation, baby, but sometimes, sharing our burdens can make them feel lighter. We're a family, and I believe the girls would want to support you through this.

The maknae's heart wavered, torn between her fear of judgment and the longing for the love and support of her TWICE sisters. She took a deep breath and spoke softly, her voice barely audible. 

Y/N - Promise me you won't tell them just yet. Give me some time to gather my strength.

Mina nodded, respecting Y/N's wishes. 

Mina - Alright, darling. I promise. Take all the time you need. But remember, we're here for you whenever you're ready.

Days turned into weeks, and Y/N began the difficult journey towards recovery. With the support of her sweet Mina unnie, who served as her confidant and guiding light, TWICE's honey took the first steps towards healing. She attended therapy sessions and sought professional help, slowly untwisting the tangled web of her eating disorder. As her progress became more evident, Mina couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of pride. Watching her young sister find the strength to confront her demons was nothing short of inspiring. Mina knew that it was time to share her battle with the rest of TWICE, to let them in on the secret that had haunted the youngest for far too long.

Gathering the group together one afternoon, Mina took a deep breath and mustered the courage to speak. She shared the truth about their dongsang's eating disorder, her voice filled with love and concern. The room fell silent, the gravity of the situation sinking in. One by one, the members of TWICE embraced the maknae, their eyes brimming with tears and hearts filled with empathy. From that moment on, Y/N's journey towards recovery became a collective effort. Her sisters from her chosen family in TWICE rallied around her, offering unwavering support and encouragement. They attended therapy sessions together, ensuring that she never had to face her battles alone. They shared meals, celebrated every small victory, and helped redefine their kiddo's perception of beauty and self-worth. In the safety of their sisterhood, TWICE's babygirl discovered the strength she never knew she possessed. She learned to love herself unconditionally, embracing her flaws and imperfections. And as her body and mind healed, the girl found solace in the fact that she was never alone in her struggles.

The road to recovery was not without its challenges, but the maknae knew she was never alone. With Mina by her side and the unwavering support of her other sisters, Y/N found the courage to conquer her eating disorder, emerging stronger and more resilient than ever before. And as she stood on the stage, bathed in a sea of adoring fans, TWICE's angel felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Gratitude for Mina, who had seen through her façade and offered a lifeline. Gratitude for her unnies, who had stood by her side through every step of the journey. Most importantly, she felt gratitude for herself, for finding the courage to fight, to heal, and to become a beacon of hope for others who may be trapped in the darkness of their own secrets. As this happened, the unnies looked at their baby with adoration in their eyes and a single thought:

We are proud of our dear maknae.

A/N: I apologise for any errors, English is not my first language. Pls, let me know if there's something wrong, ty for reading <3

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Super proud of you for getting out and doing things! Most people don't realise quite how hard that is to do with agoraphobia. I'm happy to see that you're out and doing things! And its been amazing watching you/hearing about how you're claiming your life back from your ex. And I can't wait to see where life takes you next!

Thank you! 🥹 I hope you and your little man are doing well!! My best friend's baby is getting so big, and it's still crazy to me that she's a mom 😳

Agoraphobia is no joke at all. I used to love getting out of the house, and now the very thought of it can absolutely paralyze me. It's been a struggle, I won't lie. There are so many days that I just can't get myself to leave the house for anything, even though I need to go do something. But I'm letting myself embrace the small victories because sometimes that's all it takes. Last week, I let myself be proud of the fact that I got out to pick up a prescription, even though I really didn't want to.

I ranted and I'm so sorry 😭😭 It's below the cut for those who are interested 😬

THANK YOU FOR YOUR MESSAGE!! 💕 I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING MIA AROUND HERE LATELY. AND THAT I HAVEN'T UPDATED ANYTHING IN SO LONG 😭 BUT THANK YOU FOR STILL BEING HERE!

As for taking my life back from my ex? I'm reconnecting with a few old friends and getting closer to my family again. When I was in college and grad school, I talked to my mom almost every single day. That stopped when I started dating my ex-husband. My mom admitted to me that she had stopped calling me because she realized that he and I typically fought after we talked, and she didn't want to make things worse for us by calling to check on me. It made me really sad to hear that my mom was afraid to talk to me because she thought that my husband would get angry. But now, I talk to her at least once a week, sometimes multiple times a week, and she's been so supportive and let me know how proud she is of me for each little step I take. I don't know what I'd do without her.

I've lost a few friends, which makes me a bit sad, but they're the people who believe the lies my ex-husband tells them, so I've realized that I don't need them in my life.

I made the realization a couple weeks ago that I was always anxious and exhausted around him because I had to mask my autism constantly. He got really upset when I stopped masking and would make comments about how he missed the 'old me.' I was quite literally not safe to be myself in my own home when he was around because he didn't love me for who I was; he loved the idea of having a wife who did exactly what he said to do and never disagreed with him for any reason. The more I began to discover about myself and my AuDHD, the more he would say he missed the way I was when we first met: a hyper-anxious, depressed, undiagnosed AuDHD doormat.

Life is still rough. Finances are very tight because I ended up keeping the expensive rent, which wasn't so bad with two incomes but is very rough with just one. I also had to get a lawyer to help me with what should have been a simple divorce since we had no kids or assets, but he made it as difficult as he could. So, I also have a lot of lawyer debt I'm working to pay off. But, as my therapist and I agreed, it was a small price to pay to never have to speak to my ex-husband again.

Where will life take me next? Building a savings, and then, hopefully, traveling. My ex-husband didn't know how to save, or budget. We had quite literally no savings because he just wouldn't stop spending. So I'm trying to build up an emergency fund again, which I haven't had since before getting married.

[herofics]

Hello, hello! I saw your recent post about Hawks comforting a suicidal reader, and I got curious with other writing prompts you made. Little did I know, I would grow to love it very much! I'll definitely read more of your posts in my spare time, thank you for making these!

Anyways, I hope I didn't catch you in a bad time. IF, and only IF you're feeling up to it, I'd like to request a Hawks x female reader who has AWFUL social skills and stutters a lot. It's not that she has anxiety, but it happens too often to the point people sometimes misunderstand her. Nonetheless, she tries REALLY hard to communicate with people, especially with Hawks. Little did anyone know, she has a passion for drawing! One day, the reader decided to finally confess her feelings to Hawks; however, there's a twist. The reader was never really good with words in the first place. Instead, she decided to give him a sketchbook filled with little sketches, paintings and complete drawings of him, the reader, or together, with a bit of aesthetic shtick going on (old timey newspapers, Latin quotes in papyrus, colorful pressed flowers, you know, those kinds of dark/light academia aesthetics you see everywhere). To add the cherry on top, a note on top of the sketchbook says, "You are the walking embodiment of the quote, 'What if I fall? But darling, what if you fly?' Thank you for inspiring me to be bolder and for being with me. I love and appreciate you, Chicken Feet."

I'm not sure if this idea had been done, but don't feel pressured to do it whether or not it has been written down. Again, thank you very much, and I wish you the best day!

Have a Chikim Kigs for all your troubles ^^

Sounds very familiar tbh, I’m super awkward and anxious socially, and I absolutely suck at talking to people. When I really need to tell someone something, I write it down and send it to them as a message, because I suck at talking. I think this is a really cute idea and I hope I did it justice. I have a masterlist in the pinned post where you can find all my stuff categorized by character. I hope you have a great day, I’m certainly having a good one :D

•You’re not very good with talking to people, but you do really try

•People still seem to misunderstand you a lot, and sometimes they even get irritated at you

•Sometimes people just don’t even make the effort to understand, but Hawks does

•He’s very patient with you and if he feels like he’s maybe misunderstanding you, he asks more questions to make sure and the situation usually resolves itself like that

•You and Hawks have been friends for a while now, and you’ve fallen for him pretty hard

•You’re not at all sure if he would return your feelings, he’s always been pretty hard to read and not just for you

•Hawks doesn’t really reveal much about himself, even to the people closest to him, but he does feel really safe and relaxed with you

•You started working on your little sketchbook project about a month before you gave it to Hawks

•It was a fun project but when you finally decided it was ready and you wanted to give it to him, you were super nervous

•You didn’t know how he was going to react, but you knew that if he was going to reject your feelings, he was going to do it kindly, that’s just the kind of person he is

•Hawks came over to your place since you were going to go to lunch from there

•You seemed really nervous for some reason, which he picked up on immediately

•So of course he asked you if something was wrong, and you just handed him the sketchbook and requested he would take a look at it

•He started flipping through it and you could see his pupils getting bigger with each page, like cat’s eyes do

•He was also smiling like a total dork, because he was so happy

•You felt a wave of relief wash over you as he flipped through it and he seemed to be very happy with what he was seeing

•Hawks had been super nervous about telling you how he felt, because he didn’t really know if you would return his feelings

•Your lack of social skills make you a bit hard for him to read, but he did have an inkling about you maybe liking him back

•When he got to the end of the sketchbook, he saw your little text bit with the “Thank you for inspiring me to be bolder and for being with me. I love and appreciate you, chicken feet”

•He suddenly hugged you were tightly and whispered in your ear “I love you too, dove”

•You felt all the nervousness leave your body as he said that and you hugged him back after you got over the initial shock

•You were so happy he returned your feelings and also that he liked your way of confessing to him

•Hawks is over the moon and the two of you also go through the sketchbook together because he wants to know how you made it

[neopuff]

title: equilibrium word count: ~1900 characters: holiday, rex, & six w/ some six/holiday summary: Holiday needed to work on her bedside manner. ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47545924

“I don’t know, Doc…can you just wait a minute?”

“It’s fine, Rex. Just settle down. It’ll be over in a second.”

“Please, just-! Just wait, okay?”

“The longer we wait, the more anxious you’ll get.”

“I-I don’t care! Just back off!”

“Rex!”

The needle she was about to stick in his bicep was shattered by a mechanical arm that suddenly burst out of Rex's chest. Holiday gasped and moved out of the way as a few other spindles of metal jutted out and attacked in random directions.

The preteen EVO jumped up from the exam table and hugged himself tightly, staring up at Dr. Holiday with watery eyes. "I'm…" he started to say, not sure what had happened.

Holiday stared back down at him. She held up her hands in surrender, hoping to calm him down. "It's okay, Rex. Just take some deep breaths."

He shook his head rapidly back and forth, then moved his hands to the sides of his head and groaned. "No, it's not!" he yelled at her.

Before Holiday could say anything else, Rex rushed out of her lab - trying to build his little motorcycle and failing. She watched him go and frowned, knowing she should've followed but not knowing if it was safe.

Rex would never purposefully hurt her, she knew that, but he didn't have complete control over his nanites. Sometimes they would lash out for him when he was holding his feelings back. In just the few days she'd been working on him, Holiday had seen this happen three times. Once with Six, once with Bobo, and now once with herself.

She reached up to press a finger to her comm. "Six?"

"Doctor?"

"Rex ran out of my lab upset. Can you make sure he's alright?"

"Did something happen?"

She sighed. "He didn't react well to getting his flu vaccine."

"...should I bring him back to your lab?"

"Only if he wants to." Holiday took a seat at her desk and ran her fingers through her hair. "I don't want to stress him out again."

"Affirmative."

She leaned back in her chair, staring at the lab ceiling. Dealing with a moody, super-powered preteen was not something she'd thought would be a part of her 30's. He'd been pretty happy-go-lucky on the first day after Six had found him, but it didn't take long for the stress of Providence to fall onto his shoulders.

White Knight's constant barking certainly didn't help. And Six never said a thing about it - Holiday assumed he felt guilty about what had happened between them, but she hadn't asked. Six was extremely quiet and closed off and she wasn't sure what to expect from him most of the time. Assuming Rex felt similarly, that couldn’t have been great for his stress levels, either.

She sat up and walked over to the shattered pieces of syringe that were still on her floor, squatting down to pick them up carefully. She would have to try again - Rex needed more than just the flu shot, but she was taking things one step at a time. It was difficult to be in charge of his medical care when she knew so little about pediatrics - she'd been doing as much studying as she could and talking to the Providence medical team as much as she needed to. None of them were interested in formally helping her with Rex's care since they'd all seen the security footage of his body expanding and contracting into violent bursts of metal and flesh.

The lab door opened and Holiday stood back up, surprised that Six had found Rex so quickly. The two of them walked in, Rex in front of Six and looking glum with the older man's hand on his shoulder. He didn't look like he wanted to be there.

Holiday frowned. "Hi, Rex."

Rex grumbled in response and stuck his hands in his pockets, looking down at the floor.

Six squeezed Rex's shoulder. "Tell her what you told me."

She looked between Six and Rex, waiting patiently.

"I…I'm sorry for freaking out, Doc," Rex started, still not making eye contact with her. "But I asked you to stop and you didn't!"

"You're right, Rex," she said quietly. Of course she felt guilty about it, but she had so much to do and no time to do it. Every delay in her schedule was another scream session from Knight that he'd inevitably turn into another punishment for Rex. But she couldn’t protect him from being hurt by hurting him differently and she needed to find the right balance. "I should've listened to you. I'm sorry."

Rex finally looked up at her, a light blush on his cheeks. He wiped at his eyes and nodded. "Okay. Okay. Thanks. Thank you."

Holiday nodded, still feeling guilty about what happened but happy that Rex seemed to feel better. "How about we try the flu shot again tomorrow, okay?"

"That sounds good," Rex said with a smile. He rubbed the back of his head and looked up at Six again. "I feel better now."

"Good." Six nodded down at him. "Why don't you go play with Bobo? I need to talk to Dr. Holiday for a minute."

Holiday watched as Rex suddenly glared at Six - then he pointed two fingers to his own eyes, then towards Six's. She also swore she heard him quietly say something along the lines of don't go making moves on my woman, but she was choosing to ignore that.

She sat back down and waited for Six to say whatever it is he had to say. She had a feeling it wasn't going to be nice.

"Dr. Holiday."

She didn't want to look at him, but she relented and glanced up to find Six standing just a few feet away from her. "Yes?"

"You need to work on your bedside manner."

Holiday sighed, forcing herself not to roll her eyes. "No kidding. I'm still getting used to this, Six. I've never done any of this before."

Unexpectedly, he took a seat in a nearby chair - legs spread out and his arms leaning against them. "This is new for all three of us."

"Yes, well." She pushed some hair behind her ear. "Maybe you adjust better to things like this than I do. I didn't train for anything like this," she continued, motioning a hand towards the pile of paperwork that made up Rex's current medical records.

"Rex almost killed me yesterday," Six said suddenly. "I've never trained someone before. Never spent any time with a child before. And never experienced weapons like the ones Rex is learning to build."

Holiday stared at him, unsure how to respond.

"My point, doctor, is that Rex's situation is unpredictable. We both need to learn to be patient."

She picked up a pen, twisting it in her hands. "If only White Knight could understand that. I feel like he's one second away from firing me every time we talk."

Six leaned back in the chair, his frown not moving. "He won't fire you. You're invaluable here and he knows that."

"Doesn't feel like it." Her mind wandered to her sister, locked up and vulnerable and essentially a hostage in the Petting Zoo. Six didn't know about that, Holiday was pretty sure, or else he'd understand the desperation she felt about not disappointing her boss. "But I know what you mean. I know I need to slow down. It's just…hard."

He simply stared at her, feeling that she still had more to say.

"You've seen all this new funding we have coming in. It feels like I've had to meet with potential donors every day this week, along with Rex's care and reorganizing Fell's files and trying to finish the research project I'd been in the middle of. There's no time for anything."

"Maybe you should get an assistant," Six suggested casually. "Or two."

"White already rejected that," Holiday responded with a forced, toothy smile. "He said that if I'm so much better and smarter than Dr. Fell, I should be able to take on everything he did without a problem."

Six frowned again. That did sound like Knight. "Is there anything I could help you with?"

She raised a curious eyebrow at him, trying to figure out if he was serious or not. "Really?"

"Really. We're in this together, Holiday."

"Then…" she started, trying to hide her nervous smile, "could you take on the donor tours? I really can't waste my time on meet and greets anymore. They'll probably stop after next week, but this is such a pivotal time for me to get this work done."

Six, who hated socializing and hated schmoozing, took a deep breath before he responded. "I'll handle them from now on. You just focus on getting this lab up to your standards."

She smiled brightly at him - a smile that Six would think about for the rest of the week - and sighed dreamily like a giant weight had been lifted off her shoulders. "Thank you so much. This'll free up so much time for me, you have no idea."

He nodded slowly, knowing full-well Knight would give him an earful about this and probably make one or two inappropriate comments. But it was worth it to make things easier for her - which would make things better for Rex, and in turn make things easier for Six.

It was also nice to see her smile like that, if he was being honest with himself.

"Speaking of…" Holiday started, opening up a desk drawer and grabbing a sheet of paper, "there's a tour in an hour, actually. Private armory that wants to donate weapons and a few million dollars." She handed him the sheet. "They'd probably prefer to meet with you than me, anyway."

Six glanced at the paper and recognized the company name immediately. They made guns - lots and lots of guns. He didn't use guns at all, and his knowledge of guns was centered around disabling them. "Shouldn't be a problem."

They stood up together and Holiday thought about hugging him again, though last time he'd been so unreceptive she felt like she was hugging a dead fish. She opted to pat his arm and give him another thankful smile. "If you ever need a break from Rex, you can bring him here, okay? It's like you said, we're in this together."

He nodded and folded up the paper, shoving it into the inside pocket of his suit jacket. "I may just take you up on that."

With another small nod, Six made his way out the door, satisfied with how that conversation had gone. He and Holiday hadn't had a lot of opportunities to sit and talk just yet, but they were essentially co-parenting an amnesiac child and needed to be on the same page. He could handle White Knight and he'd try his best to keep him off her back. And they'd help Rex together - they just needed to strike a perfect balance.

Holiday looked around the lab now that she was alone and took a deep breath. Not having to schmooze with annoying army guys was going to make her days last so much longer. She reached for Rex's new medical paperwork and piled it back together. She had a lot of organizing to do.

[beesmcgee]

Okay I'm going to use this blog to process some thoughts because nobody reads it so it's a safe place.

Okay so for a while now I've been deep diving into autism (for the nth time in my life) and for the first time encountering all these first hand accounts of women with ASD. And it's like things are suddenly making sense for me. Screening questionnaires be like "is obsessed with trains and license plate numbers" and I'm like "well that ain't me". But an explanation specifically from women, and what it feel like from the inside. Some of them I'm like "wait that's just my entire life. They describe what my whole life has been like".

For 4 years now I have been without job, supported by partner, minimal social interaction, having therapy, on antidepressants, and now no pets. So. Minimal stress, like the least possible.

So I've started to think "oh I'm just your perfectly average human, no problems, perfectly functional" because I am not constantly crying and freaking out. I can make myself breakfast (most days, but sometimes I forget). I can mostly have a shower (although I spent some time averse to it because of the temperature change and volume of the water). I can do chores (dishes and laundry, other chores are forgotten about so house is mostly chaos). I can socialise in the one social thing I go to once per week (mostly saying hello and goodbye to people, or a rare awkward pub conversation where I am almost certainly not acting Normal). I can go on a weekend visit to my mother in law (but I get exhausted after a while masking and have to escape to the bathroom to be alone multiple times, eventually reaching a "migraine" point of sensitivity to noise and light). I can do the tasks I want to do (but mostly I get stuck hyperfocusing on the wrong thing or unable to get out of bed at all because I am Stuck. I am just Stuck on this thing, massive effort to redirect to another task, oh I'm Stuck again, oh no look how late it is, oh I'm Stuck once again). Yes, completely functional because my mood is the best it's ever been. For me that is an achievement. I have goals, I have intense interests that I pursue, I am not miserable. I wouldn't even say I am anxious anymore - I'm not like "I can't go to this thing because I'm afraid xyz will happen" or "I have to leave the room because I am anxious" anymore (thanks Zoloft); my nervous system just gets overloaded super easily and I'm like "I must be in quiet, alone". Obviously I am not functioning as you'd expect for a 30 year old human adult. How the hell do people have kids. Kids AND a job. WTF.

For basically my whole life I've been like "there is something very wrong with me". Religion probably contributed to that a lot. Stuff about realising I'm bi complicated that for sure. But it's like. All my troubles I internalised as a Personality Flaw. A moral failing. I'm just selfish, lazy, undisciplined, frivolous, childish etc. I've been undoing that with therapy for some time now, and it's nice to unravel that mess and be like "well, I am what I am". But I still want an answer.

I did very well in exams and uni. People often said I was "good at everything", could pick things up quickly, considered applying to Cambridge and everything. But the whole time I was a tense mess. School confused me, I was constantly worried about breaking some unsaid rule that everyone knew but me. I didn't know how to talk to the other people, didn't understand how to socialise. I could talk chaotically to my 2 friends (1 adhd, other maybe neurodivergent). But to anyone else, it was like. Does not compute. Hey how are you. That's all I got. I noted this line was said by people at like age 16. But that was all I got. I relied on my exaggerated facial expressions and small noises to cover up that I didn't know what to say, how to have an actual conversation that isn't a chaotic jumble of tangents and nerding out about art or physics. I was told I have very expressive eyebrows.

I just wanted to be at home drawing, or reading about physics. Drawing was my way of coping, my sketchbook a shield during social situations. I am the quiet drawing girl, oh don't disturb the quiet drawing girl, she's drawing. She's practicing her art, so it's not time to talk to her. I still do this now as an adult. I saw a home video of me at age 7, Christmas time, all my siblings playing board games and me off to the side, completely absorbed in playing with my ponies. They called me for me to join, I was just too absorbed to even hear them and I didn't respond, and once I registered I was like nah. In my own world, not really interested in being part of the group. I think that's just how I've always been.

Anyway, that's my rant, if you can call it that. I'm on a long waiting list to have an appointment to see if it's even worth pursuing an answer for if it is ASD. Will I be able to stop obsessing over this topic in the meantime? Maybe, we'll see I guess.

[d3n4sh1aaaa]

November 27th, 2023. 5:04am

i'm working my last overnight shift of the year, well? maybe. I'm not the typical overnight person but it's been relaxing while it lasted. I don't even know where to start off, i guess the best way to describe how i feel is overwhelmed? scared? nervous.. anxious confused? all of them at once. I've met someone, And it is honestly the most pure of interactions i've ever had with someone in my life. Here's the background; we went to high school together but never actually acknowledged each other. During the peak of covid's arrival i selfishly had a Halloween party and he randomly showed up, i was drunk out of my MIND! you seemed cool, but we still haven't interacted with me. Years go by i see you at the bar. Friendly interaction but i put no thought into it. One random day you messaged me asking if you can work with me because you have experience. At this time i was currently going through multiple loses so i didn't put any thought into hanging with you to celebrate getting hired. I'm distant, but i haven't forgotten our planned smoke session and our first time hanging out, to new co-workers! i'm so excited for the both of us. I was working an overnight and seen you as i walked in the team room and you smiled so hard at me despite how sleepy you actually were. This is the first time i'm seeing you sober, not running into you, fully taking in your presence. I can't even explain already the intense spark i felt instantly when i looked into your eyes. i brush this off. A week later goes by and i finally agree to hanging out with you. I picked you up and we smoked in front of my house. I shared all the crazy tea and stories and expectations to have while working at our job. It was nice. After you had asked to hangout with me a few times but i brushed them under the rug, i didn't want too simply. I folded at this point. Here we are, hanging out with our HS friend talking and vibing. It was a great time. I see you again and we go for an L ride. We drove to a pretty view and talked for a little while and smoked. I observed you being very shy, but thats okay. You're quiet, but its not uncomfortable. I can sit next to you without any issue. We drive back home and get stuck in 2 hour traffic on the high way due to a care being on fire, fuck. I look over at you and you're leaned back, both of our phones die at this point. i leaned back and we both fell asleep. As we wake up we laugh at how long it took, i apologized because i know thats not how he wanted to spend his Saturday night, he said it's not my fault and not for nothing, had a great time. We see each other again, and again, and again. Just smoking and talking, getting to know one another. This night was so special for me. You waited for me to get out of work because you needed a friend, and i was there. we met up at a parking lot and you felt so comfortable telling me your problems. We talked, and you drove me to a pretty view. We shared some deep trauma to each other. We both smiled and agreed is stays between us. i did it, i broke your shell. As we're driving you played a lil peep song and it brought me back to my teenage years. I found my peep match. We both get super excited as we exchange songs. We're driving to my friends house to hangout because the night is still young. As we're sitting next to each other we're even more conversive than we ever were. it felt like it was only me and you in the room. We left and drove back to your car and you looked at me like you didn't want the night to end. I gave you a hug and told you to be safe. The next day, i checked up on you and you called me an angel. I'm gathering you don't have genuine people in your life. You've been hurt before. As days go by i see you after work, maybe even before. We talk about nothing and everything at the same time. We've been hanging out every day at this point, and it feels very nice. i enjoy your company. You say little sweet things that aren't flirtatious but out of kindness, and its sweet to me. I notice the little things that make you happy and also put a huge smile on my face. pt 2-

[sucktacular]

Anyway I have my first therapy appt on Wednesday and I'm super nervous ... I know it's just intake before really getting into it all but like

Hhhh

I was doing so really really bad for months and months, like... Just not good at all without getting into it. It's been slowly getting worse and better and worse and better for the past few years since covid and everything changed

But like now this past week I've been doing a lot less terrible and I'm very anxious about like

Huhuhu I'm okay now I don't need this huhuhu I'm just wasting money and time I'll try again later :)))

When like I still have agoraphobia, I still don't function I'm still anxious to be around my house when ppl are home, I'm still not eating well, I'm still not right

I'm just

Really really anxious that I'll open something up in me and this good mood will slip away again

And I know this therapist has talked about like hey I recognize there are different levels of discomfort and I will guide us carefully and thoughtfully and if we get to an overly discomforting place I'll guide us back

But like I've also been to two different counselors (ah yes I know, I have so much experience!) and each time they made me either cry and riped open my wounds or I just got to the point where she was kinda putting words in my head and I felt so confused I just wanted to leave as fast as possible and then hung out in the secluded back waiting room trying to calm down by myself before leaving...

Idk I'm so very anxious of getting tripped up and falling back

But also like I know I need to deal with it all if I want to get anywhere better than I am. Where I am isn't sustainable, it's just a safe little hole in the ground I've dug out.

Idk it's times like these I feel like a huge faker. Like I don't actually have PTSD I don't actually have depression I'm just weird and anxious and like to lie and pretend I have problems!!! "My problems aren't that bad and it's weird that I am the way I am, dunno what that's about lol :))"

No matter how bad I feel no matter what, at the end of the day I look back and say, what a great act what a great show you preformed, bow and get off the stage!

I've been acting my whole life and these aren't traumas they're just things I latch onto and make it a defining character trait for my persona so that when ppl ask me why I'm anxious why I'm weird I can be like" oh here is my resume actually and here is every upsetting thing that ever happened to me. I'm valid I'm valid :) agreed? It makes sense yes? I'm glad my math makes sense to the masses :)"

And like the worst part is feeling that so deeply and then actively knowing, hey this is so very wrong and people don't think like this when they're healthy so I clearly have problems to work out so this isn't "not worth it" or "not the right time"

But it's just a vicious cycle of spiraling and picking thoughts and reasons and experiences and nonsense and at the end of it all the bad feelings are always stronger they always win.

I'll be honest but the diagnosises I've been given don't feel enough? And I'm sure I'm not the first person to feel like that and I know dealing with the things and symptoms like trauma and anxiety without having to name them clinically should probably be my focus but I feel so annoyed that if I said to someone 'hey my names Alex and I have PTSD and anxiety and dysthymia and adhd' it just doesn't feel like it is me enough... But also that's.. really embarrassing to say and cringe in the worst ways

Maybe it's part of the fucked up 'wanting worse things to happen to you' trauma parallels of wanting a bigger badder diagnosis so that I can be like THIS MAKES SENSE THIS IS WHAT I DEAL WITH when like I'm sure the labels I have, combined and intertwined, add up and make the math of my brain make sense but

Man it just doesn't add up it just doesn't make enough sense to me, maybe for the interview portion of my evaluation I was masked up too much maybe I didn't explain my thoughts and feelings enough or maybe it's real and they're the right labels and I'm just looking for a problem to obsess about

I can go in circles and circles about it all but I just don't feel right and I feel shifted and out of place in my skin and it feels eternal and never ending

Like being lost in a corn maze or something idk I've never been in one but it sounds like it'd suck

Can I just restart? Can I get a restart of my brain cuz I feel like tripping over my feet over and over and never falling down but never waking right

Feel well enough to be alive but scrunched up and icky enough that it's not functional

So anyway I'm very good at being normal and not weird all the time and I hope I get a good grade on being a person

[6okuto]

— husband!cove hcs

note from nia: kinda short but the wedding dlc was very good and i am very sad

waking up and he says "good morning, spouse" with a grin on his face

he gets very excited and giddy introducing you to new people as his spouse now. the same thing happens when you introduce him as yours, everybody watches his face light up and they think it's super sweet

if you chose any of the options that didn't keep both of your last names, the first few times he gets to write or type out your new names he can't help but smile a little. tbh even if you did keep both of your respective last names he'd still grin because he'd remember you're married

as soon as you get your wedding photos back he's sprinting to tell you so you can look at them together. he loves all of them but he picks out his favourites that he knows he wants on your wall

he tells his fish about your wedding . like unironically will tell your fish that you're married. i'm sure they're very excited

he plays with his wedding band when he's anxious. he plays with yours when you're around and he's anxious

if you wrote your vows down somewhere he'd ask to see the script. he is kicking his feet giggling and crying a little. makes sure they're kept somewhere safe

taking a photo with cove while you're in your wedding outfits to make your phone backgrounds i hope i perish

whenever a song that you had at your wedding plays he looks over at you with a knowing grin. depending on where you are he'll playfully ask if you'd like to dance

would visit the bakery you guys went to for your cake so he could finally get a look at all the things he stopped himself from running to. may or may not ask for the flavours you picked for your wedding just so he can experience it again

you know when little kids say things without a filter. like all the time. i'm imagining a kid seeing you together and being like "are you two Dating? is that guy your Boyfriend?" and he blinks before going "actually i'm their Husband" and grins in success when the kid goes "WOAH"

whenever someone congratulates him on the wedding it makes his Entire day and makes sure they know that he's the lucky one. and good luck to anyone who asks anything else because he will unapologetically go into how everything went and how much he loves you and why and

on anniversaries of your wedding (they slow down from like,, weekly to monthly) he makes sure to remind you and do something special, whether its breakfast in bed or a date or whatever else

sometimes it hits him all over again that you're married and you want to be with him the rest of your life the same way he wants to be with you. he comes up to you with tears in his eyes before hugging you even though it's a random tuesday evening . when you ask what's wrong you get a muffled sob and "i love you so much" into your shirt

Basically Literally Canon but anytime somebody teases him about being completely in love with you he flushes but when he looks over all he can do is smile. because yeah he is, why wouldn't he be when you're so incredible?

[lemon-boy-stan]

skz as your siblings (headcanon)

BANG CHAN -

he's definetly your older brother

by a few years; maybe five???

so he's very protective of you

he may be strict sometimes, but he's also fun

he's more of a father figure too, since your dad is always busy with work

like, the first time riding a bike, catching waves??? that was all chris by your side

if he can't be with you, he's worrying about you constantly

he checks up on you 24/7

sometimes it can get annoying but at least he makes you feel safe

he lets you sleep with him when you have nightmares or when you're feeling anxious

like, sometimes you'd crawl into his bed late at night and in the morning he'd see you with tear-strained cheeks

he'd sigh and wipe them away and hold you close like nothing ever mattered

you make him so soft

he's the best

LEE MINHO -

he's the most annoying older brother to ever exist

if there's a word for immature and strict, it's lee know

like, he's so much fun

he'd bring you to the milk bar and drive you anywhere you want to go, no questions asked

but so fucking annoying

he'd police you so fucking much

he's so protective too

he's definetly the type to tell you off for partying too late

and he'd probably give your boyfriend the scary older brother talk

he'd help you with homework but lecture you about it

but he's also really sweet

and funny

he makes you laugh so much

but most of the time, he sucks :(

SEO CHANGBIN -

he's also older than you

but he acts like he's younger for some reason??

like, sometimes he's so energetic he could chase you around the house screaming fits of laughter

although he does like to tickle you a lot

when you get a scratch, he's the best at putting band-aids on. like, you won't let your parents or the nurse at school do it for you

changbin has to be the one who puts it on

also, he will not hesitate to beat up anyone who's mean to you

boyfriend cheating on you? changbin will make sure he'll never think of cheating ever again

someone's bullying you at school? changbin's the one who'll teach them a lesson

he may be short, but he's scary to anyone who picks on his little y/n

he can be scary, ok???? 👉👈

HAN JISUNG -

he's such an annoying little shit

once, when you were kids, he bit your shoulder

jisung is literally the biting type

he'd prank you so much

he's such an insufferable asshole

he's so hype, too

like, he can run around the house for hours and not get tired???

once, your parents asked you to babysit him

it was literal hell

also, he never lets you win in mario kart, ever.

you'd think because you were older he'd have some respect

"respect" isn't a word where he comes from

he won't hesitate to put gum in your hair if you annoy him

gum is just the tip of the iceberg

he can be super nasty

watch out

KIM SEUNGMIN -

ok, so seungmin is either your older brother or your twin brother, i can't decide so you guys can choose

either way, he's very annoying

ok, scratch the twin brother headcanon

he's your mum's boyfriend's son

so he's very reserved and keeps to himself

he's so quiet too

he reads a lot

you didn't know much about him so you didn't really like him at all that much

until he saw you crying

he's the biggest comforter

and so sweet, too

he'd know exactly how to make you feel better

and suddenly you were so close he's the only person you'd talk to

you'd follow him around everywhere and he wouldn't mind it one bit

he's so sweet

HWANG HYUNJIN -

he's such a piece of shit it's not funny

he's such a handful too, as a son and a younger brother

like you can physically see your mum getting annoyed with him

hyunjin just has so much energy

but you're the only person he'll listen to

like, when your mum is talking to someone he keeps tugging her sleeve and saying stuff like, "mummy, mummy, i'm hungry, i'm hungry,"

she'd try to pretend he wasn't there but he'd keep going on and on

"hyunjin, sweetheart, joo won's mum and i are talking, just wait a while, okay?"

"hyunjin, come here, come play with me and your friends,"

your mum owes you so much for all the times you've saved her ass

LEE FELIX -

ok, so felix is your twin brother

you guys do everything together

literally everything

he's very protective of you but also gives you your own space now and then

you guys make the best food together

the first few times, there's flour all over the kitchen

but i'm positive both of you could go to master chef and win

also, all your friends have a crush on him and all his friends have a crush on you??? lol

aussie stays: felix plays futsal and you do gymnastics because it just fits???

also, when people invite you to parties, they just send one invitation because they know they can't have one without the other.

YANG JEONGIN -

jeongin is an annoying ass mf

he's kind of like hyunjin

but he never grew out of it

so i guess he's worse

don't get me wrong, he's a very talented child

he's the jungkook of the yang family

as in, his first word wasn't a word, it was a sentence. he learnt how to walk in three days. soon he was running.

also, i have a feeling that jeongin has really neat handwriting

he also likes to draw a lot

he'd draw on the walls if he was allowed to

you know how chan has that pop-it in the family role-play? well, that's jeongin, but with slime

he's a really messy kid

he'd also manipulate you a lot?

you were kind of stupid, tbh

like, he'd get you to do something and then your parents would find out and blame it on you?

asshole

three words to describe sibling!jeongin: hyper, annoying, messy.

SKZ MASTERLIST // BTS MASTERLIST // TXT MASTERLIST

[egglygreg]

Big ol' rambly journal entry incoming

I am very tired and out of it today, but I'm very grateful to God for yesterday. I managed to call a power company and set up electricity and internet for the new house, which is something I would have been too overwhelmingly terrified to do a year or two ago.

Mum helped me take all my shoes (apart from my favourite boots) and I put them on my new shoe rack in the new house, and we did a little grocery shopping, AND I helped take care of my grandmother and cook her tea since she's bedbound for the moment after her foot surgery.

Could only have done it with His help, because normally any one of those things would have tanked me immediately. And I know He's orchestrated it so that we have loads of time to move, when most people have to do it all in a day (which with my cfs would have been WAY too much).

Plus the fact that we were offered two houses the same day out of the blue, only 2 weeks ago, one either side of mum's good friend's place in town and very close to shops, when we weren't even actively looking for a house anymore! We'd given up last year and decided to stay put where we were (mum lives in a tiny A frame and I live with gran).

And THEN the owner of the one we picked hasn't upped the rent and kept it low and only charged us a very low bond. She's happy for the house to be in my name even though I have no rental history, and happy for us to have pets.

Earlier in the week I bought an old wooden school teacher's desk, a fairly fancy bureau desk, a shoe rack, a clothes rack and a gold floor lamp from the local op shop, and the man was super kind to me and sold them all to me for 70 Aus$ and they delivered them to the house for free (and he just let me have this cute little gold candleholder for free).

Lots of people have offered to help me and mum move. Mum's friend and lots of other people we know are super excited for us to be in the new house. We're planning on having a The Chosen based watch party and bible study once we're settled, and we'll definitely have an open door for visitors.

This will be my first house, the first that is officially mine. Mum's happily deferring to me in all decisions and reassures me that it's my home. I'm still anxious about so many things, but I'm really trying to let go of that (some of it is probably just physical because of the chronic fatigue, overdoing it can cause anxiety symptoms and make sleep quailty worse). I trust God, or at least I want to trust Him, and ask that He helps my unbelief, because I know full well that He is in this entire thing.

The last month or two we've been having prayer meetings and bible study, and I know God is using that and I believe our move is part of a bigger shifting in our community. Mum, our family friend and soon to be neighbour and I are all pretty involved with a lot of ice affected families and teens, and mum has been working in their lives for years and praying for them but hasn't seen a lot of change, but I get the sense that things are shifting. And I think us being central in town might make us a bit of a hub and a safe refuge. God's definitely at work!

Also we had a near immediate answer to prayer last night, when mum's chronically ill friend rang us distraught to tell us her elderly pocket chihuahua Spunky escaped the yard while she and her partner were away for the day for his cancer treatment.

Spunky literally weighs less than 2kg and is the tiniest little dog you've ever seen, and is blind, so we were all fearing the worst. They live next to a main road and it had been pouring with rain. Mum and I prayed, and literally 4 minutes later my cousin sent me a photo someone had posted in a closed local fb group saying that they'd picked up a soggy little old dog wandering near the road! We sent the woman a message with his owner's number and he got home safe.

I'm still sad about my bun Alfie passing from myxi virus, but he and Leesie are together again and he was very depressed after she passed. I tried to comfort him but he was so attached to her, and with the costs of moving and the exhaustion I couldn't have afforded another bunny friend for him. I also know he wouldn't have coped well with the change of moving. The vets were very kind to me, and put a little rose in his carrier when we brought him home to bury him.

I don't really know how to end off this long rambling journal entry of mine, but whether through hardship or blessing God is good and I love Him. I guess I just wanted to write down what's been happening lately and take a moment to get my head around it!

I've spent a good 85% of the last 5 years just having to rest and wait and I guess learn patience. It's been frustrating and sad and difficult a lot of the time, but I know that I've learned a huge amount from it. I still have chronic fatigue syndrome for the moment, and maybe I will continue to be unwell, but it does feel like a certain chapter of my life is over and a different one is beginning. Quite frankly I have very little idea of where my life is heading, but I know God is good and that He is in control so I don't have to be afraid.