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babylizzz · 8 months ago

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Posting bits of my recent reality to my personal blog because I need to process and vent, and I'm too broke to afford a therapist. Read or dismiss as you wish. Share advice if you please, but not judgement. Namaste 🙏🏻

November 24, 2023

I left my husband a little more than a month ago. So far, most people have respected my privacy and not asked what happened. But as the holidays approach, it’s becoming harder to avoid disclosing our separation, and I know people will ask why I left Adam. The answer can be simple – I was unhappy. I was sick of feeling so awful in my situation, and I realized I deserve to be happy. But simply saying I was unhappy sounds like I just wasn’t putting in the effort to connect with my husband. It sounds like I gave up and didn’t care to try. We have children, for goodness’ sake! Couldn’t I have stuck it out and tried to make things work for them? Oh, but I did. I fought for years, telling my husband verbatim what I needed to feel loved, begging for him to be an active and supportive partner. Sometimes it got better for a few days. We wouldn’t fight. He’d be helpful and loving. There would be physical intimacy. But I was always quickly reminded that the peace was too good to be true.

What exactly did my husband do that was so horrible? Was he just lazy and unhelpful? Well, I could tell you the worst things he ever did to me. Like how I once noticed he was jumpy while on his phone and always angling his screen away or closing all his apps when I entered the room. It wasn’t difficult for me to find out that he was entertaining another woman on Snapchat. I confronted him in the middle of the night. He swears it was never flirty or sexual. He only talked to her about life. He enjoyed that someone cared to ask about his day and showed an interest in conversation with him. As if I didn’t try to engage him between doing all of the childrearing and housekeeping by myself… I’ll never know if he was telling the truth about that, though. After all, people use Snapchat when they don’t want there to be evidence, right?

There was also the time he lied about cancer to get out of an argument. I don’t even know what we were arguing about – probably housework. But he apologized and told me he’d just had a lot on his mind. When I pressed, wanting to know more so I could be there for him, he told me his doctor thought he might have testicular cancer, which I knew runs in his family. He said he was supposed to go in for scans to confirm, but that he didn’t want to talk about it because he was too upset. I respected that boundary and didn’t bring it up for a while, just trying to love him and be there for him in other ways as best I could. Probably 2-3 months later, it was eating at me that Adam hadn’t confided in me regarding the results, so I asked about it. He didn’t know what I was talking about. I reminded him of our previous conversation, and so casually, as if it were nothing, he said, “Oh yeah, I just made that up so you’d stop bitching at me. I don’t have cancer.” This man had me fearing for his life and our future, and it was just a sick lie. That was only about 18 months into our relationship. I should have gotten out then.

There was also a time very recently – I know because our children were toddlers. I got home from work, and Adam immediately put on a show for them and beckoned me into the bedroom. He ordered me to strip and fully expose myself on the bed. I thought it not an appropriate time for relations, but the kids were occupied and I was afraid to anger him, so I let it continue. After I spread myself, Adam opened his phone and held it up to me. I covered my face and tried to get up, telling him not to take pictures of me like that, but he ordered me down. He kept looking back and forth from his phone to my body. Finally, I asked what the heck he was doing, and he showed me a faceless nude he had stumbled upon on the internet. The woman’s body looked just like mine, the same skin tone, stretch marks, and curves. I would have believed it was me, but I’d never taken a photo quite like that. I was enraged. How dare he force me on the bed, order me to expose myself, and question my faithfulness and decency! What ever happened to just asking a question and trusting your spouse? I told him how fucked up that was of him, that I was molested as a child by an older boy who forced me to do those same things. Adam apologized that I’d been through that, but he justified his actions because he “just had to be sure” that I hadn’t been sharing my body online for strangers.

All of those things, though, were easy to forgive for a while. I mean, I did excuse them for years until now, as messed up as that may sound. But none of those things hurt as much as the things he did regularly, weekly, daily.

Over the entire length of our 9-year relationship, Adam was abnormally jealous. He would accuse me out of the blue of cheating on him. When I got pregnant with our son, after the initial excitement, he questioned who the father was. We had stopped trying to conceive, but I guess that last try stuck. But to Adam, he couldn’t make it make sense, as if he knew my cycle like the back of his hand and fully understood how conception happens. He was sure I must have had another partner after we had stopped trying to get pregnant. Even until now, Adam will randomly question who our son’s father is, sometimes jokingly, but sometimes very seriously.

When we adopted our daughter, he would lash out when her crying woke him up too many times at night or when she'd throw tantrums as a toddler. He would frequently say that he wish we'd never taken her, that he didn't want "this," that he felt like he was being punished for someone else's poor decision to conceive her. Once her adoption was final after 3 years, Adam would still share these sentiments, but he'd add the caveat, "I mean, I love her now but..." The way this broke my heart was irreparable. For a long time, I could forgive his transgressions toward me, but to reject our daughter was unforgivable.

A few years ago, I became work-friends with my only male coworker, a man who I explained reminded me so much of my brother because he is Asian, a chef, and so good to his woman just like my brother is to his wife. I would only ever talk about the cooking and foodie things I learned from this coworker, but the mere mention of his name was very triggering for Adam, and he would be mad at me for days. I had to stop talking about the things I learned about my favorite hobby just because they were taught to me by a man.

Adam was also very controlling. I think he only ever asked for proof of my whereabouts less than a handful of times, but I had begun to recognize the signs that he was going to accuse me of not being where I said I would be. Without prompting, I would be so nervous that I would take pictures of my surroundings and snap screenshots of the timestamp as proof of my timeline in the event I needed them when I got home. Even when I provided this evidence, Adam still would not believe that I was being completely truthful.

When I started gaining confidence in myself when I made friends who would hype me up, I also gained confidence in my sense of style. I wanted to try wearing crop tops with the slightest bit of midriff showing above the belly button. On at least two occasions, Adam made comments about my intentions and stated he didn’t want me going out of the house like that.

Adam also would not respect my “no” in the bedroom. Sometimes he just wouldn’t let it go. Other times he would try to guilt me into doing things I didn’t want to do. Sometimes I would oblige, and when I was less than enthusiastic, he would get upset and start a fight. Still other times, he would say, “I’ll just get it somewhere else.” He would ignore my emotional needs, stating that if I'd just meet his physical needs, maybe he's be a better husband and father. How could I get sexually close to him when I felt abandoned in every other area of our life together?

Adam was and is very quick to anger. He would pick random fights and blame them on me. He would ignore me for days and wouldn’t even tell me what I had done wrong. In most cases, I had done nothing wrong. He would say nothing was wrong, but his attitude and actions would say otherwise. He would shoot me hateful looks, scoff, and shake his head as if disgusted. Sometimes I would begin to consider whether I actually had done something wrong and would apologize. Other times I knew without a doubt that I had done nothing, and I would apologize anyway just so he would talk to me. Most times, I would just take the mistreatment and withholding of love until Adam grew tired of it. Most times, when it was convenient for him, usually when he wanted sex, the cold shoulder would be over, and he would start talking to me as if nothing happened. He never once apologized for these days-long cold shoulders.

It goes without saying that I was always walking on eggshells. Sometimes I would be ridiculously nervous to bring something up for fear of his emotional or verbal reaction.

Adam would use intimidation tactics during arguments. Any time he was mad, he would slam or even throw things. He would beat on the wall and block doors to prevent me from walking away from the argument, and once before we had children, to prevent me from leaving the house. Once during an argument that was not even our worst, Adam cornered me in my tiny closet-office. When it got heated, he punched a hole in the wall right next to my face to intimidate me. I think that if I’d cowered in that moment, the violence would have escalated that day and from that point on. But I didn’t cower. I was bold and angry and told him if he ever did anything like that again, I would take the kids and be gone before he could blink.

Sometimes during arguments, Adam would belittle me, saying, “Let me put it in a way that you can understand,” before proceeding to speak to me as if I were a child. He would gaslight me, discredit me, making me question my reality, whether the way I remembered things was actually how they had happened. He would say, “It’s not my fault you can’t take a joke,” and, “I’m sorry that’s how you perceive it.” He would insist that an event or conversation never happened. He would always tell me he remembers what I said or did better than I do, stating, “You’re clearly not remembering correctly.”

He would place blame on my past behaviors to excuse his current behaviors, stating that if I had acted differently, he wouldn’t be this way. He would withhold love when he was mad, even when he was at fault. This included not talking to me, hugging me, kissing me, and ignoring me when I told him I loved him. He would even refuse to sleep in the same bed, sometimes because he couldn’t stand to be around me and other times just to intentionally hurt my feelings. He would tell me that I was just being dramatic, sensitive, or hormonal, sometimes stating, “Maybe you really do need therapy.”

I’m sure there are other things I could rattle on about. There’s so much that I can’t keep track of it all. I would tell him when these things would hurt me. I would even use words like “controlling” and “manipulative.” It never meant anything to Adam. He rarely responded with remorse, love, or compassion. One night toward the end, I was fed up. I didn’t want to feel unwanted and unloved anymore. I told Adam I wanted a divorce. His response to that was the most sorry I’d ever seen him. After a few weeks, we started marriage counseling. I think things got a little better in the day-to-day, but when he got mad, he would go right back to his cruel habits.

A few months into counseling, on a Sunday, there was a women-only family thing I attended. The time had been moved to later, and no one had told me, so I was out while Adam was stuck at the house with the kids for longer than I had intended. Adam called me, telling me that this thing that was entirely out of my control was unacceptable. He demanded that I leave and come home immediately, but everyone had just gotten there, and I’d carpooled with my mom, and I wasn’t going to make her leave because of him. I became indignant and told him that he could handle a few hours doing the same thing that I do all day every day. He told me that becoming a stay-at-home mom after being laid off was what I had asked for and to stop whining about it. I told him that I really didn’t want to be yelled at and have this argument with him in front of my family, and I hung up. We didn’t speak of it when I got home.

The next morning, Adam called me into the bathroom while he was getting ready. I had cleaned off the bathroom counter that weekend and thrown away 3 or 4 empty deodorants. I guess one wasn’t empty as I had thought. That morning, Adam screamed at me about deodorant, calling me a liar, insisting that the two blue deodorants I was speaking of never existed, and repeatedly asked why I would lie about it. All I had done was try to help clean up his side of the sink. I even apologized for mistaking the good deodorant for an empty one and accidentally throwing it away. But he was so fixated on the blue deodorant, how he never buys blue deodorant, when I was sure the details of those two blue containers would be my saving grace and make him realize that I really was telling the truth. Why else would I remember those details? But it didn’t matter. He was always right, and I was always lying. I walked away from the argument when our 3-year-old son came in and said, “Guys, guys, it’s okay. Just calm down.”

I realized then that things would never change. No amount of marriage counseling could fix what was broken. His irrational, angry episodes that got out of hand were becoming more frequent and more severe, and I was unwilling to see how far they would go.

In 4 hours, I packed everything the kids and I would need for at least a month, and we left for my parents’ house.

Part of me doesn’t want to blame Adam. He didn’t understand the magnitude of the damage he was doing to my psyche. But the rest of me remembers how many times I told him he was hurting me, that I didn’t want to be with him the way he was, that I didn’t want that for our children. That should have been enough for him to want to change. I shouldn’t have had to threaten divorce, to leave, to give him the exact terminology for gaslighting and psychological abuse. You don’t do these things to the people you love, and you sure as hell listen to them when they are crying for help.

I know our friends and loved ones will see me moving forward quickly and think I must have been cheating on him. I must not have loved him. I must not have cared about our family and our marriage. But I did. I fought for our marriage for years while the man who was supposed to be my partner ignored me. And when I couldn’t fight for our marriage anymore, I fought for survival, to keep our home together so our kids could at least have both parents around, even if they didn’t have the healthiest relationship. But I deserve better than that, and so do our children.

I am not unaffected by this. It was the worst feeling in the world breaking heart of the man I considered my best friend for 9 years, watching him crumble in front of me. It was incredibly difficult to maintain my resolve in the weeks that followed as he begged me for another chance. And it’s freaking terrifying not knowing what our future will hold as a result of my decision.

I will continue to mourn the loss of my marriage – all of the hard work, love, blood, sweat, and tears that went into trying to make it work. I will mourn the loss of the strong family unit I thought my children would grow up with. I will mourn the loss of the plans we had made for the future, the life we wanted to build. But what I want my family to understand is that I have been unhappy for years. I struggled for years with the realization that I knew had to leave. It just took me a long time to finally be ready. So if it looks like I’m moving on too quickly or seem okay with this all, it’s because I began mourning the loss of life as I knew it years ago. I have been broken for too long. Now it’s time for me to heal and be happy.

#rant post #personal post #divorce #separation #psychological abuse #emotional abuse #narcissistic abuse #gaslighting #manipulation #toxic relationship

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taikk0 · 2 years ago

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im crying ive been lurking your blog today after being curious enough to check your tumblr after constant watching of your videos on youtube and always thought how professional and clean your animations look and thought you were like oh idk 20+

then i stumble a post of you saying you're 15 and i 😭 💗 WHAT DO YOU USE TO ANIMATE PLEASE ANY TIPS FOR LIL OL 19 YR OLD THATS CURRENTLY NOT GOING TO COLLEGE BECAUSE OF WORK AND WANTING TO PRACTICE MY CRAFT BEFORE GOING AT IT *kneels and slowly merges with floor like melted plastic*

THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE I'VE MET WHO THOUGHT I WAS 20 IS SO FUNNY IM SORRY IM FR JUST BLENDING IN WITH ALL THESE TAX-PAYING CITIZENS LIKE IM OUT HERE IN A BUSINESS SUIT GOING "HOW DO YOU DO FELLOW ADULTS" AT THIS POINT

but fr tho I'm flattered I can't believe someone would assume I'm at that level already 5 years in advance thank you 😭😭

as for what I use to animate I use Krita!! here is a tutorial I used to learn how to set it up + how Krita's animation feature worked:

youtube

Though this tutorial covers a lot of useful information and an animation tutorial, I do urge you to learn about the software itself in your own time. (VERY IMPORTANT TIP: if you don't understand how something works, or if you want to do something in the program but have no idea how regarding the tools it has to offer, it doesn't hurt to do your own research! I learned that the hard way unfortunately, and I hope other artists don't suffer the same fate. REMEMBER! DON'T BE AFRAID TO GOOGLE!)

and with animation tips I do have a few things I'd be happy to share

I made this playlist to help my boyfriend get into animation. What's special about this playlist is that I made it not just about how to make individual drawings move, but also videos that explain how and why individual design philosophies and decisions are made and how you can learn to use them to your advantage. I also added some videos in here that cover shot composition and storyboarding, since I figured that most animators strive for skill in more than one field. This playlist is still a work in progress and I'm obviously bound to add more in the future, but just know that most of the videos put on here are either videos that I think are REALLY helpful as an animator who wishes they had that kind of help in their beginner years, or videos that DID help me in my beginner years way back when.

The playlist is a bit short but quality over quantity amirite? Next up is a playlist that helped spark my love for animation and pushed me to pursue it myself: the Skribble Kibble series!

Not everything in this playlist is an animation tutorial, but I highly recommend it for someone with an untrained eye. This series has inspired me not only because it covered animation; a medium that I was already interested in, but also awakened my love for analysis when it came to visual mediums. what it does great, what it does poorly, what makes something unique, and what makes something the way that it is, and explaining WHY.

Animation Tip : Learn to observe! not just in life, but in other animated media as well. ask yourself questions, and break things down. try it out yourself and experiment! heck, go frame by frame if you have to! learn to learn!

which brings me to my next source: FramebyFrame

This account has been AMAZING. It's informative and presents visual guides. It's a great place to start when you want to train yourself to analyze animation in the moment. I always think of it as some sort of game, They always play the animation first before they show the breakdown, try to spot as many cool animation tricks as you can, and see how many are mentioned! They also recently did a breakdown on RotTMNT which I find to be super neat :]

Mikyomix's Personal Animator Tips (Great or Unhelpful? You Decide!):

wanted to make this it's own section because I had no idea how to properly fit this all in so it goes in here

Study first! I know this sounds super lame but I promise you it will save you so much suffering. It's better to already have a grasp on animation and its fundamentals before you actually start animating. I've gone into the pitfall of having really crap animation skills, feeling bad over it not looking right, going into a pit spiral of self-doubt, while simultaneously not putting in the effort to learn why it didn't look right and how to fix it. It took me a good while to sit down and actually learn everything before I officially started and had more confidence in myself to fix my mistakes and learn from past projects. I already mentioned it earlier, but again, don't be afraid to take notes and whatever information you find to be useful!

Pick your animated projects wisely! Listen, I know it's tempting to do that music video you always dreamed about with your not-so-simply-designed OC. But personally, I advise steering away from large-scale projects and animations that require more than your current skill level if you're a beginner. I know it sounds harsh, and I'm not telling you to give up on your dreams or anything, but just know that animations like that might be more than you bargained for, and could result in burnout and a final product you might not be proud of. You could easily tire yourself out if you're a beginner learning as you go, and I understand that many people actually advise it for the learning experience, but in my personal experience, it didn't really end well. LOTS of unfinished projects, time sunken in on something that I no longer wanted to finish, bad memories associated with the project, etc. Of course, everyone is different and you might not experience the same things I did, but just be aware of the cons. Instead, I highly recommend you-

-Design and create at your own personal convenience! If you're a beginner, I advise you to go simple. I know not everyone is interested in the bouncing ball or the flour sack, but there's no rulebook that says you're prohibited from designing a simple character to animate! Not everyone starts out the same way, and that's completely valid, I first started animating my furry OC's and I'm sure other young animators started in a similar way, animating the things they want! though there was one thing that I did keep in mind, and that was I designed my OC's to be easy to draw over and over again. easier for me to animate, and easier for me to draw them consistently. So if you're first starting out, don't be afraid to simplify! remove minute details if you have to. You can figure it out later no pressure! Just animate things because you want to, not because you have to. and that includes the tiny details that would be difficult to keep track of as a beginner. This is a bit of a smaller point that didn't need its own thing, but while you're at it, learn effective character design! not just for aesthetics and narrative purpose, but also for functionality.

Remember that you are not obligated to practice the old-fashioned way! Not everyone finds animation exercises fun, and that's okay. But whatever you choose to do, putting everything you learned into practice, IT STILL COUNTS AS PRACTICE. Every little animation you make counts no matter how short or unfinished it is, and your efforts deserve to be praised. why? because you're learning little by little and it is still very valuable! despite how small and minute or large and noticeable the improvement in animation quality is, you're still making strides in learning to be a better animator than you were before. Don't listen to what those old geezers say, you do you! animation is supposed to be a labor of love and passion. and being forced to do something under the obligation that its "industry standard" is frankly, baloney.

Animation Stuff (THE JUICE.): shorter stuff that also deserves their own section

12 FPS is great for beginners

Ease-in's and ease-out's are your BEST FRIEND

Timing Charts. you might not be inclined to write them properly, but it's useful if you're jotting things down. use them.

PLEASE. LOCK YOUR LAYERS WITH FINISHED ANIMATION WHEN YOU DON'T INTEND ON TOUCHING THEM FOR A WHILE AND YOU'RE WORKING ON A SEPARATE THING ON THE SAME PROJECT. I'VE LOST. SO MUCH...

Don't be afraid to mix tweeting with frame-by-frame. Sleepykinq tweening isn't the only form of tweening + tweening is great if you want to keep something consistent. Though if you want to go frame-by-frame with the convenience of tweening but without the visual integrity of tweening, tween on one layer as a guide and animate on top, so it's still frame-by-frame.

Unlimited layers? use them. Is a certain part of rough inbetweening giving you trouble? make another layer and animate it on there if you don't want to mess with the main roughs, then merge it down.

More frames does not equal smoother animation, it risks making it look slower. work with the FPS, not against it

Name your layers. save the tears.

Anyways, PHEW that was long. Sorry about that, I just have a lot to say about animation. I'm not NEARLY qualified enough to actually teach animation, nor am I linguistically intelligent enough to get the points I want across (I think). But I really hope that you and a few other people found this to be helpful.

I wish you the best of luck ^^

#i feel like my writing is slowly starting to improve omg #i like. genuinely think writing is fun but i dont think im competent enough FJDHFD #this was a post about animation why am i talking about writing in the tags #but uh YEAH #thats it ty for reading #animation #animation tips #animator #animators on tumblr #taikko asks #taikko talks 2 much

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polyadvice · 3 years ago

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I want to live in partnership with another couple, but my husband is unsure

My partner and i recently got married. We're really happy, but for the past half year I've caught feelings for two other friends. My husband feels the same way and these two friends are already in a relationship and poly. My husband has feelings but more platonic than my romantic feelings and doesn’t really wanna pursue anything. Every time i try to have a discussion about it he gets overwhelmed or jealous. But its like I just want them in queer platonic polycule?

I don't want to have sex or even kiss them but I want to go on dates and hold hands and live together and raise kids with them. My partner feels exactly the same way but he is still super hesitant. He was this hesitant when we started dating so idk what to do about my feelings. Am I a bad person for wanting to pursue this even though my spouse is lowkey jealous? And am I a bad spouse for even wanting another relationship while being just recently married? I don't want to weird my friends out but I don't like to just not tell people how I feel about them. It feels wrong somehow. And on another note, sorry for all the questions, if my partner and I did decide to pursue this kind of relationship, how do I even go about it?

The good news is that the arrangement you’re describing is as old as humanity itself, and in fact how most families have been raised over the course of history. The “nuclear family,” where only two adults live in a detached home and are expected to meet all of each other’s financial, developmental, emotional, physical, culinary, etc. needs - as well as those of any children - is a very recent concept.

You may be well served by letting go of the concept of a “queer platonic polycule” and exploring language for what you really want that doesn’t signify a necessary departure from the monogamous marriage your husband feels committed to protect. What you’ve described may be well represented by other concepts, including family friends, kinship networks, close neighbors, chosen family, or non-blood cousins. Raising kids together, spending quality time together, supporting each other, and “doing life together” might be less threatening ways to talk about this, at least for your husband.

Talk with your husband about what he wants, and what he does not want. Be specific, using examples and real-world concepts rather than conceptual terms. What is his best case scenario, and what is his worst case scenario? What is he afraid of happening? Can he describe where his jealousy is coming from? What do you mean by “go on dates?” What kind of quality time spent with these other people would feel like “too much” or “jealousy-inducing” for him?

Talk through actual situations. Would you two want to plan joint vacations with this couple? How would you handle things like joint finances or individual healthcare costs? What does “raise kids together” mean for you? Are there any examples from books, movies, or your own lives that you can draw inspiration from? Do you know any neighbors, extended families, religious congregations, or other people who can help serve as a model for this kind of life?

Once you’ve figured out what you actually want, you can bring that up with the other couple. Instead of asking “do you want to form a queer platonic polycule,” ask them “what are your thoughts on co-living with us?” or “would you like to go camping with us next weekend?” Worry less about what words to put on things, and focus on how you want to be in relationship. In some cases, you might not need to have a Big Serious Relationship Defining Conversation, and can instead simply start intentionally living into the type of connection you want. Finally, you ask whether you are a bad person for having these feelings and desires, and my answer to that question is a resounding: absolutely not! Our thoughts, feelings, and desires are entirely our own business and don’t have the power to make us a good or bad person. It’s how you act on them that matters. If you’re pressuring your husband into doing something that he doesn’t want, or you’re acting manipulative or otherwise disregarding his boundaries, then those are not great things to do, but I’d still caution you against equating “did an unhealthy or unhelpful thing” and “is a bad person.” You are you, and you contain multitudes, and you’ve hurt people and you’ve helped people, and you’re just a person. Try to let go of this notion that anything you think or do can make you “a bad person.”

Completely unrelated: One of my Buzzfeed quizzes made it to the front page, which makes it the best contender for Maybe Actually Making Me Some Money. If you like this blog and enjoy my advice, would you be so kind as to click this link or even share it around to help it gain some momentum? <3

#community #polyamory #platonic friendship #advice #intentionality

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inxtricabilis · 2 years ago

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TEN Q’S:

1. When are you usually online?

// My schedule is really volatile, and changes pretty much monthly, sometimes weekly. But I can usually count on having the evenings off, which is when I’m most active. I may log on to mobile throughout the day for short ooc posts, or to publish finished drafts though! I operate on CET/CEST.

2. What verses are you involved in outside of this page?

// I have a Fire Emblem blog on here with verses for its own canon and other titles in the franchise. The muses are from one of the older games because, frankly, I’m not caught up with a lot of the newer titles.

3. What is your biggest RP pet peeve?

// Okay, so not a world-shattering one, but definitely a peeve of mine: When asks get turned into threads, but on the same post as the ask. I jut find it immersion-breaking when the initial ask and response are constantly on the top of the interaction. That’s why I’m actually a little glad that people have been moving to answering asks with personalized banners. Firstly, yes it looks neat, but secondly it does avoid this issue altogether.

4. Are you drawn to specific types of muses?

// Well, especially as I was creating this blog, I noticed a lot of my muses tend to be the types who give their all in whatever they do. Real confident types who aren’t afraid to go out of their comfort zone and tackle any problem they have with vigor and with their hearts fully set on it. Maybe it’s a little bit wishful by me as I can be half-hearted at times, but I’ve definitely felt myself really adoring those types of muses. Like- Yes. You go and show the world what you are capable of!

5. Are there recurring themes in your writing that people might not notice?

// I think this blog is far too fresh to really have any great overarching themes that people can come to grasp from my writing. But if I had to shine a light on a theme I hope to tackle often it would be that of bonds and how they hold people together. Indeed, my url is a play on that. Whether it’s the bonds of family (biological or found), or that of your circumstances. They can be constricting, or they can make you one of the most powerful people out there.

6. What are your favorite RP trends?

// I like a lot of dash games. Especially ones that can kind of evolve into a bunch of other muses commenting on things. It’s silly and good fun and I like how it brings muses outside of that formal RP style and they can kind of just become two people just hanging out.

7. What is your process for starting a new story with someone?

// It varies. I have always had a habit of picking up muses from obscure fandoms, or just muses that aren’t as well known, so I try and be accommodating by being available to plot and ask and answer questions so we can get on the same page. On the other hand, sometimes we can just sorta go. Though this is definitely the exception, not the rule here.

8. How do you feel about duplicates?

// Yes please. I think everyone brings something unique to the table in their interpretations. It can be really fun seeing those differences mash up against each other. You have headcanons and different verses and different writing styles, so it’s genuinely never really the case of: Same muse, same experience. I think that’s just really neat.

9. How long have you been involved in roleplaying?

// If I’ve got it correctly in my mind, I must’ve started around 2010/2011, but I ought to mention that I recently returned from a five-year break from roleplaying. Thanks to university taking up all my time I had zero energy for creative writing and have only in recent weeks been able to decide for my return to this platform.

10. Is there a muse or verse you wish you could write in, but haven’t?

// That’s a difficult question to answer, seeing as I’ve yet to use a fair few of my muses at the time of writing this. The answer is “Yes”, but the list of what those are is a little too broad right now, to the point that it would just be unhelpful. I’d rather just continue to slowly build up interactions as they naturally come up!

~~~~

TAGGED BY: @more-than-a-princess (Thank you so much!! I love this sort of stuff!)

TAGGING: @aestuavis, @atimelesslullaby, @dcviated, @orderbourne, @pastballads, @quickdeaths (Hopefully you haven’t done this one yet! If you have, please forgive me.), and anyone else who wants to do it! Steal it and drop the @!!

#(( DASH GAMES - Side Stories ))#(( OOC - A Step Away ))

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paragonevil · 4 years ago

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I'm gonna be honest, as far as Aku, evil overlord dictator of an empire that's dedicated to wiping out most if not all of humanity, you write him too mushy. He's supposed to be a sociopath, from what we see in the show, but you have him being shipped with like, a dozen people. You write him waaayy too nice. That being said, I suppose if you didn't, you would have very limited interaction with people, and you've written out "development" for him, but the point still stands that he's way too roman

What do you think about my interpretation? | accepting!

ooc ★ Before I get onto my response, I’d like to thank you for having the audacity to send this. I feel there’s this unhelpful idea in the rpc that people have to agree with everything you post; and to say you disagree with someone’s interpretation is often met with ferocious resistance. But when I reblog memes of this nature asking for opinions, I want the good and the bad. I AM always looking to improve, and to not take criticism when I so freely dish it would be hypocritical of me, I guess. ( For lack of a better word, right off the top of my head. )

I COULD put this under a cut, but I feel this is important enough to just let it sit out in the open. It’s something I’ve been thinking about a while.

That said, two things for you.

Firstly, I LOVE writing violence! In fact, I’d go so far as to say it’s in my top two favorite things to write, right beside slow-burn romance ( and particularly one-sided yearning ). However, while I used to jump at every opportunity to write violence, I can admit I’ve since slowed down a bit. Not only because I’ve gotten progressively less and less people coming to Aku trying to pick a fight with him, but also because I’ve come to feel that fight threads without a purpose to further the plot are repetitive and somewhat boring. It tends to be a lot of the same-old same-old; repetitive actions, repetitive imagery. And yes, while this is a significant piece of his character in the show, and I love exploring it even further and particularly pushing the bounds of his abilities, if it doesn’t serve a purpose in the greater scheme of a plot or an arc then... Why waste your time with it? And frankly this goes for all repetitive actions, like gratuitous sex and slice-of-life. If it doesn’t serve a purpose to write, such as say to kill an important enemy or fight a significant battle or even to maim a loved one when he’s not himself and bring down the angst hammer, then? Why.

Secondly, despite not wanting to write violence just for the sake of violence... I can admit I want some conflict over here. But that’s just the thing. In Aku’s main verse he’s samurai-less. I did this simply because the NUMEROUS Jack blogs there used to be have since become inactive, and if my initial intention with Aku’s blog almost from the very start was for him to kill a Jack and switch over to my Bad End universe, I can’t very well have Aku always worried about a ghostly, intangible threat that he can’t confront. And of all the Jack’s on this hellsite, of which I’ve written with and followed more than a few along the way, I can only name ONE which is still active. ( And another which followed me today, on that note, but they don’t have a rules nor an about page, so. ) ...But that first Jack I mentioned, @sonxflight, we don’t really write anymore. Nowadays Dari’s been more focused on fluff / romance threads, and I’ve been more interested in developing Aku’s mental health. Aku isn’t gonna go out of his way to confront a Jack that he views as not being his problem. Dari’s Jack isn’t the one from my Aku’s universe. Dari and I just kinda tag each other in dash memes and comment on one another’s posts once in a while; and that’s about the extent I see action from a Jack nowadays.

I would LOVE some more conflict on this blog! But I’m not going out of my way to find it if it doesn’t particularly serve to further my current plot— which is Aku’s eventual ascension to Godhood at the end of this year. And that’s another thing, if Aku himself doesn’t stand to gain anything from talking to someone, inciting a conflict, or being a dick to somebody, he’s pretty much going to keep his distance. He finds most people to be a waste of his time; and this is nothing against other RPers whom I love seeing on dash! Because lord knows I’d love to push him to interact with folks. But if Aku himself looks down his nose at most people and finds them not only boring but also boorishly stupid, then there’s not much else for it. He sees others that come to him for money, freedom, and other boons in exchange for their services as nothing more than cattle; and frequently this is how his meetings with new people go. Meeting others out in the field is the best way to get a truly organic and not copy-and-pasted interaction out of him. And even then, there’s still numerous factors which would predicate how such an encounter might go.

Because there’s not too much conflict on this blog for now, I’ve decided to take greater liberties with exploring shipping and platonic relationships also. But for those of you who have followed me for a while, who have seen me mention on more than one occasion that slice-of-life threads aren’t really my schtick, I can understand why you might be a bit confused. Well, allow me to explain: the reason I’ve chosen to place greater emphasis on these kinds of relationships lately is to preclude a little RP / character bleed mishap which happened recently and which impacted my enjoyment when writing as him and even just simply being on this blog. And by ‘recently’ I mean slowly, over a period of the past several months.

Aku’s entire arc with Rick demonstrated to both of us that he’s in an incredibly bad kind of headspace in regards to healthy relationships on this blog. In his universe with Rick, basically all his ties are a result of his relationship with Rick. Bill ( wildgcd, whose blog has since been deleted ) and Ashi ( @tigersteeth ) are both inactive, and have been for months +. They’re the only ones with whom Aku has a healthy relationship that isn’t directly tied to Rick in that universe, and as a result he tends to rely quite heavily on Rick for his social needs. So when Rick left him too, Aku’s abandonment issues reared their head. Unhelpfully, mun has a problem with abandonment amongst a slew of emotional / psychological problems quite similar in nature to the one’s Aku suffers from— albeit with a fun little mortal twist. 🤗 So I knew I needed to take action so I could comfortably be on his blog in the inevitability that Stephanie goes on hiatus again. Which is why I’m trying to focus a bit more on building more platonic and romantic relationships besides the ones with Rick and co. that way Aku has more people with whom to spend his time when Rick is away.

Furthermore, now that Jack’s out of the picture regardless of verse, Aku’s allowed himself to focus more on making friendships and forming attachments just in general. One of the reasons he tended not to do such before is because he felt that Jack would kill whomever he felt close to in an effort to get to him. In fact, he even shouted at Rick for daring to mention that he and Jack could possibly work together to build a future which would be brighter and better for everyone; because he felt certain that Rick would wind up being targeted by Jack to get to Aku.

He’s started going to therapy, also, to address long-held mistaken beliefs in himself, too. Beliefs which interfered with the relationships he had tried to foster with others; it was enough to frustrate him, when he let himself acknowledge such, and he knew he needed to sit down and talk with someone professionally if he didn’t exactly have friends around per se with whom he could talk. Also, I personally believe he chose not to do such before, because his very existence was hinged on destroying Jack so he could conquer the universe in peace without meeting resistance. While he knew he was unhappy and knew furthermore that he had some problems that needed addressing— and had even made a thin attempt to talk about such with himself in show canon as you recall— ultimately his mental well-being took second banana to making sure Jack was DEAD.

The therapy, coupled with his own slow internal journey, some perspective which was afforded to him during Rick’s absence, and some 4th wall Discord conversations has lent him valuable insight on the way he functions—and how Nightmare works too. Who, in many ways is just himself but with unchecked mental delusions and mistaken beliefs that had grown unchecked. He saw what had happened to Nightmare mentally, and didn’t want such a fate for himself. Hence the therapy and greater, braver attempts to let himself be closer to others.

Finally in the case of Bill and Nightmare... both of them take place in different universes, of course. Universes which in themselves were split just after the break up between Aku and Rick. Aku is still thoroughly alone in those universes, because again. He doesn't have Rick and all the people who were brought into his life as a result of his relationship with him. He’s at that point in his immortal life where he’d like to try his courage and test out the things he’d discovered about himself in therapy and in his personal self-explorations, and see about developing a relationship with someone with a fresh perspective with his recent failure as Rick’s partner in mind. Which is why he’s so amicable with them and trying to get to know them better. He wants to see what a healthy relationship, platonic or otherwise, developed on his own might be like.

However. I WILL acknowledge that Aku trying to make friends with people is ooc. It’s ALSO ooc for Aku to try fucking / romancing someone. There, I said it.

But you know why that is? It’s because that facet of his character was never explored in canon, even in all the comics, games, and the addition of the 5th season in 2017. So I suppose you could say that if I were to play him absolutely true to his canon material he’d only ever be a fucking mauling, mutilating, destroying, force of nature. Which yes, he still is despite my writing him how I do with a greater emphasis here lately on developing relationships with other characters. I ask you: isn’t the whole point of RP to develop dynamics and explore facets of a character that canon neglected? I could do fight threads all day, boy; but please ask yourself: how much would that really serve to further my interpretation and understanding of him, if at that point I’m just rehashing canon fights with a fresh coat of paint and different enemies? Whereas platonic and romantic relationships are a thoroughly headcanon and character-development heavy area for a character like Aku, who hasn’t had a single friendship or romantic relationship in his canon media.

And if you’d like cliff notes, rp examples of him being fucking EVIL, and links to evil headcanons I have you’re more than welcome to send a second ask asking for said information. But I think I’ve already given you plenty to think about and read, unless you’re some kind of masochist and want to torture yourself more with reading my self-absorbed and self-assured opinion. Thanks for making it this far, here’s your consolation prize.

TL;DR: Canon already gives me fights for days, boy. And while I thoroughly enjoy writing fight threads, they tend to be repetitive and exhausting if they’re not serving a purpose in a plot arc. Whereas things like interpersonal relationships for a character like Aku, who did not see such development in his canon media, is full of things to explore. And ultimately that’s what RP is about, exploring facets of a character which canon doesn’t explore for you. Once again, thank you for asking, and I hope this answers your question. I can provide examples for everything cited above, as well as fight threads and evil moments abound if you’d like. Furthermore, if there’s anything I do in RP which confuses you or which you feel is ooc, I invite you to jump in my askbox again with further questions. I’d be happy to explain my reasoning for ANYTHING I write!

P.S. I INVITE you to form your own opinions and compare me to my duplicates, 90-100% of whom are inactive. <:) Here they are, for your browsing convenience: @unspeakablyevil @akunoakuma @onibred @aku-blogs @shogundad Take a gander, consider what I just told you, and then see if you can hit me with this same anon again, yes? 😏💕

#◜♚◞#cobalt's talking shit #◜testimony◞#anonymous #long post

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yasuda-yoshiya · 4 years ago

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Hello, it's the anon that asked you on the most recent times. I am not sure about your response that the ask had been deleted might come from me, but after visiting your blog and saw that you deleted an ask (times are tough and I have difficulty getting online), I feel like I have to apologize for bringing such a topic in relation to privileges at such a bad timing. I had no idea about what is going on in USA (living on another country) but I hope BLM receives the support they need.

Oh no, it’s not remotely a problem at all, please don’t worry about it! I really appreciated your ask and the feeling behind it and it did get me thinking constructively about a bunch of things, I just felt that my response could have been read in a really bad way at the particular time I ended up posting it. But I’ve been feeling a lot of weird conflicted things lately about having repressed and avoided addressing genuinely serious personal issues on the basis that other people have bigger problems than me, and it’s definitely come to me more clearly over the past few months that, at least for me, it was a toxic and unhelpful mindset that didn’t actually do anything to help other people and was just hurting myself unnecessarily. I feel a very strong aversion to the idea of “putting myself first” for various personal reasons, but I’ve basically come to realise that there are times when I really do need to help myself first to be able to effectively help others and it’s not wrong or selfish to acknowledge that, in a general sense (and absolutely not in a “feel free to use this sentiment as an excuse to disengage from the current political situation and avoid having to have difficult conversations around privilege and confronting your personal responsibility and accountability in racism” sense, which was how I worried that my post might have been read at the time).

Really though, thank you for getting in touch, and for taking the time to offer your support on my personal stuff. I’ve been going through a lot of difficult things and I’m still honestly in a kind of crisis mode where I don’t feel able to put thoughts together coherently, so I’m mostly taking a break from being public on the internet for the time being. Maybe I will feel more able to talk about things once I can get into a more stable mental state. But I am glad to hear from you and it’s very kind of you to be concerned for me! I hope you’re coping okay in these difficult times too.

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overthinkingkdrama · 5 years ago

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I stumbled on a post of yours listing your favorite kdrama melos and I hadn't realized until that moment that my fav kdramas (the smiles has left your eyes, just between lovere, secret love affair my ahjusshi etc) would all be classified together as distinct from other kdramas. I'm wondering what your thoughts are about Korean melodrama as a genre that is separate and distinct from not only other kdramas but also Western melodrama.

I apologize for how long it took me to post this response. This is a really great ask, touching on one of my favorite narrative subjects, and it required a bit of mulling before I could formulate an answer.

Melodrama as a genre umbrella is broad enough to include many different types of stories beneath its label. Sometimes the term "melodrama" is used specifically to differentiate from a "romcom", or to indicate that a drama (sometimes, but not always) will steer toward a tragic rather than happy ending. Sometimes it merely means that the subject matter is going to be "heavy" and "angsty" rather than "light and fluffy". The definition of the word in English typically connotes a story that includes sensational or exaggerated characters and themes, designed to appeal to emotion. In fact, if you start trying to parse what we mean when we describe something as a "melo" it might seem so general as to be unhelpful, but I believe we can narrow it down a little more.

The term "makjang" also very often gets applied to Kdramas, sometimes interchangeably with the word melodrama or as a sort of intensifier for melodrama, which is how I frequently use it. Although I would suggest that the way we use the word in the English-speaking fandom is somewhat different from its actual connotations in Korean. If you’re interested in specifics about what that term actually means and where it comes from this is a good blog post. And I think I’ve seen a couple other good definitions floating around if you do some googling.

If you’re more familiar with American television or fairly new to Kdramas, you might compare a makjang drama to a daytime soap opera. All the secrets and betrayals and star-crossed lovers you would associate with melodramas in general, but turned all the way up to 11. The most extreme end of the meo spectrum, verging on absurdity. This is generally what the uninitiated think all Kdramas are like. I frequently have people who don’t know much about the subject refer to Kdramas as “Korean soap operas”. I dislike this characterization because a) it ignorantly and rather Eurocentrically paints all Korean television with the same broad brush, when anybody with more than a passing familiarity knows that Korean television is just as varied in quality and content as any other country’s and b) the term “soap opera” has such a specific, culturally defined, low-rent connotation that I would have a hard time applying it meaningfully to non-Western television.

Not all melodramas are makjangs. Although all makjangs will be some variety of melodrama.

Rather than overwrought, exaggerated or sensational I prefer to use the word "heightened" to describe the subjects of a melo, since the word does not imply a value judgement and I think gestures at the central element of all story—but especially melos—that makes them so appealing in the first place. The emotions are “heightened”, the personalities are “heightened”, the actions are “heightened”. Everything is just a little bigger, a little sharper, a little louder than normal. They have deeper, more broad-reaching implications. They have greater scope and thematic resonance than what we generally experience in everyday life.

Even dramas that deal with fairly quotidian subjects (such as college, family relationships, workplace stress) can either have a more grounded/realistic bent, or a more melodramatic bent. Although I would argue that story because it seeks impose order and meaning on otherwise random or meaningless events through the magic of narrative structure will, by its very nature, necessitate certain type of melodrama. That is the quality of “heightened”-ness. Without it, we don’t really have stories at all. So, in that way this is very much a continuum, and not a set of discreet genre categories

As for the second part of your question, how Korean melodrama is distinct from the Western melodrama…I may not be entirely qualified to answer it, as my perspective is that of a Western viewer who is trying to define and categorize things as a non-native speaker with a distinctly Western literary critical background. However, I will attempt to give you my best answer based on the many dozens of dramas I’ve now seen and my own readings about Korean culture.

Because the single run mini-series with an average of 16-20 episodes is currently the currency of the realm, a lot of Korean television focuses on delivering a compact story with a limited cast of characters and bringing a single story arc to a conclusion. Which is different from most American network television which basically tries to stretch out endless seasons of a show whether the story actually calls for it or not. In the West this is changing because of streaming services, which make prestige television shows more and more desirable and common, resulting in more complete stories in limited runs. And it’s also changing in Korea which has been increasingly experimenting with preproduced, longer run and multi-season dramas. (This is of course a limited view of Korean television, which also has its share of long run weekly dramas or weekenders which have a different structure altogether, but I don’t know much about those so I won’t speak to them.) We’ll have to wait and see what style of television grows and thrives in the coming years.

While Korea has indisputably experienced an Americanization of its media in the past decades, there are certain things that are unshakably culturally construed, which appear in dramas again and again up to the present day. A lot of this peculiarly Korean sensibility I think can be tied to a few factors: the influence of Confucianism, the division of North and South, the country’s history of colonization, and a uniquely Korean relationship with emotionality typified by the concepts of han and heung.

I don’t want to wade too far into waters that are too deep for my shallow understanding, but a lot of the “fodder” so to speak of Korean melodrama comes from the specific history of the peninsula. The heavy emphasis on familial (especially parent/child) relationships and the specific way in which they are handle in Korean dramas requires a basic crash course in Confucianism to grasp. The concept of “filial piety” and different types of generational guilt or generational trauma might seem alien to a Westerner. Especially a Westerner from as young a country as the United States.

Because of the concept of “filial piety” and a strong emphasis on family background and blood ties, the recurrence of plots points like birth secrets, family registry falsification, the mistreatment of orphans, adopted children or the children of criminals/murders is much more frequent in Korean melodramas than Western television and treated with different weight within in the culture, and I find this can sometimes be off-putting or confusing if you don’t understand where some of these hang-ups come from. It’s also important to remember that South Korea is a relatively young Constitutional Republic with an extremely recent and troubled political past. More recent than the Japanese Occupation which left so many scars on the collective cultural consciousness, more recent even than the Korean War and the division of North and South Korea. Also, it doesn’t hurt to recognize that, while social stratification is an issue everywhere and that there is no culture in the world that doesn’t have some kind of class system, strongly Confucianism influenced societies have engrained into their history a type of caste system that many Western viewers are completely unfamiliar with.

I’m not saying that you have to be immersed in Korean culture or history to understand and enjoy dramas, but it certainly helps to understand some of the nuances or even troubling elements that you will detect while watching. And it might be a good attitude to adopt, that if you find something off-putting or weird in a character’s reaction or the behavior of a particular group of people in a drama, to ask yourself if there is some kind of shared cultural context that you might be missing to explain the difference. A lot of what I’ve learned about Korean history and culture over the past few years has come from detecting such differences or such intellectual discomfort and doing my own research to find out why these things are coming up again and again.

Moving away from structure and even just cultural context, I do think there is something really unique in the “feel” of Korean dramas that isn’t present in other media I’ve watched. A special kind of relationship “raw” emotion that I think is integrally and inescapably Korean. I think this has to do with the concepts of jeong, han, and heung.

Jeong has to do with a sense of community and communal love, which I think might be the most “visual” of these three “indescribable” emotional concepts. You can see it in the special weight given to sharing food, or in drinking together. You can see it in the family that the neighborhood of Ssangmun-dong in Reply 1988, that creates an umbrella of bonds which extends far beyond blood relations. It’s something that generates a special kind of warmth that I look to Kdramas for specifically. Of course, when an ideal like this is damaged or missing or twisted beyond recognition it can cut deeply and leave behind irreparable scars. Which, I think, might explain why so many romantic heroes and heroines in melodramas come from places of profound social isolation (people like Moo Young in TSHLYE and Gang Do in Just Between Lovers) or from severely broken homes.

Perhaps more relevant to the discussion of melodramas in particularly, han has to do with a sort of internalized trauma, or grief that one carries with them throughout their lives. It can be a broader cultural trauma (like the societal scars left behind from the Japanese Occupation) or something more personal (Like the loss of a child or a broken relationship). I found this quote which I think explains the feeling and its relationship to Korean media well:

Long-term foreign residents here note a tendency of people to wallow in or enjoy the sadness, in an almost romantic way. There is a deep strain of melancholy in Korean culture, and this is expressed in the modern age through sad songs, films and TV dramas that offer an unrelenting stream of tragic heroes, unrequited love and bittersweet memories – most likely contributing to the appeal of Korean pop culture abroad.

[Korea: The Impossible Country’ by Daniel Tudor (2012)]

Heung is somewhat less relevant to our discussion of melodramas, although it is interesting and much more evident I think in other examples of Korean media, but it is the almost manic reaction or counterpoint to han. A sort of overflowing, irrepressible sense of pure joy. And I totally recommend you go out and read about this stuff yourself, I'm probably just slaughtering these concepts trying to summarize them in my feeble way.

It the special cocktail of all three of these "feelings" that give Korean dramas (for me, Korean melodramas in particular) that special addictive quality that made me fall so deeply in love with them. That tacit permission to feel things, to feel them deeply, even overwhelmingly and the catharsis that goes along with that. That is the special sauce, the “heightened”-ness I mentioned before that takes the mundane and makes it magical.

Sorry this got so out of hand, but I hope it was an interesting read and worth the wait. Thank you so much for the ask.

Jona

#asks #answered #melodramas #makjang #Korean dramas

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beatricetate89-blog · 4 years ago

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kittencaboodleextraordinaire · 4 years ago

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“Ok, but I had a Johnny first, and mine is better”: Adventures in Cyberpunk with a snarky headmate

Warning: this post contains considerable discussion of a major plot point in Cyberpunk 2077 which is discussed in the promotional materials (trailers etc) but which is not revealed in-game until after the first segment of the main story (the heist). Those who wish to remain unspoiled may instead view this lovely picture I edited of four raccoons in a trenchcoat (inspired by Critical Role’s playthrough of the absolutely delightful ttrpg Crash Pandas, which I highly encourage everybody in existence to go check out).

This phenomenal piece of art is surely the high point of this post. It can only go downhill from here.

Anyway.

So as we all know, Cyberpunk 2077 was finally released a few days ago to the expected amount of drama and fanfare, and my partner and I have been playing it together, by which I mean he’s been playing and I’ve been providing helpful advice like “We should totally buy the awesome purple car what do you mean you want a motorcycle THE MOTORCYCLE ISN’T PURPLE”. It’s not, y’know, an amazing game, but it’s pretty fun and I have already found multiple characters to ship V with, which I’m sure we can all agree is the truly important thing here. Plus of course there is abundant opportunity to make innuendo at my partner so I am a happy kitten. Mostly. There is one aspect of the story that is proving to be a continual source of awkwardness and general highly disconcerting aura. Namely, Johnny Silverhands.

At some point (I fell asleep for this part so I don’t know exactly what happened), you end up fused with a chip containing the personality of Johnny Silverhands, some kind of sort of famous dude who died a long time ago or something like that. awards self 10/10 stars for that eloquent and informative summary of important plot elements I was totally paying attention to and wasn’t asleep for at all anyway the important thing is there’s a dude hanging out in your brain with you. This is kind of weird and awkward for me, since I also have a dude hanging out in my brain with me. His name is Jonas. Jonas, say hi. J: I’m not a zoo animal and I don’t do tricks, also I reject the idea that this adds to the post in any real way. However you are very lucky because I am bored and complaining at you sounds more fun than going back to sleep. Now I’m tired and it’s 3:30 am go to bed or write the rest of this by your own damn self. That’s basically the same thing I guess.

Jonas is a bit weird. I don’t really have any idea what he is, and it’s not really within the scope of this blog post to discuss it in depth. He is some flavor of alternate personality, he is one of my closest friends, and he is a pain in the ass, much like most of my other friends. Having Jonas around is uncannily like V’s experience sharing their brain with Johnny Silverhands. Now I have a few other friends who have multiple personalities, one of whom is watching playthroughs of Cyberpunk and has appropriately described the experience as “pretty fucky”, which about sums it up. However it’s made even worse for me personally by the sheer number of similarities between Jonas and Johnny and their interactions with the people they share heads with, for (the most obvious) example, their names are really fucking similar. Jonas has matured a lot since he started appearing about 6-7 years ago but Johnny’s snark, unhelpfulness, complete disinterest in being nice, and even his body language all scream of Jonas’s original behavior, which, let’s be honest here, he still does all that anyway, he’s just nicer about it because he likes me. When Jonas and I talk, we tend to picture him as standing (or sitting or leaning against the wall or whatever) somewhere in the room with me, much as Johnny appears to V. He’s not active all the time and until very very recently was almost never “in charge”, so to speak, much like Johnny. So what we have here is somebody who acts a fuck of a lot like Jonas, has a similar name to Jonas, and interacts with their host in a manner that is almost a perfect match to how Jonas interacts with me. Somehow all of this went over my head. Then something even more uncanny happened.

Now, Jonas was originally an extremely minor character in a vast series of stories that I have made up in my head and never actually written down. He somehow evolved, without any conscious effort on my part, from a bit character who was never meant to do anything besides show up, get scolded by the authorities, and leave, to an increasingly major character, to living in my brain with me. Consequently, while he generally shares my tastes and preferences in terms of food and etc etc etc, there is an extremely major way in which we diverge: Jonas, like Johnny, and unlike me, smokes. All the time. It is Very Important to him. As such, the fact that I do not smoke and have exactly negative one billion interest in ever doing so is a source of intense frustration to him. We have had m a n y arguments about this. He knows not to push it too much and respects that it is my decision but that is not about to stop him from complaining about it loudly and with great passion. So when we encountered a scene of V and Johnny having the exact same fucking argument, ending with the incredibly blatantly Jonasesque lamentation from Johnny “Nonsmokers are the fucking worst”, it was like getting hit in the head with a brick. Actually forget the brick, it was like being hit with an entire building, and then having Jonas stick his head out the window and go “Missed me? ;)”, and then yelling back “WELL IDK BUT MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU’RE PILOTING AN ENTIRE FUCKING BUILDING IF YOU COULD TRY A LITTLE HARDER TO MISS ME THAT’D BE REALLY NICE THANKS” and then having him wink at me and assure me that head trauma builds character. It fucking doesn’t and he knows it.

After that, it was impossible to not see Jonas every time Johnny came onscreen. I still enjoy the game a lot. The setting and story are both really really cool and the loot is A+, and I really love being able to hang out in voice chat with my partner, who currently lives pretty far away, and do something fun together and experience something new. But having my relationship with Jonas, which I still have a lot of conflicting feelings about no matter how much I genuinely believe he’s a positive force in my life, reflected back at me at every turn, is bizarre, surreal, and a constant reminder of issues that have been nagging at me for a while, many of which are explicitly being brought up by the game itself. Last night we were doing a mission where V and Johnny at some point start talking and V mentions how they seem to be getting along better and Johnny suggests that maybe it’s because he’s rubbing off on V. V responds with something to the effect of “Am I becoming more like you, or are you becoming more like me?”. Jonas and I have been asking ourselves the same question for years. The only answer we were ever able to come up with is “probably both”, but the question of how much and to what extent, and if you start blending together with somebody else that much, are you really the same person anymore, and on down the rabbit hole we go, can really eat at you if you’re the kind of person who cares about that sort of thing. Which I guess we both are. And frankly we are probably not even half done with the main storyline and I doubt it’s going to stop posing these questions.

J: so I said I wasn’t going to have any more of this and went off in a huff but actually I changed my mind I have some stuff to say.

this is obviously weird for kitsie, and I guess it might be obviously weird for me too but it’s weird in an entirely different kinda way. it’s certainly surreal, and a lot of the questions it keeps bringing up are a lot to think about. Johnny is a program on a computer chip designed to be a copy of the original Johnny’s brain. this raises the question, and this may or may not be addressed later, how real is he? and is he the original Johnny, just on a computer chip now, or is he a different entity who happens to be identical to Johnny? and how is a person on a computer chip embedded on somebody’s brain really different from a person who’s a subroutine in somebody else’s brain? am I real? am I a part of Kitsie that just thinks differently for some reason? are we two facets of a whole being that’s kind of both of us and kind of neither of us? am I just a hitchhiker? I really don’t know. I have a lot of memories and backstory. things I did in the past, before I knew Kitsie. are those memories real? they feel real to me but on the other hand they didn’t actually happen. are Johnny’s memories real? they did happen but he’s a brain scan so did they actually happen to him? it’s a lot to think about, but hard to stop thinking.

and then there’s the other concern, which is that this is a game for kitsie to enjoy with her partner, and whenever this shit happens it wakes me up and I end up feeling really weird, like I’m intruding. which I am. and as wonderful and understanding as he is, I’m still very much something he is getting used to and having problems adjusting to and I really understand because fuck I’m having a problem adjusting to me too. and maybe it’s stupid but I feel bad for being the disconcerting aura of uncomfortable thoughts wafting through something that’s supposed to be a pleasant and fun evening without me in it. which frankly sums up my entire existence. fuck this I’m tired I’m out of here again go tf to sleep kit.

I had more to say but “what he said” pretty much sums it up.

In conclusion, I don’t really have any objection to the story itself. It’s an interesting concept carried out fairly well that under normal circumstances I would think was really cool, and certainly it’s been a unique experience anyway. And I guess if anything the fact that it’s so unnervingly on the nose is a sign they did a good job? I’m still having a huge amount of fun with the game and the massive backlog of sidequests combined with our minimal ability to focus means that the main quest only takes up a small portion of our playtime in any case. I just needed to get all this shit off my chest.

This has been tonight’s episode of the Kitty Rambles Podcast, I am too tired to think of any good way to end this so goodnight and thank you for tuning in!

#cyberpunk 2077 systems headmates seriously what even the fuck

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ais-n · 7 years ago

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Editing (and writing) tips

I recently got a question asking about writing tips in general, and especially related to editing. For privacy reasons, as usual, I won’t name the person–but I’m writing a post here instead of replying directly because 1) I always ramble like fuuuuuuuck and 2) maybe someone else out there is curious about the same thing from my perspective.

First, as always, I’m obviously not a professional. You’ll definitely want to go with what professionals say, if anything goes against my thoughts. But for what it’s worth, I helped a family member edit her book and a professional who worked with her on the book was really impressed with my feedback. Which I am not saying to pat myself on the back; I say only to mention that maybe, hopefully, some of this is useful and not totally leading people down the wrong path lol

If it’s easier for you to read this on another site, or if it doesn’t let you click the “read more” link, you can find this entire post also on my blog here: https://aisness.wordpress.com/2017/07/04/editing-and-writing-tips/

Writing

I have some posts on writing advice here: http://ais-n.tumblr.com/tagged/writing-advice — and there should be some that Santino and/or I wrote under “writing questions” here: https://aisness.wordpress.com/2016/05/01/icos-master-list-feb-2016-edition (Note that there may be some overlap between the two links, also I’m not sure if all those links still work–if you see any specifically that don’t, let me know).

I have lots of thoughts on writing, but they’re all pretty informed by my personal writing style which is very much aimed toward writing what makes sense for that story and those characters, and “rules” be damned. I don’t like the idea of confining oneself to expectations if it interferes with the natural, organic progression of a story. That does mean I tend to go pretty hardcore into stuff I write because if I’m writing a dark story, I’m not going to pull punches; and I tend to add a fair amount of darkness into my stories because it doesn’t feel realistic to me otherwise. But this also means my style doesn’t work for people who want to feel like they always know what’s coming or at least know the limits to which the story will go. After all, as we’ve seen, you cannot trust me to not totally fuck up a character because it feels like the right progression for me. And that’s not fun for some people to read, you know? But it’s super hard for me to write a more chill story because it’s not the kind of story I tend to read. I try to do it and then I get bored, but other people can do that same concept and story in a fantastically beautiful way and really excel at it.

What I mean by this aside is that I have maybe a bit of an odd viewpoint on writing stories compared to some more traditional or mainstream views, so that may make me a terrible person to ask for thoughts for you, or it may make me someone who vibes better with your personal style. I think it’s most important we’re all genuine to ourselves so whatever writing style works for you is the perfect style for your stories. There’s a story out there for every occasion, every voice, every idea, every feeling.

There is no right or wrong way to write; in my opinion, the only way you can do anything “wrong” is by not believing in your own personal voice, your own personal style; by silencing your individuality if it doesn’t fit the stronger, louder voice. If it does fit, that’s perfect and you should run with it. If it doesn’t, don’t change yourself or your world or characters or story into something it isn’t. That feeling of dissonance will be what is taken away from your story instead of the story itself, at least to readers like me. Because I do believe what Maya Angelou said is true: people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. In my personal opinion both as a reader and a writer, I think that applies to stories as well.

I also think research is really important but I guess that’s a whole other thing. I’m getting too much into writing tips right now so I’ll leave it at this and the linked posts above — but if anyone is curious about anything in particular, let me know. If you’d be curious about my personal thoughts on anything, I’m happy to answer

Editing:

Editing is a pain, but also kind of fun. I have a few thoughts on it– most of what I’m first talking about below is you editing your own work. I touch a little on editing someone else’s work afterward.

**Read or edit for the overall flow as much (or IMO more) than you do the specific grammatical nitpicking. I know that’s going to go against what a lot of people feel about editing, but here’s the thing: stories are translations of the heart, whether it’s the heart of the overall story, the heart of the writer, the heart of the characters, the heart of the reader, the heart of whatever it represents. To me, a story is poetry on a larger scale, or it’s a song, or it’s whatever artistic endeavor that represents something that, to you, feels moving or meaningful.

Yes, it’s important that we understand what you’re trying to say. For that, yes, having someone check the grammar is definitely useful.

But the rules of grammar are not the rules of language. That may sound like an odd thing to say because, yeah, technically it is– but think about when you’re learning a new language. If it’s anything like when I’ve taken classes in the multiple languages I’ve taken classes in, the teacher tells you all the specific grammatical rules so you’re speaking properly, politely, in complete sentences with all the correct intonation and all the right tenses. You can definitely get your thoughts across if you learn a language that way, in that people will understand the concept of what you’re saying because you are literally speaking textbook to them.

But then think about your native language. Do you speak or type grammatically correct all the time? Do you avoid contractions, run-on sentences, do you not indulge in hyperbole, do you not have fun dropping an Oxford comma or two? If you’re feeling an intense emotion, aren’t you even more likely to play the strings of the language you know best? Changing vocabulary to emphasize meaning or form, adding intensity in your tone or your chosen verbal attack, throwing in swear words or cutting your sentences in half then in half again and again until it’s just partial words because you’re too upset or excited or something else to properly form a complete sentence?

There may be people out there who don’t do this, I don’t know. But for me, this is how I function, and it seems to me how a lot of people around me function. We rarely speak perfectly politely, perfectly properly, in our native tongue 100% of the time. Even languages built very much on the concept of polite and proper, even cultures with a clear sense of in group vs out group, have variations set in place in their language to indicate intimacy, friendship, a sense of understanding. Those levels are there so we can share that connection with others in something as simple as the word we choose when we call them, or the name we use when they come close.

To me, stories are like levels of language. There are different ways of telling the stories based on the story that’s being told. If it’s a character who’s distant or cold, or a setting that requires a sense of detachment, writing in very proper, polite, grammatically perfect sentences makes sense because it provides that sense of out group you would get in your native tongue. If it’s a story that should feel visceral, cloying, catastrophically vulnerable, then it’s meaningful to write in an ebb and flow of emotion dependent on the feeling of the character or the feeling the writer wants to create within the reader. Words breathe life into the story they relay, so the chosen words matter. Most of the time, I think stories benefit from a variation in the telling of them; perfect in some places, very imperfect in others, a constant reflection of the tapestry of emotions and motion in the world or story itself, or a view into the mind of the character displayed.

So, although it’s important to have someone who can help with any egregious and unhelpful grammatical mistakes, or spelling errors or the like, I also don’t think that should be the primary focus. It’s the sort of thing that’s important to take into account so that no poor wording accidentally jolts the reader from the story, but it shouldn’t be the be all and end all because that could result in losing the more emotional flow needed for what the story is trying to get across.

I think of it like this: writers are the translators for a character’s life. How would the characters feel at different points in the story, and therefore how best can that be worded to make the reader feel the same way reading it? How can you make the reader feel like they are experiencing that same emotion the character is feeling? That’s the best way to bring alive a world or plot or character, in my mind: by making it real.

**Read, reread, reread again, but leave time in between. One of the best things I think you can do right after you finish writing a story is set it aside and do not touch it or think about it for a time period that makes sense for the length of story you wrote, or whatever makes sense for you as a person. I like to give it at least a week, and if it’s a story I worked on for a long time, maybe even months.

Obviously you have to go according to if you have a deadline or not, or whatever other factors are affecting you in your life and situation. If it’s a short story, okay then maybe you really only need to set it aside for a day or a few hours before getting back in there. But if it’s something you labored on at length, you need to give yourself a clarity you can’t achieve by immediately starting over at the top. I wrote Incarnations over the course of 20 years, for example, and I ended up finishing it in October 2016, set it aside for most of November and December, did the occasional spot checking and spot editing throughout through February or March 2017, and didn’t really fully reread it until May 2017. Now it’s going into July 2017, and I’m still editing it again, I just started rereading from the start, and I’m still finding things that can use improvement. But I’m happy about it, because the improvements I’m seeing are ones that I think are valuable, and they’re things I obviously didn’t notice any of the many times I reread these early chapters in the years preceding this month.

So, finish your story and then push it aside and don’t think about it right away. Do other things. I like to watch TV shows I like, play games that are fun, turn to manga, whatever it is that relaxes you and may also inspire you, without being too closely connected to the source material (aka, your book) where it won’t let you fully get that distance. That’s why I like to use other media like movies, TV shows, etc, instead of other books because it’s too easy to fall back into a comparative mindset on something too parallel.

That sounds a little crazy, I know, but you could send it off to other people in that interim if that makes sense to you. (That’s what I did — in October when I finished Incarnations, I sent it to my 4 betas which then gave them plenty of time to look it over in the months I was laying low. And just in late June I got another beta who is looking at the whole thing with fresh eyes, which is good because now she has the copy of the book that included all the improvements I made between myself and my betas’ suggestions.) I think it’s important to have that break, whether you send it to others or simply set it aside for no one to read for some time. You don’t want to go so long that you never pick it up again, but you want to give yourself time to distance yourself from all the decisions big and small you made in the course of writing it.

The reason for this is so that when you go back and reread it from beginning to end, you are looking at it with fresh eyes. You’re going to be more likely to notice things that need fixing that way; whether it’s a poorly done transition, or maybe an idea on how to improve a whole section, or maybe you realize you need to remove this piece so that another part shines. Ideally, you will want to reread a few times, and give yourself some space again in between at some point.

You will always find things you missed or things that need to be improved, no matter how many times you reread and edit it, no matter how many people look at it. Stories are living, breathing evolutions of the heart. They will always feel both very right and very wrong, because they will always strike you a little different every time you review them.

**Save everything! This is another suggestion that probably a lot of people will disagree with, but personally I’m a pack rat. I keep all the old versions of everything I ever write, because I find it helpful sometimes to pull inspiration from the past, or to double check that I made the right decision on this or that. Or sometimes in the course of editing and rereading and reviewing, you’ll realize that a scene you wrote previously that you removed is one that still keeps coming back to you.

That happened with me in Incarnations, to give you an example to explain what I mean. As I mentioned, I’ve been working on that book on and off for 20 years. In the course of that time, I kept writing new beginnings to the book, doing random new scenes, trying to find something to jumpstart my interest in a story I loved but a book that was hard for me to write. In one of those incarnations (no pun intended ;p), I had a scene of some characters walking into a town, and the way that town felt to the POV character. I actually wrote probably 3 or 4 versions of this same scene, from different POVs, of them walking into this town. I really liked the scene, and I really wanted that scene to start the book for a long time, and for a long time it did.

At some point I chose a different character’s POV as the main scene, and then eventually I decided to cut out that scene entirely and take pieces of it with the same POV character but write a totally different scenario. So I ended up scrapping that entire start of a chapter I had. I know many people who would simply delete that because it isn’t relevant anymore, but being a pack rat, I didn’t.

Years passed and I got to the point in the book where all the characters go to that town. But because of the way I was jumping back and forth chronologically between character POVs, I decided to totally scrap the scene of them entering the town, and instead you would see them heading toward it, then the next time you saw them they would have been there for hours and there would be a recap in narration of what happened up until that point. I felt like that was fine in writing it and editing it and that’s what I did. But then, after I gave myself those months of not rereading it front to back, after I gave myself time to spot check other parts, when I reread it with fresh eyes I felt like it was jarring having that time skip.

I needed to add back in a scene of them entering the town; of the impact it had on them. If I had deleted that scene for good, it would have been incredibly frustrating for me because I remembered liking what I’d had before, I remembered having most of it written out, I knew it would be so much faster to find that and add it back in and edit it for flow instead of rewriting from scratch. And because I keep everything, because I use Scrivener where everything is in one place, because I have it organized just well enough for me to know where to find the folder of old chapters and old chapter parts, it was easy for me to find that scene, incorporate it into a new chapter, and edit out the narration info dump in the other chapter that had thrown off the flow.

When you’re on your 3rd, 4th, 20th time of rereading or editing a story, it’s way too frustrating to think about having to write something completely new. It feels like, come on, I should be over that part, I should have the freedom to not have to totally write a brand new chapter. But you may find that previous ideas you had actually do work better to bring back into the fold instead of leaving out. If you delete everything you did along the way, you will double or triple your frustration at the point you need it. And if you’re anything like me, you may delay yourself significantly in going forward because you’ll be too frustrated by your lack of forethought to want to deal with what you need to do in the present.

You may find you never reuse your old bits and pieces–you may think, that doesn’t apply to me, if I delete something I know I want it gone for good, I don’t care about what it was before because if I need to add something I want to add something brand new. That may be how you function so that may work wonderfully and therefore, you may be tempted to delete things just so you get it out of your way. I would still recommend saving everything, for an entirely different reason as well. It’s nice to see where you were, to know where you are now. It can be good for yourself to see how you used to write so you can see your improvements.

But even more than that, if your story ever makes it big or even has a meaningful impact on one other person, they may really appreciate having that insight into how the story started vs what it became. I know I personally like having that insight for myself, and for stories I enjoy I always love to have all the drafts and tidbits and whatever else I can find, because it makes the world feel even more real to me. It can be inspirational to other people, or it can simply be a fun extra for a story or world they adore.

Think about JKR — think of all the people who would love to have the airplane bag she wrote the Hogwarts houses on first, or the notepads she originally wrote the plot ideas on, because Harry Potter is important to them. She may have seen those as something to throw away back then, in the case of the airplane bags something literally made to be discarded, and yeah it was just ink on a throwaway bag. But it was the beginning of something so much more. She can never get back that bag if she throws it out, but if she keeps it, it can be a constant reminder to her of where she started and where she is now, or an inspiration to other writers that you don’t need all the biggest and best programs and computers and training to write. You just need a story you want to tell, and a means to write it down.

**Notes are great. Speaking of notes, I think they’re great! I use Scrivener when I’m writing, and it helps soooooo much in editing too. One of the things I do as I write and edit and reread is I’m constantly leaving comments to myself in the story. I leave comments about “this is what’s happening in the background of this scene” or “this is what’s meaningful about this particular wording from the character” or “this is what that means even though it won’t come up for a long time” or “why did I do this? check if I want to keep it” or “hey I just got a great idea on how I can incorporate this into a future idea, note to self remember to add this in later” and so on and so forth. Because I’m wordy as fuck, some of those comments are basically a short story on their own. But they give me so much more context than I would have otherwise had, and there have been many times that I totally forgot about the significance of something, only to see it mentioned in a comment and say to myself, “Oh hey! That’s actually really cool…”

When editing, those comments are invaluable to help remind me of what I was thinking when I first wrote something. Also, it helps me see if something bugged me in previous rereading or editing, so that I can decide if I do eventually want to delete or change a part or if I want to keep it. It lets me compare my current editing thoughts against previous editing or writing thoughts, which gives me a much more faceted view of every step along the way.

**Have beta readers, ideally from different perspectives. I think having multiple, trusted people read your story is important after you’ve finished it. They will have an outside perspective you won’t, and they may notice things you missed. They may have great ideas for improvement that wouldn’t have occurred to you, and they may have feedback for some of the ideas you had that just aren’t working for them as readers. You want that variance of view because it will give you a much more faceted experience of your story than you would get if you only look at it yourself, or only choose yes men as your feedback.

**Find a critic. Along the lines of beta readers, it’s important to have betas who will read the story for the overall flow, the overall emotional impact, and give you feedback on that. How did the story make them feel? How did the characters connect or not connect with them, and why? These are important factors in a story. And yeah, maybe this character shouldn’t be connecting with readers, maybe that’s the whole point– but then that gives you a good idea that you were on the right track with how you wrote that.

But you can never improve if you only seek out people who will tell you all the great things you’re doing, and none of the bad. No story is perfect, there is no book that can’t be improved. You don’t want to get all the way to the point of releasing the story and only then find all the flaws in it, where it becomes a criticism on a grander scale and can even affect word of mouth, or whether or not people choose to read it. You will never make it perfect, but it’s good to know ahead of time what people may fault the story for, so you have time to determine if you find fault in that as well and want to fix it, or if for you it’s something that is there purposefully, that shouldn’t change, at which point you will have a better answer ready for when the questions come about why this or why that.

Find someone who will constructively criticize your story–someone who will nitpick details, challenge the rules of the world, ask you to explain or justify why this or that choice was made. You should be able to answer all those questions, give reasons for all those challenges. If you can’t, that gives you a really good view of the parts of your story that may need improvement, or perhaps areas that don’t flow well with the rest.

Find the level of critic that makes sense for what you’re doing. If you’re doing a fun little story that isn’t a serious endeavor, then you don’t need someone who will rip it to shreds because that may not be the point of the story. But if you’re writing an epic series with an intricate plot, it would behoove you to get that other perspective that will be pulling apart the story as they read to give you clues to what thoughts may be going through a reader’s mind, and what needs to be added, changed, or removed to improve that experience.

Again, it’s important this person gives you constructive criticism — just being told you write like shit isn’t helpful. You need someone who will pinpoint problem areas and tell you why and how it needs help. Ideally, that person will also be a great bouncing board for you to figure out solutions to those problems.

**Follow critical people. Another thing I like to do is find people who do constructive criticism of books we all know or love; popular series, indie series, it doesn’t matter. There are writers, editors, critics, etc, out there who post about why they did or didn’t like this or that thing. You need to find someone who is fair about it; who doesn’t just rip into everything to be a jerk, but who will constructively address issues they see in stories in whatever media they follow.

Having them go through stories we all know can be really useful, because then you have something to compare against as a fellow reader. Do you agree with their criticism or assessment of this story or that plot or this character? Why or why not? Do you never agree with their criticisms, or do you mostly agree but sometimes not? That will give you a really good idea of where they’re coming from in their own perspective when they’re looking at stories, so then you know how to interpret recommendations they give generally or specifically in stories they’re reading.

You can then look at what they’re saying about these books you have also read, what they see as the problems and what they see as the solutions, and then apply that mindset to your own story and try to see from the perspective they would have for your work. What do you think they would say needs to change? What do you think they would say is the reason? Do you agree? How can you adjust it so that their criticism wouldn’t apply but that you still feel comfortable you are keeping the story real to its needs?

One of my favorite people who does this is Whitley over at http://readingwithavengeance.com/. She also has a whole section on writing tips or thoughts here: http://readingwithavengeance.com/tagged/on-writing. What I like about Whitley is she’s funny and snarky in places, but she isn’t mean. She explains why she feels how she feels, she will be very critical of things that make no sense to her, but she gives suggestions for how it might have been improved, and even in a book she loathes she will always say if this or that line or part or plot point actually is done well. Also, she usually overviews what’s happening and often goes chapter by chapter, so you could read an entire book through her criticisms alone, and know everything that happened in the book while also knowing how she felt about it. It’s sort of like having director commentary for a book, only it’s critic commentary. I used to religiously follow her blog and haven’t as much lately only because I’m on tumblr less, but I do love her perspective from when I followed her in the past. I actually was going to hire her to review Incarnations, but the book is so long that it would cost me a fortune to have her look at it, which is a shame because I think she would have a wonderful perspective. But speaking of, some of the people who are critics like Whitley actually can be hired as an editor of your book–consider that as an option if it makes sense for you.

But you don’t have to agree with Whitley–I mention her as an example of someone I personally really like, but you may like someone else. Point being, find that person who resonates with you, see what issues they have with stories they are critiquing, and turn that critical thinking onto your own story to see if you fall into the same tropes as that book and if so, see if you think it can be improved.

**Don’t be afraid to change things, and don’t be afraid to keep things. Make the story true to the world, the characters, and you; don’t compromise anything that’s really important to you to keep, just because someone says it doesn’t meet expectations or genre rules or whatever other explanation. But also don’t just dismiss what they’re saying because you don’t like it; really consider their feedback, their point of view, their suggestions. If it’s something that’s too important to keep, then even if they recommend you remove it, figure out a compromise that lets you keep what you want to keep without detracting from the quality of the overall story. Value their contributions and their viewpoint without replacing your own with theirs simply because you’re insecure.

**Don’t see editing as an extended means of failure. Don’t see editing as something that is only showing you your failures. If there are a lot of mistakes in your story, if a lot of things need to be changed, if you feel like in the end you’re changing more than you’re keeping–none of this is indicative of failure, and so you shouldn’t feel down about it. It’s all about improving the rough edges of your story so it can truly shine, and in that way it will not detract from the characters or world or plot it covers.

Constructive criticism and beta readers can provide an invaluable source of feedback, but it’s also important you ask them to tell you what does work. You need to know where you did well for the story, and where it can be improved. But know that improving something isn’t showing you failed in the original writing of it; it only means you wrote something well enough that people understood where you wanted to go with it, but you didn’t have the other perspectives yet on how to take it there even further. We are all human beings with our own singular POV. That’s why it’s important to get those other thoughts, to help us expand our view. We still did a great job in the original writing of it no matter how much needs to change, because we still wrote it. We still got something out there into the world that wasn’t there before. We still became the voice for that world or character. All we’re doing now is finding a way to polish that voice so more people on a larger scale understand it better.

**Don’t let the rules rule you. There is a risk of me sounding a bit sassy in this section and I genuinely don’t mean to, but this happens to be a major frustration I have generally in life which comes out pretty well in this concept. I feel like I see people reference this idea of genre expectations sometimes in writing, and I don’t get it. I know, I know, I probably am the odd one out on this; I probably have a strange perspective that the professionals would say is all wrong. Maybe they’re right, or maybe I just don’t understand what people are trying to say. But the way I interpret this concept I’ve seen– that you have to fit certain rules to be “successful”–it’s just… it’s something that is so against the way I feel about life that it’s hard for me to reconcile.

The thing is, stories shouldn’t be cookie cutter. Sometimes they can fall into that mindset if everyone is so concerned with meeting the rules placed upon them that they aren’t following the rules or flow of their own world or story.

I personally feel like the library would be a pretty boring place if literally every book checked all the boxes and stayed in the boundaries of its particular genre. There’s no room for innovation there; no room for growth as a writer. At least, not for me for the way I write. Maybe for others, the boundaries of a genre don’t at all feel like all any sort of inhibitor for the story they can and will write, and so for them it probably makes a lot of sense to look at those rules and follow them because it may give them some parameters to start with for the story they want to write. I’m not saying people are wrong for following those rules or expectations if it works well for them; they should do whatever is most comfortable for them, most accurate to their ideals or tendencies. There are probably some phenomenal books out there that very much follow the rules of the genre, that stay within the boundaries, because those stories fit the genre so perfectly. But n that scenario,the writer is still being true to the story, it’s just that the way of being true to that story naturally remains within the genre itself. They aren’t compromising their world or story or book to stay in the boxes; their story flourishes in that area and doesn’t need to expand beyond it; may even be detrimental if it did.

That works perfectly well for them so they should do what’s best for them. But for those who don’t naturally feel comfortable staying in boundaries, or whose stories don’t tend to remain confined to a singular genre, they shouldn’t change no matter what they’re told. We need that variation in stories, in writers, in worlds. When people say that a story needs to stay within this or that box because of this or that reason, maybe because not every book can be LOTR or ASOIAF/GOT, or whatever, yeah, that’s true. Not every book can. But those series are well known because they were not conventional. Not everyone can be GRRM, yeah. But GRRM is GRRM, and probably was told he couldn’t be Tolkien. And Tolkien was probably told he was crazy.

Most really famous writers will tell you that they were rejected repeatedly before their story was accepted, even if that story is now astoundingly popular or considered groundbreaking in some form.

That’s why I don’t think it’s wise to listen to “you can only do __” because if everyone only does the same thing, then how is there any innovation or variety?

I’m not saying there’s nothing of value by staying within boundaries–there could be incredibly interesting, or well written stories, or even really creative ones, staying within the bounds. But not everyone who stays within boundaries will always be able to remain unique from everyone else stuck in those same boundaries. Eventually, as a numbers game, it will come to a point where much of the stories become reflective of each other.

Sort of like how you can have canon, then all the fanfic writers start writing their stories and being inspired by each other and having a lot of fun coming up with details to fill in the blanks of their information–and everyone is so inspired by and informed about the other stories in their same field that little details start to reflect each other. And then soon those ideas become facts that become indistinguishable from canon, even though they are fanon. Now, everyone is reflecting the same false concept because everyone saw it so frequently that they came to view it as a rule rather than an idea. That doesn’t at all mean all those fanfics are bad; there can still be phenomenally written ones in that fandom. But it does mean that now everyone is playing the same cards in slightly different ways, because they forgot that they could move beyond them. And now, a character who had blue eyes in canon suddenly has purple because it transitioned from blue to indigo to blue-purple to purple, and now we’re all calling them something they aren’t, because we all thought we had to follow the same set of data points in a situation that is meant to give a person freedom from those expectations. That is, until someone else comes along who says, “Hey, I looked at the canon again and noticed the character’s eyes are blue, so now I’m going to write a story divorced from the unspoken rules of fanon” and if their story has merit, if what they wanted to tell was a good story and done well, they become a new voice bringing new ideas and new life info a fandom that had accidentally, in its love and devotion for the originating source, found itself stuck in self-assigned boundaries of expectations and rules that didn’t need to be there.

That’s how I see the concept of having to only write by the rules. If it works for the story, then go for it. If it doesn’t work for the story, don’t compromise just to check off those boxes.

Readers respond to the truth of a story, whatever that truth may be. They will notice more if a story is stifled to fit rules than they will if a story expands beyond the rules it was given, in order to grow.

If you want a comparison — In the Company of Shadows is a story some people really like. But when Santino and I wrote it, we knew absolutely nothing about the m/m genre. We just wrote what we wrote because it made sense for the story, the world, the characters, and we released it on AFFN and eventually it made its way through word of mouth into the m/m genre reading community. There are a lot of aspects of ICoS that don’t fit the genre, and some things that probably are considered something you should not do. But those are the parts of ICoS that people seem to value the most. If we had gone into that story deciding that the only way to write a m/m series was to first immerse ourselves in the genre, and write down all the rules, and then follow them completely, ICoS would not be the story it is. And in my opinion, it would not have resonated with a lot of the people it did resonate with, and so it would not have had the impact it’s had. There are stories in m/m that flourish in m/m and they don’t need to change. ICoS is not one of them.

I was told, years ago, by someone who had been a friend that she didn’t need to read ICoS to know it would be shit, because I had told her how we wrote what we wrote because it felt right, and we didn’t know anything about the genre, we didn’t follow any rules. Her perspective was that it couldn’t possibly be good if it didn’t. She felt that it was imperative to know those rules first, to follow the genre boundaries, because otherwise it wasn’t going to fit that genre and therefore wouldn’t be a good story. This woman was upset at the time she said these things, so it’s possible she didn’t 100% mean everything she said, but I do think she did fully believe that perspective and viewpoint. There may have been other reasons going into why she said these things, perhaps something she had been told for her own stories that became a source of frustration for her that found an outlet in our conversation. I don’t know. All I know is, I will never agree with the idea that the value of a story is solely in the rules it follows, rather than the story itself.

**When you think you’re completely finished, set it aside for a little bit and read it again. You’ll probably find more things you want to change. And if not, you’ll have the satisfaction of work well done and finally finished. Maybe you’ll be able to see all the wonderful scenes you wrote more that way. I find that happens for me… I can be pretty down about what I write, but if I give myself enough time and go back and reread it from a fresh perspective, sometimes I surprise myself in reading scenes or interactions or wording. Sometimes I think that something I did was genuinely well done. It’s important to give myself that allowance, that acknowledgment, as much as it is to always remember that I will never write a perfect story, and I will never reach a point where I can’t improve.

But that can be part of the adventure. Where can you go next as a writer? The idea of getting better doesn’t have to be something negative, looking at all the things you did wrong and how you weren’t good enough the first time. In my darker days that’s how I see things, but it doesn’t have to be that way. It can be something incredibly positive. Look at how much I can still learn, look at how far I can still expand, look at all the growth I have available to me in my future. That’s amazing. That’s something that gives me an endless source of education–which will allow me to always and always reach out in new and improved ways, to forge new connections and strengthen those new and valuable understandings.

The book Incarnations was 20 years ago, back when I called it Calling of the Onyx, back when it had some of the same characters but was completely different, back when I was that 12-14 year old kid wanting to write a fantasy novel about a female main character navigating her world of magic, with her getting to be the savior instead of some random male character always taking charge–that book had potential, but it had a long way to go. I recognized that even then; knew it wasn’t as good as it could be, and that’s what made me stop before I finished it and start over, then start over again and again as the years passed, as I gained new life experiences, as I got a broader understanding of the world, as I had new ideas on how to improve or change or mitigate what I already had written. Calling of the Onyx was a passable book. It probably would have been considered good or at least decent for a preteen kid to write. Incarnations is so much better. Whether or not people will like it when it’s out, inherently Incarnations is a major improvement because I learned so much more in my life in the process of getting to the point where I could write a cohesive story, and finish the book for the first time. Now it’s part of a series, now it’s part of something much larger than it would have been before. There is great value in what was Calling of the Onyx, in the ideas I had back then, and that value helped inform the story I wrote over the following 20 years. But if I had stopped at CotO, if I had told myself I had to play by those rules only, I would have lost out on a lot of what came next. I wouldn’t have added so much more to the world building that I did, I wouldn’t have expanded the character base so much, I wouldn’t have done a lot of things.

Incarnations being a better book doesn’t devalue CotO; it honors what it was, and expands it into something more, something new with a reflective nod to the past. That’s what you can do any time you edit a story; value the old while honoring the new; honoring the old while valuing the new. With that willingness to listen to your thoughts and your betas, you can find a version of the story that fits its world or context best, without losing what makes it unique or meaningful.

And now that I spent so much more time waxing poetic about editing, it’s probably way too much to go into examples of how I edit other peoples’ work. If that’s something anyone has interest in, let me know and I can find examples that won’t contain spoilers or privacy concerns, or show a way of editing my own work as if I were editing someone else’s.

I don’t know if anything I said in this long post is of use to anyone. I do have an inherent need to push back against rules that I see as labels that try to confine or define me in ways I don’t agree with, because that’s something that is sort of inherent to me as a person. As an asexual, as a lesbian, as someone who’s so often been on the outside of the “norm” in so many big and small ways, I react strongly to being told I have to be boxed in by other peoples’ expectations. That informs a lot of the way I write and read stories; I don’t want to feel stifled there any more than I want to feel stifled in my living, breathing life. I don’t mean to be rude to anyone who feels otherwise about the way they write or edit, and I am not at all saying they are doing anything wrong– if it’s right for them, then in fact it’s extremely right for them to do.

But if you are a person like me, a writer or a reader who feels the way I feel on these things, then maybe the way I look at editing or writing will help you. Because at the very least, you’ll know you aren’t alone.

If that resonates with you, you may find some of the other posts I’ve made in the past to be helpful, like Never regret you and the Equality of Differences. Or, you may find some peace or connection in perusing my about Ais tag on my blog as linked or here on tumblr -- or my personal category on my blog. Whatever you choose, I’m wishing you all the very best.

#writing advice #writing #editing #about me #ask ais #long post

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efosa123 · 6 years ago

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Advanced Keyword Research Tutorial (5-Step Blueprint) in this video I'm going to show you my proven five-step keyword research blueprint this is the same blueprint I've used to help grow my site to over a hundred and fifty thousand unique visitors per month i'm brian dean the founder of backlinko the place where marketers turn for high rankings and more traffic and today you're going to learn exactly how to find the best keywords for your business keep watching when i first got started with SEO my approach the keyword research was a total mess back then I'd fire up the latest and greatest keyword research tool and start typing in a bunch of random keywords so what's wrong with this approach my competitors were doing the exact same thing no wonder most of the keywords I found were insanely competitive now over the years I developed a keyword research blueprint that works really well specifically this blueprint will help you uncover keywords that your competition doesn't know about so let's dive right in with step number one of this process which is to identify your customer persona this is a step that most people skip and it hurts them Wow what was that so what is identifying your customer persona actually mean let me explain with an example my site sells SEO training products to small and medium-sized businesses most people in my position would open up a keyword research tool and type in things like SEO training and SEO courses into the tool what's the problem with this approach first off like I mentioned before your competition is doing the exact same thing which means you're going to run into the exact same set of keywords as your competitors but more important than that this approach ignores a very important fact about your customer is that fact is this your customer spends 99.9 percent of their time online not searching for what you sell in other words if you only target your customer when they search for the exact thing you sell you're missing out on hundreds of other opportunities to get in front of them for example in my case I noticed that most of my customers were SEO agencies so I went to forums and online communities where SEO agency owners tended to hang out that way I could see what my target cost I search for when he wasn't searching for SEO training and I discovered that there are dozens of keywords that my target customer typed into Google that were related to my products but had nothing to do with SEO training keywords like on-page SEO list building how to get more traffic and SEO tools and because I target these keywords I get my business in front of thousands of my target customers every single day and when my target customer is ready to buy I'm the first person that comes to mind that's the power of doing keyword research based on your customer persona and all you need to do for this step is say my customer is X for example if you want an online flower shop you might say my customer is a bride getting ready for her upcoming wedding how it was easy right now that you've identified your customer persona it's time to find topics that your customer is interested in which leads us to the next step in my keyword research blueprint which is to find topics that your customers care about so how do you find these topics it's simple go to where your target customer hangs out online then look for topics that they tend to discuss seriously that's it for example in my case my customers tend to hang out at marketing focused communities like inbound org in growth hackers calm in your case your target customer may hang out in places like Pinterest Reddit YouTube industry blogs and niche forums once you've identified where your target customer hangs out it's time to keep an eye out for topics that are important to them for example in my case I notice that link building was one of the most popular topics in the online communities that my audience spent time on so I wrote down link building as a topic and it kept digging until I found at least five topics that might our customers talked about in online communities now that you have at least five topics it's time to drill down into finding keywords here my four favorite tactics are finding untapped keywords that your competition doesn't know about first we have Google Suggest to use this strategy just head over to google and type your topic into the search field but don't press Enter instead take a look at the queue words that google suggest for you these are usually awesome longtail keywords that you can go after as a quick pro tip try putting a few spaces before your keyword this will show you a completely different set of keyword ideas next up we have Quora com Korra is a massive community of people that ask and answer questions on every topic Under the Sun all you need to do is search for your topic in Cora and see which keywords tend to show up or next tactic for finding keywords is to use reddit let Cora reddit is a massive community of people that discuss every topic Under the Sun from pets to politics to use writer for keyword research simply head over to Reddit in search for your topic when you find a thread on your topic keep an eye out for words and phrases that tend to come up again and again these make awesome keyword ideas next up we have Google's searches related to feature to use this feature simply type your topic into Google then scroll to the bottom of the results Google then show you other searches that are related to the keyword you just put in these are usually excellent longtail keywords that you can target with your content finally we have Wikipedia what other site has in-depth articles for topics like mall walking the lingerie football league and yes the five-second rule to use Wikipedia for keyword research just head over to Wikipedia and type in your topic then take a look at the other entries that that article links to these are usually closely related topics and even potential keywords themselves also make sure to check out the table of contents for that entry again these are usually keywords that are closely tied to your topic now do you have a list of potential keywords it's time to choose the best from your list how by analyzing each keywords commercial intent one of the first websites I ever built shot to the top of google for my target keyword and because that keyword good a ton of search volume that single ranking helped that site generate over 60,000 unique visitors per month all good right wrong even though that key we're going to ton of searches the people that search for that keyword were flat broke which made monetizing that traffic impossible sorry dude I'm broke that's why today I pay very close attention to a keywords commercial intent commercial intent simply means how likely someone searching for a given keyword is to buy from you here's how to find out if your keyword has a high commercial intent or not first head over to the Google Keyword planner and type in one of your potential keywords then take a look at the suggested bid column this shows you how much advertisers are spending in Adwords for a single click from this keyword obviously the higher the suggested bid the more valuable that keyword is another simple way to size a commercial intent is to see how many AdWords ads appear when you search for your keyword in Google if you search for your keyword and see lots of AdWords ads it means that people are chomping at the bit to bring those searchers to their site ok now it's time for our last step which is to look at each keywords search volume back in the day Google would show you exact search volume numbers in the Google Keyword planner unfortunately that ship has sailed today unless you're running active AdWords campaigns they show you an extremely unhelpful search volume range so how can you see how many people search for your keywords there are two freemium tools that get the job done the first is SEM rush calm to find a keyword search volume simply type the keyword in to SEM rush and they'll show you how many searches that keyword gets every month simple you can also use kW finder calm again just pop your keyword into the tool and you'll see the exact amount of searches that it gets every month now before we decide on a keyword I recommend one last bonus step now this step is completely optional but in my experience it helps you find the absolute best keywords for your business and that step is to look at your keywords growth in Google Trends for example let's say that you found two keywords that have similar search volume and commercial intent and you don't know which one to pick but when you look at Google Trends you notice that one keyword is growing in popularity and the other is dropping like a stone obviously you'd want to go with the keyword that's growing a couple of years ago this step saved my butt I was debating whether to target one of two keywords Google Keyword tool or Google Keyword planner you see Google had recently renamed the Google Keyword tool the Google Keyword planner but the keyword Google Keyword tool still got 20 times more searches than Google Keyword planner so I almost pulled the trigger on Google Keyword tool that is until I looked at Google Trends that's when I noticed that searches for the Google Keyword planner were skyrocketing while searches for the Google Keyword tool were steadily dropping so I decided to go with the Google Keyword planner and it was a good move I now rank in the top five for that keyword and it's a keyword that's growing in popularity every day ok so that's all there is to my five-step keyword research blueprint if you follow the blueprint you should have a handful of excellent keywords that you can use and once you have those it's a matter of creating landing pages and content optimize around those terms if you liked this video make sure to subscribe to my youtube channel right now it's easy just click on the subscribe button right here also if you want exclusive SEO techniques that I only share with subscribers head over to backlinko comm and sign up for the newsletter it's free now I want to turn it over to you which steps from this video was new to you or maybe you try them all already if so you probably have a favorite technique that works well for you either way let me know by leaving a quick comment right now okay let's do it I should just need to do that if oh man I can't this is a tough one good I gonna move around more in-depth ok dunsky 12 more words

#google keyword planner #how to do keyword research #keyword research #seo

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heartlikethunder · 8 years ago

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The Art of Healing - My Personal Initiatives to Face my Depression

I’m 22 and I have severe clinical depression as a result of many things including poor relations with my parents, school, and of course, the current political climate. I’m a pre-med and I have lots of things I want to accomplish. All of my relationships around me are becoming toxic because I keep poisoning them. And most importantly, I don’t like the person I’m starting to become. I don’t want to discuss in too much detail as to what has brought me to this point in my life, but I do want to talk about a few initiatives I’ve taken to bring me to a happier place.

A little bit about me briefly – I graduate from college with a BS in Microbiology. I don’t have a job right now because I’m taking some time off to (try) studying for the MCAT. I live at home with my parents and used to commute from my house to school. I didn’t get my license until last year – I was 21 – and even then my mom continued to drive me to and from places. Finally I don’t have many friends. Most of the people I have met are in relationships and thus their significant other is all they need or they try to push them onto their friends as well or they are interested in drinking and partying – again, not of my interest. I’ve been forced into an environment which is very isolated from the rest of the world. I spend a lot of my time in my room with little to no conversation with anyone. I’m lonely. And my goals are so far away I don’t feel like I’ve gotten closer to any of them.

Hence, I’ve started a few initiatives to help me overcome this moment in my life:

Drinking a lot of water. Water is a great healing agent and I drink many cups throughout the day – it completely revitalizes me. Avoid juice and sugary/oily foods. Keep things light and clean. Eat smaller portion sizes too to not feel “overstuffed,” which will help you to become more active and it’s easier to move around with none of that food slowing you down or jostling around in your belly.

Sleeping on time. Sleep is the foundation to easing MANY mental health related diseases or illnesses. Sleep by 10PM and try to wake up around 9AM. Don’t forget to turn you phone on silent. I have an amazing Do Not Disturb feature on my iPhone which I can set up to activate automatically during a time frame. For me I have it turn on at 7PM and shut off around 10AM/11AM. I have a really hard time going to bed because I keep thinking that I didn’t do anything today, I didn’t accomplish anything, and I dread what tomorrow will bring. You need to stop this. Some of your worst thoughts come in the darkest hours of the day. Plus the next morning when I wake up my head is pounding and aching and my eyes are puffy, sore, and bloodshot. I can barely sit straight I’m so exhausted and I become very sluggish.

PURGE. I have some much stuff I’ve accumulated that it’s literally falling all over me, all around me. My drawers are overstuffed, my craft supplies are spread out over 3 rooms, I have so many books in our “extra room,” etc. Minimalism can be very freeing and you can focus on items that you really love. I try to take the time every couple of days to purge items that I no longer love nor enjoy. I also try to organize everything so it has a proper space (a LOT of it is very unorganized) that is easy to get to and easy to put back and I try to clean my room/house. I’m definitely a stress cleaner and I love the look and smell of a clean living space.

There is a reason that your mental health has started to suffer. This can be any memory or moment in your life. It’s important for you to find those memories, address them, and start picking them apart in a positive light so you can heal. One of the things I like to do when I’m emotionally overwhelmed by something in my life is talk to myself about it and my feelings or to write down my feelings. I just leave it on my PC or in my notebook and every once in a while I will come across it and I’ll snort at just how silly I was for being so upset about something that really wasn’t that big of a deal. You can also write letters to someone else (maybe someone you feel that has wronged you or that you have wronged to help you move on). If you don’t feel comfortable talking to yourself you can also discuss your problems with a friend or a mentor (like a therapist or counselor). However, I would tread lightly with sharing with friends, because you’ll find that many of them don’t know how to “handle” your depression or some of them will leverage that information against you. They might not understand what you’re saying and they might also give you some very unhelpful advice. I’m not saying all people are like that – there are those who are better than that and their blood runs as thick as yours, but you have to be careful. You’re already in a fragile state – don’t let someone else break you into more.

I like to keep my mind busy. When I read or learn something new my brain comes alive. I like to study and learn new science, I really love to read but lately have not had the time (I’m trying to put all my energy towards MCAT studying but after I finish studying I do have a list of books I plan on reading), and I read a lot of fanfiction and pick apart the stories. I like to look at the different skills the author used to get their point across. The stories are usually shorter than a full length novel. And overall they’re intriguing and fun. Personally I read mostly Harry Potter fics (especially Drarry), but I have also read some really incredible stories in other fandoms such as Lord of the Rings, Teen Wolf (Sterek) Transformers, Teen Titans, BBC Sherlock, The Hobbit, etc. Let me know if you’d like me to share a few fic recs. Also manga – some of it is very beautiful and engaging. You can easily find translations online and flip through a couple of chapters to unwind while looking at the art.

Avoid a lot of TV. I know that a lot of my recent changes and dullness has come from all the TV rotting my brain. I’m going to lump in movies, anime, and Youtube into this as well. TV now a days is complete garbage. There is such terrible acting (while I do participate in the Teen Wolf fandom, I absolutely hate the actual TV show. There are many great actors but I don’t feel like the writing of the series gives them a chance to really blossom. My favorite is Dylan O’brien as Stiles, but lately as he has picked up new projects, I’ve noticed a change in his on-screen TV performance), horrifying plots WITH SO MANY PLOT HOLES, and the writing is just bad with multiple innuendos and profanities thrown in to make it more modern and cool. I’m also tired of the love triangles (The Shannara Chronicles made me want to cry), the poor representation of people of color, lack of depth and character development, etc. TV is just complete shit. And there are WAAAAY too many seasons of shows that should have been put to rest. I’ve mostly enjoyed Shameless (lots of great plots and subplots with tons of great character development) though that has started to wane a bit as I find some of the characters’ stories dragging and How to Get Away with Murder. I’ll occasionally watch an episode of another show here or there, but honestly, it’s all garbage. Instead take that time to read or do something else. I like movies – I mostly watch Disney – but I have noticed that when I’m bored and upset I just sit there eating and rewatching old films. While there isn’t anything wrong with that, doing that every day is going to eat away at your mental health. I feel the same way I do about anime as I do about TV shows. A lot of it is empty and honestly the classics were so much better like Fruits Basket. Finally, YouTube is an amazing community. There is so much to learn and discover on this platform. I follow a lot of channels including cooking, baking, gardening, fashion, beauty, etc. I also follow a lot of fashion/beauty bloggers. Here’s my opinion – don’t do it. A lot of them treat YouTube and their blogs as businesses. They get sent a lot of stuff for free. They’re always trying new stuff. That is their job. And realistically speaking, you cannot go out every time they rave about a new product, just because they deem it to be the best thing on the planet when you’re still in the middle of finishing your current one or already have a significant collection. Don’t do it. Also, stop watching them. They's a lot of rambling and talking about nonsense for the most part. A lot of them have very empty conversations and chatter that it’s tough to follow. Makeup doesn’t even look that great on me, and I’d never drop $100 on some silly foundation - I certainly don’t need to be watching 10 different videos on how to apply eyeshadow. I understand for many people they watch or continue to watch because it’s fun and they enjoy it. And if that is you then great, go for it – in moderation of course. However, I will say, always keep it in the back of your mind that eventually this might turn into an obsession if day in and day out this is all you’re “seeing.” Youtubers can really twist your views of the real world. I for one can personally attest to that. I have a very strong and wise head on my shoulders. I can pick up discreet social cues/messages hidden in the media and scoff at them - I’m alert and observant. But when I watch Youtubers and see many of them showcasing the same things and lifestyles repetitively, I immediately begin to think this is the way it is for many if not all girls on the planet. Suddenly spending $1000 on a Chanel bag is normal – a necessity to blossom into womanhood. Don’t forget, there are people out there scraping to make ends meet. There are plenty, if not MORE, people in the world that are living comfortable lifestyles not filled with materialistic things and spending their money wisely. Just be smart and don’t let their channels twist your perception of the world. If anyone is interested I’ll be happy to share some of the blogs I follow for outfit inspirations (I mostly just glance at the pics and never am overly obsessed with getting the same things they have on – other than Extrapetitie.com because her picks are wonderful and reasonably priced). I also find less Youtube, the less shopping I do, and less of purchasing frivolous things. On the same note when you do go shopping, tune into your inner feelings and ask yourself is this something you need and then ask yourself if you really want it. Don’t settle. Pick things that you look great in and boost your self esteem. I’m overweight and I’m also short. Aside from my stomach sticking out and having thick thighs, I also have very thick upper arms. A lot of stuff that might look great on my sister and mother (who are both a lot taller and thinner), look completely terrible on me. I always give in and get them in the end because my mother emotionally blackmails me into it, but I don’t enjoy wearing them and they make me feel like shit. I’ve recently acquired a few new pieces that I think are much better suited for myself and will be wearing those from now on. If you dress well, and you feel good in what you’re wearing, and if you look good, you’ll feel good.

Take walks – nature can unwind you. I walk a round around my neighborhood. I think all together it is roughly 1.2 miles? There is also a very small park with a swingset in the middle that I like to stop at and swing away till my heart is content. This is when I listen to the new music I’ve discovered and come up with story ideas. Try to hit the gym. Sweat out the negativity in your life and I promise you, not only will your brain feel better, but you’ll physically look and feel a lot better too. Just get out of the house. This is a bit trickier for me because of my poor driving skills and my parents don’t let me go out much. When I do go out it’s mostly for groceries. I don’t enjoy eating out that much, but going out to eat a small something at a restaurant can be a very relaxing experience. Don’t feel like you HAVE to go with someone or that you have HAVE to eat a heavy/full meal. A lot of restaurants also have great rewards programs or newsletters you can sign up for to help you save on costs if you are in a financial pinch. Olive Garden always seems to be bringing around their famous pasta deal and fast food places such as Baskin Robbins have great promotions such as on the 31st of the month, each scoop of ice cream is $1.31. It’s not a bad deal for a casual outing to treat yo self and freshen up. The general consensus is to take care of yourself and relax. Something I do on my personal time is give myself a skincare treatment at night - a lovely facial with a facial massage, masks, etc.

I love to write but I haven’t written in forever and I don’t have a lot of unique ideas/prompts. I do have one novelesque fanfic idea that I’m really excited and crazy about. I’m slowly and diligently writing it, but I still want to keep improving my writing and brush up on my writing skills during the in between. I suggest finding a fandom that you love – and if you can’t I highly recommend the Harry Potter fandom, because it’s huge and there are so many more opportunities here than other fandoms in my personal opinion – and write prompts and challenges. There are a ton of communities dedicated to prompts, challenges, gift exchanges, fic fests, etc. If you’re interested let me know – I have a huge list of some popular Harry Potter fests and such. Also, join and follow users who are active in the fandom as they too will sometimes offer opportunities to join networks or challenges they have created. There is a user who has created a drarry valentine’s fic exchange which is so cute and I recently started nooreva’s trope bingo for femslash february. I’ve also claimed a fic prompt from HP kink fest. They’re not too time sensitive, and there is enough direction to help me from feeling lost, but still enough room for creativity to explore my writing. Let me know if you’d like any writing advice as well. I’m thinking of trying to get back into poetry while I’m here.

I picked up some “pen pals.” It’s very new to me and I’m incredibly nervous. Snailmail revolution is huge right now, where people all over the world send attractive letters to one another and with it small goodies such as stickers, stationary, etc. I found a few people through Tumblr and Instagram for now. I have no idea how this is going to go because I don’t have money to be buying cute stationary and gifts – I’m already going to be spending a decent bit on stamps because I have picked up A LOT of pen pals to keep me busy – but I’m trying to keep on a positive note. It’s honestly very fun to get personal mail and to peek in and see all the lovely things people might have sent. I have written one letter so far and I did a lot of doodling, homemade stickers, and printing. I’ll keep you all posted on my experience as other letters start to come in. There is also a group that is focused on craftier snailmail that I’m a member of. It’s called pretty postal swap and I LOVE it. They have a theme every month and you exchange letters with other members based on that theme. Of course the goal is to be crafty so it’s a bit of a mix of scrapbooking and cardmaking. It’s a lot of fun. Some of the pics I have seen do appear to be a bit more upscale than what I can commit to right now, but I’m hoping it will go well. This is my first month trying it and the theme is an icy cold snowy envelope, with a warm and cozy card inside. I decided to create a simple snowy backdrop on my envelope with a shadow of a row of houses. For the cozy interior I made a homemade card with a sketch of an image on the front that I colored with colored pencils, I printed out some journaling cards of polar bears and some cute sweater designs, I printed some teacups which I colored with colored pencils and made them into homemade stickers which I placed into envelopes made from this gorgeous teal birdie wrapping paper, I’m going to be throwing in a bag of berry tea, and finally, I made a simple tag of a polar bear wearing a sweater. The final result is obviously homemade and I’m not sure what the group is going to think of it, but I have my fingers crossed and I put in a lot of time and effort into my final product. I also am a huge lover of scrapbooking and cardmaking, and while I do get a hefty fix of it via my snailmail art, there are tons of swaps and swap groups you can join as well. You can swap pocket letters, tags, tag books, embellishments, etc. I applied to join one but I cannot seem to recall the name or find the original sign up page. I believe they will be emailing me to confirm if I’ve been accepted but not sure about this one yet. If you’re curious to see what snailmailrevolution is I highly suggest looking up the #snailmailrevolution on instragram. If anyone wants to check out some youtube videos on the idea and what some of the packages look like in greater depth, let me know and I can share some links.

Finally I’ve also really gotten into doodling. I’m a terrible artist – my proportions are all over the place, but I’ve found myself enjoying following along with youtube doodlers and then sitting down and coloring them in. I’ve done quite a few already for my pen pal letters and would be happy to share some of the channels I follow for help and inspiration. To help me explore this new interest, I’ve joined the #doodlewithus challenge on instagram hosted by @alexandra_plans and @christina77star. Basically every month there is a daily challenge with an overall theme of what you should try to draw that day. For February the theme is space and every day we will be drawing a specific planet, space ships, rockets, etc. it’s so lovely and takes hardly any time. I highly recommend joining in the fun.

Volunteer - give your time to someone else. Focus on becoming humble. Look at the life people are living around you and learn to appreciate what you have. I personally work at a nonprofit clinic on some Sundays where I work in patient discharge in filing and scanning in patient records into the charting software. Personally I would prefer something more rewarding, but it’s very flexible and such an easy commitment. Turn your negatives in to positives. Give daily affirmations a try. I tried it myself but it was a little awkward and uncomfortable giving myself pep talks. However it is still a very powerful tool and I would recommend it. You could also try daily thanks and make a list of what you’re thankful for which is something a little more up my alley.

So those are some new things I’m going to be trying out. I’ll give you an update in a few weeks after getting some responses and testing things out. It seems like a lot of stuff and in hindsight it is, but I think this is a great way to fill in some of those quiet hours in between my studying. This is by no means a definitive list. There are clearly some things I need to be work on or have in my life that I haven’t addressed in my list such as actual in person human contact, but it’s just not possible for me at this time. I also know a lot of people will redirect my in getting a job, but the MCAT is a beast, and if I can have the time to study for it distraction free and comfortably, with only that exam in mind, I’ll gladly take it. Some of these things might not work for you at all, this will not CURE you by any means, but it’s a start and hopefully will give you some new ideas to try and to expand your horizon. In the future I would like to get back into watercoloring, take swimming lessons and learn to properly swim (I finished up to level 4 or 5 – I stopped just short of the actual swimming part because I had trouble keeping my form), try a pottery class (I took a one day workshop at my school and it was amazing and frustrating. I would really love to go back and learn how to throw on the wheel properly), and maybe join a bookclub.

#depression #healing #mental health

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sempiternalsandpitturtle · 5 years ago

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Push notifications marketing: How to extend your content’s reach

You created some fabulous content – even if you do say so yourself. But how can you ensure other people see it? Texting your parents and friends can only get you so many views. (Don’t worry, we’ve all done it.)

This is, of course, where your distribution strategy proves its worth. You send out emails, share social posts and maybe still text your friends. There’s one more tactic you can use to extend your content reach and it’s none other than the notifications and alerts you see on your smartphone and internet browser every day.

Formally known as push notifications, these messages can provide an extra nudge, serving as another valuable point of contact with your audience.

Remind me: What are push notifications?

In a way, push notifications are a reminder. They pop up on our devices, notifying us of news, updates and other tidbits of information. When they successfully get our attention, we follow them to the app or website they originally came from.

While we’re all used to app notifications appearing on our smartphone lock screens, they also come in the form of website push notifications – which is good news for marketers because it saves them developing an app just to enable a push notifications marketing strategy. Much like email, browser push notifications are a great way to get content in front of readers with little to no barriers.

Now that we’re all envisioning the same notifications, let’s talk about why and how you should work them into your content distribution strategy.

Why use push notifications?

There is one defining reason marketers send push notifications to users: They provide another outlet for brands to have conversations with their target audience.

This touchpoint can have a variety of positive outcomes, including an increase in customer engagement. These users are beyond the awareness stage, considering they had to visit your site or app to sign up for notifications in the first place. Research from the Kahuna Mobile Marketing Index proves that response rates are more than promising, with an average opt-in rate for push notifications of 62 percent.

The pop-up messages remind users that your brand exists and ideally give them a reason to return to your site or app – effective immediately. They’re the perfect marketing tool for nudging customers to come back, reaching them even when they aren’t on your site or app. Did they leave an item in their cart last time they browsed your site? No worries, you can bring it to their attention before you lose them to the highly unfortunate cart abandonment.

When engaging, timely, relevant and accurate, push notifications can also increase customer retention because you’re reminding them before they drop off and lose interest altogether. The Kahuna report revealed that well-executed messaging campaigns can even triple 90-day retention rates.

If that’s not enough to convince you, consider this: Your competitors are probably using push notifications. If they’re not, you should get on it before they do. The harsh reality is that your brand relevance and competitive edge could be at stake if you don’t integrate push notifications into your digital marketing strategy.

When done well, push notifications marketing helps you deliver value to your customers. Your reward? More user engagement, customer loyalty and sales.

How can marketers use push notifications?

Before you start sending push notifications, consider the types of messages best suited to your audience and product offering. Some to consider include:

The welcome message: Much like the first email you send users after signing up for your newsletter, these push notifications welcome users to the fam. These work especially well when you throw in a value-add, such as a discount code or insider secret.

The updates: Fresh content on the blog, new items in stock, food delivery on its way, shipment tracking info now available … and you get the idea.

The reminders: Encourage users to pick up where they left off, nudge them to check out content similar to the type they’ve engaged with before and so on.

The time-bound alerts: Delivered in real time, push notifications can display more urgency than the average email. Naturally, these work well for flash sales and limited time offers.

It helps to think about how other brands are already finding success with push notifications. Your favorite news outlets, for instance, alert you to breaking news and stories that you’re likely to find interesting. Netflix uses its data on customer viewing history to craft personalised alerts for its users, such as new-content announcements and top-pick recommendations.

Airlines send users push notifications when it’s time to check-in, and update travelers on flight information through pop-up messages. While the sale has already been made, this practical content provides incredible value for customers, leaving them with a positive view of the airline. It may even encourage them to book with the airline again.

Think about the push notifications that you appreciate getting on your devices, and fashion your own messages based on what you love about them.

Before you start: Know the best practices

For optimum results, send push notifications that are timely and relevant. Reading the room is also important, as you don’t want to send messages that are unhelpful, uninteresting or entirely out of context.

Build your push notifications marketing strategy with these best practices in mind:

Plan to secure the opt-ins

The choice to allow or block notifications from a website or app is entirely in the user’s hands. You won’t be able to deliver push messages unless you get permission, so be ready to pop the question.

As with any first impression, you want to get it right without overwhelming or irritating users. It’s generally a good idea to give people a chance to interact with your website or app before asking them to commit to push notifications. That way, they have time to interact with your content and see the value in signing up for the messages.

Be mindful of your phrasing, too. Make it clear that there’s value in allowing the messages, rather than straight up asking: “would you like to receive push notifications?” Instead, customise the message to your brand. For instance, a food blog may ask users: “we’d love to share more kitchen tips with you. Ready to start cooking?”

On the flipside, you also want to make it easy for users to opt out of the notifications. While you certainly don’t want to lose them, it’s still important to keep the power in their hands. No one likes being stuck in an unwanted experience, so the option to back out can actually make people feel more confident about signing up.

Make it worth their while

Remember that push notifications should provide value for users – and be anything but an annoying message they immediately ignore. Make it clear that users will get something out of interacting with your push notifications. That something should also be exclusive to those who sign up for the messages, inciting a sense of FOMO if they don’t get the push notifications.

The need for instant gratification is real, so don’t promise users one thing in the notification and lead them to something else when they click on the message. Push notifications shouldn’t just tease users to visit your site or app, but rather create an engaging, worthwhile experience.

Get personal

Use your user data to customise your messages. Think names, location, purchase history, favorite categories, recently viewed content and so on. These user preferences and behaviors are crucial for targeting your push notifications for more personal messages. You can even be direct with it, asking users what kind of notifications they would like to receive.

Trust us, your personalisation efforts won’t go to waste. A report from Leanplum revealed that personalised push notifications lead to 800 percent higher user engagement levels. Why such a gargantuan number? Well, according to the study, push notifications with personalised content receive four times the open rate of their generic counterparts.

Segment your audience

You know the drill: Generic messages won’t generate high levels of engagement. The more special you make your users feel, the better.

More than crafting personal messages, user behavior and preferences can help you target your notifications to different groups within your audience. For instance, you may send particular push notifications to those who viewed a certain product while other messages may go to those who haven’t visited your site or app in a few weeks.

Time it right

You don’t want to send notification blasts just for the sake of it. Careful planning is important for scheduling notifications that hit at the right moment. There are several factors to consider, including time zones and user engagement patterns.

Unless your data shows otherwise, it’s generally best to avoid sending a bunch of notifications at once. You don’t want to be on the fast train to annoying users – especially when trying to re-engage those who have been inactive for a while. To avoid bombarding users with too many notifications, try to limit yourself to sending no more than one per day.

While real-time analytics can help you nail down the ideal time, here’s a pro tip from push notifications software company PushCrew to get you started: After working hours is the best time to get a response, with the peak click-through rate generally landing somewhere between 5 p.m. to 7 p.m.

Get crafty with the copy

Break out your best writing for push notifications, as catchy titles and messages will get the best response from users. Short, sweet and to the point is always better, especially considering users will likely be in the middle of another task when your notification comes through. As with any marketing copy, keep your tone on brand and use strong words to inspire action.

Keep testing the options

Experiment with various types of push notifications, try different copy and test out varying times to find the optimal ways to reach your audience. Keep an eye on response rates so you know which push notifications perform the best.

Time to start notifying

Ready to add push notifications to your digital marketing campaigns? If you have coding talent in-house, you can recruit them to help you build web push notifications for your site. Otherwise, push notification creation and scheduling tools can make your life a whole lot easier. Popular options include:

PushCrew.

MaxTraffic.

PushEngage.

OneSignal.

FoxPush.

Once you start sending push notifications, you can measure their success by tracking important KPIs like subscriber counts, click-through rates, engagement and customer retention. Most push notification tools will generate these analytics for you, making it easy for you to adjust your messages and strategy accordingly.

Give it a shot and let us know how it goes!

from http://bit.ly/2KxmyFA

#content marketing

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mikebrackett · 6 years ago

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How to Write a Resume that Will Land You an Interview

When it comes to the job application process, your most important asset is your resume. It’s the employer’s first impression of you as an applicant – a summation of your educational status, professional endeavors and winning attributes laid out on just one or two pages.

It’s important for your resume to stand out and make a good impression, in hopes of receiving an invitation to an in-person interview and, ultimately, a job offer. However, even candidates with the most well-written resumes are finding it hard to make it to the in-person interview. So, what’s the hang-up?

The answer lies in Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS), automated systems designed to screen and filter resumes based on keywords and key phrases established by an employer or HR staff at a company. It’s like a search engine of the professional hiring world.

Based on factors like keywords, formatting and structure, resumes are ranked by relevancy, with the most relevant finding their way onto the screens of employers. In fact, 75% of resumes submitted for an open position are filtered out by ATS. That means the chances of your resume making it onto a human’s radar are entirely determined by the keywords and formatting.

If you’re finding it hard to make it past the initial application process, try implementing the following tips into your resume.

Copy Keywords from the Job Posting

Think about the last time you searched for something using a search engine. You likely typed in a question or phrase and were redirected to a page highlighting the 10 most relevant and applicable answers based on the wording of your question. How many of those answers did you actually click? Did you even bother to go to the second page of search results?

Think of your resume in the same sense as your most recent Google search: Employers are looking to fill a specific role in their company, so they call out the titles, skills and experiences that they’re looking for in the job description and implement them into the company ATS.

The ATS, programmed to search for these keywords, will scan a resume and determine its relevancy to the role based on the keywords and key phrases used in the resume. If the percentage is high enough, it is more likely to be reviewed by the actual employer or hiring staff, who might reach out to the applicant directly.

That’s why it’s important to use the exact language of the job description in your resume. For example, if your current or previous title was “banker” and you’re applying to a mortgage company in search of a “loan officer,” use the language of the job description in your resume, in order to be ranked higher by the ATS. More often than not, if the employer uses specific titles, skills and experiences required for the position, they will program these keywords into the ATS.

“You need to optimize your resume to speak the language of the company and position,” explained Justin Mendoza, team member of the HR recruiting team at Quicken Loans, and team leader of the Veteran Hiring Program. “If you got a degree in Marketing and then participated in a marketing project for a nonprofit, the keyword ‘Marketing’ will come up repeatedly in the ATS and will be ranked higher for relevancy.”

Here’s the kicker: Don’t go overboard with keywords. Remember, quality over quantity. Try incorporating two to three powerful keywords and phrases in your resume, as too many will raise a red flag in the ATS.

Keep Formatting Simple

Let’s stick with the search engine metaphor to talk about formatting. Let’s say you searched for “easy Thanksgiving turkey recipes.” You’re redirected to the top answers and click on the first answer that amazingly reads “easy Thanksgiving turkey recipes.”

However, upon reading the result, you discover that the author had spent the first two pages of the article talking about their favorite Thanksgiving memories and meals, including pictures of their last holiday family gathering, with the actual recipe (the content you had searched for) all the way down at the bottom.

Did your search result include your keywords “easy,” “Thanksgiving,” “turkey” and “recipe”? Yes. However, the general content and structure of the article, along with the addition of images not related to the recipe, was irrelevant and unhelpful in your search.

The same goes for the way an ATS reads your resume. Special formatting and artistic additions cannot be read by ATS and, consequently, ranks these resumes lower or irrelevant in regard to the position description. This includes:

Tables

Charts

Graphs

Images

Columns

Non-traditional fonts (anything other than Arial, Verdana and Times New Roman)

Instead of taking up valuable resume real estate by using images, graphics and fonts that an ATS can’t read and rank, type your resume content in either short, keyword-optimized sentences or clear bullet points.

“Formatting makes your resume readable,” explained Mendoza. “Having a clear and concise resume helps a candidate stand out in the hiring process, especially since recruiters and hiring managers tend to spend very little time reading resumes.”

Include the most relevant and applicable information for the position at the top of your resume and highlight your industry strengths and competencies, degrees, job titles products and organizations, utilizing the language of the keywords found in the job description.

Additionally, use traditional language for your section headings. As it does with keywords and phrases, an ATS will read your resume’s headings then rank them relevant to how the job description is worded.

Traditional, conventional headings include:

Qualifications

Professional Experience

Education

Skills

Summary

For example, when you’re calling out your specific skills that are applicable to the job description, use a header that clearly reads “skills.” Using words like “abilities” or “competencies,” though similar in meaning, might not be recognized by an ATS.

Ditch the Career Objective Section

This isn’t your high school or college career writing class, and the days of the career objective section are over. We hate to break it to you, but they’re a waste of valuable resume space.

Traditionally, the section for the career objective, located at the top of your resume, was reserved for an explanation of what you were looking for, which was essentially a job. You were instructed to use phrases like “seeking an entry-level position” while you applied for an entry-level position. In other words, it was a given.

Instead of wasting the prime real estate space that is the top of your resume, use that space to include a summary – two to three sentences or bullet points filled with ATS-optimized keywords that highlight your top achievements, major skills and relevant experiences.

A powerful formula to implement into this section: an action verb + keyword + a fact or figure that resulted from your action = an optimized resume for ATS.

This section should be tailored to the job you’re applying for and should change based on what each position highlights in the job description. However, if you keep this formula in mind, constructing a powerful and optimized resume should be as easy as switching out specific keywords.

While we’re talking about the top of your resume, it’s also important to structure your experience in a clear and ATS-friendly way.

Each experience you choose to highlight in your resume, keeping in mind that you only want to include what’s relevant to the position you’re applying for, should look like this:

Company name (include dates or timeline)

Position title (keyword)

Description of work (keywords and key phrases)

Once again, make sure the position title and description match the keywords called out in the job description, keeping in mind that using two to three keywords should rank well with the ATS.

Have a Second Resume Ready for the Interview

To reiterate, simplicity is key when optimizing your resume for an ATS. Clean and purposeful keywords and formatting are more likely to be read and ranked to be relevant by an ATS than personalized graphics and unique fonts.

However, if you’re feeling like you’re losing your individuality in your resume, you can write a second, more personalized and unique resume for an in-person interview. The interview is your time to show what traits set you apart as an applicant, so feel free to reflect that in your second resume.

Because it’s being read by human eye and not an ATS, this version of your resume can include special formatting that highlight your skills and might make your resume stand out in the crowd. Don’t forget to include your contact information at the very top of the resume, clearly labeling your phone and email.

Be prepared to bring copies of both your ATS-optimized resume and customized resume for every person present in the interview.

By implementing these tips, you’re more likely to make it past the employer’s ATS filter and land an in-person interview with the hiring employer.

“Resumes are an essential piece of the job-hunting puzzle,” said Mendoza. “Take the next step by networking with recruiters, hiring managers and current employees.”

At Quicken Loans, we humanize the recruiting process by calling every applicant.

“We use the same mentality of our culture ‘Every client. Every time. No exceptions. No excuses.’” explained Mendoza. “We go above and beyond in recruiting by calling every applicant. A paper doesn’t tell me who you are as a person; it just highlights your career. We want to see how you fit into our culture. Calling every applicant is just one way we humanize the process.”

Do you have any tips about writing an ATS-optimized resume? Let us know in the comments below!

The post How to Write a Resume that Will Land You an Interview appeared first on ZING Blog by Quicken Loans.

from Updates About Loans https://www.quickenloans.com/blog/write-resume-will-land-interview

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