#but rae i can hear you say you didn't include THE kiss

[iguessitsjustme]

3 Will Be Free - Circus

Last July I said I would let people choose the next video edit I made and here it is! Thank you for your patience as the polls said I had to make this drunk and I do not drink that often. But I hope everyone enjoys this drunken mess of a video.

[rinsoap]

˚ ༘ ♡⋆｡˚ ﾐ the big seijoh four's favourite artists!

✿²˖ ࣪ ➣ includes : oikawa tooru, iwaizumi hajime, matsukawa issei + hanamaki takahiro

note : sorry ive been inactive as hell w actual hcs or like. real works LMAOO i have been #depressed and #unmotivated LoL! anyways pls tell me u can see suna's influence on iwaizumi i hc that they r friends <33

oikawa tooru :

!!? KALI UCHIS STAN NEVER SPEAK 2 ME AGAIN. he LOVESSS her he is completely convinced isolation was specifically made to cater to him and his exact music taste delusional king fr!! and he gatekeeps her SO HARD like babes as much as i would like to be her top listener too, the 21,158,866 monthly listeners seem like they might be hard to beat 🤔

his favourite songs by kali uchis are :

tyrant - ft. jorgia smith on the isolation album.

i wish you roses (single).

loner on the por vida album.

!!? this artist is not a guilty pleasure no matter how many times he says he's sooo embarrassed he likes carly rae jepson. "omg stop don't tell people i like her that's humiliating omg stop i don't want people to know!!!!!!" he is a LIAR. he will publicly scream every single lyric to every single song she makes, IN FACT he will shamefully make tiktoks on public buses and shit, lip syncing to her songs on full volume (or at least he would if literally all of seijoh didn't tell him to shut the fuck up LMAO)

his favourite songs by carly rae jepson are :

call me maybe on the kiss album.

boy problems on the E•MO•TION album.

felt this way on the dedicated side b album.

!!? —✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : good days by SZA. heart to heart by mac de marco. oh no! by marina and the diamonds. conceited by flo milli.

iwaizumi hajime :

!!? UGH ANOTHER AMAZING PERFECT TYLER THE CREATOR STAN. OOH I WANNA KISS ALL TYLER FANS ON THE HEAD I FREQUENTLY MAKE OUT W EVERY TYLER FAN EVER!! he's a very loyal listener, he knew him on vine bro like i said in pt 1, he introduced him to suna (while suna takes all the credit lol) he might even have a slight... fixation.. one might call it a.... crush.... but he will never admit it his ego is too big!!

his favourite songs by tyler the creator are :

A BOY IS A GUN on the IGOR album.

garden shed - ft. estelle on the flower boy album.

SWEET / I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO DANCE - ft. brent faiyaz and fana hues on the CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST album.

!!? is it controversial to say he fucks w ice spice.. almost a little too much... he knows all the lyrics to munch which is def something he has in common with oikawa's music taste!!! like at this point they're like pavlov's dog, they are absolutely salivating every single time they hear "stop playin with em riot!"

his favourite songs by ice spice are :

bikini bottom (single).

princess diana on the like..? EP.

in ha mood (single).

!!?—✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : she likes another boy by oscar lang. attention by new jeans. just a stranger by kali uchis and steve lacy. NASA by ariana grande.

matsukawa issei :

!!? unlike iwaizumi, he will admit his huge crush on brent faiyaz with his ENTIRE CHEST. brent faiyaz his love, his one and only (i am projecting!) <3 most of the content he consumes is brent faiyaz related tbh the algorithm knows him too well and before you ask the burning question on your mind, YES he did almost start a stan twitter in year one!!! makki will never let him live it down as if he didn't ACTUALLY start one for bruno mars..

his favourite songs by brent faiyaz are :

ADDICTIONS on the WASTELAND album.

what you heard (single) by sonder - technically still brent faiyaz.

talk 2 u on the sonder son album.

!!? he really should be ashamed he likes drake tbh. he physically could not compell himself to show anybody his spotify wrapped because almost all drake songs were in his top played. please never ever speak to him about the time he genuinely ugly cried to one dance. he will never elaborate and will probably go and sob to god's plan next.

his favourite songs by drake are :

way 2 sexy - ft. future and young thug on the certified lover boy album.

9 on the views album.

circo loco on the her loss album.

!!?—✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : love is only a feeling by joey bada$$. small worlds by mac miller. awkward by SZA. finesse (remix) by bruno mars and cardi b.

hanamaki takahiro :

!!? ACTIVELY PUSHING THE MAKKI BRUNO MARS AGENDA!! fuck an evening with silk sonic he wants an evening with bruno 😭 all he is doing every day all day is praying bruno gets his heart broken again so he can drop another DELECTIBLE album!!!!! also him and iwa like to say that since makki is puerto rican and iwa is filipino, together they make one bruno mars <333 (this is a hc dont take it too srsly lol)

his favourite songs by bruno mars are :

that's what i like on the 24k magic album.

treasure on the unorthodox jukebox album.

after last night (with thunder cats & bootsy collins) on the an evening with silk sonic album.

!!? he is a dork and i am a dork soooo i'm gonna have to say he is a the living tombstone stan.... oikawa will go on full rants about how cringey 2020 was and how weird that video game animatronic type music is and he'll look over at makki and see the single tear roll down his face as he says he has no idea the music genre he's talking about 😭

his favourite songs by the living tombstone are :

my ordinary life (single).

drunk on the zero_one album.

jump up, super star! (single).

!!?—✩⌗ HONORABLE SONG MENTIONS : new person, same old mistakes by tame impala. your teeth in my neck by kali uchis. join us for a bite by JT music. ORANGE SODA by baby keem.

[eyes-of-rock]

When Your Walls Come Down

( Eric Carr X OC)

Word count: 2600

Summary: Rae is a shy music journalist who’s never stood out in a crowd and prefers it that way, but a chance meeting with a certain fox might change all of that.

I worked really hard on this am I'm very proud of it so I hope you all like it and read it! ♥︎

I don't consider myself anything special. In fact, in most rooms, I'm the invisible one. The one that no one pays any attention to. That's perfectly fine with me. I prefer to keep to myself because I'm deathly shy.

As much as I love rock and metal, I could never play an instrument or be a groupie. My stage fright and general shyness would prevent me. Instead, I'm okay with being an observer in the crowd. That's why I only write music reviews for the magazine and don't bother fighting to get interviews with actual rock stars. I know I could never handle it. I'm perfectly fine doing my more solitary work.

“Rae, ready to go?” Dana, my roommate and concert buddy, says, popping her blonde head into my room.

“Yup,” I say, grabbing my purse and slinging it over my shoulder.

“Really?” Dana says, giving me a once-over; she's not convinced.

“What?” I ask, looking myself up and down. Am I missing a stain or something?

“You can't wear that to a Kiss concert!” Dana says, pushing me back into my room.

“Why not?” I ask, confused.

Since when can't a girl wear ripped jeans, a kiss t-shirt, leather jacket and cowboy boots to a concert?

It's not her red leather mini skirt and leather top to match with leather-heeled boots, but it's not a bad look. I'm not like her anyway. She's a blonde knockout with a perfect body. I'm a lacklustre redhead.

“We’re front row!” She says appalled. “Don’t you want them to notice you?”

Truthfully? No. I didn't want anyone to notice me. I want to enjoy the show up close. I wouldn't even know how to react or what to say if they did.

“No, I’ll let you get the attention,” I admit to her; I'm fine. I dont need it.

“Fine, but if I get backstage, I'm taking you with me.” She warns me.

Hearing that makes my heart race a bit. God, I wouldn't know what to do. I'd be awkward, ruin the vibe, and look like an idiot.

“Please don't.” I plead with her, “You don't want me making things weird.”

“You need to have some fun, Rae.” Dana sighs, “Come on, you're young and beautiful.”

If only that were true.

“Come on.” I say, opening our door and changing the subject, “I don't want to be late.”

“Fine.” She sighs, rolling her eyes as she follows me out.

———————————————

As the show ends, all four band members stand at the edge of the stage. Naturally, everyone around me is doing everything possible to get their attention. That includes Dana, of course. She's not trying to get anyone in particular. I know this because I know Dana. I've been to many shows with her; she's happy to get attention from anyone.

I, on the other hand, would rather disappear into the crowd. I actively try not to make eye contact despite them being right there. I'm looking at every place but the stage.

I watch as Paul Stanley hands a guitar pick right into Dana’s hand. Dana gives him a flirtatious smile. Please don't take her backstage—the memory of the threat she made earlier coming back. My anxiety is suddenly rising.

I'm not thinking straight because of that, and I make the mistake of looking up onto the stage. As I do so, I lock eyes with Eric Carr, the drummer.

Shit.

Before I can quickly look away, he smiles at me. Of course, once that happens, I know it would not be pleasant to look away. Of course, I can't make myself smile back because my anxiety is preventing me from thinking straight, and I'm slightly panicking.

He’s Eric Carr. The drummer of KISS is looking at me. I’m not used to anyone looking at me, let alone someone like him.

My heart is beating faster now. God, he's going to think of the rudest person ever. This is why you don't look up on stage, Rae.

He squats down and reaches out to me with one of his drumsticks. I've never gotten a drumstick or a pick at a show. Usually, like I said, I blend into the crowd so no one notices me, and when a pick is thrown out, I'm not about to fight over it.

I graciously take it. This time, I managed a shakey to smile at him to say thanks. Then, once it sinks in, I freak out and look away because it's me.

Oh my god. Eric Carr just gave me a drumstick. I know it means nothing; I'm in the front row at this concert. Plus, I weirdly made eye contact with him, and he probably felt he had to.

I look over to where Dana is standing. She's now somehow holding a backstage pass. How did that happen within the minute I wasn't paying attention?

Please, please, please don't have one for me. The drumstick incident was enough excitement for me, and I still haven't fully recovered from it. I'm even more scared to look on stage in case it happens again.

She turns to me with a big grin on her face. She flashes me the passes, and there are two of them.

Shit. The panic rises in my chest. I don't know what to do backstage with a band! What happens if I run into Eric? Oh my god. What do I even say after that? I suddenly regret ever coming to this concert with Dana.

——————————————————

I managed to sneak off before anyone noticed. Ideally, I'd like to leave, but I can't because I’m too nice and can't just leave Dana here. So, Instead, I search for a quiet spot.

I find a quiet corner and sit with my back against the way. I let out a sigh, not realizing I was holding in. I reach into my bag and pull out my notepad and a pen. I need to make some quick notes for my review tomorrow. I always do this right after a concert; it's still fresh, and I don't forget.

Yes, I'm lame. I'm sitting alone in the corner, writing backstage at a KISS show. I'm fully aware. I'd rather it be this way. I feel bad, though; this backstage pass should have been given to someone who’d used it correctly.

I pause as I hear hushed voices coming towards me. Hopefully, whoever it is won’t notice me. At least, that's what I'm praying for.

No such luck. Into view down the hall come Eric Carr and Bruce Kulick. Fuck. Eric is the last person I want to see.

Not that I don't think he's a brilliant drummer. No, I happen to love his drumming. I also happen to think he's cute and seems like a sweet person.

It's just the whole drumstick thing from earlier. I don't know what to say. Well, I do. I don't know if my anxiety will let me say it. I’m shy and hate interacting with people because I freak out. Then, they lose all ability to act normally or form words.

“Bruce, this is-” Eric stops once he spots me.

“Oh, hello.”

“I told you,” Bruce says, giving Eric an I told you so look, clearly referring to an earlier conversation.

You can do this, Rae. I remind myself. They’re just people. Not that I'm good with any people. Stop overthinking. I take a deep breath. Trying and failing to calm the panic I feel rising in my chest.

“Hello.” I manage to reply with a shaky voice. God, I sound like an idiot.

“You should know you might be here awhile,” Eric informs me, “I just saw your blonde friend making out with Paul.”

Ugh. I mean, it's good for Dana but not good for me. Now I'm stuck waiting until Dana remembers me, comes and tells me what's up, and before I can leave. I don't want to leave her behind. It's our policy.

“Oh…guess I have to wait then,” I reply like an idiot as if he couldn't figure that out.

“I can wait with you if you want.” Eric offers with a friendly smile.

“Oh…ah…you don't have to.” I manage to stutter out it's lovely of him to offer, but for one, I'm sure he has better things to do than spend time with me. And I have no idea how I'm managing to make this much conversation, let alone the hours it could take for Dana to find me.

“I have no problem keeping a pretty girl like you

company,” Eric compliments me, shooting me a charming yet sweet smile. Everything this man does is cute.

I swear my heart stops for a second. Did Eric Carr of KISS call me pretty? No. No way he did. I mean, no one has ever really called me pretty. No one even notices me, let alone someone like him.

I’d even think his tone was slightly flirtatious if I didn't know better. There is no way, though. After all, he could have any girl in that audience, hell, any girl in the world. Why would he want me? He's just being nice, Rae; it doesn't mean anything.

“Thank you,” I reply, giving him a small smile. I'm proud of myself for even being able to do that. After all, I'm freaking out inside.

“What are you writing?” Eric asks, peaking around to get a look at the page.

“I’m a journalist; I do music and concert reviews,” I tell him, gently shutting the book.

“Hopefully, you write about how amazing that drum solo was.” He teases, “And how sexy the drummer is.”

I was going to write about the drum solo and how I did think it was great. Of course, I thought he looked good behind the kit, but I was never and will never admit that out loud. I was half expecting him to bring up giving me a stick.

“The drum solo was great.” I compliment him; his solos are some of the best. I can't deny that.

“Also, thanks for the drumstick.”

“You’re welcome.” He smiles, “I always try to give them to the hottest girls in the crowd.”

There he goes again with the compliments. I can feel my cheeks getting red. Rae, it means nothing. Calm down.

“You don't say much, do you?” He comments, but it's not in a condescending way, like most people mean it when they say it to me. More just made in observation.

“I’m just shy, sorry.” I apologize; I feel embarrassed. I'm sure he's used to women and people talking his ear off. I'm just sitting here like a mute, and it's no fun.

“It’s okay,” Eric says softly, “I think it's cute.”

In all my life, I've never had anyone call me shy and cute; like I mentioned, they are usually not that nice.

“Oh.” I replied, surprised, “Thank you. Most people think it weird.”

I feel my face getting warm again. I'm sure I'm blushing like a complete idiot. He’s being nice, and you’re just sitting here blushing like an idiot. I should probably say something nice back, or do I? I'm not good in social situations.

Before he can reply to that, Dana comes down the hall. Her heels clicked loudly on the tiled floor, catching my attention.

She shoots me a smirk once she notices Eric sitting with me. Oh god. I'm never going to hear the end of this.

“I won’t be coming home tonight.” She tells me, tossing her car keys at me. “Looks like you won't be either.”

“Dana, please,” I say, my face turning bright red in embarrassment. Could you leave it to Dana to embarrass me?

“What?” Dana says, playing innocent, “You’re talking to a man and not running away; this has to mean something.”

“I don't run away.” I lie.

I know exactly what she's referring to with that comment. We became roommates in our first year of college when I moved to Los Angeles. Dana set me up on a blind date with her then-boyfriend's friend.

He came on way too strong, which freaked me out, so I ran away. Like, I ran away. I turned and ran—one of my most embarrassing moments. I would instead say that Eric never knew about it, though.

“Freshmen year,” Dana says, giving me the Oh come on, Rae, don't you play dumb look.

“Fine, but in my defence, he came on to me way too strong,” I say, trying to defend myself and not look like a loser or weirdo in front of Eric.

“You’re hopeless.” Dana rolls her eyes.

“You know it,” I say, shooting a finger gun her way. Completely forgetting for a quick second, I sat next to Eric Carr of KISS, and what I did was majorly dorky.

“Please be gentle with her,” Dana says, looking at Eric. “She’s easily spooked.”

“Dana, please, I'm not your horse!” I say, completely and utterly embarrassed. I feel like hiding.

First, Dana suggests he'd want to sleep with me, which is highly unlikely. Plus, they have a highly embarrassing story of me running away from a date. There is no way Eric will want to talk to me after this encounter.

“I won’t come on too strong, I promise.” Eric jokes, “I don't want you running off on me.”

“I’m more worried you might run off after that embarrassing conversation,” I coyly say, shooting Dana a glare afterward.

“Embarrassing? I found it very informative.” Eric laughs, “Now I know what not to do.”

“Well, that's my queue to leave; see you tomorrow, Rae!” Dana says, giving me a little wave as she disappears down the hall.

I suddenly feel a yawn coming on. I glance at my watch. It's 1 am. I'm never usually up past 10:30 most nights. No wonder I'm tired. I also have work tomorrow, so I really should get going.

“I didn't know I was that boring.” Eric teases.

“It’s not you,” I tell him, laughing a little. I feel much more comfortable with him after he didn't run away after the Dana incident.

“It’s just that I have work tomorrow and never stay up this late,” I tell him, yawning halfway through the sentence.

“Well, before you go, would it be too bold to ask for your phone number?” Eric asks me with a sweet smile.

I'm surprised. No one has ever wanted my phone number before. Does this mean I've been wrong this whole time? Maybe he thinks I'm cute. Why else would he ask for my number?

“Okay,” I reply. I think he's earned it. After all, he's been sweet to me all night. As Dana would say, you only live once, right? And who am I to say no to Eric Carr of KISS having my phone number?

I open my notebook and carefully write it down. Then I write my name below it before ripping the page out of the notebook and folding it over before handing it to Eric.

He unfolded it and read it over, then looked at me.

“Rae.” He says, repeating the name he just read on the paper. I must admit it does sound nice coming out of his mouth- Rae, keep yourself in line.

“It suits you.”

“Thank you.” I smile shyly.

“I’ll give you a call.” He promises.

“I’m looking forward to it,” I tell him, and I wholeheartedly mean that. For the first time, I'm looking forward to talking to someone, and the feeling is new. Yet, for once, I'm not scared. No, I'm excited and it's a good feeling.

[wornkindness]

MINI CHARACTER PLAYLIST

SHARE AT LEAST FIVE SONGS THAT REMIND YOU OF YOUR MUSE, OR THAT YOU ASSOCIATE WITH YOUR MUSE’S CHARACTER ARC. Including lyrics is optional.

i have idk like 6 playlist for amelia, but my main one for her has almost 100 songs because i have a problem. so i guess i’ll just list songs i’m currently vibing with the most

stronger than a lion - delta rae

oh yeah, you want to drag me down / i'm stronger than a lion when the jackals come around / you may think i'm weak, that my heart beats faint / but you shouldn't judge an engine by the car's ripped paint / baby, i'm a fighter in the robes of a saint / pull me through your fire, but i feel no pain / i'll be a survivor when i rise from the flames

daughter - sleeping at last

the sunlight shines a little brighter / the weight of the world's a little lighter / the stars lean in a little closer / all because of you […] this is your kingdom / this is your crown/ this is your story / this is your moment / don't look down / you're ready, born ready

all-american bitch - olivia rodrigo

and i make light of the darkness / i've got sun in my motherfucking pocket, best believe […] i am light as a feather / i'm as fresh as the air / coca-cola bottles that i only use to curl my hair / i got class and integrity / just like a goddamn kennedy / i swear / with love to spare […] i don't get angry when i'm pissed / i'm the eternal optimist / i scream inside to deal with it […] i'm sexy and i'm kind / i'm pretty when i cry

you're on your kid - taylor swift (this is more specifically tied to amelia queen’s arc)

from sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes / i gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this / i hosted parties and starved my body / like i'd be saved by a perfect kiss / the jokes weren't funny, i took the money / my friends from home don't know what to say / i looked around in a blood-soaked gown / and i saw something they can't take away / 'cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned / everything you lose is a step you take / so make the friendship bracelets / take the moment and taste it / you've got no reason to be afraid / you're on your own, kid / yeah, you can face this / you're on your own, kid / you always have been

history of man - maisie peters (again a song tied to amelia’s queen arc)

you didn't even falter / didn't look back once, did you? / so samson blamed delilah, but given half the chance i / i would have made him weaker too / sirens sounded, trumpets blaring / you walked out oh, without sweating […] the men start wars yet troy hates helen / women's hearts are lethal weapons / did you hold mine and feel threatened? / hear my lyrics, taste my venom […] i've seen it, in the poems and the sands / i've pleaded, with the powers and their plans

i hope you dance - lee ann womack

i hope you never lose your sense of wonder, / you get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger, / may you never take one single breath for granted, / god forbid love ever leave you empty handed, / i hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean, / whenever one door closes i hope one more opens, / promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, / and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. / i hope you dance… i hope you dance… / i hope you never fear those mountains in the distance, / never settle for the path of least resistance, / livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin', / lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin', / don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter, / when you come close to sellin' out reconsider, / give the heavens above more than just a passing glance, / and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance./ i hope you dance

tagged by: @debelltio (thank you friend uwu) tagging: you!

[literalgrill]

I wanted to write about the best anime from 2023 so I did just that! You can support independent blogging by checking it out on my blog, or just click keep reading below and check out my thoughts here. Idk, I'm not your mom, do what you want! But hey, maybe share some cool shows I might have missed too? I love watching good stuff!

Over 300 anime shows and films were released in 2023, no seriously, I went and counted by hand and a bit after 300 is where I gave up! The amount of shows we get each season, let alone in an entire year, has been massively increasing as of late. While I obviously couldn't watch literally everything, it still made it incredibly difficult to narrow things down to a top 10. But you didn't come here to read an intro, let's get into the meat of things! I'll be covering everything from the Winter 2023 season through Fall 2023. Reader beware, minor spoilers ahead! Let's get to it ✦

Honorable Mentions:

Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury Season 2

It felt weird to include just the second part of the show when you need the first season to get the most out of it. While the first also technically ended in 2023 and I could joke about being the best kind of correct, I left this one off the list so other incredible choices could be included. But seriously, go watch one of the best Gundam series of all time!

Kaguya-sama: Love is War: -The First Kiss That Never Ends-

This one also technically could have made it as the episodic version was released during the Spring 2023 season. However, I was fortunate enough to watch it with my partner in a theater, so my experience with it was slightly different. And that movie officially came out in 2022. I would have included this one because of how my partner openly bawled right alongside me as we watched it despite having essentially no previous knowledge of the series. The movie dives deep into traumas surrounding loving oneself and the fears of opening up in intimate relationships in a way that is so powerful and relatable that I had to at least mention it here.

10. I'm in Love with the Villainess

It's easy to pack lists like this with nothing but "high art." It takes more guts to just openly say this slapstick lesbian romance is one of the best shows I saw this year! The show is all about Rae's adventures in her favorite otome game where she wants nothing to do with the princes and everything to do with Claire François. I'm not usually huge on isekai shows these days but common tropes of the genre aren't as in your face here. While her knowledge of the game comes in handy, it is rarely used as a deus ex machina to escape every difficult situation. This series produced so many reaction image worthy stills while still managing to pull quite hard on the heartstrings, especially at the end. I can only hope its second season is announced soon.

9. Sacrificial Princess and the King of Beasts

These days, shojo series are sadly adapted far less often than their shonen counterparts and are rarely even given full adaptations of their material at all. Hearing Sacrificial Princess and the King of Beasts would not only be fully adapted but also have its entire story aired without a break between cours made it instantly stand out as something to keep an eye on. Add hunky and cute furries to the mix and how could I say no?

All kidding aside, the show has over-the-top cheesy romance moments distilled down to such a science that they seriously brought me to tears. It's unfair that shojo anime are stereotyped as being only about romances but it's hard to deny that no stories do romance quite like shojo stories. The machinations of the nobility add political intrigue that kept me hooked throughout as well. Hell, there were even some pretty good fight scenes!

I can't deny the iffy age issues between Sariphi and King Leonhart are a bit ehhhhh and why it's a bit lower on my list, even if these elements are not even remotely focused on in the series at all unlike some more problematic releases in 2023 (I'm looking at you A Girl & Her Guard Dog). But if that's not a dealbreaker for you, I'd recommend giving this underseen gem of 2023 a shot.

8. Ōoku: The Inner Chambers

I admit, I almost missed this one purely by being busy. Its first episode being over an hour long alone was a lot to plan around, so I didn't catch it when it came out in spring. However, Colleen's Manga Recs made an entire video about why people should watch it, so I kept it in the back of my mind until I was free to check it out recently.

I'm so glad that I did! There are far too many half-baked stories released as of late exploring how society might change if a majority or all of the male population were to suddenly die from disease. This one is all the way baked and paints the picture of a fascinating world where gender roles are turned upside down and royalty struggles to maintain succession in a world where men have been traditionally expected to rule. I don't want to spoil much here, it's worth seeing the story yourself. If the first episode gets a tight grip on your mind, you'll enjoy the rest of the series for sure.

Just be warned: The series does discuss and depict sexual assault. Be sure if you're going to check this one out that you're prepared for this and a lot of other heavy subject matter.

7. Yuri Is My Job

Especially for those who have avidly enjoyed lesbian romance stories from Japan, Yuri Is My Job is among the best yuri anime released in years. This is because it not only features a yuri romance, but breaks down historic tropes of the genre itself from the days of early Class S literature. This meta commentary alongside sweet complex romantic relationships came together to become more than just a show where a girl is wrangled into working for an oddly themed private school cafe!

If you're interested in these deeper parts of the show, Anime Feminist released a fantastic retrospective on the anime you'll want to check out. If you haven't seen this one yet and love everything yuri, do yourself a favor and get this on your screen already!

6. Buddy Daddies

It feels like the release of SPY x FAMILY kinda drowned this show out as too many people tried to say it was just a copy trying to ride off the coattails of a major success. This couldn't be less of a case! Just because people in high risk jobs suddenly adopt a daughter doesn't mean their stories will be the same.

Buddy Daddies has some comedic hijinks but is far more focused on what is essentially a queer relationship between two men as they become the best people they can be while taking care of a girl suddenly thrust into their care. How do you get a kid signed up for school, get all her supplies, and help her with the issues a young girl faces all while being top tier assassins? Oh, and did I mention that it's an original anime and not an adaptation to boot? Come for the badass action scenes and stay for the deep emotional core of the show.

5. Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead

It should be obvious I deeply enjoyed Zom 100, hell I made an entire video essay about it! I have few other praises to speak about the show that weren't included there already. I'll just say that the last three episodes of the show absolutely delivered a compelling finale. Check this out for something outside the tropey zombie norm!

4. Overtake!

MF Ghost seemed like it had all the power of Initial D behind it as proof it would be the racing anime of the year, let alone Fall 2023. Overtake! simply made that impossible. It may not be as flashy, but the extremly grounded story of a son trying to follow in the footsteps of his F4 racing father and a man trying to recover from his trauma surrounding taking photographs of people is just so raw and real. The show is character driven to perfection and it's impossible to not care about the hopes and dreams feveryone involved by the time it concludes. The racing is also way more focused in reality than most other shows, which may be a turn off for those who want off-the-walls action, but is a marvel for those who intimately know the actual sport. Another anime original that absolutely swept me off my feet.

3. Helck

If Helck doesn't get a second season I swear I'll start a riot. The show starts off so goofy with this overpowered RPG world hero absolutely demolishing the competition to become the new demon king and quickly becomes a series about maintaining hope and fighting for freedom while within extreme emotional turmoil. There are so many themes in this show that are relevant in current times, especially the bit where the human government paints an entire race of people as being evil despite that not being the case... Hint hint...

I looked more forward to seeing this show than anything else in each week in the Summer 2023 season and can't recommend it more!

2. The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady

This show possibly made me cry harder than anything else released in 2023 which is a driving force behind why it's so high up on my list. It is by far the best isekai of 2023 as well, especially because of how subtly the main character Anisphia Wynn Palettia being reincarnated affects the plot to begin with. There are so many ways this show pulls at the heartstrings from Euphyllia trying to figure out what she wants in her life after knowing little but being raised to marry a prince to the complex darkness held in the heart of Anisphia's brother, there's just so much to dig into here.

It's not too often we get to see a full blown lesbian wedding at the end of a series either. There's no plausible deniability here, no leaving things up to interpretation, this show has lesbians in love! Period! I want to make sure all the emotional beats have their chance to hit so I won't risk spoiling anything more. Just please, pretty please, watch The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady.

1. Pluto

If I could only get people to watch one anime series this year, it would have to be Pluto. The questions it raises on AI and humanity couldn't have come at a better time, and it challenges the viewer to decide what they think instead of simply giving an answer they want you to believe. It directly calls out the kind of garbage America pulled during its "War on Terror" in a time when the country is currently destabilizing the middle east once again. As America actively and publicly funds a genocide despite the wishes of the majority of its citizens. It shows what happens when hate is a driving force behind decisions and how that can and will come back to haunt us all.

All of this is wrapped up in an incredible murder mystery that could have been enough to carry the show all by itself! This brainchild of Naoki Urasawa and Osamu Tezuka himself should be watched by anyone who considers themselves a fan of anime. Hell, show this one to any fan of sci-fi that is prepared for a psychological drama that will knock their socks off.

[westernchords]

2020: a replay & reflection

so... here we are at the near end of a very long, unsettling & strange year. and at this particular moment in time, spotify has released its 2020 wrapped feature, an annual highlight for gay people everywhere (self VERY included). since the world is very large & this is a personal blog with a limited scope, i'll talk about what i know best: the view from my corner of the musical world.

i only had two songs in common with any previous year -- i wish i missed my ex by mahalia & sugar by brockhampton (... i know, the heartache is loud already,)

4 unique rain asmr audios made it into my top 15 (they help me sleep lolol)

show tunes was my #4 most listened to genre and yet not a single one made it into my top 100. (i'm pretty sure it was all of my late night waitress sing alongs)

i discovered 1,012 new artists and 162 new genres

all very fun and interesting things! however, in looking at this year, there are two things to discuss that are most important: the amount of time i spent listening to music (111,989 minutes) and my top song, fake mona lisa. let's discuss both.

on time: in short, music means a lot to me. in long, i mean that music has been central to my life for as long as i can remember. i think of my church choir and my mother singing eartha kitt and corrine bailey rae in the kitchen, my father's surprise talents at piano when he would play in chapel, and how i like to make up little ditties to sing for my dog or while i cook or to solely entertain myself. if one was to take a look at my journals, each entry is annotated with the song i was listening to or suited my mood at the time i was writing. at any moment, i am capable of revisiting the emotional landscape of old memories all set to the very soundtrack that holds that particular past closest.

i still remember plucking violin strings at 5, how i used to stack music books so i could sit up straight on my piano bench because i was too short at 7, picking up woodwinds in highschool and letting my best friend act as conductor, and now, singing endlessly- day in and day out, because it makes me feel like i am traveling home. i think of creole folk songs that connect me to my family, my diaspora. i remember the favorite songs and artists of people i don't know anymore, but still. it stays with me. my friend cj says i have a great emotional sensitivity to music, but more so, music simply connects to every cornerstone of who i am. the creation of it, the listening, the love of it. the constancy.

music is integral to my daily routine and life. since i was 13, maybe younger, i have always believed that the first song i hear in a day sets the tone so i always try to play something i love and makes me feel joyful to start off on the right foot. i will do this my entire life. every day is permeated by sound and the data shows it. 111,989 minutes is almost 3 months straight. this doesn't even count soundcloud listens or youtube tracks or music i play on my own. this felt fitting. music, this year in particular, has been a salve to both new and old hurt. and maybe i am picking at my scabs, but 2020 has amplified so much anger and shame and fear and despite that, there is so much joy in art. music is a balm for the world, it is poetry in its own right.

on fake mona lisa: so .. i am kind of obsessed with this song. fifteen hours worth of listening, i text my friends i'll join the video call soon - i just need one more replay, i got high and played this song while lying in the middle of a meadow and experienced more emotions than i had had in a very long time, my friends lovingly tease me about it so it's sort of like a character trait now, kind of obsessed. my turning to this song was the sort of romance that i didn't anticipate, but fell very hard into and, if you know me, you know that's my favorite kind. let's get into why: when dedicated side b came out, i was heartbroken. there's really no other way to put it. i was alone, back in my childhood bedroom, and harboring a reopened wound from past relationships that maybe had never closed in the first place. i was in this strange, melancholic knee-deep-in-emotions place & if you're an avid CRJ fan, you recognize that's a place she knows and sings about well.

as a song, fake mona lisa tends to be one of carly's more lyrically opaque tracks. which is fine, i'm a storyteller at heart, i'll craft my own narrative. (and honestly, there wasn't much legwork here.) without doing a full blown analysis, here are pieces that i find important to note about the song lyrically and resonate most with me -- big or small.

(transcription at bottom)

what i'm basically saying is that this song is about risk and young love and sex. its about secrets, cheap thrills, fast & easy desires, and the fantastical euphoria of a dead-end-but-still-fun “we're young so what's the matter,“ relationship. (very reminiscent of LA hallucinations, imo) and to me, someone who has been in and out of this same subset of emotional affairs, fake mona lisa stuck with me. vegas is a city of high risk, high reward- where else to chase that superficial, unattainable someone? more so, the song gives you the understanding that the relationship doesn't last, but that was not what carly ever truly wanted out of it. fake mona lisa is, at its core, about over indulgence in pleasure as a stand in for actual love + commitment, something i am oft to do myself & only did more of after dedicated side b dropped. i latched onto the slow and simmering exposition into glittery pre-chorus, starlit imagery, shiny-faraway vocals, and frankly, there was no competition for my song of the year. the song is a dream. i love it and i know what that says about me, but i stand by it. 

dedicated side b, especially fake mona lisa, carried me through the healing process of heartbreaks that crystallized into many other things- indulgence, desire, risk, short lived romances, secrets, joy, kisses i should've kept to myself, spontaneous dance breaks, tears, etc., it is an album about love, recovery, and returning to the self. fake mona lisa is just my favorite stop on a long train ride to an okay-ness with aspects of romance (both with the self and others) that i am still figuring out the messy, rose-tinted, contours of.

and sonically? i just adore the key of d minor.

as a last touch point, fake mona lisa was only the tip of the iceberg of songs  i obsessed over about not-exactly-ideal romances. again and again and again, heartbreak anthems appeared in my top 100, a deviation from my typical warmth towards romantic sentiments that appeared in past years. instead, there is a sense of love-at-a-distance, a painting yourself as the object of desire, a severed attachment, a not wanting to commit at all (see let's be friends, heartbeat, want you in my room, all by crj ... all appearing on the list.) however, much of what appeared celebrated love and having tremendous, special, struck by cupid, feelings. it's all there. what i'm saying is that carly rae jepsen writes music for lovestruck people- both lucky and not so much, hopeless or hopeful -- you name it. she writes about how you can fall in love with almost anyone, soundtracks for the highs of the first throes of intimacy, the first (and last) kiss, the shared moments between two people when they are each other's whole world, and the palpable distance of heartache, separation, and the landscape between. 

she writes as though she is both eros and psyche, armed with arrows of cascading melodies, tipped with a salve for suppressing+healing+amplifying heartbreak, and lyrics so intimate and dreamy, you really can't help but believe in love with the way she speaks of it. love is a venture from shame, a fantasy that is more real than anything else, tender and kind, pleasurable, and escapable into. the world is better in it, the world is better because of it. in carly rae jepsen's discography, love is the defining pillar of experience. a northern star and guiding principle. it is the only thing, no matter what form. & frankly? i cant help but agree.

as a final note, in hanif wills-abdurraqib's emotion review for MTV, carly rae jepsen's public displays of affection, he says this:

thats all for now. bye 2020.

- august

///

transcription of my notes:

verse 1:

city/star light imagery

i am known for wearing a star stamp on my cheek

infatuation & attraction

paints a photo of a starlet and her lover, a fair weather affair

pre-chorus:

always waiting fro a chance the object of desire

a high from love, addictive pleasures

chorus:

sex & art & risk taking (art synonymous with beauty. + seduction)

she knows she cant handle this in a real way, but wants it

desire vs/& (in conjunction with) pain

verse 2:

an idealistic worldview, hoping for the best, always somewhere else not present. 

dreamy lyrics + dreamy state of mind, cloudy even.

specifically the words fake mona lisa:

contrast, beautiful yet fully acknowledged to be unreal/superficial

a stand in for “real art“ aka “real love“